I’m sixty years old until I was fifty eight I was in complete denial that I was a transgender woman. My mind created all sorts of creative ways to ignore this truth. Now that I have finally accepted the truth of who I am when I look back at my life it’s so obvious I’m trans. Some of my earliest memories when I was only five or six years old were of wishing or pretending to be a girl.
I was able to mostly suppress the feelings until I was 68 when I hit the wall. That was a very scary time when I completely lost control and I had a nearly uncontrollable urge to emasculate myself and my coping measures no longer worked. That's when I was forced to reach out for help and learned the feelings I should be female were genuine because I actually had been a woman pretending to be a man my entire life. Suddenly my entire life made sense.
Up until I was 64 (2 years ago), I always was in denial that I was transgender. I always considered my self as a crossdresser even though I had thoughts of being female as far back as 4 years old. I went through different ways of denying the truth, doing very 'masculine' things like muscle cars, fast motorcycles, scuba diving, and even home construction. Anything to block out and deny who I am. The pandemic lockdowns provided me an opportunity to listen to myself as I worked remotely. I finally was not able to deny myself any longer. I entered into therapy and around the 3rd, maybe 4th session, my therapist said to me truly feel as a therapist that you should have been born a girl". The light went on! I asked "Are you saying I'm transgender?" She agreed and it was if a huge weight had been lifted from me! I finally knew who I am, have started HRT (14 months now), haven't looked back, and have realized this was the best decision I ever made! Thanks Dr. Z for another inspiring video! 💖💖
As always, your video is right on time! I'm nearly a year into my transition and up until about a week ago I was 100% confident even though all my family and stuff cut me off. I've been on hormones, I'm growing breasts and everything. It wasn't until the last week or two I started getting scared that maybe I was just dumb and rash. I currently live in a very not-accepting state so even going to the grocery store is stressful. I'm nearly 50 though and I didn't make this decision lightly. What I came to realize in the last few days is that the majority of my fear is me. I know 100% that I am "clockable" no matter how hard I try so I just always think people are thinking the absolute worst and judging me. However, with literally EVERYTHING I've faced on my journey I always come back to the same thing and this has been my soul-saver: If I didn't have to worry about what ANYONE else thinks, how would I live happily? THIS is my TRUE north. I don't care what body I was born in biologically. I AM a woman. I am HAPPY living that way if I remove all the exterior obstacles. So, now, whenever I start questioning everything I remind myself that I'm not doing any of this for anyone else. I'm an extremely giving person but THIS....THIS is for ME! Sorry for going long but I just want to say one more thing...every moment...every day we are alive is a privilege. Over 30,000 people died in the recent earthquake in Turkey and Syria. THIRTY THOUSAND individual beautiful human beings like me and you! 🥺 Yet, I am still here for whatever reason. As long as I have breath, it is my amazing privilege and opportunity to be happy in my own skin - as it is everyone's. I'm preaching to myself right now but don't waste your life not being who you actually are no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
I really resonated with the comparison of doing an experiment. I used to struggle to pinpoint whether I was trans or not, because I didn't have any classic childhood-experience indicators and of the spreading narrative that young "girls" were being "influenced by social media". The answer I came up with at the time was to keep a notebook and record recurring patterns in my understanding of my gender and intensity of dysphoria. Whenever I doubt myself (or someone in my life expresses doubt) that I'm trans, I have the data and I've done the analysis. If I need more data, I can always collect it. I take a bit of pride in my "gender science" :)
applying the scientific method to exploring your gender identity is actually a great way to approach it. I work in the scientific field myself, and am currently heavily questioning my gender identity. It helps enormously to understand that I can't 'know' what gender I am because there's not enough datapoints to confirm nor reject my 'hypothesis'. Thank you for your videos, they have been of much help the past few weeks.
I'm early in transition. I have so many questions and the answers keep lining up to as pattern as described. At middle age it is easy to question yourself when so much of your life experience has been in denial. Do I trust what works for everyone else and continue to be unhappy that it doesn't work for me? Why? If everyone else gets to be happy, doing what makes them happy, why can't I be happy doing what makes me happy? Even as I worry about how it will change my future, I already see improvements in my life. Improvements that would have made my early years so much happier. Why trust what works for others when I have my own results?
Great questions, why indeed? I suggest to stop focusing on others and focus on yourself. Only by being true to yourself can you be happy and therefore have a positive impact on others.
The mind generates fear, and that's a hurdle that has to be overcome to progress often. I don't know if it's directly comparable, but I once had social anxiety - and this has nothing to do with my transition, and was way before I started experimenting to determine that I am trans - but I wanted to learn to fly. Learning to fly sounds scary, right? And it is. The scariest part for me happened before I even visited the airport for the first time. I had to complete a half-hour journey in a car; I knew where to go. I felt physically sick at the prospect, and I believe I even vomited slightly. I pushed through it. Nothing after that, not learning to land the aircraft, not even transition, ever came close. I believe my mind was trying to protect me from the unknown since it knew that it was less risky for me if I did not learn to fly, and this happened again later in life when I began transitioning. In both cases, pushing through the fear has made me happier and made me grow as a person.
I'm 68. I never found the answer, but I don't care anymore. Most of my personality traits are considered feminine; I have always been called feminine; I like being feminine, and I have always wanted to be female. Isn't that enough? No one has ever called me a "real man". I live and present as a woman, so what ever I am is close enough. Even though I have always wished I was a girl, I never really considered my experience to be dysphoria. I'm just me, and over the years, I gradually realized I'm much more of a woman than a man.
@@DRZPHD I'm already ahead of you!! Your advice has been instrumental in getting me here... And I actually have the mental clarity to journal! I'm really excited for the future. 💕
This is a REALLY good one for me. I spent so much of my life… daydreaming about getting to be… And in later years, I even thought “well of course I want to be a… But I’m not trans”. It doesn’t help that it’s hard for me to accept that not everyone feels like me. After I quit repressing, I spent a full year debating whether to start e, partially for health concerns, mostly because of how evil society is, and how scared I am. Even while repressing, I would daydream about it, and was too scared to do anything about it, plus I didn’t understand about hormones, I didn’t really think there’s anything I COULD do. Plus, I’ve been absolutely horrified, my entire life by the “M type person in a dress” thing. I still worry about whether I actually AM a ****, or just want to be. I’m not 1000% sure I believe that wanting to be means that I actually am. It’s gross to think that I’m the other thing though. If nothing else, e has almost entirely eliminated my frequent headaches. I was NOT expecting that. I can’t remember anyone talking about headaches going away. But I used to have headaches at least multiple times a week, if not daily, and on day two of taking e, they went away almost entirely. If all I end up accomplishing is this being a headache remedy, that might be worth it 😂 I really wish I could just be cis. I mean there’s other things I would wish for first, like ending fascism, homelessness, giving everyone all the healthcare and food, they need, etc., but I really wish I could just have my body and especially my face be…okay. 😕
I feel this point really applies to me. I think I am trans. A knot in my stomach loosens when I think of myself as a women (I have a male body) And my approach over several years now, since my trans epiphany at the age of 29(!), has all along been exploring this question in my mind. Trying to feel into it. Reading about it. Exploring my internal blocks. And at the same time just living my life totally disconnected from this question, waiting for myself to first resolve this in my mind. But I know I cant. I think I have known for many years. But thanks for reminding me of this simple, but difficult fact. That I have to test it out, not just let my mind ruminate. Im scared of letting go. But hearing what needs to be done is a good thing! :)
My dad's a scientist and I learned the principles of inquiry from him at a young age. I instinctively take a skeptical scientific approach to figuring out problems, withholding judgement until I can see a pattern. I have a lot of food allergies, so I have to keep alert and notice what I've eaten when and what sorts of subtle effects I've experienced, to try to figure out what foods have caused what problems. So it's very sensible to me to apply these principles to the mind and experience as well.
Not struggling with mind as much but more the realization of I don’t know if I enjoy sex. I can’t ever remember a time where I was happy or elated afterwards. The feel of orgasms, the lack of multiples, ect. It hit me in the gut this morning and sent me for a ride
@@DRZPHD that’s what I am in the process of doing. That realization helped me realize I actually have bottom dysphoria and that bottom surgery is a transition goal. Also my role in sex can not come from a dominant position I click off immediately
@@roisinbrown5532my partner is similar. Doesn’t like the dominant role. Hates to be the one that wants it first. Had failed in most of relationships. But we got together that changed it unexpectedly . He is actually bi sexual but when meeting me a masculine intersexed woman that actually do all the guy things behavior wise with gal bits I was the answer to his prayers. He is very feminine in his feelings and physique but is definitely male. Just doesn’t feel comfortable acting like one. Where as I got the parts for the gal a bit uptoned masculine naturally and have a sex drive of a horse. We are very happy with each other even though our roles are complete opposite in every way possible to our respective biological settings. No one is trans we just behave as we are between our ears so he is actually the role of a wife and I the Husband. No we don’t have kids because I am not 💯 percent built for that. We get lots of laughs and looks because it.
Thank you Dr Z for that SUPER AFIRMING MSG!! You know how we are. We can question and requestion our selves, it appears that is how i got into that pattern of purging and on and on!!
What an absolute fantastic video! Dr. Z, once again, you have hit the nail on the head as this very topic was one I was talking with my therapist about earlier this week. How are you? Broke it down really, really makes it easier to remove the emotions and deal with facts based on results of the data points that are forthcoming. Thank you once again for the time and effort you put into these videos, I can only imagine the number of people that are equally thankful for all you do.
Your presentation and confidence is amazing. If you SEO your UA-cam channel and do a little marketing, I think your popularity and recognition will spread worldwide.
So, having established my gender identity, but unable to transition just yet, how do I deal with the doubts? As an AMAB, one of the ways is to ask myself: "Do I want to be/live my life as a man?" For me, the answer has always been a definite NO. So, I may not always be 100% sure that I want to go through a transition to live my life as a woman. But I am always certain that I don't want to be a man. I hope that going through the transition will confirm the results of my thought experiment
Nonbinary trans person here. I'm kinda in the same boat. I know I'm not a man, and I'm actually on hrt, but I don't consider myself a woman either, although decidedly femme. And I'm okay with that. Wishing you the best with your experiments.
@@shelleyfromtheblock Thanks, and best of luck to you on your journey! I'm a binary person myself, but I also believe that finding true happiness is more important than the spot on the spectrum where we find it 🙂
@simplificator001 I gotta say that going through medical/surgical gender transition as a way to confirm your thoughts is not the best way. Best to take safe social steps first that do not carry irreversible changes to asses how you feel, once you are affirmed, then move into other steps. Hope this helps.
@@DRZPHD Thanks Dr Z! I agree 💯 The plan is to start with social transition, then move on to HRT. All the while constantly checking if this is what makes me happier. And as long as the irreversible changes make me irreversibly happier, I'll be okay with them ☺️
as time goes on my desire to transtion is not so urgent i feel a sense a fun crossdressing i know i will never stop i look foward to hearing what you have to say thank you dr z luv chloe anne
I know I’m trans because I want a vaginalplasty which I will never get but I know no matter what I do I always go back to a woman because it’s at my core my estrogen was 9 times higher. I lived the dream in nyc. I am so so proud of the things I’ve accomplished I will never go back to male ew gross. I’m so thankful for your videos.
I always find these videos so synchronistic! I have been laboring over this question so much lately. But one other thing that haunts me is that it still feels illegitimate. I delve into a lot of spirituality and I wonder if this is a kind of "attachment" in a Buddhist or Hindu sense. I also carry a lot of Christian ideas from the past and I feel like it is a kind of envy or desire and those are treated as very suspect. It's not even so much the guilt as the idea that "The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Is it legitimate to want to change my gender or is it a kind of greed?
I can't see how wanting to be comfortable with yourself in your gender could be considered greedy, although I can see how religious distortion can make one feel that sense, because in some flavors, there's a lot of guilt-tripping going on.
@JMJensenRMCAD I strongly believe it is legitimate to seek happiness, to end suffering and pain because by doing so, you will be a happier person and will have a more positive impact on everyone around you, including the world.
Based on my personal experience, I think the distrust comes from stigma and internalized transphobia. Society wants you to be straight and cis, and inundates you with the message that being trans is a choice, and that too many people turning out to be trans is a bad thing. There have even been some in the psychological field who assume that gender patients are inherently untrustworthy, which only feeds into the same narrative. It gets worse if you have an intersecting status like disability or chronic illness, as you are often told to grin and bear it and stop complaining, which teaches you to distrust yourself and ignore what your mind and body are telling you. When it comes to any kind of medical condition though, it's up to the patient to recognize the issue and come forward seeking help. Whether it's physical or mental, you cannot sit around waiting for someone to diagnose a problem for you. A doctor isn't going to show up at your door and tell you something is amiss. You have to go to the doctor yourself. Therefore the only way to tell if you have gender dysphoria is if you first recognize signs of it on your own, and it's up to you to seek professional help. Gender identity is an inherent immutable trait just like sexual orientation. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and there's nothing wrong with you if it turns out you're trans. We're still living in a time when we're finding out how many trans people there really are, and it's likely more than people once assumed.
I agree with you 100% And when you say look back over your live, all applies. Now I have been diagnosed by 2 professionals as having gender dysphoria. So no debate. But I made it to 61. So I am trying to make it the rest of the way without her taking over. But we are at war for sure.
So with all our technology there is no way to compare a female brain vs male brain like size or development under MRI or anything like this? Also where I live there are two places that help with rewiring the brain to help with cognition and memory and depression and anxiety?
Yes MRI scans constantly determine whether we have female or male brain based on the sexually dimorphic nucleus in the preoptic area of the brain, it is a small area that makes a difference with regards to self perceotion, all the other areas of the brain have to do more with the size and hormonal development, which is influenced by HRT later on, trans women's brain fires as the female brain based on the neuroscience alone, there are evidences on this, trans women and cis women have the same body instincts which determine who we wish to associate ourselves with, women usually want to be around other women, and men around other men for instance, trans women and cis women have the same visual perception, the sensitivity to smell or sound, there's also an evidence that trans people are a completely epigenetically a different human spoecies from cis population, some trans clinics tend to send their clients for MRI scans to determine if they're trans, but probably not most of them. Plus our gender identity is biological developed in the mother's womb during the first half of pregnancy, which means it's up to you to get in touch with that gender identity to reveal to you how you perceive your body, how do you wish to have sex, how do you wish your partner would address you, what body of yours he/she would touch. These kinds of questions you need to explore. Imagine yourself walking and talking with a woman as a woman, then doing the same with a man, then imagine yourself as a man doing the same with both genders. Through relationship we can more easily discover our gender identity as well.
@Brianadawn there is limited research pointing to certain areas of brain matter differentiation in cis folks and trans folks. However, it is inconclusive and very limited.
Hi. I know it feels very scary right now given the political climate but I truly feel that the extreme will not happen, in the very least in the supportive states such as California.
When I was 10 I knew this wasn't right the changes in life that make a man thrusted on me that was 1970 in 1974 I had an outing with my parents my mom is got my stash place for my clothes she had blamed herself for it and I knew it had nothing to do with her there was no one there to help my transition so I put on a skirt tight talk and run away from home it didn't work out so well two guys in a car hit me over the head and threw me in a cage they raped me compete until I escaped I went home I tried to tell somebody but nobody seemed to care years go by my brother is gay and he wanted to get it keep a job but he kept getting fired everywhere 1977 the picture you see is me just before the Democratic party says they wouldn't help us they had other things to do for my friends committed suicide I went onto the army thinking maybe I could get killed in the battle that didn't happen nobody could really keep a job being gay or trans my brother he got AIDS he died I met somebody and we made babies 5 you're at yet I felt not right in my body sex was wrong 3 years ago Donald Trump came into power and push the gay rights in through the Supreme Court we had a right to keep a job discriminated against started my transition at first it was hard. But now I am the happiest I've ever been in my life I got boobs LOL
Greetings! Honestly, this video is incredible! I was wondering if I can help you to edit your videos and create some highly engaging visuals and shorts out of them. Here also I did a whole case study on your social media pages and you would be surprised with the scope of improvement that I found in your content. I got some serious inputs for you and I would love to share them ASAP. I am excited to read your positive response. Thanks
Thank you but honestly I don't have a budget for it. You are welcome to email me your ideas & rates for future consideration if you want. natalia@drzphd.com
Hi there. I have just come to the conclusion after suffering gender dysphoria that I am a male woman. I am a woman because that is the word that best defines my personality type. Why should I change just because society has dictated that the woman personality is strictly related to being female or looking like one. I think it's really sad that what is basically transsexuality has been misnamed and become mainstream just because women who are born male feel they need to fit into a society that is corrupt and has it's priorities all wrong. We're not the ones who need to transition, it's society that needs to transition, and stop turning vulnerable males with beautiful gentle feminine spirits into freakish medical experiments. Sorry if that sounds transphobic, but I'm not afraid of trans people, I feel sorry for them that they have been sold a lie that they will feel better once they have mutilated themselves so they can fit into a construct that isn't even real. The only truth is biological sex and masculine and feminine spirit. And as far as I am aware, most males are feminine spirits and most females are masculine spirits. Go bloody figure. It's time we got back to loving ourselves and each other as we are and as we were born, and stop trying to conform to a society that is never going to accept us anyway and end up living a life where you're constantly pushing shit up hill. Thanks for the channel!
Thank you for sharing. I do with society was more open, however, there so so so many adult trans who have spend years, and I mean decades, trying to love themselves. Sadly gender dysphoria doesn't work like that. Sure for some people it is a matter of gender expression and there is no need for surgeries, but not for all. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being feminine man or masculine women and many are without the need to transition or identify as trans.
I’m sixty years old until I was fifty eight I was in complete denial that I was a transgender woman. My mind created all sorts of creative ways to ignore this truth. Now that I have finally accepted the truth of who I am when I look back at my life it’s so obvious I’m trans. Some of my earliest memories when I was only five or six years old were of wishing or pretending to be a girl.
Welcome to the family hon! ♥
Arghhh the mind is a tricky thing.
You're telling my story ... 😆
I was able to mostly suppress the feelings until I was 68 when I hit the wall. That was a very scary time when I completely lost control and I had a nearly
uncontrollable urge to emasculate myself and my coping measures no longer worked. That's when I was forced to reach out for help and learned the
feelings I should be female were genuine because I actually had been a woman pretending to be a man my entire life. Suddenly my entire life made sense.
Turns out, we actually weren't pretending.
Up until I was 64 (2 years ago), I always was in denial that I was transgender. I always considered my self as a crossdresser even though I had thoughts of being female as far back as 4 years old. I went through different ways of denying the truth, doing very 'masculine' things like muscle cars, fast motorcycles, scuba diving, and even home construction. Anything to block out and deny who I am. The pandemic lockdowns provided me an opportunity to listen to myself as I worked remotely. I finally was not able to deny myself any longer. I entered into therapy and around the 3rd, maybe 4th session, my therapist said to me truly feel as a therapist that you should have been born a girl". The light went on! I asked "Are you saying I'm transgender?" She agreed and it was if a huge weight had been lifted from me! I finally knew who I am, have started HRT (14 months now), haven't looked back, and have realized this was the best decision I ever made! Thanks Dr. Z for another inspiring video! 💖💖
Thank you for sharing.
Dangerous rapist !
As always, your video is right on time! I'm nearly a year into my transition and up until about a week ago I was 100% confident even though all my family and stuff cut me off. I've been on hormones, I'm growing breasts and everything. It wasn't until the last week or two I started getting scared that maybe I was just dumb and rash. I currently live in a very not-accepting state so even going to the grocery store is stressful. I'm nearly 50 though and I didn't make this decision lightly. What I came to realize in the last few days is that the majority of my fear is me. I know 100% that I am "clockable" no matter how hard I try so I just always think people are thinking the absolute worst and judging me. However, with literally EVERYTHING I've faced on my journey I always come back to the same thing and this has been my soul-saver: If I didn't have to worry about what ANYONE else thinks, how would I live happily? THIS is my TRUE north. I don't care what body I was born in biologically. I AM a woman. I am HAPPY living that way if I remove all the exterior obstacles. So, now, whenever I start questioning everything I remind myself that I'm not doing any of this for anyone else. I'm an extremely giving person but THIS....THIS is for ME! Sorry for going long but I just want to say one more thing...every moment...every day we are alive is a privilege. Over 30,000 people died in the recent earthquake in Turkey and Syria. THIRTY THOUSAND individual beautiful human beings like me and you! 🥺 Yet, I am still here for whatever reason. As long as I have breath, it is my amazing privilege and opportunity to be happy in my own skin - as it is everyone's. I'm preaching to myself right now but don't waste your life not being who you actually are no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
Thank you for sharing and I am so glad to hear you are living your truth.
Well said Michelle... 💕
Hrt will help with passability!!
@@tm33398 I’ve been on HRT for 5 months. For FTM yes, HRT 100% helps with passability. But for MTF, not so much.
Sometimes being selfish is the best thing we can do. 💜🏳️⚧️
I really resonated with the comparison of doing an experiment. I used to struggle to pinpoint whether I was trans or not, because I didn't have any classic childhood-experience indicators and of the spreading narrative that young "girls" were being "influenced by social media". The answer I came up with at the time was to keep a notebook and record recurring patterns in my understanding of my gender and intensity of dysphoria. Whenever I doubt myself (or someone in my life expresses doubt) that I'm trans, I have the data and I've done the analysis. If I need more data, I can always collect it. I take a bit of pride in my "gender science" :)
I love your gender science! It is a prudent way to know thyself!
applying the scientific method to exploring your gender identity is actually a great way to approach it. I work in the scientific field myself, and am currently heavily questioning my gender identity. It helps enormously to understand that I can't 'know' what gender I am because there's not enough datapoints to confirm nor reject my 'hypothesis'. Thank you for your videos, they have been of much help the past few weeks.
So glad you find content helpful.
I'm early in transition. I have so many questions and the answers keep lining up to as pattern as described.
At middle age it is easy to question yourself when so much of your life experience has been in denial. Do I trust what works for everyone else and continue to be unhappy that it doesn't work for me? Why? If everyone else gets to be happy, doing what makes them happy, why can't I be happy doing what makes me happy? Even as I worry about how it will change my future, I already see improvements in my life. Improvements that would have made my early years so much happier. Why trust what works for others when I have my own results?
Great questions, why indeed? I suggest to stop focusing on others and focus on yourself. Only by being true to yourself can you be happy and therefore have a positive impact on others.
The mind generates fear, and that's a hurdle that has to be overcome to progress often.
I don't know if it's directly comparable, but I once had social anxiety - and this has nothing to do with my transition, and was way before I started experimenting to determine that I am trans - but I wanted to learn to fly.
Learning to fly sounds scary, right? And it is.
The scariest part for me happened before I even visited the airport for the first time. I had to complete a half-hour journey in a car; I knew where to go. I felt physically sick at the prospect, and I believe I even vomited slightly. I pushed through it. Nothing after that, not learning to land the aircraft, not even transition, ever came close. I believe my mind was trying to protect me from the unknown since it knew that it was less risky for me if I did not learn to fly, and this happened again later in life when I began transitioning. In both cases, pushing through the fear has made me happier and made me grow as a person.
Thank you for sharing. Glad to hear you pushed through.
I'm 68. I never found the answer, but I don't care anymore. Most of my personality traits are considered feminine; I have always been called feminine; I like being feminine, and I have always wanted to be female. Isn't that enough? No one has ever called me a "real man". I live and present as a woman, so what ever I am is close enough. Even though I have always wished I was a girl, I never really considered my experience to be dysphoria. I'm just me, and over the years, I gradually realized I'm much more of a woman than a man.
Totally hear you, at certain age, it may be irrelevant to dig for certainties.
TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY ON T & I FREAKED OUT SO BAD & CRIED WHEN I DID IT BUT AAAAAH I'M SO EXCITED. 🥳
Okay, time to carry on & watch the video, lol
Hey congrats. Take one day at a time and pay attention how ti make you feel. Perhaps journal what you notice. Gender identity is all about awareness.
@@DRZPHD I'm already ahead of you!! Your advice has been instrumental in getting me here... And I actually have the mental clarity to journal! I'm really excited for the future. 💕
This is a REALLY good one for me.
I spent so much of my life… daydreaming about getting to be…
And in later years, I even thought “well of course I want to be a… But I’m not trans”. It doesn’t help that it’s hard for me to accept that not everyone feels like me.
After I quit repressing, I spent a full year debating whether to start e, partially for health concerns, mostly because of how evil society is, and how scared I am.
Even while repressing, I would daydream about it, and was too scared to do anything about it, plus I didn’t understand about hormones, I didn’t really think there’s anything I COULD do.
Plus, I’ve been absolutely horrified, my entire life by the “M type person in a dress” thing.
I still worry about whether I actually AM a ****, or just want to be. I’m not 1000% sure I believe that wanting to be means that I actually am.
It’s gross to think that I’m the other thing though.
If nothing else, e has almost entirely eliminated my frequent headaches. I was NOT expecting that. I can’t remember anyone talking about headaches going away. But I used to have headaches at least multiple times a week, if not daily, and on day two of taking e, they went away almost entirely.
If all I end up accomplishing is this being a headache remedy, that might be worth it 😂
I really wish I could just be cis. I mean there’s other things I would wish for first, like ending fascism, homelessness, giving everyone all the healthcare and food, they need, etc., but I really wish I could just have my body and especially my face be…okay. 😕
Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.
I feel this point really applies to me. I think I am trans. A knot in my stomach loosens when I think of myself as a women (I have a male body) And my approach over several years now, since my trans epiphany at the age of 29(!), has all along been exploring this question in my mind. Trying to feel into it. Reading about it. Exploring my internal blocks. And at the same time just living my life totally disconnected from this question, waiting for myself to first resolve this in my mind. But I know I cant. I think I have known for many years. But thanks for reminding me of this simple, but difficult fact. That I have to test it out, not just let my mind ruminate. Im scared of letting go. But hearing what needs to be done is a good thing! :)
Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.
My dad's a scientist and I learned the principles of inquiry from him at a young age. I instinctively take a skeptical scientific approach to figuring out problems, withholding judgement until I can see a pattern. I have a lot of food allergies, so I have to keep alert and notice what I've eaten when and what sorts of subtle effects I've experienced, to try to figure out what foods have caused what problems.
So it's very sensible to me to apply these principles to the mind and experience as well.
Not struggling with mind as much but more the realization of I don’t know if I enjoy sex. I can’t ever remember a time where I was happy or elated afterwards. The feel of orgasms, the lack of multiples, ect. It hit me in the gut this morning and sent me for a ride
You may want to explore your sexuality.
@@DRZPHD that’s what I am in the process of doing. That realization helped me realize I actually have bottom dysphoria and that bottom surgery is a transition goal. Also my role in sex can not come from a dominant position I click off immediately
@@roisinbrown5532my partner is similar. Doesn’t like the dominant role. Hates to be the one that wants it first. Had failed in most of relationships. But we got together that changed it unexpectedly . He is actually bi sexual but when meeting me a masculine intersexed woman that actually do all the guy things behavior wise with gal bits I was the answer to his prayers. He is very feminine in his feelings and physique but is definitely male. Just doesn’t feel comfortable acting like one. Where as I got the parts for the gal a bit uptoned masculine naturally and have a sex drive of a horse. We are very happy with each other even though our roles are complete opposite in every way possible to our respective biological settings. No one is trans we just behave as we are between our ears so he is actually the role of a wife and I the Husband. No we don’t have kids because I am not 💯 percent built for that. We get lots of laughs and looks because it.
Thank you Dr Z for that SUPER AFIRMING MSG!! You know how we are. We can question and requestion our selves, it appears that is how i got into that pattern of purging and on and on!!
Yes I do, thats why I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you navigate things.
So on point, as usual Dr.Z
Love your necklace BTW!!! ❤
Thank you! Thats a new one from my dear friend from Poland.
Of all your talks Dr.Z this one might be the most affecting for me. Thank you so much 💖 x
You are so welcome
What an absolute fantastic video! Dr. Z, once again, you have hit the nail on the head as this very topic was one I was talking with my therapist about earlier this week. How are you? Broke it down really, really makes it easier to remove the emotions and deal with facts based on results of the data points that are forthcoming. Thank you once again for the time and effort you put into these videos, I can only imagine the number of people that are equally thankful for all you do.
Glad it was helpful! And the goodwill karma of "thank yous" I get is what life is all about.
Your presentation and confidence is amazing.
If you SEO your UA-cam channel and do a little marketing, I think your popularity and recognition will spread worldwide.
Thank you.
You can solve these problems if you want. I will tell you the way to solve it
So, having established my gender identity, but unable to transition just yet, how do I deal with the doubts? As an AMAB, one of the ways is to ask myself: "Do I want to be/live my life as a man?" For me, the answer has always been a definite NO. So, I may not always be 100% sure that I want to go through a transition to live my life as a woman. But I am always certain that I don't want to be a man. I hope that going through the transition will confirm the results of my thought experiment
Nonbinary trans person here. I'm kinda in the same boat. I know I'm not a man, and I'm actually on hrt, but I don't consider myself a woman either, although decidedly femme. And I'm okay with that. Wishing you the best with your experiments.
@@shelleyfromtheblock Thanks, and best of luck to you on your journey! I'm a binary person myself, but I also believe that finding true happiness is more important than the spot on the spectrum where we find it 🙂
@simplificator001 I gotta say that going through medical/surgical gender transition as a way to confirm your thoughts is not the best way. Best to take safe social steps first that do not carry irreversible changes to asses how you feel, once you are affirmed, then move into other steps. Hope this helps.
@@AngelicaVee That's my take as well. There is no one transition fits all. :)
@@DRZPHD Thanks Dr Z! I agree 💯 The plan is to start with social transition, then move on to HRT. All the while constantly checking if this is what makes me happier. And as long as the irreversible changes make me irreversibly happier, I'll be okay with them ☺️
The person I trust the least is myself as every time I've been fooled it was finally by myself.
Yes we are often misguiding ourselves. Mind doesn't like change.
as time goes on my desire to transtion is not so urgent i feel a sense a fun crossdressing i know i will never stop i look foward to hearing what you have to say thank you dr z luv chloe anne
Thats fine if you do not feel a need to transition or it's not urgent. Listen to yourself, always.
I know I’m trans because I want a vaginalplasty which I will never get but I know no matter what I do I always go back to a woman because it’s at my core my estrogen was 9 times higher. I lived the dream in nyc. I am so so proud of the things I’ve accomplished I will never go back to male ew gross. I’m so thankful for your videos.
Never say never :) Glad you experienced your dream. I love NYC.
You are still male.
You are so right that's what I'm going through my mind is telling me.
Thank you so much this is the exact question i needed answered
Glad I could help!
My patterns add up!! Purge, redo, purge, redo, purge, redo!! Ad infinitum!!
Sorry to hear that.
@@DRZPHD Those patterns gave me enough evidence of legitimacy and therapists online, such as yourself, helps me to get past denial and Transphobia
I always find these videos so synchronistic! I have been laboring over this question so much lately. But one other thing that haunts me is that it still feels illegitimate. I delve into a lot of spirituality and I wonder if this is a kind of "attachment" in a Buddhist or Hindu sense. I also carry a lot of Christian ideas from the past and I feel like it is a kind of envy or desire and those are treated as very suspect. It's not even so much the guilt as the idea that "The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Is it legitimate to want to change my gender or is it a kind of greed?
I can't see how wanting to be comfortable with yourself in your gender could be considered greedy, although I can see how religious distortion can make one feel that sense, because in some flavors, there's a lot of guilt-tripping going on.
@JMJensenRMCAD I strongly believe it is legitimate to seek happiness, to end suffering and pain because by doing so, you will be a happier person and will have a more positive impact on everyone around you, including the world.
One thing I know for certain is I don't feel like a man. I can't do the gender role, It feels foreign to me.
Totally hear you.
I so relate to that!
Based on my personal experience, I think the distrust comes from stigma and internalized transphobia. Society wants you to be straight and cis, and inundates you with the message that being trans is a choice, and that too many people turning out to be trans is a bad thing. There have even been some in the psychological field who assume that gender patients are inherently untrustworthy, which only feeds into the same narrative. It gets worse if you have an intersecting status like disability or chronic illness, as you are often told to grin and bear it and stop complaining, which teaches you to distrust yourself and ignore what your mind and body are telling you.
When it comes to any kind of medical condition though, it's up to the patient to recognize the issue and come forward seeking help. Whether it's physical or mental, you cannot sit around waiting for someone to diagnose a problem for you. A doctor isn't going to show up at your door and tell you something is amiss. You have to go to the doctor yourself. Therefore the only way to tell if you have gender dysphoria is if you first recognize signs of it on your own, and it's up to you to seek professional help. Gender identity is an inherent immutable trait just like sexual orientation. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and there's nothing wrong with you if it turns out you're trans. We're still living in a time when we're finding out how many trans people there really are, and it's likely more than people once assumed.
Thank you for sharing.
Profound, ty
I agree with you 100% And when you say look back over your live, all applies. Now I have been diagnosed by 2 professionals as having gender dysphoria. So no debate. But I made it to 61. So I am trying to make it the rest of the way without her taking over. But we are at war for sure.
Aghhh what a struggle!
So with all our technology there is no way to compare a female brain vs male brain like size or development under MRI or anything like this? Also where I live there are two places that help with rewiring the brain to help with cognition and memory and depression and anxiety?
There is information/research about that, and iirc, there is not a major difference between the brain of the male/female.
@@shelleyfromtheblock thank you for your response. I’ve seen some but no definitive answer either way.
Yes MRI scans constantly determine whether we have female or male brain based on the sexually dimorphic nucleus in the preoptic area of the brain, it is a small area that makes a difference with regards to self perceotion, all the other areas of the brain have to do more with the size and hormonal development, which is influenced by HRT later on, trans women's brain fires as the female brain based on the neuroscience alone, there are evidences on this, trans women and cis women have the same body instincts which determine who we wish to associate ourselves with, women usually want to be around other women, and men around other men for instance, trans women and cis women have the same visual perception, the sensitivity to smell or sound, there's also an evidence that trans people are a completely epigenetically a different human spoecies from cis population, some trans clinics tend to send their clients for MRI scans to determine if they're trans, but probably not most of them. Plus our gender identity is biological developed in the mother's womb during the first half of pregnancy, which means it's up to you to get in touch with that gender identity to reveal to you how you perceive your body, how do you wish to have sex, how do you wish your partner would address you, what body of yours he/she would touch. These kinds of questions you need to explore. Imagine yourself walking and talking with a woman as a woman, then doing the same with a man, then imagine yourself as a man doing the same with both genders. Through relationship we can more easily discover our gender identity as well.
@Brianadawn there is limited research pointing to certain areas of brain matter differentiation in cis folks and trans folks. However, it is inconclusive and very limited.
Why would anyone spend money to look if a brain is male or female?
If they outlaw hrt & gender surgery's what can we do?
Hi. I know it feels very scary right now given the political climate but I truly feel that the extreme will not happen, in the very least in the supportive states such as California.
Become a criminal and fight back. There is no justification to outlaw trans health care.
I love your necklace!!!!
When I was 10 I knew this wasn't right the changes in life that make a man thrusted on me that was 1970 in 1974 I had an outing with my parents my mom is got my stash place for my clothes she had blamed herself for it and I knew it had nothing to do with her there was no one there to help my transition so I put on a skirt tight talk and run away from home it didn't work out so well two guys in a car hit me over the head and threw me in a cage they raped me compete until I escaped I went home I tried to tell somebody but nobody seemed to care years go by my brother is gay and he wanted to get it keep a job but he kept getting fired everywhere 1977 the picture you see is me just before the Democratic party says they wouldn't help us they had other things to do for my friends committed suicide I went onto the army thinking maybe I could get killed in the battle that didn't happen nobody could really keep a job being gay or trans my brother he got AIDS he died I met somebody and we made babies 5 you're at yet I felt not right in my body sex was wrong 3 years ago Donald Trump came into power and push the gay rights in through the Supreme Court we had a right to keep a job discriminated against started my transition at first it was hard. But now I am the happiest I've ever been in my life I got boobs LOL
So glad to hear you are happier now.
My mind is always saying such hurtful and transphobic things to me and I literally go crazy sometimes and just laying in bed wallowing over them
Ohhh I am so sorry. Our minds can be very mean but often it doesn't mean anything. You can also work on changing your mind thought patterns.
Yes yes yes!!!!
Greetings! Honestly, this video is incredible! I was wondering if I can help you to edit your videos and create some highly engaging visuals and shorts out of them. Here also I did a whole case study on your social media pages and you would be surprised with the scope of improvement that I found in your content. I got some serious inputs for you and I would love to share them ASAP. I am excited to read your positive response. Thanks
Thank you but honestly I don't have a budget for it. You are welcome to email me your ideas & rates for future consideration if you want. natalia@drzphd.com
100 %
Hi there. I have just come to the conclusion after suffering gender dysphoria that I am a male woman. I am a woman because that is the word that best defines my personality type. Why should I change just because society has dictated that the woman personality is strictly related to being female or looking like one. I think it's really sad that what is basically transsexuality has been misnamed and become mainstream just because women who are born male feel they need to fit into a society that is corrupt and has it's priorities all wrong. We're not the ones who need to transition, it's society that needs to transition, and stop turning vulnerable males with beautiful gentle feminine spirits into freakish medical experiments. Sorry if that sounds transphobic, but I'm not afraid of trans people, I feel sorry for them that they have been sold a lie that they will feel better once they have mutilated themselves so they can fit into a construct that isn't even real. The only truth is biological sex and masculine and feminine spirit. And as far as I am aware, most males are feminine spirits and most females are masculine spirits. Go bloody figure. It's time we got back to loving ourselves and each other as we are and as we were born, and stop trying to conform to a society that is never going to accept us anyway and end up living a life where you're constantly pushing shit up hill. Thanks for the channel!
Thank you for sharing. I do with society was more open, however, there so so so many adult trans who have spend years, and I mean decades, trying to love themselves. Sadly gender dysphoria doesn't work like that. Sure for some people it is a matter of gender expression and there is no need for surgeries, but not for all. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being feminine man or masculine women and many are without the need to transition or identify as trans.
You mix woman with feminine.
Telling that a taste is feminine is already conforming to society!
Much better jewelry !
Wasabi, Japanese mustard, not for delicate people lol,
No, clearly not for me.