Mothers with 4th Degree Tears
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- Join Laura Fry and Physiotherapist Jeanice Mitchell PT, MPT, WCS, BCB-PMD, as they discuss the support group helping mothers with 4th degree tearing.
Laura is a mother of 3 who, for the past 5 years, has been helping women with @motherswith4thdegreetears, so that they do not feel alone, and can reach out to a group who understand the complications from vaginal tearing. Now with over 2,000 followers, she provides support and awareness to mums all over the world, and is an advocate for better informed medical providers.
MAN, I'm glad to see this happening! I had a LOT of birth trauma with my first child thirty-four years ago, and it has left me with both urinary and fecal incontinence. It also contributed to the demise of my marriage. Honestly, it very nearly cost me my life.
My daughter was 9 lb 4 oz. Back then, women in my area were not encouraged to advocate for themselves as far as birthing plans, etc... in fact, the medical establishment kind of slyly discouraged it. My plan was to have a natural childbirth. In fact, much to the chagrin of the medical staff, i labored quite effectively right up to the point where it was almost too late to get an epidural (7 cm at the time. I have no idea what the parameters are now.) My nurses had told me all through my labor, "Honey, this is going to be a really big baby. Are you sure you don't want an epidural?" When i got to 6 cm, i was basically coerced into getting the epidural, which unfortunately only took on one side no matter what they tried and left me a puking mess. Meanwhile, a nurse, who didn't bother to tell me what she was doing, with a room full of my family and friends, started twaddling around in my lady bits as everyone chit chatted away... When i asked what in the world she was doing, she said, "Oh! I'm trying to thin out your perineum." Perineal massage is really invasive anyway, but particularly when it's done by a stranger and it is unannounced AND done, albeit under the covers, in a room full of people. So, there i was, pukey, painful on one side because i felt EVERYTHING where the epidural didn't take, with a stranger twaddling away in my vagina in front of my nearest and dearest, and i felt totally out of control! It was surreal. My daughter's birth was pretty quick. I pushed about 5 times, BUT, i was on my back with my feet in the air! I felt like i was pushing a Mack truck up a hill! Plus, Casey was face up. My OB did an episiotomy, but i ended up with a 4th degree tear. Every nurse who examined me postpartum said, "Ooooo." Or, "Oh, my..." but they soft pedaled the injury when they discussed it by using the word "discomfort" instead of "pain." What i experienced was PAIN!!! That made me feel like a wimp. It was my first time, i really didn't know what to expect, and i felt like i was failing. It was all so overwhelming and i didn't feel like i thought i would. The experience made it difficult to bond with my baby, and two days isn't enough time to process that kind of trauma AND bond with and care for a newborn. Shortly after getting home, i ended up with mastitis and cracked and bleeding nipples. Plus, Casey had colic. I had no one to talk to about the amount of pain i was in. All anyone wanted to talk about was the Hallmark maternal perfection of it all. I thought i was a failure as a woman and a mother because that's not what i experienced at ALL! That led to postpartum depression with suicidal ideation so severe that i required hospitalization. Finally, one friend came forward and told me she'd had a very similar experience and that i was not alone. She talked to me for hours, and she answered my questions honestly. She cried with me and basically, she saved my life. Women helping women is SO important! Sharing our experiences can literally save somebody's life! Now if we can fully get medical practitioners on board!
I suffer from 4th perineal tear for 12 years now, it cost me my marriage. I thought I was the only one, no information about this was available years ago. So, thank you!
Personally, I would like to see Doctors provide informed consent to women regarding the form of delivery and allowing the patient to make an informed decision based on how they want to give birth. No one should have to go through the consequences of a severe tear from Childbirth. I’m trying to get an elective c section now to avoid this risk of vaginal birth but my doctor is giving me a hard time. I’m going to have to switch doctors to find someone to deliver my baby. Thank you for posting information about severe tearing. It has helped me to become informed of all the risks associated with vaginal birth and I’m happy to advocate for women to have a choice about their child delivery method as well as receive the proper care if they end up with some of the issues that come along with severe tearing
Hi, could you connect me with the Facebook support group mentioned? 🙏🏻
Hello there! I believe it’s called Mothers with 4th degree tears. I’m not on Facebook much and don’t have the direct link. Please email me if you don’t find it!
Connect@mypfm.com