thank you for talking about Freeze!! I struggled after my assault w the fact that I froze. I was actually unable to move and I'm a tough feminist who likes to believe I can fight whatever is thrown at me but my body responded and said "just stop and wait for it to be over". I carried a lot of blame about that until my therapist told me freeze was the third evolutionary reaction to attack that we don't always talk about. Thank you thank you. That reality is so important to so many survivors.
Yes! I had a similar experience. I had never heard of the freeze response, despite having taken courses in psychology as well as biology. When my psychologist first said "fight, flight, or freeze" I thought she was making it up. I thought something was wrong with me and carried so much guilt for so long. It's so important to make people aware that the freeze response is real and not something to feel ashamed for having experienced. Thank you for talking about it in this video. Thank you for doing this series.
loliejane so sorry that happened to you too. It kind of adds to the confusion and terror when your body stops working. You aren't alone and it wasn't your fault
Thank you ❤️ Same to you. I really appreciate the support, and you sharing your experience. I'm so sorry you went through it, but I felt less alone after reading it.
Julia S Yes, I can relate, when I was assaulted by pushing me hard from behind in an adult classroom by a black guy, I froze instead of yelling and I didn't deal with it.
Please share the video on your social media (twitter, facebook reddit etc) By sharing you never know who you might be helping :) Thanks for watching! xoxo
Dr. Alexa Altman hi I've only had one treatment ever work for me. But what I'm finding is real Trauma Therapy is different. My trauma happened 5years ago but I was wanting a brush up with a similar course. I have yet to find a similar program. My therapist seems to think she's educated with trauma but...... This just isn't the case. I believe. :( I'm diagnosed with Sever Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, Bipolar2 and PTSD.
Dr. Alexa Altman I have extensive trauma, my issue is my body reacts. Like I talk to my therapist and then all of a sudden I feel the pain my body remembers the abuse.. I can’t shut it off feels so un normal..
I think there should be a video talking about the "freeze" and "fight or flight" responses with caracteristics of each and why some people get "up" or "down" and how steps to bring them to the resilience zone differ depending on the "up" or "down" zones.
Kati sounded so happy.. what an insightful conversation, quite literally called me out.. Had no idea i was traumatized until I watched this. Thank you so much for sharing
I’ve been terribly bullied in high school and I’ve had two suicide attempts after the event. I’ve had terrible anxiety but it’s getting better. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. The suicide attempts traumatized me just as much as the bullying did. But more traumatizing.
This playlist with the both of you is some of the best content I've ever absorbed. It really helped to put names and concepts to things I think I already intuitively knew, but didn't know how to articulate, or put all the pieces together. Once you give these concepts names and rules it makes them easier to manipulate or repair different parts of your life. Thanks so much for sharing this!
This video came at the exact right time. After months, my therapist and I were never able to figure out why I am suffering so many chronic anxiety disorders and panic attacks and why so many of my schemas scale unusually high. I have symptoms that relate to trauma from child abuse and it was only today I was able to dig up repressed memories and come to terms with the fact that as a 5 to 7 year old, I suffered COCSA. I'm now beginning trauma therapy and I'm willing to be open about it as it personally helps me feel less shame around my experience and perhaps my ability to talk openly about what happened to me may encourage silent sufferers to disclose their trauma. Thank you for your amazing videos. You help so many people.
Thank you so much for sharing your story :) I am so glad you are working with a great therapist who can help you process through all that happened. xoxo
That tunnel thing she was talking about while explaining freeze is exactly what I get. I thought I was just weird and I had no idea what to call it. I'm glad I have a name for it now. Thank you both for this video.
I've been struggling with my ptsd/bpd as of late and don't have access to treatment right now, but your videos and YouNow streams have truly helped so much. Thank you so much for all you do, you're a constant reminder to keep fighting xox
Darling! I know it's hard for people with mental illness. Think positive thoughts. Exercise is one good therapy to relax ours nervous system. The nervous system branches out and has a direct relationship with every cell in the body. Exercise opens up the receptors within the neurons of the nervous system so that communication between the brain and the bodies cells is free flowing. Your body performs better. Meditate helps you stay focus and breath well.( is good to breath deep) Remember life's beautiful. Hope you find peace and love in yourself =)
i see my social worker (jan 3rd) today. this just explained soooooo much that I need to talk about tonight. the freeze sounds exactly what I feel like. thank you soooooooo much, you have zero idea how helpful this is!!!
Thank you so much for sharing these videos to the world. I have been suffering 24/7 depersonalization for 7 years. I also developed very specific phobias at the same time. After watching your stuff, I realized that there might actually be hope for me in getting out of this brain fog/high. I found someone and was diagnosed with PTSD about a week or so again. And I’m weirdly happy to know that I’m not dying or insane. I’m starting trauma therapy now and while I know it won’t be an instant fix, I feel hopeful that I just might be able to reconnect to my surroundings and feel awake again. Thank you.
I think you two hit the nail on the head regarding my response to the trauma I endured from birth to well into adulthood. I have always frozen when traumatized, and I truly had nowhere to run and no way to fight. To this day, at 48 years old, I still respond the same way to triggers. As well, I seem to be resisting my therapist's gentle efforts to bring me into the "A Zone" because 1) it is entirely foreign and 2) I only trust myself to watch for danger (which is everywhere!!!). I hope that whenever I can get my service dog, these things will begin to change.
Thank you Kati! the four years of high school for me gave me a tone of trauma and 2 years later i'm still trying to find ways to cope with the worst 4 years of my life. To this day I feel like my life won't get better. but your videos are always helpful!
Thank you SO MUCH! My trauma therapist explained this to me a few weeks in. But I've never seen it on a graph. So helpful. So glad you were able to do this. So excited for this series on trauma.
I'm currently in college to become a social worker and am so glad I came across your videos. I have so much to learn to help others and even help myself. I believe I've had a lot of traumas as a child and even in my young teen years, and now that I'm on my own in college, I think I've found my safe place, but I don't feel completely normal. I think I will go to therapy to see if I can get it taken care of!
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I've spent most of my life in fight, flight, and freeze states due to growing up in a toxic environment as well as going through an abusive relationship. I've never known what it's like to feel safe. I've been in therapy on and off since I was 8 years old. Thankfully, my current therapist of 5 years is trauma informed and I think I'm on the right path toward learning to be more resilient. This video was SO helpful. Thank you Kati and Alexa for explaining trauma therapy in a way that makes sense.
I'm so, so glad I've found out about freeze and dissociation/derealisation. Fight or flight didn't fit my responses and I've always felt like my mental ill health didn't fit into any of the categories I was hearing about which was really upsetting in itself. I feel like there is hope!! Thank you so much for your videos x
I know this video is 5 years old but I never realized that as a child when I was faced with trauma I froze. I experience a lot of maladaptive daydreaming as an adult, and I had a really overactive imagination as a child which I didn't realize until now was a self-defense mechanism. Thank you for having this information available.
Wow. This is the best description I've ever heard. You just explained my whole life in less 14 mins. I've been living in High Zone/Low Zone for as long as I can remember. I'm just now beginning treatment for PTSD. Thank you guys.
thank you for this video. this makes so much sense. i'm wheelchair bound and have dealt with a lot of trauma and dissociate quite often and i'm also hyper aware of my surroundings. always looking over my shoulder
Thank you Kati. I am finding the trauma videos very helpful. I don't understand my trauma and it is really shocking to hear about my emotions from a professional perspective. I think I need some support. I have decided to get some therapy. A heartfelt thank you again.
Definitely needed this video lately. I've dabbled in emdr and other trauma therapy briefly, and especially with how I've been doing mentally lately, have been thinking about trying again.
This was so interesting and easy to follow along. I can only imagine how many people you've sincerely helped through all the incredible content you have Kati. I'm partially envious of what you've created here and the incredible impact you are making on UA-cam -- reaching the darkest, most pained places in your viewers' hearts and bringing light, hope and healing. While I'm not a professional, I have a big heart to love and encourage people and see them attain breakthrough, and though I'm still in my humble beginnings here on UA-cam I have such a passion to bright light and life to others through my videos, helping them rethink themselves and life and realize how loved they are by God and how much purpose he had in creating them. I'm on the journey of overcoming in my life and want to herd every other hurting person with me into the light, freedom and joy that is found in the intimate, personal love of God.💖 grateful for you Kati for the beautiful impact you are making. 😊xo kaylyn
Been unable to sleep and the insomnia is uppp there and I cant stop thinking how i am gonna die or something crazy from simply going to get coffee w someone not sociopathic
It took me 20 years to be able to use the word trauma. It was normal for me, not trauma. Not everyone knows how to heal, or can heal. Some people are broke... permanently...
This video series is wonderful! You two inspire me to continue taking those small steps into the resilience zone. Thank you for helping me to keep going with my inner work and to stay hopeful. I'm so thankful.
so pissed neither of my psychologists taught me this. honestly would have been so helpful with when i had my car accident. everything makes so much more sense. explains why i make ec basically my psychologist, because he was my safe place. thank you so much for making this video.
This was so helpful and interesting. For the past 5 months or so in therapy I'm either like full body shaking or completely dissociated and not there at all, so we've literally started doing nothing other than trying to get me to stay in my window of tolerance while I'm there. It feels like wasting time but today my therapist was talking about how we are just trying to stabilise me enough to get used to staying present in the room before we get in to anything. and it feels really frustrating because it takes so long (for me at least) and makes me feel like I'm too weak but it was helpful to watch this and see its actually kind of normal especially if it's all you've known before. 😊 thank you.xoxo 😘
Oh and I love the graph! I've been shown it before but hearing about why it's scary to even try to go back in the tolerance window was so helpful 👏 my therapist is always saying how that's what we're trying to do and I'm like but it doesn't feel safe to do that, why would I want to?! It was helpful to hear that's normal and can change gradually too 😊
Thank you so much for sharing what you are working on right now :) I am glad that this was helpful and reminds you that you are making progress and are strong enough to do the work.. you just need to get used to what being in the resilient zone feels like. xoxo
I really enjoyed this clipboard and how you broke down the fight or flight experiences. I'm someone who suffers from dissociation and ptsd and anxiety. This episode was so helpful. It explains what I'm going through. Thanks so much. This was helpful
Thank you both for this explanation. The "range of resilience" sounds like it aligns with my "bandwidth zone" of healthy available energy for myself and other people. It's something similar to spoon theory which many of my friends use to describe their brainspace. In terms of stress regulation, that epic drawing really resonates with me. During my therapeutic journey, I'm trying to develop a smooth and communicative understanding for counselors and psychotherapists I'm working with. Love this video. I appreciate you so much!
I can so relate, I feel my resilience zone is very small at the moment and I know that already. And I remember a couple years back when I was with my abusive family I felt as if I was dying even though I was 22. I took naps during the day, couldn't sleep at night, couldn't keep my head up, stumbled while walking and couldn't think. I very much have felt the exhaustion from not coming back to a safe place, which I'm still trying to seek out and find now.
I struggle with BPD and have been in therapy for 2 and a half years. I never knew I dissociated before. The freeze response has happened to me. I had asked my therapist and she didn't even think I had dissociated. I never described this freeze response because I already had a generally good understanding of dissociation. At times, the freezing response can be a helpful coping mechanism. When I'm riding in the car, obviously my brain knows I can't jump out, and therapy has helped me enough to stop ranting orcomplaoning much sooner if I start to, and upsets occur less often when regular problems arrise. I thank God for DBT. I just started EMDR this week. Exciting stuff.
Thank you for this video. It helped me understand why I used to be (and sometimes still am) in defense mode all the time. I was verbally and seldom physically agressive towards people that I saw as a threat to my well being. I used to carry so much anger against other people. I like to think I am better now. Thanks again.
The whole "freeze" aspect really spoke to me. I notice that I tend to do that a lot when I'm in situations I feel I have no way out of. I can't move and my mind basically says "if I just stay still maybe everything will stop" of course I'm normally never right. But the way you guys talked about it made me feel a little less alone that I do it. I always thought it was stupid of me to respond that way and that no one else would do that
Thank you so much for this video, Kati. I have no realized that I was in a sort of freeze state that I had no idea how to get out of for a few weeks at the end of the year, and now I will talk to my therapist about how I can get myself back in the resilient zone instead of being at the top or bottom.
I appreciate that chronic illness was mentioned. I developed an autonomic neurological condition at 18 and had to move back in with my parents. But basically, over those years I kept trying to treat my parents as partners to help fight the situation--I had all sorts of disabilities, and I had to predict and prepare for situations, and usually with help from them. Only, often I didn't get that help, not on a mental level. So I'm bouncing between hypervigilance and desperately trying to zone out, and I never know when my parents are going to be helpful, interfere with something that works for me, or belittle my concerns. I was overwhelmed, and it built for those 10 years. I didn't know how to dial it back, and between finances, the stigma of mental health (often used as an excuse to invalidate less chronical physical illnesses), and basically at a point of being triggered by well-meaning people that offer advice that completely ignores the role of the illness (many depression coping guides bring up everyday activities that weren't an option for me at the time), so I was super pent up. My stress range was so narrow, and I always felt it narrowing more, even as my physical health improved some. Incidentally, when I took a chance to live somewhere else for a few months, it was amazing how quickly I became a different person, physically and mentally. I was completely within a new range. When I had to go back to my parents, it took a few months but my range went back down--mental and physical issues easily trigger. At least now, though, I know that I'm capable and what coping mindset to find when I go out of range. Unfortunately, when you've been out of school and work for so long and still have some medical disabilities that limit your career choices, it takes time to become financially independent and find a safe space to turn to. But I'm working on it. It's a massive war that batters me periodically and slows progress, but I'm clinging to the memory of how well I did and all I need to do is make enough money to leave.
This is a really good trauma response explanation wow. I have DID (Dissociative identity disorder) and I didn't know I even had trauma till recently because of my diagnosis. the moment something gets triggering I just check out involuntarily. This might sound good to some people but actually when I switch back in I gotta deal with whatever mess was created during the time I wasn't around and sometimes that's very stressful, like suddenly I don't have a job anymore, well shit, or suddenly I have an animal I gotta take responsibility for and etc.
You deserve a safe place. Praying you all find one soon and can start or continue your healing process. It can help you better identify or find your safe place ❤
omg I need this so bad right now, ive just been through an extremely stressful month of non stop emotional abuse by my mom and exposure to my parents and their extremely toxic relationship. one day i just couldnt physically look or speak to my mom anymore, and i started just flinching at her sight. I have to put it into perspective and recover
Kati and Alexa The last three weeks have been amazing! I have been looking for relatable, accurate resources that align with the research from A.P.S.A.T.S. for the healing o myself and others. I loved this counsel so much that I decided to use it as a foundation for a topic study in a group I moderate for women who, like me, are recovering from Betrayal Trauma due to the addiction of our partners. The response was so positive and helpful that we decided to create Resiliency Boxes and keep a database of what we are putting in our boxes. I plan to do the same for kids. Thank you so much for creating these videos. You have no idea what good you have done in my world. 💕
I love this so much! Your videos are helpful! I am a LMSW and was assigned to watch therapy associated videos for my supervision assignment working toward my LCSW. Thank you much for posting such informative and easy to relate to videos
Kati, thanks for all your videos. Over the holidays while I was visiting family, my aunt started saying a bunch of very hurtful things to me. To summarize, she basically told me that everything is wrong with me, I don’t know how to do anything, I should not go to therapy or be on medication and other hurtful things. We were never discussing any of these things she just brought them up out of the blue. My family decided to leave and as we were trying to peacefully leave she told us to never come back and never to talk to her again. Mind you there was no fight-she was the only one yelling. While I know the things she said are not true and that she was drunk, I still feel hurt and shocked because I didn’t know she thought any of those things about me. I am trying to just let it go and not be upset, but what she said keeps popping back into my head. How can I not be so hurt by this and move on?
Stella Foster Stella Foster praying your heart receives peace and resolution and that you are able to extend forgiveness to her and let go of the hurt her words caused you. You are so much more than her awful words, you are AMAZING and have such an incredible future ahead of you. ❤ xo, a fellow comment reader
Stella Foster I'm sorry that happened to you :( my brother in law said a few things this holiday as well and everyone kinda just laughed it off but I was hurt by it. After talking with my friend I'm not as angry about it but still not exactly moved on.
I am so sorry she said those terrible things to you.. and you are right, they are not true and she was drunk. In all honesty, it's okay to still feel hurt about this. I would give yourself some time to write about it, vent about it to a friend or other family member, until you feel you have talked it out completely. Then I would encourage you to write down 5 things each day that you like about yourself. Whether we believe what others say or not, we need to take time and build ourselves back up.. hearing negative things has a way of sneaking in, and we have to fight back with positive things. xoxo I hope this helps!
I live in a third world country. I cannot afford this type of therapy nor go to a qualified therapist. I have tryed every option available to me with no avail. I think I will have to live with this broken personality and learn to survive with myself.
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been really processing my trauma ever since I cut contact with my mother, and a lot of my symptoms and experiences make sense and so much of it seems to come from trauma and I could never figure out why and nobody took it seriously This helps cause I have no idea where to go from here so this video really helped me think about some of the stuff and my options
this was pretty interesting. it helps paint a picture I can understand. I've spent my whole life going between the high zone and the low zone. I've always thought the low zone was regulation and now that I'm getting older and learning more I'm finding out I don't really know what regulation is or feels like and I'm lost but seeing something physical and not have it cluttered in my head really really helped me. thank you for this video!
Dang! This video has made a lot of things make sense for me! Processing my emotional baggage is something that has always seemed so daunting to me, but this video has helped to put it into perspective! It doesn’t have to be as overwhelming as I thought!
This is SO Good! Thank you so much for offering us this!! I have been trying to hard to find a therapist that specializes in trauma like her and takes my insurance, it is a lot harder than you would think :( Been through so many who told me they didn't have enough specialization to treat my trauma.
this was so helpful.....I never knew about the freeze zone. this makes so much sense to me. I have been this way for 20 years now. and I didn't know what it was.
Very helpful video! In starting therapy next month (IPT and PDT) but I think I have been traumatized and getting an insight of what we will be working on feels good!
Wow. Super helpful. I didn't know the little t's could count as trauma and I tend to blame myself not being able to take on as much of life/ challenges as others.
Has anyone done studies on large families? B/c I notice the first 4 kids seem better able to cope, compared to the last 4 of 11 kids. My nervous system was hijacked. Thank YOU both for the helpful video.
Amazing video Kati, very helpful. My new year got off to a rocky start but I'm still going to work for my goals no matter what. Going back to school tomorrow, so glad.
This is brilliant, so helpful to hear that what often feels like chaos is totally normal and okay. Thank you SO much. Can't wait for the rest of these videos. :-)
Love this a lot.. She has such a calming and interesting way of talking... I really really like it.. Could listen to it for hours.. Great video Kati. Looking forward to the ones to come :)
The part about freezing was super helpful. I know that I do this. I know that it springs from stuff that happened in childhood, where I could neither fight nor run away, where I was asked questions and every possible answer would be wrong. There has been plenty of stuff before and since, but that seemed to be a pivotal event, framing my experiences after that. So what happened since is, if I get into a conflict with a partner or friend or something like that, I start to feel like there is no right answer, that anything I say will be wrong. I can't focus on the moment, and I just start to shut down. I know what is going on around me, but I can't talk, and I can't move. It is very frightening to not be able to talk because using words is pretty much the only thing I do well. Frozen, unable to talk or move, feeling trapped. One at least once occasion, I bit my hand just to keep me from drifting away completely. As an adult, I worked on it, but then I had some difficult health problems and hospital stays, which added another trauma layer. I am glad to have it confirmed that freezing is a disassociation and a trauma response. Sadly, my Medicaid covers only basic talk therapy (which just makes me anxious, talking about problems but getting no solutions) or med management (I do now take anti-depressants and they help somewhat.) Frankly, I think that trauma is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world, and every therapist should be trained to treat it. But this is not so, and the poor often do not have access to the specialized therapy need. I may or may not be on the autistic spectrum. I think I am, but one therapist thought that all my symptoms could be explained by trauma alone. She did a form of Somatic Experiencing which is the only form of therapy that I have ever found really helpful.
Kati please make a video about how natural disasters can be traumatic and how that relates to PTSD and EDs. Im from Puerto Rico which means little Internet. It also means i'm experience what Hurricane Maria left us. It was traumatic. Thanks
I was skeptical until right at the end of the video... I'll be in to follow more :) - I have found that approaches to physical recovery work basically the same as mental recovery (kind of a shame they don't go hand in hand - hence why everybody is so unhealthy)... so I think it is worth learning a physical skill if you are mentally traumatized... I've gone medieval myself (while incorporating modern thinking and understanding). I'm still out of it physically and mentally with only myself for any support - but there is a world of information out there.
Thank you for this collaboration! I'm in trauma therapy for "a bunch of Big T"s" piled on top of each other. My therapist does EMDR and somatic therapy. Anyways I'm looking forward to the videos! ❤️
thank you for talking about Freeze!! I struggled after my assault w the fact that I froze. I was actually unable to move and I'm a tough feminist who likes to believe I can fight whatever is thrown at me but my body responded and said "just stop and wait for it to be over". I carried a lot of blame about that until my therapist told me freeze was the third evolutionary reaction to attack that we don't always talk about. Thank you thank you. That reality is so important to so many survivors.
I am so sorry that happened to you :( Thank you for sharing your experience with freeze.. this will help others feeling that same way. xoxo
Yes! I had a similar experience. I had never heard of the freeze response, despite having taken courses in psychology as well as biology. When my psychologist first said "fight, flight, or freeze" I thought she was making it up. I thought something was wrong with me and carried so much guilt for so long. It's so important to make people aware that the freeze response is real and not something to feel ashamed for having experienced. Thank you for talking about it in this video. Thank you for doing this series.
loliejane so sorry that happened to you too. It kind of adds to the confusion and terror when your body stops working. You aren't alone and it wasn't your fault
Thank you ❤️ Same to you. I really appreciate the support, and you sharing your experience. I'm so sorry you went through it, but I felt less alone after reading it.
Julia S Yes, I can relate, when I was assaulted by pushing me hard from behind in an adult classroom by a black guy, I froze instead of yelling and I didn't deal with it.
This is SO ME.. I have been STUCK, my Whole Life, in the Fight Mode, Hyper Vigilance and I am Exhausted!!!!
Please share the video on your social media (twitter, facebook reddit etc) By sharing you never know who you might be helping :) Thanks for watching! xoxo
true ma'am.We got along way togo with mental health stigma but spreading awareness & educating is always a good idea
Kati Morton Thank you for this video! It's really helpful..
Kati Morton Thank you 💟
So glad you liked it :) xoxo
You are very welcome :) xox
I'm so glad you made this video Because I'm starting trauma therapy for my ptsd
Jasius Sanchez me too
Yay! Perfect timing :) xoxo
I think when I went in for treatment Dr. Alexa was one of my trauma team therapist. The best therapy I've ever received. So thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am happy to hear that you are connected to Kati's channel. Best mental health info out there in you tube.
Dr. Alexa Altman hi I've only had one treatment ever work for me. But what I'm finding is real Trauma Therapy is different. My trauma happened 5years ago but I was wanting a brush up with a similar course. I have yet to find a similar program. My therapist seems to think she's educated with trauma but...... This just isn't the case. I believe.
:( I'm diagnosed with Sever Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, Bipolar2 and PTSD.
Dr. Alexa Altman I have extensive trauma, my issue is my body reacts. Like I talk to my therapist and then all of a sudden I feel the pain my body remembers the abuse.. I can’t shut it off feels so un normal..
I think there should be a video talking about the "freeze" and "fight or flight" responses with caracteristics of each and why some people get "up" or "down" and how steps to bring them to the resilience zone differ depending on the "up" or "down" zones.
Useful information. Thanks
This really help I aways couldn't get past the fact that I never said or did anything to stop my abuse but seeing the hole freeze thing is so helpful.
nerd3.0 agreed!
I am SO glad this was helpful :) It can be hard to figure out why we couldn't move.. glad this helped a bit. xoxo
Kati sounded so happy.. what an insightful conversation, quite literally called me out.. Had no idea i was traumatized until I watched this. Thank you so much for sharing
I’ve been terribly bullied in high school and I’ve had two suicide attempts after the event. I’ve had terrible anxiety but it’s getting better. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. The suicide attempts traumatized me just as much as the bullying did. But more traumatizing.
I'm sorry to hear you were bullied. I hope you are feeling better and still here.
This playlist with the both of you is some of the best content I've ever absorbed. It really helped to put names and concepts to things I think I already intuitively knew, but didn't know how to articulate, or put all the pieces together. Once you give these concepts names and rules it makes them easier to manipulate or repair different parts of your life. Thanks so much for sharing this!
This video came at the exact right time. After months, my therapist and I were never able to figure out why I am suffering so many chronic anxiety disorders and panic attacks and why so many of my schemas scale unusually high. I have symptoms that relate to trauma from child abuse and it was only today I was able to dig up repressed memories and come to terms with the fact that as a 5 to 7 year old, I suffered COCSA. I'm now beginning trauma therapy and I'm willing to be open about it as it personally helps me feel less shame around my experience and perhaps my ability to talk openly about what happened to me may encourage silent sufferers to disclose their trauma. Thank you for your amazing videos. You help so many people.
Thank you so much for sharing your story :) I am so glad you are working with a great therapist who can help you process through all that happened. xoxo
I know you posted this comment a year ago but just, I want to thank you for posting it. Thank you so much.
That tunnel thing she was talking about while explaining freeze is exactly what I get. I thought I was just weird and I had no idea what to call it. I'm glad I have a name for it now. Thank you both for this video.
I've been struggling with my ptsd/bpd as of late and don't have access to treatment right now, but your videos and YouNow streams have truly helped so much. Thank you so much for all you do, you're a constant reminder to keep fighting xox
Darling! I know it's hard for people with mental illness. Think positive thoughts. Exercise is one good therapy to relax ours nervous system. The nervous system branches out and has a direct relationship with every cell in the body. Exercise opens up the receptors within the neurons of the nervous system so that communication between the brain and the bodies cells is free flowing. Your body performs better. Meditate helps you stay focus and breath well.( is good to breath deep) Remember life's beautiful.
Hope you find peace and love in yourself =)
Awe I am so glad I can be a helpful resource!!! xoxo Glad you are part of the community and getting the extra support you need :) xoxo
Kati Morton wow I got a reply!! I love our beautiful community! I'm a kinion on a mission this year, let's do some good 💪🏻✊🏻🤞🏻
Ivan Knows Best thank you so much for this beautiful reply 🌸
i see my social worker (jan 3rd) today. this just explained soooooo much that I need to talk about tonight. the freeze sounds exactly what I feel like. thank you soooooooo much, you have zero idea how helpful this is!!!
Yay!! So glad it was helpful :) Isn't Alexa the best?!? xoxo
Watching Kati's videos is my way of getting back into my 'optimal zone', its like a way of coping in between therapy sessions for me.
Thank you so much for sharing these videos to the world. I have been suffering 24/7 depersonalization for 7 years. I also developed very specific phobias at the same time. After watching your stuff, I realized that there might actually be hope for me in getting out of this brain fog/high. I found someone and was diagnosed with PTSD about a week or so again. And I’m weirdly happy to know that I’m not dying or insane. I’m starting trauma therapy now and while I know it won’t be an instant fix, I feel hopeful that I just might be able to reconnect to my surroundings and feel awake again. Thank you.
EmuEmi it Will get better with help, life can become normal (again). Speaking from my own experience.
Good luck with the therapy, and don't Lose hope!
I'm so grateful this series exists. This was displayed so calmly it felt therapeutic to watch and listen. It made me cry happy thankful tears.
Awe :) So glad you liked it and it was helpful :) xoxo
It's 4am and I just randomly woke up and saw this notification! My body knew I needed this. Xox
Yay!! xoxo
Kati Morton xox
I think you two hit the nail on the head regarding my response to the trauma I endured from birth to well into adulthood. I have always frozen when traumatized, and I truly had nowhere to run and no way to fight. To this day, at 48 years old, I still respond the same way to triggers. As well, I seem to be resisting my therapist's gentle efforts to bring me into the "A Zone" because 1) it is entirely foreign and 2) I only trust myself to watch for danger (which is everywhere!!!). I hope that whenever I can get my service dog, these things will begin to change.
Thank you Kati! the four years of high school for me gave me a tone of trauma and 2 years later i'm still trying to find ways to cope with the worst 4 years of my life. To this day I feel like my life won't get better. but your videos are always helpful!
Ben Tallard I'm believing in a lighter brighter future for you!
Thank you SO MUCH! My trauma therapist explained this to me a few weeks in. But I've never seen it on a graph. So helpful. So glad you were able to do this. So excited for this series on trauma.
Yay! I am so glad you found the graph helpful!! I hope you liked the other videos too :) xoxo
I'm currently in college to become a social worker and am so glad I came across your videos. I have so much to learn to help others and even help myself. I believe I've had a lot of traumas as a child and even in my young teen years, and now that I'm on my own in college, I think I've found my safe place, but I don't feel completely normal. I think I will go to therapy to see if I can get it taken care of!
Closed Captions are important for many reasons. Whether you speak English or any other language, you can help! Click here to help our community: ua-cam.com/users/timedtext_video?v=z8oDU3dy7Xg&ref=share
I've spent most of my life in fight, flight, and freeze states due to growing up in a toxic environment as well as going through an abusive relationship. I've never known what it's like to feel safe. I've been in therapy on and off since I was 8 years old. Thankfully, my current therapist of 5 years is trauma informed and I think I'm on the right path toward learning to be more resilient. This video was SO helpful. Thank you Kati and Alexa for explaining trauma therapy in a way that makes sense.
I'm so, so glad I've found out about freeze and dissociation/derealisation. Fight or flight didn't fit my responses and I've always felt like my mental ill health didn't fit into any of the categories I was hearing about which was really upsetting in itself. I feel like there is hope!! Thank you so much for your videos x
I know this video is 5 years old but I never realized that as a child when I was faced with trauma I froze. I experience a lot of maladaptive daydreaming as an adult, and I had a really overactive imagination as a child which I didn't realize until now was a self-defense mechanism. Thank you for having this information available.
Wow you made dissociation so much more sense cuz I been stuck in freeze
this has given me so much hope. im actually amazed
Wow. This is the best description I've ever heard. You just explained my whole life in less 14 mins. I've been living in High Zone/Low Zone for as long as I can remember. I'm just now beginning treatment for PTSD. Thank you guys.
thank you for this video. this makes so much sense. i'm wheelchair bound and have dealt with a lot of trauma and dissociate quite often and i'm also hyper aware of my surroundings. always looking over my shoulder
Thank you Kati. I am finding the trauma videos very helpful. I don't understand my trauma and it is really shocking to hear about my emotions from a professional perspective. I think I need some support. I have decided to get some therapy. A heartfelt thank you again.
Definitely needed this video lately. I've dabbled in emdr and other trauma therapy briefly, and especially with how I've been doing mentally lately, have been thinking about trying again.
This was so interesting and easy to follow along. I can only imagine how many people you've sincerely helped through all the incredible content you have Kati. I'm partially envious of what you've created here and the incredible impact you are making on UA-cam -- reaching the darkest, most pained places in your viewers' hearts and bringing light, hope and healing. While I'm not a professional, I have a big heart to love and encourage people and see them attain breakthrough, and though I'm still in my humble beginnings here on UA-cam I have such a passion to bright light and life to others through my videos, helping them rethink themselves and life and realize how loved they are by God and how much purpose he had in creating them. I'm on the journey of overcoming in my life and want to herd every other hurting person with me into the light, freedom and joy that is found in the intimate, personal love of God.💖 grateful for you Kati for the beautiful impact you are making. 😊xo kaylyn
Thank you for such a sweet message Kaylyn. xoxo Made my day!! xoxo
Been unable to sleep and the insomnia is uppp there and I cant stop thinking how i am gonna die or something crazy from simply going to get coffee w someone not sociopathic
It took me 20 years to be able to use the word trauma. It was normal for me, not trauma. Not everyone knows how to heal, or can heal. Some people are broke... permanently...
This video series is wonderful! You two inspire me to continue taking those small steps into the resilience zone. Thank you for helping me to keep going with my inner work and to stay hopeful. I'm so thankful.
That was super helpful. I'm really looking forward to the rest of this series.
Yay! I am so glad :) xoxo
so pissed neither of my psychologists taught me this. honestly would have been so helpful with when i had my car accident. everything makes so much more sense. explains why i make ec basically my psychologist, because he was my safe place. thank you so much for making this video.
Thank you Kati and Dr Altman. I really liked your metaphor of "bumping".
This was so helpful and interesting. For the past 5 months or so in therapy I'm either like full body shaking or completely dissociated and not there at all, so we've literally started doing nothing other than trying to get me to stay in my window of tolerance while I'm there. It feels like wasting time but today my therapist was talking about how we are just trying to stabilise me enough to get used to staying present in the room before we get in to anything. and it feels really frustrating because it takes so long (for me at least) and makes me feel like I'm too weak but it was helpful to watch this and see its actually kind of normal especially if it's all you've known before. 😊 thank you.xoxo 😘
Oh and I love the graph! I've been shown it before but hearing about why it's scary to even try to go back in the tolerance window was so helpful 👏 my therapist is always saying how that's what we're trying to do and I'm like but it doesn't feel safe to do that, why would I want to?! It was helpful to hear that's normal and can change gradually too 😊
Thank you so much for sharing what you are working on right now :) I am glad that this was helpful and reminds you that you are making progress and are strong enough to do the work.. you just need to get used to what being in the resilient zone feels like. xoxo
I really enjoyed this clipboard and how you broke down the fight or flight experiences. I'm someone who suffers from dissociation and ptsd and anxiety. This episode was so helpful. It explains what I'm going through. Thanks so much. This was helpful
Thank you both for this explanation. The "range of resilience" sounds like it aligns with my "bandwidth zone" of healthy available energy for myself and other people. It's something similar to spoon theory which many of my friends use to describe their brainspace. In terms of stress regulation, that epic drawing really resonates with me. During my therapeutic journey, I'm trying to develop a smooth and communicative understanding for counselors and psychotherapists I'm working with. Love this video. I appreciate you so much!
I can so relate, I feel my resilience zone is very small at the moment and I know that already. And I remember a couple years back when I was with my abusive family I felt as if I was dying even though I was 22. I took naps during the day, couldn't sleep at night, couldn't keep my head up, stumbled while walking and couldn't think. I very much have felt the exhaustion from not coming back to a safe place, which I'm still trying to seek out and find now.
I like how u guys speak so calmly. Its helpful bc ppl with trauma need soothing therapists not cocky ppl hehe
I struggle with BPD and have been in therapy for 2 and a half years. I never knew I dissociated before. The freeze response has happened to me. I had asked my therapist and she didn't even think I had dissociated. I never described this freeze response because I already had a generally good understanding of dissociation. At times, the freezing response can be a helpful coping mechanism. When I'm riding in the car, obviously my brain knows I can't jump out, and therapy has helped me enough to stop ranting orcomplaoning much sooner if I start to, and upsets occur less often when regular problems arrise. I thank God for DBT. I just started EMDR this week. Exciting stuff.
Thank you for this video. It helped me understand why I used to be (and sometimes still am) in defense mode all the time. I was verbally and seldom physically agressive towards people that I saw as a threat to my well being. I used to carry so much anger against other people. I like to think I am better now. Thanks again.
This was so educational, better then sitting in a lecture for sure! Wish I watched this before my psych midterm lol
Alex's voice and words are very soothing. Helped me titrate.
Love this Kati! Life can get so much better when we work through trauma.
Agreed :) xoxo
The whole "freeze" aspect really spoke to me. I notice that I tend to do that a lot when I'm in situations I feel I have no way out of. I can't move and my mind basically says "if I just stay still maybe everything will stop" of course I'm normally never right.
But the way you guys talked about it made me feel a little less alone that I do it. I always thought it was stupid of me to respond that way and that no one else would do that
Thank you so much for this video, Kati. I have no realized that I was in a sort of freeze state that I had no idea how to get out of for a few weeks at the end of the year, and now I will talk to my therapist about how I can get myself back in the resilient zone instead of being at the top or bottom.
I appreciate that chronic illness was mentioned. I developed an autonomic neurological condition at 18 and had to move back in with my parents. But basically, over those years I kept trying to treat my parents as partners to help fight the situation--I had all sorts of disabilities, and I had to predict and prepare for situations, and usually with help from them. Only, often I didn't get that help, not on a mental level. So I'm bouncing between hypervigilance and desperately trying to zone out, and I never know when my parents are going to be helpful, interfere with something that works for me, or belittle my concerns. I was overwhelmed, and it built for those 10 years. I didn't know how to dial it back, and between finances, the stigma of mental health (often used as an excuse to invalidate less chronical physical illnesses), and basically at a point of being triggered by well-meaning people that offer advice that completely ignores the role of the illness (many depression coping guides bring up everyday activities that weren't an option for me at the time), so I was super pent up. My stress range was so narrow, and I always felt it narrowing more, even as my physical health improved some. Incidentally, when I took a chance to live somewhere else for a few months, it was amazing how quickly I became a different person, physically and mentally. I was completely within a new range. When I had to go back to my parents, it took a few months but my range went back down--mental and physical issues easily trigger. At least now, though, I know that I'm capable and what coping mindset to find when I go out of range. Unfortunately, when you've been out of school and work for so long and still have some medical disabilities that limit your career choices, it takes time to become financially independent and find a safe space to turn to. But I'm working on it. It's a massive war that batters me periodically and slows progress, but I'm clinging to the memory of how well I did and all I need to do is make enough money to leave.
This is a really good trauma response explanation wow.
I have DID (Dissociative identity disorder) and I didn't know I even had trauma till recently because of my diagnosis. the moment something gets triggering I just check out involuntarily. This might sound good to some people but actually when I switch back in I gotta deal with whatever mess was created during the time I wasn't around and sometimes that's very stressful, like suddenly I don't have a job anymore, well shit, or suddenly I have an animal I gotta take responsibility for and etc.
This helped me IMMENSELY
You're changing lives Kati
So grateful! 💚
I don't have a safe place
Elisaí Otero-Figueroa that sounds awful. praying that you find one❤ you are so valuable and so loved.
Elisaí Otero-Figueroa me neither
Elisaí Otero-Figueroa this comment breaks my heart. I hope you found one
Elisaí Otero-Figueroa same
You deserve a safe place. Praying you all find one soon and can start or continue your healing process. It can help you better identify or find your safe place ❤
Thank you! You put into words what I feel. I am hyper vigilant and it brings me a lot of problems later because I can't focus anymore.
such a blessing I found your channel you have no idea.Im seeing the help I need to get and its makeing it easier to go through with finding it
You and Alexa gave me the courage to talk my counselor about trauma
wow. this blew my mind... so how do i fix trauma if i cant get away from what caused it?
omg I need this so bad right now, ive just been through an extremely stressful month of non stop emotional abuse by my mom and exposure to my parents and their extremely toxic relationship. one day i just couldnt physically look or speak to my mom anymore, and i started just flinching at her sight. I have to put it into perspective and recover
This resonates so much!! Thanks you Kati for the beginning of this series! x
Of course!! So glad it's helpful :) xoxo
I've done a lot of therapy with somatic experiencing (SE) and it's AMAZING
this video made everything so much clearer, everything makes more sence now esp the freeze response and why it happens
Yay! I am so glad it was helpful :) xoxo
My fave video yet! I like this clinical psychologist a lot.
THANK YOU......you two.
Believe me.......thank you.
I'm at the beginning......but it's a start.
Kati and Alexa
The last three weeks have been amazing! I have been looking for relatable, accurate resources that align with the research from A.P.S.A.T.S. for the healing o myself and others. I loved this counsel so much that I decided to use it as a foundation for a topic study in a group I moderate for women who, like me, are recovering from Betrayal Trauma due to the addiction of our partners. The response was so positive and helpful that we decided to create Resiliency Boxes and keep a database of what we are putting in our boxes. I plan to do the same for kids. Thank you so much for creating these videos. You have no idea what good you have done in my world. 💕
I love this so much! Your videos are helpful! I am a LMSW and was assigned to watch therapy associated videos for my supervision assignment working toward my LCSW. Thank you much for posting such informative and easy to relate to videos
Kati, thanks for all your videos. Over the holidays while I was visiting family, my aunt started saying a bunch of very hurtful things to me. To summarize, she basically told me that everything is wrong with me, I don’t know how to do anything, I should not go to therapy or be on medication and other hurtful things. We were never discussing any of these things she just brought them up out of the blue. My family decided to leave and as we were trying to peacefully leave she told us to never come back and never to talk to her again. Mind you there was no fight-she was the only one yelling.
While I know the things she said are not true and that she was drunk, I still feel hurt and shocked because I didn’t know she thought any of those things about me. I am trying to just let it go and not be upset, but what she said keeps popping back into my head. How can I not be so hurt by this and move on?
Stella Foster Stella Foster praying your heart receives peace and resolution and that you are able to extend forgiveness to her and let go of the hurt her words caused you. You are so much more than her awful words, you are AMAZING and have such an incredible future ahead of you. ❤ xo, a fellow comment reader
Stella Foster I'm sorry that happened to you :( my brother in law said a few things this holiday as well and everyone kinda just laughed it off but I was hurt by it. After talking with my friend I'm not as angry about it but still not exactly moved on.
I am so sorry she said those terrible things to you.. and you are right, they are not true and she was drunk. In all honesty, it's okay to still feel hurt about this. I would give yourself some time to write about it, vent about it to a friend or other family member, until you feel you have talked it out completely. Then I would encourage you to write down 5 things each day that you like about yourself. Whether we believe what others say or not, we need to take time and build ourselves back up.. hearing negative things has a way of sneaking in, and we have to fight back with positive things. xoxo I hope this helps!
xostrawberry21 I am sorry a similar situation happened to you! Thank you for sharing what made you feel a little better!
Kati Morton thank you Kati!! I am going to try all of your suggestions! You are the best!
I live in a third world country. I cannot afford this type of therapy nor go to a qualified therapist. I have tryed every option available to me with no avail. I think I will have to live with this broken personality and learn to survive with myself.
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been really processing my trauma ever since I cut contact with my mother, and a lot of my symptoms and experiences make sense and so much of it seems to come from trauma and I could never figure out why and nobody took it seriously
This helps cause I have no idea where to go from here so this video really helped me think about some of the stuff and my options
this was pretty interesting. it helps paint a picture I can understand. I've spent my whole life going between the high zone and the low zone. I've always thought the low zone was regulation and now that I'm getting older and learning more I'm finding out I don't really know what regulation is or feels like and I'm lost but seeing something physical and not have it cluttered in my head really really helped me. thank you for this video!
Can you please do a video on ADHD please? thank you love u Kati! :)
Thank you for passing those links on :) you are the best!! xoxo
Dang! This video has made a lot of things make sense for me! Processing my emotional baggage is something that has always seemed so daunting to me, but this video has helped to put it into perspective! It doesn’t have to be as overwhelming as I thought!
Great collaboration. Very in depth and informative. Thank you Kati and Dr Altman! :)
Just read the full description. Can't wait for more videos of you two for the next few weeks!!!
Yay!! So glad you liked it :) xoxo
This was super helpful because I’m looking into trauma therapy to come to terms with my rape. I’m gonna do it. Thanks so much
omg i love this pairing... so chill... so discharging
This is SO Good! Thank you so much for offering us this!! I have been trying to hard to find a therapist that specializes in trauma like her and takes my insurance, it is a lot harder than you would think :( Been through so many who told me they didn't have enough specialization to treat my trauma.
Trauma therapy is so helpful for many different people and diagnoses! Thank you for sharing! :)
this was so helpful.....I never knew about the freeze zone. this makes so much sense to me. I have been this way for 20 years now. and I didn't know what it was.
I' be got PTSD and this was so helpful! Thanks a lot :) also Alexa Altman is talking in such a calming way ^_^
Alexa's so great and the information is really helpful/ eye opening. Thank you for making this video, Kati!
honestly one of the best videos!
Yay!! So glad you liked it!! xoxo
Very helpful video! In starting therapy next month (IPT and PDT) but I think I have been traumatized and getting an insight of what we will be working on feels good!
Wow. Super helpful. I didn't know the little t's could count as trauma and I tend to blame myself not being able to take on as much of life/ challenges as others.
Has anyone done studies on large families? B/c I notice the first 4 kids seem better able to cope, compared to the last 4 of 11 kids. My nervous system was hijacked. Thank YOU both for the helpful video.
Amazing video Kati, very helpful.
My new year got off to a rocky start but I'm still going to work for my goals no matter what.
Going back to school tomorrow, so glad.
MuzicLoverForever sounds like you're pretty resilient 😘 you're going to have a great year!
This is brilliant, so helpful to hear that what often feels like chaos is totally normal and okay. Thank you SO much. Can't wait for the rest of these videos. :-)
Love this a lot.. She has such a calming and interesting way of talking... I really really like it.. Could listen to it for hours.. Great video Kati. Looking forward to the ones to come :)
Excellent guest, I like her. Thanx for this and look forward to more of Alexa and appreciate the discussion well illustrated bravo
The part about freezing was super helpful. I know that I do this. I know that it springs from stuff that happened in childhood, where I could neither fight nor run away, where I was asked questions and every possible answer would be wrong. There has been plenty of stuff before and since, but that seemed to be a pivotal event, framing my experiences after that.
So what happened since is, if I get into a conflict with a partner or friend or something like that, I start to feel like there is no right answer, that anything I say will be wrong. I can't focus on the moment, and I just start to shut down. I know what is going on around me, but I can't talk, and I can't move. It is very frightening to not be able to talk because using words is pretty much the only thing I do well. Frozen, unable to talk or move, feeling trapped. One at least once occasion, I bit my hand just to keep me from drifting away completely. As an adult, I worked on it, but then I had some difficult health problems and hospital stays, which added another trauma layer. I am glad to have it confirmed that freezing is a disassociation and a trauma response. Sadly, my Medicaid covers only basic talk therapy (which just makes me anxious, talking about problems but getting no solutions) or med management (I do now take anti-depressants and they help somewhat.) Frankly, I think that trauma is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world, and every therapist should be trained to treat it. But this is not so, and the poor often do not have access to the specialized therapy need.
I may or may not be on the autistic spectrum. I think I am, but one therapist thought that all my symptoms could be explained by trauma alone. She did a form of Somatic Experiencing which is the only form of therapy that I have ever found really helpful.
I'm really grateful for this video, this is a very important topic for me right now, and the video helped me so much. Thank you!
Notification squad here.
thank you Kati!!
Yay!! xxo
This video is so helpful and interesting and I am experiencing all of this and im going to counselling next week so thank you
Thank you for these videos Kati. I enjoyed your and Alexa explaining trauma therapy ✨
Kati please make a video about how natural disasters can be traumatic and how that relates to PTSD and EDs. Im from Puerto Rico which means little Internet. It also means i'm experience what Hurricane Maria left us. It was traumatic. Thanks
Wow! Amazing video!! I learned really helpful information that I had never learned before. Definitely sharing this with my Facebook support group!
I was skeptical until right at the end of the video... I'll be in to follow more :) - I have found that approaches to physical recovery work basically the same as mental recovery (kind of a shame they don't go hand in hand - hence why everybody is so unhealthy)... so I think it is worth learning a physical skill if you are mentally traumatized... I've gone medieval myself (while incorporating modern thinking and understanding). I'm still out of it physically and mentally with only myself for any support - but there is a world of information out there.
Thank you. This was a great video! I learned a lot in the simple demonstration. Glad a found your channel.
Thank you for this collaboration! I'm in trauma therapy for "a bunch of Big T"s" piled on top of each other. My therapist does EMDR and somatic therapy. Anyways I'm looking forward to the videos! ❤️
You are great together!
Yay! I am so glad you think so :) xoxo