My Experience of Pregnancy After Stillbirth
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- Опубліковано 5 бер 2022
- An update video! Sharing my experience of pregnancy after losing Leo at 41+5. I’m sure I have missed lots so if you have any specific questions please feel free to ask!
Thank you for all of your kind comments and wishes on my last video. Very pleased to announce the safe arrival of Sienna (our rainbow baby).
@hollysiddallltd
Thank you for sharing. I lost my baby at 39 weeks, 5 days ago.
I realised each successful birth is a true miracle. I miss my baby girl so much, I do wanna get pregnant again but I am scared. I agree it won't be a way to replace her, she is part of the family now even if she is not here anymore.
I had my first little baby yesterday that was stillborn. We see on the scan on July 26th that her heart stopped beating (today is Aug 2nd). I did have the gift of natural delivery for her so we were able to have our parents come to meet our sweet Rosie. She was so little and my heart is aching
Baby Leo guided Baby Sienna safely to you and daddy James..congratulations..she has a wonderful brother watching down from the beautiful white fluffy clouds ⛅️ 💙💫💕
Thank you for sharing. I lost my daughter in December at full term and just found out today that I’m pregnant. Your video was on my suggested page and I’m so glad I watched, I’m feeling a bit disconnected and not as excited as it’s not my babygirl that I wanted so bad and have been missing and I was thinking that I would be upset if it’s a boy but hearing you explain my exact feelings has made me feel so much comfort. Thank you so much💜💜
Amber, how are you getting on? X
May God place his hands on you and your unborn baby remember Jesus makes NO mistakes you got this momma 🙏❤️
It felt like I was in a dream after having my second live baby. I remember I kept asking over and over, if I really did have a baby or if I was dreaming. I was honestly in a dream like state for the longest time. I felt like a billionaire/on top of the world and I wanted this feeling to last forever. ❣️💗
Thank you for sharing your story, I lost my son two weeks ago at 39 weeks. ❤
So sorry Jen x
I recently lost my baby a week ago. She was 37 weeks. It hurts so much but I know one day I'll have my arms and heart full. I can't think on getting pregnant any time soon but one day Ill love to have my rainbow baby. Thank you for sharing your story.
Oh I am so sorry. It is so painful and hard but I hope one day you have a beautiful baby in your arms, as well as the one in your heart. Sending love x
Thank you so much for your testimony. My husband and I lost our first baby girl on October 14th of this year. I’m 7 weeks post-partum today. She was my first ever pregnancy. I’ve never experienced any pregnancy before her. And what hurts more is that my pregnancy experience was just amazing. No nausea, no aversion to foods, no preeclampsia, no GDM… She was born asleep at 39.4. Just yesterday I learned she passed due to an umbilical embolism/thrombosis. Having that bit of knowledge helps me in some way, it gives me some form of closure.
We definitely want to expand our family and your story gave me so much insight on what emotions might come up when we choose to have another. Your baby boy will always be there with y’all. 💞
I always try to comfort my husband and I by telling ourselves that our baby girl wouldn’t want to see her mommy and daddy sad. It’s been so tough.
Thank you. ❤
i can't thank you enough for sharing this. after having my son hugo, who was stillborn at 39 weeks, i've wanted to get pregnant again so badly. but i'm terrified. so much of what you've said resonates with me, and of course our babies can never be replaced. i am so glad you have your daughter now, healthy and alive, with leo always with all of you. you're so brave for sharing. sending you and your entire family so much love.
So sorry you lost Hugo at 39 weeks. Pregnancy after loss is terrifying, and you will no doubt have that 39 number in your head the whole time. But hopefully a supportive consultant can do whatever they can to ease some of the anxiety - for example delivering before week 39? Take your time so you are in the best place possible to get through the pregnancy, but I also know that desperation to get pregnant again. I just couldn’t wait. Somehow I got though the pregnancy and I know you will too 🙏🏻 x
@@hollykeast8425 Thank you for your support 🧡I'm currently 16 weeks! It's such a whirlwind. I do have a good team behind me, though, and I am so grateful for that. Definitely delivering before 39 if I can help it!
I’m so happy for you ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing. I lost my son at 38.5 and I’m trying to find hope for the future and your honesty is so helpful. So much of this resonates. So happy for you three ❤️🙏🏻
Congratulations on your rainbow baby! Came to watch this video after losing my son Hassan at 35 weeks. Your video gave me hope, I just want to a baby asap. Its so hard to wait to heal😢
Such a beautiful honest story that is so important for people to understand that women can go through. Im anMidwife wands was very closer to my ladies and be there in the hood and hard times. Gods bless you. Much love 😘
Thank you for sharing Holly. My 3rd child died at 16 weeks old of cot death. So much of your story resonates with me including the suddenness of empty space where the baby has been. I used to cry in the shower while easing full breasts but not too much. Such a waste. My other 2 children had birthdays within 3 and 6 weeks of the death which forced me to get on with life and probably stopped me from deep depression. I was desperate to get pregnant again and when baby was born we had an alarm mattress and I watched her like a hawk. Stressful times until she was a year old. Craig died Feb 1985 37 years ago and Emma was born in April 1986. I was blessed with 16 weeks and can’t imagine the pain and loss of hope going into delivery with such a crushing outcome. Hugs 🤗 for you and I hope all is eased in time and with Siennas presence.
Dear Janis, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Craig. I’m sure you cherish the special time you spent together even if it was far too short. Every loss is unique and hard to comprehend, but now I have Sienna I can’t imagine the pain of losing her after getting to know her. A mother losing her child is so cruel and painful and wrong. I know the anxiety of watching the next baby like a hawk! I am terrified to feed sienna anything other than soupy-puree! But she is a beautiful girl and I am so blessed to have her in my arms every day. Our babies are never forgotten and loves always 🧡 sending you love and very sorry you have experienced this pain too x
i dont know how this got suggested to me but i really needed it 😭🥺🥺 thankyou ..... thankyou
Thank you so so so much for this video. I am so so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my first baby to stillbirth on February 27.. coming home to an empty home and an empty nursery is so hard. But I feel so understood by watching your video so thank you. Congratulations on your rainbow baby 💕 I know my baby girl in heaven will send down a sibling when it’s right for me and I’m so excited for that. Thank you for giving me hope.
🙏🏻🙏🏻 she will always look down on her mummy and I hope that it happens for you too xx
Thankyou soo much for sharing your story.. I lost my son 6 weeks ago at 35 weeks.. I’m still in horrific shock but watching this video has helped me immensely and gives me hope that I Can have a live baby again.. Nothing will replace your sweet Leo, but like u said ur heart grows big enough to love all your babies.. Thanku soo much again 💖💖
So sorry Palla that you have lost your son and sending you love. Things will get a little easier with time. It’s a huge shock and it took (is still taking me) a long time to come to terms with the reality. I hope the grief and shock become more bearable for you very soon. Xx
You are so authentic and genuine,thanks for sharing your journey. You are such a source of encouragement. May God continue healing your family xoxo
congratulations on your rainbow baby!
Lots of love and blessings to you ❤️
@holly keast I am so glad to catch your video. Ur story really touched me as a mother. You look so happy and well. Also, u are so lucky to have found a midwife who was empathetic. I can only imagine the stress and fear while u were pregnant. Thank u for being so authentic about how u felt throughout ur pregnancy, I'm sure it will help others to cope who may have the same feelings. Good luck to u and ur beautiful family of four. Tragedy doesn't take that away from u. Lots life love from Texas.
Ah thank you so much! Definitely much happier 💕 but Leo will always be missing and loved 🧡
Me too! Pregnancy is such a rollercoaster anyway & the anxiety after loss is another level, so even if it helps someone in some small way that’s great. x
Thank you for telling your story. It resonated with me so much. The emotions and events that you experienced are so similar to mine. Delighted to hear that you are now a happy family.
Wonderful that your daughter was born safely... I just watched your previous video. The symptoms you describe after your daughter's birth are also normal. Congratulations!!!
You are such a lovely strong woman, congratulations on your daughter, she is very lucky to have a warm loving second time mum as you are. My son was also born "sunny side up" and also a C section, my son was in distress and a very rough time, I can't imagine going through what you've been through. I wanted to let you know that the mark on their forehead is called an "angel kiss." I hope that helps ! Again, you are very strong. Enjoy your children. I would love to see some pics, can't wait to see your daughter.
I lost my baby at 35 weeks last month ,it's really hard to cope with everything ,giving birth to a still born baby isn't easy ,I am trying really Hard to move on and get over it
I’m so sorry Cynthia. Please take it easy, it’s so hard and such a huge trauma to overcome. But time does heal and life will begin to move forward again x
@@hollykeast8425 thank you dear
Thank you so much for sharing ❤️❤️
I’m sorry for your loss of Leo
Thanks so much for sharing, my baby boy was born sleeping on Wednesday and we’re devastated. I’m going to contact Petals. Thanks for sharing your story openly and honestly❤
I lost my daughter Nova to sids at 6 days old last December. I got pregnant 3 months after and am expecting another daughter in 28 days.
Came to your video cuz im losing my mind with anxiety and needed to hear another mamas experience with this so thank you
I totally understand wanting another boy. I wanted another girl too and I got her but my husband wanted a boy cuz the girl was too painful for him at first. We are so excited now though but again really anxious.
I dont know you, but your 1st video about precious lil Leo popped up for me, so I watched it, and I was really touched by your story. Unfortunately, I too, lost a son in womb, and had to proceed forward with birthing him after he had passed away inside of me. His name was Lawson Lee and he would be 5 years old this year 2022(I cant believe it's been that long..I sure remember it like it was just last week😞)..and, I too, share many of your same regrets, feelings, and wishes of having done things a bit differently in those moments. However, I have to say that it's very clear to me that you are a loving and caring Mother, and that you most certainly did the very best that you could do at that time with the devastating circumstances you were so unexpectedly placed into, along with the fact that you had just undergone a major surgery with incredibly strong drugs, and the very surreal and raw emotional state you were encompassed in, riding an unstable rollercoaster up, down, and all around the various ranges of emotions from minute to minute without being able to even take a breath or, quite frankly, comprehend a damn thing about the grim reality that was spiraling out of control in front of you. That is ALOT! And I understand. So please give yourself some grace my dear...you deserve it💕 I'm glad to hear things are doin quite a bit better now for y'all..but I also really really appreciate your transparent honesty about your experience and some of the hardest parts to talk about that most folks just keep to themselves. Its important that we share this stuff...it just might help the next poor family that has to endure the hell that you and I did! I sure wish I had known a bunch of this stuff that happens, or some things I could expect before I lost my son...maybe I would have been able to make some different more informed choices if I had been armed with more knowledge going into it...people dont want to talk about the real and difficult things, which are TRULY the most important things to be speaking about. Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble a bit.. I needed that lol...and felt a connection with your story and just really wanted to thank you for sharing it..and P.S. I also commend you for not pretending like all was just well once your daughter was born...you we honest and shared about some very real issues that can crop up, and that many women suffer in silence from because they are scared or dont know how to talk about it...so kudos to you...Im happy you feel that you have turned that corner with her and are in a positive place and I wish nothing but peace, love, and light for you and your family💯💕👣😘💖
Melissa, firstly let me say how sorry I am to hear about your son, Lawson Lee. We just celebrated Leo’s 2nd birthday and I can only imagine how raw things will still feel in 3 years time. I’m not sure I will ever come to terms with what has happened - the loss and the trauma of delivery. But yes, things have certainly improved a lot and there are smiles on our faces again!! I totally agree with you that transparent information and stories out there would have helped so much…I would have made more informed choices too. I had NO IDEA about any of this stuff until I was told I needed to deliver my son. And then I was given a tiny charity booklet about ‘what to expect when you have a stillbirth’. No help at all! So I asked close family things like ‘should we see him in the morgue’ and they all said no. ‘Don’t remember him like that’ or ‘that will be difficult’. And actually if you speak to someone informed who has lived this reality, they will probably advise the opposite. So glad I went against the advice and held him again. I WISH I went back more times because I never can now.
Anyway…I’m rambling too!! Thanks for your message and sending you love xx
@hollykeast8425 not sure if you had the same experience as me but as my daughter was a SIDS death they had to do autopsy to rule out anything crazy and wouldn't let me hold her in the hospital because it was an investigation. I guess it's normal here in Ohio, USA. It was so messed up for us though. But I wanted to see her at the mortuary (and I did) but no one prepared me for how ( *sorry* )decomposed and unlike herself she looked. It would have been so different if she hadn't gone for autopsy but by the time they released her to the funeral home for us she looked nothing like our baby except for her ears and hands. I will spare you the details but it haunts me. I hope that wasn't your experience.
Thank you so much for this. May I ask how many scans do you receive apart from the ones you did not feel any movements.
At least monthly and then offered weekly towards the end. My consultant was very generous and would allow me to go as many times as I wanted, but I just found them more stressful towards the end so I did decline a few x
@@hollykeast8425 awww so happy for you ❤️❤️❤️ and thank you for the reply.
I just lost a week ago today my baby girl Siena. She made it to 36 weeks. I had an emergency cesarean because of low/no heart rate. They revived her and she was alive two days. She was my first. I had a miscarriage before her. Daddy and I are beyond heartbroken. This is so cruel. Life can be so unfair.
It’s so cruel and unfair. I can’t understand why a perfect little baby ever has to die. I’m just so sorry and sending you love. I hope that you get the beautiful baby you deserve to have in your arms, as well as the two in your heart xx
I have same my baby 34 weeks with c section i lost him ... I want him back please pray
@@shubhsharma7563 I am so sorry. It’s such a hard journey. My heart feels your pain.
how long you concieved after c section? I had stillborn just 3 months ago😢 it was c section
Do you get pregnant naturally or u used any fertility boaster please help a sister
Naturally
Beautiful videos. So glad everyone is doing well. 🩷
Thankyou for sharing. I’m currently carrying a baby that will pass away at birth 😞 I don’t know if I will ever recover mentally from this, but can’t imagine living my life without having a family 💔 I can’t tell you how helpful it is to hear others stories. Baby loss is cruel and so frustrating. Xxx
Chloe, you can survive this. Its very difficult and you should seek out help. I lost my first 2 pregnancies-one early, one late-a boy. I wasn’t right right for a long time. My first survivor rainbow baby was a girl and then 3.5 yrs later a boy. So many emotions. Gender upset. But honestly mine all worked out over time. I still grieve my losses- even many years later. I know its normal. Thank goodness none of my 5 grands had any birth issues. Just know you are entitled to your feelings.
Chloe, sending you so many prayers. I cannot imagine the pain you are dealing with. IT IS CRUEL.💔😢🙏🏼
Chloe I am so sorry, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be. I know you wrote this comment a while ago so I’m wondering how you are now? Did you manage to spend some time with your baby? X
@@hollykeast8425 hi lovely. We managed to get 19 hours of him in the NICU and then spent 4 days with him after he passed away. I’m really aching. My beautiful baby Jase. 20/5/22-21/5/22. Forever in my heart and on my mind. 🤍
Oh baby Jase 🧡 I’m so glad you got to spend some time with him, but so sorry his life was too short. I hope that you are okay and have plenty of support? X