I agree that unforgivness will ruin the relationship because the back and forth will make you both miserable until he’s ready to leave just so you can maybe heal.
This is why some people are letting people just betray them like nothing and you have to beg for love f that just move on I'm in the middle of this and the only thing i wanted was to make my person happy that's it
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. People commit infidelity for many reasons, none ok but still requires independent analysis. That being said, you may not cheat but you have lied, stolen, lusted after another, maybe in movies or real life. You have blasphemed God's name (for Christians) or gossipped or slandered another. So what does this mean? Simply put some cheat and feel bad enough about it to do anything to change and get a second chance, while others cheat and feel no guilt. One deserves forgiveness and guidance, the other deserves non commitment. If we cannot forgive the failings of another then we don't deserve forgiveness for ours. None of us are perfect.
@@rubenthompson5900 That isn't true though. Forgiveness doesn't equate to reconciliation at all. Forgiveness is for the person whose been wronged so that they have the strength to move on. I forgave my ex not for him, but for me. I dumped him after he cheated because I believe that if he'll do it once, then he'll do it again. Therefore I forgave him but we did not reconcile.
love, cleo it pains me to see comments like this. There is zero tolerance for “cheaters”. As believers other sins should be met with the same contempt. One sin isn’t greater than the other as all sin is met with the same consequence. Judgment and Death by the Almighty God. I forgive but pray to God to give me the heart that Jesus had for sinners because He commands us to love the Lord our God with all our mind, soul strength and then to love our neighbors. Idk. Honestly I have a lot of heart so I’m not very quick to judge or call someone a serial “cheater” without examining the truth. We all fall short of the glory of God and the moment you think for a second that someone’s wrongdoings is worse than the little white lie you told yesterday. You’re only deceiving yourself. Let’s pray fervently and recognize that all sin is grossly detested by our Lord and only Jesus can truly help us with our unrepentant hearts.
Excellent Video! Excuse me for butting in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you ever tried - Millawdon Closeness Knowledge Trick (should be on google have a look)? It is a good one of a kind guide for getting to know your partner and improve your relationship minus the normal expense. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my mate after a lifetime of fighting got amazing results with it.
I am with you, packed my bags and took her to the man's house 🏠🙃..She is still mad today but I never looked back... Because God is good all the time....
My ex-husband cheated on me I found out when I was pregnant with my third child. It was hard! I was on an emotional roller coaster. I filed for a divorce shortly after I give birth. I suffered from postpartum depression and then found out this was a three years affair. Love yourselves enough to walk away.💯 Cheating is emotional abuse there's no way you can truly love someone to hurt them so badly. Cheaters are selfish individuals. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to stay. Sometimes, you have to disconnect from the person to stop the pain and find peace.
You're right ! Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to stay. Moses actually says this is the only reason that you can get out of marriage. After the trust is gone, after the betrayal and pain ! It's hard to look at that person the way you did before, their spirit becomes ugly !
I agree forgiving doesn’t mean stay or continue a relationship.. nor does it equal trust. Those are separate things. I truly believe you cannot heal in the same place you were broken. I left and filed for separation. When my husband decided to step out on our marriage for a 6week affair. My testimony is we separated for over a year. But we all sought counseling and he fought to get his family back. We are still a work in process. One thing I did learn through this. Is always choose you and make others respect your boundaries.
I'm working through this mess now, there is nothing like getting your heart ripped out by the one who supposedly loves you more than anything or anyone else in the world
I divorced my ex wife. You can forgive her, but love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. Luckily, we didnt have kids together. But choosing to divorce is more difficult when children are going to be affected.
@@manjotsingh4834 hello! I’m curious how it’s been on your journey? I’m currently going through this with kids and can’t decide what to do… any advice?
This is just superb, I have been researching "healing from an affair by doug and linda" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my partner got great results with it.
This is just superb, been searching for "relationships after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my cousin got amazing success with it.
Tupac once said "Just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table." So forgive but don't forget, learn from it and don't look back until you find peace.
You must be honest with yourself and truly heal in order for a relationship to truly work. Forgive or you will stay broken. I never though I could heal but I did with Gods help. If you allow God into your life, ANYTHING is possible!
I'll never understand how someone can tell you they know how much they have hurt you and how much they are ashamed, how much they love you but on the flip side of the coin they continue to do that which causes the most pain.
Guys and gals, if someone cheats, they had time to think about it, it was planned...when you catch them....run and dont look back....love yourself and find someone that truly loves you....
Rose Marilou Hello, This is always a difficult decision. It all depends on your situation. Finances and emotional trauma are certainly at play in these situations. But I believe doing the right thing is the best example for children.
Obviously i'm here because of a similar issue... @alma What would be the right thing? This guy explained we need to forgive, but didn't explain HOW to forgive...
Poisonous word Alma. Whoa, your name is Soul and your advice will lead to killing your soul. Take it easy, this man is preaching. If you are looking at these videos then you are experiencing this or have experienced this and are a person in need. If you are hear then listen - and don’t harden your heart. Do what you need to do and forgive. Only a true women and man of Christ can forgive and understand what it is to forgive. If you don’t try - then God has yet to strive in you.
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@@juliana1672 so you're telling you are getting fooled by over 15 years If I came to know if my wife was cheating over 5 years I would be ashamed of myself and blame me to be fooled and might destroy myself only
@@yolandabrook3663 forgiveness is a personal choice. Has nothing to do with If they ask or not. If someone owes you money and never asks to be forgiven of said debt, you can easily say, “you know what, don’t worry about it.” When Jesus died on the Cross he forgave his attackers and they didn’t ask.
I can tell from the comments that people have forgotten who God is, that He's the restorer, He makes things new but I do get where the hurt is coming from and how we would be hurt even more to become vulnerable again. It sucks
I've been married for 30 years and we established this one rule 32 years ago, and that rule is no friendships with the opposite sex no female friendships for me and no male friends for her. Because when you start giving any kind of one on one time and intimacy to someone outside of your marriage you start down the road to divorce. People need to understand the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Loving someone means making sacrifices for them and being selfless for them. Being in love with someone requires no sacrifices and is fueled by pure selfishness because it's all about how the other person makes you feel. Fellas never give another woman your wife's time and intimacy. Ladies never give another man your husband's time and intimacy.
this only is needed if you cant control yourself among the opposite gender, else if you have grown up with opposite gender, you will not feel like this...
@@osirusj275 i have 5 sisters 12 aunts and over 50 female cousins so I've always been around women since birth and have plenty of self control and never had a problem with female friends but that's not how women are built especially if all your female friends are beautiful. You see me and my wife once thought we could have close friends of the opposite sex but found out the hard way during the 8th year of our marriage when we were having issues and she confided in her best friend who'd she been friends with since the 4th grade and he professed his undying love for her and I went to my female friend which nearly lead to the end of our marriage and our parents warned both us but we didn't listen because times had changed but they were right people don't. But like my grandfather says keep on living and thinking that way and you'll find out sooner or later.
Never forgive an affair. It’s not only about the affair. It’s about lying,deceit and selfishness day after day. You can never have trust again under those circumstances. It’s just time to move on. Find someone trustworthy who wants and deserves you.
I forgave my wife for cheating but I couldn't get over all the deceit, lying and the fact that she was friend with her lover's wife and they used to come to our house, or she used to go to their house pretending to be her friend while sleeping with her husband for years, or the guy coming to my house seating at my kitchen table. So trust is lost for ever , finally somebody saw them entering a hotel and told the guy's wife and he told her who his lover was, so yeah he threw her under the bus, so she had to come clean, not but choice,...I really think the only regret she had was getting caught.
I am all for forgiving, I forgave him bc he doesn’t deserve my time or energy, no need to say, I closed the door to be even fiends. Who can trust again? Only a codependent. Not me.
Sorry I have to disagree.. my ex wife cheated and took my kids. 23yrs of marriage down the drain. There’s no way I’m returning back. I cried and mourned the death of my marriage and cried every night for a year and a half and lived in my truck.. built myself back got my relationship back with my kids but I want nothing to do with my ex.. I’m good on her.
Christine Hartfield, I agree, but I found my wife in bed getting pleasured by someone else. I quietly closed the bedroom door so they could have privacy and we talked about it peacefully that night. Her male friend's wife had a bad back and needed a wife until she got better. As far as I know, she never did it again.
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@@sweety4271984 I think he's trolling...I hope he's trolling...but if he isn't then God should let this man right into Heaven when he dies because that takes alot to get over.
You should consider that if you feel the need to spy on your spouse, and you’re not overreacting, perhaps you are in an untrustworthy marriage, that should be dissolved.
Cheating is painful, I once said if I would be betrayed I would never stay in the relationship. I was betrayed and still stayed with my partner of 19 years but found out she did it again. Ive been seperated for three months and not planning to get back with her since she thinks that I will forgive her again. Once a serial cheater always a serial cheater.
Yes... Breaks the heart. Most painful thing to be betrayed by someone you care about... In a physical way of betrayal.. Like your not good enough for them
Ouh Luis. That sounds awful. How are you now?? I’m going pass through the same thing. My partner just cheated on me. I thought the same thing that i would never accept something like that but the 2nd chances exists. The therapist that i have been hearing mentioned that if you agree to give a 2nd also you accept it could be a 2nd one. What happened to you the 2nd time you found it after 19 years? What did you felt) Your history it’s very meaningful, what did you advice after your experience? I apologise if I’m invasive and you did need to reply me. I just want to tell you that you were very courageous and i hope your heart is better now and all the pain you felt you were able to transform it into wisdom.
Agreed 💯- happened in my marriage. He just got more secretive- I just cannot trust him although I forgave him for being caught in a vicious of a lustful spirit. This is very dangerous
My boyfriend cheated on me in a long distance relationship with the same girl twice. Would you take him back in the future. If he learned his lesson and knows better. It's put me through a lot of pain, but maybe in the future I could give him a third chance but what do you guys think?
@weee wooo how would he learn his lesson if you take him back? What lesson would have been learned? Only to give you time to get over it.. nah, the only chance of learning a lesson these men/women have is if they actually lose you.. then maybe they’ll learn, but you won’t know because you have moved on.
@@bernardlartims9114 Yes I can forget! I'm so different. I put things in the back of my mind like it didn't happen. However, that's because I won't allow my peace to be broken.
Forgive, life is too short. Unforgiveness spawns sicknesses, especially mental ones. Move on, don't take that hate, bitterness, jealousy, and pain with you. Leave it behind.
Cheaters dont deserve forgiveness..they always think we were fool ....they think they are king or queen tht they can fool anyone and they have proud feelings such a selfishness and they karma dont hit them😖😖😖I been cheated yesterday brutally
Does a marriage have to end when an affair takes place? For me it does. It’s not just pain, it’s TRAUMATIC. It causes PTSD. What’s left? There’s no trust, no intimacy. The foundation has been swept out from underneath you. There’s nothing to stand on. The cheater should go be with those people he/she found such a *deep connection* with.
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God calls the man to love his wife unconditionally, even when she messes up. If you divorce, which God also understands, then stay divorced. But you are not to marry another person, that would be adultery on your part. The only way is to reconcile the marriage.
OKAY!!! PSSST..SOUNDED MORE LIKE A CAMPAIGN TO EXCUSE CHEATING....THEY ARE SO MUCH STRONGER..WHAT THE HELL EVER......I COULD NEVER LOOK AT THAT PERSON THE SAME...ALL I ENVISION IS HIM AND SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF ME, IN AN INTIMATE WAY JUST LIKE WITH ME...I THINK THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP THAT YOUR NOT SO SPECIAL...ANY COOT/DONG IS SPECIAL AND WORTH WHATEVER IT WAS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEAN TO EACH OTHER. i'LL SHARE FOOD, CLOTHES,..I'LL EVEN LOAN MY CAR...BUT A MAN I WILL NOT SHARE. I'D RATHER BE SINGLE.
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I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my wife . so terrible that she took the case to court to file a divorce. She said that she cannot continue to stay with me again, and she said "I don't love you anymore" So she took her things out of the house and made me and my children passed through several emotional pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back, after much begging, but all to no avail. and she confirmed it that she has made her decision, and she never wanted to see me again. So one evening, as i was coming back from work ,i meant an old friend of mine who asked of my wife .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my wife back, is to visit a prophet to know what is really behind this issue, because it has really worked for other people too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the prophet. prophetehiagwina @gmail .com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the prophet respond the following day and assured me that i will get my wife back the next day. Hopefully I believed since my friend recommended me to him, ,so we discussed and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day ,with lots of love and joy, and she apologized on her mistake ,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day ,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before ,by the help of a prophet . So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact PROPHET EHIAGWINA, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: prophetehiagwina @ gmail. com or call/whatsapp +2348139182295 prophet ehiagwina can help solve problems such as: genetic battle spell to kill or destroy your enemy spell to get a good job win lottery dealing narcissist spell Avenge someone Spell to someone and many more
Yes, what the children go from through is even more heartbreaking to witness. Healing has to take place and it’s work to insure the children are good mentally
The deal breaker is simply disease. My ex cheated and I found out he contracted and std. thankfully I did not get it but it brought me to the realization that...when a person is eager to step out and doesn’t think about protection they can end your life. The possibility of catching a disease that I cannot heal from is scary. My life is worth more.
I know of two widows in their 70s who only found out their husbands died of AIDS after their deaths. I of them is okay. The other isn't. Since I learned of that I, like you, put disease at the top of the danger list to the person they are decieving.
I’m going through this right now. I found out 6 weeks ago my spouse of 6 years was having emotional/social media affairs all the way up until the day I found out and maybe still after. I’m struggling on trying to forgive him and them. Me, him and those women all work at the same place so I’m not comfortable at work, at home or anywhere else. I have been going through so many different emotions since then. We just started therapy but I don’t know where or how to even begin to forgive. The hurt is massive and the humiliation is just as huge.
Hey, stay strong. You will make it, it's tough and will take months. I think you may eventually get to a point of not feeling so bad when you think about it but at the moment take each day as it comes and allow yourself to experience everything.
Well he married you and did not cross boundaries with any of them. So this is just an ego thing, does not seem like a big deal. I bet if he was making millions you would not even think twice about this.
@@Naija4K you’re right. Yes he did marry me but he along with them all knew he was married to me too. I’ve gone through a lot and my worst fears were confirmed a few weeks ago that it went beyond what I initially thought. This is no ego thing at all. By no means. I don’t care how much he makes disrespect, lies and deceit have no price tag. And one more thing. We both have very well paying long term careers. I’ve always had and made my own money so I could care less about his. He can take with him what he brought into this relationship.
Why are you still with someone who cheats on you? He was happy to throw away 6 years of marriage while making you the laughing stock of the office and you're happy to forgive him? 🧐 Self respect, my dear, self respect.
I never believed that forgiveness always results in restoration of a relationship. Broken trust and the lack of skills to rebuild that trust is what destroys the relationship.
@@zayworld9933 many of us are hurting, the pain caused by unfaithfulness is hard. I'm trying to heal myself and if you need a hand I'll lend it as best I can
URANIUM REAPER I appreciate that , as of right now. I’m feeling good about myself and I’ve over come the hurt and sorrow I was going through. If I could do it i know damn well each and everyone of you in these comments can... patients, pain it temporary guys ! PUSH THROUGH🩸🩹🕛💯
@@zayworld9933 I'm trying very hard to reconcile with my wife. We have been together almost a decade. I'm remaining patient and in many ways I've dealt with my feelings of myself and my inner self. She says she is committed to changing and restarting our life together. I want to believe her and I will do what I can to heal and forgive. Stay strong, I'm glad you are doing well.
I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex once, over 3 years ago. It was in a period that our relationship was very toxic (fights everyday, etc.) And he admitted there were no feelings, just lust. We've been together for a long time, and i found strength in my heart to give him another chance, and we can both grow out of this experience. But i'm having a hard time letting go of the mental image, wanting the details, etc. It still hurts and needs time to heal. But i do have hope
If you have love in your heart and soul to forgive him. As far as the mental health, it would probably be wise to get counseling. You need to recover from the situation. It happened to me. Being married for 39 years and he cheated on me! We have two grown children and five grandchildren, he almost lost it all for the affair partner. She was an old friend of ours from a long time ago. Some friend huh? My husband failed to talk to me about it and thought I didn't care or anything else. It lasted four months. I found message on his phone, and he broke it off that day. We're still working on it and I'm not so much mad as I am sad 😔. It is a process and you need help to get through the rough stuff. Good luck to you and your boyfriend.
@@gatchcat1297 thank you so much for this message, i didn't think anyone would see it and i'm so touched that you replied ❤️ i've also thought about counseling to get through this. I can't imagine what it's like to go through that after so many years of marriage. I wish you all the best and much love and luck with recovering.
My wife cheated with two men for a few months. I have been able to forgive her and move forward, even though it might be very little, but I too struggle with the mental visions of her with them sexually. I can be a typical man as to not wanting to talk about it with a counselor, but I also know that its not going to get better if I don't. Its reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one. The other aspect that I have trouble with is that she denied things all the way. I had to trick her in thinking I knew things that I didn't so she would confess. I confronted both men and got details. Not sure if that helped or not.
I find my self in the same spot, we are to get married in October... weve been together for 3 years and i recently found out hes been texting with his ex and he cheated on me with her last year... i ended things out of anger, but he begged for another chance. I told him i will give him another chance, but i jist find myself hurt and crying all the time and lashing out at him. I see him trying to fix his mistake, but the pain is there.
Lisa Godoy has he been texting her recently in addition to having cheated before? It sounds to me like its a blessing for u to have found out before u got married. Every situation is different but u potentially have the chance to cut ur losses before ur in so deep with marriage. Marriage has ups and downs so if this is the kind of person he is, it likely will happen again when a hard time comes. Be careful and think about it!!
@@aleechaadams2691 wow!....my wife chearted and I battle with it, but I want to move forward with our life, but something is stopping us from doing that!
@@bodyBYuncle OK.... that's what going on now we just can not pull it together. We have both trying and it's HARD for me and maybe him as well. 🛐ONLY GOD CAN...FROM HERE😭
What were the reasons for her infidelity? Perhaps you should try fully forgiving. If she’s truly apologetic, and the two of you are ready to move forward with your marriage, then let the past be the past. Focus on enjoying a bright future together. Now if you still can’t trust her, then you will need to be honest with yourself and prepare for divorce.
My girlfriend just confessed she was seeing and being intimite with a guy for a few weeks when we were on a break and now wants me back. It's beyond my understanding why anyone would take that person back, to actually commit an afair many things have to happen.. from a meet up, to flirting, to actually be somewhere alone and commit an act. Difficult to forgive, impossible to accept and be with that person like nothing happened.
i had the same thing happen to me man. She put me on a break but I found out from friends that she was cheating on me for weeks before the break. they committed the act twice and it’s disappointing. I’ve eventually learned to forgive, i hope you found a way to recover.
Forgiving is hard, It’s different when she not only had an affair but she hit you with blatant disrespect almost rubbing it in your face over the years but she knew you had no proof. They get bold and cocky with it.
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I have experienced a similar situation, they will regret it later, maybe not now but so much later. Karma misses no one. She was a narcissist and that is what they do.
Life is also too short thinking there is a perfect person out there. Everyone has skeletons in their closest. Its only Christ thats perfect. I will never live this life thinking people wont betray me at some point, because they will. And forgiveness will be tested. Its life.
@@mariyaa111 Its unfortunate you feel that way my friend. Study deeply before you come to a final conclusion, answers will be found. Love to you and to all that see this message.
Guys please don't let one bad thing bring down everything good you built. Mistakes happen. If your partners heart is in the right place and they realize that it was a mistake and wasn't worth it. It can become a learning experience that you make the best of. If they cheat with the heart, they're gone, don't make it hard for tou by trying to save anything. Love each other!! Stay happy!!
I agree. Corinthians teaches us this about the true meaning of love - agape love. However the problem lies when the person is repetitive in behavior and not trying to change 💯 torn between both
Once someone has cheated on you, they've exchanged DNA with another person and that foreign DNA will never go away. There have been studies on this although counterstudies funded by liberal and progressive interests try to counter these results. Your partner will never be the same after they sleep with someone else, and it is best not to take them back even if you are emotionally able to. It is good to forgive, but forgiveness doesn't mean you should let them touch you ever again.
@@Alex-pt5no The only ones who end up as incels are the ones who were ok with sloppy seconds and ended up getting an std. Nobody wants the chick who got the gift that keeps on giving. I'm not going to settle for some used up disease-ridden petri dish. Know your worth man. Don't settle for the skanky hoes.
Couldn’t pay me to sleep next to a woman after she cheats on me idc what I’ve invested house money kids idc I’m out because I firmly believe that when you love someone you would never cheat on them period. That’s not Love at all.
“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” -Johnny Depp.
Why on earth anyone would think that the person who thought it was a good idea to give in to temptation would change is beyond me. If you believe in the possibility of fixing the relationship you will actually take the first step in doing so. Cheating is not the first step in fixing anything. It is a complete lack of respect for your partner and frankly if you don't run from this person then you deserve everything that will happen going forward. You can only change yourself and to think you can change another person is nothing more than wishful thinking.
I can only talk for myself, it took 3 years to forgive and 5 years to regain trust. Even then it can only be achieved if the person that cheated shows genuine remorse, which in my case was very strong.. You will never, ever forget and why should you?
*Why not just divorce your spouse? A cheater makes a conscious decision: ‘What I’m about to do may jeopardize my trust with my partner, my relationship, but after careful consideration- I’m going to cheat because it’s worth the risk and I have my own reasons (what anyone thinks doesn’t concern me), my partner deserves me betraying them and wouldn’t understand so I’ll do it behind their back.’* *Did she forgive you move on remembering the good times (regardless of length of relationship)? One time is more than enough because cheaters made a conscious decision to betray you. You should never confront a cheater showing anger, frustration and upset because it’s meaningless; It’s only an ego stroke and laughing material for them. Cheaters don’t care what you think, how you feel or how their cheating affects you. Cheaters pretend to be remorseful when they’re caught, some will provide an Oscar worthy performance while crying saying they regret their actions. Ending a relationship with a cheater is the most unselfish thing you could ever do for someone else. It allows them to opportunity to have a clear conscience, get with others guilt free without all the misleading and sneaking around. Did I miss anything?*
The pain that he caused me I still feel it every day for the past 2 years. I said it would’ve be better if you just broke up with me since you knew what you were doing. People have feelings and he knew how emotional I am and that I was hurt a lot before. He destroyed me even more than anything. I tried to forgive and to stay together but my heart and feelings towards him weren’t the same. It made me angry, mean person towards everyone and everything. I gave up on love and relationships, I do not want to feel the same pain again.
Trust me I feel you , I’m going through a similar situation.. My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me and I found out by seeing a picture of a another woman half naked on his phone wallpaper, then I searched his phone and found out that he’s been having sex with multiple women .. he keeps begging me to forgive him and take him back but I honestly can’t because I feel so heartbroken, used and betrayed and i know if I go back to him I won’t feel the same and I’ll never trust him again . Sigh I’m sorry for the little rant 😞 but I pray you get the healing you deserve ❤️
Similar thing to me. My boyfriend had grindr and sent nuds and everything and he deleted it when I told him to, but then he redownloaded it about a month later and sent more nuds and payed for nuds. He is extremly apologetic and even asks me why I am still with him and says I should leave him. I want to forgive him and get to "paradise island" but i always want to give up and throw in the towel and get back to my life even tho its the closests relashship I have ever had in my entire life.
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@Anna Waller I say what I said from experience. Forgiving my then boyfriend now husband of 15 years of cheating ended up being the best decision I ever made in my life.Its not always the end
@@reginebarnum189 oh no ma'am. That isn't how that works. He gets a one time pass solely dependant on how he responds to your pain,and how hard he works to get your trust back. No where in the mist of that should he have time or even want to cheat again. He doesn't love you if not hurting you again isn't more important than cheating on you.
@@larandle OK, so you gave him a one time hall pass. No problem if you negotiate that up front. People can customize their relationships however it suits them. But when you say it can never happen again? Why?
Yes, you should forgive them. You should break up with them and not look back. But you should forgive for yourself because you are not truly free until you do. You deserve someone who does not cheat on you. Period. End of story.
With repeat offenders we can forgive but it’s healthier to move on instead of stick around and wait for it to happen again.Once a cheater always a cheater. No integrity no trust no relationship no marriage.Life’s too short to have to police your spouse.
@@lngwnd1 I’m decided to move forward with my divorce. The grass wasn’t so green on his side now he wasn’t his family back. I wasted my years. I’ve been with him since I was 15. I’m 30 with our 3 year old daughter. I’m done. Im asking for a healthy co parenting and now he’s flipping out because I rather move on. Pray for me please it’s scary but I’m excited for my new future. Thanks for this video.
@@Kashmere23_ Thank you for sharing because I’m going through a similar thing. I am 32 with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I just found out about 3 weeks ago that my husband of 4 years has been having an affair for a year and a half. The details of the affair are so painful for me. He is saying he wants to fight for his marriage and family. Initially I’ve said divorce was the only option now I’m grappling with staying or going. When I tried to say I was leaving initially and didn’t want to fight, just wanted to coparent. He flipped and threatened me with unreasonable custody arrangements and this and that. I know if I proceed with a divorce I will have to fight him because he so desperately doesn’t want our marriage to end. I am so hurt and confused. Sorry for the rant but I definitely can relate to you. I commend your strength in standing for yourself and your daughter.
@@ashleys.5478 Same! My husband flipped tf out!!! Threatening etc! Saying crazy things! It’s crazy. He seen I was serious about not wanting the marriage no more and now he’s content in his situation I guess. He still not agreeing to the divorce… shit scary.
It is ok for cheating to be unacceptable to you and an uncrossable boundary. We teach other people how to treat us. Couldn’t disagree with this guy more
Im currently going thru this. I got 5 kids. My wife had a short affair. I caught her, the affair is over, she's remorseful, ashamed, and regret it. Now she's trying her hardest to keep me. Phone tracking, work schedules, all information I need, goes nowhere alone, anything I need to feel secure. But idk if I can forgive. My 15 yr marriage may be over. 😥😔😞
X V Don’t focus on her. Focus on God. Remember that this life we live is for Him and not for us. I have been in your shoes. My husband was unfaithful for 7 years. I was always one to say I would end my marriage the moment infidelity played a part of my life. Truth is when we view life through our own lens, we see things from a selfish perspective; “what about me? I don’t deserve this! I loved and stayed faithful all these years, so why should I forgive?” We are to forgive the way Jesus forgives us of all our sins. When we are broken in our walk with God, we are prone to breaking all the rules. We see relationships through a distorted lens. One where we believe the other person is supposed to make us happy. Truth is, our relationship is supposed to Glorify God. It should reflect God’s love for us. When you focus on Jesus and place Him before anyone else: especially yourself, you will be set free from the lies the world has fed you. You will no longer see through a distorted lens. You will see your spouse through God’s eyes. When this happens, you will see that forgiveness comes naturally. Loving your broken spouse will be all you want to do. A love that only God provides. You will live with joy in your heart. A joy no one can ever take from you. A joy only God gives. Trust me. Put God first and you will see just how He will take the most broken and nearly impossible situation and create something so beautiful, so amazing that will only reflect His Hand. I do not walk with fear, doubt, mistrust, or anger. The reason? Because I don’t focus on my husband. I focus on God. My husband has never treated me so good. He has loved on me more than ever. He has seen God’s work through me. This is what changed his heart. We now pray together, attend church together, and work on our relationship through God. Don’t give up.
The dealmaker for forgiveness and reconciliation was when Hasani said, "we introduced God into the relationship." Unless God watches over a marriage, those who attempt to keep it pure will be doing it in vain. Unless the Lord builds a marriage, they build in vain who attempt to build. God is the copyright owner of any marriage and must be consulted for permission to establish, build and restore.
@@abuvavrage not really. David was a man after God's own heart, but we all know how things went with he and Bathsheba. Sometimes our humanity interferes with our divinity
My husband cheated on me after 16 years of being together he cheated on me with one of his co workers. Hurts so much How could he do this to me is the question that I keep asking myself over and over again like why wasn’t I enough? Even though he tells me that she was a nobody that she didn’t mean anything. How do I stop thinking about it? Everyday I think about her and him everyday like where did it happen where was I at? What did he do when he came home? All this questions and I feel like I’m going crazy I feel lost and broken how could this man that was supposed to have my back hurt me like this?
My wife decided divorce was the best option. I went to rehab and she found out to my many hookups I’m completely ashamed but she won’t even speak to me. The pain I put that woman through kills me because she was the best thing to ever happen to me.
*I’m glad you two are moving on with your lives. It’s probably best that you two went your separate ways. Is it a fair assessment that she wasn’t the best thing to happen to you and that’s why you cheated on her? Not trying to be rude.*
If some one your married to does not communicate that they are unhappy, that is their fault not yours. And when they cheat, thats unforgiveable. You can forgive that person, but do not take them back.
Well I think everything basically depends on what you really want or are looking for. Their are far better and far reliable ethical hackers out their and I feel very lucky to be able to find one of them, (spiunknown) on instagram has been a great help and lots of potential. Just ask him anything hacking related I am sure he has solution to your hacking need. you might want to copy this {spiunknown} dm on instagram now you can also contact on gmail .jordancyberhack999@gmail.com
That's a lot to go through to restore a marriage that was not honored by either partner. This couple is an extreme example. Forgiveness doesn't have to be quite that challenging... I hope people do not have to survive a near death experience in order to be intimate with their spouse!
Hell no. No forgiving, no forgetting. My ex and I knew each other in high school. We both married other people. Then I divorced my husband, his wife died. We finally got together and he told me he had waited decades for me. Then he cheated on me....with his daughter in law. Cant get much lower than that.
If the marriage partner that is unfaithful to their partner does not confess to the act, but the event did happen it leaves the door open for the event to repeat. Reconciliation can only happen when the truth of the event is confessed. So forgiveness can happen and needs to happen, but the thought of it reoccurring is always present until it is hashed out by both partners.
It’s called “cheating” because one person is cheating their way to “happiness” by using a third party. A strong work ethic is mandatory for reconciliation. I (VERY IMPORTANT “i”) found a truth in that I wasn’t the man I should have been.. so I changed that about myself. Found out a couple months later after my change (stopped smoking cigs, now jog daily, lifting, etc) that she was cheating. I tried SO HARD to have an angry reaction. But I didn’t blame her for cheating on my lame ass. Instead I said: “You fucking do it again, I chop your tits off. Now lets get the fuck off of this couch, change these babies’ diapers, and have a great day.” She, too, has followed my lifestyle change and there is not a doubt in my mind she won’t stray. And if she does, I don’t fucking care. She’s out there with rump roasts when she could be at home having this wagyu. I got shit to do, to Hell with what she’s doing. God knows where I stand. Amen.
I cried watching this. I have been cheated on and I still couldn't forgive my partner because I found it hard to forgive. I've prayed and cried so many times to God to give me peace and to help me forgive. Thank you for this. It helped a lot.
I've had a relationship of 6 years on April 20th, the woman I loved cheated on me with a man that is a Loser.. We are recovering.. theirs so much more on her part, addiction, mental health, abuse, exct... ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS.. I love her and you mentioning God is what made me believe that I was ment to see this video 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
It's been three years since I've tried to forgive my fiancee. We've been together for almost 10, and we have two young boys together... no matter how hard I try or say it out loud I can not get over it, it can change with the day or even the weather it seems. She's the only woman I've ever truly Loved, but this eats at me so much. I don't know if I even know how to forgive her, I desperately want to but my brain and heart won't soften.
*You should forgive a cheater and move on with your life. Forgiveness does not mean you have to stay. Cheaters don't have the integrity, honesty, guts or mental toughness to end a relationship before getting involved with someone else. Confronting a cheater upset or frustrated is meaningless, it's laughing material and a ego stroke to them. They're not worth your time or energy because they have to lie and mislead. If a cheater is caught they have to 'pretend' to have remorse or be sorry for their actions; some will put on displays so believable that they should be nominated for an Oscar. Ghost cheaters, go no contact and live life looking forward to the great days ahead!*
Nonsense, know your worth fellas. If you're putting the work in and the food on the table and taking care of her every need and she pulls that kinda stuff that she's not the one. Period.
Im going through the same issue and I feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest.... I don’t know what to do part of me wants to stay but I feel like a fool if I did I know time heals everything but sometimes it’s not enough to hear those words when ur going through it at the moment
I am currently going through this myself she decided that she needed space 2 years ago i knew there was someone else but she denied it and i eventually found out who he was 2 years later and i still can't get past this i try to forgive her I've even tried to be friends with her we were together for 18 years and we have 3 kids together hell it's to the point where she has lied to me so much that I'm starting to wonder if the kids are mine and I'm actually scared to get a paternity test because i wouldn't know what to do if the results came back I'm not the father i have so many trust issues i wish i could find some type of help to get over this
The couple he's describing half way through, having multiple affairs ect is not one to look to as a example of forgiveness... It's horrifically toxic!!
Sometimes we need to forgive to save the Relationship... But the thing we need to take care about is we shouldn't lose ourselves in the Process of getting back to them.
Change is good too . In my case I cheated. From us never dealing with the pain of when I did cheat . how I was being to her and not treating her right . I apologize and we are working on us everyday. I think change is good if you were the problem in the relationship . In my case, I was demanding a lot from her and telling her to change herself to become my kind of pretty instead of seeing her beauty like before when we meet. fixing yourself was needed in are relationship . I see what you mean about not losing who you are , but it’s okay to be a better person from it and give all that pain to god and let him heal that!
Maggie Taskila, thank you for saying that. I found my wife in bed getting pleasured by someone else. She knew him for a long time. I quietly closed the bedroom door so they could have privacy and we talked about it peacefully that night. She said her male friend's wife had a bad back and needed a wife until she got better. She promised not to do it again and as far as I kniw, she hasn't
Not forgiving is self protection. The afflicted has not yet healed, and does not feel safe, or secure that he/she will not be hurt again. It is not a flaw
Please, please, please, PLEASEE! To anyone watching this, that is experiencing repeated infidelity, please don’t just write it off… make sure you are not dealing with a narcissistic partner that cannot and will not change… Forgiveness is awesome and dandy, but make sure your not taking someone back that has a problem that can’t be fixed. People hide behind god everyday but still act in unholy ways. I see it ALL THE TIME! Be careful everyone! Much love and light to anyone going through hard times! ❤️
Marriage isn't hard it all depends on the person you marry I know people that have been married for 30, 40, and 50 years. Also a lot of people don't pray to God to send them their mates instead they focus on how good the sex is or how attractive the person is or if they got a good job or if they are making money. I also believe in dating a person for awhile before getting married to see if you are compatible and have the same goals and marriage commitments as well as communication which is very important, you must be able to communicate with your spouse once you stop communicating your marriage is just about over. Also the number one problem that ends marriages is Cheating and Finance I know it can be hard sometimes, but you never give up on love and marriage, so just pray to God that he sends you the right man or woman in your life.
Marriage is HARD...even a happy one...there is no manual on how to navigate all the challenges that will come your way and couples have to learn each others love language, communicate well...it is hard..
Sometimes even forgiveness does not work. I have forgiven my husband for 30 years and he still lives with his girlfriend. I have emotionally let go living separated not no longer deal with low self esteem and mental health issues. Great for those couples that can forgive and work it out. God bless them!
How powerful is that People need to know that relationship without God is destine to failure Jesus say without him we cant do nothing and when we try to do it without him the enemy of our soul will be happy to take control.....lets hope that people will learn from that experience
Marie Savannah I learnt it the hard way. I am married to an unbeliever. And I am dealing with the big hypocrit and liar I've never met. I need to rebuild my life and journey with Jesus first. And The Lord only knows what will happen. Please pray for me.
I will pray for you sister we all make mistake we all desperate for love yet its only by experiencing the love of God for ourself that we wont fall for these ungodly human love Matthew 6:33 says seek fist the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you if you do that the lord will come through remember Jesus love you more than any man can love you on this earth.here is my email ,dress if you need support Jesus_is_comingsoon@hotmail.com in our savior love Martina
I cheated on my wife when she found out she did same to me we had a very hard year we got through it it was VERY tough that I would never get through it but I felt what she felt til this day we are more closer than we ever were before been together 14 years now 👍❤️
that's reassuring to know, I cheated on my wife while out of town. I hate myself, I hate I'm ran the risk of breaking up my family. I want my wife to atleast trust me about 75-90% as much as she used to
I just got my heart broken, she cheated on me. I just shut down, she damaged me. I just told her I was not going to bring it up. Is very difficult she always said she loved me, and it took a weekend for her to break me. I'm keeping all this feelings inside, I can't even open up with no one. She was my trophy of life, I trusted her. I hope I get past this.
I like this man's views...forgiveness, healing...and a willingness to seek professional help...for both man and woman. The commentaries on these sites default to hate and revenge upon the other party...nothing good can come from such behavior. Those who have such attitudes destroy the sunlight of THEIR souls. Please remember this inescapable truth of 'relationship, when considering these unintended , inevitable consequences. Thank you, and subscribed. PS: please look to examples of long-married men and women and their stories of recovery as married couples.
I’m struggling with forgiveness and feelings because, not only did he cheat, he also lied several times when confronted. How can I move of from all that on top of the cheating?
An affair may look charming and exciting but what it really brings is a tumultuous of disasters one after the other. It will bring ANXIETY, CHAOS, , SADNESS, ANGER, DEPRESSION. all the negative things that the devil represents. These feelings bring about disease . One the other side of unfaithfulness is a life of peace. when you respect the sanctity of marriage, there is Togetherness. Security. Joy. In your life. No matter what the outside would gives you. If there is boredom, it is much easier to fix it, than dealing with the repercussions of an affair. The devil is good at deceiving us into thinking that these disastrous things are interesting and fun. But in reality, It brings chaos to both lives. Broken homes. Broken people. It is obvious in the lives of those who have been through it. Take your marriage seriously. It brings about a better world, better children. Stop allowing the devil to tempt you into thinking you will have a better life. It’s a lie. This is what the devil is good at.
You couldn't of said it better. Adultery causes so much pain and has eternal consequences. It is true that the devil will lure you into a lie. Like the apple at the garden of eden. He told Eve they would be like god and they would not die and of course the apple looked nice and shiny. Probably even tasted delicious. Well, thanks to that now we are all sinners by nature.
It’s just the attraction!! That’s normal but to act on it is where you need to stop and think a minute about all that could be lost and will be DEFINITELY!
I cheated back and I felt better. I know they say that cheating back is bad but living with the fact your were cheated on and stay in the marriage is worst. I felt validated after my affair, then I forgave him because we were even
@@pittleague though it can sometimes play out that way.. Someone who truly believes that statement is foolish & lacks understanding of the foundation of marriage.
Forgiveness is easy, but when it happens unexpectedly from a church, that is hard to take in. I have forgiven her but cannot forget the act. It is time to move on and be aware of particular relationship not to get into. We communicate as associates; however, it can never be the same.
Yes more wives are cheating now. There's less of a stigma it seems . Couples r accepting poor quality relationships as if the norm, instead of building the marriage like a project. I feel the church has failed marriage by not being enough of a support
Just found out my ex was seeing another woman for 5 months. This is very painful. I don’t understand why he did it but I forgave him and let him go. I still have love for him but The deception is too much for me and I needed to leave.
This man said “un forgiveness destroys the relationship” it’s the cheating, selfishness, lying & betrayal that destroys it.
I agree that unforgivness will ruin the relationship because the back and forth will make you both miserable until he’s ready to leave just so you can maybe heal.
Facts
This is why some people are letting people just betray them like nothing and you have to beg for love f that just move on I'm in the middle of this and the only thing i wanted was to make my person happy that's it
Doesn’t that make it hurt even more?💔😕
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. People commit infidelity for many reasons, none ok but still requires independent analysis. That being said, you may not cheat but you have lied, stolen, lusted after another, maybe in movies or real life. You have blasphemed God's name (for Christians) or gossipped or slandered another.
So what does this mean? Simply put some cheat and feel bad enough about it to do anything to change and get a second chance, while others cheat and feel no guilt.
One deserves forgiveness and guidance, the other deserves non commitment.
If we cannot forgive the failings of another then we don't deserve forgiveness for ours. None of us are perfect.
And forgiving doesn't mean you have to stay 💯
@@rubenthompson5900 That isn't true though. Forgiveness doesn't equate to reconciliation at all. Forgiveness is for the person whose been wronged so that they have the strength to move on. I forgave my ex not for him, but for me. I dumped him after he cheated because I believe that if he'll do it once, then he'll do it again. Therefore I forgave him but we did not reconcile.
@@rubenthompson5900 you dumb as hell....
I agree with JANAE
love, cleo it pains me to see comments like this. There is zero tolerance for “cheaters”. As believers other sins should be met with the same contempt. One sin isn’t greater than the other as all sin is met with the same consequence. Judgment and Death by the Almighty God. I forgive but pray to God to give me the heart that Jesus had for sinners because He commands us to love the Lord our God with all our mind, soul strength and then to love our neighbors.
Idk. Honestly I have a lot of heart so I’m not very quick to judge or call someone a serial “cheater” without examining the truth.
We all fall short of the glory of God and the moment you think for a second that someone’s wrongdoings is worse than the little white lie you told yesterday. You’re only deceiving yourself. Let’s pray fervently and recognize that all sin is grossly detested by our Lord and only Jesus can truly help us with our unrepentant hearts.
Excellent Video! Excuse me for butting in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you ever tried - Millawdon Closeness Knowledge Trick (should be on google have a look)? It is a good one of a kind guide for getting to know your partner and improve your relationship minus the normal expense. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my mate after a lifetime of fighting got amazing results with it.
I forgave him, packed his bags and said goodbye. I never looked back and I never blamed myself.
I am with you, packed my bags and took her to the man's house 🏠🙃..She is still mad today but I never looked back... Because God is good all the time....
@Pamela Williams
Good for you. He cheated, not you. All the best!
I wish the type of strength for all people being cheated on
That’s well said. Forgiveness is just an overused term. Too overused.
"I forgive you, now GTFO of my life" the best answer lol.
My ex-husband cheated on me I found out when I was pregnant with my third child. It was hard! I was on an emotional roller coaster. I filed for a divorce shortly after I give birth. I suffered from postpartum depression and then found out this was a three years affair. Love yourselves enough to walk away.💯 Cheating is emotional abuse there's no way you can truly love someone to hurt them so badly. Cheaters are selfish individuals. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to stay. Sometimes, you have to disconnect from the person to stop the pain and find peace.
Damn. That is painful!
You're right ! Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to stay. Moses actually says this is the only reason that you can get out of marriage. After the trust is gone, after the betrayal and pain ! It's hard to look at that person the way you did before, their spirit becomes ugly !
Your are so strong.
Thanks.You are talking to me
I agree forgiving doesn’t mean stay or continue a relationship.. nor does it equal trust. Those are separate things. I truly believe you cannot heal in the same place you were broken. I left and filed for separation. When my husband decided to step out on our marriage for a 6week affair. My testimony is we separated for over a year. But we all sought counseling and he fought to get his family back. We are still a work in process. One thing I did learn through this. Is always choose you and make others respect your boundaries.
I'm working through this mess now, there is nothing like getting your heart ripped out by the one who supposedly loves you more than anything or anyone else in the world
Just walk away, problem solved
Going through same, hows going with u now
@@abhinaydhotre4687 It's a long road
How about shes pregnant
@@unknownvlogger6012 how about it’s not yours
I divorced my ex wife. You can forgive her, but love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. Luckily, we didnt have kids together. But choosing to divorce is more difficult when children are going to be affected.
Yep I have kids and I'm torn completely
@@manjotsingh4834 heart goes to u bro. Be strong and happy.
@@DineshBhatia Thank You brother. May the blessings of the almighty be with you.
@@manjotsingh4834 hello! I’m curious how it’s been on your journey? I’m currently going through this with kids and can’t decide what to do… any advice?
I hear that. My wife and I have kids and now she wants to file for divorce to leave with the other guy
Unless you walk in someone else's shoes, you have no idea.
Try Thinking For a change wow! Like your comment...this is what I always say...
true
Try Thinking For a change
This is just superb, I have been researching "healing from an affair by doug and linda" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my partner got great results with it.
This is just superb, been searching for "relationships after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my cousin got amazing success with it.
Tupac once said "Just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table."
So forgive but don't forget, learn from it and don't look back until you find peace.
Powerful
@@liss8751 1 Corinthians 13:5 Love Keeps no record of wrongs.
Remember and Recover
Very profound! I’m going to reuse this!
You must be honest with yourself and truly heal in order for a relationship to truly work. Forgive or you will stay broken. I never though I could heal but I did with Gods help. If you allow God into your life, ANYTHING is possible!
How’s your relationship now?
@@Cryptosifu better than it ever has.
@@melissacampbell1716 is your husband a believer as well?...born again ?
@@CHRISTChrysalisInManhaim yes. He's been struggling but he's found his way back to God
Thank you
I'll never understand how someone can tell you they know how much they have hurt you and how much they are ashamed, how much they love you but on the flip side of the coin they continue to do that which causes the most pain.
And that's the thing when you stay, you never really know if they truly stopped the affair or not.😔
Guys and gals, if someone cheats, they had time to think about it, it was planned...when you catch them....run and dont look back....love yourself and find someone that truly loves you....
alma mía 22 what about if you have kids to consider but I want to run and never look back😁😀
Rose Marilou Hello,
This is always a difficult decision. It all depends on your situation. Finances and emotional trauma are certainly at play in these situations. But I believe doing the right thing is the best example for children.
Obviously i'm here because of a similar issue... @alma What would be the right thing? This guy explained we need to forgive, but didn't explain HOW to forgive...
But when You have kids...
Poisonous word Alma. Whoa, your name is Soul and your advice will lead to killing your soul. Take it easy, this man is preaching. If you are looking at these videos then you are experiencing this or have experienced this and are a person in need. If you are hear then listen - and don’t harden your heart. Do what you need to do and forgive. Only a true women and man of Christ can forgive and understand what it is to forgive. If you don’t try - then God has yet to strive in you.
It's hard to forgive someone who never ask for forgiveness
Yolanda brook.... Forgive is not about them. It's all about you letting go of all the hurt and pain another has caused you.
Like my husband whose been cheating on me and our kids for over 15 years
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@@juliana1672 so you're telling you are getting fooled by over 15 years
If I came to know if my wife was cheating over 5 years I would be ashamed of myself and blame me to be fooled and might destroy myself only
@@yolandabrook3663 forgiveness is a personal choice. Has nothing to do with If they ask or not. If someone owes you money and never asks to be forgiven of said debt, you can easily say, “you know what, don’t worry about it.” When Jesus died on the Cross he forgave his attackers and they didn’t ask.
I can tell from the comments that people have forgotten who God is, that He's the restorer, He makes things new but I do get where the hurt is coming from and how we would be hurt even more to become vulnerable again. It sucks
👆🏻 👆🏻
name above got me full access to my partner's cellphone
@garethsimpson7953 how?
@@angiemims9746 its a scam, dont do it
I've been married for 30 years and we established this one rule 32 years ago, and that rule is no friendships with the opposite sex no female friendships for me and no male friends for her. Because when you start giving any kind of one on one time and intimacy to someone outside of your marriage you start down the road to divorce. People need to understand the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Loving someone means making sacrifices for them and being selfless for them. Being in love with someone requires no sacrifices and is fueled by pure selfishness because it's all about how the other person makes you feel. Fellas never give another woman your wife's time and intimacy. Ladies never give another man your husband's time and intimacy.
So you guys have no friends or just stay friends with couples ?
So true
@@sheskates6551 They are friends with people of the same gender as them....
this only is needed if you cant control yourself among the opposite gender, else if you have grown up with opposite gender, you will not feel like this...
@@osirusj275 i have 5 sisters 12 aunts and over 50 female cousins so I've always been around women since birth and have plenty of self control and never had a problem with female friends but that's not how women are built especially if all your female friends are beautiful. You see me and my wife once thought we could have close friends of the opposite sex but found out the hard way during the 8th year of our marriage when we were having issues and she confided in her best friend who'd she been friends with since the 4th grade and he professed his undying love for her and I went to my female friend which nearly lead to the end of our marriage and our parents warned both us but we didn't listen because times had changed but they were right people don't. But like my grandfather says keep on living and thinking that way and you'll find out sooner or later.
Never forgive an affair. It’s not only about the affair. It’s about lying,deceit and selfishness day after day. You can never have trust again under those circumstances. It’s just time to move on. Find someone trustworthy who wants and deserves you.
Agree!
“Never Forgive” You’re obviously not Christian.
I forgave my wife for cheating but I couldn't get over all the deceit, lying and the fact that she was friend with her lover's wife and they used to come to our house, or she used to go to their house pretending to be her friend while sleeping with her husband for years, or the guy coming to my house seating at my kitchen table. So trust is lost for ever , finally somebody saw them entering a hotel and told the guy's wife and he told her who his lover was, so yeah he threw her under the bus, so she had to come clean, not but choice,...I really think the only regret she had was getting caught.
I am all for forgiving, I forgave him bc he doesn’t deserve my time or energy, no need to say, I closed the door to be even fiends. Who can trust again? Only a codependent. Not me.
and they cheat on the whole Family Unit.
Absolutely DO NOT stay with that person. Have some dignity for a change.
That’s not dignity. Thats cowardess. Staying is the brave choice, assuming they actually change and feel remorse
That’s not dignity. Thats cowardess. Staying is the brave choice, assuming they actually change and feel remorse
@@joshuaamoroso4809let me guess you are a cheater and you think your partner should stay with you despite the fact you cheated.
@@joshuaamoroso4809is cowardness and pridefulness
Sorry I have to disagree.. my ex wife cheated and took my kids. 23yrs of marriage down the drain. There’s no way I’m returning back. I cried and mourned the death of my marriage and cried every night for a year and a half and lived in my truck.. built myself back got my relationship back with my kids but I want nothing to do with my ex.. I’m good on her.
Cheating is a deal breaker. It hurts so many
Christine Hartfield, I agree, but I found my wife in bed getting pleasured by someone else. I quietly closed the bedroom door so they could have privacy and we talked about it peacefully that night. Her male friend's wife had a bad back and needed a wife until she got better. As far as I know, she never did it again.
This is glorious, I been tryin to find out about "couples survive infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my friend got great results with it.
@@sweety4271984 I think he's trolling...I hope he's trolling...but if he isn't then God should let this man right into Heaven when he dies because that takes alot to get over.
@@devinewynder5443 I think he is trolling I guess. Yh he better be
You should consider that if you feel the need to spy on your spouse, and you’re not overreacting, perhaps you are in an untrustworthy marriage, that should be dissolved.
Cheating is painful, I once said if I would be betrayed I would never stay in the relationship. I was betrayed and still stayed with my partner of 19 years but found out she did it again. Ive been seperated for three months and not planning to get back with her since she thinks that I will forgive her again. Once a serial cheater always a serial cheater.
Yes... Breaks the heart. Most painful thing to be betrayed by someone you care about... In a physical way of betrayal.. Like your not good enough for them
Exactly what happen to me
Ouh Luis. That sounds awful. How are you now?? I’m going pass through the same thing. My partner just cheated on me. I thought the same thing that i would never accept something like that but the 2nd chances exists. The therapist that i have been hearing mentioned that if you agree to give a 2nd also you accept it could be a 2nd one. What happened to you the 2nd time you found it after 19 years? What did you felt) Your history it’s very meaningful, what did you advice after your experience? I apologise if I’m invasive and you did need to reply me. I just want to tell you that you were very courageous and i hope your heart is better now and all the pain you felt you were able to transform it into wisdom.
Agreed 💯- happened in my marriage. He just got more secretive- I just cannot trust him although I forgave him for being caught in a vicious of a lustful spirit. This is very dangerous
Trying my best to fix my relationship after getting cheated on. It’s tough man hope you’re doing better brotha
I can't stay with someone who betrayed me. I tried but i was only miserable at trying. I'm better off starting a new life with someone else.
That person is now a stranger, you don't know them anymore. You might aswell find a completely new person who has not done that to you.
Cheating is not a mistake. It is a character flaw.
I forgave, but I sure as hell didn’t take him back.
Even God approves of divorce concerning infidelity
@@bernardlartims9114 amen
My boyfriend cheated on me in a long distance relationship with the same girl twice. Would you take him back in the future. If he learned his lesson and knows better. It's put me through a lot of pain, but maybe in the future I could give him a third chance but what do you guys think?
Very smart.staying will only make you grow out of love,become old and bitter
@weee wooo how would he learn his lesson if you take him back? What lesson would have been learned? Only to give you time to get over it.. nah, the only chance of learning a lesson these men/women have is if they actually lose you.. then maybe they’ll learn, but you won’t know because you have moved on.
I can forgive, forget, and move forward. I'm not staying!
Can you really forget tho ? Well that's if u don't decide to stay.
But moving forward is just the way to go
@@bernardlartims9114 Yes I can forget! I'm so different. I put things in the back of my mind like it didn't happen. However, that's because I won't allow my peace to be broken.
Forgive, life is too short. Unforgiveness spawns sicknesses, especially mental ones. Move on, don't take that hate, bitterness, jealousy, and pain with you. Leave it behind.
skynard83 you can forgive and still move on. I’ve forgiven my ex for everything he’s done but I’m also not going to take him back either.
MOST DEFINITELY...RIGHT ALONG WITH THE COMMUNITYDONG/COOT...IT ALL IS LEFT BEHIND.
Cheaters dont deserve forgiveness..they always think we were fool ....they think they are king or queen tht they can fool anyone and they have proud feelings such a selfishness and they karma dont hit them😖😖😖I been cheated yesterday brutally
How do you let go it’s so hard
Yes u are right
GOD is definitely helping me to forgive & heal and continue to move forward with my marriage day by day 🙏🙏🙏 💯💯💯
Does a marriage have to end when an affair takes place?
For me it does.
It’s not just pain, it’s TRAUMATIC. It causes PTSD.
What’s left?
There’s no trust, no intimacy.
The foundation has been swept out from underneath you. There’s nothing to stand on.
The cheater should go be with those people he/she found such a *deep connection* with.
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I agree
Yes, the cheater deserves his/her own misery staying with the lovers.
God calls the man to love his wife unconditionally, even when she messes up. If you divorce, which God also understands, then stay divorced. But you are not to marry another person, that would be adultery on your part. The only way is to reconcile the marriage.
4:23 he forgot to mention the impact of betrayal on children and the rest of the family.
OKAY!!! PSSST..SOUNDED MORE LIKE A CAMPAIGN TO EXCUSE CHEATING....THEY ARE SO MUCH STRONGER..WHAT THE HELL EVER......I COULD NEVER LOOK AT THAT PERSON THE SAME...ALL I ENVISION IS HIM AND SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF ME, IN AN INTIMATE WAY JUST LIKE WITH ME...I THINK THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP THAT YOUR NOT SO SPECIAL...ANY COOT/DONG IS SPECIAL AND WORTH WHATEVER IT WAS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEAN TO EACH OTHER. i'LL SHARE FOOD, CLOTHES,..I'LL EVEN LOAN MY CAR...BUT A MAN I WILL NOT SHARE. I'D RATHER BE SINGLE.
After several fight and arguments between me and my husband, I finally hack my husband cell phone and link his social media account with mine, so i can now see all my husband chat and messages right away from my phone, without his knowledge. All thanks to this great hacker who helped me you can contact him *Crystal_hackers* or on WhatsApp +44 7520 648089
I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my wife . so terrible that she took the case to court to file a divorce. She said that she cannot continue to stay with me again, and she said "I don't love you anymore" So she took her things out of the house and made me and my children passed through several emotional pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back, after much begging, but all to no avail. and she confirmed it that she has made her decision, and she never wanted to see me again. So one evening, as i was coming back from work ,i meant an old friend of mine who asked of my wife .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my wife back, is to visit a prophet to know what is really behind this issue, because it has really worked for other people too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the prophet. prophetehiagwina @gmail .com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the prophet respond the following day and assured me that i will get my wife back the next day. Hopefully I believed since my friend recommended me to him, ,so we discussed and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day ,with lots of love and joy, and she apologized on her mistake ,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day ,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before ,by the help of a prophet . So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact PROPHET EHIAGWINA, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: prophetehiagwina @ gmail. com or call/whatsapp +2348139182295
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Yes, what the children go from through is even more heartbreaking to witness. Healing has to take place and it’s work to insure the children are good mentally
The deal breaker is simply disease. My ex cheated and I found out he contracted and std. thankfully I did not get it but it brought me to the realization that...when a person is eager to step out and doesn’t think about protection they can end your life. The possibility of catching a disease that I cannot heal from is scary. My life is worth more.
I know of two widows in their 70s who only found out their husbands died of AIDS after their deaths. I of them is okay. The other isn't. Since I learned of that I, like you, put disease at the top of the danger list to the person they are decieving.
when he said intimacy INTO ME SEE my mind was blown. gosh damn
Should watch that Austin powers guru movie - he says “Into me I see”
I’m going through this right now. I found out 6 weeks ago my spouse of 6 years was having emotional/social media affairs all the way up until the day I found out and maybe still after. I’m struggling on trying to forgive him and them. Me, him and those women all work at the same place so I’m not comfortable at work, at home or anywhere else. I have been going through so many different emotions since then. We just started therapy but I don’t know where or how to even begin to forgive. The hurt is massive and the humiliation is just as huge.
Hey, stay strong. You will make it, it's tough and will take months. I think you may eventually get to a point of not feeling so bad when you think about it but at the moment take each day as it comes and allow yourself to experience everything.
Well he married you and did not cross boundaries with any of them. So this is just an ego thing, does not seem like a big deal. I bet if he was making millions you would not even think twice about this.
@@Naija4K you’re right. Yes he did marry me but he along with them all knew he was married to me too. I’ve gone through a lot and my worst fears were confirmed a few weeks ago that it went beyond what I initially thought. This is no ego thing at all. By no means. I don’t care how much he makes disrespect, lies and deceit have no price tag. And one more thing. We both have very well paying long term careers. I’ve always had and made my own money so I could care less about his. He can take with him what he brought into this relationship.
Why are you still with someone who cheats on you? He was happy to throw away 6 years of marriage while making you the laughing stock of the office and you're happy to forgive him? 🧐 Self respect, my dear, self respect.
@@Naija4K An emotional affair IS a crossing of boundaries...🤡
I never believed that forgiveness always results in restoration of a relationship.
Broken trust and the lack of skills to rebuild that trust is what destroys the relationship.
Agreed. Forgiveness can also mean moving on without leaving any hatred, it's about freeing yourself from negative feedback loop
I agree
I agree
I agree
It hard to trust when they lie so much Jesus help me to move forward🙏🏽
Kentavious Davidson how you feeling as of today ? I’m hurting ..
I agree 😣
@@zayworld9933 many of us are hurting, the pain caused by unfaithfulness is hard. I'm trying to heal myself and if you need a hand I'll lend it as best I can
URANIUM REAPER I appreciate that , as of right now. I’m feeling good about myself and I’ve over come the hurt and sorrow I was going through. If I could do it i know damn well each and everyone of you in these comments can... patients, pain it temporary guys ! PUSH THROUGH🩸🩹🕛💯
@@zayworld9933 I'm trying very hard to reconcile with my wife. We have been together almost a decade. I'm remaining patient and in many ways I've dealt with my feelings of myself and my inner self. She says she is committed to changing and restarting our life together. I want to believe her and I will do what I can to heal and forgive. Stay strong, I'm glad you are doing well.
I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex once, over 3 years ago. It was in a period that our relationship was very toxic (fights everyday, etc.) And he admitted there were no feelings, just lust. We've been together for a long time, and i found strength in my heart to give him another chance, and we can both grow out of this experience. But i'm having a hard time letting go of the mental image, wanting the details, etc. It still hurts and needs time to heal. But i do have hope
If you have love in your heart and soul to forgive him. As far as the mental health, it would probably be wise to get counseling. You need to recover from the situation. It happened to me. Being married for 39 years and he cheated on me! We have two grown children and five grandchildren, he almost lost it all for the affair partner. She was an old friend of ours from a long time ago. Some friend huh? My husband failed to talk to me about it and thought I didn't care or anything else. It lasted four months. I found message on his phone, and he broke it off that day. We're still working on it and I'm not so much mad as I am sad 😔. It is a process and you need help to get through the rough stuff. Good luck to you and your boyfriend.
@@gatchcat1297 thank you so much for this message, i didn't think anyone would see it and i'm so touched that you replied ❤️ i've also thought about counseling to get through this. I can't imagine what it's like to go through that after so many years of marriage. I wish you all the best and much love and luck with recovering.
My wife cheated with two men for a few months. I have been able to forgive her and move forward, even though it might be very little, but I too struggle with the mental visions of her with them sexually. I can be a typical man as to not wanting to talk about it with a counselor, but I also know that its not going to get better if I don't. Its reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one. The other aspect that I have trouble with is that she denied things all the way. I had to trick her in thinking I knew things that I didn't so she would confess. I confronted both men and got details. Not sure if that helped or not.
I find my self in the same spot, we are to get married in October... weve been together for 3 years and i recently found out hes been texting with his ex and he cheated on me with her last year... i ended things out of anger, but he begged for another chance. I told him i will give him another chance, but i jist find myself hurt and crying all the time and lashing out at him. I see him trying to fix his mistake, but the pain is there.
Lisa Godoy has he been texting her recently in addition to having cheated before? It sounds to me like its a blessing for u to have found out before u got married. Every situation is different but u potentially have the chance to cut ur losses before ur in so deep with marriage. Marriage has ups and downs so if this is the kind of person he is, it likely will happen again when a hard time comes. Be careful and think about it!!
Yes definitely forgive yourself and your significant other.. And Get Away from them . Move on. It just 99% never will have trust again nor work out.
et 1
I have no TRUST AT ALL FOR MY HUSBAND....NONE.
@@aleechaadams2691 wow!....my wife chearted and I battle with it, but I want to move forward with our life, but something is stopping us from doing that!
@@bodyBYuncle OK.... that's what going on now we just can not pull it together. We have both trying and it's HARD for me and maybe him as well.
🛐ONLY GOD CAN...FROM HERE😭
What were the reasons for her infidelity? Perhaps you should try fully forgiving. If she’s truly apologetic, and the two of you are ready to move forward with your marriage, then let the past be the past. Focus on enjoying a bright future together. Now if you still can’t trust her, then you will need to be honest with yourself and prepare for divorce.
My girlfriend just confessed she was seeing and being intimite with a guy for a few weeks when we were on a break and now wants me back. It's beyond my understanding why anyone would take that person back, to actually commit an afair many things have to happen.. from a meet up, to flirting, to actually be somewhere alone and commit an act. Difficult to forgive, impossible to accept and be with that person like nothing happened.
Please don’t go back to her😢😢😢it will ruin you. You deserve better than a cheating girlfriend
i had the same thing happen to me man. She put me on a break but I found out from friends that she was cheating on me for weeks before the break. they committed the act twice and it’s disappointing. I’ve eventually learned to forgive, i hope you found a way to recover.
Forgiving is hard, It’s different when she not only had an affair but she hit you with blatant disrespect almost rubbing it in your face over the years but she knew you had no proof. They get bold and cocky with it.
This is glorious, I have been researching "healing yourself after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? Ive heard some awesome things about it and my partner got great success with it.
I swear to god bro that be hurting my soul
I have experienced a similar situation, they will regret it later, maybe not now but so much later. Karma misses no one. She was a narcissist and that is what they do.
Sad af.
🔥MOVE ON.Trust once broken can never been restored. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE LIVED IN DOUBT🔥
Life is also too short thinking there is a perfect person out there. Everyone has skeletons in their closest. Its only Christ thats perfect. I will never live this life thinking people wont betray me at some point, because they will. And forgiveness will be tested. Its life.
With God changes everything
No it does not. That is all on your mind my friend.
@GodLoveFreedom 🤗
@@mariyaa111 Its unfortunate you feel that way my friend. Study deeply before you come to a final conclusion, answers will be found. Love to you and to all that see this message.
Amen! Through God we can do great things, but without we shall falter. This is the truth.
Guys please don't let one bad thing bring down everything good you built. Mistakes happen. If your partners heart is in the right place and they realize that it was a mistake and wasn't worth it. It can become a learning experience that you make the best of. If they cheat with the heart, they're gone, don't make it hard for tou by trying to save anything. Love each other!! Stay happy!!
I agree. Corinthians teaches us this about the true meaning of love - agape love. However the problem lies when the person is repetitive in behavior and not trying to change 💯 torn between both
An amazing speaker and healer, protect this brother.
Once someone has cheated on you, they've exchanged DNA with another person and that foreign DNA will never go away. There have been studies on this although counterstudies funded by liberal and progressive interests try to counter these results. Your partner will never be the same after they sleep with someone else, and it is best not to take them back even if you are emotionally able to. It is good to forgive, but forgiveness doesn't mean you should let them touch you ever again.
Rightly said
This is honestly the most incel comment I’ve seen on the internet
@@Alex-pt5no The only ones who end up as incels are the ones who were ok with sloppy seconds and ended up getting an std. Nobody wants the chick who got the gift that keeps on giving. I'm not going to settle for some used up disease-ridden petri dish. Know your worth man. Don't settle for the skanky hoes.
That how it feels like yuck you’re not the same person any more don’t touch me
Couldn’t pay me to sleep next to a woman after she cheats on me idc what I’ve invested house money kids idc I’m out because I firmly believe that when you love someone you would never cheat on them period. That’s not Love at all.
“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” -Johnny Depp.
Wow. I feel you. So much strength. Jesus walked 3 years with his betrayer....now his strength led to my salvation.
So true
Why on earth anyone would think that the person who thought it was a good idea to give in to temptation would change is beyond me. If you believe in the possibility of fixing the relationship you will actually take the first step in doing so. Cheating is not the first step in fixing anything. It is a complete lack of respect for your partner and frankly if you don't run from this person then you deserve everything that will happen going forward. You can only change yourself and to think you can change another person is nothing more than wishful thinking.
I can only talk for myself, it took 3 years to forgive and 5 years to regain trust. Even then it can only be achieved if the person that cheated shows genuine remorse, which in my case was very strong.. You will never, ever forget and why should you?
*Why not just divorce your spouse? A cheater makes a conscious decision: ‘What I’m about to do may jeopardize my trust with my partner, my relationship, but after careful consideration- I’m going to cheat because it’s worth the risk and I have my own reasons (what anyone thinks doesn’t concern me), my partner deserves me betraying them and wouldn’t understand so I’ll do it behind their back.’*
*Did she forgive you move on remembering the good times (regardless of length of relationship)? One time is more than enough because cheaters made a conscious decision to betray you. You should never confront a cheater showing anger, frustration and upset because it’s meaningless; It’s only an ego stroke and laughing material for them. Cheaters don’t care what you think, how you feel or how their cheating affects you. Cheaters pretend to be remorseful when they’re caught, some will provide an Oscar worthy performance while crying saying they regret their actions. Ending a relationship with a cheater is the most unselfish thing you could ever do for someone else. It allows them to opportunity to have a clear conscience, get with others guilt free without all the misleading and sneaking around. Did I miss anything?*
In my case my husband has no single remorse n they have continued with the other women and they have a child ….
Pls can I speak with you. I already gave some questions.
You have no idea how much this video has changed my life. Thank you
The pain that he caused me I still feel it every day for the past 2 years. I said it would’ve be better if you just broke up with me since you knew what you were doing. People have feelings and he knew how emotional I am and that I was hurt a lot before. He destroyed me even more than anything. I tried to forgive and to stay together but my heart and feelings towards him weren’t the same. It made me angry, mean person towards everyone and everything. I gave up on love and relationships, I do not want to feel the same pain again.
Trust me I feel you , I’m going through a similar situation.. My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me and I found out by seeing a picture of a another woman half naked on his phone wallpaper, then I searched his phone and found out that he’s been having sex with multiple women .. he keeps begging me to forgive him and take him back but I honestly can’t because I feel so heartbroken, used and betrayed and i know if I go back to him I won’t feel the same and I’ll never trust him again . Sigh I’m sorry for the little rant 😞 but I pray you get the healing you deserve ❤️
Similar thing to me. My boyfriend had grindr and sent nuds and everything and he deleted it when I told him to, but then he redownloaded it about a month later and sent more nuds and payed for nuds. He is extremly apologetic and even asks me why I am still with him and says I should leave him. I want to forgive him and get to "paradise island" but i always want to give up and throw in the towel and get back to my life even tho its the closests relashship I have ever had in my entire life.
When God is put in the equation then everything will work for good and there will be true healing. Aman.
Yes, aman. AMAN for you too.
Healing is what I need....from GOD
she was always coming home drunk and late? definitely she keeps bad friends.
so i hired a professional hacker to Keeps tabs on my wife mobile phone remotely and he gave me complete access to her mobile device without she knowing shes been hacked. his the best check him on Instagram @westhack000
Keep on Believing that ok!
Ani Yee no he’s not, if was there he would have stopped it in the 1st place
It happens. It's about getting to the root of why it happened. Getting past it and knowing it can never happened again.
Sexy Loving Him amen 🙏🏽
@Anna Waller I say what I said from experience. Forgiving my then boyfriend now husband of 15 years of cheating ended up being the best decision I ever made in my life.Its not always the end
What if you get to the root and have an understanding and then they continue to keep cheating
@@reginebarnum189 oh no ma'am. That isn't how that works.
He gets a one time pass solely dependant on how he responds to your pain,and how hard he works to get your trust back.
No where in the mist of that should he have time or even want to cheat again.
He doesn't love you if not hurting you again isn't more important than cheating on you.
@@larandle OK, so you gave him a one time hall pass. No problem if you negotiate that up front. People can customize their relationships however it suits them. But when you say it can never happen again? Why?
Yes, you should forgive them. You should break up with them and not look back. But you should forgive for yourself because you are not truly free until you do. You deserve someone who does not cheat on you. Period. End of story.
With repeat offenders we can forgive but it’s healthier to move on instead of stick around and wait for it to happen again.Once a cheater always a cheater. No integrity no trust no relationship no marriage.Life’s too short to have to police your spouse.
The first three minutes hit me like a train… that’s happening to me now… I’m here to heal to move forward either with my marriage or not.
I feel you. & I'm with you
@@lngwnd1 I’m decided to move forward with my divorce. The grass wasn’t so green on his side now he wasn’t his family back. I wasted my years. I’ve been with him since I was 15. I’m 30 with our 3 year old daughter. I’m done. Im asking for a healthy co parenting and now he’s flipping out because I rather move on. Pray for me please it’s scary but I’m excited for my new future. Thanks for this video.
@@Kashmere23_ 🙏🏾🧘🏾🧠🫀🦴
@@Kashmere23_ Thank you for sharing because I’m going through a similar thing. I am 32 with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I just found out about 3 weeks ago that my husband of 4 years has been having an affair for a year and a half. The details of the affair are so painful for me. He is saying he wants to fight for his marriage and family. Initially I’ve said divorce was the only option now I’m grappling with staying or going. When I tried to say I was leaving initially and didn’t want to fight, just wanted to coparent. He flipped and threatened me with unreasonable custody arrangements and this and that. I know if I proceed with a divorce I will have to fight him because he so desperately doesn’t want our marriage to end. I am so hurt and confused. Sorry for the rant but I definitely can relate to you. I commend your strength in standing for yourself and your daughter.
@@ashleys.5478 Same! My husband flipped tf out!!! Threatening etc! Saying crazy things! It’s crazy. He seen I was serious about not wanting the marriage no more and now he’s content in his situation I guess. He still not agreeing to the divorce… shit scary.
It is ok for cheating to be unacceptable to you and an uncrossable boundary. We teach other people how to treat us. Couldn’t disagree with this guy more
Im currently going thru this. I got 5 kids. My wife had a short affair. I caught her, the affair is over, she's remorseful, ashamed, and regret it. Now she's trying her hardest to keep me. Phone tracking, work schedules, all information I need, goes nowhere alone, anything I need to feel secure. But idk if I can forgive. My 15 yr marriage may be over. 😥😔😞
We all need forgiveness. Look how many times we sin and it hurts God look at how many times we betray him. He forgives us when we ask him too.
X V Don’t focus on her. Focus on God. Remember that this life we live is for Him and not for us. I have been in your shoes. My husband was unfaithful for 7 years. I was always one to say I would end my marriage the moment infidelity played a part of my life. Truth is when we view life through our own lens, we see things from a selfish perspective; “what about me? I don’t deserve this! I loved and stayed faithful all these years, so why should I forgive?” We are to forgive the way Jesus forgives us of all our sins. When we are broken in our walk with God, we are prone to breaking all the rules. We see relationships through a distorted lens. One where we believe the other person is supposed to make us happy. Truth is, our relationship is supposed to Glorify God. It should reflect God’s love for us. When you focus on Jesus and place Him before anyone else: especially yourself, you will be set free from the lies the world has fed you. You will no longer see through a distorted lens. You will see your spouse through God’s eyes. When this happens, you will see that forgiveness comes naturally. Loving your broken spouse will be all you want to do. A love that only God provides. You will live with joy in your heart. A joy no one can ever take from you. A joy only God gives. Trust me. Put God first and you will see just how He will take the most broken and nearly impossible situation and create something so beautiful, so amazing that will only reflect His Hand. I do not walk with fear, doubt, mistrust, or anger. The reason? Because I don’t focus on my husband. I focus on God. My husband has never treated me so good. He has loved on me more than ever. He has seen God’s work through me. This is what changed his heart. We now pray together, attend church together, and work on our relationship through God. Don’t give up.
I can relate. 18 year marriage with 4 kids when I found out my wife had been cheating. The trust was/is forever broken.
@@Dsmooth1989 amen
@@andic3676 amen
The dealmaker for forgiveness and reconciliation was when Hasani said, "we introduced God into the relationship." Unless God watches over a marriage, those who attempt to keep it pure will be doing it in vain. Unless the Lord builds a marriage, they build in vain who attempt to build. God is the copyright owner of any marriage and must be consulted for permission to establish, build and restore.
Well, you can forgive someone and not wanna be with them anymore.
That’s great. But both have to be on the same page. If the cheater loved God that much they never would have cheated
I concur 100%
@@abuvavrage not really. David was a man after God's own heart, but we all know how things went with he and Bathsheba. Sometimes our humanity interferes with our divinity
Godward watching over it and let it go awry
Forgiving and staying are two different things.
Literally had me in tears!!.. Because I’ve forgiven we just need help the recovery phase.. Can’t wait to book you and your wife for our process.
He'll cheat again. It's a matter of time. Don't settle for mediocrity.
You can’t over come infidelity when the cheater admits to being shameless and welcomes it.
That’s when you walk away, without thinking about it twice
@sandra nachi dude shut the fuck up with your scams
My husband cheated on me after 16 years of being together he cheated on me with one of his co workers. Hurts so much How could he do this to me is the question that I keep asking myself over and over again like why wasn’t I enough? Even though he tells me that she was a nobody that she didn’t mean anything. How do I stop thinking about it? Everyday I think about her and him everyday like where did it happen where was I at? What did he do when he came home? All this questions and I feel like I’m going crazy I feel lost and broken how could this man that was supposed to have my back hurt me like this?
I’m sorry
I pray that you no longer are hurting.
I know what you are feeling! 18 years of marriage! I have questions and she gets amnesia!
No idea what to do 😢
It’s really hurtful and the lies are endless everyday more and more 😊
My wife decided divorce was the best option. I went to rehab and she found out to my many hookups I’m completely ashamed but she won’t even speak to me. The pain I put that woman through kills me because she was the best thing to ever happen to me.
Rehab? Are you sexaddict? Two of my partners had that « disease », is it even « curable »?
The responses to you are harsh. You were in the wrong but everyone deserves forgiveness. I hope you and your ex wife find peace in your hearts
Wow, i bet you feel terrible every day.
You are a fool
*I’m glad you two are moving on with your lives. It’s probably best that you two went your separate ways. Is it a fair assessment that she wasn’t the best thing to happen to you and that’s why you cheated on her?
Not trying to be rude.*
If someone cheats, leave. Save your life.
If some one your married to does not communicate that they are unhappy, that is their fault not yours. And when they cheat, thats unforgiveable. You can forgive that person, but do not take them back.
He's right you should forgive...Right after you leave the relationship.
Well I think everything basically depends on what you really want or are looking for. Their are far better and far reliable ethical hackers out their and I feel very lucky to be able to find one of them, (spiunknown) on instagram has been a great help and lots of potential. Just ask him anything hacking related I am sure he has solution to your hacking need. you might want to copy this {spiunknown} dm on instagram now you can also contact on gmail .jordancyberhack999@gmail.com
This dude Must be a cheater he seems way to calm
It's easier said than done Mr.preacher.
Forgiveness is indeed the process you have to go through to get to the destination
Which destination ?
He never said it would be easy. Yet, it entirely is possible. God does it with us all the time.
@@thomasasante2537 To Cuckistan.
@@JohnSmith-dn7yr :D
That's a lot to go through to restore a marriage that was not honored by either partner. This couple is an extreme example. Forgiveness doesn't have to be quite that challenging... I hope people do not have to survive a near death experience in order to be intimate with their spouse!
Hell no. No forgiving, no forgetting. My ex and I knew each other in high school. We both married other people. Then I divorced my husband, his wife died. We finally got together and he told me he had waited decades for me. Then he cheated on me....with his daughter in law. Cant get much lower than that.
His daughter in law his son wife yo that is crazy
Wow that’s low! He care at all.
Just curious, not trying to be rude… was that route better than staying with your husband that you divorced?
Forgiveness does not change the past but it does change the future. - Paul Lewis Boese, 1967 The Weekly Digest
Forgive is okay but trust is another Level.
If the marriage partner that is unfaithful to their partner does not confess to the act, but the event did happen it leaves the door open for the event to repeat. Reconciliation can only happen when the truth of the event is confessed. So forgiveness can happen and needs to happen, but the thought of it reoccurring is always present until it is hashed out by both partners.
It’s called “cheating” because one person is cheating their way to “happiness” by using a third party. A strong work ethic is mandatory for reconciliation. I (VERY IMPORTANT “i”) found a truth in that I wasn’t the man I should have been.. so I changed that about myself. Found out a couple months later after my change (stopped smoking cigs, now jog daily, lifting, etc) that she was cheating.
I tried SO HARD to have an angry reaction. But I didn’t blame her for cheating on my lame ass. Instead I said:
“You fucking do it again, I chop your tits off. Now lets get the fuck off of this couch, change these babies’ diapers, and have a great day.”
She, too, has followed my lifestyle change and there is not a doubt in my mind she won’t stray.
And if she does, I don’t fucking care. She’s out there with rump roasts when she could be at home having this wagyu.
I got shit to do, to Hell with what she’s doing. God knows where I stand. Amen.
I cried watching this. I have been cheated on and I still couldn't forgive my partner because I found it hard to forgive. I've prayed and cried so many times to God to give me peace and to help me forgive. Thank you for this. It helped a lot.
I've had a relationship of 6 years on April 20th, the woman I loved cheated on me with a man that is a Loser.. We are recovering.. theirs so much more on her part, addiction, mental health, abuse, exct... ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS.. I love her and you mentioning God is what made me believe that I was ment to see this video 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Leave her as fast as you can! She needs to deal with herself.
I hope we forgive each other because God has forgiven us both already. I pray for restoration in my relationships with my family and future husband.
It's been three years since I've tried to forgive my fiancee. We've been together for almost 10, and we have two young boys together... no matter how hard I try or say it out loud I can not get over it, it can change with the day or even the weather it seems. She's the only woman I've ever truly Loved, but this eats at me so much. I don't know if I even know how to forgive her, I desperately want to but my brain and heart won't soften.
It’s unbearable
Shane, I think letting her go would the best option. The break up will hurt but it’s better than hurting yourself through out life.
*You should forgive a cheater and move on with your life. Forgiveness does not mean you have to stay. Cheaters don't have the integrity, honesty, guts or mental toughness to end a relationship before getting involved with someone else. Confronting a cheater upset or frustrated is meaningless, it's laughing material and a ego stroke to them. They're not worth your time or energy because they have to lie and mislead. If a cheater is caught they have to 'pretend' to have remorse or be sorry for their actions; some will put on displays so believable that they should be nominated for an Oscar. Ghost cheaters, go no contact and live life looking forward to the great days ahead!*
This blessed me in so many ways! God bless you and your family.
Nonsense, know your worth fellas. If you're putting the work in and the food on the table and taking care of her every need and she pulls that kinda stuff that she's not the one. Period.
Im going through the same issue and I feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest.... I don’t know what to do part of me wants to stay but I feel like a fool if I did I know time heals everything but sometimes it’s not enough to hear those words when ur going through it at the moment
Jamie just think of how good she got pounded and loved it. That will be your answer. Once a woman cheats, he is no longer her king 👑
I can feel you. I don’t think anything is as painful as this.
I am currently going through this myself she decided that she needed space 2 years ago i knew there was someone else but she denied it and i eventually found out who he was 2 years later and i still can't get past this i try to forgive her I've even tried to be friends with her we were together for 18 years and we have 3 kids together hell it's to the point where she has lied to me so much that I'm starting to wonder if the kids are mine and I'm actually scared to get a paternity test because i wouldn't know what to do if the results came back I'm not the father i have so many trust issues i wish i could find some type of help to get over this
@@7575jsbrother god watches all over us and all of our deeds ..
One day we all have to answer to him and we are rewarded or punished accordingly.
The couple he's describing half way through, having multiple affairs ect is not one to look to as a example of forgiveness... It's horrifically toxic!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Agree 💯
Sometimes we need to forgive to save the Relationship... But the thing we need to take care about is we shouldn't lose ourselves in the Process of getting back to them.
Change is good too . In my case I cheated. From us never dealing with the pain of when I did cheat . how I was being to her and not treating her right . I apologize and we are working on us everyday. I think change is good if you were the problem in the relationship . In my case, I was demanding a lot from her and telling her to change herself to become my kind of pretty instead of seeing her beauty like before when we meet. fixing yourself was needed in are relationship . I see what you mean about not losing who you are , but it’s okay to be a better person from it and give all that pain to god and let him heal that!
@@nakyiahcaballero7180why do you say you were in pain? From a cheater’s perspective is it actually painful? And why?
Once maybe , a long term cheating relationship, no , multiple times no.
Maggie Taskila, thank you for saying that. I found my wife in bed getting pleasured by someone else. She knew him for a long time. I quietly closed the bedroom door so they could have privacy and we talked about it peacefully that night. She said her male friend's wife had a bad back and needed a wife until she got better. She promised not to do it again and as far as I kniw, she hasn't
@@denergized7993 sounds like you truly love your wife. And she has no respect for you.
@@denergized7993 i feel so sorry for you because something similar happened in my marriage but never stopped.
@@denergized7993 You really are stupid. Fools deserve what they get.
D Energized grow a pair and ditch her (she’s only gonna do it again)
Not forgiving is self protection. The afflicted has not yet healed, and does not feel safe, or secure that he/she will not be hurt again. It is not a flaw
Please, please, please, PLEASEE! To anyone watching this, that is experiencing repeated infidelity, please don’t just write it off… make sure you are not dealing with a narcissistic partner that cannot and will not change… Forgiveness is awesome and dandy, but make sure your not taking someone back that has a problem that can’t be fixed. People hide behind god everyday but still act in unholy ways. I see it ALL THE TIME! Be careful everyone! Much love and light to anyone going through hard times! ❤️
Wow! This is brilliant! I have never been unfaithful! I love who I am. But I know the other side of infidelity.
Marriage isn't hard it all depends on the person you marry I know people that have been married for 30, 40, and 50 years. Also a lot of people don't pray to God to send them their mates instead they focus on how good the sex is or how attractive the person is or if they got a good job or if they are making money. I also believe in dating a person for awhile before getting married to see if you are compatible and have the same goals and marriage commitments as well as communication which is very important, you must be able to communicate with your spouse once you stop communicating your marriage is just about over. Also the number one problem that ends marriages is Cheating and Finance I know it can be hard sometimes, but you never give up on love and marriage, so just pray to God that he sends you the right man or woman in your life.
L C 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Marriage is HARD...even a happy one...there is no manual on how to navigate all the challenges that will come your way and couples have to learn each others love language, communicate well...it is hard..
well said LC
I disagree. No matter how great you think your marriage is, EVERY marriage is HARD WORK, daily.
L C . Profound
Sometimes even forgiveness does not work. I have forgiven my husband for 30 years and he still lives with his girlfriend. I have emotionally let go living separated not no longer deal with low self esteem and mental health issues. Great for those couples that can forgive and work it out. God bless them!
It is not about forgiving but forgetting and if the other has cheated, you will never forget it.
You forgive for yourself so you can move on...you don't have to stay with the person though. I don't allow cheating...one time and I'm OUT.
How powerful is that People need to know that relationship without God is destine to failure Jesus say without him we cant do nothing and when we try to do it without him the enemy of our soul will be happy to take control.....lets hope that people will learn from that experience
gross.
Ha ha ha ha ha - what a load of crap.
Marie Savannah bloody bible basher.
Marie Savannah I learnt it the hard way. I am married to an unbeliever. And I am dealing with the big hypocrit and liar I've never met.
I need to rebuild my life and journey with Jesus first.
And The Lord only knows what will happen.
Please pray for me.
I will pray for you sister we all make mistake we all desperate for love yet its only by experiencing the love of God for ourself that we wont fall for these ungodly human love Matthew 6:33 says seek fist the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you if you do that the lord will come through remember Jesus love you more than any man can love you on this earth.here is my email ,dress if you need support Jesus_is_comingsoon@hotmail.com in our savior love Martina
I cheated on my wife when she found out she did same to me we had a very hard year we got through it it was VERY tough that I would never get through it but I felt what she felt til this day we are more closer than we ever were before been together 14 years now 👍❤️
Game Over Awesome. I love it!
I bet she got pounded pretty good. Once a wife cheats on a husband. He is no longer her king 👑
that's reassuring to know, I cheated on my wife while out of town. I hate myself, I hate I'm ran the risk of breaking up my family.
I want my wife to atleast trust me about 75-90% as much as she used to
@@lizlana4200 not funny, they both messed up, they reconciled they deserve congrats
Give her *
Yes go ahead and forgive but get rid of them! You can never be trusted again!!
I just got my heart broken, she cheated on me. I just shut down, she damaged me. I just told her I was not going to bring it up. Is very difficult she always said she loved me, and it took a weekend for her to break me. I'm keeping all this feelings inside, I can't even open up with no one. She was my trophy of life, I trusted her. I hope I get past this.
I like this man's views...forgiveness, healing...and a willingness to seek professional help...for both man and woman. The commentaries on these sites default to hate and revenge upon the other party...nothing good can come from such behavior. Those who have such attitudes destroy the sunlight of THEIR souls. Please remember this inescapable truth of 'relationship, when considering these unintended , inevitable consequences. Thank you, and subscribed. PS: please look to examples of long-married men and women and their stories of recovery as married couples.
I’m struggling with forgiveness and feelings because, not only did he cheat, he also lied several times when confronted. How can I move of from all that on top of the cheating?
Leave. Without respect, the relationship is toxic. Only you can answer why you would accept that dynamic
An affair may look charming and exciting but what it really brings is a tumultuous of disasters one after the other. It will bring ANXIETY, CHAOS, , SADNESS, ANGER, DEPRESSION. all the negative things that the devil represents. These feelings bring about disease . One the other side of unfaithfulness is a life of peace. when you respect the sanctity of marriage, there is Togetherness. Security. Joy. In your life. No matter what the outside would gives you. If there is boredom, it is much easier to fix it, than dealing with the repercussions of an affair. The devil is good at deceiving us into thinking that these disastrous things are interesting and fun. But in reality, It brings chaos to both lives. Broken homes. Broken people. It is obvious in the lives of those who have been through it. Take your marriage seriously. It brings about a better world, better children. Stop allowing the devil to tempt you into thinking you will have a better life. It’s a lie. This is what the devil is good at.
You couldn't of said it better. Adultery causes so much pain and has eternal consequences. It is true that the devil will lure you into a lie. Like the apple at the garden of eden. He told Eve they would be like god and they would not die and of course the apple looked nice and shiny. Probably even tasted delicious. Well, thanks to that now we are all sinners by nature.
It’s just the attraction!! That’s normal but to act on it is where you need to stop and think a minute about all that could be lost and will be DEFINITELY!
Forgive by accepting their intentions are theirs and their life is their responsibility to live. Protect yourself by leaving
The moment a third person enters a marriage, that marriage is over.
I cheated back and I felt better. I know they say that cheating back is bad but living with the fact your were cheated on and stay in the marriage is worst. I felt validated after my affair, then I forgave him because we were even
They say cheating is the glue to some people marriage
@@pittleague though it can sometimes play out that way.. Someone who truly believes that statement is foolish & lacks understanding of the foundation of marriage.
I agree
😂🤣
Forgiveness is easy, but when it happens unexpectedly from a church, that is hard to take in. I have forgiven her but cannot forget the act. It is time to move on and be aware of particular relationship not to get into. We communicate as associates; however, it can never be the same.
Yes more wives are cheating now. There's less of a stigma it seems . Couples r accepting poor quality relationships as if the norm, instead of building the marriage like a project. I feel the church has failed marriage by not being enough of a support
Forgive the betrayer and move on with your life. Don't stay. Embrace your worth and ge ready to face the healing process.
Just found out my ex was seeing another woman for 5 months. This is very painful. I don’t understand why he did it but I forgave him and let him go. I still have love for him but The deception is too much for me and I needed to leave.