How To Attract A "Good" Man with Debi Pearl

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  • Опубліковано 29 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 410

  • @1dionysos606
    @1dionysos606 2 роки тому +318

    "No man wants a girl...." I'm (straight) man who wants a woman not a girl.

    • @jarvisjackson4833
      @jarvisjackson4833 2 роки тому +4

      yes just straw man via semantics

    • @georgeweaver9665
      @georgeweaver9665 Рік тому +4

      Please, don’t listen to the previous comment. I genuinely applaud someone like you for publicly speaking up about something like this.👍

  • @johannapipoli8397
    @johannapipoli8397 2 роки тому +444

    Love how she says MEN and GIRLS that’s not fucked up at all

    • @lilaboxx
      @lilaboxx 2 роки тому +43

      I didn't even notice that EWWWWWW

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 2 роки тому +73

      Yeah, whenever men complain how they "can't get girls", I tell them that this is good, because you shouldn't be going after minors.
      Sometimes I get "you know what I mean", and to that I say:
      "You should try saying what you mean instead of talking like a child predator."

    • @SA-mo3hq
      @SA-mo3hq 2 роки тому +16

      The perennial conservative Fruedian slip

    • @phantorang
      @phantorang 2 роки тому +3

      @@Nerobyrne So when a woman uses the term "boyfriend", she is talking like a child predator?

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 2 роки тому +26

      @@phantorang a starfish isn't a fish you know

  • @stever1705
    @stever1705 2 роки тому +176

    Do you notice how she always says "girl" when referring to the wife and "man" when referring to the husband? That has some unfortunate implications

    • @andrealuvshouse
      @andrealuvshouse 6 місяців тому +1

      That’s because she’s reading from the book and that’s how the book is written.

    • @stever1705
      @stever1705 6 місяців тому +2

      @@andrealuvshouse I'm talking about debbie, not Rachel

  • @FeministCatLadySpinster
    @FeministCatLadySpinster 2 роки тому +220

    My takeaway from this chapter was that you shouldn't develop feelings for someone until after you're already married.

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 2 роки тому +15

      Sounds kinda sdrawkcab, don’t it?

    • @hexonyou
      @hexonyou 2 роки тому +4

      honestly yes, that's pretty much the message. But these are people that believe you should "learn to love" your partner or, in lieu of that, build a marriage based on glorifying god and not about your own personal happiness/satisfaction/love. (a pretty hefty reminder of their beliefs being heavily rooted in grooming; keep the girl in the dark and then train her how you expect her to be as a person, and of course don't abuse her until she's legally bound to you through marriage).

    • @samwindmill8264
      @samwindmill8264 2 роки тому +5

      Your user name is probably throwing the Pearls into apoplectic fits

  • @stewieismyhomeboy
    @stewieismyhomeboy 2 роки тому +144

    I just really cannot fathom how it's okay for men to touch women because "they just can't control themselves" but Debi and Michael also think men should be in charge of everything. If men are such animalistic creatures that they can't control themselves, then maybe we shouldn't let them be in charge?

    • @synestia4005
      @synestia4005 2 роки тому +16

      Decent men would never ignore a woman when she says 'no'. No means no. Also the other way around. Most women and men are decent I believe.

    • @somik-i3x
      @somik-i3x 2 роки тому +19

      The point of that argument is to blame women. Logic be damn.

    • @cashwalk7253
      @cashwalk7253 Рік тому +1

      Exactly-the math’s not mathing.

  • @geraintthomas4343
    @geraintthomas4343 2 роки тому +292

    Not to put too fine a point but i think it's *great* for a woman to hit on me if she's attracted rather than pretend to be disinterested. Between sucking at reading into romantic situations and also actually respecting people's right to say no any attempt at "playing hard to get" = me taking that at face value and leaving her alone.

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 2 роки тому +81

      Exactly, as you should.
      I say this to as many people as possible:
      If she rejects your advances, either she's not interested, or she's playing mind games.
      In one scenario, she's toxic and not ready for a real relationship.
      In the other, you're an actual criminal if you keep pursuing.
      Neither of those scenarios are good, so ALWAYS accept the first "no".

    • @metademetra
      @metademetra 2 роки тому +26

      Evidence that this hurts men as much as women.
      The result is nobody knows how to talk to each other.

    • @corichin2156
      @corichin2156 2 роки тому +25

      I personally like to make the first move so I can't relate with that BUT I love women who wear perfume, makeup and are thick. My point is, men aren't robots, we like what we like. I don't appreciate these women jumping on the scene and telling women to act like robots. I think we as men (and people on the whole) should be allowed to speak for ourselves about what uniquely attracts us instead of have these people tell us how to dress and act.

    • @darlalathan6143
      @darlalathan6143 2 роки тому +11

      Exactly! In my old life as a man, I got two girlfriends in two different relationships, colleges and decades, because they seduced me. That's how I score now, as a woman, only it happens more often and starts on dance floors and in a sex club, lol!

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 2 роки тому +15

      Exactly-if a girl is hitting on me, that makes her seem assertive and confident, which are *highly* attractive traits imo
      Probably because I’m an unassertive, cowardly, self-conscious lump of flesh at my core 😂

  • @timeenoughatlast5910
    @timeenoughatlast5910 2 роки тому +136

    According to Debbie:
    Premise 1) All men think about sex all the time
    Premise 2) No man is capable of controlling his own obsession with sex
    Conclusion: Everyone else must control men's horniness for them. So, the whole of society must center around controlling men's horniness. But they are such delicate little flowers that we can't actually control them directly; rather, we must control their horniness by ensuring they never encounter anything that might, possibly, cause them to feel horny (even though that's actually impossible: see Premise 1). It's rather like keeping the pigs out of the garden by walling off the garden instead of the pigs (metaphor chosen intentionally).
    Now, I fundamentally disagree with the premises (not to mention they completely ignore a clear (at least) 10% of the human population with "alternate" sexualities), and I certainly don't agree with the conclusion--but IF the premises were true, then my conclusion would be: men shouldn't be in charge of ANYTHING; they seem completely incapable of controlling even the most fundamental aspect of their own being, which is the one (of a possible two) emotions they apparently have.

    • @jarvisjackson4833
      @jarvisjackson4833 2 роки тому

      yes actually, women sexualize themselves a lot these days, imagine being titillated by women, essentially sexually harassed, with sexual displays all day and then being gas lit that there is nothing sexual about it when the same women would complain about women on television being dressed the same way.

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 2 роки тому +2

      @mnch Trauma doesn’t make you smarter

    • @dorcaswinter8296
      @dorcaswinter8296 2 роки тому +1

      Spoken we so much truth. But the sad thing is that - people like Debbie Pearl would have no clue what to do with the truth.

    • @sarahrobertson634
      @sarahrobertson634 Рік тому

      Even dogs can be trained to control themselves.

  • @zaphodbeeblebrox2981
    @zaphodbeeblebrox2981 2 роки тому +156

    I mean we all know what a real man wants :
    A girl that is no strangers to love
    She should know the rules and so do I
    A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
    You wouldn't get this from any other guy

    • @lilaboxx
      @lilaboxx 2 роки тому +11

      dAMN IT every time

    • @edvh88
      @edvh88 2 роки тому +6

      That’s what I want too lol

    • @sarahmcmahon600
      @sarahmcmahon600 2 роки тому +3

      Nice username! Don’t panic!! 👌🏻👌🏻

    • @darlalathan6143
      @darlalathan6143 2 роки тому +7

      "Rickrolled" in the Comments section, lol!

    • @rebbi8548
      @rebbi8548 2 роки тому +2

      *woman. Other than that I completely agree

  • @Chocobo0Scribe
    @Chocobo0Scribe 2 роки тому +214

    Me an introverted ace: never mind me, I’ll just be here living my best life at 30 pursuing my masters in game development.

    • @Roadent1241
      @Roadent1241 2 роки тому +6

      Wheee, good luck! I'm just an indie developer!
      What kind of games do you wanna make~? I'll look out for them in future?

    • @dr.gwendolyncarter
      @dr.gwendolyncarter 2 роки тому +2

      Cool degree! Good luck!

    • @hannajung7512
      @hannajung7512 2 роки тому +2

      Sometimes I wish I were ace honestly. My strong sex drive paired with my ADHD (trouble controlling your emotions and impulses) got me in a lot of trouble and ruined my ability to make my degree at the university befor I even got to the first real exams.

    • @cam4636
      @cam4636 2 роки тому +1

      @@hannajung7512 I got bad news for ya, a sex drive doesn't go away because you're ace

  • @oskeewootwoot
    @oskeewootwoot 2 роки тому +42

    "You're too young to know" said by the same people who get married at 19/20 because of pressure from their church and family.

  • @AnneliesDeroy
    @AnneliesDeroy 2 роки тому +149

    Goodness, Debi wrote this like it's the Victorian era!
    There are authors of the actual Victorian Era like Jane Austen who wrote books with healthier relationship dynamics than this.

    • @Shadowclanwarrior246
      @Shadowclanwarrior246 2 роки тому +29

      And even with writers like Jane Austin, she was able to write her characters as human beings with their own emotions and drives. Including the female characters. They do have their problems, but historically speaking, women even back then all weren’t…*gestures to Debi’s book* whatever thin wallpaper Debi is portraying as the ‘ideal woman.’

    • @ClaireCopeland-n6y
      @ClaireCopeland-n6y 5 місяців тому

      Yes. Good on Jane Austen. Was thinking similar thing only yesterday 😊

  • @blueeyedchippewa8271
    @blueeyedchippewa8271 2 роки тому +135

    I found you for the atheist content, "but" stayed for your intelligence, kindness, the way you love on Khyra (&her snorting), and MOSTLY, the way you say, "but!" Thank you for all your hard work and great content. ❤️💕☺️

    • @pelu-mee
      @pelu-mee 2 роки тому +3

      Same 😄

    • @rosebud1659
      @rosebud1659 2 роки тому +1

      Hugely agree and relate to this statement!!!

    • @d6mafia13
      @d6mafia13 2 роки тому +2

      I love the way she says "but" also!

  • @vallisdaemonumofficial
    @vallisdaemonumofficial 2 роки тому +122

    When Rachel talks about Debi Pearl you know it's gonna be interesting 🔥

    • @crimreaper9981
      @crimreaper9981 2 роки тому +1

      Anything about the Pearls is going to be juicy 😂

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 2 роки тому

      That’s how I found her channel in the first place, so yeah! 😂

    • @cam4636
      @cam4636 2 роки тому

      Like examining a train wreck--fascinating, terrifying, and at least a little disgusting

  • @edvh88
    @edvh88 2 роки тому +113

    Debi is afraid the truth is getting out to girls & women: we can earn our own money, we can make our own way, we don’t “need” a man or anyone to support us. We can choose who or if we want anyone in our lives.

    • @DrewLSsix
      @DrewLSsix 2 роки тому +19

      As a man I only see this as a win for everyone. I've never particularly wanted to be the dominant breadwinner alpha or whatever, I wanted (and got) a partner who is a complete person on her own. We both were capable of living our own lives and chose to live our lives together, we shouldn't NEED one another, we should (assuming your wants actually do aligne thusly) WANT your partner.

    • @SS-yt9dr
      @SS-yt9dr 2 роки тому +3

      Amen! 👏

    • @jasperhernandez7364
      @jasperhernandez7364 2 роки тому +5

      Ok then but don't expect him to buy you shit.

    • @cam4636
      @cam4636 2 роки тому +7

      @@jasperhernandez7364 OK? Done. Who tf thinks men are really buying all the shit in any relationship that isn't a sugar baby situation from the get-go

    • @emexdizzy
      @emexdizzy 2 роки тому +4

      That and Debi seems like she doesn't want het women to know that some men find self confidence and self sustainability attractive and would be interested in them by labelling those guys as not "good" men.

  • @sydney.mp4
    @sydney.mp4 2 роки тому +61

    the fact she uses the word "princess" to describe how you should attract a man who isn't a pervert is so disturbing since princess is typically associated with younger girls and, especially in the context of it being a debi pearl book, i can't help but think that's exactly what she means - infantilize yourself in order to attract a "good" man. perhaps it's just me projecting what i know about the abuses in this church/josh duggar case/etc, but something tells me this would actually attract more perverts.

  • @Sableagle
    @Sableagle 2 роки тому +33

    Left music playing while watching this, and Gloria Gaynor just replied to Debi: "Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh, no, not I!"

  • @madisonbanks2010
    @madisonbanks2010 2 роки тому +124

    “Guys don’t like complaining or touchy-feely…” I have a lot stronger emotions than a non-autistic female and quite frankly I can’t remember a time when I was not put down for it.
    When I spoke out about my abuser, I was told “It’s not really that bad. I’m sure your exaggerating.” Same person ranted to my MOM that I am just a sensitive person and yk it’s just crazy that I would say something like that and he just feels so bad for the abuser.
    There definitely needs to be more people speaking up about this imo.

    • @Struudeli
      @Struudeli 2 роки тому +15

      Many autistic people, especially women, have greater empathy and sensitivity than "regular" people.
      We are very good at feeling other people's emotions and many small things can touch us deeply in good and bad. The problem is communicating those emotions.
      Big things like abuse can crush anyone, but for autistic people it can often be worse, because we're so easily misunderstood anyway.
      I am so sorry you've had to go through this and I know how it feels. Sometimes it seems like people don't even try to understand.
      I hope future has everything good to offer to you.

    • @margaretjohnson6259
      @margaretjohnson6259 2 роки тому +5

      i'm sorry that happened to you. it was never your fault.

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 2 роки тому +3

      I mean, no one likes a chronic complainer, but people who *never* complain or never show some emotional vulnerability are either sociopaths or extremely insecure and put on a front
      Neither sorts of people are ideal partners, one for obvious reasons and the latter because that kind of emotional baggage is going to ruin relationships (a girlfriend of mine a few years back had exactly that problem-I gradually realized she wasn’t as self-confident and in-control of herself as she acted, and that eventually led to me ending our relationship after she took out some of her problems on me one too many times)

    • @hannajung7512
      @hannajung7512 2 роки тому +2

      A man who doesn't like to hear a person complain maybe should just stay away from people.
      Also: in my experience most men LOVE being in a relationship were they can be themself and show their emotions. Its just that in our culture they are far to often socialiced to not do it. But have you ever watched men at a soccer game? When socially allowed they are just as emotional and touchy-feely as women are.

    • @cam4636
      @cam4636 2 роки тому

      @@warlordofbritannia Cool cool cool, can we try out a fun little game here called "don't call people mentally ill as an insult & also not act like the solution to being insecure is just 'be more secure'"

  • @Beckisphere
    @Beckisphere 2 роки тому +45

    Everyone deserves to be with someone who looks at them the way Kyra looks at Rachel!

  • @summeryoung1026
    @summeryoung1026 2 роки тому +59

    As an autistic person, yikes on the disease part. It's a disability but the reason it is disabling is people are unwilling to open their minds to different people's ways of being. Society disables us.

    • @darlalathan6143
      @darlalathan6143 2 роки тому +4

      Exactly! By requiring face-to-face job interviews, eye contact and "masking," etc.

    • @hannajung7512
      @hannajung7512 2 роки тому +7

      I am an ADHD brain, and I feel you.
      My disability goes beyond people being unwilling to accept my way of being, but is still caused by the necessities of an urban civilisation, with its strict structures, monotone environment and lack of stimuli for my brain.

    • @blackswan4486
      @blackswan4486 2 роки тому

      @@zalamael creep

  • @corichin2156
    @corichin2156 2 роки тому +60

    You know, as a guy who loves thick girls who wear sweet smelling perfume and sexy makeup, I feel absolutely offended at everyone, especially mentors like this talking over me and telling girls what I want when they don't even know me! Like no, you are ruining it for me! Let them wear the makeup and be thick and perfumy, I like that! But most importantly, let women dress however the hell they want. I like what I like and I promise you there are guys (and girls if you're into that) that have their type as well and will love you for it. Let's not turn women, or men into robots.

    • @RainbowFlowerCrow
      @RainbowFlowerCrow 2 роки тому +15

      Hear hear! 👏👏👏👏👏
      As a woman loving woman, all I care about is a decent connection, and that we care about each other!

    • @hannajung7512
      @hannajung7512 2 роки тому +9

      Imagine we would stop people telling people how they should be to appeal to potential partners. Imagine we would encourage young humans to just be themselves (in the limits of common decency of course, being an asshole to others is not "being yourself" in an acceptable way). Imagine these people would then be able to "see what they get" in the first couple of hours of meeting a person, instead of having to peel of layer and layer of bullshit societal norms. Imagine people could actually end up with the person they were looking for.
      Wouldn't that be kind of a good step into the right direction?

  • @Resilient_Sage88
    @Resilient_Sage88 2 роки тому +79

    The pearl clutching was so good lol also don't you know by now? The man is never, ever at fault no matter what he does in Debi's weird little universe. He's abusive? You did something to make him mad. He tricked you? Well you were talking to him.
    It's super gross, but thanks for discecting this trash Rachel.

    • @Mels0103
      @Mels0103 2 роки тому +14

      I do believe they have literally said that if a man is abusive then it's the wife's fault for not being "sweet" enough or something.

    • @blackswan4486
      @blackswan4486 2 роки тому +3

      Her husband is talking through her

    • @Resilient_Sage88
      @Resilient_Sage88 2 роки тому +2

      @@blackswan4486 Or she's parroting what her Groomer brainwashed her to think.

  • @erenisnothere379
    @erenisnothere379 2 роки тому +26

    4:56 as an extremely introverted lesbian with some social anxiety, I am both offended and glad not having to "meet cool dudes." 😂

  • @lilaboxx
    @lilaboxx 2 роки тому +42

    Also like... Does Debi know you can be platonic friends with men?? Like of you're already in a committed relationship and you flirt with other people or go further is definitely an issue but just talking to them because they're people with common interests? Like friends do?

    • @JaneDoe_123
      @JaneDoe_123 2 роки тому +14

      Given that she advocates women basically don't interact with anyone except their husbands - not even people in the same church, not even fellow "godly women" - I'd say no, she doesn't.

    • @lilaboxx
      @lilaboxx 2 роки тому +12

      @@JaneDoe_123 that's honestly scary, even if I was in a relationship rn I wouldn't give up my friends for them...

    • @JaneDoe_123
      @JaneDoe_123 2 роки тому +10

      @@lilaboxx me neither, guess we're just not godly women lmaoo.
      Seriously now, it's beyond disgusting, much like everything that comes from her. It's actually incredible, she's one of those people that isn't right in any occasion nor topic, not even by accident.

  • @Neddyhk
    @Neddyhk 2 роки тому +58

    Based on the way she talks about emotions and compliance, Debi Pearl may be speaking from a position of sociopathy/psychopathy(technically "Alexithymia" but people are more familiar with the former terms), where the presence of emotions are so slight that the emotions are only used in order to manipulate others (This is reinforced by her saying "don't laugh" when she's threatening her frightened children). In that case, the "suppressing emotions" bit is a matter of tactical maneuvering, rather than actually asking for the person to deny their own emotional inner lives.
    This also ties into her talk about "types of men" where each type seems a clear archetype of Sociopathic/Psychopathic behavior. Since those men are the most clearly sociopathic/psychopathic, this is consistent with sociopathic/psychopathic behavior: The belief that people are all surface level with little to no inner emotional life, and that only sociopathic/psychopathic people are living "authentically" while everyone else is pretending to feel emotions.
    Interpreting it through this lens, a lot of her more confusing and strange statements make sense: You combine the deliberate adoption of a set of rules as a system of control (Christianity), and an inability to understand others' inner lives (Sociopathy/Psychopathy), and her concentration on reputational consequences above all else and her blaming the victim make perfect sense as making sense from her perspective, rather than just idiocy and misogyny.
    Of course, there's a lot of idiocy and misogyny baked into it, but those are *decisions* made by the writer: One is not born misogynist and ignoring all other sources of information, one is convinced.

  • @MKSpeakz
    @MKSpeakz 2 роки тому +26

    I’m so sorry that you had that kind of childhood, I can relate and I was just diagnosed with CPTSD. No child ever deserves to be in that sort of situation and I agree, never suppress emotions. Working on healing from witnessing/being abused takes so much work and I am so proud of the work you’ve done a far ❤️❤️❤️

  • @ravale1868
    @ravale1868 2 роки тому +18

    My soon to be wife has a quality I cherish verry much: she talks with me l about her feelings, insecurities, wishes and complains. The kind of woman Debi describes sound terrible. If I mess up she let's me know. How can I do better if I don't know what could be better. And as for "be quiet and don't complain".. My Fiance can curse hard and loud enough to make a Berserker blush. And by Odins beard I love that woman!

  • @metademetra
    @metademetra 2 роки тому +48

    Debi honestly sounds miserable. So much talk about casual women getting bad men and old maids, and she never considers the possibility that there might be women that are happy not living like her. She sounds so bitter and angry at younger women that are still having fun or trying to feel themselves first.
    (Edit) #18 Debi ignores the obvious solution, being to *stay single and not get married.*

    • @annabeinglazy5580
      @annabeinglazy5580 2 роки тому +5

      Seriously If the world and every man in it was Like debi describes, i would get a bunch of pets and never get married.
      Tho im bi, so I'd probably Just Not date men and instead live Out a gay cottage core fantasy. As far from debi as humanly possible.

    • @Mels0103
      @Mels0103 2 роки тому +5

      If she truly practices and believes everything she preaches then I have no doubt that she IS miserable. And knowing what I know about her life so far, I wouldn't be surprised.

    • @komal146
      @komal146 2 роки тому +4

      Sounds like she's justifying her miserable marriage. "It could've been worse, I'm married, im accepted, it could be worse , i shouldn't complain, i shouldn't..."

    • @Roadent1241
      @Roadent1241 2 роки тому +1

      I thought *I* was miserable, people SAY I'm miserable because of my messed up depressed views BUT I DON'T ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO GET INTO ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS JUST TO AVOID LONLINESS!
      I haven't been groomed by someone my parents' age since I was a starting teen either, thankfully I'm too stupid (or hurt since childhood?) to trust people NOT to hurt me?
      Might well be victim blaming but why not just ignore this dad-aged dude in the first place, all of this could have been avoided!
      But then we wouldn't have books to use as warnings so.... hmm.... Which would we prefer....?
      One to save the many I guess? Whatever that quote is?

  • @MorgenPeschke
    @MorgenPeschke 2 роки тому +20

    Ok, so I could be wrong, but your chance of being that adorable old couple unapologetically flirting their way through their 90s is gonna be waaaaaay higher if you start as an adorable young couple flirting their way through their 20s or 30s 🤷

  • @ElementalWhispers
    @ElementalWhispers 2 роки тому +23

    Sorry for all the women who "remained homebound too long" over the last two years and have become "hidden old maids"!

  • @maninalift
    @maninalift 2 роки тому +37

    Let me guess, this is avmctually going to be "how to attract an *abusive* man", and the answer is going to be "act like a naive and obedient child"
    EDIT - pretty much. How did I guess?

  • @kierangorman3052
    @kierangorman3052 2 роки тому +36

    “Many men are either weaklings or so sexed up...”
    Oh, so some casual misandry as well as the misogyny. Good to see Debi’s sexism goes both ways! Honestly, this is the women who wrote a book about others of her gender not respecting men enough?

  • @caseycronan9217
    @caseycronan9217 2 роки тому +8

    Lil Kyra is just so precious.

  • @_cherry_soda_
    @_cherry_soda_ 2 роки тому +8

    “Make brief eye contact and ✨ blush ✨” what in the anime-

    • @Ingemaja
      @Ingemaja 2 роки тому +2

      “Se- se- senpai? 😳🥺😍” (Debi would be mad if we added a nosebleed here)

  • @mst3kharris
    @mst3kharris 2 роки тому +85

    I’m forty-four and I’m eight days into my breast cancer diagnosis. I suspect Debi would tell me God is punishing me for not having kids and letting my plumbing go to waste.
    Eat me, Debi. This isn’t my fault.

    • @lilaboxx
      @lilaboxx 2 роки тому +20

      Hi stranger on the internet, I wish you a lot of strength to get through this 💜💜💜

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 2 роки тому +7

      It sure is weird that god is somehow all-powerful, yet things happen that he doesn't like.
      They keep comparing him to parents, because parents punish kids for wrong-doing. But, that's because parents cannot control their children, so they have to somehow convince them that good things are good and bad things are bad.
      God can literally just beam all this info into our heads, with perfect logical justification for everything.
      Or he could make it impossible to do things that make the world worse.
      It's amazing how they don't realize what they're doing.

    • @lesanimaux4416
      @lesanimaux4416 2 роки тому +2

      Debi would probably also try to sell you essential oils and not just because they smell nice. Good luck, cancer's a b*tch.

    • @meredithnavin1358
      @meredithnavin1358 2 роки тому +2

      Good luck!

    • @mst3kharris
      @mst3kharris 2 роки тому +2

      @@lilaboxx Thank you! I’m trying to think of it as the biggest adventure I’ve ever been on. 🙂

  • @ishathakor
    @ishathakor 2 роки тому +12

    that whole part about catching his eye and then blushing.... that's what makes people think i'm flirting with them even when i'm clearly not. because i smile a lot and laugh at pretty much anything regardless of who i'm interacting with. this whole subtle signals thing.. come on its 2022. we can just talk like adults. if you like someone, tell them. don't pull this nonsense.
    ALSO as someone who has some very close friends who i've only ever spoken to on the internet, it's very possible to get to know someone very well on the internet. it takes longer to build the trust you need to start sharing personal stuff but it can still be done and depends on how good at communication you are as well. good communication is the basis of any relationship, not just romantic ones, and can be done through any medium of communication and doesn't have to happen face to face. unfortunately, debi pearl doesn't think you should be communicating well with your partner at all

  • @catpoke9557
    @catpoke9557 2 роки тому +11

    She could've made the story something like "This man was good and they loved each other deeply, but the other man was sexy!" to make the ending a bad one. Instead she straight up went "She hated this guy's guts and didn't even want to be with him. In the end, she wasn't with him!" and acted like it was a bad thing. I'm convinced she doesn't just want people to be vulnerable to predators. She wants them to actively seek them out. She sounds spiteful and like she wants everyone to suffer the same way she did. In what way is NOT getting with someone you hate a bad ending?

  • @geraintthomas4343
    @geraintthomas4343 2 роки тому +5

    Oh god you are pushing through these. Feel free to take mental health breaks between these to give yourself time to recover from this crap...

  • @cobblegen1204
    @cobblegen1204 2 роки тому +16

    21:15
    While the concept of the persona is very prominent online, it appears to me that what Debbie is advocating for is a complete disconnection from all people outside the religious circle. I have made some of the best friends I’ve ever had online, people who were as genuine as they come. The internet is a place in which you can meet all sorts of people, and discuss all sorts of ideas. Perhaps that is why Debbie placed such a focus on the texting and emailing as her sin?

    • @cobblegen1204
      @cobblegen1204 2 роки тому +1

      P.S. I know she claimed that texting in itself isn’t a sin, but her language from previous paragraphs contradicts this later claim.

  • @pauline_f328
    @pauline_f328 2 роки тому +2

    The dog noises make this video so much better

  • @mplbooks
    @mplbooks 2 роки тому +27

    Stepford Wives: Christian Edition
    Also, do you blame a "chocolate bar" for having been licked? Wouldn't you be mad at the person who licked it if you had planned to "consume" it? So, to your point: WHY blame Jane for being duped by Mr. Florida?

  • @liamodonovan6610
    @liamodonovan6610 2 роки тому +28

    Debi is so misinformed about everything she thinks everyone is the exactly the same their whole lives you are much wiser than your age you are an amazing beautiful intelligent inspiring womn according to debi it's always the womans fault even if she got r**ed love you rachel you and kyra make an awesome team

  • @KireiC
    @KireiC 2 роки тому +17

    Wife: "Hey babe, you mind taking out the garbage before I start dinner?"
    Husband: "GOD YOU'RE WAY TOO ASSERTIVE UUUGGGHHHH"
    Criminy, Debi. If I took your advice I couldn't even kindly ask my husband to brush his teeth due to morning breath - because that's just too assertive! I should just never ask for his help, never speak up if he offends me, and never encourage him to develop professionally, because that's me, the wife, bossing him around. I'd have to just swallow all my thoughts and feelings until one of us dies.
    Sounds great! /sarcasm

    • @synestia4005
      @synestia4005 2 роки тому +2

      Husband: 'setting the dinner table' while saying "Already taken care of. Do you need help with anything else, Schatz?"
      Debi: "That wife is disgusting, she makes the husband do all the stuff"
      Husband: "No, I want to do my part. I would feel bad to just sit in a chair and put my feet up, Debi"
      Debi: "......"
      Husband: 'Debi you have a very obsolete view. Men can cook, women can earn more money and men don't fall in a crisis because of it. And the other way around. A healthy relationship is working together not one part serving the other part, that would be called an abusive relationship.'

  • @iloveplasticbottles
    @iloveplasticbottles 2 роки тому +6

    Day gets better when you upload, Rachel!

  • @synestia4005
    @synestia4005 2 роки тому +6

    Yeah. People change with their goals. We all have seen it. The friend that never wanted to be father or mother and then became just that and with joy and and no regrets.

  • @malkam.7543
    @malkam.7543 2 роки тому +2

    I love your older videos so much, but the new addition of Kyra's soft snuffle-breathing as she waits for pets is absolute perfection! Your dog is an absolute treasure and must be protected at all costs. Also, Fat Lassie is now how I will write down my weight on surveys.

  • @emexdizzy
    @emexdizzy 2 роки тому +5

    The misogyny aside, Debi also really hates men here, too. Like, any kind of guy who wants to be chased, enjoys his having girls start the dynamic off, thinks its hot when his girl boss career woman partner picks up the tab, or would be into a fem-dom relationship she labels as "not one of the good ones". Honestly, I feel like Debi thinks only traditionally toxically masculine men who are insecure any woman anywhere might be better at something than he is should be included amongst "good men". You can even hear it in her writing, she *admits* to the het female reader that there are guys out there who'd be into them the way they are but quickly brushes that aside and says these are not "good" men to want long term relationships with.
    She wants every girl set up with a toxic POS and thinks every man who isn't a toxic POS is worthless as a man, basically. Fuck that.

  • @sailingneil
    @sailingneil 2 роки тому +3

    Rachel's description of the man in the story is spot on.

  • @thegillmachine
    @thegillmachine 2 роки тому +8

    Im so glad the church I grew up in was much more progressive than these kind of beliefs. They are all about celebrating each other in a marriage and that can include a career for a woman lol. Toxic in other ways but that combined w my matriarch family I thank endlessly for not getting me into this spiral

  • @SuperElizabeth4ever
    @SuperElizabeth4ever 2 роки тому +2

    the way Coops looks at Rachel… it’s like she’s his entire world. every time i see it my heart swells a little

  • @bedlingtoncandycrush1008
    @bedlingtoncandycrush1008 2 роки тому +11

    If I've learned anything since this pandemic has started - it's how much people want to feel like they're in control, even at their own expense.
    Debi Pearl wants to imagine a world where only three types of men, women, single women (and whatever else) exist. Everything that exists in reality must also fit in her imagined system. The "Bad" categories seem very broad, while the single "Good" category is fairly narrow. The good woman is centred; everything "too left" is "loose and cheap" and everything "too right" is "silent flower" or whatever she called them. Why? Because Debi Pearl is what she herself considers an ideal woman and an ideal woman is Debi Pearl. It's a circular definition. "Mary-sue" if you will. The system she imagines exists so that SHE can give her own life meaning. And every new convert is like an affirmation that she's correct and that her life does have meaning. In reality, she's just afraid of non-existence of "objective" meaning of life.
    She's truly afraid of freedom.

  • @spidermiss2426
    @spidermiss2426 2 роки тому +6

    Did debi listen to Ursula from the little mermaid? "She who holds her tongue gets a man" "They're not interested in conversation; true gentleman avoid it when they can"

    • @jessiek7041
      @jessiek7041 2 роки тому +1

      It's funny to me because it's worked out the exact opposite in my experience! I'm an absolute chatterbox (I was actually spanked for talking to much when I was little... didn't change anything) I met a wonderful guy when I was 17 and just talked his ears off.... we've been together for 12 years now. I think it's important to just be yourself.

  • @Raz.C
    @Raz.C 2 роки тому +3

    What a happy doggie. She (?) looks perfectly content with life, thriving in her pocket-dimension of bliss. Her (?) pet human is taking care of her, providing the correct amounts of food, water and love and she (?) gets to chase as much wildlife as can be found in a city. Almost makes me wish I were a doggie...

  • @PidgeyHowler
    @PidgeyHowler 2 роки тому +4

    Firstly, I am not saying the metaphor of comparing living people to objects is good. Its terrible. Humans are not objects to buy, sell, or trade. This is a separate commentary entirely. The idea that someone won't appreciate something because it was cheap or easy to get is ridiculous. If I go to buy a video game and its one sale, I love that. I feel like I got a great deal. If I go to the gas station and get a buy one get one lemonade, that's amazing. Things you get for less can absolutely still have value because you were already willing to give more for them. In some ways, they can have more value.

  • @FasterOstrich
    @FasterOstrich 2 роки тому +17

    But how do I attract a girl like Rachel Oates, that's the real question lmao 😂

  • @revenantravings
    @revenantravings 2 роки тому +7

    Why is it men are supposed to be the leaders women must submit and cut off all emotion in order to serve, but they're SO easy to lead astray that touching one's arm is enough to make him cheat? Are these the bulwark and support of the home, or are they ravenous animals you can lead around with a coy smile? If it's the latter, why the HELL are they the 'leaders' of the family?

  • @synestia4005
    @synestia4005 2 роки тому +3

    Good that there are reasonable youtubers like you. Keep up the good job :)

  • @punk_loki4294
    @punk_loki4294 2 роки тому +2

    Khyra is making Minecraft zombie sounds and I love her. I have a Pit Bull who also makes happy snoring noises

  • @notabear287
    @notabear287 2 роки тому +12

    oml i was stomaching this fine until the "after all, men are visual creatures" YUCK. NASTY. that one got a *visceral* reaction out of me 🤣 such a loaded, wrong statement that she PUBLISHED, she manages to be purely rancid

  • @BioRose25
    @BioRose25 2 роки тому +1

    I don't think what I think about Debi and her books would be considered appropriate for the UA-cam community standards. Thank you so much for speaking out against this for the girls that never knew a different way.

  • @JulianGreystoke
    @JulianGreystoke 2 роки тому +8

    Now I'm just picturing Kyra trying to edit videos. 🤣

    • @Sableagle
      @Sableagle 2 роки тому +5

      I think Debi needs a cat for an editor:
      "Fuck this nonsense." _{delete}_
      "Fuck that nonsense." _{delete}_
      "Fuck all of this nonsense." _{delete}_
      "Fuck this nonsense in particular." _{delete}_
      "Fuck this house." _{moves to Krafty Keelah's place}_

  • @nofreewill
    @nofreewill 2 роки тому +1

    As an atheist, I have learned to view the world around me without any artificial meaning, and giving meaning to it would make a fairly explanable world look unknown and mysterious. One thing that reminds me is how we used to treat people with mental disabilities as criminals and lock them in cells and treat them harshly, and now we understand what some of these mental disabilities are, so now we treat them as pataints rather than criminals. And this is the same thing happening with men nowadays. Rather than understanding these behaviours with scientific knowledge like evolution and psychology, we just blame the person and label them as harmful and basically outcast them. After that, these men generally choose to end themselves or cause harm to others.
    People in this civilization have trouble understanding that things like free will, good, evil, and love are very pseudoscientific concepts. They are not real. How can a person have free will when every other decision they make is influenced by their previous experience, and experience changes at random, so our decision is controlled by something random? We know this in science, but even most self-proclaimed progresives are scientifically illiterate.

  • @sarahmyers9775
    @sarahmyers9775 2 роки тому +27

    It sounds like Debi also has a verrrry low opinion of men - they’re all hormonal horndogs that just “can’t help themselves” 🙄🙄 single mama to a teenage son here. My 14 yr old is more mature than most of the “grown men” in these stories and I’m damn proud of him and of the fact I left his abusive dad. The Pearls would probably say that I’m ruining him 😂🤣🤦‍♀️

    • @annabeinglazy5580
      @annabeinglazy5580 2 роки тому +8

      If your son is debi pearl's darkest nightmare, you're doing everything right! Keep it Up and watch him grow into everything debi feared! 😂

    • @sarahmyers9775
      @sarahmyers9775 2 роки тому +2

      @@annabeinglazy5580 oh yes lol I think a boy being raised solely by his mother without a man in the home definitely qualifies as a nightmare scenario to the Pearls. Also, I don’t subscribe to the idea of “waiting until marriage” I know that my son might wait, but also may not decide to so we’ve talked about.. *GASP*..SAFE sex 😲 and protection, respect, consent, STIs, pregnancy etc; everything that the Pearls would be horrified to hear 😬

    • @vidyasreeram2587
      @vidyasreeram2587 2 роки тому

      @@sarahmyers9775 it's couldn't be *gasp* good communication?!!!
      Debi would probably have a fit,like pointed out earlier.
      Good on you for leaving the abusive dad as well. Debi would probably say the abuse was your fault 🙄

  • @Anasteroiddestroyer
    @Anasteroiddestroyer 2 роки тому +2

    Your humour and Kyra's pig noises makes me not rage quit the video because the stuff Debbie says awakens full blown anger in me.

  • @katutaistelija
    @katutaistelija 2 роки тому +4

    Debi's male archetypes: 1. Charles Manson, 2. a piece of wet cardboard, 3. Charlie Sheen.

    • @dumfriesspearhead7398
      @dumfriesspearhead7398 2 роки тому +2

      Yes. High Value Men (apart from the cardboard).

    • @HangryOnPaws
      @HangryOnPaws 2 роки тому +1

      Oh my gods! It's my favourite boy band. The Propaganda Overtones! With its three famous members - Cardboard Cut-out of that Shutterstock Guy Which Got Rained On! He's the crowd pleaser. Charles Manson - he's the shit one. And Charlie Sheen - he's only here because he's blackout drunk and staggered onto stage before vomiting into the mic (the band's signature hit).

  • @MrMomma93
    @MrMomma93 2 роки тому +1

    The way your dog looks at you when you speak 😍

  • @yaboyharv
    @yaboyharv 2 роки тому +1

    the absolute love and adoration from Kyra at 18:36

  • @cristlewrite7944
    @cristlewrite7944 2 роки тому +5

    12:36 Wait...I'm sorry...what??? This man QUIT HIS JOB and MOVED because a girl touched his ARM?! LMAO, I can't stop laughing XD

  • @sfFIRESTORM33
    @sfFIRESTORM33 2 роки тому +3

    The audio has a small fairly consistent rubbing of a mic type sound. Oh is that the Dog? That can probably be minimized by changing the noise gate. Interesting video

    • @RachelOates
      @RachelOates  2 роки тому +1

      It’s my fault, I’m still getting used to where to clip this mix and my hair kept hitting it! It’s something I’m continuing to work on :)

  • @atan7260
    @atan7260 2 роки тому +3

    that Eminem line "Fuck you Debbie!" really fits here huh?

  • @JaneDoe_123
    @JaneDoe_123 2 роки тому +6

    Why is it that when I heard "grabbers" the first thing that came to my mind were the creatures from Tremors?

  • @RainbowFlowerCrow
    @RainbowFlowerCrow 2 роки тому +1

    I love Kyra so much; she has such a sweet disposition, and I love her little sounds💕😭💞🐕💜

  • @salo6724
    @salo6724 2 роки тому +2

    I'm sick and I also don't drink alcohol in general, so I'm just gonna play this drinking game with water, need to hydrate :)

  • @kamaleinoelle
    @kamaleinoelle 2 роки тому

    The way Kyra looks at you! 🥺💕

  • @mayaroseakennasferu5814
    @mayaroseakennasferu5814 2 роки тому +3

    XD oh no. Not only am I married to a woman, I met her online. We've been married going on 5 years in October and it's the best relationship I've had in my life.

  • @maiax1468
    @maiax1468 2 роки тому +1

    Your dog looks at your so lovingly omg

  • @Emiliapocalypse
    @Emiliapocalypse 2 роки тому +4

    The voice of reason is back! Thank you, ma’am!! Love your sweater, btw, where’d ya get it? ♥️

  • @KaylaNoelle1
    @KaylaNoelle1 2 роки тому +3

    Michael is 100% an abusive creep and I'd feel bad for Debbie if she wasn't trying SO hard to drag other women into the same situation.

  • @bjohns85
    @bjohns85 2 роки тому +3

    Tell me the men in your life are pathologically insecure without telling me the men in your life are pathologically insecure

  • @marshmallow4646
    @marshmallow4646 2 роки тому +3

    😅 your videos seem to be the only ones I catch this early, ig I'm usually on UA-cam around this time

  • @lydia4382
    @lydia4382 2 роки тому +1

    Great video, I can't believe these people exist! Where did you get that shirt? So cool!

  • @SA-mo3hq
    @SA-mo3hq 2 роки тому +15

    All well and good Debi, but what if you want a dude who's a Superfreak capable of more than 20 seconds Lights Off Missionary? What if you are muscled Dommy Mommy who wants a nice smooth femboi to lick your abs? What if you want to date Garrus?
    Debi?
    DEBI?!

    • @synestia4005
      @synestia4005 2 роки тому +1

      Garrus? From Mass Effect? :D

    • @SA-mo3hq
      @SA-mo3hq 2 роки тому

      @@synestia4005 The one and only. Galactic Best Boi and Calibrator extraodinaire.

    • @synestia4005
      @synestia4005 2 роки тому +1

      @@SA-mo3hq One of the best characters in the Mass Effect universe for sure :)

  • @somik-i3x
    @somik-i3x 2 роки тому +1

    The story about the woman touching the man arm and leg made me think that Debi was raise in the 1920' and got time travel to the 21th century.

  • @bennienthejet89
    @bennienthejet89 2 роки тому +1

    Bravo!! Amazing video (as usual). Hi Kyra!

  • @OrdenJust
    @OrdenJust 2 роки тому +2

    Yes, you are right, Rachel. Women are not objects.
    On another note, and à propos of nothing in particular (I don't even know why the thought popped into my mind), have you ever considered doing a reading and review and appraisal of the e. e. cummings poem, She Being Brand New?
    :)

  • @rosehearts8380
    @rosehearts8380 2 роки тому +9

    "a nice chaste girl who didn't text." Yeah because that was the problem. That poor imaginary chaste girl😭

    • @RainbowFlowerCrow
      @RainbowFlowerCrow 2 роки тому +2

      Sounds like a 5 year old who's too young for a phone, not a grown woman with a job and emails to check and coworkers to keep in contact with 🙄🤦‍♀️

  • @brettmarlar4154
    @brettmarlar4154 2 роки тому +11

    Kyra clearly doesn't like it when you cover Debbie. She can tell how upset it makes you. Of course, we understand it's important that you cover it, but she doesn't.
    "Act like a princess"? That will only attract those with a princess fetish. (Not that I'm kink shaming, because I'm not.)
    Oh, and men hate it when we get clear cut signs of interest. 🙄🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ (That's sarcasm.)
    Basically women should do the opposite of what Debbie says 99.99% of the time.
    Yeah, because only men misrepresent themselves online.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ How many of those "Women online" are those actual women, and not men posing as women looking to scam people?

  • @sorrynugget4547
    @sorrynugget4547 2 роки тому +1

    Wow earliest I’ve ever been to one of your videos! Great one as always (doubled in value with Kyra there! Haha)

  • @meredithnavin1358
    @meredithnavin1358 2 роки тому +8

    You needed to take hallucinogenic mushrooms to live through this book, didn't you?

  • @oliverhenry4050
    @oliverhenry4050 2 роки тому +2

    When it comes to investing, nothing pays off more than educating yourself with the right information from the right source. That's how you get rich.

    • @annabelkatherine6441
      @annabelkatherine6441 2 роки тому

      Yeah!! ‌Due to the fall in the stock market, I don't think it's advisable holding, it would be more beneficial and yield more profit if you actually trade on cryptocurrency I've been trading since the dip, and I've made so much profit trading.

    • @globalpandemic8450
      @globalpandemic8450 2 роки тому

      @@annabelkatherine6441 ‌How does this whole process works? I'm interested in investing in crypto but still confused by the fluctuations in price🙁

    • @annabelkatherine6441
      @annabelkatherine6441 2 роки тому

      @@globalpandemic8450 ‌that's why you need the help of a professional like Mr Dave Jevans who trade and understand the market more to earn good income, these professionals understand the market like it's there own farm and make s maximum profit for investors.

    • @mortenbolin7481
      @mortenbolin7481 2 роки тому

      ‌I heard that his strategies are really good

    • @commerceusa
      @commerceusa 2 роки тому

      ‌My first investment with Mr Dave Jevans gave me the assurance that have made me invest without the fear of losing, I got four of my friends involved with him already

  • @UlexiteTVStoneLexite
    @UlexiteTVStoneLexite 2 роки тому +17

    My husband and I got married at 22 and we fully admit it was a huge mistake. Would not recommend. Honestly if it wasn't for tax purposes and for discounts that you get simply for being married I wouldn't recommend getting married at all in the first place but unfortunately we do have reasons as to why we need to get married because we live in a backwards society

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 2 роки тому

      Yeah the discounts are great until you try to get divorced 💀

    • @UlexiteTVStoneLexite
      @UlexiteTVStoneLexite 2 роки тому +1

      @@Nerobyrne or there's absolutely no problem at all because our finances are completely separate and we can agree to an amicable divorce?
      If we were to get divorced absolutely neither of us would be losing money.

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 2 роки тому

      @@UlexiteTVStoneLexite well, I sure hope you're right, but I think you underestimate the massive incompetence of many governments.

    • @UlexiteTVStoneLexite
      @UlexiteTVStoneLexite 2 роки тому +1

      @@Nerobyrne I think you underestimate how divorce procedures actually work. You can have an amicable divorce and carry out your own divorce proceedings with very little government involvement

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 2 роки тому

      @@UlexiteTVStoneLexite I know you can.
      But it doesn't always go that way.

  • @Grim_Beard
    @Grim_Beard 2 роки тому +11

    Debi's tale of 'Jane' is predictably appalling, but still a better love story than Twilight.

  • @kelleyceccato7025
    @kelleyceccato7025 2 роки тому +1

    Reminds me of the song "A Hundred Easy Ways to Lose a Man" from the musical "Wonderful Town": "Just be more well-informed than he, you'll never hear 'O Promise Me.'" But that song was obviously intended as irony, while Debi Pearl is completely serious and sincere in this advice. Gah!
    A clear red flag about this book: way too much use of the word "female." I don't take advice from Ferengi.

  • @jon66097
    @jon66097 2 роки тому +2

    13:45 She's actually 63 in dog years, so she's plenty old enough.

  • @generaldreagonlps6889
    @generaldreagonlps6889 2 роки тому +2

    Damn, I probably should've talked to the many women who just looked at me. Who knew they secretly all wanted to be in a relationship with me?

  • @someonerandom256
    @someonerandom256 2 роки тому

    I'm so creeped out by the Pearls!

  • @reiy8401
    @reiy8401 2 роки тому +2

    ugh it's crap like this that has made it insanely difficult for me to express interest in anybody. i even still have to tell myself it's okay to tap like on friends' IG stories when they post sexy pictures of themselves.

  • @raspberryitalia3464
    @raspberryitalia3464 2 роки тому

    I was not prepared for a Florida man horror story today omg that was haunting

  • @lunatick9792
    @lunatick9792 2 роки тому +3

    Sooo... You don't want to be an unlicked chocolate bar past your "best before" date, but you don't want to not be licked, so you'd better find someone to eat you?
    It must be tough being a chocolate bar, thank you for the insight Debi.
    To be fair though: a chocolate bar probably fits the depth of her characters perfectly.

  • @loopshackr
    @loopshackr 2 роки тому +4

    What exactly is does being a "prince" mean? Considering contemporary examples of real ones, what kind of "real" woman wants one?

  • @jayvansickle7607
    @jayvansickle7607 2 роки тому +4

    You know that when a Christian uses the term "Help MEET", you're dealing with a special kind of fundamentalist.