Відео

@@patrickkennedy5308 Thanks Patrick! I look forward to that!

Thanks for letting me know. The subtitles I'm seeing look like they're Russian, although I'm not enough of a linguist to be sure. They were added by someone out there in UA-cam land. I have a vague memory of someone asking permission to add them. Sadly I don't speak or understand the language they're written in. I'll try and find someone to look over them and even replace them!

@@newtbailey the ones I saw were in English and they're very different from what is spoken. It's like they are conveying basically the same meaning but using different words, and it's not a word here and there, it's throughout the whole video. Anyway, just thought I would let you know.

Hi Chris, Thank you for the feedback. Right now I'm working on videos for my online courses (findable at communicationdojo.com). I also have some longer audio I'll be uploading to UA-cam soon.

Yes, I very much like the idea of both members of a couple listening to each other with empathy. I also like the NVC teaching that, very often, "Empathy before education" is a guideline that can support connection. I'm playing Simon as someone very new to NVC, who decides to start with empathy for Celina, rather than immediately "educating" Celina about his own needs. This video is one of a set of three where the primary intention was to show some early stages of trying to use NYC in dialogue 26th family members. In the next one we show Celina both giving and asking for empathy while in conversation with her mom. My hope was to show that we can start taking steps with NVC even if they're just tentative first steps. It's definitely a journey though, to take a relationship from habitual blame, judgment, criticism, demands etc. into ever deeper living of the principles described by NVC. Thanks for your comment.

Your comment reminds me of Kelly Bryson's NVC book "Don't be nice be real"

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Thanks for the reminders. I just published them. Thank you so much!

Thank you. I just did some corrections to the English subtitles. Thank you for the feedback too! Yes. Attention to what's true in the present moment, down to whatever is the most vulnerable thing to express. Sometimes that's the only way to find connection with another person.

Awesome, thank you! I just went out and made some edits and published it. I think if you read through the English ones again you might find some places where you want to change the Russian translation based on my rewording of the English. I've published the Russian subtitles too...although I'm proceeding completely on trust as I can read not one word of Russian!

@@newtbailey Thank you for trusting me! And please don't worry - you can! :) I'm not a professional translator, but my recent experience in translation and listening/reading to other professional translators showed me to my surprise that I am pretty good at it. I made an official translation work this year - it is an intro to Ecstatic Birth Training Sessions that can be found at www.ecstatic-birth.com (Sheila Kamara Hay is my teacher and a business partner) That's my other passion in life - being a birth educator, Ecstatic Birth Practitioner, and bringing new messages across cultures I live in. + I've been sharing NVC for this past year on a level that made me think of considering going through CNVC trainer certification process. It is just a matter of time (hard to find time for inperson training while being a mom of 2 kids under 5). This year I basically created and ran a pilot version of NVC course in Russian that is ready to be monetized. That's a course I want these subtitles for. There is almost nothing to show people NVC in action in Russian so far. There is only 1 certified trainer and 1 candidate in Russia as much as I am aware of, and I have not seen them creating anything like that, and for me it is a bit challenging to create a similar video as I live in Guatemala and there are not so many Russian speakers around you know. Even my husband is not. :) Anyway, back to subtitles subject: I submitted a new version of Russian subtitles for this video. The changes were very minor. Can you please, also revise and approve the subtitles for the 1st part of this video trilogy? (The subtitles still didn't appear there) I will work on part 3 in the afternoon. Thank you!

This is so cool. And beautiful.

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

@@newtbailey Maybe... :) but not right now. I'm overloaded with work for the moment. Just started studying at the course about how to create my own online school. :) But I have some questions about CNVC certification process and I wonder if you could help me to clarify them? If yes, where shall I write to you?

@@birthwithpleasure9685 newt@communicationdojo.com

Thank you for this feedback. I'm glad you like the videos! I'll look into switching on the subtitles option...

I think if you follow this link you can add in subtitles: ua-cam.com/users/timedtext_video?v=tYDa8Zl0AMg&ref=share

and if you replace tYDa8Zl0AMg with the code for other videos of mine on the same channel you can create subtitles for them too. I'll also go switch on the same functionality for the Communication Dojo channel on UA-cam.

@@comdojo I actually don't need the link :) Now since you changed the settings, I can open settings on my side - click subtitles and then I see the option "add subtitles" :) This is great! :) I may add some today! :)

@@birthwithpleasure9685 Great! I hope your translation will lead to benefit for many Russian speakers!

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Hi Victoria, Thank you for your feedback. I feel encouraged to make more videos! Not sure if you've seen this one, but I think it somewhat addresses what you wanted to see: ua-cam.com/video/KuuLFIb11Pw/v-deo.html

@@newtbailey Hi - thanks for your reply, Newt. I did view the one that you've linked to here. I remember thinking wow, that's amazing, to think that people can actually soothe themselves and get in touch with what's going on so that they can be open and curious instead of blindly furious or hurt, to connect with someone else. That feels foreign and unreachable to me in most moments. I feel way more triggered in this video though, the dynamic, the guy/girl, the language, just everything - I live through it almost every day with other people and mostly walk around with a vanished sense of humor and a compounded sense of disbelief and debilitating anger (yes therapy/ yes meditatation / yes reflection and workshops and and and lol). Anyway - thanks for checking in, and if you and Kathryn ever do feel inspired to make another video that would be pretty great.

Yes, lots more for my character to learn about Nonviolent Communication here. I'm playing him here like someone who has only just read the NVC book and is just starting to try communicating using what he's learned. First baby steps!

Matthew Freye I agree. *And* I believe that if you commit to integrating NVC in your life...not just techniques of putting words together differently, but building a practice of self-connection and developing your skill with empathic listening and "self-expression from the heart," then something will change in the relationship. You might find that effective communication begins to grow with the other person when you change yourself. Or you might find that even though the other person is not changing, you no longer have an expectation or demand on them to meet certain needs... Living authentically from the heart, with both kindness and authenticity, is likely to lead to some changes in your life, including in your relationships with others. Whatever happens though, if you've integrated NVC you will not carry "enemy images" of the other person in your mind, and you will see the humanity in all they do and say, even if you don't like it. Lots more could be said on this... My summary to people is "don't let someone else's level of willingness to change be the deciding factor on your willingness to change."

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Nobody has to agree with my willingness to see what there needs are. When some needs are hard to recognize in others, it is a signal that that need is probably not being met in me. Ex: "you went to the gym when I was sleeping while we both agreed that you would not go but that it was my turn to go in the morning." Self empathy: (I was scared so I agreed. I was scared so I did not tell here where I went. I saw an opportunity and I went to the gym) To my partner: Did you felt scared because you did not know where I was? Did you feel angry that our agreement was not respected? Did you feel disrespected? (I don't know. I m trying)

Thank you for that feedback! I'm making more...and there are already some others at ua-cam.com/users/CommunicationDojo

And there's some good stuff here too: ua-cam.com/users/baynvcplaylists

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :) - lots more video there!

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Remember, the narcissist is only provoking you because they need constant validation. That is their (need), which means their need is being unmet so they keep provoking everyone around them. They probably hate themself worse than anyone out there. Persist on getting to their root feelings. The narcissist is truly scared of how they really feel and that's why they cover up their feelings. The narcissist wants to make everything about them, so go ahead and make it all about them. They will lie at first, but keep prying, the narcissist will realize how they're lying to themselves. If they try to blame you for how they're feeling, ignore this, that's a self-defense mechanism, and still trying to get their unmet need. Keep pushing. Once you unveil their true feelings, then you can connect and tell them you're feeling.

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Kelly E Montana Yes. Many people who come to my workshops talk about having had that experience with partners, roommates etc. who have learned a little NVC. Maybe they've learned just enough NVC to put others off NVC for life. This video is meant to demonstrate this difficulty, and at least to encourage people new to NVC to be transparent about what they're trying to do. I generally recommend that people not think in terms of "using NVC on others." That mindset is fraught with difficulties....like "using NVC to get my way" or "trying to force others to use NVC" or "using NVC to pretend that I care even if I actually don't." I recommend using NVC firstly and primarily as a way of understanding myself, and seeing the humanity in others...seeing what's important to them, and that what's important to them is just as important as what's important to me, no more no less. If I really get that then the way I communicate with others will be changed, but I won't be "using NVC on others," I'll just be talking like someone who cares about others, while still caring about myself.

Maybe her mom puts the man down, possibly in subtle ways, disrespecting him. You then focus on her feelings. Then the conversation becomess about how you're (the man) blaming, judging and criticizing. She feels better and agrees with your self criticism. No thanks. The man's needs and feelings about the mom never happened. I believe that never happened because the other partner wouldn't be understanding, apologetic and self abnegating. I didn't get that what's important to the man is just as important to the woman. The man's needs and feelings didn't exist in the video except to verbally say he wants connection, which was achieved by focusing only on her feelings and needs.

@@thorn9351 For sure, sometimes someone leads with the empathy. Attempting to integrate NVC in my life has meant frequently being the one who is leading with empathy. People are frequently living in an empathy desert - not getting it and not giving it. I can perhaps change that by giving it. Often (though, I concede, not always) once a person feels thoroughly heard for their feelings, needs etc. they start, quite "organically," to become more interested in what's going on for the other person. I don't want to wait for the other person to see my feelings and needs as equally important as theirs before I'm willing to see theirs as equally important as mine. At the same time, if I'm going to build a life with someone I'll certainly be speaking up honestly if my sense is that the empathy is only ever flowing in one direction. That would not be a tolerable status quo for me.

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Thanks for the comment. Looks like we didn't quite show what we were aiming for :) We're never aiming for a package of nice words without honesty, but rather a package of words that contain equal honesty and compassion. It's an interesting balancing act, and always possible to slip one way or the other. A quote I like is "Honesty without compassion is brutality. Compassion without honesty is powerlessness." My approach is to communicate about whatever is coming up and aim to resolve whatever is presenting itself, then if there's another issue, or a bigger issue, still to resolve, I move onto that one as soon as it appears. Step-by-step toward greater peace and connection between us, which can then spread out to other people around us...including your partner's mom :).

samuelesdrucciolo Very much connected to compassion and loving kindness, I think. You might be able to find trainers in Italy through CNVC.org

facebook.com/cnvmediazioneitalia/

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

I'd love to make more. I've actually made a lot more videos with my collaborator Ali Miller, you can see a few in the communicationdojo channel here in UA-cam. The rest are awaiting final edits so we can launch them... Thanks for the comment :-)

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

Just thought you might like to know about our online course: www.communicationdojo.com/onlinecourse :)

@@newtbailey Could you submit English subtitles too?