Відео

Had a sort of run-in with Chuck Norris back in the `80's. I was a technician at the Kitt Peak Solar Observatory, but got fired when the scientists thought I screwed around with the equipment. What happened was that the equipment recorded a ripple across the surface of the sun when it blinked during its staredown with Chuck Norris. However, I did manage to get back on my feet pretty quick; I got a gig as the intense therapy trauma counsellor for the Grim Reaper after his near-Chuck Norris experience.

Some of these have been mentioned 3 or 4 times

Chuck Norris can pull a magician out of a rabbit Chuck Norris has never been thrown through a building window. It’s the building that has tried to escape Chuck. How many push-ups can Chuck do? All of them There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck has allowed to survive

Chuck Norris can extract liters and gallons of sweat from mosquitoes, flies and ants

Scientists have finally discovered the cause for global warming. They suggest for cooling the world down, Chuck Norris should do the pushups at day time.

Chuck Norris scratches his back with a grizzly bear duct-taped to a lead pipe.

If Chuck Norris slaps you, your head will break the sound barrier as it separates from your shoulders.

After Chuck Norris was born, he drove his parents home the same night.

🪙

🤣😂🤣😅

these are just awful.

A blonde is asked on a dating questionnaire; How long was your last relationship? Her answer: About 10 inches.

As a blonde with pretty good intelligence, I find this very offensive and honestly cruel

Why doesn't this have a billion views!

McTavishes I think you’ll find it’s Mac Tavishes

Bob dylan V. V.

I use to like blonde jokes Untill they became politically correct.

I had no idea that Alexa was once a stand-up comic.

Wow great.. another thing to make me hate myself even more

How do you drown a blonde..... Just throw her in the pool....a blonde can't swim

Rude

computer generated voice, no thank you.

Scottish man English man and Irish man sitting in the pub . English chap said to the Scottish and Irish lad's.if you had a wish.what would you wish for ?.the Scottish man on the ball said to the English chap.what would you ask for.the English chap said if I had a wish ied wish for socttish people never again come into my land.then the Scottish man said if I had a wish.ied wish for a wall all around Scotland to keep the English out.the Irish man wished Scotlands walls would be filled with water.

This actually hurts

HORRIBLE

The only joke is the three guys are drinking Double Diamond and not Guinness.

Blonde lives matter!

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake, finds his way to a barstool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels..After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, > > "Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to the old blind cowboy says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five important things: 1 The bartender is a blond girl who's holding a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blond girl with a billy-club. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blond joke? The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "Well hell no, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

'Bogan' in Australia.

Not i want blondes 💩💩💩👎💩👎💩👎👎😠😡

Thank you, we'll let you know.

Thought it was going to be "daughter"....still funny tho.

Very very funny lol

Computer voice....I'm out.

She's not very good at telling jokes, could be better bent over the bar.

it's the way she tells em' (who's that)......comedy is finally dead.....computers doing the gags

0/10 THAT WAS CRINGEWORTHY

Cut he god-awful computer voice! I'd rather just read the joke!

yesterday

Oh Just bloody great. A friggin computer telling an I Irish joke.Come on for the love of Pete. My ancestors are turning in their graves.Get me off this friggin planet. Lord tunderin Jasus I just don't know.

Why are the Irish so" fighting mad"?After all these 100's of yrs they found out that the BLARNEY stone was a petrified polock's ass-hole,lol

It's the way you tell 'em and you didn't. Isn't y that right paddy???

Haha..good one.

That is pretty funny.

Why would anyone use a computer generated, character, inflection and comedy-free voice, to tell a fucking joke?

well well well!!!! still trying to crack irish jokes!!! eh? how about this one? the queen of England and other UK royalty shook hands with sinn Fein leaders just a year or 2 after the IRA'S killed royalty in the past remember 1979? now here is the biggest joke of all get ready for it !! here it comes Englishman David Icke calls the queen of England " shapeshifting reptile" !!! icke is not killing anyone nor does he advocate killing anyone but I betcha the queen "lizzie" or other royalty will NOT be shaking hands with him!!!! strange world isn't it !!! what a hoot!!! now you know I have made my point!!! (April 16-2017)time 6:09.59pm!

shite joke.A bit racist.

Fuck the computer voice jokes,not funny.

At last, an Irish joke on UA-cam that actually IS funny

Why oh why do you have to use a friggin computer to tell a joke (VERY BADLY). The punctuation ruined it!!