As an empath, and sensitive, I really appreciate your scientific careful explanations with a soft mild voice. Many videos by others in this community are spoken with a loud parenting teaching tone, which i really don't think us survivors need more of in our lives. We've had enough of tough voices during emotional abuse.
Cecilia Caller said well and aligns with my comment above. Many victims of NSP Narcissist, sociopath, psychopath abuse are only led by covert Narcissist into a familiar coral calling it a support site that revolves around them, keeping victims victimized by spewing rage and reliving the abuse only naming it and validating it. Only keeping victims forever victims instead of survivors which are very dangerous platforms in disguise Where they will never recover offering them a space that only says " see your not alone any more" but in reality keep them yet again prisoners in a larger playing field. Beware because these wolfs in sheeps clothing are some of the most dangerous covert NSP's out there. Be careful who you listen to when all that you really walk away from is someone who has a gift for putting your pain and suffering into words. Ask yourself are they helping you see a positive for this massive lesson put before you? Are they offering you a way to make sense of it? A way out? Do they spew anger and rage? Not this girl...she is calm, smart, she did a lot of homework, she is very transparent, knowledgeable and most important... she is a messenger of hope to fly out of the ashes like the Phoenixes we can be, actually better and much wiser then before a new. Yes a part of us must die so we need to bury it once and for all. That is our choice. I am very impressed with her messages. She always ends with a solid option and hope. What a gift and I applaud her!
Yes, though Some of the harsh voices in this community are not narcissists. They just don't know how else to stand out, to sound special, to get subscribers and commenters and viewers. So they scream. which is the easy way. I prefer the soft tone voices; those give a lot more wise and scientific information
going easy 3 years? Mines going on 6 - I only say that because I finally tried Zoloft and it helped a bit. Adderall actually works well for me mentslly but my hair falls out and I break out when I take it. I worked with a nutritionist and there are (maybe) some supplements that help. I know chamomile tea and avoiding gluten improve my mood.
They also record and collect all data & info you share with them, and they will use it against you at the right time, possibly to bring you down or to get back their grip on you
Merlady Neptune I'm aware that this is an old video, but still want to mention that a lot of narcissistic people I've known, including my last ex, genuinely have really bad memories! It would be mainly due to the fact that they've been drinking for many years, which causes memory loss, so they have trouble remembering what I've said, let alone holding it against me. I used to drink a lot as way of coping though and my memory isn't the best either. 🤔
"The one place they cannot get you is in the present" That is so true! I overrode my instincts (that were screaming for me to leave) for 5 years with apologies for the hurtful things done in the past (to get back in the door) and the promises of what the wonderful future had in store for us. Beautiful lies negated by ugly truths. Thank you, again!
You are so welcome, Christy. You are not crazy. But prolonged exposure to a disorder will mess with our perception. Sending you much love on your healing journey!
i left my narc for three weeks, and he was so incredibly upset. I came back, and the first thing he did, was say, "take off your sunglasses. I want you to look me in the eyes so I can say I'm sorry." now I realize that he was putting me into a trance state; and when i think back to the 'apology' i realize it wasn't an apology at all, but rather just him saying he was sorry that I left. Not the same! I stayed for six more months of misery!
Your comment reads of EGO. Maybe he was apologetic, wanted to look you in the eye, love you & make a commitment. But after a week or 2 the relationship went back on the rocks, Label it how you like, relationship incompatibility.
Defences against mesmerism (from Defences Against the Real-World Dark Arts) Do not look into the mesmerist’s eyes but look at the bridge of their nose or just to the side of the right eye. You can train yourself to look people in the eye by looking at your own eyes intently for minutes at a time in a mirror. This is an exercise taught in mesmerism courses. If you have to break the gaze, do it positively, without appearing to give way. Do not slide your eyes away or shift your eyes from one side of the mesmerist’s face to the other, called rabbits’ eyes. Create a distraction. Look the person in the eye more intently and then look up for inspiration or down at your notes or positively at something. And keep looking back at the mesmerist’s eyes intently when making a point but do not hold the gaze and look at the bridge of the nose, or to the corner of the right eye, not into the eye.
He was so proud of his ability of hypnotizing people that he tried to teach me how to do it! So I asked him if he did that to me, (like as if he would honestly tell me) . Of course, he told me that he would never do anything like that to me, because he LOVES ME. Ha! So I know for a fact that what you're saying is correct. Thanks for making people aware of their tricks!
i remember the trance feeling i had in the moments i fell for my narc and i was overwhelmed by the romantic attention. It began on on the third day after i met him. He told everyone around me that i was beautiful. He bought me a rose. and at the end of the evening he kissed me. All of this made my head swim for hours afterward. so much so that when i was taking the train to my hotel in this foreign city a passenger next to me told me to stop daydreaming and focus because the city is dangerous. i was so overwhelmed i also got off at wrong stop. The second trance state was after the first red flag when he got angry for no reason. He sent me a large bunch of red roses with an apology message attached to it. From then on i was hooked. I am a successful, educated person, and very highly empathetic.
I would like to let you know you have really got it right. You have described my relationship to my husband of 15 years to a tee. Thank you so much for the insightful video. By the way I have now woken up and have been seperated from him for two years. No contact has really helped to keep my sanity and keep healing
Thank you Rose! My hope is that my experience can help other people. Great job with going no contact. This is YOUR time, YOUR life. Move towards what feels good and trust that intuition. Sending you much love!
Won't even remember who you were! OMG what makes your messages so different than many other sites is you do not play on staying a victim ruminating over and over around the unjust horrors, spewing anger and rage which only keeps you a victim now run by another covert narcissist only in a new barnyard. You make very clear with research under your belt an open door to jump the fence. Your adamant about not remaining a victim but becoming a true survivor. I too am an aspiring writer... I am...also... the Girl who writes. Thank you for your inspiration.
Amen 🙏 and I thank Jesus for pulling me out of a crazy relationship like what she was in and pray that no one else ever loses who they are even temporarily because of another person that treats anyone nicely in the beginning of a relationship or friendship
Very nice topic, however, I do not feel that empathetic abilities makes one highly suggestible, but rather, that it is the weak sense of self that makes one easily manipulated. It is the lack of boundaries and connection to true self that makes one highly suggestible.
Thank you, Jenna, for your comment. I agree with your assessment of a weak sense of self making people easier targets to manipulate. The empathy heightens the susceptibility because it makes it easier for the manipulator to slip his or her hypnotic suggestions into our consciousness. In order to bite the hook of an idea, we first need to imagine it, or 'be there,' if you will. Empathy opens the door because empaths feel what the other feels and therefore are much easier to take on a ride, which in this case is a slow descent into madness. I hope this clears up what I had in mind : ) Maybe I didn't convey it clearly in the video.
Jenna Ryan I agree Jenna Ryan but some people can get hit while vulnerable and also non educated people. I have seen strong people fall. It's like saying it's your fault you wore that short skirt.
Thank you... first time I've heard anyone reference the trance state. I'm struggling hard with this at the moment. Narc is triggering me non stop, thrown me out of my house , all on one of his fuel gathering episodes... my head is either in Lala land or he'll reality... so frustrating when you know theoretically what's happening but your on cells are betraying you, reacting to every trigger action. I'm so drained...34yrs together and I can say I don't know who this monster is...
If you are an energy person (empathetic) you are more likely to have open boundaries & more effected by energies. It's a bit of a double whammy if you've also experienced narcissistic abuse. That's my current conclusion anyway.
Jenna Ryan I disagree all empaths don't have a lack of self they may be extreamly confident n extraordinary n way above average but they get sucked in bec they are just manipulative of their kindness , n they tend to have bigger hearts who don't judge always n give benefit of the doubt always - they have their gutt speaking n they ignore it bec they want to be gracious n fall for the lies n fascades they don't expect bec they would never drop at that level or ever treat anyone w contempt n hate - these people are evil n master manipulator hence they dupe the most intelligent n psychic of us bec they get they beat of us -- everyone is not insecure - they sometimes see highly confident n attractive ppl n are so jealous they want to bring them down but sometimes they will never win bec if you are super confident n aware of your self n knowing you are blessed they can't teach that High - they low bottom feeders who will always be low down n Gods wrath will get to them - period
Very interesting and soooo true. How the narc uses our strengths as a loophole or turns it into a weakness. Good work! I am post narc, 2 yrs divorced, 8 months removed physically. I'm still learning about all this. What a roller coaster! I've found out so far, sure I'm a good person, but I'm like a computer without antivirus software installed. This is a good video of the subtle ruse of the overall narc process. What a web of seduction, isolation, and enslavement! Whew! Been there, got the tee-shirt. Thanks for your time!
You just explained exactly what happened to me! Do they know what they are doing when they are putting us into a trance-like state? Or is it instinct that drives them? We ended up talking all night - 14 hours straight shortly after we met. It felt like 15 minutes (!) and neither of us stopped talking or taking our attention off one another for a second. Never been around someone so attentive, fixated on me -- and she was effortlessly finishing my sentences. Looking back, I can see that she had planned that night for weeks (I had naively thought it was serendipitous). But she was excited and ready. She had her stories set to go, all neatly packaged and carefully designed to get me to do most of the talking so she could "learn" me that night. Manipulating, playing with people's emotions and controlling is how they have fun tho. It's all a game. I open my heart to her and it's all just a fun game for her.
It is both instinct and awareness that drives them to varying degrees. They've been doing it for so long, they are really good at it... Seduction is their main survival tool. Because they cannot provide for themselves they seduce others to do things for them.
Yes! I was very successful when I met my narc...I was building a nice life...and I lost so many years to years with him. Now, I lack focus and am having a hard time pulling myself together...❤...
thank you for this. i am in the process of breaking free. i know people who had it worse so i didn't take my own problems serious, but a few days ago it hit me, it was something he said, that made me realize how much he was playing me. he is staying in my place and i am not sure how to get him out, but im working on it, im journaling, im watching the videos, i talked to a friend (she doesn't understand, but she supports me) and im getting Clear on what i want and need. your website and videos are helping a lot.
Thank you soul GPS. It has been only 5 weeks since I escaped from my narcissistic husband of fifteen years. I am trying slowly to get my real family back. My youngest daughter I don't think is ready for me coming back into entering her life 13 years later. The a h would never let me talk to her on the phone when she was in college. Now she is married and has two children. I missed it all. I have 5 grown children and 3 grand children I have never seen. The narc made me think I was talking to them on the phone by holding up the phone but I never heard their voice, because they weren't there. I cannot deal with the guilt and am ashamed to even call them now. I was not there when they needed me and now I feel I am too late. I am 64 years old and lost 15 year's of their life and mine and I feel so stupid. My sister who is a doctor asks, why didn't you just call your children? He had me living in this wild make believe world that was very bazaar and I believed every word he said
Thank you for sharing your story. Narcissists have a way of making you be them and they change your whole personality until you lose yourself. When you find yourself endosing things you never liked before you are soo into the manipulation
I realized that I was thinking like him and it was hard to stop but I finally did. I now feel so much lighter and happier. Their minds are so dark and cynical. Whew!
When I healed I literally found out I am artistic. I know it sounds crazy but I started arranging flowers. I had a natural talent I never knew about. I progressed into large floral arrangements quickly and mad a wedding centerpiece. I also had a gift of refurbishing furniture. I absolutely love and have such a passion for it. The narc will take everything away. If they can’t do it on a daily basis they will do something major behind your back I’m so glad I’m alone now. I was painfully alone with the narcissist. Being alone is the best thing I ever did. I’m not alone I’m surrounded by beauty and peace of mind. I escaped a prison with an empty vessel to weak to face who he is a vessel oppressed by his own demons and inner weakness. He chose his path. He chose to try and destroy me so he didn’t have to feel his own pain. Misery loves company but what they’re doing goes way beyond that. They are trying to destroy you and if you let them they will kill you. They are satans tools amongst us.
Thank you for your videos. I just had three therapy sessions with a new therapist. I just wanted to talk thru a transition in my life. By the second session, I knew she was a little harsh and it felt like she was trying to fight what I was saying. By the third session, I felt bombarded, confused and realized she was trying to control. It was so upsetting. It’s so good to have these videos to reference because my radar is not always up for these people and tactics. But it hurts so much being betrayed by these people, especially in settings where you should feel safe.
My nmom would pretend that my teddy bear whispered my thoughts into her ear. What she didn't guess she would trick me to reveal. It seemed sweet to a small child. When I explained this to my husband I realized how twisted this was. Thank you for all your wonderful videos.
OMG you absolutely nailed it! You described almost word perfectly what it is like to be in a relationship with a manipulator. When I did my first hypnotherapy course and I learned instant inductions it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. This was the technique used during abuse. Firstly you understand that the sociopath could explode into rage at any time. They have your focus of attention but even then it is unexpected. An explosion knocks you off your feet, leaving you confused (because there is no reason) then come the accusations, and after trying to make sense of it and answering the fictitious accusations, comes the apologies. They then tell you that they cannot help themselves...they are the victim! At the end of this video when you say why can't they be that great person they were in the beginning, that was in my head for years! finally I understood, its just an illusion & that is not who they are. A painful lesson.
This was so good! Everything was accurate of what they do to you as a person. Thank you for your research and putting it out there for people who have gone thru this as a validation to what happened in the relationship.
This video really hits home. My ex was a master seducer. He always said he knew what I was thinking and I began to control my thoughts, as well. I am so happy to be out! Thank you for the time you take to help us.
Right. I really want to go deeper into this in future videos. This form of manipulation really sneaks up on people from so many sources. Most of us operate in a deep trance and don't know it. Awareness is the first step towards radical empowerment.
Amazing video..helped me so much today...got out of a narcisistic relationship and in my recovery process i have been meeting other narcisistic people and realize i really didnt heal what i have to no be attracting this situation anymore...and has been like a waterfall of narcisists from past trying to contact me, new one trying to catch me....like im in na middle of a fire gun war ...but i have faith cus even it hurts to have several trauma bonds again and again florishing in my Life, im realising them, cutting them off.. its like a plague...i dont sleep well for almost an year..but...keep on moving and healing. Thank you so much!
We used to attribute "time flying" to having so much fun together but now I'm seriously considering I was just in a trance state when we were together both physically and in relationship. Good insight. I stayed for 4.5 years and the relationship progressed so little, it's crazy to think how much time was wasted being basically dissociated. And it didn't even feel like that long.
I got an enormous breakthrough today 🙏 thanks to you sharing your experiences. It was the fact that I had been primed for this since childhood. So many narcissistic, manipulative relationships and I couldn't understand why the pattern kept repeating- because I did all the self healing I could. Now I know I won't fall into the same traps. As for hypnotic states. I feel embarrassed because I am a clinical hypnotherapist. I never realized how I was responding to his suggestions. All you say in this video is so true! It helps so much. These manipulations are so subtle I defy anyone to notice on their own. Now I know I am not alone it really helps. It's not because we are stupid but because we are so good! 🤗😍✨🌟
The narc I experienced was very good at manipulating my emotions. I was actually shocked at how much of a puppet I could be. It was very humbling. I became instantly fascinated with what she was doing to trigger me like that. She also made me feel some trance type state. She would talk at a different cadence and her facial expression was odd. Kind of like the look a snake has before eating a mouse. I couldn't understand why she was acting that way.
@@Troyster94806 Ok the best thing to do is to get out of that person's influence and look away as soon as possible and not let her guide you. Just walk away if you can. If she stops you to say something, walk away. Dont give her any attention. I have had to do research on hypnosis because of being a trafficking victim and they also use hypnosis to control their victims. There are other ways to hypnotise a person including a handshake or a sharp tap to the back of the neck. People think that you can't be hypnotised but there are many many ways to manipulate someone into doing things they wouldn't normally be comfortable with.
@@rayofsunshine427 Yes, the eyes were hard on me. It made me think she was concerned with my reactions or something. No matter what I did to try to tone things down, she still kept that intense look. Since most people mirror each other, this was very difficult to get used to. It appears that hypnotism is a collection of very subtle skills of confusion and persuasion. That's what it seemed like to me, and it works pretty well! I never knew I could be manipulated that easily, but I was very predictable to her, that was obvious. I instinctively got away from her to avoid any influence, so it looks like I did the right thing.
@@rayofsunshine427 The ex did this especially when he was trying to lure me back in. I saw his eyes turn solid black once. There's something much sinister going on. I believe these people are harbouring demonic spirit's. Many are saying the same thing as me.
I believe grooming is their modus operandi using hypnosis or any other schemes they can muster. As a vulnerable person when I met him, anything was possible. Now I see him doing the same to others. I'm horrified and I want to warn them.
Hello and a big thank you for you sharing your knowledge and experience. As a mature woman who has recently been broken into pieces by a narcissist, I am extremely grateful for learning more about the manipulations and control techniques that they use. To hear from your own experience as well, and how to give ourselves time to heal has been very insightful for me. Thank you once again. I feel you have given me life and hope through these videos. Much appreciated.
Time to start investing in our own health and, moving forward, investing in healthy people who have healthy families. So much human potential is lost when trying to navigate and survive unhealthy dynamics. Thank you for posting these videos.
Wowwww one of the best & well-thought Videos in Narcissists & empath toxic relationship, SoulGPS! You have not only covered types, but also the mechanism on how it actually happens... Very true... Only people who been thru will understand this...
The beautiful thing about sharing your knowledge is helping innocent people understand how they are being abused. The sad thing about you knowing all of this is you were abused by an evil person that took away you innocence of unconditional love. Knowledge is power and love concurs hate!!
Great video, you do a really good job explaining abusive patterns and how people get sucked in. I literally had an experience with a sociopathic individual that was point for point what you describe here. They all operate the same way and some will even abuse beautiful spiritual ideas (like unconditional love) to manipulate you. I remember the sociopath I knew would use the concept to basically brainwash women into unconditionally loving and accepting him despite all of his bad behaviors (the judgemental implication was that you are a bad person or not truly spiritual if you did not accept him exactly 'as is'). It's interesting that you mention the energy drain or that they get in your head, I quite litearlly felt this person was tuned into my thoughts and by the time I ended the relationship I was absolutely exhausted, my health was deteriorating and felt like the life had been sucked out of me.
I felt so high after listening to his voice. His future faking and sex put me in a trance. In my recovery, detoxing from my high is very hard. He’s still in my head and I think about him everyday even though I dislike him as a person.
Superb Eva!I am into my 4th month with no contact. I am Lucky to have been in therapy for a few years, working on healthy bounderies and learn to say 'no' and accept a 'no'....and Learning to 'assert' myself...Although you put words so clearly into that trance he got me into. I wrote him so much through the months and even told him after he dumped me that I felt like a dog or a cat waiting for its master to get back home at the end of every day. I cried for a few week-ends like that bear on youtube chased by a cougar.Feeling totally powerless and betrayed and desacralising our socalled common project.He possessed me to depossess me of much material while sleeping with somebody else already in the house we were buying together.I thank God I followed my guts instinct.
Beautifully expressed and incisively summarised - especially the part of the WASTE of our time and energy this covert form of stealing of our life time, so that we are far from reaching our goals - or even, forget them as our energy gets sucked dry... Thank you for raising awareness of these monsters in human form.
I've probably watched this 12-15 times in the past two years. This is SO important and it isn't understood well at all that aside from the classic love bomb to discard is the most important part: the induction. It was only by watching a book review of a book about hypnosis the I heard of "covert hypnosis" and read more and realized that ha happened to me. It's so painful what they have put us through however, the people who commit. these crimes all have one thing common, they don't have the depth and creativity we do. We were attacked because we do feel so deeply and to them that's our vulnerability but it's also our strength and that's what they don't have. They are closer to machine than human and I swear part of what fuels their aggression toward us is knowing that they are deficient in the trait that we let flow so freely. Thank you for bringing this crucial step of induction / hypnosis to the surface. So many people blame themselves and ruminate over "there was a flag and there was a flag and why didn't I flee?" It's because we had been programmed already not to flee. They enjoy seeing us take what we previously would have rejected, it makes them feel powerful. And that's all they have, they cannot love and they do not feel deeply and fully and they know this. We are fortunate and we were targeted because we are creative and passionate people. They fed off us because we had good fuel! We survived and now it's our time. Thank you for your videos!
Wow this resonated with me hugely. My abuser was a woman and we were together for 13 yrs. It was amazing how spot on you were and describing my experience as a trance. Looking Back Now I see how the years flew by and how much hasn't changed and my views on life we're so different from years ago when I was successful prpfessional who owned my own home, my own vehicle, business and eventually gave it all up. Yet I still remained in the relationship, we broke up many times but remained in the dysfunction....I am out now and at NC! Pls pray I stay away...thank u God Bless you
Mine could read my mind. Just cus they hav'nt dropped the mask in front of you, make no mistake. They can. When he was drunk (showed his possession) I finally realized he could because he would answer and react to my thoughts. I literally had to block my thoughts and untangle our emotions. It was the fight of my life. I started realizing he was draining my energy when we separated, when I got in his presence I literally felt the drain and total apathy take over and I was like a zombie, a stepfird wife. I could only feel it after being separated which showed me I was always feeling his negative energies and emotions, not my own. Perhaps it only happens in the empath narcissist dynamic. After I did that, it was like talking to a stranger. Not knowing unconsciously his "intentions" so we only fought after that which we never did before b'cuz he was constantly in my head and I wasn't having my own thoughts. When I cought on to the fact he could do that, and I started fighting it I literally didn't know how to think for myself. They do put you in trance's. Think they know NLP instinctually, or their attached entities do and I have also been in a disassociative state for 44 years and that helps them further. 24 years I had no clue he was in my head until another person and I had an instant spiritual connection that opened my eyes to what was happening and caused my spiritual awakening.
Thank you for your knowledge Ewa. Dużo mnie nauczyłaś. Słucham Twoje filmiki po angielsku i po polsku. Lepiej mi się pisze po polsku. Uczę się ciagle. Ale jestem już oświecona. Jestem w małżeństwie z narcyzem 33 lata. Jestem emocjonalnie wypalona. Wyssał ze mnie cała energię. Tylko teraz jest trochę ciężko zakończyć taki długi związek. Chociażby ze względu na powiązania ekonomiczne. Ale mam nadzieje, ze mi się uda. Potrzebuje tylko trochę czasu i dalszej motywacji. Dziękuje Ci za bezcenne informacje, które przekazujesz. Jesteś wspaniała i dajesz nadzieje nawet takim jak ja.
people this woman knows what she's talking about. I would just like to add that some of trans can be done without any words. my narcissist was a professional musician. I was easy prey in that my empathy for the music was obvious. we were both highly kinesthetic he would be considered somatic.
Thank you so much for your amazing vide in just one video i learned more than listening to other UA-cam channels for two years , please create more video like this ,i also watched the second video that was amazing too🔥🔥🔥
Another technique I heard of and experienced myself is to share someone's secrets. hey this is between you and me,OK? And with whispering it creates what they call false intimacy
Great video topic and I so relate to it all. Its really empowering me after spending over three years with a covert Narcissist. Thank you so much. Love Kerry.
I have heard a number of psychologists say that anyone can be taken in by a sociopath, and most of us probably will at some point in our lives. I don't think any of us have any notion of what true malevolence and manipulation look like until we have an encounter with a sociopath. We are simply not expecting it, and therein lies the advantage for the sociopath. There are certain types like empaths (or people who have already endured abuse growing up) that with be more susceptible and have higher tolerance for the dysfunction that these people bring. I also often wonder if it is because empaths or codependents actually disable or ignore their own deeper level instincts *gut feelings* and preserve this false hope that they can help or heal anyone. They fail to actually love and protect themselves, whilst constantly deferring priority to the narc or sociopaths needs and feelings.
You're absolutely right. People who know who they are, know what they want, generally have their own plans in life can't be manipulated. Narc aunt tried to break me into giving up my dreams, ambitions goals realised I was too strong, self directed, independent and ambitious. She mistakenly thought my friendliness was me being clingy. She also thought me asking her for advice was me looking for her approval. You're also right my kindness and empathic qualities attracted her to me. I out did her cos NOBODY WILL GET INTO MY WAY INTO REALISING MY DREAMS. I didn't know what she was trying to do to me at that time but knew she was abusive.I didn't know about NPD. My boundaries saved me. I told her that I didn't have to justify to her nor anyone else why I wanted to go back to University. She wanted me to be forever broke, alone and financially dependent. She has a daughter who failed to get into Medicine then failed again getting into Dentistry. I trusted her and told her that I was applying for a course into Journalism. I think she was jealous n bitter. I have now broken All contact with her this was even before I read up about Narcissistic people. Thanks for this very detailed video. I'm going to hear it again n memorise the points you made here. X.
I am watching this video and blown away - this idea that I was in a trance & that's why my narcissist (among many reasons) was SO attractive & addictive to me. I was newly widowed when we got together & really didn't want to think about my pain. I WANTED to escape into someone else's arms. I knew this narcissist for years as an acquaintance & everyone said he was the most charming man, kindest, generous, etc. He seemed so wonderful. And really during our relationship (only 8 months) he was great to me - BUT would yell at my kids (then admit he was wrong), and discarded me 3 times over weird things. The discards hurt so much I can't even begin to express. I went back to him after the first discard & we immedialtely fell back in together really deeply and had a wonderful summer including vacation with my kids & his kids & friends! Then he discarded me again I was devastated again but didn't go back until he hoovered me. During that time we were apart I knew he was with another woman. He started texting me he missed me, I let him back in after he PROMISED he had changed and now KNEW he wanted to be with me, take care of me, saw us together blah blah blah. Then a few weeks later discarded me again - because a friend of mine said to him "Don't question her honesty or integrity or character. If you hurt her again I'll kill you," Kind of joking, but he got all bent out of shape. 2 days later discarded me over what she said - like as if I had put the words in her mouth! I haven't seem him since and its been 1 month. Not going to lie, I want him to come to me so bad some days. And I question is he really a narcissist because he wasn't so mean to me like some of these other accounts I hear. I wonder if he'll hoover again. I was pretty strong when he broke up with me last & I just said "good luck" and refused to hug him. He breaks up with me then asks for a hug! Good luck to everyone & thank you for this channel. I find it so enlightening and comforting you have no idea!
Thanks so much for being you!! 💕 This was sooo helpful. My problem was how insanely awesome the sex was beyond anything that I could even imagine. I have a friend who is the same- it automatically draws you back in like an addict. Because it’s all you know and it feels right, comfortable and ecstatic to be in it. Mood-alteration is not love. Love is helping you overcome your addiction not using it as a tool to manipulate you. It’s so hard to see sometimes 😳 Anyway, thanks again and I love you 😘
Also I think one of the manipulation techniques, is silence, and lack of attention. I believe it is the overt narcissist who is a talker, and the covert narcissist is the one who is often silent, and inattentive in order to get our attention.
I love your videos. Your videos are so helpful and full of useful information. This one on trans induction was so helpful and opened my eyes to a lot of the bs that was going on in my life. Thank you and God bless you for doing this for us.
I can put myself in a trance now - have been able to since Feb when I had the breakdown - I actually felt like my brain shrank - its rebuilt as of recent
This definitely was not typical of me. And this relationship, happened immediately after my husband died, and the person with which it happened, was my husband's best friend whom I have known for over 21 years and still do love with all my heart. My level of trust, and what I am willing to invest however has changed immensely. And at this point because it's been a couple of years, I am learning to say thank you for all this has taught me about myself.
I remember Jack Nicholson in Terms of endearment saying to his friend neighbor: 'You are describing the water I am drowning in...' I remember my mother saying also' When in doubt, don't follow and don't make any major decision'...I used to describe the water I drowned in with my NP married to him for 27 years! And four sons later left him. I am a strong thinker and when ideas are distorted, I take action. I was very Lucky! Example: my last NP is an atheist and I am a believer. I decided to go to the midnight mass alone last Christmas and left him alone at our apartment....He was not a happy camper. I am more daring because of people therapist like you. Of course I am older (66) and know myself much better than in my younger age. Thanks so much for your videos and the comments from others.
I literally woke up one day when I felt a physical "shift" like a switch flipping in my head/brain. It was extremely bizarre. As soon as the switch flipped, I could think clearly. I have been learning and observing ever since.
Thankyou, this information helps me a lot. I see the same behaviour with my narc wife. She changes behaviour suddenly and talks non stop. I been in no contact two weeks and then again in contact for two weeks. As a test, to see if I am wrong or right. She takes my energy, it is soooo exhausting being there. Red flag 🚩! Please keep on making videos, if u like. You have a very specific way of explaining the subtle manipulation techniques of them. Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪 😄
I am 41 years old and just now finding out my mom is a narcissist. my whole life, ever since I can remember, I knew there was something very wrong and all I could do was react to her with such anger and always saying I hated her. then it looked like I was the bad child that hated her "loving" mom, ungrateful child who had everything...I knew she is pretty fucked up, unhealthy, and dangerous to be around, but until I could put all of this together, I didn't realize exactly what her problem was. I think what deterred me from looking into the narcissistic angle was that I knew she isn't smart enough to be so calculated, consistent and skillful with her tactics, she always put off a feeling that she was helpless and weak and lacking depth. It feels like everything has just clicked for me. I see it all so clearly now. too bad seeing it for what it is doesn't automatically make the pain go away. Now I know why I've hated myself all these years...could never make my own decisions or decide what I wanted to do without hearing what she had to say... it's just so hard to believe she had all of us fooled. still to this day...my brother and I haven't talked in over 25 years bc she drove a wedge between him and I that she still keeps going. it's too bad my dad has passed bc then I'd want to talk to him about this. maybe he could see that he was sucked in by her too. could never understand how such a wonderful man, extremely intelligent, logical, could fall for that kind of woman. And I never truly believed what she had to say about my grandpa, her father. he committed suicide when I was 5 and then my mom has tried to convince me that he was so awful to her and that he was a bad man. I have never really believed any of that.
funny...I wrote the above comment before I finished the video...listening further some of my own questions were answered. about how my dad, a highly intelligent man could fall for this, about how she tried to make her dad, my grandpa, look so bad but I never felt fully convinced...wow.
Wow. So much is coming to light for me now. I thought I was going crazy or possessed by demons or something. After year 1 with the narc I checked myself into the mental hospital for a crisis stabilization stay. They put me on meds and diagnosed me as bipolar. Damn. And it was this bull shit the whole time.
As an empath, and sensitive, I really appreciate your scientific careful explanations with a soft mild voice.
Many videos by others in this community are spoken with a loud parenting teaching tone, which i really don't think us survivors need more of in our lives. We've had enough of tough voices during emotional abuse.
Cecilia Caller said well and aligns with my comment above. Many victims of NSP Narcissist, sociopath, psychopath abuse are only led by covert Narcissist into a familiar coral calling it a support site that revolves around them, keeping victims victimized by spewing rage and reliving the abuse only naming it and validating it. Only keeping victims forever victims instead of survivors which are very dangerous platforms in disguise
Where they will never recover offering them a space that only says " see your not alone any more" but in reality keep them yet again prisoners in a larger playing field. Beware because these wolfs in sheeps clothing are some of the most dangerous covert NSP's out there.
Be careful who you listen to when all that you really walk away from is someone who has a gift for putting your pain and suffering into words. Ask yourself are they helping you see a positive for this massive lesson put before you? Are they offering you a way to make sense of it? A way out? Do they spew anger and rage? Not this girl...she is calm, smart, she did a lot of homework, she is very transparent, knowledgeable and most important... she is a messenger of hope to fly out of the ashes like the Phoenixes we can be, actually better and much wiser then before a new.
Yes a part of us must die so we need to bury it once and for all. That is our choice. I am very impressed with her messages. She always ends with a solid option and hope. What a gift and I applaud her!
Yes,
though Some of the harsh voices in this community are not narcissists. They just don't know how else to stand out, to sound special, to get subscribers and commenters and viewers. So they scream. which is the easy way.
I prefer the soft tone voices; those give a lot more wise and scientific information
same i can’t stand the near screeching in some videos
Cecilia Caller I agree, the way she relates to us is perfect
Wow, well said, well pointed out 💕x
I used to really like people. I especially liked helping others. Now, I’ve isolated myself and it’s been like this for four years.
Nearly 3 years now
I understand you. I'm in the same picture and it's been 14 mths. But trying my best to get out the hole.
Well, the good thing is my self-isolation was perfect preparation for covid19. So, I have that going for me.
going easy 3 years? Mines going on 6 - I only say that because I finally tried Zoloft and it helped a bit. Adderall actually works well for me mentslly but my hair falls out and I break out when I take it. I worked with a nutritionist and there are (maybe) some supplements that help. I know chamomile tea and avoiding gluten improve my mood.
9
Oh dear ! This is so accurate it is scary. You are an angel! Thank you
They also record and collect all data & info you share with them, and they will use it against you at the right time, possibly to bring you down or to get back their grip on you
What's Supernova'ing dude?
One of their favorite tactics to humiliate you
Merlady Neptune I'm aware that this is an old video, but still want to mention that a lot of narcissistic people I've known, including my last ex, genuinely have really bad memories! It would be mainly due to the fact that they've been drinking for many years, which causes memory loss, so they have trouble remembering what I've said, let alone holding it against me. I used to drink a lot as way of coping though and my memory isn't the best either. 🤔
"The one place they cannot get you is in the present" That is so true!
I overrode my instincts (that were screaming for me to leave) for 5 years with apologies for the hurtful things done in the past (to get back in the door) and the promises of what the wonderful future had in store for us. Beautiful lies negated by ugly truths.
Thank you, again!
I never even received apologies. Lol
3.5 years was enough to wreak hell on my mental state I can't even imagine anymore time, but surviving shows we haven't given up
I thought I was crazy ...thank u
You are so welcome, Christy. You are not crazy. But prolonged exposure to a disorder will mess with our perception. Sending you much love on your healing journey!
i left my narc for three weeks, and he was so incredibly upset. I came back, and the first thing he did, was say, "take off your sunglasses. I want you to look me in the eyes so I can say I'm sorry." now I realize that he was putting me into a trance state; and when i think back to the 'apology' i realize it wasn't an apology at all, but rather just him saying he was sorry that I left. Not the same! I stayed for six more months of misery!
Your comment reads of EGO. Maybe he was apologetic, wanted to look you in the eye, love you & make a commitment. But after a week or 2 the relationship went back on the rocks,
Label it how you like, relationship incompatibility.
Yes I experienced the look in the eyes -
Defences against mesmerism
(from Defences Against the Real-World Dark Arts)
Do not look into the mesmerist’s eyes but look at the bridge of their nose or just to the side of the right eye. You can train yourself to look people in the eye by looking at your own eyes intently for minutes at a time in a mirror. This is an exercise taught in mesmerism courses.
If you have to break the gaze, do it positively, without appearing to give way. Do not slide your eyes away or shift your eyes from one side of the mesmerist’s face to the other, called rabbits’ eyes. Create a distraction. Look the person in the eye more intently and then look up for inspiration or down at your notes or positively at something. And keep looking back at the mesmerist’s eyes intently when making a point but do not hold the gaze and look at the bridge of the nose, or to the corner of the right eye, not into the eye.
That is so fucking creepy
He was so proud of his ability of hypnotizing people that he tried to teach me how to do it! So I asked him if he did that to me, (like as if he would honestly tell me) . Of course, he told me that he would never do anything like that to me, because he LOVES ME. Ha! So I know for a fact that what you're saying is correct. Thanks for making people aware of their tricks!
It was a slow boil.
Like the frog in a kettle. (= @creator.
i remember the trance feeling i had in the moments i fell for my narc and i was overwhelmed by the romantic attention. It began on on the third day after i met him. He told everyone around me that i was beautiful. He bought me a rose. and at the end of the evening he kissed me. All of this made my head swim for hours afterward. so much so that when i was taking the train to my hotel in this foreign city a passenger next to me told me to stop daydreaming and focus because the city is dangerous. i was so overwhelmed i also got off at wrong stop. The second trance state was after the first red flag when he got angry for no reason. He sent me a large bunch of red roses with an apology message attached to it. From then on i was hooked. I am a successful, educated person, and very highly empathetic.
Obviously not educated enough.
Excuse me, what was that last line?
I could have sworn you said, "I am a sucker."
I would like to let you know you have really got it right. You have described my relationship to my husband of 15 years to a tee. Thank you so much for the insightful video. By the way I have now woken up and have been seperated from him for two years. No contact has really helped to keep my sanity and keep healing
Thank you Rose! My hope is that my experience can help other people. Great job with going no contact. This is YOUR time, YOUR life. Move towards what feels good and trust that intuition. Sending you much love!
Won't even remember who you were! OMG what makes your messages so different than many other sites is you do not play on staying a victim ruminating over and over around the unjust horrors, spewing anger and rage which only keeps you a victim now run by another covert narcissist only in a new barnyard. You make very clear with research under your belt an open door to jump the fence. Your adamant about not remaining a victim but becoming a true survivor. I too am an aspiring writer... I am...also... the Girl who writes. Thank you for your inspiration.
You're so smart. May God protect you, and give you more (power and discernment).
Amen 🙏 and I thank Jesus for pulling me out of a crazy relationship like what she was in and pray that no one else ever loses who they are even temporarily because of another person that treats anyone nicely in the beginning of a relationship or friendship
I am actually speechless. With all this confirmation if everything that I have gone through... now I am at a loss for words.
Thank you 🙏🏽
I think you may be one of the first I’ve found whose videos don’t incite my hurt and anger all over again.
Very nice topic, however, I do not feel that empathetic abilities makes one highly suggestible, but rather, that it is the weak sense of self that makes one easily manipulated. It is the lack of boundaries and connection to true self that makes one highly suggestible.
Thank you, Jenna, for your comment. I agree with your assessment of a weak sense of self making people easier targets to manipulate. The empathy heightens the susceptibility because it makes it easier for the manipulator to slip his or her hypnotic suggestions into our consciousness. In order to bite the hook of an idea, we first need to imagine it, or 'be there,' if you will. Empathy opens the door because empaths feel what the other feels and therefore are much easier to take on a ride, which in this case is a slow descent into madness. I hope this clears up what I had in mind : ) Maybe I didn't convey it clearly in the video.
Jenna Ryan I agree Jenna Ryan but some people can get hit while vulnerable and also non educated people. I have seen strong people fall. It's like saying it's your fault you wore that short skirt.
Thank you... first time I've heard anyone reference the trance state. I'm struggling hard with this at the moment. Narc is triggering me non stop, thrown me out of my house , all on one of his fuel gathering episodes... my head is either in Lala land or he'll reality... so frustrating when you know theoretically what's happening but your on cells are betraying you, reacting to every trigger action. I'm so drained...34yrs together and I can say I don't know who this monster is...
If you are an energy person (empathetic) you are more likely to have open boundaries & more effected by energies. It's a bit of a double whammy if you've also experienced narcissistic abuse. That's my current conclusion anyway.
Jenna Ryan I disagree all empaths don't have a lack of self they may be extreamly confident n extraordinary n way above average but they get sucked in bec they are just manipulative of their kindness , n they tend to have bigger hearts who don't judge always n give benefit of the doubt always - they have their gutt speaking n they ignore it bec they want to be gracious n fall for the lies n fascades they don't expect bec they would never drop at that level or ever treat anyone w contempt n hate - these people are evil n master manipulator hence they dupe the most intelligent n psychic of us bec they get they beat of us -- everyone is not insecure - they sometimes see highly confident n attractive ppl n are so jealous they want to bring them down but sometimes they will never win bec if you are super confident n aware of your self n knowing you are blessed they can't teach that High - they low bottom feeders who will always be low down n Gods wrath will get to them - period
You're so SMART and GENTLE . Thank you for all this information and concepts 👏🏼👍🏻🍀
May God Bless you for taking the time to upload this 💜
Very interesting and soooo true. How the narc uses our strengths as a loophole or turns it into a weakness. Good work! I am post narc, 2 yrs divorced, 8 months removed physically. I'm still learning about all this. What a roller coaster! I've found out so far, sure I'm a good person, but I'm like a computer without antivirus software installed. This is a good video of the subtle ruse of the overall narc process. What a web of seduction, isolation, and enslavement! Whew! Been there, got the tee-shirt. Thanks for your time!
Good for you Steven. This education will help immensely in all areas of your life. It is amazing how pervasive it's gotten. Best wishes!
I don't know why anyone gave you a thumbs down. You know exactly what you're talking about. You are 100% correct.
You just explained exactly what happened to me! Do they know what they are doing when they are putting us into a trance-like state? Or is it instinct that drives them? We ended up talking all night - 14 hours straight shortly after we met. It felt like 15 minutes (!) and neither of us stopped talking or taking our attention off one another for a second. Never been around someone so attentive, fixated on me -- and she was effortlessly finishing my sentences. Looking back, I can see that she had planned that night for weeks (I had naively thought it was serendipitous). But she was excited and ready. She had her stories set to go, all neatly packaged and carefully designed to get me to do most of the talking so she could "learn" me that night. Manipulating, playing with people's emotions and controlling is how they have fun tho. It's all a game. I open my heart to her and it's all just a fun game for her.
It is both instinct and awareness that drives them to varying degrees. They've been doing it for so long, they are really good at it... Seduction is their main survival tool. Because they cannot provide for themselves they seduce others to do things for them.
so true
Yes! I was very successful when I met my narc...I was building a nice life...and I lost so many years to years with him. Now, I lack focus and am having a hard time pulling myself together...❤...
thank you for this. i am in the process of breaking free. i know people who had it worse so i didn't take my own problems serious, but a few days ago it hit me, it was something he said, that made me realize how much he was playing me. he is staying in my place and i am not sure how to get him out, but im working on it, im journaling, im watching the videos, i talked to a friend (she doesn't understand, but she supports me) and im getting Clear on what i want and need.
your website and videos are helping a lot.
Thank you soul GPS. It has been only 5 weeks since I escaped from my narcissistic husband of fifteen years. I am trying slowly to get my real family back. My youngest daughter I don't think is ready for me coming back into entering her life 13 years later. The a h would never let me talk to her on the phone when she was in college. Now she is married and has two children. I missed it all. I have 5 grown children and 3 grand children I have never seen. The narc made me think I was talking to them on the phone by holding up the phone but I never heard their voice, because they weren't there. I cannot deal with the guilt and am ashamed to even call them now. I was not there when they needed me and now I feel I am too late. I am 64 years old and lost 15 year's of their life and mine and I feel so stupid. My sister who is a doctor asks, why didn't you just call your children? He had me living in this wild make believe world that was very bazaar and I believed every word he said
Thank you for sharing your story. Narcissists have a way of making you be them and they change your whole personality until you lose yourself. When you find yourself endosing things you never liked before you are soo into the manipulation
I realized that I was thinking like him and it was hard to stop but I finally did. I now feel so much lighter and happier. Their minds are so dark and cynical. Whew!
i remember during the golden periods i would feel uncontrollably sleepy. it was a good but oddly awful.
Yep, that's the trance in action.
Lifefading via trance induction, hypnosis, love-bombing. It is abuse! It's ok to feel all the feelings. Well done!
When I healed I literally found out I am artistic.
I know it sounds crazy but I started arranging flowers. I had a natural talent I never knew about.
I progressed into large floral arrangements quickly and mad a wedding centerpiece.
I also had a gift of refurbishing furniture. I absolutely love and have such a passion for it.
The narc will take everything away.
If they can’t do it on a daily basis they will do something major behind your back
I’m so glad I’m alone now.
I was painfully alone with the narcissist.
Being alone is the best thing I ever did.
I’m not alone I’m surrounded by beauty and peace of mind.
I escaped a prison with an empty vessel to weak to face who he is a vessel oppressed by his own demons and inner weakness.
He chose his path.
He chose to try and destroy me so he didn’t have to feel his own pain.
Misery loves company but what they’re doing goes way beyond that.
They are trying to destroy you and if you let them they will kill you.
They are satans tools amongst us.
This is such an important comment, Lynn! Thank you for sharing. I'm thrilled you followed your own path and nurtured your artistic self. Way to go!
Lynn Smith "being alone" is the weak narcissist
Wow, you know what you're talking about. I've been researching this for years and you are nailing it!
Your insight has really saved me from so much self- doubt and helped me to heal from abuse. Thankyou with all my heart
Thank you for your videos. I just had three therapy sessions with a new therapist. I just wanted to talk thru a transition in my life. By the second session, I knew she was a little harsh and it felt like she was trying to fight what I was saying. By the third session, I felt bombarded, confused and realized she was trying to control. It was so upsetting. It’s so good to have these videos to reference because my radar is not always up for these people and tactics. But it hurts so much being betrayed by these people, especially in settings where you should feel safe.
My nmom would pretend that my teddy bear whispered my thoughts into her ear. What she didn't guess she would trick me to reveal. It seemed sweet to a small child. When I explained this to my husband I realized how twisted this was.
Thank you for all your wonderful videos.
OMG you absolutely nailed it! You described almost word perfectly what it is like to be in a relationship with a manipulator. When I did my first hypnotherapy course and I learned instant inductions it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. This was the technique used during abuse. Firstly you understand that the sociopath could explode into rage at any time. They have your focus of attention but even then it is unexpected. An explosion knocks you off your feet, leaving you confused (because there is no reason) then come the accusations, and after trying to make sense of it and answering the fictitious accusations, comes the apologies. They then tell you that they cannot help themselves...they are the victim! At the end of this video when you say why can't they be that great person they were in the beginning, that was in my head for years! finally I understood, its just an illusion & that is not who they are. A painful lesson.
This is the best explanation I have heard. It happens so naturally, where there is nothing obvious that is happening at all.
This was so good! Everything was accurate of what they do to you as a person. Thank you for your research and putting it out there for people who have gone thru this as a validation to what happened in the relationship.
This video really hits home. My ex was a master seducer. He always said he knew what I was thinking and I began to control my thoughts, as well. I am so happy to be out! Thank you for the time you take to help us.
WOW !!! Mind boggling breakdown , smdh . They are some truly sick people , total insanity .
Right. I really want to go deeper into this in future videos. This form of manipulation really sneaks up on people from so many sources. Most of us operate in a deep trance and don't know it. Awareness is the first step towards radical empowerment.
Amazing video..helped me so much today...got out of a narcisistic relationship and in my recovery process i have been meeting other narcisistic people and realize i really didnt heal what i have to no be attracting this situation anymore...and has been like a waterfall of narcisists from past trying to contact me, new one trying to catch me....like im in na middle of a fire gun war ...but i have faith cus even it hurts to have several trauma bonds again and again florishing in my Life, im realising them, cutting them off.. its like a plague...i dont sleep well for almost an year..but...keep on moving and healing. Thank you so much!
I like how you on your channel shares real life experiences. It's like you're speaking my story. The whole read my mind etc
We used to attribute "time flying" to having so much fun together but now I'm seriously considering I was just in a trance state when we were together both physically and in relationship. Good insight. I stayed for 4.5 years and the relationship progressed so little, it's crazy to think how much time was wasted being basically dissociated. And it didn't even feel like that long.
I got an enormous breakthrough today 🙏 thanks to you sharing your experiences. It was the fact that I had been primed for this since childhood. So many narcissistic, manipulative relationships and I couldn't understand why the pattern kept repeating- because I did all the self healing I could. Now I know I won't fall into the same traps. As for hypnotic states. I feel embarrassed because I am a clinical hypnotherapist. I never realized how I was responding to his suggestions. All you say in this video is so true! It helps so much. These manipulations are so subtle I defy anyone to notice on their own. Now I know I am not alone it really helps. It's not because we are stupid but because we are so good! 🤗😍✨🌟
I'm 7 months out of a 3yr Narc- Nightmare..This video helped me to understand how I got sucked in and lost my identity. Thank you.
Good work, your soul gps is spot on.
The narc I experienced was very good at manipulating my emotions. I was actually shocked at how much of a puppet I could be. It was very humbling. I became instantly fascinated with what she was doing to trigger me like that. She also made me feel some trance type state. She would talk at a different cadence and her facial expression was odd. Kind of like the look a snake has before eating a mouse. I couldn't understand why she was acting that way.
Did she stare into your eyes alot? Because that is a form of hypnosis called Mesmerism.
@@rayofsunshine427 Yes, I kept asking her to stop looking at me like that.
@@Troyster94806 Ok the best thing to do is to get out of that person's influence and look away as soon as possible and not let her guide you. Just walk away if you can. If she stops you to say something, walk away. Dont give her any attention. I have had to do research on hypnosis because of being a trafficking victim and they also use hypnosis to control their victims. There are other ways to hypnotise a person including a handshake or a sharp tap to the back of the neck. People think that you can't be hypnotised but there are many many ways to manipulate someone into doing things they wouldn't normally be comfortable with.
@@rayofsunshine427 Yes, the eyes were hard on me. It made me think she was concerned with my reactions or something. No matter what I did to try to tone things down, she still kept that intense look. Since most people mirror each other, this was very difficult to get used to. It appears that hypnotism is a collection of very subtle skills of confusion and persuasion. That's what it seemed like to me, and it works pretty well! I never knew I could be manipulated that easily, but I was very predictable to her, that was obvious. I instinctively got away from her to avoid any influence, so it looks like I did the right thing.
@@rayofsunshine427 The ex did this especially when he was trying to lure me back in. I saw his eyes turn solid black once. There's something much sinister going on. I believe these people are harbouring demonic spirit's. Many are saying the same thing as me.
0ld one. One of your best. I would like to see a new version on this from you. made me smile
You perfectly explained it. And the awakening, wow I can relate.
Good point about focus being the reason for being the victim of a narcissist and wanting to problem solve.
I believe grooming is their modus operandi using hypnosis or any other schemes they can muster.
As a vulnerable person when I met him, anything was possible.
Now I see him doing the same to others. I'm horrified and I want to warn them.
I absolutely love the vantage point and understanding you have on this subject! You speak my language, thank you!
Hello and a big thank you for you sharing your knowledge and experience. As a mature woman who has recently been broken into pieces by a narcissist, I am extremely grateful for learning more about the manipulations and control techniques that they use. To hear from your own experience as well, and how to give ourselves time to heal has been very insightful for me. Thank you once again. I feel you have given me life and hope through these videos. Much appreciated.
You are a saving grace, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your videos.
Time to start investing in our own health and, moving forward, investing in healthy people who have healthy families. So much human potential is lost when trying to navigate and survive unhealthy dynamics. Thank you for posting these videos.
Wowwww one of the best & well-thought Videos in Narcissists & empath toxic relationship, SoulGPS! You have not only covered types, but also the mechanism on how it actually happens... Very true... Only people who been thru will understand this...
The beautiful thing about sharing your knowledge is helping innocent people understand how they are being abused. The sad thing about you knowing all of this is you were abused by an evil person that took away you innocence of unconditional love. Knowledge is power and love concurs hate!!
This saved me - I thought my dreams were gone and the Universe didn't hear me anymore at all! Thank you!
Great video, you do a really good job explaining abusive patterns and how people get sucked in. I literally had an experience with a sociopathic individual that was point for point what you describe here. They all operate the same way and some will even abuse beautiful spiritual ideas (like unconditional love) to manipulate you. I remember the sociopath I knew would use the concept to basically brainwash women into unconditionally loving and accepting him despite all of his bad behaviors (the judgemental implication was that you are a bad person or not truly spiritual if you did not accept him exactly 'as is'). It's interesting that you mention the energy drain or that they get in your head, I quite litearlly felt this person was tuned into my thoughts and by the time I ended the relationship I was absolutely exhausted, my health was deteriorating and felt like the life had been sucked out of me.
OMG, I am met my ex Covert at a club. Thru a mutual associate. And she said that's a no-no. That is the truth. Never again
I felt so high after listening to his voice. His future faking and sex put me in a trance. In my recovery, detoxing from my high is very hard. He’s still in my head and I think about him everyday even though I dislike him as a person.
Superb Eva!I am into my 4th month with no contact. I am Lucky to have been in therapy for a few years, working on healthy bounderies and learn to say 'no' and accept a 'no'....and Learning to 'assert' myself...Although you put words so clearly into that trance he got me into. I wrote him so much through the months and even told him after he dumped me that I felt like a dog or a cat waiting for its master to get back home at the end of every day. I cried for a few week-ends like that bear on youtube chased by a cougar.Feeling totally powerless and betrayed and desacralising our socalled common project.He possessed me to depossess me of much material while sleeping with somebody else already in the house we were buying together.I thank God I followed my guts instinct.
Such excellent info, thank you! You describe the lure, overwhelm and trance so clearly.
Beautifully expressed and incisively summarised - especially the part of the WASTE of our time and energy this covert form of stealing of our life time, so that we are far from reaching our goals - or even, forget them as our energy gets sucked dry... Thank you for raising awareness of these monsters in human form.
I so needed this video today, thank you beautiful soul
I've probably watched this 12-15 times in the past two years. This is SO important and it isn't understood well at all that aside from the classic love bomb to discard is the most important part: the induction. It was only by watching a book review of a book about hypnosis the I heard of "covert hypnosis" and read more and realized that ha happened to me. It's so painful what they have put us through however, the people who commit. these crimes all have one thing common, they don't have the depth and creativity we do. We were attacked because we do feel so deeply and to them that's our vulnerability but it's also our strength and that's what they don't have. They are closer to machine than human and I swear part of what fuels their aggression toward us is knowing that they are deficient in the trait that we let flow so freely. Thank you for bringing this crucial step of induction / hypnosis to the surface. So many people blame themselves and ruminate over "there was a flag and there was a flag and why didn't I flee?" It's because we had been programmed already not to flee. They enjoy seeing us take what we previously would have rejected, it makes them feel powerful. And that's all they have, they cannot love and they do not feel deeply and fully and they know this. We are fortunate and we were targeted because we are creative and passionate people. They fed off us because we had good fuel! We survived and now it's our time. Thank you for your videos!
I'm glad I found you. You explained exactly how I was duped. Thank you!
Wow this resonated with me hugely. My abuser was a woman and we were together for 13 yrs. It was amazing how spot on you were and describing my experience as a trance. Looking Back Now I see how the years flew by and how much hasn't changed and my views on life we're so different from years ago when I was successful prpfessional who owned my own home, my own vehicle, business and eventually gave it all up. Yet I still remained in the relationship, we broke up many times but remained in the dysfunction....I am out now and at NC! Pls pray I stay away...thank u God Bless you
The timing of me finding this is amazing. Thank you so much for shedding light on these matters.
Mine could read my mind. Just cus they hav'nt dropped the mask in front of you, make no mistake. They can. When he was drunk (showed his possession) I finally realized he could because he would answer and react to my thoughts. I literally had to block my thoughts and untangle our emotions. It was the fight of my life. I started realizing he was draining my energy when we separated, when I got in his presence I literally felt the drain and total apathy take over and I was like a zombie, a stepfird wife. I could only feel it after being separated which showed me I was always feeling his negative energies and emotions, not my own. Perhaps it only happens in the empath narcissist dynamic. After I did that, it was like talking to a stranger. Not knowing unconsciously his "intentions" so we only fought after that which we never did before b'cuz he was constantly in my head and I wasn't having my own thoughts. When I cought on to the fact he could do that, and I started fighting it I literally didn't know how to think for myself. They do put you in trance's. Think they know NLP instinctually, or their attached entities do and I have also been in a disassociative state for 44 years and that helps them further. 24 years I had no clue he was in my head until another person and I had an instant spiritual connection that opened my eyes to what was happening and caused my spiritual awakening.
All very true, and I learned a couple of new terms. Thank you for sharing:)
Thank you for your knowledge Ewa. Dużo mnie nauczyłaś. Słucham Twoje filmiki po angielsku i po polsku. Lepiej mi się pisze po polsku. Uczę się ciagle. Ale jestem już oświecona. Jestem w małżeństwie z narcyzem 33 lata. Jestem emocjonalnie wypalona. Wyssał ze mnie cała energię. Tylko teraz jest trochę ciężko zakończyć taki długi związek. Chociażby ze względu na powiązania ekonomiczne. Ale mam nadzieje, ze mi się uda. Potrzebuje tylko trochę czasu i dalszej motywacji. Dziękuje Ci za bezcenne informacje, które przekazujesz. Jesteś wspaniała i dajesz nadzieje nawet takim jak ja.
people this woman knows what she's talking about. I would just like to add that some of trans can be done without any words. my narcissist was a professional musician. I was easy prey in that my empathy for the music was obvious. we were both highly kinesthetic he would be considered somatic.
Thank you!
WOW!!! See youtube videos of hypnotist derren brown!
Thank you so much for your amazing vide in just one video i learned more than listening to other UA-cam channels for two years , please create more video like this ,i also watched the second video that was amazing too🔥🔥🔥
Another technique I heard of and experienced myself is to share someone's secrets. hey this is between you and me,OK? And with whispering it creates what they call false intimacy
This is a very good video. I had a few "Oh, so *that's* how that happened" moments while watching.
Great video topic and I so relate to it all. Its really empowering me after spending over three years with a covert Narcissist. Thank you so much. Love Kerry.
phenomenal insight and knowledge thankyou dearly🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I have heard a number of psychologists say that anyone can be taken in by a sociopath, and most of us probably will at some point in our lives. I don't think any of us have any notion of what true malevolence and manipulation look like until we have an encounter with a sociopath. We are simply not expecting it, and therein lies the advantage for the sociopath. There are certain types like empaths (or people who have already endured abuse growing up) that with be more susceptible and have higher tolerance for the dysfunction that these people bring. I also often wonder if it is because empaths or codependents actually disable or ignore their own deeper level instincts *gut feelings* and preserve this false hope that they can help or heal anyone. They fail to actually love and protect themselves, whilst constantly deferring priority to the narc or sociopaths needs and feelings.
You, my lady, do a wonderful wonderful job!! You nail it and you bring hope!! Dont ever stop because you really do help us.. thank you
You're absolutely right. People who know who they are, know what they want, generally have their own plans in life can't be manipulated. Narc aunt tried to break me into giving up my dreams, ambitions goals realised I was too strong, self directed, independent and ambitious. She mistakenly thought my friendliness was me being clingy. She also thought me asking her for advice was me looking for her approval. You're also right my kindness and empathic qualities attracted her to me. I out did her cos NOBODY WILL GET INTO MY WAY INTO REALISING MY DREAMS. I didn't know what she was trying to do to me at that time but knew she was abusive.I didn't know about NPD. My boundaries saved me. I told her that I didn't have to justify to her nor anyone else why I wanted to go back to University. She wanted me to be forever broke, alone and financially dependent. She has a daughter who failed to get into Medicine then failed again getting into Dentistry. I trusted her and told her that I was applying for a course into Journalism. I think she was jealous n bitter. I have now broken All contact with her this was even before I read up about Narcissistic people. Thanks for this very detailed video. I'm going to hear it again n memorise the points you made here. X.
Right, narcs control by hooking us and keeping us dependent on them. Good for you for standing up for yourself! Best wishes to you!
You sound like an INTJ
I am watching this video and blown away - this idea that I was in a trance & that's why my narcissist (among many reasons) was SO attractive & addictive to me. I was newly widowed when we got together & really didn't want to think about my pain. I WANTED to escape into someone else's arms. I knew this narcissist for years as an acquaintance & everyone said he was the most charming man, kindest, generous, etc. He seemed so wonderful. And really during our relationship (only 8 months) he was great to me - BUT would yell at my kids (then admit he was wrong), and discarded me 3 times over weird things. The discards hurt so much I can't even begin to express. I went back to him after the first discard & we immedialtely fell back in together really deeply and had a wonderful summer including vacation with my kids & his kids & friends! Then he discarded me again I was devastated again but didn't go back until he hoovered me. During that time we were apart I knew he was with another woman. He started texting me he missed me, I let him back in after he PROMISED he had changed and now KNEW he wanted to be with me, take care of me, saw us together blah blah blah. Then a few weeks later discarded me again - because a friend of mine said to him "Don't question her honesty or integrity or character. If you hurt her again I'll kill you," Kind of joking, but he got all bent out of shape. 2 days later discarded me over what she said - like as if I had put the words in her mouth! I haven't seem him since and its been 1 month. Not going to lie, I want him to come to me so bad some days. And I question is he really a narcissist because he wasn't so mean to me like some of these other accounts I hear. I wonder if he'll hoover again. I was pretty strong when he broke up with me last & I just said "good luck" and refused to hug him. He breaks up with me then asks for a hug! Good luck to everyone & thank you for this channel. I find it so enlightening and comforting you have no idea!
Thanks so much for being you!! 💕 This was sooo helpful. My problem was how insanely awesome the sex was beyond anything that I could even imagine. I have a friend who is the same- it automatically draws you back in like an addict. Because it’s all you know and it feels right, comfortable and ecstatic to be in it. Mood-alteration is not love. Love is helping you overcome your addiction not using it as a tool to manipulate you. It’s so hard to see sometimes 😳 Anyway, thanks again and I love you 😘
Also I think one of the manipulation techniques, is silence, and lack of attention. I believe it is the overt narcissist who is a talker, and the covert narcissist is the one who is often silent, and inattentive in order to get our attention.
I love your videos. Your videos are so helpful and full of useful information.
This one on trans induction was so helpful and opened my eyes to a lot of the bs that was going on in my life.
Thank you and God bless you for doing this for us.
I can put myself in a trance now - have been able to since Feb when I had the breakdown - I actually felt like my brain shrank - its rebuilt as of recent
This definitely was not typical of me. And this relationship, happened immediately after my husband died, and the person with which it happened, was my husband's best friend whom I have known for over 21 years and still do love with all my heart. My level of trust, and what I am willing to invest however has changed immensely. And at this point because it's been a couple of years, I am learning to say thank you for all this has taught me about myself.
I remember Jack Nicholson in Terms of endearment saying to his friend neighbor: 'You are describing the water I am drowning in...' I remember my mother saying also' When in doubt, don't follow and don't make any major decision'...I used to describe the water I drowned in with my NP married to him for 27 years! And four sons later left him. I am a strong thinker and when ideas are distorted, I take action. I was very Lucky! Example: my last NP is an atheist and I am a believer. I decided to go to the midnight mass alone last Christmas and left him alone at our apartment....He was not a happy camper. I am more daring because of people therapist like you. Of course I am older (66) and know myself much better than in my younger age. Thanks so much for your videos and the comments from others.
You are wonderful! Just subscribed. Thank you ❤️
I literally woke up one day when I felt a physical "shift" like a switch flipping in my head/brain. It was extremely bizarre. As soon as the switch flipped, I could think clearly. I have been learning and observing ever since.
VERY, VERY VERY WELL EXPLAINED!! Dziekuje bardzo. Ogladam Pani filmy ale ten jest mega !
Thank you so much for what you do!! Lots of love 💖
Greetings from Oregon.Your an amazing person. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
Brilliant and helpful, thank you❤
Thankyou, this information helps me a lot. I see the same behaviour with my narc wife. She changes behaviour suddenly and talks non stop. I been in no contact two weeks and then again in contact for two weeks. As a test, to see if I am wrong or right. She takes my energy, it is soooo exhausting being there. Red flag 🚩!
Please keep on making videos, if u like. You have a very specific way of explaining the subtle manipulation techniques of them. Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪 😄
This is absolutely brilliant👍 thank you🙏
You are love and you are light. Thank you so much
Thank you for your video’s 🌈🌈God bless you sister 🌈🌈
I am 41 years old and just now finding out my mom is a narcissist. my whole life, ever since I can remember, I knew there was something very wrong and all I could do was react to her with such anger and always saying I hated her. then it looked like I was the bad child that hated her "loving" mom, ungrateful child who had everything...I knew she is pretty fucked up, unhealthy, and dangerous to be around, but until I could put all of this together, I didn't realize exactly what her problem was. I think what deterred me from looking into the narcissistic angle was that I knew she isn't smart enough to be so calculated, consistent and skillful with her tactics, she always put off a feeling that she was helpless and weak and lacking depth.
It feels like everything has just clicked for me. I see it all so clearly now. too bad seeing it for what it is doesn't automatically make the pain go away. Now I know why I've hated myself all these years...could never make my own decisions or decide what I wanted to do without hearing what she had to say...
it's just so hard to believe she had all of us fooled. still to this day...my brother and I haven't talked in over 25 years bc she drove a wedge between him and I that she still keeps going. it's too bad my dad has passed bc then I'd want to talk to him about this. maybe he could see that he was sucked in by her too. could never understand how such a wonderful man, extremely intelligent, logical, could fall for that kind of woman.
And I never truly believed what she had to say about my grandpa, her father. he committed suicide when I was 5 and then my mom has tried to convince me that he was so awful to her and that he was a bad man. I have never really believed any of that.
funny...I wrote the above comment before I finished the video...listening further some of my own questions were answered. about how my dad, a highly intelligent man could fall for this, about how she tried to make her dad, my grandpa, look so bad but I never felt fully convinced...wow.
Wow. So much is coming to light for me now. I thought I was going crazy or possessed by demons or something. After year 1 with the narc I checked myself into the mental hospital for a crisis stabilization stay. They put me on meds and diagnosed me as bipolar. Damn. And it was this bull shit the whole time.
Life is changing every day, every possible way....... wish you lovely weekend