Відео

just discovered your channel and wanted to say you're awesome! looking forward to more of your content :)

This was helpful, thank you

Right on time!

❤

Boundaries were things that I never learned about as a child plus my mother is an anxious, controlling person so I don't believe that she would have respected any boundaries that I may have been able to develop. That, along with her parentification and codependency, caused me to develop the belief that tending to other's feeling were more important than my own. And that, in turn, developed into the unconscious belief that I must fix/rescue/save others and so I would become attached to unhealthy partners. Thanks for putting together this series!

Ooooh wow my dear ji superb thanks ji

🎃🥰❤💙🎯🔥thank you

🎃🥰❤💙🎯💚🔥🦞thank you

This was a difficult watch but in a good way. Very accurate to my experience. Thank you. I was in a relationship with a narcissist in which I was very codependent. I’m happy with the choice I made to leave, but the guilt, self-doubt and the negative self-image have been difficult to shake and are growing, three months down the line. I just find it hard to believe that I deserve this freedom or that I could be loved again. It’s not that I find myself unloveable per se, it’s a more abstract feeling of “they may think they like me now but wait til they find out what I’m REALLY like! I’m a nightmare!” Like I am fooling everyone and am about to be found out for the deeply flawed person I was told I was for 7 years. I am in therapy, but will watch more of your videos! Xxx

🎃🥰💙❤🎯💚🦞thank you

🎃💙🥰❤🔥🎯💚🦞thank you

🥰🎃❤🔥💙💚🦞thank you

No matter who we are or where are come from ❤❤❤ the important we are human

Wow honestly thank you so much you’re so intuitive and this info is literally a god send and so soothing to my soul ❤❤❤❤❤

Well shiiiiet I been confused my whole life 😂

These videos have been a game changer for me. Thank you for much for your content. X

I love the nuance and flexibility to approaching these issues you provide in your videos. Thank u

This has been really helpful, thank you! Many lightbulb moments 💡

I wish i could hear you because i feel like this would help me. Please look at the volume issue

I'd imagine that telling your story felt very vulnerable. Though I would like to say that hearing about your story (so similar to my own) helped clear up a lot of the murkiness that I feel regarding my struggle with relationships. Thank you for this!

This video will be put to good use! I appreciate your content so much. Pls don’t stop making videos or at least keep these up. They are so helpful, and I love how they’re structured. Very coherent and easy to follow. Thank you again 😊🙏🏻

🔑

Wow I can’t tell you how on time this is for me

Thank you for sharing your story, there are so many good nuggets here.

I can’t wait to dig deep into this material and use it! Thank you 🙏🏻

This video needs to be the bible for all recovering empaths and people pleasers. You have put to words my exact experience, for which I cannot find words for. Thank you so much.

I randomly stumbled upon this video and it was really helpful. I’ve been going through taking on other peoples emotions my entire life. I struggle with trying to find a balance because I love connecting deeply with people and understanding them but a lot of the times it feels like it comes at the cost of my own energy. Thank you for sharing your words and a bit of your journey

You are massively appreciated. The whole journey of healing from codependency & attachment wounds is confusing & difficult & often painful. I'm trying. You're helping! Thanks so much!

Are you accepting clients? I assume the answer is likely “no”however, I just wanted to ask!

Thank you all for listening, and I hope you are able to take away something valuable from this video! For any fellow nerds out there, here are the sources I consulted for this video. Feel free to browse through in case there is something that feels meaningful for you to dig into 🤓 a lot of research went into this video, so please excuse me for how long this list is 😉 Albrecht, A.K., Galambos, N.L. & Jansson, S.M. Adolescents’ internalizing and aggressive behaviors and perceptions of parents’ psychological control: a panel study examining direction of effects. (2007). J Youth Adolescence 36, 673-684. doi.org/10.1007/s10964-007-9191-5 American Psychological Association. (2018). Resilience. In APA Dictionary of Psychology. dictionary.apa.org/resilience?_gl=1%2A1hjpmwm%2A_ga%2AMTQ5OTc2MTMyOC4xNzE2NzMyOTE5%2A_ga_SZXLGDJGNB%2AMTcxNzA3NjYwNS4xLjAuMTcxNzA3NjYwNS4wLjAuMA. Barber, Brian & Stolz, Heidi & Olsen, Joseph. (2005). Parent support, psychological control, and behavioral control: Assessing relevance across time, culture, and method. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development. 70. 1-137. 10.1111/j.1540-5834.2005.00365.x. Baumrind, D. (1971). Current patterns of parental authority. Developmental Psychology, 4(1, Pt.2), 1-103. doi.org/10.1037/h0030372 Beyarslan, S.D., Uzer, T. Psychological control and indulgent parenting predict emotional-abuse victimization in romantic relationships. Curr Psychol 41, 5532-5545 (2022). doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-01072-w Brenner, G. (2020). What parenting styles set kids up for emotional abuse? Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/202009/what-parenting-styles-set-kids-emotional-abuse Child Development Institute. (2018). The power of attunement. cdikids.org/autism/power-attunement/ Dariotis, J.K., Chen, F.R., Park, Y.R., Nowak, M.K., French, K.M., Codamon, A.M. (2023). Parentification Vulnerability, Reactivity, Resilience, and Thriving: A Mixed Methods Systematic Literature Review. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2023, 20, 6197. doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20136197 Delvecchio, E., Germani, A., Raspa, V., Lis, A., & Mazzeschi, C. (2020). Parenting Styles and Child's Well-Being: The Mediating Role of the Perceived Parental Stress. Europe's journal of psychology, 16(3), 514-531. doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v16i3.2013 Gale, J., Muruthi, B. (2017). Triangles and Triangulation in Family Systems Theory. In: Lebow, J., Chambers, A., Breunlin, D. (eds) Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy. Springer, Cham. doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-15877-8_758-1 Gibson, L. C. (2016). Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. ReadHowYouWant. Hooper, L. M. (2008). Defining and understanding parentification: implications for all counselors. The Alabama Counseling Association Journal, Volume 34, Number1, Spring 2008. files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ875392.pdf Jakobsen, K. V., & Fischer, P. (2023). Development of self. Child and Adolescent Development. pressbooks.lib.jmu.edu/topicalchilddev/chapter/development-of-self/ Harvard University. (2024). Neglect. Center on the Developing Child. developingchild.harvard.edu/science/deep-dives/neglect/ Harvard University. (2024). Resilience. Center on the Developing Child. developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/#:~:text=The%20single%20most%20common%20factor,buffer%20children%20from%20developmental%20disruption. Hoghughi, M. & Speight, A. (1998). Good enough parenting for all children - A strategy for a healthier society. Archives of Disease in Childhood, 78, 4, 293-296. Kawabata, Y., Alink, L. R. A., Tseng, W.-L., van IJzendoorn, M. H., & Crick, N. R. (2011). Maternal and paternal parenting styles associated with relational aggression in children and adolescents: A conceptual analysis and meta-analytic review. Developmental Review, 31(4), 240-278. doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2011.08.001 Kuppens, S., & Ceulemans, E. (2019). Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept. Journal of child and family studies, 28(1), 168-181. doi.org/10.1007/s10826-018-1242-x Lang, A. (2018). Family structure, family functioning, and well-being in adolescence: A Multidimensional Approach. International Journal of Humanities and Social Science , Vol. 8, No. 2. www.ijhssnet.com/journals/Vol_8_No_2_February_2018/3.pdf Lavrič, M., & Naterer, A. (2020). The power of authoritative parenting: A cross-national study of effects of exposure to different parenting styles on life satisfaction. Children and Youth Services Review, 116, 105274. doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2020.105274 León-Del-Barco, B., Mendo-Lázaro, S., Polo-Del-Río, M. I., & López-Ramos, V. M. (2019). Parental Psychological Control and Emotional and Behavioral Disorders among Spanish Adolescents. International journal of environmental research and public health, 16(3), 507. doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16030507 Maccoby E., Martin J. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. In: Mussen PH, editor. Handbook of Child Psychology. Wiley; New York Masiran, R., Ibrahim, N., Awang, H., & Lim, P. Y. (2023). The positive and negative aspects of parentification: An integrated review. Children and Youth Services Review, 144, 106709. doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2022.106709 Maté, G. (2003). When the body says no: the cost of hidden stress (1st ed). A.A. Knopf Canada. Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy. London: Routledge. Ross, N., Gilbert, R., Torres, S., Dugas, K., Jefferies, P., McDonald, S., Savage, S., & Ungar, M. (2020). Adverse childhood experiences: Assessing the impact on physical and psychosocial health in adulthood and the mitigating role of resilience. Child abuse & neglect, 103, 104440. doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2020.104440 Soenens, B. & Vansteenkiste, M. (2010). A theoretical upgrade of the concept of parental psychological control: Proposing new insights on the basis of self-determination theory. / Developmental Review 30, p. 74-99. selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2010_SoenensVansteenkiste_DR.pdf Tanzer, M., Salaminios, G., Morosan, L., Campbell, C., & Debbané, M. (2020). Self-Blame Mediates the Link between Childhood Neglect Experiences and Internalizing Symptoms in Low-Risk Adolescents. Journal of child & adolescent trauma, 14(1), 73-83. doi.org/10.1007/s40653-020-00307-z Wood B. (1985). Proximity and hierarchy: orthogonal dimensions of family interconnectedness. Family process, 24(4), 487-507. doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.1985.00487.x

Come on youtube algorythm, do yo thang! ^^

You're videos are really valueable thank you!!!

i love that you just dived right in. i wish every youtuber did that 💫

It's sad but I've always found it difficult to find a role model, and I was unable to come up with someone during your exercise... I've always pushed myself to be my best self... Clearly this is not for a lack of people in the world to look up to, there must be something in me that stopped believing in it and therefore stopped expecting to find anyone.

Could somebody link the video that is recommended at the beginning of this one? Thanks!

There wasn't enough character space for this in the description of the video (so I am posting the longest comment ever), but I want to make sure you have access to all of the sources I consulted in making this video. Here you go: Agren, T. et al. (2012). Disruption of Reconsolidation Erases a Fear Memory Trace in the Human Amygdala. Science 337, 1550-1552. DOI: 10.1126/science.1223006 Allsopp, K., Read, J., Corcoran, R., & Kinderman, P. (2019). Heterogeneity in psychiatric diagnostic classification. Psychiatry Research, 279, 15-22. doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2019.07.005 Bryant, R. A., & Datta, S. (2019). Reconsolidating Intrusive Distressing Memories by Thinking of Attachment Figures. Clinical Psychological Science, 7(6), 1249-1256. doi.org/10.1177/2167702619866387 Clem, R. L., & Schiller, D. (2016). New Learning and Unlearning: Strangers or Accomplices in Threat Memory Attenuation? Trends in Neurosciences, 39(5), 340-351. doi.org/10.1016/j.tins.2016.03.003 Coherence Psychology Institute. (2023). Psychotherapy Unification Via Memory Reconsolidation. Coherence Psychology Institute. www.coherencetherapy.org/discover/TRP-documented-therapies.htm Ecker, B. (2015). Memory Reconsolidation Understood and Misunderstood. International Journal of Neuropsychotherapy. 3. 2-46. 10.12744/ijnpt.2015.0002-0046. Ecker, B., Ticic, R., Hulley, L., & Sibson, P., Martignetti, C. A., Geoghegan, N., & Connor, T. A. (Collaborators). (2012). Unlocking the emotional brain: Eliminating symptoms at their roots using memory reconsolidation. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Ecker, B., Bridges, S.K. How the Science of Memory Reconsolidation Advances the Effectiveness and Unification of Psychotherapy. Clin Soc Work J 48, 287-300 (2020). doi.org/10.1007/s10615-020-00754-z Flakentein, B. Savage, J. Ecker, B. (2023). Feeling What We Remember - Interview with Bruce Ecker. Notice That. Podcast Audio, episode no. 94. Greenberg, L. S. (2012). Emotions, the great captains of our lives: Their role in the process of change in psychotherapy. American Psychologist, 67(8), 697-707. Hänsel, A., & von Känel, R. (2008). The ventro-medial prefrontal cortex: a major link between the autonomic nervous system, regulation of emotion, and stress reactivity?. BioPsychoSocial medicine, 2, 21. doi.org/10.1186/1751-0759-2-21 Kazdin A. E. (2006). Arbitrary metrics: implications for identifying evidence-based treatments. The American psychologist, 61(1), 42-71. doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.61.1.42 LaBar, K., Cabeza, R. (2006). Cognitive neuroscience of emotional memory. Nat Rev Neurosci 7, 54-64. doi.org/10.1038/nrn1825 Lampinen, J. M., & Beike, D. R. (2014). Frozen in Time: Traumatic Memories. In Memory 101 (pp. 201-238). Springer Publishing Company. doi.org/10.1891/9780826109255.0007 Lane R.D., Ryan L., Nadel L., Greenberg L.. (2015). Memory reconsolidation, emotional arousal, and the process of change in psychotherapy: New insights from brain science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences;38:e1. doi:10.1017/S0140525X14000041 Ledoux, J. (2007). Emotional memory. In Scholarpedia Article www.scholarpedia.org/article/Emotional_memory Masiran, R., Ibrahim, N., Awang, H., & Lim, P. Y. (2023). The positive and negative aspects of parentification: An integrated review. Children and Youth Services Review, 144, 106709. doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2022.106709 Maté, G. (2003). When the body says no : the cost of hidden stress (1st ed). A.A. Knopf Canada. McGaugh, J. L., & Roozendaal, B. (2002). Role of adrenal stress hormones in forming lasting memories in the brain. Current Opinion in Neurobiology, 12(2), 205-210. doi.org/10.1016/S0959-4388(02)00306-9 Nader K. (2015). Reconsolidation and the Dynamic Nature of Memory. Cold Spring Harbor perspectives in biology, 7(10), a021782. doi.org/10.1101/cshperspect.a021782 Pedreira, M. E., Pérez-Cuesta, L. M., & Maldonado, H. (2004). Mismatch between what is expected and what actually occurs triggers memory reconsolidation or extinction. Learning & memory (Cold Spring Harbor, N.Y.), 11(5), 579-585. doi.org/10.1101/lm.76904 Porges, S. W. (2017). The pocket guide to the polyvagal theory: The transformative power of feeling safe. W W Norton & Co. Scully, I. D., Napper, L. E., & Hupbach, A. (2017). Does reactivation trigger episodic memory change? A meta-analysis. Neurobiology of Learning and Memory, 142, 99-107. doi.org/10.1016/j.nlm.2016.12.012 Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). The Guilford Press. Stevens, F. L. (2019). Affect regulation and affect reconsolidation as organizing principles in psychotherapy. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 29(3), 277-290. van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking. Vervliet, B., Craske, M. G., & Hermans, D. (2013). Fear Extinction and Relapse: State of the Art. In Annual Review of Clinical Psychology (Vol. 9, Issue Volume 9, 2013, pp. 215-248). Annual Reviews. doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050212-185542 Vitale, E. M., & Smith, A. S. (2022). Neurobiology of Loneliness, Isolation, and Loss: Integrating Human and Animal Perspectives. Frontiers in behavioral neuroscience, 16, 846315. doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2022.846315 Wampold, B.E., & Imel, Z.E. (2015). The Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Psychotherapy Work (2nd ed.). Routledge. doi.org/10.4324/9780203582015

thank you so much for making ALL of your videos. i have been learning so much. i feel very understood and hopeful! i am surprised by the amount of subscribers you have (feels like it should be way more), these videos are genuinely life changing. i want them to be widespread broadcasted for everyone to hear! i have been on the tip of this ice berg for so long, it feels so good to have the dots connected (mostly, of course I have some personal digging to attend to, with the help of my therapist). i feel so validated and, again, hopeful that i can heal and have healthy relationships. know that these videos are helping transform and heal at least one person... and she is so grateful.

What if you don't have a memory of an event but you feel emotional pain for years, since your childhood?

I really enjoyed your video and I am so thankful for the information you provided in a very professional yet relatable way! I also really like that your sharing so much helpful information for free on a platform like UA-cam 💜 Quality professional therapy costs a lot of money and often times I think the people who need the most help cannot afford it - not to mention ruin the time it takes to get help. I look forward to future videos 🫶🏽

This is life transforming ❤

love this ❤

This was so valuable, thank you so much! ❤

This was so helpful, lots of unexpected and actionable advices! Your contents have already made a difference with how I show up in my relationships ❤

thanks for this video, you way of explaining things is great!❤❤❤

This was SO motivating. You spoke with so much kindness - my worth felt recognized ❤

Wow. Just got out of a counseling session and this was the topic. My therapist is a lovely person, however did not connect self worth to how we connect with others. This is the piece I was missing and needed to hear today. ❤

Beautiful ! I am worthy coz I Exist .Thanks for the reminder .💓✨☺️

Thank you. I'm glad I found your channel 🌙🤍

Thankyou for this series Really enjoying listening and understanding some of my behaviour ❤

Maslows Heirarchy of Needs is partially correct. Food, water, and shelter (aka, security) is a need. EVERYTHING else is a WANT. (However, I understand your meaning).