Steven Seagal Maximum Conviction Is So Bad It Tells You About Its Stupid Kids - Worst Movie Ever

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  • Опубліковано 16 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,9 тис.

  • @SpaceIce
    @SpaceIce  Рік тому +205

    Check out my Patreon for uncensored and ad-free videos: www.patreon.com/Space_Ice

    • @Illustraful
      @Illustraful Рік тому +2

      Please do the Gary Busey movie Bulletproof. It's hilarious. His catchphrase is calling bad guys "butthorn." 😂😂😂😂

    • @dudepool7530
      @dudepool7530 Рік тому +1

      Maybe a collab with the Sensei Segal channel?
      I could see you two playing off each other very well.

    • @ruslanpetrovski8413
      @ruslanpetrovski8413 Рік тому

      Thank you SO MUCH for another gem!!!!!

    • @REDARO11
      @REDARO11 Рік тому

      HahahahahahahahJjH

    • @smegmanimus8434
      @smegmanimus8434 Рік тому

      It’s time to do a Liam Nelson movie start with “Ice Road”

  • @MetalsirenIXI
    @MetalsirenIXI Рік тому +3258

    He's probably the only person who did more movies out of his prime than in it.

    • @mikoajryniak2644
      @mikoajryniak2644 Рік тому +94

      What about Bruce Willis?

    • @planebreach
      @planebreach Рік тому +281

      His prime was like 2 seconds.

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 Рік тому +202

      @@planebreach Even in that brief window he was a defective store brand version of Stallone.

    • @MrSaiyan333
      @MrSaiyan333 Рік тому +89

      He never had a prime, TBH.

    • @BigBoiBleu
      @BigBoiBleu Рік тому +225

      ​@@mikoajryniak2644Bruce had a long prime. Stop it

  • @jackcristo1628
    @jackcristo1628 Рік тому +1942

    "Maximum Conviction" is what Steve should receive from a judge.

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 Рік тому +13

      It does sound like that double secret probation stuff in Animal House now that I think about it

    • @moscockmule
      @moscockmule Рік тому

      HOLY FUCK FDHSAFKJHDKJH

    • @toweypat
      @toweypat Рік тому +49

      @@bigbearkat2010 Haha. "You are not just convicted, you are maximum convicted!"

    • @xthee_0nly_1x11
      @xthee_0nly_1x11 Рік тому +11

      Stephan Seagull.

    • @aleksandarjankovic39
      @aleksandarjankovic39 Рік тому +7

      steve seagal or steve austin?

  • @Illustraful
    @Illustraful Рік тому +515

    A Seagal movie without a scene in a strip club is like an all you can eat buffet without Seagal at the front of the line.

    • @ConsistentlyInconsistent21
      @ConsistentlyInconsistent21 Рік тому +19

      Fuck he loves his cookies

    • @graememceachren1118
      @graememceachren1118 Рік тому

      At least we’re spared the strippers remarking about how enormous his tadger is. And how he’s the best they’ve ever had. Just don’t let him get on top!

    • @Illustraful
      @Illustraful Рік тому +9

      @RealStevenSeagal What does it take? What does it take to change the essence of a man...'s ranch dip?

    • @Illustraful
      @Illustraful Рік тому +2

      @RealStevenSeagal I need time to change...the essence of my ranch dip.

    • @Illustraful
      @Illustraful Рік тому +9

      @RealStevenSeagal I'm gonna take *you* to the bank, Mr Seagal. The food bank.

  • @JohnnyMn4monic
    @JohnnyMn4monic Рік тому +282

    "A much thinner man, stole his luggage" omg, im dying laughing so hard at that scene

    • @dennislaskowski3773
      @dennislaskowski3773 8 місяців тому +5

      "And then Seagall, who definitely only has one chin."😂😂😂

    • @mcbrians.8508
      @mcbrians.8508 4 місяці тому

      @@dennislaskowski3773 shows up... [while an Aeon Flux soundtrack plays]

  • @Lucky_Chase
    @Lucky_Chase Рік тому +69

    "A giant egg shaped man... Top egg..."
    When Space Ice is off to a gold standard start.

  • @thekiller7994
    @thekiller7994 Рік тому +1360

    Every Steven Seagal movie in a nutshell:
    -Steven Seagal is either ex special forces or ex CIA or ex something
    -Everyone treats Seagal like the second coming of Christ
    -Steven Seagal will mumble his way through scenes or require the use of voice overs from other actors
    -Body doubles who do everything which includes walking, standing, and fighting
    -Lots of plot convenience
    -Steven Seagal will be portrayed as a hero but commits tons of crimes
    -Seagal will hook up with women younger than him
    -Multiple plot threads that go nowhere or are completely abandoned by the end of the movie
    -Whenever Seagal does fight, he’s either slap fighting or fighting sitting down and never has to reload
    -Fight scenes will have plenty of shaky cam or jump cuts to hide Seagal’s weight or his stunt doubles
    -Every Seagal film is either set in Eastern Europe, Mexico, or Asia
    -Steven Seagal will always go to strip club even if it doesn’t contribute to the plot
    -Plots will usually resolve themselves in the first 20 minutes
    -Terrible special effects and green screen
    -Seagal will never hold a gun correctly
    -Whenever Seagal is in a team, everyone will either die or do nothing while he does all the work
    -One liners and jokes that fall flatter than Seagal’s “acting career”
    -The DEA apparently has jurisdiction over everything
    -Seagal will also have a family that’s introduced at the end of the movie

    • @maidak
      @maidak Рік тому +154

      Gotta frequent that strip club!

    • @Ass_Burgers_Syndrome
      @Ass_Burgers_Syndrome Рік тому +33

      @@maidak Shit you beat me to it

    • @bekker5000
      @bekker5000 Рік тому +124

      He also talks his way out of anything, even when getting arrested by the police. Either the CIA gets him out of a foreign country the moment he'd be locked up for life or he has such a BS compelling reason the chief lets him go so he can continue his warcrimes.

    • @TWisM009
      @TWisM009 Рік тому +75

      Thats syphilis.

    • @sharpfalcon6196
      @sharpfalcon6196 Рік тому +27

      This time, there was no leather clad love interest or leather clad Seagal in this movie.

  • @spriddy69
    @spriddy69 Рік тому +567

    “Double chop.”
    I cant stop crying with laughter.

    • @ezet
      @ezet Рік тому +51

      "followed up by Irish dance kick"

    • @Pikilloification
      @Pikilloification Рік тому +7

      Chop chop

    • @hawaiisidecar
      @hawaiisidecar Рік тому +8

      ​@@ezetI laughed so hard.

    • @JD_79
      @JD_79 Рік тому +6

      Right up there with "...holy shit, Red-face!"

    • @jasonmaccoul
      @jasonmaccoul Рік тому +8

      Double chop and Irish dance kick was hilarious!

  • @Conan_the_Based
    @Conan_the_Based Рік тому +888

    I worked with a guy who liked Steven Seagal movies unironically. We watched this on a night shift and he was right into it. It was the weirdest thing ever.

    • @machida58
      @machida58 Рік тому +34

      What was this guy like???

    • @Dan-di9jd
      @Dan-di9jd Рік тому +96

      @@machida58 he was like I’ve been watching seagal films for the last 35 years.

    • @Cpl.Cadaver
      @Cpl.Cadaver Рік тому +73

      I served with a guy in the NAVY who absolutely loved 80's "B" movies. Every conversation would end up with him telling everyone about Rawhead Rex, Killer Clowns from Outer Space and a number of others. Almost one dimensional but still a good guy.

    • @adamb89
      @adamb89 Рік тому +78

      Some people just really like things that suck. People who watch shit like The Room unironically and somehow find this weird hidden meaning behind everything.

    • @TheZigzach
      @TheZigzach Рік тому +25

      Steven Segal movies RULE!!!!

  • @Sadhorror
    @Sadhorror Рік тому +106

    "Who definitely only has one chin" stooop it 😂😂😂

  • @Warsrecker
    @Warsrecker Рік тому +35

    5:34 "Listen to me. Do what I say and I kill you before they kill you." What a deal.

  • @claytronbomb7670
    @claytronbomb7670 Рік тому +857

    My greatest fear is the day Space Ice runs out of Seagal films. I need sensei Steven to pump out some direct to streaming crap quickly.

    • @civil_villain
      @civil_villain Рік тому +107

      I just want him to redo all of them, but from the perspective that Seagal is the movie's villain.

    • @donsekr8520
      @donsekr8520 Рік тому +43

      Steven would do a action movie in a wheelchair, killing everyone!

    • @danijelkotur1720
      @danijelkotur1720 Рік тому +15

      Well he kind of is vilain i mean look from ppl perspective who spends their time in favorite bar and segul shows and for no reason at all he starts beat the crap out of those poor guys

    • @cptcurk192
      @cptcurk192 Рік тому +8

      Fear not, I just saw a really crappy movie called Wifelike. It’s main character is an actor who is giving Sensei Seagal a run for his money in creepiness. Jonathan Rhys Meyers. He has to have the ugliest smile in show business.

    • @mattdubovik3082
      @mattdubovik3082 Рік тому +13

      @@cptcurk192He’s still gonna run out of movies because it seems like Seagal has retired

  • @Dr._Klopek
    @Dr._Klopek Рік тому +801

    Stone Cold is the only actor in a Segal film to practice proper trigger discipline. No way he gets asked back

    • @SquadJuiced
      @SquadJuiced Рік тому +90

      That's because he hunts IRL with his brother.

    • @maxbracegirdle9990
      @maxbracegirdle9990 Рік тому +94

      Watching Steven try and hold guns in his movie is fucking hilarious, cause irl he thinks he's a weapons expert.

    • @ryanakabomber
      @ryanakabomber Рік тому +1

      😂😂

    • @abousono1
      @abousono1 Рік тому +59

      @@maxbracegirdle9990 Not only is he a weapons expert, but he's also the world's top expert at fiddling around with nuclear weapons.

    • @jaggedskar3890
      @jaggedskar3890 Рік тому +37

      @@abousono1 And the world's top expert in fiddling around with young babes.

  • @nixuniverse5240
    @nixuniverse5240 Рік тому +2269

    Petition to get Space Ice to cover China Salesman

  • @kambuku__3670
    @kambuku__3670 Рік тому +44

    "now that he's top Egg" 😂😂😂 this channel is a gem

  • @maxtracker2904
    @maxtracker2904 10 місяців тому +8

    “They say ‘no’, which he takes as ‘yes’.”
    Classic Seagal! 😅

  • @KG-th3cr
    @KG-th3cr Рік тому +308

    We badly need a Steven Seagal video game where you play as Seagal and the entire thing takes place with him sitting in a chair. Not that the entire game takes place in one place; you go all over but everywhere you go Steven is still in a chair.

    • @TerrenceNowicki
      @TerrenceNowicki Рік тому +70

      To go up any amount of stairs, you have to enter "stunt double mode."

    • @KG-th3cr
      @KG-th3cr Рік тому +47

      @@TerrenceNowicki *Enter some guy who is 100 lbs lighter than Seagal but dressed like him

    • @thepolarphantasm2319
      @thepolarphantasm2319 Рік тому +43

      You collect sexual assault powerups throughout the game until you get to the bonus stage where you are a clown on Russian state television

    • @JO-ly3hi
      @JO-ly3hi Рік тому

      That would be better than watching him run like a bitch!

    • @robertcatlow1881
      @robertcatlow1881 Рік тому +54

      You can only save the game by going to the strip club

  • @Victor-sn6jd
    @Victor-sn6jd Рік тому +427

    The next step in Steven Seagal's career is to play the bad guy in a Neil Breen movie.

    • @thunderchubbs7640
      @thunderchubbs7640 Рік тому +32

      I think trying to put together a video of a Segal/Breen movie would quite literally make Space’s head explode. I don’t think the world could handle that duo.

    • @markiangooley
      @markiangooley Рік тому +26

      Neil is too thrifty and Seagal too greedy.

    • @riftvallance2087
      @riftvallance2087 Рік тому +31

      ​@@markiangooleyPlus Neil has standards

    • @lazyboyzworld8463
      @lazyboyzworld8463 Рік тому +30

      While uwe boll directs the movie

    • @AK47BLACKice
      @AK47BLACKice Рік тому +12

      Throw in Tommy Wiseau. Lol

  • @LikeARo55
    @LikeARo55 Рік тому +249

    Seagal is the type of person who would enter a children's school race, win and then declare himself the fastest athlete in the world.

    • @dopesickdog
      @dopesickdog Рік тому +45

      Nah. No way in hell he'd win

    • @luisfguitar
      @luisfguitar Рік тому +36

      He would win by stomping their legs at the start line

    • @bobcrafttheking2014
      @bobcrafttheking2014 Рік тому +11

      This comment made me suffocate

    • @LordDeBahs
      @LordDeBahs Рік тому

      he is like eric cartman lol . bigest possible evil pathetic individual

    • @roylle6346
      @roylle6346 Рік тому +21

      ​@@dopesickdoghis body double would 😂

  • @BlackHeartRyo
    @BlackHeartRyo Рік тому +23

    That "Just kidding, double chop" got me good 11:31

  • @McMillanScottish
    @McMillanScottish Рік тому +10

    I love how UA-cam puts this movie right at the top of the video’s suggestions of what “to buy or rent”.

  • @sanguiniusi8187
    @sanguiniusi8187 Рік тому +254

    Imagine you are an actor playing combat roles and you are so out of shape that you need a stunt man if the role youre playing requires you to move slightly faster than walking speed, but instead of getting your shit together you just accept it and have your characters sit around a lot from now on. The balls on this guy, what an absolute legend. Sure being a "movie star" is fun, but so is eating.

    • @MurasakiTsukimaru
      @MurasakiTsukimaru Рік тому +31

      Don't forget a body double for sitting around

    • @otism8262
      @otism8262 Рік тому +23

      And covering up that second and third chin

    • @docsays
      @docsays Рік тому +8

      - im sure segal says “F-that” im re-writing this script

    • @cptrelentless80085
      @cptrelentless80085 Рік тому +19

      Waddling speed not walking speed

    • @lewiscoacher7781
      @lewiscoacher7781 Рік тому +7

      @@cptrelentless80085 You guys are funny as fuck. I'm throwing up-votes around
      like confetti.

  • @dr.emilschaffhausen4683
    @dr.emilschaffhausen4683 Рік тому +316

    Steven's uncanny ability to act like he's not acting is unmatched in all of cinema. It's incredible to watch.

    • @spimbles
      @spimbles Рік тому +12

      i know right its like hes not even trying, a master at work

    • @arup02
      @arup02 Рік тому +8

      "Acting without acting"

    • @TheIrland09
      @TheIrland09 Рік тому +4

      He just plays himself in all his movies, so he's not even required to act.

    • @joshdoldersum9132
      @joshdoldersum9132 Рік тому +10

      He's literally just playing out his own fantasies. These stories have surely been writing themselves in his head since he was 8 years old.

    • @dr.emilschaffhausen4683
      @dr.emilschaffhausen4683 Рік тому

      @@joshdoldersum9132 Most likely.

  • @davidgessin-mccully3919
    @davidgessin-mccully3919 Рік тому +488

    “Maximum conviction is the Steven Segal mega blockbuster hit movie where he showed the world the only thing holding him back from being a major acting star is talent, work ethic, intelligence, ability, self awareness, attractiveness, basic human decency, you know what everything, literally everything.”
    “He got word that a giant egg shaped man was randomly attacking innocent people which is his role mfkr”

    • @pokehybridtrainer
      @pokehybridtrainer Рік тому +4

      He'll do him an egg.

    • @Eddie-j3s6e
      @Eddie-j3s6e Рік тому +11

      This nearly killed me, ok, now I have to be on medication!

    • @davidgessin-mccully3919
      @davidgessin-mccully3919 Рік тому +7

      @@Eddie-j3s6e
      Lmao there isn’t usually a video I’m laughing 15 seconds in except Space Ice 😂😂

    • @thethedeanshow
      @thethedeanshow Рік тому

      He was handsome in hard to kill

    • @davidgessin-mccully3919
      @davidgessin-mccully3919 Рік тому +7

      @@thethedeanshow
      You sure that wasn’t his body double? 😂

  • @thecompanioncube4211
    @thecompanioncube4211 Рік тому +14

    Dude your sense of comedy is freaking amazing man... Keep it up. It's HILARIOUS

  • @michaelbauer2950
    @michaelbauer2950 Рік тому +13

    "Followed by an Irish dance kick..." that one had me rolling

  • @jakebroz9116
    @jakebroz9116 Рік тому +168

    Damn, Seagal has hundreds of "mega blockbuster hit movies" at this point in his career! A true icon of acting.

  • @tljscrewjob6397
    @tljscrewjob6397 Рік тому +200

    Not even ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin can save this movie! That’s how you know it’s fucked.

    • @ser6Ijvolk
      @ser6Ijvolk Рік тому +20

      That's like saying "even a band-aid can't save this eviscerated man" - Steve's OK, but he isn't exactly a beacon of charisma or a good actor.

    • @thereviewer3862
      @thereviewer3862 Рік тому +16

      @@ser6IjvolkThat’s true Steve is like The Rock, charismatic but more in his presence than personal talent. Fairly one-dimensional in their characters, but very entertaining when given the right role. They’d never be considered anything more then decent actors at best, but that puts them much higher then Seagall on a good day. As at least they have the self-awareness and experience to know where they rank.

    • @ursinecanine9657
      @ursinecanine9657 Рік тому +6

      There was only one American 'wrestler' whose presence brought true sophistication to the screen, a Steve is no Hulk Hogan 🧐

    • @lautheimpaler4686
      @lautheimpaler4686 Рік тому

      @@ursinecanine9657 good sarcasm

    • @DensilGrant
      @DensilGrant Рік тому +1

      Austin can't act either way

  • @DaYoda191
    @DaYoda191 Рік тому +378

    I love how Austin the professional "fake" fighter is way more believable in fight scenes than Segall the "real" fighter

    • @graememceachren1118
      @graememceachren1118 Рік тому +65

      SA has to make it look good. He works at it. SS hears the word ‘work’, and immediately calls for a stunt double. Doesn’t need a stunt double for the heavy fork-lifting, though.

    • @yuzucrypt
      @yuzucrypt Рік тому +97

      wrestling takes actual charisma and athleticism lol.

    • @A_real_Ha_So
      @A_real_Ha_So Рік тому +9

      ​@@yuzucryptUp until the last few years, yes it did

    • @denny414
      @denny414 Рік тому +14

      Shut up you take that back wrestling is real you just gotta believe

    • @A_real_Ha_So
      @A_real_Ha_So Рік тому +5

      @@denny414 It really isn't or ever has been a case of real or fake imo
      I'm paraphrasing Jim Cornette here but why has Brock Lesnar always been a big deal with very few detractors? It's because fans have always wanted to believe on a deep down level and Lesnar has always given that vibe, weither you liked or disliked him. Heck, I 80% knew it was scripted by the time I was 9 but people like Harley Race gave you the same vibe back then.

  • @UncleKratos
    @UncleKratos Рік тому +12

    I lost it at "Less Black Seagal!" 😂 7:55

  • @ssoory6343
    @ssoory6343 Рік тому +31

    "Spiderman and dipshit..." are the best duo ever 😂😂😂

  • @SCARFACE_805
    @SCARFACE_805 Рік тому +281

    Steven Segul is the equivalent of "I beat up some weak people, I'm the greatest fighter who ever lived"

    • @rickkarsan4491
      @rickkarsan4491 Рік тому +22

      The Logan Paul way

    • @marsayde1237
      @marsayde1237 Рік тому +23

      More like “If my body double did it, that really means I did it.”

    • @brandonlink7471
      @brandonlink7471 Рік тому +3

      Fun fact: There’s this guy who actually did that shit in real life. His name is Charlie Zelenoff, aka “the P4P goat”. Look him up, and you’ll see what I mean.

    • @africaart
      @africaart Рік тому

      He believes too much in his past glory (when the world was a different place). Now it's ridiculous. 4:46

    • @ggn3
      @ggn3 Рік тому

      And be dumb enough to think he can take on Gene LeBell.

  • @broom8744
    @broom8744 Рік тому +326

    Adding Stone Cold to this movie is like multiplying the result of your equation by 0.

    • @Kaljuun13
      @Kaljuun13 Рік тому +67

      The amount of actors, that I like, that had to play opposite Seagal blows my mind. I get it on paycheck and everything, but still hurts to see it sometimes. At the same time...comedy gold?
      Austin, Michael Jai White, Louis Fan, etc. I know Austin isn't a premier actor, but I still like the man.

    • @Reladan187
      @Reladan187 Рік тому +2

      Hahaha I laughed out loud

    • @riftvallance2087
      @riftvallance2087 Рік тому +13

      ​@@MikadoYumaI think it's probably his health issue preventing him for working, he broke his neck if I'm not mistaken.

    • @crushert
      @crushert Рік тому +1

      Man, I loved that Stone Cold movie as a kid.

    • @MentalInsurance
      @MentalInsurance Рік тому +12

      @@MikadoYuma well once you are that popular its hard to shake off that image, the rock was able to do it because that guy is driven like crazy and had to really work for it and same i see for cena, maybe austin just wanted to chill and enjoy his later years....batista was never really that popularto begin with...theres super stardom..and then there is mega stardom

  • @Mi2Lethal
    @Mi2Lethal Рік тому +146

    Seagal is the only 70 year old, 300 pound man in the world to wear a cap backwards.

    • @rogierb5945
      @rogierb5945 Рік тому +6

      To be fair, he was 'only' 60 years old when this movie came out.

    • @steveaustin4013
      @steveaustin4013 Рік тому +23

      I’ve been to Walmart. You’d be wrong

    • @VDViktor
      @VDViktor Рік тому +1

      @@steveaustin4013hey Steve, gotta say, you were my favorite character in that movie xD

    • @Ishitonyou666
      @Ishitonyou666 10 місяців тому +2

      Steve’s urban , you can’t tell ?😅

    • @HybridBlueDream
      @HybridBlueDream 9 місяців тому +1

      That’s just his dyed hair bro

  • @CrowAthas
    @CrowAthas Рік тому +103

    I always feel kinda bad for Seagal. He lives his life having to pay everyone to tell him how awesome he is and makes movies out of this to convince himself that he is what he desperately imagines himself to be. A sexy, dangerous, mysterious man that no woman can pin down for long... It is pathetic because in the end these fantasies just alienates him from improving in any way possible, both in art and in real life

    • @enjoythestruggle
      @enjoythestruggle Рік тому

      It's self-inflicted and he has made money and probably had fun doing these things so difficult to feel bad for him. Especially now that he's joined Putin's propaganda machine.

    • @thearkedcrown
      @thearkedcrown Рік тому +14

      What's funny is he probably could have made good money off the image he had in his prime but due to his narcissism he's just a joke now

    • @jmtexx
      @jmtexx Рік тому +1

      @IStevenSeagalexactly what I was thinking. He’s the Adam Sandler but for action flicks. I’m sure other countries love him

    • @jmtexx
      @jmtexx Рік тому

      @IStevenSeagalyou’re a smart dude. All these people, asides the witty trolls and positives are really miserable

    • @HCG
      @HCG Рік тому +15

      He’s a genuinely terrible person. Don’t ever feel bad for him

  • @Aggron300
    @Aggron300 8 місяців тому +3

    ”To catch a Seagal you have to become a Seagal” 🤣

  • @leyazaki
    @leyazaki Рік тому +132

    His dedication to his delusion is immeasurable

    • @adamb89
      @adamb89 Рік тому +1

      Well I mean he is getting paid, so there's that.

  • @TrueSurvivor92
    @TrueSurvivor92 Рік тому +129

    This channel is criminally underrated.

    • @theultimatereductionist7592
      @theultimatereductionist7592 Рік тому +3

      DOUBLE CHOP!

    • @ZukoRobin
      @ZukoRobin 8 місяців тому +2

      Yea I dont understand why he doesnt have like a million subs. It’s hilarious.

    • @OhFrickHesTall3176
      @OhFrickHesTall3176 4 місяці тому

      CRIMINALLY underrated, easily one of the funniest reviewers on YT

  • @Olivershoesoff
    @Olivershoesoff Рік тому +55

    "Which really brightens his mood...just kidding.. DOUBLE CHOP!"
    You killed it on this one.

  • @themindofxx9678
    @themindofxx9678 Рік тому +3

    Steven Seagal as the next John Wick villain. No I'm not high, you don't have any proof of that.

  • @jameswazac9898
    @jameswazac9898 Рік тому +20

    "Rock em sock em Seagal"! Pure poetry!

  • @aylmer666
    @aylmer666 Рік тому +114

    Glad you got around to this and took it easy on me - I did about 90% of the Visual Effects in this movie 11 years ago (including the greenscreen shot used in the thumbnail).

    • @Illustraful
      @Illustraful Рік тому +23

      Did you meet Seagal himself, or did he send his body double?

    • @aylmer666
      @aylmer666 Рік тому +43

      @@Illustraful I worked in the post-production on the film so never saw him. I heard he came to the studio once to ADR some lines but was late and rushed through it. Austin was a pro though.

    • @Illustraful
      @Illustraful Рік тому +15

      @@aylmer666 I'm amazed he turned up to do any ADR. I crack up at clips of his movies where he was too lazy to do his own ADR and they got a guy who sounds nothing like him.

    • @dan_hitchman007
      @dan_hitchman007 Рік тому +15

      ​​@@aylmer666He was running late getting to a strip club to hit on underaged girls, I would imagine. That's why Seagal rushes through everything.

    • @isaacgary6801
      @isaacgary6801 Рік тому

      You doin Gods work son, nobody wanta to work with that ass seagal🎉

  • @supersardonic1179
    @supersardonic1179 Рік тому +91

    Seagal is criminally underrated. He really should be on everyone's Top 10 Pound for Pound Comedian list.
    Emphasis on the Pound for Pound.

  • @MimosaSTG
    @MimosaSTG Рік тому +45

    Was drinking coffee when you dropped that "Just kidding! Double Chop!" What a catastrophic situation that was.

    • @TammoKorsai
      @TammoKorsai Рік тому +9

      That's why I always pause a Space Ice video before drinking.

  • @ughettapbacon
    @ughettapbacon 11 місяців тому +2

    My kid turned me on to your work and I have been binge-watching it for days now. I am on board for the duration of this adventure.

  • @The_ZeroLine
    @The_ZeroLine Рік тому +4

    You made me choke on water when you said “The Seagal, who definitely only has one chin...:” 😂

  • @maxwellekleberry9629
    @maxwellekleberry9629 Рік тому +28

    “If you want to catch a Seagal you have to become a Seagal” 😂 😂 😂

  • @Jibb3rs
    @Jibb3rs Рік тому +102

    "Now that he is top egg" made me laugh harder than it probably should have 😅

    • @willbohland3698
      @willbohland3698 Рік тому

      I heard that mother fucker birthday!

    • @Jibb3rs
      @Jibb3rs Рік тому +3

      One episode he said "but then, Steven Segal did something that blew away both of his fans" lol 😆

    • @willbohland3698
      @willbohland3698 Рік тому

      @@Jibb3rs LMFAO. Did he no-look corner shoot both fans? I guess that's more of an Alec Baldwin move.

    • @willbohland3698
      @willbohland3698 Рік тому +1

      @jasonbourne8245 Space Ice is peak UA-cam. This channel is one of the very best. I can't get enough of the scene where the guy falls through the skylight like a sack of potatoes. That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

    • @Jibb3rs
      @Jibb3rs Рік тому +1

      @@willbohland3698 I think all he did was run like 5 steps lol 😆

  • @8ung8ung
    @8ung8ung Рік тому +49

    Just kidding. Double chop followed by a n Irish dance kick.
    That killed me😂

  • @aw6151
    @aw6151 2 місяці тому +1

    "Just kidding...double chop!!!" Almost killed me😂😂😂

  • @ProjectSerpo90
    @ProjectSerpo90 Рік тому +24

    Dude you are a friggen legend. I never laughed so hard 😂😂 “f*** that orphanage!”

    • @davidwaynemain
      @davidwaynemain 3 місяці тому

      Just now finding this channel. I don't know whats funnier. The Seagal or Niel Breen vids

  • @juliusmatijosius2219
    @juliusmatijosius2219 Рік тому +38

    I'm always baffled by how Space Ice keeps finding new ways to roast Steven Seagal within each video

  • @brookss2141
    @brookss2141 Рік тому +45

    That Irish dance kick is amazing. Segal always coming up with fresh techniques.

  • @TihetrisWeathersby
    @TihetrisWeathersby Рік тому +210

    This movie is so bad after watching it with my wife she cleaned out our savings account and vanished

    • @jwnj9716
      @jwnj9716 Рік тому +13

      OH THE HORROR!!!!😱

    • @RuiLuz
      @RuiLuz Рік тому +34

      She is probably sleeping with Seagal, don't worry, you ain't losing much.

    • @supersardonic1179
      @supersardonic1179 Рік тому +20

      I wouldn't worry about it too much. If she's ever found, you can take her to court aand stipulate the $2.50 she stole as her entitlement to the divorce.

    • @BadTV1993
      @BadTV1993 Рік тому +23

      If it was your idea to watch it, you deserve everything you had done to you...

    • @burritoboy2751
      @burritoboy2751 Рік тому +3

      ​@@BadTV1993😂😂😂

  • @AliloffDaRocka
    @AliloffDaRocka Рік тому +2

    I actually went back to watch some of these movies. Your commentary is totally on point. You don't skip a beat! Keep it up Space Ice!!!

  • @danw4490
    @danw4490 8 місяців тому +4

    Seagal must have been blackmailing Stone Cold...

  • @skliff5907
    @skliff5907 Рік тому +22

    These are gold. "Just kidding double chop" had me crying 😂

  • @theultimatereductionist7592
    @theultimatereductionist7592 Рік тому +56

    "Seagal expertly falls while his gun bounces around with pinpoint accuracy" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Kelechi149
    @Kelechi149 Рік тому +45

    Stone cold steve austin broke his back carrying this movie and seagal

    • @bigbearkat2010
      @bigbearkat2010 Рік тому +9

      If only Seagal had his body double for those scenes too

    • @skylined5534
      @skylined5534 Рік тому

      ​@@bigbearkat2010
      That little bitch, running away with Seagull's suitcase defibrillator. Absolutely shockingly unprofessional!

  • @jesse_cole
    @jesse_cole 3 місяці тому +2

    I love that shitting on Steven Seagal is an entire industry on the internet.

  • @jl-nz7gh
    @jl-nz7gh Рік тому +2

    Seagal waddles better than Howard... I just now realized I need a Space Ice review of Howard the Duck.

  • @Ender7j
    @Ender7j Рік тому +73

    The next time my kids act up: “You mad at us, Dad?”
    Me: “Nope.” Double-chop. “Not anymore.”
    Thanks for the inspiration Space Ice. Children everywhere are already on better behaviors.

    • @jasonmaccoul
      @jasonmaccoul Рік тому +2

      Hilarious! 😂

    • @j3dwin
      @j3dwin Рік тому +5

      I thought you were going to say "The next time my kids act up I'm making them watch this movie."

    • @Ender7j
      @Ender7j Рік тому +1

      @@j3dwin that’s a good idea lol

    • @Necroverse19
      @Necroverse19 3 місяці тому

      ​@@Ender7jI'm reporting you to CPS if you make your kids watch any of his movies.

  • @GraemeMcdonald-ec3ub
    @GraemeMcdonald-ec3ub Рік тому +35

    If you want to catch a seagal you have to become a seagal had me rolling 😂

  • @mckill85
    @mckill85 Рік тому +20

    "The highest kick of his career.." lmfao 😂😂😂

  • @jdpazmino2010
    @jdpazmino2010 7 місяців тому +2

    This had me dying on the floor 😂😂😂😂 “Rock’en Sock’em Segal” lmao

  • @ironleeFPS
    @ironleeFPS Рік тому +47

    The “rifle in the wrong hand again” thing you were talking about is not a mistake, it’s a shooting technique usually used in CQB to keep yourself more behind cover if aiming / peaking out of both sides of cover.
    It’s a technique almost no one uses because it requires you switch shooting eyes to aim down your sights as well. It’s more or less been proven as too slow and not worth doing. You’ll see it done in Professional paintball matches more than anywhere else.
    Basically it’s Seagal trying to look tactical and cool😂

    • @GraveUypo
      @GraveUypo 9 місяців тому +5

      what is the explanation for the stock ABOVE his shoulder then? i mean, other than he being too fat to lean down and aim on the proper position

  • @yesyoucanTellme
    @yesyoucanTellme Рік тому +67

    Steve Austin is an incredibly captivating figure to watch. It's impossible to resist his charm.

    • @raylopez99
      @raylopez99 Рік тому +4

      WWE/WWF also enjoying record revenues lately. Same cannot be said for Seagal movies.

    • @taxidude
      @taxidude Рік тому +4

      Get in the ring with him and you'll soon want to resist his charm!

    • @richardcrew417
      @richardcrew417 Рік тому

      @@taxidude You can't charm a Rattlesnake

  • @_Paul_N
    @_Paul_N Рік тому +75

    I hope Seagal never stops pumping out bad movies. Dude is an absolute legend at being a lolcow in the action genre. Literally the gift that keeps giving 😂

    • @rikvin1981
      @rikvin1981 Рік тому +10

      According to IMDB he's coming out with a "sequel" to "Above the Law".

    • @adamb89
      @adamb89 Рік тому +1

      The chin that won't stop swingin

    • @gulfstream7235
      @gulfstream7235 Рік тому

      It's all a money laundering racket from his shady east european backers....

  • @playerknownasmousecop
    @playerknownasmousecop Рік тому +10

    The “oh my god stop it” technique made me spit a lil bit of my beer out

  • @USAFMike
    @USAFMike 7 місяців тому +1

    "To catch a Seagal, you have to be a Seagal" lmaooo

  • @Nash-np3nn
    @Nash-np3nn Рік тому +1

    Bro, I am so glad I found this channel. Your commentary has me in stitches. I will be watching all of these. If I could subscribe twice I would.

  • @Kelveron
    @Kelveron Рік тому +181

    We should start a petition to demand Steven Seagal make more crap movies, so Space Ice can review them. Vote up if you agree.

    • @nicholascauton9648
      @nicholascauton9648 Рік тому +15

      As much as I love Space Ice roasting Steven Seagal, I feel like an overload of Seagal movies might negatively affect Ice’s psyche.

    • @Kelveron
      @Kelveron Рік тому +15

      @@nicholascauton9648 Good point! Let's start a second petition to crowdfund for Space Ice's therapy sessions....just in case!

  • @JimmyDoresHairDye
    @JimmyDoresHairDye Рік тому +7

    Space Ice reviewing a Segal movie - perfect way to kick off my weekend.

  • @destinyjamcookie
    @destinyjamcookie Рік тому +21

    It never gets old ripping on Steven Seagal 🤣 thank you Space Ice.

  • @LarryXLR
    @LarryXLR Місяць тому +1

    "Seagal (who definetly only has ONE chin) shows up" 😂

  • @r.e.d.docena5957
    @r.e.d.docena5957 Рік тому +4

    "Because it's Seagal, instead of a chip in her brain, it's in her boobs"
    That laughing Seagal caught me. 😂

  • @ramseybolton1258
    @ramseybolton1258 Рік тому +29

    Steven Seagal is so bad at acting, even the furniture in his movies overacts in comparison!

  • @allenbuller8645
    @allenbuller8645 Рік тому +8

    "Seagal who definitely only has one chin" took me out 💀

  • @blazespaniel8160
    @blazespaniel8160 Рік тому +10

    " double chop followed by an irish dance move" always quality commentry

  • @TheZigzach
    @TheZigzach Рік тому +1

    This was your best review i.m.o. Extra hilarious!!! Great job!!!

  • @planetx5269
    @planetx5269 11 місяців тому +1

    Excellent as usual! How about the two guys that forgot they were in the movie and the two women who couldn't help beating each other every chance they got 😊. Remember how the one in as going to tell Segal her sad life story but no one wanted to hear it. It all too funny!

  • @anthonyharrison5116
    @anthonyharrison5116 Рік тому +25

    "Spiderman and Dipshit"
    The sequel we all need.. ☠️

  • @V3lkyn
    @V3lkyn Рік тому +17

    The supporting roles moved more muscles in this movie than Seagal did in his entire career.

  • @boozypixels
    @boozypixels Рік тому +73

    I'd rather be shot in the balls for every movie he's made instead of watching them. You're doing the lord's work

    • @srinathvs2647
      @srinathvs2647 Рік тому +6

      he has made more than two movies. At this point you would be on a great ball deficit, greater than even the US credit financial deficit.

    • @supersardonic1179
      @supersardonic1179 Рік тому +1

      Are you a Krogan?

    • @lucariothehorrorguy5641
      @lucariothehorrorguy5641 Рік тому +1

      Bro thinks he's Senator Vernon Trent.

    • @joshuablack8221
      @joshuablack8221 Рік тому

      Seems a bit exaggerated 😂😂😂

  • @jesussaves21
    @jesussaves21 Рік тому +4

    Steven Seagal is so bad that it almost seems like he is trolling everyone. It would be hilarious if he was just playing a character to see just how dumb he could get before being exposed lol.

  • @ChristopherSaindon
    @ChristopherSaindon 11 місяців тому +2

    0:28 The *waddle!* 🤣

  • @ludwigiapilosa508
    @ludwigiapilosa508 Рік тому +13

    I can't believe he keeps making these movies, but I'm glad he does now, thanks to this channel.

  • @edgaraggtown
    @edgaraggtown Рік тому +46

    "Just kidding! Double chop!" That shit had me going😂

  • @magnumopus8124
    @magnumopus8124 Рік тому +6

    @11:35 "which really brightens seagal's mood for the first time....JUST KIDDING "DOUBLE CHOP!" followed by an irish dance kick!" that shit absolutely floored me haha! 🤣

  • @TerrellRodgers-x4v
    @TerrellRodgers-x4v 3 місяці тому +1

    No lie. I almost got in trouble at work for laughing out loud at his movie breakdown. This man hates The grandfather I mean grand mother😂 I mean master😂.

  • @ALM1GHTY.PEANUT
    @ALM1GHTY.PEANUT 10 місяців тому

    You are making me want to do a weekend binge on Seagal movies! These are all amazing!

  • @davidcarter6659
    @davidcarter6659 Рік тому +13

    Did he say "I promise, I'll kill you before they kill you"?😂 Can't pass up that deal.

    • @salim_abid_
      @salim_abid_ 11 місяців тому

      I need to watch the movie now to confirm if that is the actual line lol

  • @rome8180
    @rome8180 Рік тому +6

    "Now that he's top egg" really got me.

  • @michaelh8268
    @michaelh8268 Рік тому +4

    @ 7:09 Thanks for the patented "..oh my god stop it technique..." Fantastic.

  • @peteygee8395
    @peteygee8395 Рік тому +1

    This channel is making me want to watch all these Seagal movies

  • @TreVader1378
    @TreVader1378 4 місяці тому

    If Seagal was ever a casualty he'd definitely be a heavy one.

  • @tahaakkus8829
    @tahaakkus8829 Рік тому +88

    sensei seagal never disappoints

  • @willgreen5456
    @willgreen5456 Рік тому +11

    I love the way you destroy Steven Seagal worst and he destroy his own movies. That’s impressive.

  • @TheNemorosa
    @TheNemorosa Рік тому +10

    Nothing deadlier than the Irish dance kick.

  • @bryang6675
    @bryang6675 Рік тому

    Just found you channel yesterday. I've been binge watching and your videos are hilarious. Keep them coming