I'm so scared because my ex wife's mom would say I was a narcissist and I didn't know what that was. I had to leave the relationship because I didn't like the person I was turning into. Now I'm doing much better and I am scared of being a narcissist.
You should do a video of how the narcissist will react when you get sick. Recently had that experience, they made it all about themselves and what an inconvenience it was for them.
I got chronic illnesses and once almost died as I never wanted to tell my Narcissistic Mom and my enabler Dad that I am sick...now at 55, I am battling childhood trauma and chronic illness symptoms but at least now I know!!! Thanks to Dr Ramani and this community 🙏🏽
@@earthrooster1969 yes, we share the same (sad) lifestory... i am in nc anymore since i'm so very ill (not convenient for 'some' moms right...), 'knowing' indeed does a lot, it helps, i so HOPE soon my partner will realise, i doubt he ever will, he still goes visiting etc. It's scarey, hugs from Belgium
My parents never acknowledged how close to s**cide I came, how sick I got or even that I had an issue. To this day, they expect me to drop everything to come see them when they deign to remember me. Going no contact was one of my best decision ever. I hope you get to recover from that abuse❤
Yes!! I had a car accident and my narc couldn't be bothered to come over to check on me. Yet I was expected to give up everything to look after him at a moment's notice.
I recently cared for my 86 year old father while he had a near life ending emergency. He is a very bad enabler of my narc step mother, (76 years old.) They are complete toxicity together. They both had the hospital & eventually the nursing home in chaos. They yelled at everyone, including me. My step mother royally raked me over the coals in front of the hospital social worker. I didn’t say anything. She looked entirely abusive. I went into silent, shut down mode, & I’m grateful for that. She made a complete fool out of herself. It eventually became me that the health care personnel would call for updates and info. During this extremely stressful period, I began to shake. At home, out the blue, I would just shake. I have never experienced anything like this. I had been away from that scene for some time before his health scare. Apparently, it all affected me more than I knew and now, when I am home and safe, like an animal that escapes prey, I shake. It is horrible, inconvenient & disturbing side effect of that abuse. I now just let it happen and it’s slowly going away. (Trust me, I went through more than shaking when I was fully immersed in narc abuse. ) Remember, when you may have to go back in, your body remembers too.. If you start to shake, hopefully you’re at home safe, & just shake it out. These people wreak havoc on the nervous system too. I’m so glad I have a new life farther away. Even being submerged for a bit again, took its toll.. Peace to you all. I hope you can get out and stay out too.
I'm going through this right now, and I'm sick of it. They take no responsibility for themselves and keep ending up in the hospital. What's worse is the system itself and how crappy it's become. I'm over it. Thanks, Dr. Ramani for addressing this situation. It was very timely.
Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
No one sicker than them Paper cut and it is terminal cancer They are sicker with cold than a child in hospital very sick They tell strangers when out how sick they are Goes on and on Had mother and husband same decades of it
Yes!! My experience was I got emergency surgery to get my appendix removed. He left me at the hospital because he was “too sleepy”… When I got discharged (on Mother’s Day) he told me to make sure I was ready to get picked up because he was going to be late to the gym.. Literally the next week he sprains his ankle. I drove him to the hospital but the nurses wouldn’t let me in with him so I left for a quick drive to kill time. He was so dramatic and said he couldn’t believe I just left him there. Mind you, I was nearby..
Mine didn't remember a car hitting me and breaking my leg in my late teens, two surgeries and nearly a year on crutches. Nor, conveniently does he remember my compensation paying of his mortgage years later when the bailiffs were knocking. You really cant make this s**t up. x
Thank you for this. I’m fortunate to be too sick myself to offer any help to the narcissist in my life. Illness is protecting me from jumping back in to save the day. Your videos are reassuring and comforting, many thanks 🙏
Usally when I get in a fight with my partner he storms off slamming doors and then suddenly has a really bad back pain or is sick and lays in bed for days. And is full on in victim mode and how dare i even trying to bring up the fight. And making me fell guilty for his pain. Which probably just started with me trying to set boundaries .It’s hard for me to understand how I could truely believe him for so long and then take care of his needs. And completely lose the threat of the fight and never get any results or resolutions.( me just realising , of course you would loose the threat if a person stays in bed for 5 days and turturing you with silence or feeling sorry for them self behaviour after 5 days of it one is sooo fricken just happy if the person comes out of that) It’s amazing that it can take 10 years to understand that all of this is not normal and totally not okay and that it’s not all my fault
This could not have come at a better time. I am currently caring for my sick mother. It is very much hellish constantly enduring her comments and just to name a few of the things she said: "you don't deserve to live", "you should be the one dying, not me", "if I have to die I will take you down with me" "piece of shit" I made the mistake of allowing her to come to my home, after she promised while being hospitalized that she would behave well... Of course I was too vulnerable when I believed things could be different now. It is like reliving the abusive childhood, the yelling the cussing the rage outbursts and banging doors and everything needs to be done as she wishes and her triangulating speaking ill of me to anyone and everyone. And the fact that out of the whole family (she has sisters, a brother, another daughter) nobody else was willing or offered to give her a room at THEIR house. I can already feel this physically taking a toll on me. And don't know how much longer I will endure this.
Tell her she needs time at a respite care home. We have that service in Australia. Take respite whenever you can, ie. Go out as much as possible & if she's like my mother when I cared for her, she will hate your guts, spread lies that she's being abused by you & someone will come in to save her ... That's when you walk away, walk til you run my friend 💞 Btw, I never left her alone as my adult son was home & she had support carers & family up the road ... And yet, I was the abusive & neglectful one apparently for needing some time to myself. I feel for my siblings who took over the role, thinking I'd be back for more, but I didn't return. They all thought I was overacting & ignored any psychology knowledge I had.
I experienced this. This is a very valuable video. It's very confusing, you can't do enough, when you set boundaries no one understands.... you're put into the adversary position and that's the last place you want to be, and the only one that protects you... The guilt and shame are immense even with validation from others. You can't, and shouldn't do it all. I wish i had an answer -- you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Just believe you'll be stronger on the other side, and give yourself time to heal.
My mother's pregnancy with me kicked off a lifelong chronic illness. From the time I was small, she used her illness as an excuse to be cruel. I learned to think of her as a wounded animal lashing out in fear, and I tried so hard to take care of her, even when I was much too small for that responsibility. I spent my whole life being reminded that her suffering was a result of my existence.
I’m taking care of one that has dementia. It’s unreal. The frowning on his face. He fights me like a WWE wrestler. It’s like he’s trying to hurt me? I can’t feel sorry for him anymore.
My narc mother is 92. No contact with her since 2013. I know she is probably absolutely impossible to those around her. I will never break no contact. I don't deserve that stuff. I have no guilt
My mother in-law was always dying all the time for 30 years and going to the ER every week, her golden child daughter always called everybody else in the family saying "Moma's dying, Moma's dying every week. My husband is so dumb that he would drop everything and take off running to the ER every week, his brothers would too. If they had ever worked for anyone else or a company they all would of had problems holding down any job. They all had small flunky businesses, (painting and construction )but this always made it hard to pay bills. She caused them not to provide properly for their own household and families. Finally somebody at the hospital had enough sense to tell her and the golden child daughter to stop it.By the way, the father never went to the ER for his wife, they were in competition together for attention so he definitely didn't go. Sometimes the younger daughter didn't go either. When she really did die, he showed her up at her funeral. He and golden child daughter didn't attend, they had him put in hospital dead at the time of her funeral for pneumonia and had us all running ourselves to death in different directions, funeral, graveyard and hospital, rough for us all, especially family from out of town. Was
UGH! I know someone like this. Every time someone in their family gets sick, she gets sick. I'm talking serious illness...not the common cold. If someone in the family gets cancer, all of a sudden she has some major problem with her stomach or her back and needs help. She just can't stand for someone else to get more attention. She needs so much attention. An exhausting person to deal with.
@ My mother was the worst. After a radical hysterectomy I had she claimed she had the same problems!. She committed suicide. Narcissists are unbearable.
My mother in law is convinced that if she gets sick we will leave our jobs, relocate, move into her house and care for her. She will be getting a shock 😊
My kids father had a stroke. The drs diagnosis is he is fully recovered. But he can hardly lift his feet, until a pretty girl walks past ,he can really cover ground to catch up with her! I pity the woman who lives with him now. 😂
Just remembering my Mom awhile ago, beaming and smiling in the nursing home once she came out of the worst... enjoying the attention of pouring visitors, nurses, doctors...she literally felt the world may not function till she got better... Slowly she has lowered her standards as she ages further but will hold onto ANY power and supply she can get her hands on...
@@jenniferwaidelich642 As victims of narcissists we all have to learn NOT to answer, NOT to react, but observe and KNOWING who we observe. The sound of silence is louder than words.
I am right here.... Confused. I am caregiving another, as well as nursing myself to health. My health is never talked about, I do get my needs met and ask for support as needed, but it is the person I am caregiving for (family member) who absolutely doesnt even ask if I am okay. Drops in as they feel, and I have to clean up after them, and cook and serve them food. While they are not even that sick. I feel there is a lot of anger and guilt and shame that is surfacing and I feel even more guilt when I have to place a boundary or say no.
My supposedly best friend didn't show up or care when I had serious health issue a few years ago. When I told her I would have to undergo anesthesia and procedure that really scared me (first time ever in my life), she acted like I was making a fuss about nothing and worrying without a reason. It was like I told her I was going to get some milk at the supermarket. In comparison, when she had even the slightest minor health issue, I would have to listen to her complaining about it for hours and offer a shoulder to lean on. I realised she was in a sort of competition of "my health problems are more serious and yours are meaningless". Really twisted. Although this period of my life was hard (I'm better now) it opened my eyes and let me see the true nature of this person, who was in fact never my friend. I cut ties with her and don't regret it a bit.
I feel like you just zipped open my life, looked inside and wrote about it. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years, and yes when he got sick 2 years ago it went from bad bad bad, to so much worse. I’ve managed to step back, get counselling and watch your and Dr. Carters videos. Thank you for posting these, because I was in such a dark, confused place before I understood who and what I’m dealing with. I am getting stronger, and I’m so thankful for your work.
Omg, that was the end game for us. My narc sister got sick, and she’d say things like “you could never handle what I’m going through” or “you’ve never experienced this much pain” (I drove myself to the hospital in labor, but I digress). Her expectations of the people trying to help her weren’t even reasonable. It’s like she wouldn’t be happy unless you set your own life on fire, and it STILL wouldn’t be enough. It was how we ended up no contact.
I'm retired at 38, went from Grass to Grace. This video here reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, honest wife, $65k biweekly and a good daughter full of love🤍🤍
I raised 305k and Mildred Evelyn Rooney is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car a just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Mildred Evelyn Rooney is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note!: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!
I've always wanted to be involved for a long time but the volatility in the price has been very confusing to me. Although I have watched a lot of UA-cam videos about it but I still find it hard to understand
I remember after surgery recovering at home that my mom would ignore what I'd say and she'd cause more pain. But when she was recovering I had to be super gentle with her.
The husband dangles the inheritance of his house that is solely in his name, although I paid all the debt off on it, supported him for the last 25 years, and continue to see to his doctor appointments, medication, housework, and morning & evening meals. He is threatening to disinherit me if I don't quit my job and stay at home and care for him full-time. Well, i told him if I have to quit, there will be no reason to stay anymore. And then he will have no one.
Yeah, I mean, how dare I ask where the pommade was hidden after I got severely burnt by hot oil out of the oven .. I had to search 3 cabinets on 2 different floors before I gave up and went to buy my own. At which point she "remembered" where she'd "stored" it.
Succinct and spot on. My father told me my mother was ill and having emergency surgery because it was my fault, I was 10. By 15 they both blamed me. I became very ill, it's stolen my life away and it's minimised, dismissed, I'm name called, guilted and shamed. Woke me up at the worst possible time. Now I see how self centred they both are and that I was just utile. Things they've said I'd not say to anyone. Narcissists have zero patience, cannot be kind or compassionate or love.
I caught a small glimpse of this when my narc-mother had some heart issues. I am not doing that in her oncoming aging diseases. She will not listen, and I am not going to fight her. I let her go. She will age and decline and pass away on her own, without me.
I've experienced that contempt. When they are in horrible pain you are their dedicated advocate, not to leave their side. After surgery and 5 month restrictions he became enraged with the restrictions. I had 4 teenagers still in the home. After the death glare I went and purchased him the do it all yourself kits and joined the others and was out of his hair.
When the narcissist gets sick, even if it’s not serious, they still make everything has to revolve around them. They act like it’s the end of the world, demanding constant attention, while dismissing everyone else’s needs. And when you get sick, they be saying that you can handle it on your own.
My narc mother never got sicker than when she learned someone else was terribly ill or especially dying! She would take to the sofa so sick she could hardly walk. I saw her run to the bathroom while sticking a finger down her throat so she would vomit as soon as she knew there was someone watching. Especially when we got word my dad was dying. She was so angry.
Growing up I had to hide any sickness. It was belittled. Except the time when we were staying with relatives, then there was an audience. My life was one of convenience for my viper narcissist mother. 😢
Thank you for this - my narc is old/sick, and she needs help. Sadly, she's gotten she's I lying gotten more selfish in her illness than she was before. It's exhausting and so hard. I feel like an awful person, but I can't help but think how relieved I'll be when she dies - realistically, that's the only way out of narc hell for me.
They ignore us when we aren’t well, that’s IF we bother to even tell them as they always invalidate us, but when they have something wrong with them, even a back twinge, we never hear the last of it. Then, if we do say something about our own health issues they suddenly get angry like we are comparing, when in fact, we have waited for this very chance to say something about ourselves for once. If we don’t show the support that THEY expect us to, then we aren’t understanding in their eyes. They just don’t get their behaviour is abusive and toxic and that we have given up caring like we used to 🤦🏼♀️ It’s all about THEM every time.
I was told I was mean, because I returned the years of ignoring my health issues and needs, and leaving me with no groceries, let alone being able to drive to get anything (Pre delivery services). They day of my follow up, he left to go get his patches put on his uniform. I had to drive myself. I had a surgery, that I had to stay in the hospital for 2 days for recovery. Upon check out, he didn't go and pick up my meds. I didn't know I had these meds because ya know, I was high on pain meds when we left the hospital. He "got sick" a few weeks later and walked around, hunched over, for a week, the constant pain sounds and drama, trying to bait me. When I didn't, he was upright and moving just fine. ;)
It took me my whole life up until this point, to realize that my Mother was an enabler of my nac father. She sacrificed her children to the wolf to save herself from the abuse. She thought I was crazy for going no contact. When she's the only one left in that house and gets picked as the narcissistic supply, I don't want her to come crawling to me telling me I was right about him.
I remember my psychopathic father got mean when he was sick. We would just leave him alone. When he had the onset of dementia. Being I had started my studies in narcissism. He got sloppy he became a malignant narcissist. He about destroyed all my relationships and even tried my therapist. Which my therapist was also educated on criminal psychology. Dad lost with him and told everyone what a loser my therapist was. Dad starved himself to death and quit his pills. I really believe he did this in fear of exposure- dementia like I said made his narc game sloppy. Oh I forgot I wasn’t allowed to be sick over any to long of a time. My sickness was on his time. He told everyone my mold illness was in my head. It took me three years to rid my self against it using non conventional medicine. Btw most my family realizes mold illness is real now. Dad’s been dead 7 years now. Thank goodness!
I apologize if this is annoying, and if you don't want to get into it,I understand....but can I ask you what your symptoms of mold illness were? I highly suspect that something in my apartment is making me sick.
@ mold does imitate other illnesses. Depends on how strong the mold is and how long you been in it. I’m allergic I’m called a mold canary. In the beginning it attacked my skin and sinuses. That’s how it gets into your body. Mycotoxins mold spores attack your immune cells. You can see if you have an active immune cell going on in your body and test for mycotoxins. I had hair loss, parasites, sores of which the doctor only took pictures of. Bone problems- nose bleeds- you can’t clean the mold you have to replace the water damage area. Even dead mycotoxins are active . Good luck the medical field and most molds clean ups got no idea what they are dealing with. It’s about like explaining a narcissist to someone. Good luck hope you can clean up that mold or get away from it!!
Thank you so much for touching this topic. I have been severely traumatized by my dad having cancer and doing all these things you mentioned. I didn’t know I could be so traumatized by a parent as an adult. Last year 2023 my dad decided to “fast the Stage 1 cancer away” (refusing any treatment) and pretty much shunned me when I wouldn’t let him move in to my studio apartment with me so I could “monitor him if he passed out”.He of course told EVERY stranger he happened upon that he had cancer. As a 6ft man he atrophied to about 120lb. And this year has been diagnosed terminal. These situations suck because I know he’s gonna pass, but I hate him for choosing this and being so egotistical about his health. It’s like abandonment,…with a twist. You wouldn’t believe how hard it’s been so I’m so glad to be able to return to this video when I’m invalidating myself on top on my grief. Thank you so much❤❤
this is so spot-on, as always. when i was with my ex, he would constantly downplay my chronic illness, but if he got a simple cold everyone was supposed to drop everything and care for him. this behavior was even present with mental illnesses too, he would compare very different issues each of us had and every time his was “so much worse”.. i would be dealing with health issues and feel the need to mask it for his comfort, so that i wouldn’t be berated and undermined. he would also use and swear by home remedies that weren’t proven to work, like he had all the answers everyone didn’t. so often when i would talk about my symptoms, he would push these concoctions on me and encourage me to “treat” things at home because “doctors only want money”..
My narcissistic ex has a great immune system. This leads him to overestimate how good the immune systems of others are and selfishly bring his child along to family gatherings when the child is sick.
My mother in-law was always dying this went on fo 30 years.It got to where every week, she went to ER and the golden child daughter always called everybody saying "Moma's dying, Moma's dying. " My husband is so dumb that he would drop everything and take off running to the ER. His brothers did the same. If they hadn't had small flunky businesses they wouldn't of been able to hold down jobs at all,nobody would of tolerated them being out of work every week. The father was in competition for attention with the mother so he never went,the younger daughter sometimes didn't either. This made it hard for us to pay bills. When she actually did die, the father showed her up at her funeral, he had a Dr's appointment at the same time and went to hospital at the same time, golden child daughter took him,as quick as one was dead she started sucking up to the other.They rest of us had to run in all directions, funeral, graveyard and hospital, it was really rough for those who were from out of town.
Oh man, Dr. Ramani, you nailed it again! Yes, they don't think any physical ailment will ever befall them. And they love to blame a person who does get sick...or fat (God forbid!)...on their own laziness and lack of self-discipline.....or "they just didn't take care of themselves". And none of those things will ever happen to them because "I take good care of myself!" They're like a bunch of spoiled brats who probably have the self-talk of "OMG What will I do if I can't look good?! Life will be over and not worth living anymore". Oh, boo hoo. Karma is going to be a bigger b*tch to them than anyone else could ever be.
I've had multiple fairly serious health issues for years, and have been struggling with pain and other very debilitating symptoms. It's shocking how little empathy I get. I remember at one point, when I was groaning in pain, being told to 'keep it down' because the narcissist was trying to watch TV. But the second he gets a cold, or any minor injury I get a constant litany of just how unimaginable his agony is. Even when he's feeling better and fully healed, he will not shut up about how awful the illness was!! Meanwhile I'm still dealing with all my issues, and zero empathy. I honestly find it amazing that anyone could be so awful, and seemingly totally un-self-aware of it.
Ironically, I used to actually feel better when the narcissist next to me was sick. Because this made it psychologically easier for me to accept abuse and humiliation, knowing the person feels physically miserable, while I am healthy. Yeah, I know this is ludicrous…
My husband had a stroke this summer. Due to his many years of untreated high blood pressure (those machines aren’t accurate!) 🙄, sedentary lifestyle, 3-4 energy drinks a day, and half a dozen donuts for breakfast.He’s only 45. He needed emergency brain surgery. Two days on a ventilator in ICU. His words when he woke up? “Go get me a monster” He just treated the whole thing like it was no big deal. He’s got a cool story to tell, a cool scar. He loved all the attention. 17 days in the hospital. He was so rude to the staff. He still can’t work. Thinks the doctors won’t let him go back “ for no reason” Our entire lives have been upended. And he just couldn’t care less. I had planned to leave. But I didn’t do it soon enough. And now I’m stuck.
What I've noticed is that some narcissist's live to a ripe old age while their partner's wither away from the chronic stress of trying to deal with them. When the narcissist does get sick or injured they will moan and groan and let everyone know about it they will get their narc supply one way or another.
Dr. Ramani, I’ve been living with a narcissistic partner, and your talks have been life-changing. In just a month, your videos have brought me so much healing and reassurance. Thank you for your invaluable guidance and the right outlook.
In a way you are protecting others when you protect yourself. Look out for number one or you'll step in number two. We have the ability to learn from other people's mistakes. Physical, Mental and Spiritual health should be your number one priority in life. It's wrong to neglect yourself in any way. When your alone you have to take the necessary care you need to stay healthy. It's your own personal responsibility to seek out help if you can't handle whatever life burdens you may encounter. Your your number one responsibility and you should be your number one priority. What good would you be to anyone else if you neglected yourself?
This hits home. The ex worked for health department with the state, so everytime somebody had cancer she expected them to come to her for advice and was upset when they didn't. Second thing was when she would complain about aches and pains after sitting on couch all day since she was able to work remotely a few days a week and needed a massage from me. I work construction and would get little sympathy if I was hurting and in pain.
My narcissistic parent was a nurse. She used to threaten me because I had a low pain tolerance. “What are you going to do when you’re in severe pain like an auto accident?” Isn’t pain tolerance something you’re born with? Shouldn’t a nurse know this?
An aunt was open to talking about her health conditions. When I had a TBI, she was minimizing and bothered that I was still mentioning it... when she had asked how I was. She only asked how I was, after I asked how she was. I do think I probably didn't share with some supportive friends much about what I've experienced after the last TBI because I've had this feeling like I was wrong.
In my observation, narcs have A LOT of accidents. Because, they think they're invincible or something. Like, work two full time eight hour jobs and think you won't fall asleep at the wheel etc.
We are older, she took a fall at 66yo.. should be recovered, docs see nothing wrong now, but she plays the pity routine daily to manipulate. Hard to know what is real and what is not... and she plays it to the hilt, even with the Doctors !
When the narcissist gets sick, they will expect you to drop everything for them. If you get sick, they will play the victim even while you’re sick. They will act like they’re even sicker than you.
This right here, everything about it is so true and especially true to me. I would tell my narc that he shouldn't go to the gym because he had covid and he threw the biggest rages and said "they'll be aight" I implored him and reminded him that these people also have families and elders and jobs that can be severely affected by covid and he said , so I'm supposed to just not workout, what about me?? We have a whole gym in our storage.
OMG Dr Ramani, you are right on my life. I unfortunately was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, ( i never smoked but my ex did, heavy smoker) I couldnt understand during all my tests, he said youd better be REALLY SICK, this is csting a lot...... He verbally told my beautiful surgeon , and dont look at me because i smoke, etc, i was SO Embarrassed. He visited me once in hospital, because he said he was too busy, and i had visitirs anyway..... Yes thats probably when he met his New supply...... fixing her keyboard, he did in home computer services. On Discharge i was left Alone at home, it was a horrible recovery . I wish i new about Narcissistic abuse years ago. Bless you Dr Ramani
When they stand right next to you and talk while being sick and when you back away from them they say, "what?" and roll their eyes as though it's unreasonable to want to protect myself. I remember when Covid happened. He had not a care in the world about protecting himself from getting sick or protecting others from getting sick. He thought he knew better and more than everyone else. I was just waiting for our whole family to be taken down. And back when nobody knew what would happen, I felt so unprotected and terrified.
My husband died from cancer 5 years ago, I had planned to leave that year, but when he was diagnosed I felt that you just couldn’t leave someone at their worst, his treatment of me got worse and he refused to believe he was terminal. He hadn’t been physically abusive until this point. That changed. When he was at his sickest he expected me to sleep on the floor next to his hospital bed so that I was on call 24/7, I was the carer after all he told his Oncologist, Drs and nurses. He was so so angry he was dying he cancelled his life insurance and gambled our retirement fund away so that the kids and I were left with nothing but debt. I feel terribly sorry for anyone who has to go through this with a narcissist. He even yelled at me saying why was I not the one dying, he had more to offer the world than me so it wasn’t fair. The last month was the only reprieve I had as the Drs saw his treatment of me and wouldn’t let him go home from hospital, so his abuse then went to staff, even the people bringing his food didn’t miss out and were yelled at. He was an awful person, and although I wouldn’t wish that on anyone he treated everyone like dirt, and sometimes you get what you put out.
Yup! My Mom has resurrected from multiple strokes, brought the house down over the couple of years, Dad went crazy looking after her every second of every day and night, has withered away and my Mom has since recovered and getting back to her 'invincible' persona once again... Listened to other videos, including Dr Ramani's where it's clearly says narcissist people live longer and longer...
Dr.Ramani could you please do a video on dealing with the physical ailments after you finally leave a horrific narcissistic abusive relationship. Thank you for everything you do. ❤
You mean when they are sick on Thanksgiving, and I have to cook everything myself and they complain about how long it takes, and then when I say they slept all day and didn't help because they were sleeping all day but it had nothing to do with them getting into an argument with everyone!
Some years ago, my narc ex, my baby at the time, and myself were moving back to our home state in hopes my covert narc ex could keep a job out there instead of wild, hard Texas. Well, of course my narcissistic family of origin should have been waiting for us to arrive. The night we were to arrive, my mother’s narc husband “had a heart attack” . Well I, the mother of a one year old who had just been driven cross country who also was a parent to her Covert narc father did not feel the need to go visit a man who didn’t have it in him to support me when I needed it or even have a respectful word to say ever in the hospital. I found it all too convenient. I was in the state for less than a month and never saw my mother or her husband. Why? Because i didn’t go see him in the hospital 😂 one out of six children went to visit him, the golden child. Of course, none of the children with backbones have spoken to him since
my narc brought me a book on turmeric for my depression, and said 'the guy at the store said it was good!'; because I couldn't possibly know how to treat myself, no way, nuh-uh!!
My narcissistic father's lack of empathy when he's sick is what pushed me over the edge and lead me to moving out. I was so worried about him because he had went to the hospital for two days, and when he got home he treated me like garbage. I decided I had had enough and finally gained the courage to leave. Best decision I've ever made. The healing process is tough, but it's way better than living a lie.
Good grief- he had a routine surgery, which I understand was painful and required a recovery time, but the world had to stop to focus on his every twinge. He refused to lift a finger, and demanded everyone cater to him for 3 months. His pain level was at 10+, until the day it wasn't, when he got bored with himself and wanted to have fun again.
DoctorRamani , I just want to thank you for sharing your knowledge and content with the world 🌎 Isn’t it ironic that we wouldn’t be the powerful,caring,empathetic people most of us are, if we didn’t endure this hell over a lifetime? The curse that became a blessing ❤
My covert narcissistic grandmother tried to blame me for her almost dying from dehydration as a side effect of her cancer diagnosis. She refused to seek earlier treatment when I tried to encourage her to see about a persistent cough, and I tried my best to take care of her while she was at home struggling to swallow and keep food down. I’m going no contact with her next year after I move out of her house.
Thank you Dr Ramani. Always fascinating (often for the wrong reasons)! In my family of three siblings, one parent, one siblings and nephew in-law work in the family business. Interestingly enough that parent, sibling and sibling's children are all on medication to level out their anxiety. I don't really remember the parent who displays NPD traits every getting sick, but as you see the immediate environment has issues!
Dr Ramani, have you met the two ex narcissistic partners of mine? I can't believe how well you have described them both, as two sick men. I saw through it in the end and feel sorry for anyone else who has to step in to help. Im a deeply compassionate person so it's been hard to leave, but i now understand that the entitlement and expectations are ridiculous and their toxicity is impossible to deal with. Thank you for making me feel better about myself.
My kids father has had a back issue for a year now. He doesn’t work for that main reason so he can’t pay child support, he can’t pay his bills or his mom rent. Recently I let him come over to watch our kids while I’m at work. All I asked is that he cleans up after himself. Not even our kids. Just himself. Respect my house rules which are simple. No going in my room. Clean up after himself. He can help himself to anything in my kitchen as long as he washes his hands and uses a cup to drink out of any container since he has a bad habit of drinking out of the carton. He broke ALL those rules. Intentionally and would say I’m “too much” or that I’m “mean” if I try to enforce my boundaries. I was okay with the gaslighting because I wasn’t being affected by it as much but one night I went into the bathroom and there was throw up residue on my sink, pee and p**p on my toilet and I said enough is enough. I sat down and told him I’m not his maid, all I asked is that he clean up after himself and that includes his bodily fluids and solids. He said his back hurt a lot but that he’ll do it. He just smeared it with a rag and I said okay you know what, I’ll do it, but you need to see a dr, your back issue is so bad, I can’t keep seeing you struggle to clean up after yourself at this point. This is serious. He said… “when we were together, you never bothered to make dr appointments for me, now that we’re not together, why do you care, it’s your fault that I wasn’t seeing a dr back then so it’s too late now, it is what it is, I’ll deal with the consequences, all you had to do was help me make appointments but you couldn’t even do that. Now you care that I’m worse?”…. This narcissistic ass demon really tried to blame me somehow for him having a bad back… and me telling him his back issue was worrisome… if that’s not a narcissist, then I call it a demon.
The world is ending when they get sick. Their illness is worse than anyone experienced. And you must care for them. Oh but when you get sick you are such a burden.
Years ago, I hosted a breakfast at a local diner for a visiting relative. About 20 relatives gathered. My father was living in another part of the country. A relative decided to call him so he could say hello to everyone. They passed their cell around. I heard people respond to him telling them about his aches and pains (for which he would not seek any type of medical treatment). He did that over and over. Each person would do the....oh, I am so sorry, oh no. He was oblivious to the point of the gathering. I passed on having a conversation with him.
My mom would schedule doctor appointments at specific times that I would have to take off work to get her to the appointment. But then she would cancel the appointment the morning of the appointment and not tell me until I arrived home early from work to take her to the appointment. She would hide perscriptions so that I couldn't fill them, but when her condition worsened my siblngs would blame me for not filling the scripts. Her deceitful ways kept everyone from getting on the same page about her health condition until I moved her to my brother's home for his wife and him to take care of...... when she passed away he told me he had realized how bitter and hateful she was when she lived with him. He saw a side of her he had never seen before.
I had this experience with a narcissistic teen with other cluster B personality disorder diagnosis. It was a nightmare. I know that children aren’t usually diagnosed with npd but it was so pronounced that the psych docs explained that the only reason my child didn’t have that diagnosis is because of age. After dealing with the manipulative overdoses and suicide attempts, physical attacks, lies, humiliation, and a case with CPS that was dismissed, my child turned 18 and decided to move away to live with their narcissistic father who promised them the world so he didn’t have to pay child support (my child was deemed disabled so support was extended). Honestly I am worried but also relieved. It’s been a really hard road but now they have each-other. And yes, it’s not working out well.
Ummm the biggest baby on the planet who wants everything short of wiping their rear done for them, Me when I get sick he disappears. I can tell you an epiphany came to me after years of this dynamic! I’m petrified to grow old with him!
My narcissistic dying father told me that I should get a partner so I could count on someone to take care of me whenever I needed. So cold and calculated. I want a partner I can emitionally connect with but that was way too far from his comprehension. Also, my grandmother used to tell me when I was a child that I was to take care of her when she would get old. Looking back, I realize how innapropriate those words were.
My son's mom lied about having heart problems for a couple years until I caught on. It makes me feel stupid for believing it, but who lies about having heart surgery numerous times. She would legit be in the hospital for a week, but it was only to detox from severe alcoholism. I started to be suspicious when then continuously weren't adding up. One day she had her shirt off, she never had her shirt off. There was no scar, so I confronted her & asked her where her scar was from multiple surgeries. She got angry, left the room, scratched her breast & returned to show me. It was so bizarre. I spent years trying to help her on her feet. She never got better, & all the kind things I did to help got disregarded. Instead, i was the one who wronged her when I ended up having to take my newborn son from her because she couldn't stay sober. She was acting strange one day so I came home from work early. She was passed out with him in her arms, & he was about to fall out of her arms onto the floor. She was beyond intoxicated & my son's eyes were glazed over. I grabbed him, she woke up and started screaming and hitting me with him in my arms. I nudged her out the bedroom door, locked it, & she kicked broke the door. He was only wearing a diaper & it was winter, so I wrapped him in a blanket & rushed him out my truck. She ran up to me, grabbed the blanket, & pulled as hard as she could. She pulled and pulled until she fell on the ground. I got him in my truck. Locked the door, & called 911. Meanwhile her screaming and beating on the glass above his head. They showed up, & took her to the insane asylum. Then she convinced a lot of people I was the one in the wrong, & that I was the one that was abusive. She also blamed "post partum." I believe post partum is a legitimate thing as well and addiction. Yet, the extent of her lies and manipulation is beyond it being an excuse. I've had my son since he was a few months old. She has not seen him in person since he was about 10 months old. She still plays the victim to this day and makes out to be the bad person. Says I'm keeping our son away from her, & she's right. She doesn't need to be around him until she's stable. It would only be hard on him if she was in and out of her life and it would only give her more leverage to manipulate him back into her life. It's not even about him, it's all about her image being scarred for not having her son in her life. I legitimately don't think she cares about having him in her life, other than for her own gain.
Well, huh… old age for sure from the age of 70 to the age of 84. I’m 84 he’s 86. One year out of his ‘situation’ Now in a Nursing home. This blurb was very very very, very helpful now I’m really going to Texas for three weeks with a really gay heart in ten days as soon as I get my own set of dentures. Mine first! He’s been refusing his so now he doesn’t get them. I get them. Yay. I can’t believe it. It’s so interesting. Really interesting. . . Can you believe it? This whole trip with you during these last three years has been a galloping win for the contest of life, for me, thanks for carrying on, but you need a vacation too maybe. So you can continue to carry on. I don’t know, but if you do, please make sure to take it.
It’s easier to avoid narcissists entirely. However, since we all have them as a spouse, siblings, co-workers, bosses, or friends, knowing how to set boundaries with a narcissist is the best decision. That way, you can relate without being affected by their self-centered attitude. So, Here is a Way To Set Boundaries With Narcissists.
"Fountain_cybersecurity"(l’ G’) is out there providing discreetly support and helping you with certainty to navigate through difficult situations with narcissist. always waiting to help.
They take your caregiving for granted. 😮
That’s an understatement. They don’t see it as a good will, they see it as your duty.
It's a means to an end to them, attention
I'm so scared because my ex wife's mom would say I was a narcissist and I didn't know what that was. I had to leave the relationship because I didn't like the person I was turning into. Now I'm doing much better and I am scared of being a narcissist.
My ex stepfather remarried. But, before this I went no contact. It's over to her now. I had a lifetime of him 😢
They sure do! And time after time. Then when you say "no", it's "I would do it for you!" when they are ad nauseum only on the receiving side of help.
You should do a video of how the narcissist will react when you get sick. Recently had that experience, they made it all about themselves and what an inconvenience it was for them.
I got chronic illnesses and once almost died as I never wanted to tell my Narcissistic Mom and my enabler Dad that I am sick...now at 55, I am battling childhood trauma and chronic illness symptoms but at least now I know!!!
Thanks to Dr Ramani and this community 🙏🏽
@@earthrooster1969 yes, we share the same (sad) lifestory... i am in nc anymore since i'm so very ill (not convenient for 'some' moms right...), 'knowing' indeed does a lot, it helps, i so HOPE soon my partner will realise, i doubt he ever will, he still goes visiting etc. It's scarey, hugs from Belgium
My parents never acknowledged how close to s**cide I came, how sick I got or even that I had an issue. To this day, they expect me to drop everything to come see them when they deign to remember me. Going no contact was one of my best decision ever.
I hope you get to recover from that abuse❤
Yes!! I had a car accident and my narc couldn't be bothered to come over to check on me. Yet I was expected to give up everything to look after him at a moment's notice.
This is my situation. It's tough to wake up to who they are when you're going through so much. ✌
I recently cared for my 86 year old father while he had a near life ending emergency. He is a very bad enabler of my narc step mother, (76 years old.) They are complete toxicity together.
They both had the hospital & eventually the nursing home in chaos.
They yelled at everyone, including me.
My step mother royally raked me over the coals in front of the hospital social worker. I didn’t say anything. She looked entirely abusive.
I went into silent, shut down mode, & I’m grateful for that.
She made a complete fool out of herself.
It eventually became me that the health care personnel would call for updates and info.
During this extremely stressful period, I began to shake. At home, out the blue, I would just shake. I have never experienced anything like this. I had been away from that scene for some time before his health scare.
Apparently, it all affected me more than I knew and now, when I am home and safe, like an animal that escapes prey, I shake.
It is horrible, inconvenient & disturbing side effect of that abuse.
I now just let it happen and it’s slowly going away.
(Trust me, I went through more than shaking when I was fully immersed in narc abuse. )
Remember, when you may have to go back in, your body remembers too..
If you start to shake, hopefully you’re at home safe, & just shake it out.
These people wreak havoc on the nervous system too.
I’m so glad I have a new life farther away. Even being submerged for a bit again, took its toll..
Peace to you all.
I hope you can get out and stay out too.
I'm going through this right now, and I'm sick of it. They take no responsibility for themselves and keep ending up in the hospital. What's worse is the system itself and how crappy it's become. I'm over it. Thanks, Dr. Ramani for addressing this situation. It was very timely.
Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Full Adult Toddler Experience!!!
F.A.T.E.? 😢
No one sicker than them Paper cut and it is terminal cancer They are sicker with cold than a child in hospital very sick They tell strangers when out how sick they are Goes on and on Had mother and husband same decades of it
@@JAYSONGS 👍👍
@@sparkygump Perfect description
Ironically while being demanding about their needs they also tell everyone how they want to be left alone while ill 🙄🥴
Yes!! My experience was I got emergency surgery to get my appendix removed. He left me at the hospital because he was “too sleepy”… When I got discharged (on Mother’s Day) he told me to make sure I was ready to get picked up because he was going to be late to the gym..
Literally the next week he sprains his ankle. I drove him to the hospital but the nurses wouldn’t let me in with him so I left for a quick drive to kill time. He was so dramatic and said he couldn’t believe I just left him there. Mind you, I was nearby..
Mine didn't remember a car hitting me and breaking my leg in my late teens, two surgeries and nearly a year on crutches. Nor, conveniently does he remember my compensation paying of his mortgage years later when the bailiffs were knocking. You really cant make this s**t up. x
Thank you for this. I’m fortunate to be too sick myself to offer any help to the narcissist in my life. Illness is protecting me from jumping back in to save the day. Your videos are reassuring and comforting, many thanks 🙏
The narcissist has the ability to be sick on demand. Especially when they want to avoid responsibilities. 😂😂
Then their karma makes them sick for real.😂😂.
@budayjerang2195 wild wild facts 🤣
Usally when I get in a fight with my partner he storms off slamming doors and then suddenly has a really bad back pain or is sick and lays in bed for days. And is full on in victim mode and how dare i even trying to bring up the fight. And making me fell guilty for his pain.
Which probably just started with me trying to set boundaries .It’s hard for me to understand how I could truely believe him for so long and then take care of his needs. And completely lose the threat of the fight and never get any results or resolutions.( me just realising , of course you would loose the threat if a person stays in bed for 5 days and turturing you with silence or feeling sorry for them self behaviour after 5 days of it one is sooo fricken just happy if the person comes out of that) It’s amazing that it can take 10 years to understand that all of this is not normal and totally not okay and that it’s not all my fault
@@Handle-m4n Partner? Sounds more like a liability.
Facts
This could not have come at a better time. I am currently caring for my sick mother. It is very much hellish constantly enduring her comments and just to name a few of the things she said: "you don't deserve to live", "you should be the one dying, not me", "if I have to die I will take you down with me" "piece of shit" I made the mistake of allowing her to come to my home, after she promised while being hospitalized that she would behave well... Of course I was too vulnerable when I believed things could be different now. It is like reliving the abusive childhood, the yelling the cussing the rage outbursts and banging doors and everything needs to be done as she wishes and her triangulating speaking ill of me to anyone and everyone. And the fact that out of the whole family (she has sisters, a brother, another daughter) nobody else was willing or offered to give her a room at THEIR house. I can already feel this physically taking a toll on me. And don't know how much longer I will endure this.
Tell her she needs time at a respite care home. We have that service in Australia. Take respite whenever you can, ie. Go out as much as possible & if she's like my mother when I cared for her, she will hate your guts, spread lies that she's being abused by you & someone will come in to save her ... That's when you walk away, walk til you run my friend 💞 Btw, I never left her alone as my adult son was home & she had support carers & family up the road ... And yet, I was the abusive & neglectful one apparently for needing some time to myself. I feel for my siblings who took over the role, thinking I'd be back for more, but I didn't return. They all thought I was overacting & ignored any psychology knowledge I had.
Put her elsewhere. I’m not joking. For your own sanity. You do not deserve this treatment over and over. ❤❤❤
I experienced this. This is a very valuable video. It's very confusing, you can't do enough, when you set boundaries no one understands.... you're put into the adversary position and that's the last place you want to be, and the only one that protects you... The guilt and shame are immense even with validation from others. You can't, and shouldn't do it all. I wish i had an answer -- you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Just believe you'll be stronger on the other side, and give yourself time to heal.
My mother's pregnancy with me kicked off a lifelong chronic illness. From the time I was small, she used her illness as an excuse to be cruel. I learned to think of her as a wounded animal lashing out in fear, and I tried so hard to take care of her, even when I was much too small for that responsibility. I spent my whole life being reminded that her suffering was a result of my existence.
My narc husband was just told he has congestive heart failure….all hell has broke loose and somehow everything is my fault!
I’m sorry. I have had a similar experience 😢
Just tell him he should be glad because his heart is broken yet.
Maybe he got COVID 19 Vax injury? Karma
I’m taking care of one that has dementia. It’s unreal. The frowning on his face. He fights me like a WWE wrestler. It’s like he’s trying to hurt me? I can’t feel sorry for him anymore.
so you are going to let him die i hope?
My narc mother is 92. No contact with her since 2013. I know she is probably absolutely impossible to those around her. I will never break no contact. I don't deserve that stuff. I have no guilt
My narcissistic sister has been on deaths door over 32 years.
The last I spoke to her I asked her why she competes for who is more sick.
My mother in-law was always dying all the time for 30 years and going to the ER every week, her golden child daughter always called everybody else in the family saying "Moma's dying, Moma's dying every week. My husband is so dumb that he would drop everything and take off running to the ER every week, his brothers would too. If they had ever worked for anyone else or a company they all would of had problems holding down any job. They all had small flunky businesses, (painting and construction )but this always made it hard to pay bills. She caused them not to provide properly for their own household and families. Finally somebody at the hospital had enough sense to tell her and the golden child daughter to stop it.By the way, the father never went to the ER for his wife, they were in competition together for attention so he definitely didn't go. Sometimes the younger daughter didn't go either. When she really did die, he showed her up at her funeral. He and golden child daughter didn't attend, they had him put in hospital dead at the time of her funeral for pneumonia and had us all running ourselves to death in different directions, funeral, graveyard and hospital, rough for us all, especially family from out of town. Was
What was the response?
UGH! I know someone like this. Every time someone in their family gets sick, she gets sick. I'm talking serious illness...not the common cold. If someone in the family gets cancer, all of a sudden she has some major problem with her stomach or her back and needs help. She just can't stand for someone else to get more attention. She needs so much attention. An exhausting person to deal with.
@ My mother was the worst. After a radical hysterectomy I had she claimed she had the same problems!. She committed suicide. Narcissists are unbearable.
What did she say?
My mother in law is convinced that if she gets sick we will leave our jobs, relocate, move into her house and care for her. She will be getting a shock 😊
Since a narcissist is the most excellent actor, also the role as a sick person will be performed in a way Hollywood stars would be jealous about.
My kids father had a stroke. The drs diagnosis is he is fully recovered. But he can hardly lift his feet, until a pretty girl walks past ,he can really cover ground to catch up with her! I pity the woman who lives with him now. 😂
Just remembering my Mom awhile ago, beaming and smiling in the nursing home once she came out of the worst... enjoying the attention of pouring visitors, nurses, doctors...she literally felt the world may not function till she got better...
Slowly she has lowered her standards as she ages further but will hold onto ANY power and supply she can get her hands on...
I tell my narc he's creating his portfolio.
Turn the channel if you don’t want to watch the movie 🎥.
In other words,no contact.
@@jenniferwaidelich642 As victims of narcissists we all have to learn NOT to answer, NOT to react, but observe and KNOWING who we observe. The sound of silence is louder than words.
I am right here.... Confused. I am caregiving another, as well as nursing myself to health. My health is never talked about, I do get my needs met and ask for support as needed, but it is the person I am caregiving for (family member) who absolutely doesnt even ask if I am okay. Drops in as they feel, and I have to clean up after them, and cook and serve them food. While they are not even that sick. I feel there is a lot of anger and guilt and shame that is surfacing and I feel even more guilt when I have to place a boundary or say no.
My supposedly best friend didn't show up or care when I had serious health issue a few years ago. When I told her I would have to undergo anesthesia and procedure that really scared me (first time ever in my life), she acted like I was making a fuss about nothing and worrying without a reason. It was like I told her I was going to get some milk at the supermarket. In comparison, when she had even the slightest minor health issue, I would have to listen to her complaining about it for hours and offer a shoulder to lean on. I realised she was in a sort of competition of "my health problems are more serious and yours are meaningless". Really twisted. Although this period of my life was hard (I'm better now) it opened my eyes and let me see the true nature of this person, who was in fact never my friend. I cut ties with her and don't regret it a bit.
I feel like you just zipped open my life, looked inside and wrote about it. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years, and yes when he got sick 2 years ago it went from bad bad bad, to so much worse. I’ve managed to step back, get counselling and watch your and Dr. Carters videos. Thank you for posting these, because I was in such a dark, confused place before I understood who and what I’m dealing with. I am getting stronger, and I’m so thankful for your work.
Omg, that was the end game for us. My narc sister got sick, and she’d say things like “you could never handle what I’m going through” or “you’ve never experienced this much pain” (I drove myself to the hospital in labor, but I digress). Her expectations of the people trying to help her weren’t even reasonable. It’s like she wouldn’t be happy unless you set your own life on fire, and it STILL wouldn’t be enough. It was how we ended up no contact.
When a narcissist gets sick, that's when it really becomes hellish.
You can’t Unsee the truth for the very first time in your lifetime.
Unfortunately for me, shes always sick. She has health issues.
I'm retired at 38, went from Grass to Grace. This video here reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, honest wife, $65k biweekly and a good daughter full of love🤍🤍
I'm highly inspired.
Please spill some sugar about the bi-weekly stuff you mentioned.
Big thanks to Mrs MILDRED EVELYN ROONEY
She's a licensed broker here in the states 🇺🇸 and finance advisor.
I raised 305k and Mildred Evelyn Rooney is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car a just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Mildred Evelyn Rooney is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note!: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!
I've always wanted to be involved for a long time but the volatility in the price has been very confusing to me. Although I have watched a lot of UA-cam videos about it but I still find it hard to understand
I remember after surgery recovering at home that my mom would ignore what I'd say and she'd cause more pain.
But when she was recovering I had to be super gentle with her.
The husband dangles the inheritance of his house that is solely in his name, although I paid all the debt off on it, supported him for the last 25 years, and continue to see to his doctor appointments, medication, housework, and morning & evening meals. He is threatening to disinherit me if I don't quit my job and stay at home and care for him full-time. Well, i told him if I have to quit, there will be no reason to stay anymore. And then he will have no one.
Which I would do.
I hope you already have an attorney ~ a very good one.
They blame us when they get sick and get much more difficult. If we get sick it's also our fault.
Yeah, I mean, how dare I ask where the pommade was hidden after I got severely burnt by hot oil out of the oven .. I had to search 3 cabinets on 2 different floors before I gave up and went to buy my own. At which point she "remembered" where she'd "stored" it.
Succinct and spot on. My father told me my mother was ill and having emergency surgery because it was my fault, I was 10. By 15 they both blamed me. I became very ill, it's stolen my life away and it's minimised, dismissed, I'm name called, guilted and shamed. Woke me up at the worst possible time. Now I see how self centred they both are and that I was just utile. Things they've said I'd not say to anyone. Narcissists have zero patience, cannot be kind or compassionate or love.
I caught a small glimpse of this when my narc-mother had some heart issues. I am not doing that in her oncoming aging diseases. She will not listen, and I am not going to fight her. I let her go. She will age and decline and pass away on her own, without me.
I've experienced that contempt. When they are in horrible pain you are their dedicated advocate, not to leave their side.
After surgery and 5 month restrictions he became enraged with the restrictions.
I had 4 teenagers still in the home. After the death glare I went and purchased him the do it all yourself kits and joined the others and was out of his hair.
When the narcissist gets sick, even if it’s not serious, they still make everything has to revolve around them. They act like it’s the end of the world, demanding constant attention, while dismissing everyone else’s needs. And when you get sick, they be saying that you can handle it on your own.
My narc mother never got sicker than when she learned someone else was terribly ill or especially dying! She would take to the sofa so sick she could hardly walk. I saw her run to the bathroom while sticking a finger down her throat so she would vomit as soon as she knew there was someone watching. Especially when we got word my dad was dying. She was so angry.
Growing up I had to hide any sickness. It was belittled. Except the time when we were staying with relatives, then there was an audience. My life was one of convenience for my viper narcissist mother. 😢
Thank you for this - my narc is old/sick, and she needs help. Sadly, she's gotten she's I lying gotten more selfish in her illness than she was before. It's exhausting and so hard. I feel like an awful person, but I can't help but think how relieved I'll be when she dies - realistically, that's the only way out of narc hell for me.
Just because shr needs help doesn't mean you have to give it to her.
Exactly as Dr Ramani said. I'm in it. Sigh.
They ignore us when we aren’t well, that’s IF we bother to even tell them as they always invalidate us, but when they have something wrong with them, even a back twinge, we never hear the last of it. Then, if we do say something about our own health issues they suddenly get angry like we are comparing, when in fact, we have waited for this very chance to say something about ourselves for once. If we don’t show the support that THEY expect us to, then we aren’t understanding in their eyes. They just don’t get their behaviour is abusive and toxic and that we have given up caring like we used to 🤦🏼♀️ It’s all about THEM every time.
I was told I was mean, because I returned the years of ignoring my health issues and needs, and leaving me with no groceries, let alone being able to drive to get anything (Pre delivery services). They day of my follow up, he left to go get his patches put on his uniform. I had to drive myself. I had a surgery, that I had to stay in the hospital for 2 days for recovery. Upon check out, he didn't go and pick up my meds. I didn't know I had these meds because ya know, I was high on pain meds when we left the hospital. He "got sick" a few weeks later and walked around, hunched over, for a week, the constant pain sounds and drama, trying to bait me. When I didn't, he was upright and moving just fine. ;)
Absolutely spot on!
My mother gave up her children and her sister for her narcissistic husband. She can take care of that bastard alone.
It took me my whole life up until this point, to realize that my Mother was an enabler of my nac father. She sacrificed her children to the wolf to save herself from the abuse. She thought I was crazy for going no contact. When she's the only one left in that house and gets picked as the narcissistic supply, I don't want her to come crawling to me telling me I was right about him.
I remember my psychopathic father got mean when he was sick. We would just leave him alone. When he had the onset of dementia. Being I had started my studies in narcissism. He got sloppy he became a malignant narcissist. He about destroyed all my relationships and even tried my therapist. Which my therapist was also educated on criminal psychology. Dad lost with him and told everyone what a loser my therapist was. Dad starved himself to death and quit his pills. I really believe he did this in fear of exposure- dementia like I said made his narc game sloppy.
Oh I forgot I wasn’t allowed to be sick over any to long of a time. My sickness was on his time. He told everyone my mold illness was in my head. It took me three years to rid my self against it using non conventional medicine. Btw most my family realizes mold illness is real now. Dad’s been dead 7 years now. Thank goodness!
I apologize if this is annoying, and if you don't want to get into it,I understand....but can I ask you what your symptoms of mold illness were? I highly suspect that something in my apartment is making me sick.
@ mold does imitate other illnesses. Depends on how strong the mold is and how long you been in it. I’m allergic I’m called a mold canary. In the beginning it attacked my skin and sinuses. That’s how it gets into your body. Mycotoxins mold spores attack your immune cells. You can see if you have an active immune cell going on in your body and test for mycotoxins. I had hair loss, parasites, sores of which the doctor only took pictures of. Bone problems- nose bleeds- you can’t clean the mold you have to replace the water damage area. Even dead mycotoxins are active . Good luck the medical field and most molds clean ups got no idea what they are dealing with. It’s about like explaining a narcissist to someone. Good luck hope you can clean up that mold or get away from it!!
@@SherryTomlinson-r2y Thank you so much for taking the time to answer- and for your kind words!
@ your welcome
Thank you so much for touching this topic.
I have been severely traumatized by my dad having cancer and doing all these things you mentioned. I didn’t know I could be so traumatized by a parent as an adult.
Last year 2023 my dad decided to “fast the Stage 1 cancer away” (refusing any treatment) and pretty much shunned me when I wouldn’t let him move in to my studio apartment with me so I could “monitor him if he passed out”.He of course told EVERY stranger he happened upon that he had cancer. As a 6ft man he atrophied to about 120lb. And this year has been diagnosed terminal.
These situations suck because I know he’s gonna pass, but I hate him for choosing this and being so egotistical about his health. It’s like abandonment,…with a twist.
You wouldn’t believe how hard it’s been so I’m so glad to be able to return to this video when I’m invalidating myself on top on my grief. Thank you so much❤❤
this is so spot-on, as always. when i was with my ex, he would constantly downplay my chronic illness, but if he got a simple cold everyone was supposed to drop everything and care for him. this behavior was even present with mental illnesses too, he would compare very different issues each of us had and every time his was “so much worse”.. i would be dealing with health issues and feel the need to mask it for his comfort, so that i wouldn’t be berated and undermined.
he would also use and swear by home remedies that weren’t proven to work, like he had all the answers everyone didn’t. so often when i would talk about my symptoms, he would push these concoctions on me and encourage me to “treat” things at home because “doctors only want money”..
My narcissistic ex has a great immune system. This leads him to overestimate how good the immune systems of others are and selfishly bring his child along to family gatherings when the child is sick.
This was so validating, section after section after section.
My mother in-law was always dying this went on fo 30 years.It got to where every week, she went to ER and the golden child daughter always called everybody saying "Moma's dying, Moma's dying. " My husband is so dumb that he would drop everything and take off running to the ER. His brothers did the same. If they hadn't had small flunky businesses they wouldn't of been able to hold down jobs at all,nobody would of tolerated them being out of work every week. The father was in competition for attention with the mother so he never went,the younger daughter sometimes didn't either. This made it hard for us to pay bills. When she actually did die, the father showed her up at her funeral, he had a Dr's appointment at the same time and went to hospital at the same time, golden child daughter took him,as quick as one was dead she started sucking up to the other.They rest of us had to run in all directions, funeral, graveyard and hospital, it was really rough for those who were from out of town.
Oh man, Dr. Ramani, you nailed it again! Yes, they don't think any physical ailment will ever befall them. And they love to blame a person who does get sick...or fat (God forbid!)...on their own laziness and lack of self-discipline.....or "they just didn't take care of themselves". And none of those things will ever happen to them because "I take good care of myself!" They're like a bunch of spoiled brats who probably have the self-talk of "OMG What will I do if I can't look good?! Life will be over and not worth living anymore". Oh, boo hoo. Karma is going to be a bigger b*tch to them than anyone else could ever be.
I love karma.
It makes sense that a narcissistic person, when sick , would feel the need fo doible down on their high intensity Control mechanisms
I've had multiple fairly serious health issues for years, and have been struggling with pain and other very debilitating symptoms. It's shocking how little empathy I get. I remember at one point, when I was groaning in pain, being told to 'keep it down' because the narcissist was trying to watch TV. But the second he gets a cold, or any minor injury I get a constant litany of just how unimaginable his agony is. Even when he's feeling better and fully healed, he will not shut up about how awful the illness was!! Meanwhile I'm still dealing with all my issues, and zero empathy. I honestly find it amazing that anyone could be so awful, and seemingly totally un-self-aware of it.
Thank you Dr. for always coming through with these validating videos. ❤
Ironically, I used to actually feel better when the narcissist next to me was sick. Because this made it psychologically easier for me to accept abuse and humiliation, knowing the person feels physically miserable, while I am healthy. Yeah, I know this is ludicrous…
My husband had a stroke this summer. Due to his many years of untreated high blood pressure (those machines aren’t accurate!) 🙄, sedentary lifestyle, 3-4 energy drinks a day, and half a dozen donuts for breakfast.He’s only 45.
He needed emergency brain surgery.
Two days on a ventilator in ICU. His words when he woke up? “Go get me a monster”
He just treated the whole thing like it was no big deal. He’s got a cool story to tell, a cool scar. He loved all the attention.
17 days in the hospital. He was so rude to the staff.
He still can’t work. Thinks the doctors won’t let him go back “ for no reason”
Our entire lives have been upended.
And he just couldn’t care less.
I had planned to leave. But I didn’t do it soon enough. And now I’m stuck.
Oh I'm so sick take care of me oh I hurt myself patch me up wah wah wah, when you're sick or hurt it's oh come on it can't be that bad 🙄🙄🙄
In Australia “soldiering on” was a social norm. Post covid it’s bad form to go out a lot sick
It's all about their victimhood-just gives them the perfect fuel to use others while treating them like garbage!!
She always did the opposite of what the doctors said and never took the recommended dose of medicine.
Haha! I will face nothing! I went NC years ago. Every once in a while I check for an obituary.
What I've noticed is that some narcissist's live to a ripe old age while their partner's wither away from the chronic stress of trying to deal with them. When the narcissist does get sick or injured they will moan and groan and let everyone know about it they will get their narc supply one way or another.
Omg I’ve encountered patients like this and it all so very true. There is a lot of pity and compassion burn out.
Dr. Ramani, I’ve been living with a narcissistic partner, and your talks have been life-changing. In just a month, your videos have brought me so much healing and reassurance. Thank you for your invaluable guidance and the right outlook.
In a way you are protecting others when you protect yourself. Look out for number one or you'll step in number two. We have the ability to learn from other people's mistakes. Physical, Mental and Spiritual health should be your number one priority in life. It's wrong to neglect yourself in any way. When your alone you have to take the necessary care you need to stay healthy. It's your own personal responsibility to seek out help if you can't handle whatever life burdens you may encounter. Your your number one responsibility and you should be your number one priority. What good would you be to anyone else if you neglected yourself?
This hits home. The ex worked for health department with the state, so everytime somebody had cancer she expected them to come to her for advice and was upset when they didn't. Second thing was when she would complain about aches and pains after sitting on couch all day since she was able to work remotely a few days a week and needed a massage from me. I work construction and would get little sympathy if I was hurting and in pain.
My narcissistic parent was a nurse. She used to threaten me because I had a low pain tolerance. “What are you going to do when you’re in severe pain like an auto accident?” Isn’t pain tolerance something you’re born with? Shouldn’t a nurse know this?
and even so...They dare to call themselves 'humble' as a way of saying I'm a pity person right now
An aunt was open to talking about her health conditions. When I had a TBI, she was minimizing and bothered that I was still mentioning it... when she had asked how I was. She only asked how I was, after I asked how she was. I do think I probably didn't share with some supportive friends much about what I've experienced after the last TBI because I've had this feeling like I was wrong.
I did tell a friend about some things a while back because I hadn't shared when it happened. To not keep it silent.
In my observation, narcs have A LOT of accidents. Because, they think they're invincible or something. Like, work two full time eight hour jobs and think you won't fall asleep at the wheel etc.
Very relatable, thank you for sharing.
We are older, she took a fall at 66yo.. should be recovered, docs see nothing wrong now, but she plays the pity routine daily to manipulate. Hard to know what is real and what is not... and she plays it to the hilt, even with the Doctors !
When the narcissist gets sick, they will expect you to drop everything for them. If you get sick, they will play the victim even while you’re sick. They will act like they’re even sicker than you.
You are sooo right.
This is the perfect 👌🏾 summary
That is all about "sick and twisted".😊
@@NarcSurvivor So true. Anything is always greater than what you have. It is ALL about them. Forget your needs or feelings.
Amen, they are definitely like this
This right here, everything about it is so true and especially true to me. I would tell my narc that he shouldn't go to the gym because he had covid and he threw the biggest rages and said "they'll be aight" I implored him and reminded him that these people also have families and elders and jobs that can be severely affected by covid and he said , so I'm supposed to just not workout, what about me?? We have a whole gym in our storage.
OMG Dr Ramani, you are right on my life.
I unfortunately was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, ( i never smoked but my ex did, heavy smoker)
I couldnt understand during all my tests, he said youd better be REALLY SICK, this is csting a lot......
He verbally told my beautiful surgeon , and dont look at me because i smoke, etc, i was SO Embarrassed.
He visited me once in hospital, because he said he was too busy, and i had visitirs anyway.....
Yes thats probably when he met his New supply...... fixing her keyboard, he did in home computer services.
On Discharge i was left Alone at home, it was a horrible recovery .
I wish i new about Narcissistic abuse years ago.
Bless you Dr Ramani
When they stand right next to you and talk while being sick and when you back away from them they say, "what?" and roll their eyes as though it's unreasonable to want to protect myself. I remember when Covid happened. He had not a care in the world about protecting himself from getting sick or protecting others from getting sick. He thought he knew better and more than everyone else. I was just waiting for our whole family to be taken down. And back when nobody knew what would happen, I felt so unprotected and terrified.
I could have used this eight years ago -- eighteen years ago, frankly
"Extended family" almost always enables the narcissistic parent
My husband died from cancer 5 years ago, I had planned to leave that year, but when he was diagnosed I felt that you just couldn’t leave someone at their worst, his treatment of me got worse and he refused to believe he was terminal. He hadn’t been physically abusive until this point. That changed. When he was at his sickest he expected me to sleep on the floor next to his hospital bed so that I was on call 24/7, I was the carer after all he told his Oncologist, Drs and nurses. He was so so angry he was dying he cancelled his life insurance and gambled our retirement fund away so that the kids and I were left with nothing but debt. I feel terribly sorry for anyone who has to go through this with a narcissist. He even yelled at me saying why was I not the one dying, he had more to offer the world than me so it wasn’t fair. The last month was the only reprieve I had as the Drs saw his treatment of me and wouldn’t let him go home from hospital, so his abuse then went to staff, even the people bringing his food didn’t miss out and were yelled at. He was an awful person, and although I wouldn’t wish that on anyone he treated everyone like dirt, and sometimes you get what you put out.
I feel like my narcissistic mother will never die.
Yup! My Mom has resurrected from multiple strokes, brought the house down over the couple of years, Dad went crazy looking after her every second of every day and night, has withered away and my Mom has since recovered and getting back to her 'invincible' persona once again...
Listened to other videos, including Dr Ramani's where it's clearly says narcissist people live longer and longer...
Felt the same, but they eventually do.
And, we all shall die, too. This asks the question again, "Why are we all here?" ?
Sane person: there’s no way this or that narcissist could possibly be even worse than s/he already is
Narcissist: hold my Chateau Montelena
Dr.Ramani could you please do a video on dealing with the physical ailments after you finally leave a horrific narcissistic abusive relationship. Thank you for everything you do. ❤
You mean when they are sick on Thanksgiving, and I have to cook everything myself and they complain about how long it takes, and then when I say they slept all day and didn't help because they were sleeping all day but it had nothing to do with them getting into an argument with everyone!
Some years ago, my narc ex, my baby at the time, and myself were moving back to our home state in hopes my covert narc ex could keep a job out there instead of wild, hard Texas. Well, of course my narcissistic family of origin should have been waiting for us to arrive. The night we were to arrive, my mother’s narc husband “had a heart attack” . Well I, the mother of a one year old who had just been driven cross country who also was a parent to her Covert narc father did not feel the need to go visit a man who didn’t have it in him to support me when I needed it or even have a respectful word to say ever in the hospital. I found it all too convenient. I was in the state for less than a month and never saw my mother or her husband. Why? Because i didn’t go see him in the hospital 😂 one out of six children went to visit him, the golden child. Of course, none of the children with backbones have spoken to him since
my narc brought me a book on turmeric for my depression, and said 'the guy at the store said it was good!'; because I couldn't possibly know how to treat myself, no way, nuh-uh!!
My narcissistic father's lack of empathy when he's sick is what pushed me over the edge and lead me to moving out. I was so worried about him because he had went to the hospital for two days, and when he got home he treated me like garbage. I decided I had had enough and finally gained the courage to leave. Best decision I've ever made. The healing process is tough, but it's way better than living a lie.
Good grief- he had a routine surgery, which I understand was painful and required a recovery time, but the world had to stop to focus on his every twinge. He refused to lift a finger, and demanded everyone cater to him for 3 months. His pain level was at 10+, until the day it wasn't, when he got bored with himself and wanted to have fun again.
Absolute opposite for my narcissistic mother. She's been dying for 40 years and absolutely nobody is ever as sick as she is.
DoctorRamani ,
I just want to thank you for sharing your knowledge and content with the world 🌎
Isn’t it ironic that we wouldn’t be the powerful,caring,empathetic people most of us are, if we didn’t endure this hell over a lifetime?
The curse that became a blessing ❤
My covert narcissistic grandmother tried to blame me for her almost dying from dehydration as a side effect of her cancer diagnosis. She refused to seek earlier treatment when I tried to encourage her to see about a persistent cough, and I tried my best to take care of her while she was at home struggling to swallow and keep food down. I’m going no contact with her next year after I move out of her house.
Thank you so very much for this video, Doctor Ramani! Your comments section is the best to read, hehehe.
Yes. The demands just get worse. Entitlement gets worse.
Thank you Dr Ramani. Always fascinating (often for the wrong reasons)! In my family of three siblings, one parent, one siblings and nephew in-law work in the family business. Interestingly enough that parent, sibling and sibling's children are all on medication to level out their anxiety. I don't really remember the parent who displays NPD traits every getting sick, but as you see the immediate environment has issues!
Dr Ramani, have you met the two ex narcissistic partners of mine? I can't believe how well you have described them both, as two sick men. I saw through it in the end and feel sorry for anyone else who has to step in to help. Im a deeply compassionate person so it's been hard to leave, but i now understand that the entitlement and expectations are ridiculous and their toxicity is impossible to deal with. Thank you for making me feel better about myself.
My kids father has had a back issue for a year now. He doesn’t work for that main reason so he can’t pay child support, he can’t pay his bills or his mom rent. Recently I let him come over to watch our kids while I’m at work. All I asked is that he cleans up after himself. Not even our kids. Just himself. Respect my house rules which are simple. No going in my room. Clean up after himself. He can help himself to anything in my kitchen as long as he washes his hands and uses a cup to drink out of any container since he has a bad habit of drinking out of the carton. He broke ALL those rules. Intentionally and would say I’m “too much” or that I’m “mean” if I try to enforce my boundaries. I was okay with the gaslighting because I wasn’t being affected by it as much but one night I went into the bathroom and there was throw up residue on my sink, pee and p**p on my toilet and I said enough is enough. I sat down and told him I’m not his maid, all I asked is that he clean up after himself and that includes his bodily fluids and solids. He said his back hurt a lot but that he’ll do it. He just smeared it with a rag and I said okay you know what, I’ll do it, but you need to see a dr, your back issue is so bad, I can’t keep seeing you struggle to clean up after yourself at this point. This is serious. He said… “when we were together, you never bothered to make dr appointments for me, now that we’re not together, why do you care, it’s your fault that I wasn’t seeing a dr back then so it’s too late now, it is what it is, I’ll deal with the consequences, all you had to do was help me make appointments but you couldn’t even do that. Now you care that I’m worse?”…. This narcissistic ass demon really tried to blame me somehow for him having a bad back… and me telling him his back issue was worrisome… if that’s not a narcissist, then I call it a demon.
The world is ending when they get sick. Their illness is worse than anyone experienced. And you must care for them. Oh but when you get sick you are such a burden.
Years ago, I hosted a breakfast at a local diner for a visiting relative. About 20 relatives gathered. My father was living in another part of the country. A relative decided to call him so he could say hello to everyone. They passed their cell around. I heard people respond to him telling them about his aches and pains (for which he would not seek any type of medical treatment). He did that over and over. Each person would do the....oh, I am so sorry, oh no. He was oblivious to the point of the gathering. I passed on having a conversation with him.
My mom would schedule doctor appointments at specific times that I would have to take off work to get her to the appointment. But then she would cancel the appointment the morning of the appointment and not tell me until I arrived home early from work to take her to the appointment. She would hide perscriptions so that I couldn't fill them, but when her condition worsened my siblngs would blame me for not filling the scripts. Her deceitful ways kept everyone from getting on the same page about her health condition until I moved her to my brother's home for his wife and him to take care of...... when she passed away he told me he had realized how bitter and hateful she was when she lived with him. He saw a side of her he had never seen before.
I had this experience with a narcissistic teen with other cluster B personality disorder diagnosis. It was a nightmare. I know that children aren’t usually diagnosed with npd but it was so pronounced that the psych docs explained that the only reason my child didn’t have that diagnosis is because of age. After dealing with the manipulative overdoses and suicide attempts, physical attacks, lies, humiliation, and a case with CPS that was dismissed, my child turned 18 and decided to move away to live with their narcissistic father who promised them the world so he didn’t have to pay child support (my child was deemed disabled so support was extended). Honestly I am worried but also relieved. It’s been a really hard road but now they have each-other. And yes, it’s not working out well.
Ummm the biggest baby on the planet who wants everything short of wiping their rear done for them, Me when I get sick he disappears. I can tell you an epiphany came to me after years of this dynamic! I’m petrified to grow old with him!
My narcissistic dying father told me that I should get a partner so I could count on someone to take care of me whenever I needed. So cold and calculated. I want a partner I can emitionally connect with but that was way too far from his comprehension.
Also, my grandmother used to tell me when I was a child that I was to take care of her when she would get old. Looking back, I realize how innapropriate those words were.
My BIL gaslighted his cardiologist who said his heart isn’t perfect and refuses to believe he needs care or meds.
My son's mom lied about having heart problems for a couple years until I caught on. It makes me feel stupid for believing it, but who lies about having heart surgery numerous times. She would legit be in the hospital for a week, but it was only to detox from severe alcoholism. I started to be suspicious when then continuously weren't adding up. One day she had her shirt off, she never had her shirt off. There was no scar, so I confronted her & asked her where her scar was from multiple surgeries. She got angry, left the room, scratched her breast & returned to show me. It was so bizarre. I spent years trying to help her on her feet. She never got better, & all the kind things I did to help got disregarded. Instead, i was the one who wronged her when I ended up having to take my newborn son from her because she couldn't stay sober. She was acting strange one day so I came home from work early. She was passed out with him in her arms, & he was about to fall out of her arms onto the floor. She was beyond intoxicated & my son's eyes were glazed over. I grabbed him, she woke up and started screaming and hitting me with him in my arms. I nudged her out the bedroom door, locked it, & she kicked broke the door. He was only wearing a diaper & it was winter, so I wrapped him in a blanket & rushed him out my truck. She ran up to me, grabbed the blanket, & pulled as hard as she could. She pulled and pulled until she fell on the ground. I got him in my truck. Locked the door, & called 911. Meanwhile her screaming and beating on the glass above his head. They showed up, & took her to the insane asylum. Then she convinced a lot of people I was the one in the wrong, & that I was the one that was abusive. She also blamed "post partum." I believe post partum is a legitimate thing as well and addiction. Yet, the extent of her lies and manipulation is beyond it being an excuse. I've had my son since he was a few months old. She has not seen him in person since he was about 10 months old. She still plays the victim to this day and makes out to be the bad person. Says I'm keeping our son away from her, & she's right. She doesn't need to be around him until she's stable. It would only be hard on him if she was in and out of her life and it would only give her more leverage to manipulate him back into her life. It's not even about him, it's all about her image being scarred for not having her son in her life. I legitimately don't think she cares about having him in her life, other than for her own gain.
Well, huh… old age for sure from the age of 70 to the age of 84. I’m 84 he’s 86. One year out of his ‘situation’ Now in a Nursing home. This blurb was very very very, very helpful now I’m really going to Texas for three weeks with a really gay heart in ten days as soon as I get my own set of dentures. Mine first! He’s been refusing his so now he doesn’t get them. I get them. Yay. I can’t believe it. It’s so interesting. Really interesting. . . Can you believe it? This whole trip with you during these last three years has been a galloping win for the contest of life, for me, thanks for carrying on, but you need a vacation too maybe. So you can continue to carry on. I don’t know, but if you do, please make sure to take it.
I ignored his demands...
Loving his Distress
When my Narc Ex became poorly he used that as an excuse for wanting space. 🍒
It’s easier to avoid narcissists entirely. However, since we all have them as a spouse, siblings, co-workers, bosses, or friends, knowing how to set boundaries with a narcissist is the best decision. That way, you can relate without being affected by their self-centered attitude. So, Here is a Way To Set Boundaries With Narcissists.
"Fountain_cybersecurity"(l’ G’) is out there providing discreetly support and helping you with certainty to navigate through difficult situations with narcissist. always waiting to help.