GRWM: My Life Just Changed Forever
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
- So that happened.
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00:00 Intro
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28:44 Outro
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FTC: This video is not sponsored and it is not meant for children. Some products were received in PR but I will always share my honest opinion. If you decide to purchase a product from this video, it would mean a lot if you could click my links before making a purchase. That way, I can earn a small commission and keep this channel going. Thank you!
I filmed this video back in early October, so I just wanted to update you that the L’Oréal matte lipstick in Breakfast in Bed is now one of my favorite products. 🔥
Wish I could wear mattes...
I love that the update on this storytime is about the lipstick 😂
@@katie.sleeps I can’t do my L’Oréal matte resistance dirty! 😂
We just told our 9 year old that she is a donor embryo and thus not biologically related to me or my husband. We were nervous, but knew it had to be done. It happened pretty organically as well: my daughter was looking in the mirror and saying she didn’t look like me or my parents (I am a minority with dark hair and it is pretty obvious that our daughter looks NOTHING like me) and I said, “Well, it is because you aren’t.” She asked if she was adopted, and I told her that she is legally not adopted because I gave birth to her, and because I was pregnant with her we shared everything that a bio birth mom would. She was most excited to find out that she has a bio sister somewhere. She wants to put her DNA into Ancestry/24 and Me. We will let her do it when she is older (16?). That being said, I am so grateful to the couple that donated their embryos to the program that my husband and I used ❤ Family is where the love is 😊
That’s so awesome! I’m so happy my parents told me when I was young so it wasn’t a shock. It’s always been a subject I’ve approached with curiosity and no negative feelings aside from wanting medical records.
That's really beautiful ❤ you sound like an amazing mom
My husband and I adopted my son at birth. He is 4 now and he knows he is adopted . The agency we used to adopt him gave us many resources as how to talk to him about adoption according to his age . I always tell my son that “ he did not grow in my tummy but he grow in my heart “ . We met his birth mother the day before he was born and she reaches out to the agency every 6 months asking for updates on my son and pictures . We are very excited she does that and send her many pictures of my son . We also saw her again this summer and met her 3 kids . The agency social worker was there and the meeting was very organic and healthy for everyone. We love to keep in touch with her . Love your story !!
Wow, that’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing
My mouth has been open for the entirety of your story lol. I’m so happy that the stars have aligned for you. I hope whatever you decide on your own time, the universe keeps listening. You’re really brave! ❤
Right?! I was like WHAT IS HAPPENING
That is quite a story! It’s impressive that you have been able to navigate such a complicated situation, with so many people being affected, so thoughtfully 💜💜💜
When my dad died I found out I wasn’t an only child - I have a half brother who’s almost two years my senior. I felt so betrayed and like my childhood had been all fake. My mom and my immediate family all knew too. When I reached out to my brother it was nerve wrecking - would he hate me for having had our dad as my dad? Turns out I was extremely lucky, we are at the some place in our lives with small children and a love for animals. Now I am getting to know the brother I always wished for (which must have been to weird for my parents when I asked for an older brother…), and while we’ll probably never feel like siblings at least our kids can be close cousins ❤
I wish you all the best in your journey ❤️
Wow, that’s so interesting! What a rollercoaster of emotions
@@StateofKait I think shows where people go out in to the world to find lost relatives they haven’t met before and immediately feel a kinship sets the expectations high for when it happens to you, but it didn’t happen for me. Which was a bit disappointing to me even though my rational mind knew better. He was just a stranger circumstances made me want to get to know.
I hope at some point in the future you’ll consider making an update to your story.
@@brittchristensen5284I 100% agree. For example, I chat regularly with my half sisters but I don’t think we’ll ever be besties. Tv shows and movies definitely give you high expectations. I’ll certainly update when I can!
i got emotional when you said, "I just knew.." I'm wishing you all the best outcome on your life journey
Wow, so life changing! Huge applause to your mom for raising you with the truth, young children are more accepting and much more stronger mentally than people give credit for. Look forward to more of your journey!💚
Totally. Kids are super open and resilient! I’m very lucky to have been given the truth.
my heart started POUNDING when you began talking about the restaurant! That is insane!! Wishing you the best going forward, and if you are comfortable sharing in the future, would love to hear an update after you contact your biological father. Loved this video!!
Isn’t it wild?! I just had to share. I’ll definitely update when I can
You are so incredibly insightful, mature and thoughtful! I am so impressed ❤ much love
Wow! Amazing story! Listening to ur story made me realize how much we take family and our lineage for granted. Good luck with the rest of ur journey 🤞🏻
Definitely. The way I see it - family is who shows up for you. Genetics mean nothing to me.
I totally agree that you need you do what's right for you and not get advice from random people on the internet. I will wish you the beat and send you happy thoughts on a good outcome ❤❤❤
Thanks love
This could be a perfect movie script! Loved every second of it. The way you narrated it, really feels like I am watching a movie.
Awww thanks
What an awesome, fabulous story!! Congrats to you all :)
Thanks! It’s wild
WOW!!!! I really do hope that this is all working out for you in a beautiful way. I was raised an "only-child", but I do have 4 half-siblings that are significantly older than me who are all lovely, but I'm not close with them. I didn't mind being an only, and my son is an only who says he prefers it. You've got me beat with those 6 half siblings!! I hope you find what you need!!
That’s so cool your son prefers it! I had a very isolated upbringing so I desperately wanted siblings lol
Its so funny because my two older children have a sibling that lives in another state, and have never had a relationship with her. They are all grown now, and a few years ago i found her and reached out and was nervous but i wanted them to know they each existed and to just allow them to do what they wanted, and my daughter and her look exactly alike. They have NEVER been around one another, but they dress alike, their boyfriends look alike, their hair is exactly the same and they wear it in the same style, they have very similar interests, and all three of them absolutely love to travel. My daughter and her sister have soooo much in common and have never been around each other and its just so amazing and fascinating that you can not be raised around one another, yet be so similar! Im so excited for you. Its scary but also so cool. My two kids and their sister want to meet up eventually and we are all connected on every social media site which is awesome and truly made my heart so happy 😊
Thank you for sharing! The nature Vs nurture component is fascinating to me
My story. I am 65 I am adopted by a single parent which took 7 years. Back in the 60’s they believed you had to have a man and woman to make a home and women that are divorced were looked as loose. Anyway I’ve always known that I wAs adopted. I remember the social worker doing her visits, but I was happy and never thought about my life being any different than anyone else. I got a call one day from my mom and she sounded very serious ; she said I just got a call from your brother and I gave him your phone number. My reaction was ok. When we hung up the phone rang it was my brother. Long story but I have 2 full brothers and 15 half. I am not close to any of them but do keep in touch with one brother. Since I grew up as an only child, I don’t know the how to be a sister and most of my brothers and sisters have very real problems. Anyway I wish u the best of luck in doing what is right for you. Have a very Happy thanksgiving.
I’m so glad you had a positive experience, that’s wonderful. Happy thanksgiving!
I could not hit play on this fast enough! I found my biological father and 3 half brothers when I was 22. I am not a donor child, but my parents divorced before I was born, and my mother went full no-contact with him. All of those emotions that you went through…I felt them. I was apprehensive about rejection but mostly just wanted the medical history. I ended up having a relationship with him for about 10 years, but we don’t speak anymore. It’s a very bizarre thing to spend a huge chunk of your life not knowing if you’ve passed your father on the street, and I love meeting/hearing about people who have had this shared experience. Best of luck to you in contacting him. And thanks so much for sharing your story!
Absolutely, it’s wild. Thanks for sharing your story!
i’m soooo glad that you found your biological dad and your siblings!!! that had to have been the biggest mind blowing moment of your life!!! thank you so much for sharing this story with us, and i reallllly hope you’re able to get allll of the medical information that you need, because i know that’s extremely important to you as well. pleaseeeee keep us posted!!! btw, breakfast in bed is one of my favorite shades of liquid lipsticks. 💗💗💗
I love all of the universe interruptions that have occurred. So amazing. I have a similar experience in my family and it's wild just how everything unfolds. Great video ❤🤗
Holy smokes what an update!!! Whatever you have decides to do, good vibes your way for whatever the outcome!!!
Amazing story!! Wishing you all the best!
Fabulous story, Kait. Wish I had been half as mature, insightful, and thoughtful as you are when I was your age! Hope things work out the way you hope, and so happy you've found new family relationships to grow from and with going forward! Thanks for all your hard work and research on this channel, it helps us out so much!
Awww, thanks for the kind words
I really appreciate your story as an happy vibes story among all of creators told the other way around. we should keep this vibes 😊
What an awesome story!! ❤
Wow, what an incredible story! I look forward to you keeping us up-to-date if you so choose.
I am so happy for you!
What an incredible story and thank you for sharing it!
Glad you enjoyed it!
This is such a beautiful and uniquely cool story!!
Thanks so much for sharing your story! It is amazing. My kids are adopted and we definitely had some of those moments where the universe was connecting us/speaking to all of us and ...chills. Take care and I hope all goes well.
That’s so cool!
wow! what a fascinating story. thank you for sharing
❤🎉 Wow Kait what a story!! So happy for you and hoping the rest works out as is meant to. ☺️😁🥰
I'll always feel indebted to you for sharing the Fitglow concealer which like nobody ? talks about!! Weird lol. 🤔
Stay bubbly and thanks for your videos. ⭐❤️😍
What a story! I enjoyed listening. 🙂
Thanks for listening!
This an amazing story. Thank you for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it!
So exciting! Sending good vibes, but sounds like you have a great network of people helping you navigate.
Thanks! I feel pretty balanced about it. What will be will be.
Wow! This is is an absolutely incredible story. Thank you for sharing. A good friend of mine just found out she had a donor father this spring when she was 30 years old. It was hard for her to process for sure
Wow, I really feel for her. A lot to process.
Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable and heartfelt story! I married a child of adoption and was fortunate to witness the re-unification with his bio mom after 29 years of waiting. I hope finding or just knowing of your bio family can bring you clarity and peace
I’m so happy for you!!! You have a family ❤
Eh, more like strangers that I have something in common with. Family are the people who show up for you ❤️
Just wanted to say, I've been in a different but similar situation, felt all those big, complicated feelings, not known what the right thing to do is because there's so many factors and there's literally no rule book for how to navigate the situation. So I'll be thinking of you. ❤
Totally! It’s very overwhelming. I’ve been sitting on this info for a few months (filmed this back in early October) so I’m making sure my email isn’t rushed. ❤️❤️
Kait. What a great story. I love that you shared this update. For an eyebrow pencil you might like the Too Faced Pomade In A Pencil Eyebrow Shaper & Filler. It's great for thicker brows. I have them too. Warm Brown or Rich Auburn might work for your hair color. I read you filmed this back in October and maybe you found something already.
Thanks!!
Amazing story!!! I truly hope it works out exactly the way you want it to. I'm sure we'd all love an update at some point, but also understand that this is a very personal thing.
I will definitely update! I’m hoping for the best, preparing for the worst
Just expect no expectations.
You might be pleasantly surprised.
Good Luck on your journey! I hope you find all you need in terms of medical history… the rest is a bonus.
Exactly!
Ahhhhh! I was so all in on this story. Very excited and happy for you. I hope you get your answers and contact and future relationships and all the good stuffs. The universe seems to have you. XO
Glad you were entertained! I don’t share much about my personal life anymore but this was too wild not to share
🥰
Wow thank you for sharing your story!! I’m half adopted (don’t know my biological father and have very limited info about him) and I’ve always thought about the nature vs. nurture thing too. Best of luck to you on your journey with this!! Love your videos :)🤍🤍🤍
Thank you so much!
❤❤❤ lots of love
For the 1st time I didn't concentrate on the makeup ! Really enjoying listening to you.
Oh thank you!
Wow this is such a crazy story! I hope that you get to meet your sisters soon and that goes well! Also I didn’t realize you are from CT! I am as well! On the west coast now!
Aww I love that we have that in common
Many adoptees of particular time periods have been dealing with the Industry's (and it sure was one) often toxic bias toward the adopters v the adoptee. I'm sure it's similar for children of donors. I can tell you that even in the 80's and 90's there was much public & statehouse discussion about rights of children (gasp!) who were adopted AND donor concieved. I hope that it all works out well for you. Discovery is definitely a high! As someone who's gone through something sort of similar, I can say that having support from people with *actual expertise* on the issues and feelings that come up was as helpful, probably more helpful than, the support of loved ones. Best wishes to you and your extended family, may your journey not be covered in egg shells!
Oh yeah. My adopted friends know the struggle very well. I hope the industries change for the better ❤️
This is such a fascinating story and I hope that you are able to get what you need to feel at peace with this whole situation. Sounds like the universe is working with you here. Also not so patiently waiting for more updates 😉
Kudos for the courage to pursue all of this, Kait - and for the thoughtful approaches you’re taking to reach out to everyone involved. Thanks too for sharing your very personal experiences and emotions with us ... I wish you all good things as you head into the next leg of this fascinating journey!
❤️🥹
So cool! I think it’s super courageous to share this and think it’s awesome sharing the story, your experience, and feelings regarding this. Having such an honest open conversation I’m sure will make people feel way less alone.
Thanks, people rarely talk about being donor conceived but I think it’s something that makes me unique!
So happy for you ! I hope you get the info from your biological dad .
I am so happy for you. I was adopted at 6 weeks and always knew. My Mom must of told me in the bassinette. Like you, I just grew up knowing.
Knowledge is power!
I can’t imagine what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I think you’re incredibly brave to go searching. I hope you get all the information you need & whatever kind of relationship you would like with him and your siblings x
Thanks! It’s WILD but I weirdly haven’t been that affected by it. I think I always knew this would happen.
@@StateofKait I think that’s amazing, and I think your mum was wise to give you the information that has clearly prepped you for this.. she sounds great!
@@EmmmyLouisewe have a complicated relationship but that is something she handled very well
Oh my goodness Kait!!!! You’re inspiring me to break down and try 23 & me or Ancestry. I’m 52, 19 yrs ur senior, but now that both of my adoptive parents are gone(the last to pass, my dad in Aug of ‘22), moms been gone 10 years now, I’m thinking on trying to do some research. I am adopted, (May of ‘71), & born just south of LA in Downey county, & I have an older sister, approx two years older. I know my mother’s first name & maiden name, and the last name of my biological father. Did some FB searching several years ago now, and a friend, retired collegiate librarian, also asked permission to poke around, unfortunately it yielded nothing. But with these new DNA sites who knows, maybe that’s enough to start with!? So Kait, u may have pushed me to look! I’m finding the older I get, the more it weighs on my mind- and I too am an only child. That scene you described in the restaurant/bar, oh my gosh-I was practically hyperventilating along with you, lol! WOW!-it really is a small world after all......best wishes no matter where this new path takes you! Who knows 💁🏻♀️ maybe a year from now I will have my own story to tell.... ❤️ ❤❤❤❤
Best of luck to you!!
This is an amazing story! I think it would be so strange to be a sperm donor knowing that you have children out there but may never meet them. That is just so bizarre to me. So glad you were able to find that you have siblings!
And that right there is one of the problems with the industry. A lot of these donors don’t consider that they’re creating real humans prior to dominating. They just want quick money without considering the consequences.
Yay!!! You found a genetic counselor to work with!!
I did!!
Im waiting for your book❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
😂😂😂
I just found your channel and subscribed. My son was conceived with my cousin’s eggs and my husband sperm. The psychologist told us to tell our son as soon as he could understand and we did when he was 4-5 years old. He had a few questions and everything was fine after. We barely think about it now that he is 14. We do have a relationship with my cousin and it’s always an amazing story to tell. 🙂
I'm so glad you decided to tell him! It has never been a 'thing' for me because I've known my whole life. My half siblings were not so lucky. Three of them found out their fathers weren't their biological fathers until after their Dad's had passed. It's so sad.
@@StateofKait it is! 😢
That is the most incredible story that I have ever heard! I think that the Universe wants you to be in contact with your father/donor, so many coincidences, it’s unbelievable!
One day, not a very long time ago, my father casually told me that I potentially could have an older half sister, he wasn’t sure because the mother was married when she was “seeing” him. These people were living in Hungary, so it was kind of complicated, not for sure, and I didn’t see myself go and put the mess in that far away family. So I didn’t act on it but your situation is totally different, I totally understand that you need to contact your father/donor. If it had been about a potential father for me, probably I would have done the same thing as you are doing. Best of luck in your quest, I wish you the best.
Wow, that’s so interesting! With ancestry.com and 23andMe, I’m sure a lot of families are having similar conversations. Luckily, it’s never been an emotional / negative aspect of my life.
@@StateofKait Thank you for the names of the platforms, maybe I will try something there just out of curiosity.
Your parents are great to have told you the truth right away, it’s the only good way to go. It’s probably why you are so cool about it.
@@YayaBolender absolutely. I know quite a few people in the donor conceived community, and those who were told as adults had a much more difficult time processing the truth.
@@StateofKait I am not surprised by what you are saying. I knew a woman, as an adult, she discovered that her older sister had been adopted by her parents. She was so shocked, upset, angry that she couldn’t stop talking about it. And it was even not about her but about her sister. She was calling her parents liars. I could feel her pain. It seemed like it was making her love her sister even more.
I’m an only child and I have 2 older sisters on my dads side but I’m not in contact with. But I’m so glad that you found your family that’s amazing!!!
How do you like being an only child? I’ve always hated it 😂
@@StateofKait I like it for the most part but sometimes I wish I had a sibling
You need to write a book. This is so interesting. Hope that doesn’t sound creepy!
Not at all! I have a lot of stories to tell 😂
People need to stop and think before they speak on this subject and walk in your shoes.
If you have a health issue, you should know both sides of your family tree health wise.
Your half sisters sound awesome.
Go with your instincts and things will work out.
Will you go watch him perform and take your one sister?
Definitely wouldn’t see him without him knowing! I would never cross that boundary. I would only meet him one day if he wants to. I’ll be very respectful of his privacy.
I am so happy for you! I have two siblings from my dads side and my dad was a sperm donor in a sense. He never wanted me…still doesn’t and has two other kids.
Yeah I’m expecting that response, donors usually don’t want contact
@@StateofKait he would be so honored to know he has a daughter as wonderful, smart, beautiful, and talented as you. Just because it wasn’t good for me, It just might be great for you!
As an adoptee I am SO HAPPY for you!!!! You wanna talk about having no rights? Sis, I'm right there with you. It sucks.
Seriously. You know allllll about it, better than I do
OMG the lack of regulations around sperm donation is truly upsetting. And even if the donors tell the full truth when they donate, the sperm banks don't have to tell the truth about the donors. It's WILD.
Exactly, it's insane
I also have EDS, and my dad, my grandpa and 2 of my uncles are all hypermobile from what I can observe, (I don’t think they know what EDS is) and all my life I though that was just some funny little trait I got from my dad’s family, fast forward to now Im 26 and have horrible symptoms, I’m in pain everyday, can’t keep up with my sports etc etc. 😢😢😢😢😢
Ugh I’m so sorry. I have a second channel called “Kait gardner” that’s dedicated to chronic illness. You may find that content helpful
I just saw a documentary about this called “filling in the blanks.” I don’t wanna spoil it in case you want to watch it but there are a lot of parallels to your story!
Will watch! Thanks
I hope your email lands well with your biological father and you can get the medical records. Maybe being in the medical field will make him more understanding or likely to share medical records? 🤞
I hadn’t realized you were back to communicating with your mom more. I hope it’s been going well/healthily for you!
Family therapy has been helping. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever done but it has helped
Do any of your siblings have the same health issues you do? I love this stuff! Lol
Not that I know of! I’m only in contact with my half sisters but I know one of my half brothers doesn’t have health issues. My mom has a lot of health problems that align with EDS so I’m pretty sure I got it from my mom. Still, I do need the other half of my medical history.
Omg, did u talk to him??? :o im so curious ❤❤❤
🩺
Do you still get Botox? Or did you stop for a particular reason?
I get it once a year, I’m not particularly bothered by my forehead lines so I don’t feel the need to redo it the second it runs out. My face also metabolizes it extremely fast, which sucks
I don’t think it’s the universe doing funky stuff, I think it’s God ❤️
I don’t believe in god but you’re welcome to think differently 😊
I’m adopted so this was difficult to watch.
He IS your dad, he just didn’t raise you. A famous historian said DNA doesn’t lie, people do.
Sending you big hugs. I feel very differently, my biological father is not my Dad. That would be an insult to my Dad who raised me. We are all allowed to feel differently 😊
So why is it heartbreaking? At the end of the day, I’m sorry but for you, to say that adopted children are different is offensive. After the 80s and 90s, many kids were adopted.
They were not affected.
I’m honestly not sure what you’re arguing here, but just read some of the comments from adopted people in this video. A lot of them have significant struggles. You can’t gaslight their experience. I have several friends who were adopted and they have significant hardships and pain, but a lot of adopted friends who had an amazing experience! All I'm saying is that I partially understand some of the challenges that come with not knowing your genetics, but that doesn't mean everyone has had challenges.
@@StateofKaitohh fuck off. I’ve unsubscribed from you years ago but this video triggered me.
You’re putting hate into the adoption community both locally, regionally, and internationally.
And whether they are donors or adopted, they are children that need help from families that love them.
@@cms4229 I think this is a miscommunication, I would never in a million years suggest what you're implying. I'm sorry if I said something that triggered you. I'm trying to acknowledge that people who are adopted have a wide variety of experiences that can be both positive and negative! I'm not sure what I said that was hateful, but it certainly wasn't intentional. Sending you love.
@@StateofKait ok. we misunderstood. stay well and stay safe. happy thanksgiving!
That's not what she was saying...you are very self absorbed...
But maybe, like the guys I knew who went to a sperm bank to make money...they don't care about the kids who were his. It was a money thing. And he maybe be a really bad place in his life and may be just too depressed to deal with it. Just part of his past.
And that’s why so many of us donor kids are pushing to end minimalist donations, you shouldn’t be allowed to create a human if you can’t deal with the consequences of creating life. They all knew what they were doing.
The universe definitely wanted you to connect with your siblings! I'm so happy to hear you're getting to know your sisters. Sisters are so special, no matter when they come into your life! 🤍 - Britta
Totally, I can’t wait to meet them. One of them has very similar teeth to mine, which is fun
Good luck and I hope everything works out🩵
Wow! I had chills listening to this. How awesome you were able to find the donor but also some siblings you can have a relationship with. I’m a bio major and this kind of stuff is so frickin cool to me. I love genetics so much. I’ll literally just stand in a room of related people and study features. 😂 So happy for you. Good luck with donor.
That’s so cool! What a fascinating field of work