If this is not how polygamy should be handled then its not worth it. You guys see each as a ONE big family and not competitive business partners. This is the Islamic Way.
11:18 that’s so beautiful mashallah. Although I don’t have the iman or strength to get into polygyny, I have a lot of respect for how much love and compassion you show towards the other co-wive xx
This was so relatable. My CoCo was the one to initiate the contact (she’s the new wife) and it was so freeing. We speak but haven’t yet met in person, and while at the moment I feel like I can’t relate to her and don’t have much in common with each other, the thing I look forward to is learning about *her* from her, inshaAllah.
As Salamu Alaikum Lime green REALLY looks beautiful on you. You are SO FOR REAL!!! Answering those questions was cake for you…because you are honest. People can just look at you and tell that you are NO JOKE!!! May Allah Ta’ala continue to bless OPR WITH BLESSINGS UPON BLESSINGS, AMEEN
What im struggling a bit with in polygany as the initial wife is,im so used to knowing all my husbands business.We do a two week each sharing so when he comes back to me its very difficult for me not to ask him anything about his time away.For example hies away with his other wife on umrah at the moment so when he comes back,id like to know how his umrah was but its so sensitive.How do we handle this,should we rather not ask any questions about his time away?
This is really simple, set the boundary by letting him know what you just said here. You want to know how he's been and what experiences he's had but want to respect his privacy with his other wife so ask him to share anything he can while respecting her privacy and you'll understand. Umrah isn't easy, well it's easier than hajj, but simply let him know you respect her privacy and expect he isn't sharing your biz but you miss him and want to connect in that way and you'll be surprised and how much he is likely feeling the same.
SubhanAllah! السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته We're all adults here, there's no need for any extra drama. Seek refuge in الله from the evil whispers of shaytan. We all want the same thing in the end and that's janannah firdaus! Do things for the sake of الله. It will be smooth sailing by HIS Mercy! 🤲اللهم امين 🧕👳♂️🧕
Assalaamu alaikum, Coach Fatima. When I hear you and Coach Nyla speak, what comes to my mind is how important it is for the husband to choose strongly believing wives. If the first wife puts her nafs and her love for her husband above her love for Allah, it's not going to work. Similarly, if the incoming wife puts her ego or love for her husband above her love for Allah, it won't work. Each wife in a polygamous marriage must put both her ego and any possessiveness aside and try to react in an Islamic manner to whatever happens in the family and to whoever joins the family. Also, to be comfortable with a co-wife participating in raising your children, you must be able to trust that she understands Islam well and intends to treat your children according to Islamic standards-- which means with mercy, kindness, fairness, and with the goal of pleasing Allah in her treatment of your kids. And each wife's treatment of another wife must be with the goal of pleasing Allah. Only in this way will harmony and wisdom prevail in the family. Alhamdulilah, by the grace and mercy of Allah, Coach Nadir has been blessed with two wives who are trying to do right by Allah and this they strive to conduct themselves Ialamically in their treatment of all family members. I am posting this mostly as a reminder to Muslim men to choose believing and practicing women, otherwise he will be playing with dynamite and seeking up his family for failure if he marries women whose highest goal is not the pleasure of Allah. I have seen too many polygamous marriages implode and fail because of that reason. Another cause of polygamous marriages imploding or exploding is when the husband himself does not deal Islamically with every single member of his family. So, sisters, if you are going to enter a polygamous marriage, or any marriage, strive to marry a pious and Islamically knowlegable man, who will strive to treat all his family members well and impartially, for the sake of Allah's pleasure. Also, if either of the wives do not raise their children Islamically, they can be bad influence on the other wives children. That is one of the possible perils of polygamy. For these reasons and so many others, its essential to pray to Allah for guidance before a marriage, asking Him to help you find a spouse who loves Allah and strives to please Him. Please excuse my mini-lecture, but I felt I had to get that off my chest. And please excuse me, Coaches, if I accidentally misspelled your names. I think you are doing a great service for the Mislim community. Jazakum Allah kheir .
One question I would have is how you deal with negativity about polygyny within the Islamic community itself. There seems to be a lot of pressure against polygyny in some circles. My interest is for the sake of dawah-- calling people to respect what Allah , though His Wisdom and Mercy, has made halal, and not opposing anything that our Creator has made permissable. I hope you three coaches can address that in an upcoming video.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi I'll try to get him on one of the live streams, unfortunately I work long hours in the hospital but I'll do my best to get a chance to ask him. Me and my wife are in the middle of expanding our family. I explore a few potentials and she filters them out and picks one that best suits her in co-parenting co-wife.
@@Zahra._240 wa alaikum alsalam sister, I don't know how to explain it here by texting and limited capabilities of expressing, but I'll give you an analogy , it's like a non Muslim woman hating the idea of covering up and wearing hijab and having to fast for 1 whole month etc, but for a Muslim woman she doesn't see it in the same way because she truly understands the reasons and wants to do it because she's convinced. My wife KNOWS me and knows how I live life (for the sake of Allah and the Muslims) and she believes in me and yes the topic was initially at first a " not my thing" but now she truly understands and wants to be a part of it and she came up with the idea that I seek out potentials and she picks from them the one the best suits her in co-wifing and co-parenting. But I have still yet to find suitable woman
It is a difficult life. This is more self therapy as it is advising others. The jealous aspect and the pain of sharing never goes away. 😢I would advise one never to go into it. Period. Despite my opinion, good video.
I think jealousy and pain are very much personal issues. It's not a given that women in polygamy will suffer much from the "pain of sharing." I have been both a prior wife and a subsequent wife, and I didn't let those issues get to me. I was generally feeling ok about things. One's reactions reflect what their priorities are. Your understanding of and perspective on Islam, your cultural perceptions of what "should" be, and how emotionally "sensitive" you are, will all contribute to your level of contentment or pain. Also, some people easily feel "hurt," while others don't. Some are more prone to jealousy than others. It really depends on the person. Alhamdulilah that Allah doesn't judge us for our emotions, but only on our actions and intentions.
Wa Alaykum As salaam @kenzasalaam, Thank you so much for your kind words and suggestions! Unfortunately, we won't be able to do a hijab/covering video at this time. We appreciate your understanding and support. Stay tuned for more content, and we hope to cover this topic in the future, Insha'Allah! 🌸~Coach Fatimah
I love the emotional intelligence in practice here, you all are examples to so many families polygynous or not. Thank you for sharing.
If this is not how polygamy should be handled then its not worth it. You guys see each as a ONE big family and not competitive business partners. This is the Islamic Way.
11:18 that’s so beautiful mashallah. Although I don’t have the iman or strength to get into polygyny, I have a lot of respect for how much love and compassion you show towards the other co-wive xx
This was so relatable. My CoCo was the one to initiate the contact (she’s the new wife) and it was so freeing. We speak but haven’t yet met in person, and while at the moment I feel like I can’t relate to her and don’t have much in common with each other, the thing I look forward to is learning about *her* from her, inshaAllah.
I wouldnt mind a longer vid 😊
You and your co-wife have such a beautiful spirit I just love watching you guys Most High Bless ❤
As Salamu Alaikum
Lime green REALLY looks beautiful on you.
You are SO FOR REAL!!! Answering those questions was cake for you…because you are honest. People can just look at you and tell that you are NO JOKE!!!
May Allah Ta’ala continue to bless OPR WITH BLESSINGS UPON BLESSINGS, AMEEN
Am glad hearing this. it's always adding to me when i listen to you and your family❤
What im struggling a bit with in polygany as the initial wife is,im so used to knowing all my husbands business.We do a two week each sharing so when he comes back to me its very difficult for me not to ask him anything about his time away.For example hies away with his other wife on umrah at the moment so when he comes back,id like to know how his umrah was but its so sensitive.How do we handle this,should we rather not ask any questions about his time away?
This is really simple, set the boundary by letting him know what you just said here. You want to know how he's been and what experiences he's had but want to respect his privacy with his other wife so ask him to share anything he can while respecting her privacy and you'll understand.
Umrah isn't easy, well it's easier than hajj, but simply let him know you respect her privacy and expect he isn't sharing your biz but you miss him and want to connect in that way and you'll be surprised and how much he is likely feeling the same.
SubhanAllah! السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته We're all adults here, there's no need for any extra drama. Seek refuge in الله from the evil whispers of shaytan. We all want the same thing in the end and that's janannah firdaus! Do things for the sake of الله. It will be smooth sailing by HIS Mercy! 🤲اللهم امين 🧕👳♂️🧕
You guys are amazing ❤
Masha Allah ! ! I hope i can marry a man who practices polygamy one day insha Allah. May Allah bless you all x
Why do you want to marry a man who practices polygamy?
Assalaamu alaikum, Coach Fatima. When I hear you and Coach Nyla speak, what comes to my mind is how important it is for the husband to choose strongly believing wives. If the first wife puts her nafs and her love for her husband above her love for Allah, it's not going to work. Similarly, if the incoming wife puts her ego or love for her husband above her love for Allah, it won't work. Each wife in a polygamous marriage must put both her ego and any possessiveness aside and try to react in an Islamic manner to whatever happens in the family and to whoever joins the family. Also, to be comfortable with a co-wife participating in raising your children, you must be able to trust that she understands Islam well and intends to treat your children according to Islamic standards-- which means with mercy, kindness, fairness, and with the goal of pleasing Allah in her treatment of your kids. And each wife's treatment of another wife must be with the goal of pleasing Allah. Only in this way will harmony and wisdom prevail in the family. Alhamdulilah, by the grace and mercy of Allah, Coach Nadir has been blessed with two wives who are trying to do right by Allah and this they strive to conduct themselves Ialamically in their treatment of all family members. I am posting this mostly as a reminder to Muslim men to choose believing and practicing women, otherwise he will be playing with dynamite and seeking up his family for failure if he marries women whose highest goal is not the pleasure of Allah. I have seen too many polygamous marriages implode and fail because of that reason. Another cause of polygamous marriages imploding or exploding is when the husband himself does not deal Islamically with every single member of his family. So, sisters, if you are going to enter a polygamous marriage, or any marriage, strive to marry a pious and Islamically knowlegable man, who will strive to treat all his family members well and impartially, for the sake of Allah's pleasure. Also, if either of the wives do not raise their children Islamically, they can be bad influence on the other wives children. That is one of the possible perils of polygamy. For these reasons and so many others, its essential to pray to Allah for guidance before a marriage, asking Him to help you find a spouse who loves Allah and strives to please Him. Please excuse my mini-lecture, but I felt I had to get that off my chest. And please excuse me, Coaches, if I accidentally misspelled your names. I think you are doing a great service for the Mislim community. Jazakum Allah kheir .
perfectly advised. a bad choice of wife is damaging even in monogamy let alone polygamy
No, dont apologise, this advice is priceless. May Allah reward you
Where can one purchase the book while residing in Dubai
Letstalkpolygamy.com we ship internationally
Alhamdullilah 😊
One question I would have is how you deal with negativity about polygyny within the Islamic community itself. There seems to be a lot of pressure against polygyny in some circles. My interest is for the sake of dawah-- calling people to respect what Allah , though His Wisdom and Mercy, has made halal, and not opposing anything that our Creator has made permissable. I hope you three coaches can address that in an upcoming video.
Will you guys further grow your family to 4 co-wives ? Watching and taling notes here 😅
Coach Nadir has said he isn't interested in previous videos.
That's a question better directed at him.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi I'll try to get him on one of the live streams, unfortunately I work long hours in the hospital but I'll do my best to get a chance to ask him. Me and my wife are in the middle of expanding our family. I explore a few potentials and she filters them out and picks one that best suits her in co-parenting co-wife.
@@Zahra._240 wa alaikum alsalam sister, I don't know how to explain it here by texting and limited capabilities of expressing, but I'll give you an analogy , it's like a non Muslim woman hating the idea of covering up and wearing hijab and having to fast for 1 whole month etc, but for a Muslim woman she doesn't see it in the same way because she truly understands the reasons and wants to do it because she's convinced.
My wife KNOWS me and knows how I live life (for the sake of Allah and the Muslims) and she believes in me and yes the topic was initially at first a " not my thing" but now she truly understands and wants to be a part of it and she came up with the idea that I seek out potentials and she picks from them the one the best suits her in co-wifing and co-parenting. But I have still yet to find suitable woman
It is a difficult life. This is more self therapy as it is advising others. The jealous aspect and the pain of sharing never goes away. 😢I would advise one never to go into it. Period. Despite my opinion, good video.
Many people's opinions or statements are mistaken for advice, no matter how ill-informed it may be, similar to yours.
I think jealousy and pain are very much personal issues. It's not a given that women in polygamy will suffer much from the "pain of sharing." I have been both a prior wife and a subsequent wife, and I didn't let those issues get to me. I was generally feeling ok about things. One's reactions reflect what their priorities are. Your understanding of and perspective on Islam, your cultural perceptions of what "should" be, and how emotionally "sensitive" you are, will all contribute to your level of contentment or pain. Also, some people easily feel "hurt," while others don't. Some are more prone to jealousy than others. It really depends on the person. Alhamdulilah that Allah doesn't judge us for our emotions, but only on our actions and intentions.
Assalamu Alaikum ❤ sisters please do a hijab/ covering video please. MashaAllah y’all are beautiful!
Wa Alaykum As salaam @kenzasalaam,
Thank you so much for your kind words and suggestions! Unfortunately, we won't be able to do a hijab/covering video at this time. We appreciate your understanding and support. Stay tuned for more content, and we hope to cover this topic in the future, Insha'Allah! 🌸~Coach Fatimah
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