the sexual revolution lied to you (the end of gen z's "h0e phase")
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- Опубліковано 2 лип 2024
- is it a celibate girl summer?
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time stamps:
00:00-1:28 intro
1:29- 14:06 bumble ad + the fall of dating apps
14:07-16:00 the “first” sexual revolution”?
16:01-29:11 1920s sexual revolution
29:12-35:52 1960s sexual revolution
35:53-44:26 sex and the city
44:27- 51:03 Tumblr sex positivty
51:04-57:07 gen z celibacy/abstinence
sources:
The Origins of Sex: A History of the First Sexual Revolution: history.princeton.edu/about/p...
The Sexual Revolution of the "Roaring
Twenties": Practice or Perception? soar.suny.edu/bitstream/handl...
sexual revolution:
ehistory.osu.edu/sites/ehisto...
It’s Not You: Dating Apps Are Getting Worse: www.nytimes.com/2024/03/16/op...
sexual revolution (wiki) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_...
Less Is More: Welcome To The Rise Of #Celibacywww.elle.com/uk/life-and-cult... /
www.independent.co.uk/life-st...
Why more and more young people are opting for voluntary celibacy www.dazeddigital.com/life-cul...
nation.africa/kenya/life-and-...
business email: madisyn@sparkmedia.la
intro by: nicole_collete_... - Ігри
I just feel like a lot of people use sex for validation and others use it as a pacifier for other issues. I think more people are waking up to this reality because we’re spending more time alone.
flesruoy llik. dluohs uoy fo lla dna stuls ssenlli latnem sselesu era nemow
@@ville__ Love yourself.
@@ville__what the fuck is your problem
@@ville__ What the heck man? You good?
@@daniellairers2879it’s a hot
Guess what, people are getting tired of being used and treated like an object. Not to mention the risks like stds, pregnancy, stalkers, kidn@pping... Yeah no.
flesruoy llik.. dluohs uoy fo lla dna stuls ssenlli latnem sselesu era selamef
@@ville__?????
@@TaphsAJthis account is a bot, I have seen them on channels saying purposely rage baity things to get attention. So just ignore them
Period
I mean kidnapping is definitely not a typical risk of dating. Would be good if we could recalibrate our sense of risk. Like be more wary of your new male "friends" at college because that's where the SA happens overwhelmingly. Instead of avoiding all human contact because of "kidnapping."
Gen Z boy here, about to turn 20. I can’t see sex outside of a romantic lens. I need to be affectionate and in a loving relationship with someone. The thought of loveless sex makes me feel physically sick and mentally distraught. Until I find someone who feels like home, feels like a shot of espresso, I’d rather stay celibate.
You are having normal feelings for your age. But as you age the less special sex becomes in every way. Eventually it's just not a big deal. Many people with kids plan and do it like a household chore. The vast majority of 35+ discourse about it is how boring their lives are and how all magic is gone or whatever.
Don't worry about other people or what you yourself will think in the future. Just do your best to find somebody who is on the same page as you in the moment. So yes, you are probably doing right by yourself.
Have you heard of the term demi-sexual? It seems like it may fit you.
(I hope this isn't rude! Idk if you care about labels or if it even applies to you - just dropping this here in case it may be helpful)
I'm around the same age n I agree. I don't really get doing such intimate acts with somebody and not absolutely loving them. It's such a special act, and when with the right person, it will always feel like love.
@@pheela That is a wild take.
Don't let naysayers discourage you, OP.
I had my first time at 27 and still love my Partner and everything we do at 35.
@@katrinam6795 I am happy for you, truly. I just don't think anyone has the right to look down on people who made different choices than they did, no matter how pleased you are with your decisions.
Also, I, too, wholeheartedly cheered OP on for doing what's right for them and not following peer pressure.
Also, why does the media representation of teens and young adults always involve sex and being provocative. Like can we have a tv show that doesn’t show the love making scenes and focus on friendship or even love or mental health without them ripping their clothes and jumping on each other.
So real. All these teen dramas (and maybe even college series) focus so much on the topics of relationships and sex. But damn, so many school/college students have entirely different issues in life. Why not to show these aspects of life instead? Like the struggles with studying for instance, or adjusting in new environment
This type of content serves as a getaway drug for teenagers who do not know anything about sex.
Ikr?!
We got that with heart stopper but then people started complaining that it was too “unrealistic”. Media is making everyone think this is normal behavior 😭
this is too idealistic when the industry is filled with old men
I think when women start decentering men a lot of systems and ideas we have start making no sense and we are actually able to realise how damaging some of these ideas might be.
Yeah THIS. I think many women wake up one day and the veil has been suddenly lifted, and they have to reckon with the consequences of the things they participated in or did or allowed to happen in pursuit of male validation. When you realize that your life has less stress and you’re happier and more fulfilled without that constant pressure, there’s no want or reason to go back
flesruoy llik.. elamef
@@ville__you may not like it but you can’t change what we want. Live with it
@@m.44az16it's a bot
All that is good until the structures and systems put in place by men for your convenience starts to breakdown. As more men feel left out and ignored, more will start to question why they are even maintaining civilization for people regard them as less than a goldfish. This is already happening.
Then evolution will kick in and you will once again, as you have always done, for every civilization we have known in recorded history and probably before history, lean on the man.
You cannot escape this reality. The quicker you accept it, the more at peace you will be.
By the way, decentering men concept is just a woman's version of migtow so once again, you are following men.
Christ...no self awareness.
it’s too many diseases and shady characters for me to give my body or trust to just anyone anymore. when i turned 18 (22 now) i went wild and went on a lot of random hookups because i felt sheltered as a child/teen. it literally did nothing for me (self-inflicted trauma at the worst lol). i could never have sex again and be fine tbh. if i do, it would have to be with someone VERY special.
exact same here
Literally so real…turned 18 and started doing dumb stuff but hey now I’m protective somewhat of my energy
jesus christ this is exactly me. i had a month long hoe phase at 18 and im almost 22 and am perfectly content being single. i became so much more selective since being celibate and i realize how much i prefer my own company over someone else who just wants sex
Yo I'm 30 now, I did this from 19- 22 also.
A lot of good things came from it, I learned SO much about my wants and needs and how to be considerate of others wants and needs. But I also incurred a lot of trauma, and older people (mostly older men in particular) took advantage of me while I was in this exploratory phase.
Now, I'm not really interested in dating, turns out i'm a lesbian so that's a fun twist, and I'm honestly pretty happy to just be living with my good friends and not really looking for a relationship. If a romance finds me, sure. But I'm not seeking it.
Turns out my sexual liberation came in the form of exploring a lot, and then pivoting to a pretty anti dating experience after a while to wind back and re-discover myself.
Turns out your sexual liberation can look like many things, and that can include NO interest in sex or dating, as much as it can fully include those things. It's about choice, and not adhering to compulsory standards of living and of having relationships
SAME HERE!
As a gay dude, hookup culture has had such a negative impact on my mental health. While we should all feel free to have as much consensual sex as we want, the reality is that I and many others want a long term relationship, and that is so hard to find right now. I've also been able to figure out what *I* want by being celibate, rather than feeling pressured by sexually experienced guys.
I wanna clarify that when we talk about "going celibate," there can be a bit of a superiority complex there. We should be cognizant of the fact that society sometimes still views sex as "dirty," and due to the dominance of organized religion, there's still an ongoing fight for sexual liberation. We can support people both for being sexually liberated **and** for choosing abstinence if that''s what suits them.
Gurl I couldn't have said it better. As a 30 YO lesbian, I have such a similar vibe
Best wishes to you, queer fellow
I feel you. I'm a lesbian and its hard out there. Nobody even meets up for anything. So much division among the lgbt too.
Truth be told, there’s a pressure to perform lustful sexuality otherwise you’re perceived as someone boring and not fun to be around. This is the reason why most people are forced to present themselves as someone who doesn’t want a long term relationship as of now.
I never understood why gay men are so hypersexual, especially in the cities. Like, chilllllll!
I am 26, male, 6 years in relationship and 4 years married. My wife is the only woman that I have slept with, and I was second for her. I will be honest, there were hard times in the beginning of our story, because I was anxious that I did not had sex with another women. I thought that I MUST experience it and then compare the feeling, or I will regret in the future. Even my dad always joked that I should have a side chick in my hometown for. After two years I finally accepted fact that I don't want to trade all my happiness for a hookup, and then I proposed 💖 Living happily eversince. If I could tell something to my past self, I would tell that you didn't need to feel yourself strange just because you didn't want to ruin your future family for society approval of promiscuous "male behaviour".
good for u!! /gen
Then men will say women are ruining things when they are ruining men dating life in a young age
Aw that’s beautiful! Many congrats to you and your wife
Your story is wonderful and I'm glad you stayed true to yourself and value your love.
Thanks for sharing ❤
this is so interesting because in 2018 when i was FOURTEEN i felt so much pressure to lose my v card and rack up a high body count, and i would constantly watch storytime videos about "losing my virginity at 14". (of course these videos typically involved a grown man taking advantage of a young girl... something i idolized at the time)
now i'm so glad i didn't pull at that age and waited for a genuine commitment with someone i trusted. i applaud those who are sexually liberated but i was seeking a lifestyle that went against my own sexual values. i know if i'd actually gotten what i wanted at 14, i would regret it for a long time.
while i don't like the rebirthed culture of shaming sexually liberated individuals (particularly women), i do appreciate that celibacy or sexual caution is being promoted and celebrated because i felt firsthand how easily younger minds can be sexually influenced
I totally relate! I've had no reason to lose my v or anything but it's so confusing growing up hearing two different sides, youre a wh0re if you do and a prude if you don't. I have no issue with other people doing what makes them happy, I just wish society would quit making up these expectations that "everyone" has to follow when we all want different things. I'm glad we're in a more sexually conscious world now filled with discussions, I just wish people could realize we don't have to have an extreme take on everything, we should just let people do what they want and do what we want.
Separating sexual liberation from celibacy and sexual caution is so wild to me.
Honestly, it's so sad that you felt that pressure at freakin' *fourteen*! That is SO messed up.
Don't worry about it, I waited until I was 27 that I knew what I wanted and waited for a decent person, You Will never regret waiting.
14, holyyyy. I was 18 when I lost mine, and looking back I wish I had waited a little bit.
In my opinion sex should be something that you work towards building. It’s supposed to be a romantic practice, not a body count competition. I’m 20 and still haven’t lost my virginity and I’m gay (which sucks because cus the gay community thrives off one night stands). But I have always made the effort to to not feel pressured into sex
Good job 👏🏾
bein gay is a choice,
@@ville__ So you chose to be str8 🤢
@@randomgeekcrap 42%
@@randomgeekcrapit’s a troll ignore it. if you ignore it, it’ll eventually stop trying.
Sex is so conflicting. One moment I can think “oh it’s just sex” and the next I’m thinking “this is soul bonding, have my kids, let’s get married, I’m all yours” so I’m just gonna stay monogamous w my bf to be safe 😀
So real
As long as everyone in the situation of sex is safe and happily consenting, then i believe it's fine whichever path a person chooses
Sex is just sex with the person you love and has decided to create and deepen your soul tie with. The commodification of sex is meant for people to believe they can thrive in casual sex.
soul bonding isnt real btw
@@BroJo676”Soul tie”is a pretty odd term for chemicals your brain releases during sex.
I used to be very anxious about being a v at 21-22. Eventually I found a boyfriend I dated for 3 years, and now I'm with my second boyfriend. Looking back, I'm so glad I didn't engage in hookup culture, because I would probably traumatized myself.
I'm Ukrainian, and we have a very popular singer, Jerry Heil (represented Ukraine at Eurovision this year), and she's very open about being a v at 25, and says, "I'm saving myself for a person who's gonna DM me with a good grammar". A big half of her fanbase are little girls, and I'm so glad they have a role model like that, because dignity and self-respect is what we need to promote.
The good grammar bit is so funny 😂 I do hope this doesn't end badly because I'm old enough to remember what a prison making public statements like this ended up being for Britney Spears back in the day. People got so obsessed with her v card. And some of the stuff was VILE that they said and implied. Like she would cease to have any value as a human being if we ever found out she wasn't one anymore. And the same people would also be so invasive asking her bf about it too because they really really wanted to trash her as a person. These people were thirsty to see her fall from grace.
@@pheela yikes 😬 that's disgusting
Hahahaha yes about the grammar!! 😂😂
I have had sexual experience at 28, have never regretted my decision. I presume I am a bit older than you, because I have been traumatized by the other side of this conversation, i.e., purity culture. It was such a taboo to be dating or even having sex outside of marriage in Kyiv in the 2000s, and these were only women who were shamed, never men. This made me disgusted in men and I have not dated till I was 24 and a foreighn student in a foreign country, and I still am with my boyfriend from that time who is a foreigner. I think dignity and self-respect is very individualistic. For me, a prospect of dating and hookups was empowering, because that is what I was denied and shamed for wanting before. I dread the return of purity culture to Ukraine, because we have just left it, and not even that completely. My hope is that we take a more measured approach and stop shaming women for either choice. My closing thought is that whether to date or not to date, do hookups or not do hookups, not want to marry or want to marry should always be an individual choice. Whatever the culture is pressuring you to do is never healthy.
P.S.: I hope we have a role model who teaches men the same things about dignity and self-respect. Our society is famous for "teaching" women how to behave while allowing men to do whatever bs unpunished. Time to change that.
@@TheGamer2001 I'm very fortunate, my parents never pressured me into marriage or childbirth, despite being from a very small town and pretty close-minded)) I guess that's because my mom's and grandmas experience with marriage were pretty negative.
I remember when I was 17 I was so sick of being unattractive and invisible to men that I intentionally put myself in bad situations. I'm still a virgin but it just made me feel personally disgusted.
Girly keep ur v card it's a shield against getting used I promise u the right guy will wait until you get married if you have to okay
I cackled out loud at "hot rodent boyfriend" and then took a long hard look at my life
many such cases
flesruoy llik.. elamef
@@ville__ wowee!!
@@ville__ tf dawg
@@ville__ bruh 💀
Older millennial here. I can assure you, dating people by chance meetings or just starting out as friends with someone is the best way to find a partner. I tried online dating for about 6 hours when I was in my 20s- I absolutely hated it. It was clear that all any of the guys there wanted to do was hook up, and that was just not my way. I met my husband at work, we started out as friends and fell in love. Meeting people and forming lasting relationships will make you feel vulnerable, but it is absolutely worth any discomfort you may feel in the beginning.
Thank you for your mature and realistic input. The issue is the impatience and lack of effort people my generation actually prove when it come to relationships. We collectively want that Disney fairy tale relationship while relationships are nurtured with time, through blood, sweat, and tears.
I spoke to a friend of mine recently.
I told 'em I'm better off just sticking to the gym since the chances of me meeting like minded people are higher there than hitting up random women irl or on dating apps.
He's tried to convince that I'm limiting my options by going about it that way.
In my current longest lasting relationship thanks to Hinge and honestly even with that success story (we now live together with two adopted cats shared) I can’t even recommend dating apps without a grain of salt.
Internet inherently brings out the worst in people, it can be now or later down the road but without any moderation it’s bound to happen. Dating apps is where lovers go to practically die. I won’t completely write it off since, but after seeing a sea of people man or woman wanting hook ups, no clear goal or lying about their intentions it gets old and tiring. People think far too highly of themselves on these apps too without having anything to show for it and this isn’t me saying don’t be picky either.
@@thuglifeinc4894If I had to throw my two cents I’d say the answer is closer to “Sorta” than any definitive yes or no. You’re always bound to find someone you relate to in spaces you stick to the most but the gym is a rough approach. At the same time though, hey anything can happen. I’d say keep an open mind cause any random encounter just walking about or going to a coffee shop can evolve into you being with one of the best people on this planet.
@@thuglifeinc4894maybe you can branch out your sports activities someday where you meet more people to befriend/date.
Lost my v card at 18, and while it was not… terrible, it opened the door to some of the absolute worst sex of my life because of who I was with at the time. I was too young and demure to ask for what I wanted and the man I was with at the time was a full adult who took advantage of that. 100%. Even if he “didn’t realize” I didn’t like when he did something, there isn’t a planet in this galaxy where a 27 year old man choosing to date an 18 year old WOULDN’T find her reluctance to admit that she didn’t like sex convenient. He never fully assaulted me, but the vast majority of our sexual activity was coercive and it is just insane to look back at. It’s been over a year since I dumped him but I am not over the stuff he put me through. Sexually and mentally. I don’t know if I can ever get over it really.
That sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.
Ughhh, I hate how relatable this post is. It took me until I was 22 and truly being sexually free to know what real pleasure is without all the moral, emotional and societal hangups.. To me it's about exercising my boundaries and being vocal about what I want. Now I don't have sex, or will stop an interaction if I'm not getting whatever I want. Otherwise what am I doing it for?
I’m sorry babes but that really does sound like assault 😭 I’m so sorry you went through that 💗
You will be fine, dont worry about it. Seems like you needed that experience for your life.
@@Dope_ZeroNo, no one ever “needs” an experience like this. This shouldn’t be normalized
I don't know why it has to be label as "people going celibate". Why is having or not having sex with whoever how often anyone's business ?
I got out of a long bad relationship, attempted to date, guys only wanted to sleep around. I said no thank you. If someone wanted to "date" me I let them know up front "I won't sleep with you for 3 months". To each their own, but I wasn't waisting my body (or time) on people that weren't interested in seriously dating. They either walked away or thought they could "change my mind", then have a hissy fit because I wouldn't give in (?).
My now Husband had a hard time with this rule (so did I), but we were together for 5 years before getting married. My 3 month rule wasn't an "obstacle to be overcome" because he was looking to seriously date too. And you know, not have his time waisted either.
I get not everyone is like this, but why bend to someone that you owe nothing ? 😘
Agreed. Making choices with your body that make you genuinely happy doesn't mean you have to become part of a particular category and take on the rules of a particular group. You can just...be. There doesn't have to be a declared identity for everything in life! I think gen Z is just super uncomfortable with nuance.
your right, our baseline is sexually active people
Thats not a good idea. gonna run off some good guys possibly. men are also being affected by propaganda that tells us we arent good enough if women dont throw themselves at us. not saying you should sleep with them but dont say it like that.
Because people are unfortunately intertwining this with lesbian separatist (aka TERF) dogma that fails miserably every single time.
flesruoy llik.. elamef
I'm a millennial angry at how anti social society is becoming and the apps add to it. Little people in your phone who ghost you and are chronically afraid of connecting and refuse to accept our own complacency and reluctance to go out and do sh-- in person instead indulging in learned helplessness of something else always making us feel bad as if we have no free will and accountability for our own lives. I'm so tired.
This hurts to hear but is true
It takes a fall to create a rise - universe is a wave
Omg you worded this exact feeling I have had so perfectly.
I am also a millennial. Growing up both on the spectrum and painfully shy, I remember being absolutely in love with social media when I first made a MySpace (and later Facebook) account! It was the first time I felt like I could really connect with other people and things I was saying were being understood!!
It wasn’t really until the past several years that I realized that in actuality it had been crippling for my development, and a massive waste of time. Not to mention what a literal hellscape of negativity these sites had become.
It’s not even a society at this point… and the contents of this video I don’t think is the answer but a symptom of how bad things are yet to become
I met my boyfriend through Hinge and we’re still together 2.5 years later (both 27 now), but if I were to be single again I would skip dating apps altogether. From what I’m seeing the dating scene is even more atrocious now🥴
Omg same. Except we met on tinder and been together 3 years. Although it was successful for us, I wouldn't go back to it again. It wasn't great when we used it to find each other but I worry it's much worse now.
tbh, there is no right and wrong. some people can enjoy casual sex, some cant. and both are fine. yes, be safe, do your due diligence. no one should be pressured to be "celibate" or engage in casual sex if they dont want to.
As someone who was a late bloomer, the so called 'purity' culture also made an impact on me, i didnt have sex until late out of fear... yet i'm now in my late 20s, exploring the sexual side of me i didnt before.
casual sex wont fill the hole a long term relationship will, but it was never meant to. they are both different. Do what feels right for you and let other people do whats right for them.
This
I can relate so much to your experience. I grew up in a religious household, so the purity culture did have an impact on me. During my teens I got a gf, and we had a lot of sex, eventually we broke it off. However, I never went through a phase where I explored my sexuality with other people and had fun with casual sex. Recently, I just turned 26, and I feel like I am just now getting into the whole "casual sex/have fun" phase in my life.
This reply is an example of someone who doesn’t realize they are -the problem-.. “there is no right and wrong” is where postmodernist thought begins. Which is basically “do what feels good and ignore traditional wisdom and the idea of objective truth.”
Same, late bloomer here. I’m just now exploring my sexual side at 34 after being single my entire life…
@@dnbjediwhatever man it’s true no matter what label you want to put in it 🙄 none of the forcing of the conservative lifestyle EVER worked, and in fact sexual education and awareness causes people to have LESS sex, don’t be delusional
Bumble should just lean into being the lesbian dating app.
Males pretend to be women and infiltrate those too…like what happened with the app HER (for lesbians).
nah
Fr. That would be cool🤩
i think hookup culture was only empowering in contrast to being only able to have sex in marriage which was oppressive in a different way and arguably worse, but now we see the alternative is is also oppressive in a different way
so true! when you’re younger sometimes it feels like the only two options are be a virgin forever or start having sex, but it doesn’t have to be that way. people shouldn’t have sex just because they don’t want to be labeled as virgins, they should theoretically hold off for someone who they love. having sex too early is definitely harmful and does way more damage than good.
Exactly. My mom admitted she married men she didn’t really love because she wanted to have sex and thought the only way to do that without being “bad” was marriage. That’s what hookup culture initially pushed against. It ended up with its own serious problems, but it was originally a type of fuck you to the societal prisons of those times.
@@PsilolcybinI had sex at 15 and I’m fine 🤷🏻 my bf and I had been together a year, I talked to my mom about access to the pill and condoms, and I was all set. I have a very healthy sexual relationship with my fiancé. My best friend is in her 20s and still a virgin because she didn’t happen to have a meaningful relationship yet or time in her life for that matter. Putting stigma either way is not helpful.
The thing is, there are no laws in place that force people to participate in hookup culture.
The SR was about removing unconstitutional laws that forced harsh social and legal punishments on people for existing outside of the religious fundamentalist and white supremacist beliefs of some.
The SR could not hold the hand of millions upon millions of people and prevent them from making decisions they might regret BUT it allowed them to be able to control their own lives and bodies.
SP feminists stressed only doing what you were comfortable with and ready for, knowing yourself, and learning if the experience left you feeling bad or torn.
Without beating yourself up about it forever more (we all live and learn) and while keeping in mind that you will grow and change as you age.
A person who is not interested in casual sex in their teens or early adulthood (that was me then, and I’m pushing 50 now) might be interested in it at 35 when they are divorced and not looking for anything serious, etc.
Below are 2 standard examples of right wing beliefs about the SR.
“The #family is the bedrock of every successful society.
The Left’s attack on the family via sexual freedom & personal autonomy is aimed at destroying the very foundation of our society.”
And…
“The sexual revolution brought us here.
It killed the family it abandoned God.
The death of the family killed the strong masculine man.
The absence of the strong masculine man brought us the mentally broken liberal white woman.
The “sexual revolution” is not freedom … it is bondage that destroys individuals & society.”
This is coming from people that believe heterosexuality is the only option, as is the legal enforcement of their religious beliefs on all.
Women that could not hold a bank account or participate in many routine and mundane parts of society, that we take for granted today, unless they were married got divorced when they no longer had to do this, therefore the “liberal w*ores” are responsible for destroying the family and civilization?
No.
Lesbian separatist radfems, aka TERFs today, started claiming that women were being turned into the sex slaves of left wing men early on during the revolution, as if every woman easily hopped from decades of indoctrination and shame to sleeping with everyone coming and going.
As if teens were encouraged to do this during the HIV/AIDS crisis that took place during the SP feminist movement.
@@chelscara I think the user you are replying to isn’t talking about your circumstance then! They were saying if they only do it because they feel pressure to not be a virgin anymore, then that’s too early for them to be having sex. You were in a long relationship and did it because you wanted to, not because you felt pressure to not be a “virgin”. It sounds like, from your words, it wasn’t “too early” and you weren’t “too young” because your mindset around it was more mature than most 15 year olds. That’s really beautiful you were able to experience it that way!
As someone who is asexual and sex repulsed, the culture of hyper-sexuality has always made me feel extremely alienated from my peers. It's an idea that I'm working on not get disgusted by, but this new movement towards "celibacy" has helped with that a bit. Like people aren't questioning my lack of sexual encounters as much, if that makes sense??? I still have my own issues to work on, but I hope that sex will stop being seen as a competition or a form of validation.
I FEEL THIS SO HARD
FELT man it made me feel so ashamed growing up, also just with the fact i started puperty late and was already thinking i failed at being an acceptable teenage girl
👈😎👈 same
I'm not asexual but demi sexual and I felt the exact same during my teenage years.
Same. It's crazy to finally know I'm not the only one going through this😅
I’m a millennial in my late 20s and I think in my generation most people still met their partners in school/college/ generally in their communities. I met my husband in the first year of college and that was just when Tinder hit the scene. Even then we all knew it was just for hookups, and not if you want something serious.
I think there’s a correlation between the loss of community/third spaces and these polarized shifts in dating and hookup culture. It’s like we digitized and went too far into being online, and we’ve forgotten how to build community and partnership in person (and honestly just treating each other with respect both online and offline). It’s unfortunate… I hope theres still a chance to find balance.
this
The fact that most users of these apps are male speaks volumes.
im a 97 baby the first year of gen z. I went to college in 2016 and it was a mix of both. but heavier on the tinder and DM sliding side then real life
Yep ! :( bring back third spaces!!!!
flesruoy llik.. dluohs uoy fo lla dna stuls ssenlli latnem sselesu era selamef.
You mean to tell me that despite what the powers that be have been shouting at me, opening my legs for every guy in town ISN"T empowering?!
No one was saying that where did you get that from.
Istg the only things telling people this was the internet, TV and direct ads. Very few people were doing that without being influenced. Women should be allowed to do what they want , but that should include staying abstinent also (mainly for safety, i see nothing wrong with being active)
@@IAMHERE486 Tumblr says it all the time
@@uniquenewyork3325i see something wrong with being active if you're not getting anything out of it 😂
It can be empowering if it is empowering for YOU specifically. If you were denied experiences because of x, y, z, having them can be having power over your life = empowering. If the society and especially men are pressuring you to do something - no, it isn't empowering, it is coercing.
I feel like men and young boys need to be taught that they dont need to be hyper sexual to be "real men" and not to put hyper sexuality on a pedestal because since men are way more open to hook up culture they take advantage of women being sexually liberated for they're own sexual gain. Once hyper sexuality isnt the standard for men anymore is when we'll see a positive and long lasting change in society and sexual liberation.
Can't help but to see the correlation between loss of abortion rights and this movement. 🎉
This!
You ain't seen nothing yet, I'm afraid. 😢
So you admit abortion has been used as another type of birth control, instead of the difficult, life-altering, traumatizing and possibly-leaving-you-infertile medical procedure it actually is? Cool, glad we're all finally on the same page. It's a shame it took having your "toy" taken away to finally remember what responsibility for your actions way. Good job on f**king over everyone else, though.
It’s good to keep in mind that the U.S. is like a bunch of little countries.
Not every state had the exact same laws. They all have different ones and BC was not widely available for all. Not even close.
The SR had so many iterations because religious fundamentalists kept rolling back freedoms won.
There are still many young women and men that grow up saturated in purity culture today.
The most grotesque forms of PC have been rampant within the Mormon and Catholic Churches for an incredibly long time.
In Mormonism “impropriety” is seen as being next to ending another human beings life.
It is in the top 3 sins.
Consensual intercourse outside of wedlock, watching adult entertainment, fantasies, self pleasure…
All are noted as being WORSE than r+pe, CSA, etc…
That is bonkers.
There was an adopting of this form of PC by several other denominations that sought to roll back freedoms wind during the SR.
That is responsible for the rollback of Roe v Wade
The last comment I’ll add about this…
50+ years ago religious fundamentalists, often called nationalists today for good reason, launched a campaign to regain control of the government in order to reinforce their religious beliefs on the masses.
They intend to establish a religious theocracy.
There is a wealth of research on this.
It has nothing to do with today’s online dating landscape, etc.
They have been at this for decades because they despise the fact that they no longer largely control women’s reproductive rights, the depensing of birth control to married couples only, the sex lives of women, the persecution of anyone that falls outside of the bounds of heterosexuality, etc…
They have attempted to get this back at every turn.
Sexual liberation should be the liberty to have as much or as little sex as you're comfortable with. It should be the knowledge that our worth is not tied to our sexuality, it's inherent, and having sex or abstaining doesn't increase or decrease it. We should be able to choose whome we want to have sex with and under which terms
That's the gist of Millennial Sex Positivity philosophy. Unfortunately a lot of younger people took what you CAN do or should not be judged for wanting/doing as what you MUST do.
@@pheela I can't believe this stance just exposed me as nearing 30 😂
@@nofymofylol 😂😂😂 I mean I'm in the same boat as you. listening to somebody who was clearly a child describe the same posts I read on tumblr as they did but through an adult's eyes and misconstruing what was said completely has me huffing and puffing for this very reason.
@@pheela idk honestly I'm only a couple of years older than Madisyn, I was definitely on tumblr as a minor and definitely gotten into some spotty situations but I blame my bpd before I blame social media. I honestly think this "tumblr" brand sex positivity didn't even come from tumblr, it sounds like what happens when mainstream society hijacks "woke" ideas and subverts them to maintain the order of things.
@@nofymofylol there's definitely some distortion at play here. for one thing, I have only ever seen "the tumblr brand of" anything being discussed everywhere except tumblr.
esp common whenever twitter discussed anything they (mis)remembered reading on tumblr 5 years ago it was either a misrepresentation of what was actually said or the state of early discourse that kept evolving into something way more mature and peer-reviewed after 2015 when the twitter crowd left the site and believed the users are still stuck believing today.
This is so wild to me because hookup culture always seemed like such a Mandela effect to me - it never even seemed real just seemed like something media made us think was real now people are saying "it's over" when it seemed to me it never started it was always just men using women and women crying about it making videos about how awful it is and no one caring
Ikr? I thought for a long time it was bs being pushed by dating apps and influencers, and now I’m shocked by the hard backlash in the opposite direction.
Hookup culture is still a very real thing in certain spaces, especially queer ones
You're completely right. Rates of sex among young people have been falling consistently since the late 80s. This movement seems like people finally acknowledging what has been happening for decades now.
@@ten-ze1pq Yeah but it's not queer people really pushing this movement. It's mostly straight women complaining about straight men.
There's nothing wrong with celibacy. However, I do think that we're bouncing between extremes. Hook up culture shouldn't have been what we did after the sexual revolution. The break dowm sexual puritanism is a good thing, but sexual liberation doesn't "require" casual sex. All it requires is not being bound into the false view that how much sex you have affects ypur morality. That's very different from the hook up culture views that you should be having sex all the time and that you're lame if you don't.
For me the issue lies in our inability to exercise nuance around this issue, and the move to celibacy and sex negative attitudes is a similar failure of nuance. By all means get off the apps. Massively raise your standards. But there's no need to start talking dowm on sex and shaming people who like it. Even if they're shaming you they're ignorant and you don't need to engage in the culture war because all it does is give ammunition to conservatives who want to clamp down on womens reproductive rights.
Try to thread the needle and stay out of hook up culture but without becoming a new puritan. If celibacy is genuinely your thing then more power to you. It's a totally legit life style. Just be sure you're doing it for the right reasons.
This. Sex is a normal desire and swinging back into “everyone must see sex as this soul bonding act of purity and love” isn’t going to help anyone. I’m very scared of slutshaming sentiments coming back with a rise of “well what were you wearing”-isms. Celibacy is ok. Dating and putting off sex until you feel close is ok. And casual hook ups are also ok. We exist in extremes that tears us apart when the happy medium is actually available in this case.
THIS is the only sensible comment, thank you, my exact thoughts
One of the only smart comments
It seems like there was a balance found around the early 90s and other than that we've never been able to figure it out in the last 60 years.
@@chelscara Yeah, I didn't get the woman in this video making a distinction between school and work. Both places are supposed to be about getting work done rather than being a space primarily for socializing or romance. Don't know why something inappropriate in work would be appropriate at school especially given if you were in school in the 2010s, the outfits being worn were way more revealing than the work outfit given as an example of being inappropriate in this video, and they would be worn in like the dead of winter sometimes.
*Me, 26♀️ virgin, watching these types of videos when I got 0 matches across 2 different dating apps that I used for months in college while I get 0 male attention in real life* :
👁👄👁☕️
I'm 27 and virgin too, in a country where a person like me is an absolute alien for not having sex lol. But it's simply not possible for me, since I didn't find a person that special, it's just so intimate, it doesn't get into my head that there are people doing it with whoever they find at a night club or whatever, it's insane. And I'm assexual, so... yep, guess that's a no for me 😅
Same! I honestly never felt interest towards the physical aspect of relationships and i'm happy being like this, it's not bad at all as people like to make it out to be like you're missing out on something big. Virgin adults are out there probably hiding mostly, some on purpose and some not.
flesruoy llik.. elamef
I’m 29 & a virgin still. I get male attention irl but it’s meaningless & they don’t want to actually talk to me & know me as a person. I have a natural thick hourglass shape that men like,but it does nothing for me when it comes to building a connection. I’m assumed to be out here in the streets based off my looks but once people find out I’m a virgin, either there’s something wrong with me according to them or they get creepy. I wasn’t interested in anything for a long time in regards to relationships & now that I am, it’s terrible…… at this point, I might quit & just be alone forever lol
@@princesslukeia I'm quite feeling that way too, it's like there's no one who would really get it... you know... but anyways, let's enjoy life by doing things we like to do, be around with people we love and not stay prisoners to that "status". In the end everybody is born alone and dies alone too tbh.
Those billboard seem gross, if a women doesn’t wanna have sex that should be respected as much as if she does wanna have sex with a potential partner. I thought that was half the point of bumble
I grew up idolizing those girls who told stories about "losing my virginity at 14, 13, sometimes even 12" and i thought this was normal behavior and it ended up with me having a very painful and just awkward first time when i was two months from turning 14 when i just wasnt ready for that yet.
Too many young girls are being pressured into thinking they need to have sex to be a woman, but sex shouldn't be the thing that determines that
Bf broke up after 6 years because he can’t be with only one woman, he must have been with others, because only that way he can truly discover what he likes and dislikes :)
Never felt so ugly and used :)
That is why women are opting out of dating. Noone likes a malewhore.
Tell him he's a ho and for the streets. I would bet he was cheating/thinking of cheating. And that's on HIM, not you. You are wonderful and will find someone wonderful in the future who respects and love you.
Im so sorry ❤ youre amazing dont forget that
Men suck ass
Sometimes the trash takes itself out
To me, hooking up just has absolutely no appeal. The point of it is to experience seggsual pleasure without the commitment. But you can do that with your own hand and a toy. And with hooking up with a person, the cons outweigh the pros, and self pleasure definitely seems like the preferable option. Here are some examples.
1. A toy isn’t going to give you an STD (so long as you keep in clean!) and the likelihood is you know where it’s been.
2. A toy isn’t going to get you pregnant/become pregnant.
3. A toy isn’t going to SA you or falsely accuse you of SA.
4. There is no confusion re consent with a toy.
5. There is no chance of you or the toy catching feelings that aren’t reciprocated.
There are probably more but I can’t think of them off the top of my head. And yes you may well get more of a ‘human connection’ with a hook up, but isn’t the point of hooking up the lack of commitment, so if you’re seeking human connection, shouldn’t you be dating or looking for something more permanent?
Basically this.
Eh I have mixed feelings on the idea of looking for something more permanent or commitment. I think there can be many valid personal reasons for not wanting that.
I think where my mixed feelings come from is that not every relationship may not fit into a clean box. Some might be on the more platonic side, some might be poly, some might be a two person marriage or something similar, etc.
I am someone on the aromantic spectrum, and like, I can experience romantic attraction but it happens so little for me. And like, idk, it’s difficult wanting to still have sex and experience sexual desire but not really fitting into that mold of being unable to like have that picturesque romantic relationship everyone expects for that if you know what I mean?
That is to say, I think there should be room to explore what works for you romantic or sexual wise, without feeling the a pressure to fit a mold or be one thing or another. We all have our own unique experiences and views so it makes sense to me that things like sex or romance may look different for each person.
@@Mythic_Fire the examples you have given don’t sound like hookups to me tbh. How important is the human connection part of it to you?
I don't understand what's confusing about your last question. You can want a warm body and fun human interaction and not want to have a relationship with that person. I don't know why that would warrant anything more permanent than one night. Most people aren't looking to build a future with every person they find attractive.
a toy isn't warm, doesn't cum, does not let you experience interacting with new people
I dislike the idea that you can only either be celibate or play in hookup culture. Surely there’s a happy medium?
“Demisexual” means only having sex with people you have romantic feelings towards. I think that’s probably the happy medium?
Internet doesn't want that
I'm sure there is but men haven't changed. Women had a recent sexual revolution and the men have not. We can't have actual change if only one party is doing the work.
it is . Sometimes can happen you have few casual meetings here and there and it is normal but also you are capable to have a serious relationship. People don t know balance.
A small nuance I think this video missed is that Gen Z has been the least sexually generation for a while now, even before the popularization of the celibacy movement. It's not super uncommon to find someone in their early to mid-20s who's never had sex, or never even dated. I don't think the issue is just the depersonalization of meeting new people and coming off the sexual revolution. I think Gen Z is generally going out and meeting people a lot less than our older peers.
The celibacy movement makes me nervous for the same reason it does Madisyon. It's too much of a swing in the other direction, especially in a time where abortion is a no-go in many US states and people have been threatening access to birth control. I fear that we could have our rights taken away, and a few people would really care because "Oh, I wasn't going to have sex, anyway."I remember that upon the appeal of Roe, known misogynist and transphobe, Matt Walsh said it was a good thing that women were "saving themselves for marriage." This pivot can lead to just as much control over women as the sexual revolution.
A smaller issue I have, one that might end up being non-existent is how this could affect lesbianism. I noticed in the video that people are keeping celibacy and decentralizing men were seen as things in cohesion with each other. The sex being described sounded largely penetrative. With the rise of the 2B movement, which is basically just Korean political lesbianism, it makes me wonder if women are going to start "prison ruling" sh*t. If a bunch of women are going to be trapped in unfulfilling sexual relationships with other women because they no longer see men as an option. Again, it could end up not being an issue, but I wonder.
This is all a result of the main failure of movements. If you want to sway a crowd or a larger society, you have to do a sales pitch, essentially. "Buy our deodorant because it's just as good as Old Spice and Dove" is a weak sales pitch. You have to list reasons why your deodorant is BETTER than Old Spice and Dove. The scent is more floral and pugnant, it comes in a bigger container than other brands, and it lasts 72 hours as opposed to 48 hours. That's why you should buy our deodorant. You can just say, be more sexually active or non-monogamous if that's who you are. Neutrality doesn't sell. People want to feel like they're part of something. Like they're making smarter decisions than the people around them. You have to say, "Be more sexually active to piss off your conservative hometown. Be non-monogamous so you're not constrained or trapped."
sex is a spiritual practice for me that goes way beyond the physical aspect. its a bonding moment and you should only share it with somebody you are emotionally invested in. I had one ons in my life and never felt so shallow and weird afterwards. never again!
flesruoy llik.
Same! That’s why I’d wait forever until it would feel right. It’s so much deeper than what is seems
@@ville__ ?????
yes this!! sex is more than just physical to me. i would rather be alone forever than hookup with random men for 5 minutes of pleasure lol
@@ville__ hello...?
Celibacy isn't my choice as a lesbian. I haven't ever gotten the chance to have sex or even kissed a woman. I'm 23 and I feel like a failure. 6 years of absolutely nothing intimate. I feel passively suicidal evey week and sometimes every day. I don't understand how anybody would choose celibacy. Touch starvation feels like a weird type of hell. An absence from good. When babies are left alone for long amounts of time it stunts their brains. And that's how I feel. Stunted and stuck.
I’m in the same position. Stay strong. 😥
Me too! I've never seen a youtube comment more relatable than this but STAY STRONG!!
flesruoy llik.
You might need to join a dating app in this case.
Geez you guys don't have things to entertain yourselves? I lived years without any hugs or kisses and was fine. The more you obsess over something the more you will want it.
I remember when I first heard about sex-positive feminism and women having casual hookups just like men. My friend was trying to sell me on how “liberating” it was, and all I could think was “Yeah, sure, but isn’t that exactly what men want from us? Sex without any expectations or commitment?” I couldn’t help but notice how all of my friends would pine after their “casual hookups” and feel used when the guy didn’t reciprocate their feelings. Then, I saw research suggesting that most women don’t even have an orgasm during casual sexual encounters. That’s when I knew it was all a scam. I’m glad more women are waking up to this.
If all women were as “pure” as the driven snow until daddy and God allowed them to marry women would not have been sent to “houses of ill repute” when they got pregnant out of wedlock, before they started to show, and forced to give their babies up for adoption (even when they desperately wanted them).
The idea that all were is a work of fiction that is as delusional as the belief that the 1950s = the peak of happiness for all Americans (as long as they were white, straight, upper middle class and formerly virginal until marriage).
NGL i don’t have casual sx with males anymore bc they NEVER make me c$m fr.. unless they eat me out before going in 😭 it’s like every girly understands Why FAKE IT GIRLS WHY EVEN DO IT.
the problem is not the hooking up itself, is patriarchy that together with current ''hooking up culture'' creates a cocktail of sex where one of the persons (more often the men) does not fully see the other one a human and therefore exploits them on a sexual and emotional way (more often the women). It makes me angry and sad that women end up in a point where they choose celibacy instead of us actually being able for once to experience our sexuality however we want without patriarchy putting it's heavy foot on it. Also lets not forget patriarchy has a foot on serious relationships aswell and there is a bunch of abusive dynamics inside relationships. Feels rather hopeless.
My god, you're so right about everything, but particularly how the apps try to deceive you and get you hooked on a dopamine rush by at first boosting your profile so you get a bunch of matches. Then they pull that away. Like, how could I ever trust a service which is blatantly manipulating me into feeling awful? Like the fact that this feature is essentially coded into the app makes it hostile and not conducive to love, you know the supposed whole point. Really these apps are just spyware, it's another way of selling your data, plus they psychologically torture dudes basically by shoving paid services down their throat. Like nothing makes me feel worse than denying a 'super like' because I know the person fucking paid for it, it's awful.
flesruoy llik.
@@ville__ lmaoo wtf are you Bumble ceo's burner account? XD
@@ville__ Dude you go into youtube comments and bait hostile interactions for fun. You first
you're a furry
flesruoy llik..
Recently visited my family in Japan and was shocked many of the recently married cousins found their spouses through dating apps. Including Tinder! Keep in mind Japanese society are serious when it comes to dating leading to marriage. I had a few members who had a child with their partner and married that same partner around a year later. These partners were varied from Japanese to European and East European. So dating cultures and these apps vary greatly in other countries.
North America and Western European have this weird obsession I thinking everything in the world should follow in their footsteps. There are several cultures in the world in which people still believe in creating families.
Same goes for Mexico.
Yeah US we are so individualized that it makes it hard to create healthy relationships even in friendships bc we make Everything about ourselves but expect everyone else to cater to us when then they we should cater to them 😂. That’s why I enjoy my own company and nurture the few relationships I have now
To be fair japan is also extremely racist in toxic in their own ways especially the work culture.
@@TristenKnibb-hx4xj Racist and toxic yet they have economic results that Black peoples s a collective do not have and I’m Black.
My girlfriend has been victimized multiple times in her life, both by men and women. Her mother, who we both hate for good reason, tried to force her to be lesbian even tho she isn't. She was r*ped by her step father as a kid. I feel horrible for her. I try to comfort her. But anyways, she went celibate for years until she met me. We've only just recently gotten to the point where we can have sex without it triggering her ptsd. I'm proud of her though. She's overcoming her fears. I know this is unrelated, i just felt like talking about this because I'm proud of her for making progress. I myself have been s aed. When i was 12, I was assaulted by a 33 year old woman. So it's also something I'm working on overcoming. I'm sharing all this cuz i just want someone to read it all and maybe learn from it or be inspired by it.
I’m really sorry to hear about both your experiences, and I’m so happy to hear you both are doing better as well! So glad you found each other and created your own little safe haven, hope you two are always happy and safe ❤
@dariabaikova973 thank you I'll tell my gf samara about this reply
your sentiment at the end reminds me a lot of the b4 movement happening in south korea ! the men in their culture are insanely misogynistic that have no desire to change, and so women have opted to abstain from any and all romantic and sexual relationships with men. it's really interesting to see women in the western world start to adopt similar ideas and just goes to show that no matter where you are, misogyny really ruins everything for everyone.
i live in Seoul, South Korea. People don t marry that much anymore but nah many many are coupled and the single ones engage in the hookup culture. Bursting a bubble here.
@@roxyglow9670 i can definitely acknowledge that 100%, just like despite how a growing number of women here in the US are choosing celibacy there r still plenty of women that actively date and hookup. i just wanted to point out the similarities between the rise in ppl choosing celibacy in the west and the b4 movement in sk as a response to the patriarchy. i just think it’s interesting over all. although the b4 movement is not very big, it is however very radical and i feel like it’s worth mentioning in discussions like these.
The movement aint that big, remember social media and reality aint the same. A bunch of ppl have rants, monologues about being celibate hating hookup culture and they go straight back into it. Social media is just a snapshot of reality, ppl are still hooking up
Being a demisexual in a hookup culture has ironically made it *more* difficult for me to engage in sex. It's rare that I meet someone I'm sexually attracted to (I've gone two years, and as many as five years, without even meeting anyone I was seriously interested in), and even once I do meet someone, that doesn't mean they'll be patient or understanding about me not wanting to jump into bed right away. Adding to that difficulty is the fact that I have a very specific type of guy I'm attracted to. So far, none of those crushes have worked out or gone on long enough for me to have slept with anyone. It's been difficult being 33 and not having sexual experience/achieving milestones society assumes everyone has achieved by my age. And I don't see it changing, since I don't ever meet people IRL (I work from home most days) and dating apps are terrible. I'm trying to get to a place where I can accept that I might not have those experiences, or that it may take a long time to get there, and it's okay.
Bumble can suck it with those billboards. They need to develop their friendship app more, but it sucks. I have so many ideas that could make it better, easily!!! These app could help build community, but they’re too greedy to think creatively.
Asexual guy here.
I've never been able to view sex as anything but a physical need.
I don't view it as a romantic act or an act of love, simply a need. A need that rarely ever comes up.
But, from what it seems, many use sex as their way of connecting with the world or view it as some sort of spiritually freeing experience or a value to gain.
I've talked to guys and girls in my country, and a very good number of them immediately brought up sex in one way or another.
All in all, I think we should stop using sex as a tool to escape from our problems and neuroticism.
Fellow ace here, and I agree 100000%
49:50 "It doesnt feel good to feel used even if you were the one who chose to experience it" oof. This hits hard for me. The whole Tumblr sex positive ideology and all. Was a wild time to come out as gay to say the least 🌈
i turned my porn addiction to a serious sex addiction when i found out about dating apps. i would meet up with strangers just for the thrill of it! i have gotten into my first serious relationship since i stopped using them, worked on myself and going to sex therapy and sex addicts anonymous support groups, and it was the most difficult transition in my life. people who participate in hookup culture never emphasize how truly empty you feel and how those experiences can affect you and whatever partner you have in the future. the ghosts in my bed still sing to me at night, and i can never get away from the experiences i had with people who didn’t deserve it. whatever people say about those dating apps, it’s worse. they prey on people who see sex as a tool, as nothing serious, and uses it against them to keep their money flowing. this is a serious problem and i’m glad others are waking up to it. thank you for making this video.
Have you looked into the fact that p*rn addiction isn’t recognized by any medical professional body?
People can most definitely think/feel they have an issue, and they should seek help if they believe it is hindering their life.
That said, it is most often related to poor time management, as opposed to an “addiction”. Self pleasure and intercourse are not drugs.
The people most likely to claim it is an addiction are religious fundamentalists who feel and promote guilt and shame.
What they report as “addiction” most often does not come close to “addiction” on diagnostic inventories.
David Ley and Nicole Prouse do fantastic work and research in this field.
They, along with others, have found that claims of “addiction” are often related to other issues entirely.
An excess of the addiction rhetoric revolves around falsehoods about the “pleasure drug”. Aka the perfectly natural hormone that we have called dopamine.
It is not only released during moments of pleasure and it does not control your every thought and move.
@@pollysshore2539 yes, i learned that through my own journey of self love and self discovery. i learned that it wasn’t necessarily my sexual appetite, more so the use and disregard of my physical and emotional health as well as the disregard for the people around me. it took a lot to unlearn and relearn all of the conversations i’ve had around my addictions, as well as the narrative that sex can’t be addicting, which is somewhat untrue, as it releases just as much dopamine as any drug that anyone takes recreationally.
I'm very much not the target demographic of all that, but those ads are just so hillariously desperate. 'Nooo, please don't stop having sex, our income depeds on that', like be for real, this is pathetic.
I feel like what a lot of people get wrong with societal progression is that the goal isn’t necessarily to force a new idea or concept into normality but instead build/unlock doors to those concepts and give people the knowledge and opportunity to choose whether or not they want to step through that door or not.
I kinda wish more people would see the gray side of things, not just black and white. It can't be "you cannot do ANYTHING EVER" but it shouldn't be "you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT AND WHENEVER, WHEREVER YOU WANT". there's time and place for certain kinds of outfits and attitudes. it's also not just about the clothes but how people behave. there's an epidemic of "I don't owe anyone anything" but in reality, we kinda do. we for sure owe people respect and treating them good. unelss they treat us poorly for no reason then yeah, fuck them. but it's gotten to the point when people are just mean for no reason, unprovoked. good example is Twitter. God forbid you don't agree with one extreme side, the other will END YOU. and most of the time it's not even that serious
But the woman who made this video kind of dodged the whole outfit thing with the school example. It's one of my only major problems with the video. In the 2010s the fashion industry was pushing incredibly sexualized, revealing outfits on literal 12 year old girls. They were being dress coded when they wore these incredibly revealing things at a young age in like the middle of winter at times. And yet the fashion industry wasn't the one facing scrutiny from feminists. It was (sometimes female) school staff and administrators being accused of "thinking like a pedophile" and being misogynists for enforcing dress codes. This was a huge failure of 2010s feminism, and I'm glad it's finally being called out, although I hope it doesn't swing to the other extreme and we get girls being vilified for showing their ankles or something. But I'm happy to see some discussion as even growing up then I really questioned this aspect of the feminist movement and I think a lot of the girls from that era are now women, having younger siblings or maybe even working at schools and are seeing again girls as young as 12 or 11 wearing what they were wearing then at the same age back in the 2010s and realizing "Oh wait, maybe I wasn't a feminist bravely fighting against the patriarchy of my female middle school principal at that age, maybe I was manipulated by an actually misogynist predatory corporate fashion industry at the time, the same way girls today are."
@@ethanjobson3879 I totally understand what you mean and I agree with you. I just didn't experience it to the extent you're saying. I grew up in Poland in the early 2000s (I was born in the year 2000) and when I was growing up, kids weren't wearing anything inappropriate. Looking at my childhood photos I didn't see anything revealing and that was the case for most kids. Just a pair of shorts and a short sleeved shirt when it was hot. Still, at school we were weirdly dress coded when I was in junior high school or in HS. God forbid we wore a shirt with straps, even thick ones. But I guess it was how fashion was and how the things in small towns here were
@@user-dh8nt5mj5t Yeah men got the dress code for wearing any kind of tank tops, which were nowhere near as revealing as what many girls were getting away with wearing but that kind of thing was ignored by feminists at the time.
Millennial here. Did the dating app thing for years, hopping from one frustrating situationship to another. Eventually grew sick of it and decided to take a year break from it all. Been single and celibate for 4 years now and never been happier!
I’m 24 and had a short lived hookup phase a couple years ago where I was talking to a bunch of guys on dating apps. I only got as far as hooking up with one guy, who would often tell me that he sees us dating or whatever after we had sex. At this time, I had gotten out of a relationship so I was lonely and hurting. Hooking up with this person made me feel awful and worse than the breakup itself. When that guy ghosted me, I promised myself the next time I’m having sex, its going to be with someone that I have a deep love for. Learned my lesson once and never again will I hook up with randos I don’t know well or have a deep connection to. Luckily, I’ve been with my boyfriend of a year and all I’m saying is, it’s worth waiting for that special someone who respects your body and loves you for you.
k. yeah no one cares about your sob story.
@@Musashi1611I do
@@Musashi1611nobody cares about you, male
@@Musashi1611😂😂😂
@@Musashi1611 The whole point of having a comment section is so there is a conversation relating to the video's content. If their story aligns with the main sentiment of the video and contributes to the discussion, then who are you to tell them no one cares? At least the comment they left actually helped to open up a dialogue about sexuality and celibacy. They contributed useful information. You contributed nothing and chose to just be a hater. If you don't care, get out of the comments bro 😭😭Not that difficult!!
I’ve tried dating apps for friends before (because I’m not interested in dating right now) and the functions don’t exist for friendships at all.
I used sex for validation and to feed my eating disorder. When men said “I love your body” it made me want to get thinner. When I’m not manic I get constant ptsd from my assault but when I’m manic it just feeds into all of my mental health issues. My ex gave me an std and he didn’t care and knew nothing about stds and I had to educate him on what it was. Then when he said “well how do you know it was from me it’s been 3 months” I told him he was the last person I slept with and he has it. Then he started to freak out. I then realized men do not care unless it impacts them. I realized that men that just want to hookup don’t give a shit unless it impacts them. Bc of that I’ve decided to be abstinent until I’m in a relationship bc everytime I hooked up with someone it validated how thin I was and my over exercising. Ever since I’ve stopped hooking up with ppl my eating disorder has slowly started to go away and I’m so much happier. I genuinely think hookup culture is toxic because I only wanted to do it bc “well this is what everyone is doing” and my hypersexualitu from my mental disorders that men were aware of and I would talk about and they wouldn’t care. Like I understood we weren’t in a relationship but the responsible thing to do would be to stop and realize that I’m not okay and that they shouldn’t sleep with me. I just sucks bc this hookup culture has gotten me into so many terrible situations. Most of the time the men become super infatuated with me and obsessed. But they don’t care about me as a person. It sucks
want to be friends
15:14 Just a little addition here:
-The European middle ages knew actual wife, side chick, unfree woman x free man and actually abducted wife "marriages". These all were practiced. So while sex outside of marriage was a no-no thing to do, people just had different forms of marriages which catered to the wills of free men. Very convenient.
-The Church actually regulated and forbade the most abusive ones, especially unfree and abducted women to be married. The traditional vows in Christian marriages stem from there. While marrying just meant that your rights, money, and boduly autonomy went from your father to your husband, your children had way more rights if you were married the official way, and a priest had to hear you say "yes" to the marriage
21:00 I recommend Stefan Zweig's "The World of Yesterday", the chapter on sexuality in the mid-1800s Austria upper class. It's so wild. As in, women were for real taught to never be naked unless with husband, not taught about sex at all, while the men slept with worling class women, didn't marry them of course, and spread STDs.
i'm still following my belief since i was a young teen: sex = babies, so if i'm not emotionally prepared for babies, then i'm certainly not prepared for an intimate relationship. And if i can't see myself able to raise a metaphorical family with a guy if an accident were to happen, then i have no business getting into bed with him, which might sound extreme but i view sex as an incredibly intimate experience (it's physically the closest you can be with someone, it requires a lot of trust and security, it's how life is brought into the world etc) which in itself holds greater value than just to have a simple hookup with a stranger. As i understand, it's not something you satiate, but something you build towards. But to each their own of course, personally im happy to wait. If i don't end up with my "special someone" then that's okay too, because it would be meaningless to have sex just to get it over with, not to mention emotionally devastating
That's how I see sex as well. If someone has sex, then the people should come to terms that children and parenthood is basically the logical conclusion of that. Now, if only men got the program, alot less deadbeat dads would exist!
@Dave102693 cheers to that!!!
My thoughts exactly.
@@Dave102693why is it called deadbeat dads? no native english speaker😅
not extreme at all. you just have common sense. everyone else is followers. having values seems extreme in a value-less society
I see this happening with a lot of things, where people are realizing that not every single part of a conservative belief is wrong. Yes, unfettered, unrestricted sex is not great for society, or ones own mental health. This whole thing has been to the benefit of very few men who basically have been able to have sex on-demand, and few women who are very happy with and prefer hookups and never want to be in a relationship. For the rest of us it just really, really sucks.
You hit the nail on the head, wish it worked in a way where everyone could find what they want without it affecting anyone else. Ppl who love three ways and hookups go on do their thing, those who want affection and are more monogamous lover types end up finding their own ppl. But it seems cultural trends like this end up impacting the entire dating scene in general, with some losing and others winning from it.
Is funny to me that people have to unlearn is either go full tilt one way or the other.
The hookup culture benefits only men, because it devorces them from the minimal responsibility they used to have way back when. Men have to get it into their thick heads that noone likes a malewhore.
@@kelechi_77 seriously, I feel bad for everyone, especially women because if they want a serious relationship and want to wait to put out they all think they’re competing with other women who will put out faster so there’s like a crazy pressure to do something you don’t want to do super fast. Idk how to fix that tbh.
A lot of the rhetoric around Bush era purity ball type culture, even if it wasn't executed in a great way/was used just to make girls feel shitty about itself I have noticed making a comeback among Gen Z who didn't experience these arguments when they were teens in the mid to late 2010s.
I’ve been celibate for almost 8 months, mainly because I’m not ready to move on sexually from my last relationship. BUT in doing this I realised how scared I am to start dating again because I don’t trust that men have good intentions. There’s too many risks to me, like male ‘banter’ about sexual encounters, leaking nudes, filming sex without consent, stealthing, STD dishonesty. It’s a minefield
Years ago I tried bumble and people asked how I liked it and my response was always "oh I just have to message first to get the unwanted 🍆 pics." LOL
😂
I’m 22 - never dated etc and im sure a reason why is because I’ve never been on dating apps. And then nobody approaches anyone really these days so yeah 😃
That's a good thing, now women don't have to deal with awkward approaches anymore
This video honestly made me feel better about being single for so long. I feel lonely, but I also feel my heart is too fragile to keep going on these apps. Thank you 💜
No because I remember that one period like a couple years ago when underaged girls were casually talking about getting OFs when they turn 18.
I was one who actually made it, I don’t regret it ALL but it definitely left some type of feeling and it just makes you numb to sex or sexual stuff..
I was THAT girl.. as soon as I turned 18 I made a OF and till this day (21) use only fans to pay some bills or when I want to guilty spend. I lost my bf during the time I was 18 and making the account because he didn’t approve.. that I will say IT was a LOSS :( but since him I’ve had relationships here and there and none of those guys ever could imagine what I did on the side.. lol but to be FAIR alll males (all ages and all races) have, are going to OR want to do something that would leave you thinking.. SO it plays out!
i did do this, and as a trans person it was dehumanizing in so many different sexual aspects
I’m just hoping someone’s choice to be celibate isn’t going to have negative affects. Like I’m for it because I relate to a number of these because I went through dealing with exes telling me sex was a thing older women did and I was equivalent of a child when I was struggling to understand if I want it. It’s like the sex conversations always go through these extremes and it’s frustrating. It’s not about boredom anymore it’s just complete rage and frustration.
I now want it and now this happening. I’m so done with everyone’s multiple variations of understanding of the world. I’m becoming done with all these statements
Younger generations really need to learn to just do what works for you and screw what everyone else thinks instead of feeling they need to align with some current movement.
34:20 is actually a pretty funny take
Because in all honesty, "appropriate for work" is such a layered phrase for interrogation.
Who defines what appropriate businesswear is, and what makes that standard anything but arbitrary knee-jerk responses to discomfort? The idea that dressing 'appropriately' somehow makes someone more or less capable of actually completing a task doesn't logically hold up outside of Personal Protective Equipment for particularly hazardous locations, but otherwise a person's outfit has truly minimal reflection of their capability as a worker.
I feel like not having sex until you feel safe is important. It is amazing to me that we still get the surprised pikachu face of people being like 'why aren't you having sex?" and it's like, 'didn't you tell people to be abstinent? isn't this what you wanted?' and the response seems to be 'yeah but not to *me*" @_@'
I also feel like the recent abortion bans and limitations to women’s healthcare have created a more intense fear of consequences like pregnancy and single motherhood. I know even having a boyfriend the bans have made me more fearful of sex in some ways because I know I’m not in a financial position to carry a child and am scared if something goes wrong I will end up dying of sepsis somehow because I live in a state with barely any exceptions to the ban. I think most women now would rather prioritize their health and well being than risk their future and safety for a man that’s probably not worth it anyway.
i think the scope of this is waaaaaaaay smaller than its being framed as here. theres definitely this phenomenon of people who only use social media and dating apps who think their experience is very representative of dating in the modern day when its just not. i also think its a bit silly to be saying 'dating apps are just for hookups!' in the year of our lord 2024 like its some revelation. most people who are getting into good relationships aren't doing trial and error with dating apps. like its not impossible, but most healthy relationships are born through friendships and connections, like having a class with someone and beginning to talk with no initial intentions of forming a romantic relationship. i really think this is common knowledge and people usually see through the bs of dating app ads, but a lot of people just cant accept that its slow and organic and would rather keep throwing sh1t at the wall til something sticks. i feel like this is less of a 'the entire situation with dating as a woman right now sucks' thing and more of a 'theres women out there with a skewed perception of how healthy relationships form' thing
This video isnt exactly explaining the flaws in "the sexual revolution," so much as it's examining "capitalist recuperation of the sexual revolution," which isn't a bad premise for a video in my opinion, but leveling the accusations at people's idea of agency as opposed to the myriad ways companies are trying to profit off the status quo is a strange angle to frame this video through.
It wasn't the sexual revolution that lied to women, that was the institution attempting to take the teeth out of the idea of personal agency by commodifying human relationships.
👏
well said. couldn't agree more. the problem is not the hooking up itself, is patriarchy that together with current ''hooking up culture'' creates a cocktail of sex where one of the persons (more often the men) does not fully see the other one a human (just something to consumre) and therefore exploits them on a sexual and emotional way (more often the women). It makes me angry and sad that women end up in a point where they choose celibacy instead of us actually being able for once to experience our sexuality however we want without patriarchy putting it's heavy foot on it. Also lets not forget patriarchy has a foot on serious relationships aswell and there is a bunch of abusive dynamics inside relationships.
Wow this was one of teh best videos you've made. Highly relate to the rejection of that desire to seek love/relationship by ourselves because it feels almost 'regressive' to care.
The biggest takeaway I had from this video is how it’s all a cycle. I tell people this all the time. Things to have an overcorrection in societal trends
hook ups are WAY less enjoyable than being intimate with someone you genuinely love.
I'm inclined to draw attention to the differences between a home cooked meal and a combo from the local McRestaraunt.
One may be more fulfilling, healthier in the long term, and overall satisfying. But it also requires laying out significantly more groundwork than swiping left for a week and praying.
One thing I believe plays a massive role in this is the fact that people are generally more lonely nowadays than in the past, in my opinion if most people had at least 3-5 close friendships which who they could routinely spend their time with and made them feel loved and valued, then many people would not be engaging in hookup culture at all.
Margaret Sanger did a little bit more than just that LOL
I hooked up with sm guys in high school because everyone was doing it. Being the only girl at the party/concert without a guy all over you was so isolating and hurt your confidence. So not only were guys using me, I was using guys to seem cool and attractive. The whole culture of it left me with harmful views it’s taken years to unpack, let alone having to realize Ive been lesbian this whole time. I’m so glad we’re talking abt this so hopefully teens of the future won’t go through hookup culture
I’ve been waiting for this
My only gripe with this (I'm 29) is that with almost every form or wave of "liberation" there comes a time where it gets OVERsaturated and it bogs down and sometimes, completely forgets the original meaning of the movement. Like saying "oh teenagers see the liberating sex convos and in turn they get taken advantage of" is missing a lot of the key components of WHY that happens. you're a teenager (brain isn't even close to being completely developed), you're probably not getting the full conversation, and you don't understand the nuance around it because you only see these "conversations" online and on social media. So I don't think the movement of sexual liberation is wrong its the way people interacted with it. A lot of the time people get these fast food servings of liberation movements and don't do enough of the deep dive to understand there's more to it. A lot of teens and younger folks are usually the victims of this and the horrid people who take advantage of that suck.
Also I'm seeing in the comments A LOT of you younger generation folk have a really bad and negative outlook on sex by experiences from online and Im so sorry for that.
Wish there were better outlets for you to get the info you need and how things work. Cause its troubling having a weird relationship with sex and can breed to a lot of problems later on in life.
I’m queer and polyamorous, I have sex all the time with like 3-5 different ppl. I don’t feel used for sex, I don’t use dating apps. I met my boyfriend the old-fashioned way: at a queer bathhouse where sex is the norm and safe sex is the priority.
do you want to be friends
I've always struggled with dating apps, one of the main reasons why is being asexual. The constant push for sex and hook-ups is just not what I want, but it feels like the only option to find people.
50:57 about how its uncool to want love and a boyfriend and something serious is a sentiment i never realized was sooo ubiquitous among women until i started college and a lot of my friends and other girls i met would talk about how they do things “for the plot” but “deep down” theyre lover girls and how they basically try to supress their want for serious relationships bc basically it isnt “cool” :( like damn just do whatever you want and whatever makes you actually happy who cares what the girlies are saying on tt 😭😭😭
I'd rather be alone. Was on dating apps on & off for 3 years.
The men were not great, only after one thing. It's changed my outlook on men. They disgust me. Never participated in hookups with them. I don't understand the concept of laying down with someone you don't know for me personally. If you can then do you.
all men bad real
the problem is not the hooking up itself, is patriarchy that together with current ''hooking up culture'' creates a cocktail of sex where one of the persons (more often the men) does not fully see the other one a human and therefore exploits them on a sexual and emotional way (more often the women). It makes me angry and sad that women end up in a point where they choose celibacy instead of us actually being able for once to experience our sexuality however we want without patriarchy putting it's heavy foot on it. Also lets not forget patriarchy has a foot on serious relationships aswell and there is a bunch of abusive dynamics inside relationships.
@@autosofiaciente theres no patriarchy in the US everyone has equal rights u dum
I’m so grateful that we are all getting to this place together.. it helps create a sense of community when you’re not going through things alone. I desire a relationship and sex isn’t a relationship.. so much therapy and hugs for my former self who was a Samantha, a sexual doormat for men who did not truly value me. *sigh* why is this so hard? And stupid?
Definitely 2009 freshman in college, I fell for the “you’re liberated now”
This was so thoroughly research and well done. Thank you for addressing this topic!!
Two years ago i broke up with my boyfriend cause I thought I wanted some free time. After a year I realized that I hated situationships, casual sex and no afection. Eventually we got back together and I feel more in love with him knowing now he really is one of a kind.
flesruoy llik..
@@ville__ you go first. I'll follow.
boy friend is
me
@@sofiarestaino6537I think it’s a bot, I’ve seen those replies under a bunch of comments
Ive never really had a hoe phase. Its not that I didn't try, l just didn't like it. I was uncomfortable the entire time. I didn't really like my partners, so it made it harder for me to really feel connected to them and fully enjoy the experience. I also didn't like having to "learn" a new guy body and hope he wants to learn my body back. Everyone is different, different strokes for different folks. 😂
Ive always viewed the vertical tango as an intimate, personal experience between (atleast) two people who want the best experience for the other person. Imo it takes ALOT of trust amd relationship building between my partner and I. I don't settle for less.
Id much rather have adult fun time with someone who I know with 10 times then have it with 10 people I don't know one time.
sounds like sexual liberation worked out for you as intended. you had the option to explore without being shamed for it, found you didn't enjoy casual sex and opted out.
I’m turning 32 this week. So, I’m older. I’m still single and I chose celibacy this year. I’ve used dating apps on and off since my early 20s. It’s gotten so much worse throughout the years. In 2013-2015 it was mostly young actual singles. Now, I see a lot more cheating individuals. Plus, the rise of crime on these sites is so insane.
This video was incredibly validating. Thank you much 💕
Dis page is my inspiration for content creation you’re really good at what you do. I hope it makes you happy so you never stop.
Y’all can still just go on dates without the hooking up and have fun and get to know each other and most likely y’all will go out again and again and build something. I think people need to date for: “ would I be with this person seriously?” It makes things easier and less complicated.
This is the mindset a lot of women have, men, not so much :( and it's like if you don't show immediate sexual interest guys think you're a prude or you're not interested in getting to know someone. Or guys make you feel like if there's not a hookup possibility in it for them after a date, the date isn't worth it. I've never had someone offer to take me on an honest to God date off one of these apps.
@@erinwantenaar7206 that’s fine! You weed out all the lame pieces of crap and find a man who is also in the mindset and it most likely won’t be on a dating app.
Most men on these apps dont want to do dates at all. It’s rare to be asked on a genuine date and not just a movie at their place or to smoke/drink if you do those things. Cause when I was first on dating apps, I wasn’t thinking about sex and hooking up but genuinely meeting people to see if a serious relationship was possible
@@erinwantenaar7206 What you're talking about is only a certain group of straight men.
Not every person is interested in dating.
As a dude who has used dating apps, they suck. It feels really hard to genuinely connect with someone through a simplified profile, and it also feels weird to ask someone on a date through it because they can’t ever know how trustworthy the person on the other end is. At this point it’s not even worth putting in the effort using the apps
Being assaulted by a majority of my dates def says a lot I didn't even have it for 6 months b4 I completely gave up on them 90% of the dudes I met on there were like the worse mistakes of my life
I wish people could just do what they wanted when it came to consenting sex without judgement either way. I think this is a fine decision and people should definitely make it if they don’t want to hookup like that but I still will fear the rise of purity culture again. As long as we’re not going to get back into slutshaming, it’s good. But considering we have such a huge problem with critical thinking, I’m afraid the pendulum will just swing back and forth instead of settling in the middle.
exactly, the problem is not the hooking up itself, is patriarchy that together with current ''hooking up culture'' creates a cocktail of sex where one of the persons (more often the men) does not fully see the other one a human and therefore exploits them on a sexual and emotional way (more often the women). It makes me angry and sad that women end up in a point where they choose celibacy instead of us actually being able for once to experience our sexuality however we want without patriarchy putting it's heavy foot on it. Also lets not forget patriarchy has a foot on serious relationships aswell and there is a bunch of abusive dynamics inside relationships.
it worries me a lot too as someone who is still lives in a christian fundamentalist household that cares about this alot but also understands how far men (bc homo is illegal here) can take "keeping things casual" and discard basic human decency
Honestly, I'm happy more women are doing this, because maybe it will force more men to not seek validation from sex and focus on themselves and what makes them happy. True equality is nobody needing validation from anyone. The sooner we get to that place, the better.
We all need validation. It's apart of being human.
My fear of this narrative is how it doesn't solve the root problem being loneliness. People are starting for more intimate and meaningful relationships in their lives. The solution isn't to "focus in yourself".
@@STARK0181 That's an interesting take. We're just going to have to agree to disagree. You have to know how to love yourself so that you know how to love/be loved by others. And that's going to take some self-focusing. I want to one day live in a society where men and women just exist with each other, and no one is expecting anything from the other because of societal pressures.
@@user-rv3xn3ki1u Your relationships with others are always going to be a huge component component as to how you view yourself and your place in society. The happiest people on have a strong network of friends, family, and in many cases romantic partners who love and support them.
Hence, You can't just say " learn to love yourself" like you exist in a vacuum. At the end of the day we are social creatures. That's why we yearn for attention, validation, and affection from others. Theres nothing inherently wrong with this, the main problem we have is people looking for it in the wrong places.
@@STARK0181 Yeah, I know we're social creatures lol. I never said I wanted us to live by ourselves. You focus on yourself to figure shit out. Where your priorities lie. You'd have an easier time building strong relationships with other people. I honestly think we're saying the same thing, just from different angles if that makes sense.
@@user-rv3xn3ki1u Not really. When people say "focus on yourself" or "figure your self out". There is an element of isolation in that advice. This is why that advise is appealing to people who've be hurt or rejected
To be chartibile, I think that can be a good thing in micro/short term doses , but macro/ long term it's just not optimal.
The best way to build healthier relationships with other people is to focus more on other people. Be a better listener. Try improve the lives of others instead of just your own. Read books like Dale Carnegie. That's how you build better relationships.
This video was literally SUCH a mood! You explore and discuss the topic with so much finesse and I applaud you ❤👏👏👏
Another banger! Thank you for this.
I don't understand people who would pay for premium dating apps continuously if they see it doesn't really work for the better.
Who in their right mind would pay an app to find them the prince(ss) charming 😂😂😂
I wanted 1 boyfriend before I turn 30 and take that as far it goes. I'm coming on 29 now and packing up early. Being ordered off an app and delivering myself like ubereats isn't my idea of romance. I said if it didn't happen by now it won't and in this climate would I even want it to?
That is such a good analogy. I met all of my long term relationships with zero dating. We just liked each other and talked some. then did it again and again until something grew. Dating sucks and if you are happy being single then avoid at all costs. Even if you do want someone at some point, people meet at all stages in their lives
There is just no need to rush or force something because of some arbitrary time line. Sex is like one percent of life, theres a lot else out there to satisfy us.
Good luck out there living your best life.
I ended a 3 year relationship a little over a year ago and have been really enjoying being single. This is the first time I have ever really felt this way before. Prior to this point, I felt like I was 'between relationships' instead of single. I have been going to a therapist, making more friends, expanding my skills, and enjoying my hobbies so much more than ever before. I gave dating apps a few tries and received no matches. I have been told I should model, I had decent pictures and videos, and I had fleshed out prompts that represented myself well (friends confirmed).... but I wasn't able to get a single match after almost 2 months. I thought there was something wrong with me at first, but, after speaking with a lot of friends, many are feeling burnt out. Building my social skills and making friends through my hobbies has left me feeling very fulfilled. The desire to be in a relationship hasn't really returned since my breakup and I am okay with that. It feels good to be free from those desires for the first time in a long time.
Not sure why I bothered to write all of this out, but it feels good to get it out :)
This video gave me so much clarity, I’ve been feeling the same way. 👏