[rawvlog] emotional rollercoaster (strong language warning)

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 14

  • @dronespace
    @dronespace 9 років тому

    Sorry to hear you've been down :o(
    Hope the van gets fixed soon and you feel better.

    • @insanity54
      @insanity54  9 років тому +1

      Thank you for your kind words

  • @xerroxefra
    @xerroxefra 9 років тому +1

    your effin awesome. your a modern day renaissance man. here's some music I listen to when am feeling like the way you are in the video. this guy changed my life forever.
    Savant - Hero from the past
    you should check all his music out!
    he's the only god I praise!

    • @uberscientist
      @uberscientist 9 років тому +1

      Savant has some great tracks, but I love listening to Tycho, he really makes some tracks that have a calming effect

    • @insanity54
      @insanity54  9 років тому +1

      Thank you Eric, I love ya, man. Always so positive and #swagger. If it's coming from you, I know it'll be good. I will check out his music.

    • @insanity54
      @insanity54  9 років тому

      Christopher Toledo
      I will check tis out too

    • @xerroxefra
      @xerroxefra 9 років тому

      insanity54 Nothing but love over here bro!
      [:

  • @uberscientist
    @uberscientist 9 років тому +1

    I need to make a video about my supplements, I've found piracetam to help a lot with those drastic mood swings. (but I'm a creative type that likes to change things loool, I just ordered some crazy new chemicals to ingest and try en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tianeptine is one... seems slightly dangerous, but possibly useful)
    "Hey Chris, it It's like..." statistics, probabilities, you'll hit down days, but there are ways to tilt the odds in your favor. And I've found using supplements to really help level myself. Maybe I'll make some videos, I am usually pretty guarded about this stuff, but you might be able to benefit from my magic rituals :)
    For my mom it was "Get a job" not "go to church" basically same thing though for her, "bio survival tickets" are the savior of the secular world. And like you said, it would probably not be a bad thing, it would just be straying from the twisted path. (I also love the Tao Te Ching to draw religious feelings from: www.wussu.com/laotzu/laotzu45.html) -- that's one of the reasons I'm going hard on finance stuff... I have a vision for this world, and there are ideas that need funding and I don't feel comfortable begging/selling others to listen, so it's a matter of finding opportunities that have a high probability of success... granted, I haven't figured it out!!! LOL exactly, self-sufficient. I would've probably done a cut-up of my negativity, because it freaks me out, but it lets me project it. It's awesome how relatable this video is.
    Y'all are alright, I believe in us freaks who don't listen to their parents and do all the wrong things. I personally get a joyous feeling of destrudo seeing machines out-perform humans, like I can imagine this future where humans are mere energy mass for the global neural network~

    • @insanity54
      @insanity54  9 років тому +1

      Thank you Christopher. Yeah I'm sure I could do a better job about taking care of my body. A big problem with me is stress. It'll build up for days and I don't do anything about it, that tension becomes extreme stress and anger, gets so bad my vision gets blurry and sometimes I even have heart palpitations.
      I'm starting to think I shouldn't pursue web development since thinking critically while holding still on the computer is my major source of stress. I love it but if it affects me that negatively, I don't think I should do it full time. Maybe I should go back to my roots of being an artist, and just do web dev occasionally for fun. Or maybe it's just a balance issue with computer use. I'm not sure, more experimenting is required.
      I'm at my best right after waking up. I'm so chillaxed, then the stress just builds from there. At one point I convinced myself I just needed to exercise every day to get rid of the stress and anger. I was into jogging pretty heavily last summer. It had strange effects. I would be super relaxed right after a 3 mile jog, then a half hour later the stress would be back, maybe worse than before the jog.
      The best thing I've figured out to deal with this is just talking about what's going on in my head. What I'm lacking in my life is people to honestly talk/speak to. It's easier for me to talk to the camera instead of talking to nothing, because I know people will probably see the video. Even when I was working I didn't talk much. IDK if talking has some psychological effect of if it's just jaw movement. I read that eating food or chewing gum in the morning is the best way to wake up because of the jaw movement... I do carry a lot of my stress in my face so maybe that jaw movement relaxes the tense muscles.
      My diet is as unstable as I am lol. I think I would benefit from some sort of supplements. Ah, secret magic rituals, I am intrigued. I'd love to learn about it if you feel like sharing! Tianeptine sounds interesting. "hedonic hotspots" nice haha. Ohh yeah I see the side effects say potential liver damage, but there was limited evidence on that. Also, I'm sure there are worse things that most people take on a daily basis.
      I'm bookmarking that Tao Te Ching. Seems like some great topics to sit and meditate on.
      Statistics, probabilities. Yes, so true. If only I could capture the entropy of the universe and plug it into my lazor-quantum supercomputer and calculate the exact times and dates of my negative emotional events and feed that data into my implanted Arduino Zeta R3x10^32 which would inject various magical supplements into my bloodstream for a seamless mind state. With an off-switch of course, for when I feel like being human.
      Destrudo, hehe. oh mang. Yes indeed, I too love seeing machines out-perform humans. I'm excited for the day ASIMO and PETMAN save people from collapsed buildings, while the world watches the Red Bull sponsored event as if it's Felix Baumgartner freefalling from space. It's an exciting time to be alive. Let's just hope that us powering the global neural network is a mutual relationship.

    • @insanity54
      @insanity54  9 років тому +1

      Have you ever seen Steins:Gate? When I watched that, I got this feeling that you're the main character, and just now again when you say you have a vision for this world. Haha. I believe in you! You've got great talents and I think you'll go far. And time travel. :P... (ok maybe not the time travel in this universe)

    • @uberscientist
      @uberscientist 9 років тому

      Thanks, like I said I believe in you too so much. It's funny being called "Christopher" because even though it's my birth certificate name, I rarely get called it in real life... but *RANT ABOUT REAL NAMES ON THE INTERNET* anyway. Yeah. I'll try and make that video about nootropics/drug use/"magic", I wasn't very language fluent this morning though. I already wrote out a comment sort of like this but I guess I closed the tab in my FURIOUS INTERNET SURFING. I mentioned "runner's high" which it looks like you know, the painkillers our own body produces are extremely addictive and powerful, that's why you got that temporary relief, and you can see why people would shoot similar drugs into their veins to obtain that same relief. oy vey, I think I'll leave the rest for a video when I can actually speak this out, maybe the new chems will help. Hmmph.

    • @uberscientist
      @uberscientist 9 років тому

      insanity54 o derp, no I haven't seen steins:gate, I'll DL it, I haven't really been in the mood for my standard platter of american toons. After researching "destrudo" (it's a new word to me) I found those feelings might have Fruedian links to some level of Narcisism... maybe I'll make a video about that too :( but probably not, because i'm too busy being a megalomaniac!!!1

    • @insanity54
      @insanity54  9 років тому

      Christopher Toledo
      ORLY? I always assumed you went by Christopher because I always see, "Christopher Toledo". It's also Christopher for me on my birth cert. IRL nobody calls me that. .... furious internet surving, rawr! Runners high, mhm mhm, very addictive for sure. Most spiritual high I've ever had was from a long, exhaustive jog while listening to gr8 electronic music.