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Also some laptops (for those who work at home) appear to be listening to your conversations, so turn off your work laptop and use your personal laptop to have non-work related conversations or conversations about work. Or job hunting, And you should have a personal laptop!!! That's an absolute must!!!
actually you have a right to share your pay with other coworkers and even to ask them how much they get paid. I often ask about their stock performance with the company as well and make sure that they got paid fairly. A coworker once asked me if I got a bonus because he didnt get one, I said yes and then he filled a complaint with the manager about it and they settled on a price that was acceptable for him, this would never have happened if we didn't have a right to discuss pay with each other, as employers often cheat employees out of money.
We have a guy at work that approaches people from the back, and picks out all of the flaws that we are doing. I challenged him one time and he reported me to my supervisor as mentally unstable. Last, week He got in an argument with a female because he needed a part asap and she told him it will be ready when it's ready. He told her "don't ever talk down to me again you understand" She told me it reminds me of when she was assaulted by her father as a child. What are my responsibilities in terms of harassment in the work place? Is there any obligations if I witness a coworker being harassed or should I just keep quiet about it because I don't want to lose my job?
I have learned this the hard way many times... So at my current job I just keep it casual. I try not to say anything personal.. no matter how much I want to... Because it will come back on you
It seems to me there was a time when you could be confident that A co-worker would not rat you out and you would know if it was someone who wasn't trustworthy therefore you would shy away from telling them any details but then you have a close friend who you worked with or co-worker that would mostly if not always keep your secrets and their secrets from the company so as not to cause controversy or possibly a firing, it sounds to me like when my grandma was working in the 60s or other people were working in the earlier decades of the 20th century you could bring these things up and you wouldn't be punished for him because for the most part most people agreed with you even on controversial topics of the day, now everybody's been so brainwashed by communism and materialism and Marxism that everything is controversial just because the media and the establishment deems it so.
I swear I was just thinking this lmao. Not a dang thing! It will bite you when you try to move up and ect. NEVER discuss your relationship or marriage! People get jealous and it is not their business.
Yes. Hold all your feelings in 24 hours a day. Period!! Until you completely snap and take everybody with you. Get your brain chips installed people. Robots!!
Last time I did that I became an asshole obsessed with performance and deadlines. The boss liked that, but everyone else didn't, because the pressure was on them. So be careful not to let the psychopath out. Because you know, since nobody is your friend its much easier to "walk on corpses" to climb the ladder or get that bonus.
Truth. Share NOTHING personal ever. They are not your friends. Talk work, keep it factual. Walk away from gossip. Sometimes you get guilt by association. Trust no one. I learned the hard way.
I found you have to share personal stuff to build trust, but it should be positive, selective and in small doses. I’ve been guilty of over sharing in the past and it wasn’t a good look. One of my colleagues took me aside and told me I was embarrassing myself!
@@bin-ob no calming down. I just go in, be surface level pleasant do my job and go home. Now I work hybrid schedule. I am friendly but not personal with anyone. As these times through and after covid it changed dynamics in the workplace. I am not upset just learned my lesson from someone who I thought was a friend of 5 years betray me with some personal stuff I shared in confidence (dealing with aging parents stuff). Trust me, no one is your "friend". I become friends with people once I leave a workplace for good. I am just warning people because I thought it wouldn't happen to me. Sharing stuff to build trust to have someone use it against you in a really bad personal moment of your life is low.
Not sharing anything personal? Sorry, people like that are no fun to work with. Snobs, uptight, closed and distant. There is a way to open up and not be obnoxious about it.
I am so sick and tired of hearing this but I understand. My co workers have shared secrets with me that only my ex boyfriend knows about. I keep things hush hush and usually don't let secrets slip even if it's not a secret. But I love my co workers it's hard people can't trust them. I've even had two of them check up on me. It was me that was the toxic one at times all because I've been upset when they don't show up to work but I've done the same so really I can't be upset and it's none of my business. But yes my co workers and I have shared certain things together but I'm going to try not to pry I seem to pry a bit much which may make some people really uncomfortable.
Not always, but generally yes. Sometimes people just gossip about the situation...because they really don't have an outlet at work. Not allowing some gossip in the form of venting is how toxic workplaces shutdown dissent.
If you're referring to what's mentioned in the video, it's more about protecting yourself and your employment. Work is not the place to play though you can still enjoy going to work and being with your coworkers.
@@ThreePhase470 That's your opinion this person finds not being able to play at work depressing. It's extremely depressing most places are toxic gossipers and brown nosers and I'd rather see them flattened in the streets than sitting in the cube next to me.
I slip on politics yesterday, and I was like ''oh boy, I think its time to move on''. My employer is fine and been good to me but I had 0 news on certains promises, while I seem to avoid all the HR stuff people complains about (they all the gossipers, I am stuck with in the office lol)
I second this. I suggest not saying anything about personal life (business, spouse, family or anything...). I purchased a expensive home in rich area, had a close coworker and that was the only person I had shared it with. Had told him to not to share it with anyone but he actually did it and then my coworkers were like I might be earning a lot more than others.
Don't tell them because sometimes companies can then think you are disloyal. Of course, that is not necessarily the case, you can be loyal to both your main job and other ventures, but that being said, they may not see it that way. Keep it to yourself.
actually, I talk with coworkers all the time about outside work, everybody is always looking for another job and need help finding one from each other. We help out each other a lot.
I used to unleash to everyone I thought was my friend at work. On the last day of that job a work friend took me to lunch (offsite) and let me know that she agreed with everything that I had said, and was making her own escape plan. This really taught me a lesson - that she waited until she knew I was quitting, and said these things offsite, this all told me that she was far more careful than I had ever been. Even if she trusted me and agreed with what I was saying, she knew that she shouldn’t let loose at work. Smart. It really gave me good modeling for the future.
Yep. Some people figure it out. I bet that person had bad experiences that taught her you really can't talk to coworkers. My experience has been that being the quiet person at work always made me a target for problematic people. Unfortunately, I don't really have a solution for that though. There's just something about NOT spilling your guts to everyone at work that attracts people who want to know more about you. And I try to be the most boring human being at work because I don't need a lot of attention anyway. Usually the people who try to get to know me at work at the most difficult people I don't want to know. I do try to be friendly in a very vague way at work though. It still doesn't really work for me, but I go home knowing I did what I could. I've learned over the years that I just don't like working with people even though I think most of my coworkers are fine. I prefer to work from home more than anything else.
@WonderfulWorldofAwesomeness I want to work 100% remote. Right now, we go into the offices 1-2 days a week. It's hell being in person. I hate it, it's stressful, and it feels like I'm getting pulled in so many directions. I'm going on 19 years at the same healthcare company. 6 more years til retirement or maybe earlier.
That's what the corpos all say: "we're a family here!" until times get tough and they kick you to the curb without hesitation 🤣 you know, because that's how you treat family.
You're absolutely right. Im a Millenial and I see older generations don't even realise how hard it actually is today to find and most of all..keep a good job for like at least 5 years. 90% of companies are toxic. 90% of your co workers and bosses are usually toxic. People is more stressed, depressed and anxious now than 20, 30...50 years ago.
The job I just started, people stay 20-45 years and actually spend time supporting each other out of work. It's weird to see such a close, loving work environment
I've only just stepped up from a lifetime of frontline work into corporate work, holy hell is it crazy how fake people are and how much people talk behind others back. It's almost paralyzing , you can't be yourself.
Yup plumbing electric HVAC construction truck driving mechanic. You will rarely ever put up with this crap! And if you’re really good you can just put up your own shield and work at will.
Knew a guy who who worked at dealership with a new manager. New manager was a buffoon who's mere presence was often enough to slow and even stop any work from being accomplished. Buddy made a remark to the parts guy one day when manager was out for the day "I guess we're gonna get a lot more done today." About a week later word had gotten back to manager, who promptly fired buddy. Two lessons here. 1: your coworkers aren't your friends. 2: Never underestimate a bruised ego's willingness to hemorage funds.
I was working with a guy who would pretend he hated the job and tried to get gossip from people to go back to the boss . He would also tell people that he was quitting every other month 🎉But if you went on his Facebook every 10 post or so was him praising the Lord for his job😂😂😂
It’s good to develop connections and relationships with your co workers (especially for references and networking) but just learn what you can share and what needs to stay private as long as you’re both working for the same company at least.
I sought out a job at a particular company for (1) the pay; and (2) the intention to further build my ‘tool box’ of skills. A small company, they prided themselves on repeating, “We’re like family here.” Nope, not looking for that. I was friendly, helpful, I even covered for a coworker who was going through a scary financial setback (no, I didn’t lend money), turning a blind eye to to the fact that he was returning to the building later at night to sleep, use the company kitchen & washer/dryer (we were a research facility), shower rooms, etc. I didn’t go out drinking with the crew, as I had my own family, with children, to take care of. Very toxic management. I wrote my resignation letter, with a targeted date to pull the trigger, although I gradually began shortening the resignation time. I was waiting for the perfect timing, as we were sinking into the Great Recession. Management requested a 10% pay cut, followed by an additional 5% the next month. Layoffs were coming down the pike, so I put a ‘buzz’ in a co-worker’s ear (the one I knew would be let go first, and was absolutely clueless), telling him of the pending forecast of decreased revenue, and I would be okay with being chosen to go. I did this so that I would get several months of severance, all PTO paid out, and could apply for unemployment benefits. Yep….I was laid off within 3 weeks of the next quarter’s reported revenue. I was actually okay with this. The layoffs following mine were not generous at all, with people only receiving two weeks pay or their unpaid PTO - whichever was greater. Yeah, these ‘family’ past coworkers would call me, asking me for references or possible leads on jobs. It was a very, very tough time, and I witnessed many go into financial ruin.
Unless you’re a trained spy no one can be completely vague at work 24/7. We all know who is married, single, dating, kids, no kids, illness. Things happen but it’s all about keeping it appropriate. I’m actually around my co workers more than my husband (we don’t live together). My co workers know this and I take random days off whenever a random opportunity comes up to see him.
How To Survive In The Workplace: 1. Work from home if you can. 2. Talk to no one. 3. Just do your assignments that needs to be done and not one iota more. 4. Clock in and out precisely on time, don't stay at work one minute longer than you have to. 5. Turn off your phone and computer when not at work.
I have seen PPL want to work from office so that they can play politics. To be honest more work gets done from home and more meaningless blabbering with very less work when it's done from office 😂
It takes years to learn how extremely sensitive, ego-driven, and manipulative people can be at the average Fortune 500 office job, even in upper management.
Amazing, isn't it? It's shocking how people in offices can act. Two-faced, backstabbing, gossipy, no loyalty. And get this: Even if you just go to work and do your job and minimally engage with coworkers, you STILL are a target because then you're labeled unfriendly, off-putting, intimidating, or not a team player. I'm not kidding. I have been screwed over in the workplace so many times I have professional trust issues.
It's disturbing when you find out how thin-skinned upper management is in a corporation. Also, naive. Our upper management said they didn't understand why workers didn't come forward to express their concerns or problems about the company with them. Truly arrogant and out of touch.
In retrospect, it’s a big nasty game from the get go! There are some good people towards you, but in the end if the person with power doesn’t like you, they will use it for personal use
Coworkers are NOT your friends. Yeah, you may get along, and yeah you might even hang out time to time….but the moment shit hits the fan, they will think of their own paycheck first. All that bullshit about “we’re a family/we’re a team, we got your back” will go right out the window.
I worked a job in the government where people had very strong and different political beliefs. As an IT guy, I talked to almost everyone, and a good amount of them would just start spewing politics. I would just nod my head, say "yeah" to about everything, and not add anything meaningful. Seemed to work really well for me, no one ever got mad about it and people felt like they were heard, meanwhile I never had to actually declare my politics to anyone.
Hey, what job position did you have, and what was your career path into your position? I'm interested in System and Network administration, and would like some advice.
@@SirSilverTongue Im a TPM now, I got lucky with the gov job and knew some people who were able to help get me in. I'd highly suggest trying to get in at the help desk level and trying to move on from there, switching agencies or jobs if needed. If you work help desk, make as many friends as possible. You have the benefit of being able to talk to almost everyone in the org. Whether it is the director or a maintenance guy, provide the best customer service and be the friendliest you can. People move on and can recommend you for a better role elsewhere. Sorry if it's not the best organized advice but those are some of my thoughts on it. To summarize, get in at any level you can and try to move from there by making as many friends as possible.
Yes, but also be aware that coworkers or managers with ego issues will try to find out personal information to use against you if they dislike you. Some people literally make this like a side project of theirs just because they don't like you. People are so weird and you just have to keep an eye out for their weird behaviors, unfortunately.
@@ladytosha15 you can be accused of being a troublemaker, not being a team player or a good fit with the company. I know someone else who is outspoken and got into worse trouble for speaking their mind.
Great advice. I found that even when you're cracking jokes with a buddy at work, there's always that silent co-worker who listens in and takes offense.
True. One day my supervisor was joking with me and then she got hauled into a boardroom because someone at another cubicle heard her jokes and took offense on my behalf. I was not offended as we were both joking around but she still got into trouble. Nothing racist or inappropriate was ever spoken.
I know how true this is at most companies - but the fact that most workplaces are places of total isolation while being surrounded by people should be an indictment in the whole culture. I wonder how much better most peoples mental health would be if they didn’t feel like sharing any personal detail ever with the people they spend the most time with in life was potentially financial or career unaliving.
No wonder people hate the workplace, what kind of messed up world is that where we normalize having to waste most of our time in a room full of people we cant even trust to take an honest compliment or joke, wtf...
Yup. This perspective makes me feel life is a grey drear horror, best shuffled off as soon as possible. What's the point? Maybe this is a way straight men have to be at work; personally I would go elsewhere to work. Won't be in horrible unfriendly ugliness full time might as well not exist.
Hi Brian, I do follow these guidelines, however coworkers eventually avoid me and start calling me “Miss Perfect”. Sometimes being too careful makes people uncomfortable around you.
i do not think you really need to worry about that as far your job is concerned anyways, being called that seems harmless enough to me. me and a some co-workers called an other ms picky because she was a perfectionist , we still liked her even it was uncomfortable at times. people will get to know you in time even if you don't say much, who you are is not something you can hide for long when you see them everyday unless your a psycho or something hehe.
I learned this the hard way. had a coworker whom I thought we’ve developed some friendship. She stabbed me in the back by copying our top boss to our private conversations. Never trust anyone in your workplace. You’ll never know who’s secretly jealous of you or having some grudges on you.
When i started my first job I got the best advice from mother in law. She said never tell your co workers your personal business because they will use it against you. That was over 40 years ago and the best advice I EVER got about work. Never ever tell them anything. Be friendly but don't expose yourself. I've seen people be destroyed because they shared secrets😢
I don't even talk to my coworkers about my weekend... if they ask I just change the subject. They can't use the things I say against me if I never say anything to them.
I learned a lot of this the hard way because as a ten I was very lucky as I got a job at a little local mom and pop restaurant and they really were very honest friendly and well.... Like a family. They would literally come pick me up if my car broke down and one time they even bought one of my coworkers groceries during a natural disaster and we all got Christmas bonuses and had every bank holiday off! They were genuinely lovely people to work for. When I broke out of that though I was in for a terribly rude awakening. My next job was hell. I would go back to the first job but they really don't pay enough to make much of a living. Though I am thankful for that nice cushy entrance into the dark world of adulthood.
The hands down best piece of advice in this video was to avoid talking politics at work. So many people will just automatically have it out for you for simply disagreeing with them, and they will happily throw you under the bus every chance they get, just out of spite.
Yes! I usually just give very lame answers so that it gives humor and I evade the topic lol ...like "oh, I like this guy because ever since he became a politician I got Taco Bell lol" Orelse I just use my go to sentence "no vote should be disclosed to anyone and I respect both parties"
Don't ever tell your coworkers that you have a side business, especially if you work for a company that has a clause in the contract prohibiting you from earning income on the side. I'm a contractor working in the skilled trades, but I also used to work for a food and beverage manufacturer, and you could actually be terminated if they found out you worked another job or had a legitimate business, even if it was something that didn't directly compete with the company. They wanted us available 24/7, but they were too cheap to pay us a living wage.
@@karthik007 You can't be forced to promote your company on your *personal* social media. Tell them to hire a social media person for marketing if it is so crucial to the company. You do realize that not everything a company tells you is right or legal, yes??
There's an old saying- when you tell a person something worthy of gossip, assume that person will tell 10 people. Even though it's just an old saying and may not work out that way every time, it only takes THE ONE PERSON you didn't want hearing it, in order to come back and bite you in the ass.
My old job had one like this. When she told me a piece of terribly salacious gossip about our boss - I kept mental note ✍🏾 "Never tell this bish a damn thing" 😂 It got back to our boss but the girl still wasn't fired, even when she did other egregious stuff because unfortunately the gossip she passed around about the boss -was true. It was a career ender for the two people involved and would have resulted in a huge lawsuit. She was eventually promoted.
Unless you live with other people and have visitors. I find other people to be highly distracting if my interactions with them are not at all work-related.
I got let go after a month in a contract because I told my office mate I wouldn't be renewing my contract after 3 months. I was gone an hour later. The funny thing is that I got a new job in 2 weeks and that job has lasted over 17 years.
@@benzemamumba I think so. There was no proof, just strong coincidence. It also sucked that I was one day away from qualifying for COBRA, so I needed to find a job quickly for health insurance.
Good advice. Be very wary of confiding in co-workers because you think they are "friends." Even if they've been to your house 100 times, they are not your friends. Never will be, as long as you're working with them, because they will have the ability to seriously damage not just your job but your career at any time for any reason, real or imagined or conniving. The only time I would recommend doing that is when you want to see where the holes in your trust network are. Put out a harmless tidbit of real or fake info and see if it comes out into general gossip/behavior toward you or not, and from whom. Just tell that one person and see if anybody else winds up knowing about it. You'll soon find out some things you'll be glad you became aware of.
This happened to my Dad. He had work buddies - they went fishing and hunting together, worked on cars etc. He got burned in a fire at work and the coworkers were ordered to not have any contact with him (this was in the 80s). The only coworker to visit my dad in the Hospital was a religious guy.
My co workers think I don’t curse and I’m extremely religious because of how impersonal all my conversations are. I’m not just don’t feel the need to curse like a sailor in a hospital 😅
What if something happened like a tornado or we had another of those stupid lockdowns like we had in 2020 you would really have to band together with those people who might have gone along with the mandates four years ago but they won't now you need to know even if it's covert some of their affiliations so you can stand up for what's right even if the corporate tries to make you believe lies and forces you to wear a mask or take an experimental shot again, because let me tell you there are tons of people who received three and four years ago with all this government propaganda these crazy riots in the streets and the virus that has a 99.7 survival rating there are tons of people even more liberal or moderate people who are now saying they will never do another lockdown again because in retrospective they realize that it wasn't only wrong but it was dangerous and society has never really gone back to the way it was before because of all this propaganda that many people still believe. I mean for crying out loud I still see people wearing masks in their car by themselves and the last couple years that I've worked at Kroger before I got the job I have now who's the gentleman I've never actually seen the bottom of his face he's had two masks on for over a year and I try to be friendly with him and I always deep down I wanted to ask him what he's doing but I'm afraid he'll flip out but I kind of feel bad for the guy because it looks like he can't breathe he would wear two cloth masks heavy cloth masks out in the sun in a 80 or 100° weather and I just had to shake my head because it's sad that he's living in such deception and he still believes the lies he was taught a few years ago.
You could have your bestest friend at work, cry on each others' shoulders, be there for important life moments, etc., but all it takes is one falling-out, and that person becomes Your Worst Enemy and will throw you under the bus for anything and make it his life's mission to destroy you. It could be over a real or just perceived slight, some petty jealousy, misinterpreting an innocent comment, or an outsider favoring you over him (raise, promotion, etc.).
NEVER tell your coworkers your plans, side-hustles, or dreams. Don't tell them when you are looking for a job. Don't tell them when you are about to leave. Don't tell them when you have an interview. NOTHING.
Coworkers will fill in the gaps - even where there aren’t any. I had a boss many years ago. All he had to do was to come in, with his hair parted a little differently, I knew he was looking for another job and I was right. Also years ago, one day, I came in dressed differently. People started commenting, asking if I was going on a date, a job interview, where I was going for lunch. Even the president, who’d apparently had a hidden crush on me, had taken interest and was, standing in the lobby, when I was going out for lunch. To understand the context of this, he NEVER stood in the lobby, waiting for his cronies. Was always waiting in his car. Then, went behind a display case, so he wouldn’t look so obvious, whipped around me and held the door, so he could get a closer look. It was bizarre. What was I wearing? A black top, black pants, black flats. What was the reason I was actually wearing them? Because I was in a rush that morning and didn’t have time to iron anything. Where was I going that day? Wendy’s Drive Thru, like most other days. Lastly and hard to do on a daily basis, which I’m still learning everyday, though nearing retirement age is - don’t say anything much, to anyone. You have to strike a balance between being engaged and in a good mood and a bit unattainable and cautious. Why? Not only because, as is often said, they’re not your friends. But, people change. They morph. I work for someone who, a few years ago, complained about another coworker. Now, they’re much like that coworker. I have another coworker, who mentioned something to me and I wouldn’t agree or chime in, because I also knew who they were, when they were first hired and they we’re DEFINITELY not in my corner. They could go back to that again. Don’t tell people anything, who’ve been fired or retired. They may still maintain very close relationships with others and they have “0” to lose, by stirring the pot and making you lose your job. None of this is easy. It may not be entirely possible to keep your personal and business life separate because, if you need time off, like for medical or legal issues, that will have to be communicated to your boss.
I don’t think it’s possible or a skill the everyday person has to keep their personal lives separate. I know who’s married, dating, single, who has children, no children, family planning, and medical issues. It happens and it not necessarily a bad thing. When you’re around someone 10 hours a day your personal life will come up.
@@757Princess no, it’s not easy. For more and more people also, they live alone and that company IS their family - right where that company wants them. It’s also a situation where it’s hard to keep your personal life separate, when another coworker thinks you’re besties. In conversation, we all want something interesting to say. Often, that may be about our personal lives, since there might not be a SINGLE thing interesting going on at work. I know that, if I feel in love - I’d probably have to hide it from my boss. WHAT!? That’s right. Because she wouldn’t be happy, not being with the one she loves, yet I find someone. Could actually lose my job. Could be worse than buying a better car than your boss (which I did 😉).
Yeah, honestly people who are that bored with their own lives will start to put pieces together. Because they're bored. But you can do your part by being consistent too, even if things change in your personal life, try to be consistent at work so people don't have a reason to notice you. I've learned that the hard way too. Some people really are paying too much attention. I really don't pay THAT much attention to other people unless there's a specific reason too but over the years I start to notice who is paying wayyyy too much attention to me though by the details they tell me over time.
@@Liz-wz8dh yeah, if you’re intuitive enough, you’ll pickup on someone paying attention to you, unless they’re very good at hiding it. That boss was excellent at hiding it and I don’t know for how long. I’d worked for him, for many years, before things “changed”. Too bad he was my married boss🔥 Other coworkers, start paying attention, for a number of reasons. Anywhere from being afraid of you, to just not liking you, to seeing how they can dump their work on you or get you to train them, in what you do. For me, it’s a bite to navigate and I’d rather WFH everyday.
That may be true, but their guesses may not always be correct. In fact, more often than not, their conclusion is wrong. I've worked at places where people gossip all the time. The amount of stuff I heard about me. They were right 1.5/10 times, and even then, it wasn't the whole truth. All we can do is guess and come up with answers if we're really curious.
Your first mistake was caring, they dont care about you.... I am not my job. A check doesn't make a place special or worthwhile. I'm not paid to care. If anything I am paid to pretend to you I care and if you buy the act I should get a raise. I definitely dont honor exploitation either. Since every job that exists ever is dependent of paying you less than you bring it... Your second mistake was also then, caring. You can only be in trouble if you again... care. The abilty to.not give a damn is a super power. As with any job... i was looking for one when I found this one so..... whatever. Job titles dont show up on tombstones. Nobody cares big picture. And on that very deathbed last thing you're gonna say is you wish you worked more or harder etc. The irony is its.the furthest thing that matters in the end.
I work on a warehouse floor so this works well for me. Don't talk much, if any at all. Bring a water canteen so you only need to hit the break room once before your shift starts. Don't give out social media information.
Yes but @disarchitechted has a point. Cohesion/trust are good for the bottom line. Corporations that don’t see cohesion immediately perceive you as not being a team player and instantly jump to you being the problem. Just keep what you say about personal life and relationships to a minimum.
That's how I feel. I don't believe in being unpleasant at work, but you should be able to be honest in a kind way. The problem is most people don't know how to do this and will never learn it. So it becomes having to walk on eggshells to keep things from exploding over something minor.
I take it a step even further than this. I live a meager lifestyle in the hope that I will be permanently rid of my job, or any job, one day. I really don't talk to coworkers or say much of anything outside of my job function. Pretty much yet another reason to leave the toxic "career" stew
Something you should add to this list is when you’re ready to leave the company, tell NO ONE except your boss, and only tell them EXACTLY two weeks before your new offer’s written start date. A former coworker of mine, who worked at this company for almost four years, gave three weeks notice in an effort to be considerate and give the department more time with transition. HR told them “your last day will be in two weeks, sorry, see ya.” Not the end of the world, but that’s a week without a paycheck and benefits out of an effort to be nice. It was a warning sign to the entire company to give as little notice as possible.
Even if you give them two-weeks notice, they can still fire you immediately in most states. Take your vacation time before giving them notice because you might lose it if they are not required to pay it upon termination.
@@sexygeek8996 This is what happened to a friend, of a friend, of mine. She worked in insurance and gave two-weeks notice. But somehow they knew, or she told them, that she would working for another job, at another insurance. They fired her right there. According to my friend, it was because it is was for another insurance competitor. Now, in her current location, she does make more then the last job, but man it reminded me just because you put in two-weeks does not guarantee they will give that to you. If you hate the place and and lined up another opportunity, just leave. Don't bother with the two-weeks.
The less you share the better. I was reminded of this earlier this week. I shared some insights from one meeting and boom, that info got shared with the wrong person.
My advice: Your workplace is not your social club. Don't make friends, don't divulge family life or personal information not related to your job. Be seen as someone who is there to work, cordial, polte, respectful, and professional. Never loiter around printers, kitchen or water coolers. Always give a courteous response but short and sweet. Example "What did you do on the weekends?". "Oh nothing much", but with a smile, always smile, but give nothing away. Avoid being drawn into any lengthy conversations unless it is about work or it is a work meeting. Remember you are there to work, not make friends or enemies. There will always be someone making jokes. Don't react or laugh. They may ask "What's the matter Joe, didn't you get the joke?". "Sorry, I wasn't listening, I need to focus on this". Sounds austere, but that's the way it is, to survive. They may say "You are not a team player". Respond: "Sorry, but I am socially awkward and not good with conversations". I can tell you that from experience, you will earn lots of respect as being a dedicated worker and quiet achiever. That is the kind of accolades that you want. To my friends I always say, treat your workplace like you are on Survivor. Keep quiet if you found an immunity idol and make subtle alliances. Your workplace persona is what you want them to see, not the real you.
Learned this first hand. It was a harsh learning lesson. I was not as careful as I should have been and wound up in front of the office manager. Nothing I said was a fire able offense (everything was truthful) but it did give me a heads up regarding my co-worker and I was able to warn others.
I've seen many that, over the course of 40 years, that suggest that they, as co-workers, are your friends, and want you to correspond with them after they leave; many do that at the time that they are actively leaving the company. And if you correspond with them, the truth tends to be that MOST won't give you the time of day, even thru an email days, weeks or months later.
I always leave with "Hey my calendar is free. YOU let me know when we can hang out" and never hear back. The last 20 years for me I have trained my bosses who came in and quickly got promoted and they they pushed me out. I have written letter of recommendation, been the phone reference and mentioned to my "circle" of job openings at my place. When I got laid off, no one ever returned the favor. I train cause I am paid for it. But after that to each their own. Co-workers are just your competitors.
My old coworker and I bumped into one of our other coworker who was in HR going to lunch. She told us she was pregnant. My old coworker was a really nice guy and always tried to check on how people were doing. He asked her if she was 7 or 8 months into her pregnancy. The smile on her face disappeared, and she replied "two". I was dying inside and after we walked away, I told him he should never bring that kinda stuff up
@@charliedallachie3539 yeah. I thought she was getting pretty close to delivery based on belly size but I just knew to keep my mouth shut. I think a question of "when are you expecting?" might have been ok
My co worker and I would have friendly chats about our boss and how he wasn't great at his job. It was just two "work friend's" blowing off steam and making jokes. The coworker ended up formally going after our boss to the higher ups and trying to get him out of the position. I ended up having to meet with a vice president and an hr representative so they could"get a feel for how things were running". The coworker ended up telling them that I said things that I didn't say to pad his case against our boss. We ended up getting a new boss and the coworker has implied he may do the same thing again not 8 months later to this boss. Needless to say, I think I figured out who the problem is and how much I can trust him.
I've had that happen with a boss I actually liked. I felt so awful. But the boss really was a problem, even though he was a nice guy in general and I just wanted the problems in how they managed fixed, not for them to be gone. You have to be really careful in telling people how you really feel about your boss because they don't always take the comments as intended. I generally don't complain about other people to get rid of them either, it's always to get an actual problem fixed. But I've learned the hard way that the actual problems usually just get complicated so I started just quitting if the problems with the boss were bad enough. Every boss I've had has told me they have some bullshit 'open door policy' but it's just not true, in my experience. If the problems are bad enough, it's best just to leave.
Listen to your gut when it comes to sharing anything about yourself, especially with managers and HR! Assume they'll use it against you, not that it will help you have a closer, better relationship.
Not talking about salary helps the company more than the workers. It is supposed to be illegal to retaliate against employees talking about working conditions. Think about it, if you were being underpaid, wouldn't you want to know so you could ask for more money or look for another job?
Most managers know that retaliation is ONLY illegal if you get caught. So they spend their time focusing on how not to get caught. It works too. I've seen normally vocal managers suddenly start being real quiet, but listening in when employees discuss how they don't like being treated on the job.
How are you supposed to network and make connections if you don’t allow anybody (including key people) to get to know you? All I hear over and over again is “it’s not what you know but who you know”.
@@benzemamumba But you’re likely not gonna build any actual friendships nor any meaningful connections with just small talk at the water cooler and by constantly keeping a giant wall up. This is my point.
Simple. Get people talking about themselves, and don't share anything personal yourself. People love to talk about themselves, and will see you as friendly and interested. Ask leading questions, smile and nod. You will become known as a great conversationalist.
One more thing, never disclose to your co-workers that you own a property . They turn against you if they're still renting or struggling to pay off their loans. They get super jealous. I have experienced this in my work place.
Right. I told someone I had paid off my mortgage early (and no debts at all) and the next thing you know, all the haters came out of the woodwork. Including the manager, because he was a personal finance disaster.
You forgot to mention how you can use leaky co-workers to your advantage by telling them things you want management to know without actually telling them yourself.
I've done this , we have a Samoan 2nd incharge , she can transfer information way quicker than any official form , our company endorses bullying, ½ of the management has a complete disregard for the company policy. 17+ years of mobbing to me .
@@Hazeleyonidas Not if you do it right. For example, you ask someone if they have heard about such and such thing. No names -- but I guarantee it will spread within a week or two.
Also, don't tell your coworker you have a second job or side hustle. Employers don't like hearing you have another job because they might interpret it as you not being 100% committed to your job, and you won't be available for work (travel, overtime, promotion), or that you can possibly have a conflict of interest with your other employer.
You give advice like it's 2015. This is post covid, everybody needs to be looking for a second job at all times! Screw them in what they think! I'm so sick of tiptoeing because of what your current employer thinks of you! They already don't pay enough anyways
Doesn't matter what your employer thinks of you anyway, for better, or for worse - you're only in any job to earn money to do the things you really want to do. Work is just a means to an end, nothing more !
100% agreed with everything you mentioned. I know well and learnt it the hard way that coworkers not friends. My question is - what to do if people in the office start breaking your boundries and getting personal? How do you approach it professionally and let them know - i don't want any of that?
My coworkers are my team and my family. Not everyone is a backstabber. You learn who is and who isn't. My team isn't perfect, but they have been there for me when I needed them. They have gotten me through some of the hardest times of my life.
I had an interview with a company that had connections with my workplace. They said that they know my boss and asked if it is ok to ask him for feedback. I denied their request but a few months later I had a signifficant salary increase on my performance review. I believe the news reached my company and it worked in my favor
Never confide in a coworker until you've already signed that superior offer and already tendered your resignation. Be amicable and friendly but not bona fide friends.
Guys you can't believe how fast gossip travels inside a workplace. This is especially true if it is a big facility with several hundred employees inside the facility. I'm know a guy who told a story from several years before about some drunk nonsense that happened at the holiday party and how three people got fired. Within, three days everyone knew the story. Crazy!!
I live in an at-will state. I don't worry about what management thinks because they will find ways to get rid of you if they want to for just about any reason. Best thing to do is keep your skills on point, resume polished and your head on a swivel for a new opportunity.
I'll never forget sitting in a meeting room where a coworker asked a female colleague he hadn't seen in a while how far along she was. The look on her face, and he said it in a room full of people. Spoiler, she wasn't pregnant. People can also be so toxic and spiteful. I've had coworkers publicly accuse me of cheating/fraud at work because I was outperforming them. I've been bullied by coworkers over not being able to afford the same things as them. At my last job, I learned to never say anything in meetings unless I am presenting information or I am asked a direct question. Otherwise I keep my mouth shut because I've been pulled into "DEI" discussions over the most innocuous things like asking if the rest of the team got a weird email.
I always cringe inside when I watch videos about being careful what you say to colleagues. Memories of my early career when I over shared come flooding back. 😅. Did some career coaching, the coach was saying you are building your brand all the time, consciously or unconsciously. I took that onboard and started to become one of those ‘fake’ corporate people I so bemoaned at the start of my career. My progression affects things that are important in my life like being able to provide for my family, and what people think of you can make a massive difference to being recommended or promoted… so with a bit of maturity and hindsight I can see why people are ‘fake’ now! I’m there to do a job, that aspect takes precedence, limiting the personal side to the sort of things I wouldn’t mind being printed on the front page of a newspaper. There should be enough ‘reveal’ to build trust, but at the same time, I’m not there to make friends.
Yes I was in one office where if you don’t participate in gossip the whole office ostracised you. I learnt to reveal some non essential stuff of myself like hobbies etc…
I told one of my coworkers I was looking for another job. He was as well and we were using each other as resources and motivation. He ended up announcing it to the whole department. Granted he also announced his own job search, but I wasn't ready for that information to come out yet. Luckily because of my particular situation it didn't matter, but definitely keep things like that under wraps.
@@se2664 : Yeah, it's literally just because people spend so much time around each other at work. I've had that happen before. I just was AT work all the time so it's natural to start to like SOME of the people you work with, even if in general you're a private person. But still, coworkers really shouldn't be looked at in any other way but coworkers. You really can't know someone you work with in that context and a lot of people have issues.
I don't know, maybe I'm hybrid and don't meet every day with my coworkers, but we chat a lot in slack, there are meme channels, music channels etc. Everybody is chill and I dont feel this power struggle, game of thrones like attitude in the company. The structure is kinda horizontal despite that 120-140 people works there, everybody is helpful, talkative, also professional. The managers are also empathetic, if somebody has a blocker they try to help to solve it, or the other co-workers help who are able to. We have a lot of brainstorming, discussing ideas, and if it's good we implement it. Deadlines are correct as well, there is time for testing.
You can in fact find colleagues you can trust at your job but the risk will always be there regardless. If one does choose to trust a colleague to discuss matters with, remember Trust but ALWAYS verify. This was a method I use to this day and weed out who I can’t trust and who I can “trust”. Tell different things to each person and see what comes back/sticks.
Wow, really great advice! I also appreciate it that it's coming from someone with the HR perspective and has seen or experienced enough examples to identify these patterns. ❤
This guy was in training. He would tell me he wasn't going to do what I told him to do, 7 times. I told a manager, keep coaching him, wow I'm thinking!!
I talk about my dogs a lot so that people think Im being personable and friendly but I am actually sharing nothing personal at all. I really prefer remote work so that I have to interact as little as possible.
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Also some laptops (for those who work at home) appear to be listening to your conversations, so turn off your work laptop and use your personal laptop to have non-work related conversations or conversations about work. Or job hunting, And you should have a personal laptop!!! That's an absolute must!!!
actually you have a right to share your pay with other coworkers and even to ask them how much they get paid. I often ask about their stock performance with the company as well and make sure that they got paid fairly. A coworker once asked me if I got a bonus because he didnt get one, I said yes and then he filled a complaint with the manager about it and they settled on a price that was acceptable for him, this would never have happened if we didn't have a right to discuss pay with each other, as employers often cheat employees out of money.
We have a guy at work that approaches people from the back, and picks out all of the flaws that we are doing. I challenged him one time and he reported me to my supervisor as mentally unstable. Last, week He got in an argument with a female because he needed a part asap and she told him it will be ready when it's ready. He told her "don't ever talk down to me again you understand" She told me it reminds me of when she was assaulted by her father as a child. What are my responsibilities in terms of harassment in the work place? Is there any obligations if I witness a coworker being harassed or should I just keep quiet about it because I don't want to lose my job?
❤😂🎉
Do not think for a second that just because your coworkers are friendly that it makes them your friend.
Your statement cannot be repeated enough!
Until they actually are your friend.
I have learned this the hard way many times... So at my current job I just keep it casual. I try not to say anything personal.. no matter how much I want to... Because it will come back on you
I thought I had a friend, but they ratted me out to management, and got me written up, some friend right?
It seems to me there was a time when you could be confident that A co-worker would not rat you out and you would know if it was someone who wasn't trustworthy therefore you would shy away from telling them any details but then you have a close friend who you worked with or co-worker that would mostly if not always keep your secrets and their secrets from the company so as not to cause controversy or possibly a firing, it sounds to me like when my grandma was working in the 60s or other people were working in the earlier decades of the 20th century you could bring these things up and you wouldn't be punished for him because for the most part most people agreed with you even on controversial topics of the day, now everybody's been so brainwashed by communism and materialism and Marxism that everything is controversial just because the media and the establishment deems it so.
Basically: don’t say anything at work.
Please and thank you
That's the way I've been rolling
@@xavier3098 Silence is golden
I swear I was just thinking this lmao. Not a dang thing! It will bite you when you try to move up and ect. NEVER discuss your relationship or marriage! People get jealous and it is not their business.
Exactly
As the saying goes...you go to work to make money, not friends
Never ever think your coworkers are your friends
Be friends with them after you leave the organization.
I learned it the hard way ☹️
@@eerieolie7204 Me too buddy.
Me too
They are all frenemies until you leave
Always stay calm, cool, and collected. Don’t get emotional… Don’t take things personally… And, don’t consider anyone at work your friend.
Exactly
Yes. Hold all your feelings in 24 hours a day. Period!!
Until you completely snap and take everybody with you.
Get your brain chips installed people.
Robots!!
@@albertastro3761 sage advice 😔
Better get out of that job
Last time I did that I became an asshole obsessed with performance and deadlines. The boss liked that, but everyone else didn't, because the pressure was on them. So be careful not to let the psychopath out. Because you know, since nobody is your friend its much easier to "walk on corpses" to climb the ladder or get that bonus.
Be friendly, not friends
Be the boss
Truth. Share NOTHING personal ever. They are not your friends. Talk work, keep it factual. Walk away from gossip. Sometimes you get guilt by association. Trust no one. I learned the hard way.
I found you have to share personal stuff to build trust, but it should be positive, selective and in small doses.
I’ve been guilty of over sharing in the past and it wasn’t a good look. One of my colleagues took me aside and told me I was embarrassing myself!
@@bin-ob no calming down. I just go in, be surface level pleasant do my job and go home. Now I work hybrid schedule. I am friendly but not personal with anyone. As these times through and after covid it changed dynamics in the workplace. I am not upset just learned my lesson from someone who I thought was a friend of 5 years betray me with some personal stuff I shared in confidence (dealing with aging parents stuff). Trust me, no one is your "friend". I become friends with people once I leave a workplace for good. I am just warning people because I thought it wouldn't happen to me. Sharing stuff to build trust to have someone use it against you in a really bad personal moment of your life is low.
You can't believe how fast gossip travels in the workplace. Sometimes I wonder if it is worse than high school.
Not sharing anything personal? Sorry, people like that are no fun to work with. Snobs, uptight, closed and distant. There is a way to open up and not be obnoxious about it.
I am so sick and tired of hearing this but I understand. My co workers have shared secrets with me that only my ex boyfriend knows about. I keep things hush hush and usually don't let secrets slip even if it's not a secret. But I love my co workers it's hard people can't trust them. I've even had two of them check up on me. It was me that was the toxic one at times all because I've been upset when they don't show up to work but I've done the same so really I can't be upset and it's none of my business. But yes my co workers and I have shared certain things together but I'm going to try not to pry I seem to pry a bit much which may make some people really uncomfortable.
Reminder: someone who gossips _to_ you will gossip _about_ you.
Bingo 🎯 🎯 🎯
Always
Not always, but generally yes. Sometimes people just gossip about the situation...because they really don't have an outlet at work. Not allowing some gossip in the form of venting is how toxic workplaces shutdown dissent.
Not always true
If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you
I find it depressing how workers are being turned into soulless robots.
We all do, but it's the reality of working with other people.
I agree.. sometimes our co workers can be like family.
If you're referring to what's mentioned in the video, it's more about protecting yourself and your employment. Work is not the place to play though you can still enjoy going to work and being with your coworkers.
Literally me.
@@ThreePhase470 That's your opinion this person finds not being able to play at work depressing. It's extremely depressing most places are toxic gossipers and brown nosers and I'd rather see them flattened in the streets than sitting in the cube next to me.
Treat your co workers like cops during a traffic stop.
I bet your a laugh in the office
@@chrisclarke8451 I'm wfh I'll never go back to a hell hole office again.
Yes, hide your beer.
So, flip them off as you leave ?
Yeah, like a Sovereign Citizen.
Kathy: =) How was your weekend?
You: "I don't answer questions."
Topics to always avoid in work
1. Religion
2. Politics
3. General Gossip (especially if your new)
*you're* not your
Especially #3, Yeah I’ve made that mistake unfortunately.
I would add sports. You never know when you bump into a fan of the rival football team.
I slip on politics yesterday, and I was like ''oh boy, I think its time to move on''. My employer is fine and been good to me but I had 0 news on certains promises, while I seem to avoid all the HR stuff people complains about (they all the gossipers, I am stuck with in the office lol)
Must not be blue collar as politics is tge biggest topic talkedcabout in the field
and dont tell your co workers you have a side business
That's a good one too!
Or a VA or any other pension because it breeds jealousy, especially in times like this...
I second this. I suggest not saying anything about personal life (business, spouse, family or anything...). I purchased a expensive home in rich area, had a close coworker and that was the only person I had shared it with. Had told him to not to share it with anyone but he actually did it and then my coworkers were like I might be earning a lot more than others.
rental properties got me in trouble !!!!
Don't tell them because sometimes companies can then think you are disloyal. Of course, that is not necessarily the case, you can be loyal to both your main job and other ventures, but that being said, they may not see it that way. Keep it to yourself.
Dishonorable when employee looks for another job, honorable when company looks for new employee. Hypocrisy at its finest.
actually, I talk with coworkers all the time about outside work, everybody is always looking for another job and need help finding one from each other. We help out each other a lot.
Bosses wreak with the stench of hypocrisy
Correct.
Capitalism at its finest. Division between the workers benefits only the employer.
Nailed it
I used to unleash to everyone I thought was my friend at work. On the last day of that job a work friend took me to lunch (offsite) and let me know that she agreed with everything that I had said, and was making her own escape plan. This really taught me a lesson - that she waited until she knew I was quitting, and said these things offsite, this all told me that she was far more careful than I had ever been. Even if she trusted me and agreed with what I was saying, she knew that she shouldn’t let loose at work. Smart. It really gave me good modeling for the future.
Yep. Some people figure it out. I bet that person had bad experiences that taught her you really can't talk to coworkers.
My experience has been that being the quiet person at work always made me a target for problematic people. Unfortunately, I don't really have a solution for that though. There's just something about NOT spilling your guts to everyone at work that attracts people who want to know more about you. And I try to be the most boring human being at work because I don't need a lot of attention anyway. Usually the people who try to get to know me at work at the most difficult people I don't want to know. I do try to be friendly in a very vague way at work though. It still doesn't really work for me, but I go home knowing I did what I could. I've learned over the years that I just don't like working with people even though I think most of my coworkers are fine. I prefer to work from home more than anything else.
@WonderfulWorldofAwesomeness I want to work 100% remote. Right now, we go into the offices 1-2 days a week. It's hell being in person. I hate it, it's stressful, and it feels like I'm getting pulled in so many directions. I'm going on 19 years at the same healthcare company. 6 more years til retirement or maybe earlier.
@@Liz-wz8dh Anything you say WILL be used against you
Your coworkers just like your boss and your employer are not your family.
This is correct.
That's what the corpos all say: "we're a family here!" until times get tough and they kick you to the curb without hesitation 🤣 you know, because that's how you treat family.
@pvanukoff I have some challenging extended family. I make a point to not say " We are family!" At work because some families are not healthy
Yeah but your family sucks too so really why am I here?
@pvanukoff its like mob family. You are cared for until you are valuable.
Boy, working for a living has always been a challenge, now it is a freaking minefield.
You're absolutely right. Im a Millenial and I see older generations don't even realise how hard it actually is today to find and most of all..keep a good job for like at least 5 years. 90% of companies are toxic. 90% of your co workers and bosses are usually toxic. People is more stressed, depressed and anxious now than 20, 30...50 years ago.
@@damianxxx3118 it's better to have your own buisness
@@damianxxx3118 Managers all bully you in my experience and it's always the nastiest people who get promoted. I don't want another job now.
It’s true, I actually seek out any job where I can work alone or avoid people as much as possible.
@@damianxxx3118 🙏🏾
Your boss is not your therapist
That's what I told my boss
The job I just started, people stay 20-45 years and actually spend time supporting each other out of work. It's weird to see such a close, loving work environment
I see that you posted this 5 months ago.. As of now, would you still say the "loving vibe" is the same?
That's certainly NOT a corporate job.
Yeah, but this is only at work where they've been used to eachother.
Treat coworkers like they are cops out to get you arrested....got it!
@@Nexesys SO true
This is just one reason I never want to return to corporate life. You can’t trust anyone, the fake personalities. I’m all about being real.
I can relate to that. I can't stand fake people, and all of the two-facedness, and fakeness at work almost makes me nauseous...
Really makes you jaded about people. Glad I'm working on my ultimate escape plan.
I've only just stepped up from a lifetime of frontline work into corporate work, holy hell is it crazy how fake people are and how much people talk behind others back. It's almost paralyzing , you can't be yourself.
@@Grant82gc What type of work do you do?
Yup plumbing electric HVAC construction truck driving mechanic. You will rarely ever put up with this crap! And if you’re really good you can just put up your own shield and work at will.
Knew a guy who who worked at dealership with a new manager. New manager was a buffoon who's mere presence was often enough to slow and even stop any work from being accomplished. Buddy made a remark to the parts guy one day when manager was out for the day "I guess we're gonna get a lot more done today." About a week later word had gotten back to manager, who promptly fired buddy. Two lessons here. 1: your coworkers aren't your friends. 2: Never underestimate a bruised ego's willingness to hemorage funds.
I was working with a guy who would pretend he hated the job and tried to get gossip from people to go back to the boss . He would also tell people that he was quitting every other month 🎉But if you went on his Facebook every 10 post or so was him praising the Lord for his job😂😂😂
@@JacobsNewsthat rodent was devious and cunning.
Those are two very great lessons! I need to practice keeping my mouth shut.😊
Word to wise never be friends with your coworkers or say too much. Be vague and keep work at work and thats all.
Vague is key.
It’s good to develop connections and relationships with your co workers (especially for references and networking) but just learn what you can share and what needs to stay private as long as you’re both working for the same company at least.
I sought out a job at a particular company for (1) the pay; and (2) the intention to further build my ‘tool box’ of skills. A small company, they prided themselves on repeating, “We’re like family here.” Nope, not looking for that. I was friendly, helpful, I even covered for a coworker who was going through a scary financial setback (no, I didn’t lend money), turning a blind eye to to the fact that he was returning to the building later at night to sleep, use the company kitchen & washer/dryer (we were a research facility), shower rooms, etc. I didn’t go out drinking with the crew, as I had my own family, with children, to take care of. Very toxic management. I wrote my resignation letter, with a targeted date to pull the trigger, although I gradually began shortening the resignation time. I was waiting for the perfect timing, as we were sinking into the Great Recession. Management requested a 10% pay cut, followed by an additional 5% the next month. Layoffs were coming down the pike, so I put a ‘buzz’ in a co-worker’s ear (the one I knew would be let go first, and was absolutely clueless), telling him of the pending forecast of decreased revenue, and I would be okay with being chosen to go. I did this so that I would get several months of severance, all PTO paid out, and could apply for unemployment benefits. Yep….I was laid off within 3 weeks of the next quarter’s reported revenue. I was actually okay with this. The layoffs following mine were not generous at all, with people only receiving two weeks pay or their unpaid PTO - whichever was greater. Yeah, these ‘family’ past coworkers would call me, asking me for references or possible leads on jobs. It was a very, very tough time, and I witnessed many go into financial ruin.
Unless you’re a trained spy no one can be completely vague at work 24/7. We all know who is married, single, dating, kids, no kids, illness. Things happen but it’s all about keeping it appropriate. I’m actually around my co workers more than my husband (we don’t live together). My co workers know this and I take random days off whenever a random opportunity comes up to see him.
And be willing to quit. Companies don't deserve loyalty these days.
How To Survive In The Workplace:
1. Work from home if you can.
2. Talk to no one.
3. Just do your assignments that needs to be done and not one iota more.
4. Clock in and out precisely on time, don't stay at work one minute longer than you have to.
5. Turn off your phone and computer when not at work.
Some of that can backfire. Isolating yourself too much can make a person looks like they are not a "team player."
I have seen PPL want to work from office so that they can play politics. To be honest more work gets done from home and more meaningless blabbering with very less work when it's done from office 😂
You don't have to turn off your phone, that's ridiculous.
@@thegrandmasabrina THIS ☝️ Self ostracizing yourself isn’t going to help your career.
@@thegrandmasabrina okay?
It takes years to learn how extremely sensitive, ego-driven, and manipulative people can be at the average Fortune 500 office job, even in upper management.
Amazing, isn't it? It's shocking how people in offices can act. Two-faced, backstabbing, gossipy, no loyalty. And get this: Even if you just go to work and do your job and minimally engage with coworkers, you STILL are a target because then you're labeled unfriendly, off-putting, intimidating, or not a team player. I'm not kidding. I have been screwed over in the workplace so many times I have professional trust issues.
It's disturbing when you find out how thin-skinned upper management is in a corporation. Also, naive. Our upper management said they didn't understand why workers didn't come forward to express their concerns or problems about the company with them. Truly arrogant and out of touch.
Just at fortune 500?
In retrospect, it’s a big nasty game from the get go! There are some good people towards you, but in the end if the person with power doesn’t like you, they will use it for personal use
You mean especially in the upper management.
Bottom line: don't overshare your life story at work.
Coworkers are NOT your friends. Yeah, you may get along, and yeah you might even hang out time to time….but the moment shit hits the fan, they will think of their own paycheck first.
All that bullshit about “we’re a family/we’re a team, we got your back” will go right out the window.
Most families are broken. They don't even know what a family is supposed to be. 😂
And they will forget everything you ever did for them the first time you annoy them. Just keep them at a distance.
I treat coworkers like they're wearing a wire- I say nothing to no one about anything. Some see it as being a social but I sleep well at night.
Rock on
They are at work with a wire. It's called a cell phone 😉!
I worked a job in the government where people had very strong and different political beliefs. As an IT guy, I talked to almost everyone, and a good amount of them would just start spewing politics. I would just nod my head, say "yeah" to about everything, and not add anything meaningful. Seemed to work really well for me, no one ever got mad about it and people felt like they were heard, meanwhile I never had to actually declare my politics to anyone.
Very smart advice
I love it, Just like the janitor of building who gets along with everyone!!!
Hey, what job position did you have, and what was your career path into your position? I'm interested in System and Network administration, and would like some advice.
@@SirSilverTongue Im a TPM now, I got lucky with the gov job and knew some people who were able to help get me in. I'd highly suggest trying to get in at the help desk level and trying to move on from there, switching agencies or jobs if needed. If you work help desk, make as many friends as possible. You have the benefit of being able to talk to almost everyone in the org. Whether it is the director or a maintenance guy, provide the best customer service and be the friendliest you can. People move on and can recommend you for a better role elsewhere.
Sorry if it's not the best organized advice but those are some of my thoughts on it. To summarize, get in at any level you can and try to move from there by making as many friends as possible.
Don’t disclose personal things to co workers, separate personal and professional life
Yes, but also be aware that coworkers or managers with ego issues will try to find out personal information to use against you if they dislike you. Some people literally make this like a side project of theirs just because they don't like you. People are so weird and you just have to keep an eye out for their weird behaviors, unfortunately.
Having an opinion is dangerous in in the workplace. Learned that a long time ago, and haven't forgotten it. A good day all.
Can u tell me why?
@@ladytosha15 you can be accused of being a troublemaker, not being a team player or a good fit with the company. I know someone else who is outspoken and got into worse trouble for speaking their mind.
Great advice. I found that even when you're cracking jokes with a buddy at work, there's always that silent co-worker who listens in and takes offense.
I’m offended you’re not offended about the topic of being offended
I have done that but it's because it was sexual and toward me it kind of creeped me out to be honest.
@@mariahconklin4150Press x to doubt
Then they use that example in their harassment employee training videos
True. One day my supervisor was joking with me and then she got hauled into a boardroom because someone at another cubicle heard her jokes and took offense on my behalf. I was not offended as we were both joking around but she still got into trouble. Nothing racist or inappropriate was ever spoken.
I know how true this is at most companies - but the fact that most workplaces are places of total isolation while being surrounded by people should be an indictment in the whole culture. I wonder how much better most peoples mental health would be if they didn’t feel like sharing any personal detail ever with the people they spend the most time with in life was potentially financial or career unaliving.
And that's exactly why I prefer to work from home.
No wonder people hate the workplace, what kind of messed up world is that where we normalize having to waste most of our time in a room full of people we cant even trust to take an honest compliment or joke, wtf...
Yup. This perspective makes me feel life is a grey drear horror, best shuffled off as soon as possible. What's the point? Maybe this is a way straight men have to be at work; personally I would go elsewhere to work. Won't be in horrible unfriendly ugliness full time might as well not exist.
Hi Brian, I do follow these guidelines, however coworkers eventually avoid me and start calling me “Miss Perfect”. Sometimes being too careful makes people uncomfortable around you.
i do not think you really need to worry about that as far your job is concerned anyways, being called that seems harmless enough to me. me and a some co-workers called an other ms picky because she was a perfectionist , we still liked her even it was uncomfortable at times. people will get to know you in time even if you don't say much, who you are is not something you can hide for long when you see them everyday unless your a psycho or something hehe.
I learned this the hard way. had a coworker whom I thought we’ve developed some friendship. She stabbed me in the back by copying our top boss to our private conversations. Never trust anyone in your workplace. You’ll never know who’s secretly jealous of you or having some grudges on you.
So bluntly, "keep your mouth shut." Got it.
They have a problem with that as well 😂
When i started my first job I got the best advice from mother in law. She said never tell your co workers your personal business because they will use it against you. That was over 40 years ago and the best advice I EVER got about work. Never ever tell them anything. Be friendly but don't expose yourself. I've seen people be destroyed because they shared secrets😢
I don't even talk to my coworkers about my weekend... if they ask I just change the subject. They can't use the things I say against me if I never say anything to them.
except that makes you a sociopath...and prepared to be fired as a person people don't like working with
It's easy enough to be somewhat vague.
winterwoods - Just say something generic and vague like "I'll be chillin"" (lol) and then change the subject back to them.
@@helpanimals-that's a very misplaced use of the word sociopath. Don't just throw words around. Try and understand and evaluate their meaning.
How could they use information about your weekend against you?
I learned a lot of this the hard way because as a ten I was very lucky as I got a job at a little local mom and pop restaurant and they really were very honest friendly and well.... Like a family. They would literally come pick me up if my car broke down and one time they even bought one of my coworkers groceries during a natural disaster and we all got Christmas bonuses and had every bank holiday off! They were genuinely lovely people to work for. When I broke out of that though I was in for a terribly rude awakening. My next job was hell. I would go back to the first job but they really don't pay enough to make much of a living. Though I am thankful for that nice cushy entrance into the dark world of adulthood.
Sometimes the grass don't akways greener it's better to just do what you can
The hands down best piece of advice in this video was to avoid talking politics at work. So many people will just automatically have it out for you for simply disagreeing with them, and they will happily throw you under the bus every chance they get, just out of spite.
Real talk real friends shouldn't force u to like who they like it's just like me telling you to like my hobbies when you have your own
Yes! I usually just give very lame answers so that it gives humor and I evade the topic lol ...like "oh, I like this guy because ever since he became a politician I got Taco Bell lol"
Orelse I just use my go to sentence "no vote should be disclosed to anyone and I respect both parties"
Even if the other employees lean left politically while I am also am left leaning, I still avoid giving my own opinion.
Don't ever tell your coworkers that you have a side business, especially if you work for a company that has a clause in the contract prohibiting you from earning income on the side. I'm a contractor working in the skilled trades, but I also used to work for a food and beverage manufacturer, and you could actually be terminated if they found out you worked another job or had a legitimate business, even if it was something that didn't directly compete with the company. They wanted us available 24/7, but they were too cheap to pay us a living wage.
We are supposed to promote our business on social media and through various other ways, how we are supposed to keep this as a secret in today's age.
@@karthik007 Don't put your face and name on it
@@karthik007 You can't be forced to promote your company on your *personal* social media. Tell them to hire a social media person for marketing if it is so crucial to the company.
You do realize that not everything a company tells you is right or legal, yes??
@@deirdrekiely6187 What I mean is that I might have to promote my own business on social media and not the company where I am doing job.
@@deirdrekiely6187 I think they meant promoting their own side business on social media, not promoting their main corporate job.
There's an old saying- when you tell a person something worthy of gossip, assume that person will tell 10 people. Even though it's just an old saying and may not work out that way every time, it only takes THE ONE PERSON you didn't want hearing it, in order to come back and bite you in the ass.
We have one like this. She trolls everyone from multiple departments and shifts for info. The Extra of the corporate world. Lol
My old job had one like this. When she told me a piece of terribly salacious gossip about our boss - I kept mental note ✍🏾 "Never tell this bish a damn thing" 😂
It got back to our boss but the girl still wasn't fired, even when she did other egregious stuff because unfortunately the gossip she passed around about the boss -was true. It was a career ender for the two people involved and would have resulted in a huge lawsuit.
She was eventually promoted.
That's why working from home is great, no commute hassles and time-wasting, no office distractions or politics, just focus and do the job.
OMG, yes!
Unless you live with other people and have visitors. I find other people to be highly distracting if my interactions with them are not at all work-related.
Yes. This all the way.
Indeed. It is the only way to avoid all the pitfalls. Not to mention that WFH is the natural progression of the Internet.
I got let go after a month in a contract because I told my office mate I wouldn't be renewing my contract after 3 months. I was gone an hour later. The funny thing is that I got a new job in 2 weeks and that job has lasted over 17 years.
So that person snitched on you?
@@benzemamumba I think so. There was no proof, just strong coincidence. It also sucked that I was one day away from qualifying for COBRA, so I needed to find a job quickly for health insurance.
Things happen for a reason. Good and bad
Good advice. Be very wary of confiding in co-workers because you think they are "friends." Even if they've been to your house 100 times, they are not your friends. Never will be, as long as you're working with them, because they will have the ability to seriously damage not just your job but your career at any time for any reason, real or imagined or conniving.
The only time I would recommend doing that is when you want to see where the holes in your trust network are. Put out a harmless tidbit of real or fake info and see if it comes out into general gossip/behavior toward you or not, and from whom. Just tell that one person and see if anybody else winds up knowing about it. You'll soon find out some things you'll be glad you became aware of.
🤔
This happened to my Dad. He had work buddies - they went fishing and hunting together, worked on cars etc. He got burned in a fire at work and the coworkers were ordered to not have any contact with him (this was in the 80s). The only coworker to visit my dad in the Hospital was a religious guy.
@@Denniss7420 Sad, but also so illegal. What a shame.
By default keep conversations with co-workers at 3rd grade level.
*makes poop jokes in the break room*
@@greatwavefan397 don’t forget the yo mama jokes too! 💀
@@greatwavefan397 that actually happens at my workplace
My co workers think I don’t curse and I’m extremely religious because of how impersonal all my conversations are. I’m not just don’t feel the need to curse like a sailor in a hospital 😅
What if something happened like a tornado or we had another of those stupid lockdowns like we had in 2020 you would really have to band together with those people who might have gone along with the mandates four years ago but they won't now you need to know even if it's covert some of their affiliations so you can stand up for what's right even if the corporate tries to make you believe lies and forces you to wear a mask or take an experimental shot again, because let me tell you there are tons of people who received three and four years ago with all this government propaganda these crazy riots in the streets and the virus that has a 99.7 survival rating there are tons of people even more liberal or moderate people who are now saying they will never do another lockdown again because in retrospective they realize that it wasn't only wrong but it was dangerous and society has never really gone back to the way it was before because of all this propaganda that many people still believe.
I mean for crying out loud I still see people wearing masks in their car by themselves and the last couple years that I've worked at Kroger before I got the job I have now who's the gentleman I've never actually seen the bottom of his face he's had two masks on for over a year and I try to be friendly with him and I always deep down I wanted to ask him what he's doing but I'm afraid he'll flip out but I kind of feel bad for the guy because it looks like he can't breathe he would wear two cloth masks heavy cloth masks out in the sun in a 80 or 100° weather and I just had to shake my head because it's sad that he's living in such deception and he still believes the lies he was taught a few years ago.
You could have your bestest friend at work, cry on each others' shoulders, be there for important life moments, etc., but all it takes is one falling-out, and that person becomes Your Worst Enemy and will throw you under the bus for anything and make it his life's mission to destroy you. It could be over a real or just perceived slight, some petty jealousy, misinterpreting an innocent comment, or an outsider favoring you over him (raise, promotion, etc.).
Saw that happen numerous times.
And companies are asking people coming back to office, so people can collaborate by not being themselves.
NEVER tell your coworkers your plans, side-hustles, or dreams. Don't tell them when you are looking for a job. Don't tell them when you are about to leave. Don't tell them when you have an interview. NOTHING.
Coworkers will fill in the gaps - even where there aren’t any.
I had a boss many years ago. All he had to do was to come in, with his hair parted a little differently, I knew he was looking for another job and I was right.
Also years ago, one day, I came in dressed differently. People started commenting, asking if I was going on a date, a job interview, where I was going for lunch. Even the president, who’d apparently had a hidden crush on me, had taken interest and was, standing in the lobby, when I was going out for lunch. To understand the context of this, he NEVER stood in the lobby, waiting for his cronies. Was always waiting in his car. Then, went behind a display case, so he wouldn’t look so obvious, whipped around me and held the door, so he could get a closer look. It was bizarre. What was I wearing? A black top, black pants, black flats. What was the reason I was actually wearing them? Because I was in a rush that morning and didn’t have time to iron anything. Where was I going that day? Wendy’s Drive Thru, like most other days.
Lastly and hard to do on a daily basis, which I’m still learning everyday, though nearing retirement age is - don’t say anything much, to anyone. You have to strike a balance between being engaged and in a good mood and a bit unattainable and cautious. Why? Not only because, as is often said, they’re not your friends. But, people change. They morph. I work for someone who, a few years ago, complained about another coworker. Now, they’re much like that coworker. I have another coworker, who mentioned something to me and I wouldn’t agree or chime in, because I also knew who they were, when they were first hired and they we’re DEFINITELY not in my corner. They could go back to that again. Don’t tell people anything, who’ve been fired or retired. They may still maintain very close relationships with others and they have “0” to lose, by stirring the pot and making you lose your job.
None of this is easy. It may not be entirely possible to keep your personal and business life separate because, if you need time off, like for medical or legal issues, that will have to be communicated to your boss.
I don’t think it’s possible or a skill the everyday person has to keep their personal lives separate. I know who’s married, dating, single, who has children, no children, family planning, and medical issues. It happens and it not necessarily a bad thing. When you’re around someone 10 hours a day your personal life will come up.
@@757Princess no, it’s not easy. For more and more people also, they live alone and that company IS their family - right where that company wants them. It’s also a situation where it’s hard to keep your personal life separate, when another coworker thinks you’re besties. In conversation, we all want something interesting to say. Often, that may be about our personal lives, since there might not be a SINGLE thing interesting going on at work. I know that, if I feel in love - I’d probably have to hide it from my boss. WHAT!? That’s right. Because she wouldn’t be happy, not being with the one she loves, yet I find someone. Could actually lose my job. Could be worse than buying a better car than your boss (which I did 😉).
Yeah, honestly people who are that bored with their own lives will start to put pieces together. Because they're bored. But you can do your part by being consistent too, even if things change in your personal life, try to be consistent at work so people don't have a reason to notice you. I've learned that the hard way too. Some people really are paying too much attention. I really don't pay THAT much attention to other people unless there's a specific reason too but over the years I start to notice who is paying wayyyy too much attention to me though by the details they tell me over time.
@@Liz-wz8dh yeah, if you’re intuitive enough, you’ll pickup on someone paying attention to you, unless they’re very good at hiding it. That boss was excellent at hiding it and I don’t know for how long. I’d worked for him, for many years, before things “changed”. Too bad he was my married boss🔥
Other coworkers, start paying attention, for a number of reasons. Anywhere from being afraid of you, to just not liking you, to seeing how they can dump their work on you or get you to train them, in what you do. For me, it’s a bite to navigate and I’d rather WFH everyday.
That may be true, but their guesses may not always be correct. In fact, more often than not, their conclusion is wrong. I've worked at places where people gossip all the time. The amount of stuff I heard about me. They were right 1.5/10 times, and even then, it wasn't the whole truth. All we can do is guess and come up with answers if we're really curious.
Your first mistake was caring, they dont care about you.... I am not my job. A check doesn't make a place special or worthwhile. I'm not paid to care. If anything I am paid to pretend to you I care and if you buy the act I should get a raise.
I definitely dont honor exploitation either. Since every job that exists ever is dependent of paying you less than you bring it...
Your second mistake was also then, caring.
You can only be in trouble if you again... care. The abilty to.not give a damn is a super power. As with any job... i was looking for one when I found this one so..... whatever.
Job titles dont show up on tombstones. Nobody cares big picture. And on that very deathbed last thing you're gonna say is you wish you worked more or harder etc. The irony is its.the furthest thing that matters in the end.
I agree. If you are offended fire me I don't give a damn I'll go find a job at a cooler company with better coworkers.
When I share information to my coworkers, I act like they will tell my manager tomorrow.
I make up stuff 🤪
I work on a warehouse floor so this works well for me. Don't talk much, if any at all. Bring a water canteen so you only need to hit the break room once before your shift starts. Don't give out social media information.
I hate corporate. Can't wait too leave it and never come back.
All work environments are corporate. 🤷🏾♀
Basically, one should keep all discussions confined to work-related topics only. Your colleagues are not your friends/family.
I find this doesn’t build trust. You have to talk about your personal life but it should be positive, selective and in small doses.
Trust me. Everyone well-meaning employee would like to build trust, but corporations only care about the bottom line.
Yes but @disarchitechted has a point. Cohesion/trust are good for the bottom line. Corporations that don’t see cohesion immediately perceive you as not being a team player and instantly jump to you being the problem. Just keep what you say about personal life and relationships to a minimum.
If I have to walk on eggshells, I'd just as soon not be there, at all.
That's how I feel. I don't believe in being unpleasant at work, but you should be able to be honest in a kind way. The problem is most people don't know how to do this and will never learn it. So it becomes having to walk on eggshells to keep things from exploding over something minor.
Don't take it personal. That paycheck is very valuable. Just remain professional.
That’s almost all places of work these days, you’re better off staying quiet.
I take it a step even further than this. I live a meager lifestyle in the hope that I will be permanently rid of my job, or any job, one day. I really don't talk to coworkers or say much of anything outside of my job function. Pretty much yet another reason to leave the toxic "career" stew
Something you should add to this list is when you’re ready to leave the company, tell NO ONE except your boss, and only tell them EXACTLY two weeks before your new offer’s written start date. A former coworker of mine, who worked at this company for almost four years, gave three weeks notice in an effort to be considerate and give the department more time with transition. HR told them “your last day will be in two weeks, sorry, see ya.” Not the end of the world, but that’s a week without a paycheck and benefits out of an effort to be nice. It was a warning sign to the entire company to give as little notice as possible.
Even if you give them two-weeks notice, they can still fire you immediately in most states. Take your vacation time before giving them notice because you might lose it if they are not required to pay it upon termination.
Same happened to me. Fuck them
That's interesting.. I wonder what the reasoning was on that??
Either way - yep, unfortunately, we need to only do what is legally required!
@@sexygeek8996 This is what happened to a friend, of a friend, of mine. She worked in insurance and gave two-weeks notice. But somehow they knew, or she told them, that she would working for another job, at another insurance. They fired her right there. According to my friend, it was because it is was for another insurance competitor. Now, in her current location, she does make more then the last job, but man it reminded me just because you put in two-weeks does not guarantee they will give that to you. If you hate the place and and lined up another opportunity, just leave. Don't bother with the two-weeks.
There is no law stating you need to give notice.. but it's an asshat move to not give at least 2 weeks.
The less you share the better. I was reminded of this earlier this week. I shared some insights from one meeting and boom, that info got shared with the wrong person.
My advice: Your workplace is not your social club. Don't make friends, don't divulge family life or personal information not related to your job. Be seen as someone who is there to work, cordial, polte, respectful, and professional. Never loiter around printers, kitchen or water coolers. Always give a courteous response but short and sweet. Example "What did you do on the weekends?". "Oh nothing much", but with a smile, always smile, but give nothing away. Avoid being drawn into any lengthy conversations unless it is about work or it is a work meeting. Remember you are there to work, not make friends or enemies.
There will always be someone making jokes. Don't react or laugh. They may ask "What's the matter Joe, didn't you get the joke?". "Sorry, I wasn't listening, I need to focus on this". Sounds austere, but that's the way it is, to survive.
They may say "You are not a team player". Respond: "Sorry, but I am socially awkward and not good with conversations".
I can tell you that from experience, you will earn lots of respect as being a dedicated worker and quiet achiever.
That is the kind of accolades that you want. To my friends I always say, treat your workplace like you are on Survivor.
Keep quiet if you found an immunity idol and make subtle alliances. Your workplace persona is what you want them to see, not the real you.
Literally refer to them as “coworker” to keep you constantly reminded. “Hello coworker.” etc.
Comrade.
"Greetings fellow cubicle dweller."
Compartmentalizing one’s life is a virtue.
Learned this first hand. It was a harsh learning lesson. I was not as careful as I should have been and wound up in front of the office manager. Nothing I said was a fire able offense (everything was truthful) but it did give me a heads up regarding my co-worker and I was able to warn others.
This also applies to neighbors. They aren’t your friends, just people who compete.
AGREED!!!!
That logic can be applied to anyone in any situation meaning no one will be ur friend.
I've seen many that, over the course of 40 years, that suggest that they, as co-workers, are your friends, and want you to correspond with them after they leave; many do that at the time that they are actively leaving the company. And if you correspond with them, the truth tends to be that MOST won't give you the time of day, even thru an email days, weeks or months later.
I always leave with "Hey my calendar is free. YOU let me know when we can hang out" and never hear back. The last 20 years for me I have trained my bosses who came in and quickly got promoted and they they pushed me out. I have written letter of recommendation, been the phone reference and mentioned to my "circle" of job openings at my place. When I got laid off, no one ever returned the favor. I train cause I am paid for it. But after that to each their own. Co-workers are just your competitors.
My old coworker and I bumped into one of our other coworker who was in HR going to lunch. She told us she was pregnant. My old coworker was a really nice guy and always tried to check on how people were doing. He asked her if she was 7 or 8 months into her pregnancy. The smile on her face disappeared, and she replied "two". I was dying inside and after we walked away, I told him he should never bring that kinda stuff up
He probably didn’t mean to be offensive and didn’t think of it until after, some guys just don’t have a filter with questions 😂😂
Daayyyuuuim she must have been really fat
She was eating for 5.😂 Expecting 1 girl. 😂
@@charliedallachie3539 yeah. I thought she was getting pretty close to delivery based on belly size but I just knew to keep my mouth shut. I think a question of "when are you expecting?" might have been ok
@@hotcarlsf meh,..so she's a fat pregnant woman. It's not healthy actually, she'll always be fat.
To be honest sometimes you don’t even have to say these things, but your co-workers set you up and lie and say you did say it.
Truth.
true
Learned this one the hard way...
@@novalinnhe I just did today 🤦🏾♂️
My co worker and I would have friendly chats about our boss and how he wasn't great at his job. It was just two "work friend's" blowing off steam and making jokes. The coworker ended up formally going after our boss to the higher ups and trying to get him out of the position. I ended up having to meet with a vice president and an hr representative so they could"get a feel for how things were running". The coworker ended up telling them that I said things that I didn't say to pad his case against our boss. We ended up getting a new boss and the coworker has implied he may do the same thing again not 8 months later to this boss. Needless to say, I think I figured out who the problem is and how much I can trust him.
I've had that happen with a boss I actually liked. I felt so awful. But the boss really was a problem, even though he was a nice guy in general and I just wanted the problems in how they managed fixed, not for them to be gone. You have to be really careful in telling people how you really feel about your boss because they don't always take the comments as intended. I generally don't complain about other people to get rid of them either, it's always to get an actual problem fixed. But I've learned the hard way that the actual problems usually just get complicated so I started just quitting if the problems with the boss were bad enough. Every boss I've had has told me they have some bullshit 'open door policy' but it's just not true, in my experience. If the problems are bad enough, it's best just to leave.
Listen to your gut when it comes to sharing anything about yourself, especially with managers and HR! Assume they'll use it against you, not that it will help you have a closer, better relationship.
Yes, and be suspicious of the people who claim to want to know you better because there's usually a reason. It's not usually friendship.
Not talking about salary helps the company more than the workers. It is supposed to be illegal to retaliate against employees talking about working conditions. Think about it, if you were being underpaid, wouldn't you want to know so you could ask for more money or look for another job?
Most managers know that retaliation is ONLY illegal if you get caught. So they spend their time focusing on how not to get caught. It works too. I've seen normally vocal managers suddenly start being real quiet, but listening in when employees discuss how they don't like being treated on the job.
How are you supposed to network and make connections if you don’t allow anybody (including key people) to get to know you? All I hear over and over again is “it’s not what you know but who you know”.
He said don't share personal information. Have a little bit of comprehension and also understand nuance FFS. 🤦
@@benzemamumba But you’re likely not gonna build any actual friendships nor any meaningful connections with just small talk at the water cooler and by constantly keeping a giant wall up. This is my point.
Simple. Get people talking about themselves, and don't share anything personal yourself. People love to talk about themselves, and will see you as friendly and interested. Ask leading questions, smile and nod. You will become known as a great conversationalist.
@@GlennHa amen. Been doing it since my OJT days in college
One more thing, never disclose to your co-workers that you own a property . They turn against you if they're still renting or struggling to pay off their loans. They get super jealous. I have experienced this in my work place.
oh please
@@beezusHrist No s/he is right, NO personal info about you or your family, EVER
@@IraqieGirl541 oh please
@@beezusHrist🤡
Right. I told someone I had paid off my mortgage early (and no debts at all) and the next thing you know, all the haters came out of the woodwork. Including the manager, because he was a personal finance disaster.
You forgot to mention how you can use leaky co-workers to your advantage by telling them things you want management to know without actually telling them yourself.
This is tricky if they find out you are the source of the information!
Yup, done this myself and laughed my ass off
I've done this , we have a Samoan 2nd incharge , she can transfer information way quicker than any official form , our company endorses bullying, ½ of the management has a complete disregard for the company policy. 17+ years of mobbing to me .
Have seen owners use this tactic in reverse to go the word out to the whole company. Tell the gossips.
@@Hazeleyonidas Not if you do it right. For example, you ask someone if they have heard about such and such thing. No names -- but I guarantee it will spread within a week or two.
Also, don't tell your coworker you have a second job or side hustle. Employers don't like hearing you have another job because they might interpret it as you not being 100% committed to your job, and you won't be available for work (travel, overtime, promotion), or that you can possibly have a conflict of interest with your other employer.
They're Crabs in a Bucket. They don't want you doing as good as they are.
You give advice like it's 2015. This is post covid, everybody needs to be looking for a second job at all times! Screw them in what they think! I'm so sick of tiptoeing because of what your current employer thinks of you! They already don't pay enough anyways
You can and should be upset about it but it doesn’t change the reality of the workplace.
I’ve seen people get in trouble at my current job for what he’s saying
Yes but be strategic about it. Of course always be ready for job hunting. It's a shame no long term employment but more job hopping frequently.
And that's how people get fired.
Doesn't matter what your employer thinks of you anyway, for better, or for worse - you're only in any job to earn money to do the things you really want to do. Work is just a means to an end, nothing more !
100% agreed with everything you mentioned.
I know well and learnt it the hard way that coworkers not friends.
My question is - what to do if people in the office start breaking your boundries and getting personal? How do you approach it professionally and let them know - i don't want any of that?
My coworkers are my team and my family. Not everyone is a backstabber. You learn who is and who isn't. My team isn't perfect, but they have been there for me when I needed them. They have gotten me through some of the hardest times of my life.
I had an interview with a company that had connections with my workplace. They said that they know my boss and asked if it is ok to ask him for feedback. I denied their request but a few months later I had a signifficant salary increase on my performance review. I believe the news reached my company and it worked in my favor
I don't get it. How did it work out? you denied them to speak with your former boss after an interview?
That’s a first.
Excellent advice. I try my best to be as robotic as possible when dealing with people, both at work and home.
Never confide in a coworker until you've already signed that superior offer and already tendered your resignation. Be amicable and friendly but not bona fide friends.
Excellent advice,lots of co workers are back stabbing two faces.Always going for brownie points.
Guys you can't believe how fast gossip travels inside a workplace. This is especially true if it is a big facility with several hundred employees inside the facility. I'm know a guy who told a story from several years before about some drunk nonsense that happened at the holiday party and how three people got fired. Within, three days everyone knew the story. Crazy!!
Some co-workers will screenshot everything you write.
@@UCKszbcV Gossip travels so fast in the workplace, sometimes it seems worse than high school.
@@UCKszbcV yes, I've stopped talking to someone who was sending me print screens of conversations with other coworkers.
@@hakuna8374 Exactly, they will do the same thing to you.
I live in an at-will state. I don't worry about what management thinks because they will find ways to get rid of you if they want to for just about any reason. Best thing to do is keep your skills on point, resume polished and your head on a swivel for a new opportunity.
Word
Straight up.
All 50 states are "At will."
Aren't employers spying on their employees these days? Why don't you cover something about that.
You're free to cover whatever you want on your own channel
@@GLsJAwtomatica Fair enough
You are right! My company spies on us so I have to be careful
We are spied on 100% every key stroke. They fired people with more than 20 years for‘violating policy’ but absolutely refuse to define the policy.
Well, that certainly explains alot. Workers are not lazy. How can people work well under surveillance?
I'll never forget sitting in a meeting room where a coworker asked a female colleague he hadn't seen in a while how far along she was. The look on her face, and he said it in a room full of people. Spoiler, she wasn't pregnant. People can also be so toxic and spiteful. I've had coworkers publicly accuse me of cheating/fraud at work because I was outperforming them. I've been bullied by coworkers over not being able to afford the same things as them. At my last job, I learned to never say anything in meetings unless I am presenting information or I am asked a direct question. Otherwise I keep my mouth shut because I've been pulled into "DEI" discussions over the most innocuous things like asking if the rest of the team got a weird email.
I always cringe inside when I watch videos about being careful what you say to colleagues. Memories of my early career when I over shared come flooding back. 😅. Did some career coaching, the coach was saying you are building your brand all the time, consciously or unconsciously. I took that onboard and started to become one of those ‘fake’ corporate people I so bemoaned at the start of my career. My progression affects things that are important in my life like being able to provide for my family, and what people think of you can make a massive difference to being recommended or promoted… so with a bit of maturity and hindsight I can see why people are ‘fake’ now!
I’m there to do a job, that aspect takes precedence, limiting the personal side to the sort of things I wouldn’t mind being printed on the front page of a newspaper. There should be enough ‘reveal’ to build trust, but at the same time, I’m not there to make friends.
Yes I was in one office where if you don’t participate in gossip the whole office ostracised you. I learnt to reveal some non essential stuff of myself like hobbies etc…
If you only talk about work only many pp will shun you.
I told one of my coworkers I was looking for another job. He was as well and we were using each other as resources and motivation. He ended up announcing it to the whole department. Granted he also announced his own job search, but I wasn't ready for that information to come out yet. Luckily because of my particular situation it didn't matter, but definitely keep things like that under wraps.
Avoid getting into a romantic relationship with your coworkers and boss. It will back fire on you and lead to termination.
Yeah I never understood why people get into relationships with their coworkers let alone MARRIED. Like go outside more and use dating apps
my mother and father met at the workplace. im thankful because i was given life. sometimes it works out but i personally wouldn’t do it
@@se2664 : Yeah, it's literally just because people spend so much time around each other at work. I've had that happen before. I just was AT work all the time so it's natural to start to like SOME of the people you work with, even if in general you're a private person. But still, coworkers really shouldn't be looked at in any other way but coworkers. You really can't know someone you work with in that context and a lot of people have issues.
I did that but was also the reason i got fired😂 no joke😅
Love the Men at Work cover on your shelf!
I don't know, maybe I'm hybrid and don't meet every day with my coworkers, but we chat a lot in slack, there are meme channels, music channels etc. Everybody is chill and I dont feel this power struggle, game of thrones like attitude in the company. The structure is kinda horizontal despite that 120-140 people works there, everybody is helpful, talkative, also professional. The managers are also empathetic, if somebody has a blocker they try to help to solve it, or the other co-workers help who are able to. We have a lot of brainstorming, discussing ideas, and if it's good we implement it. Deadlines are correct as well, there is time for testing.
In other words...it's the way it should be.
You can in fact find colleagues you can trust at your job but the risk will always be there regardless. If one does choose to trust a colleague to discuss matters with, remember Trust but ALWAYS verify. This was a method I use to this day and weed out who I can’t trust and who I can “trust”. Tell different things to each person and see what comes back/sticks.
I always say that i hate my job
Wow, really great advice! I also appreciate it that it's coming from someone with the HR perspective and has seen or experienced enough examples to identify these patterns. ❤
Co workers can back stab you just to get ahead.
This guy was in training. He would tell me he wasn't going to do what I told him to do, 7 times. I told a manager, keep coaching him, wow I'm thinking!!
There are people out there who are good, just like you.
I talk about my dogs a lot so that people think Im being personable and friendly but I am actually sharing nothing personal at all. I really prefer remote work so that I have to interact as little as possible.
Emotional intelligence plays a vital role with your suggestions…
I have no idea why anyone would want to share what their wages are. That’s crazy to me.