@@RobeTrotting If someone hosts a party (for drinking) it's strange if you show up on the dot. Especially if it's before 10pm. If it's a dinner one might assume that the food is ready right around the time you've invited them.
@@RobeTrotting We hosts parties with shoes on too. It differs. It's not hard to ask the first guests to take off their shoes and the rest will follow suit.
Oh, I know that one! It's because Danish spelling was invented a couple hundred years ago and hasn't really been updated since, despite pronounciation obviously changing.
Slightly ironic, considering you wrote than in English, another language infamous for its inconsistencies with pronunciation and writing :D But yeah, a lot of languages have this issue due to how spoken and written language usually develop separately
Im going to Denmark for a semester, Im from NYC born and raised so I figured it would be very different. But hearing that people don’t like talking to strangers made me tear up from joy, I have never wanted something more.
Hey Angelica, that's so exciting - where will you be studying? All of our experiences are in Copenhagen, so there are some regional differences, but no matter what we think you'll love your time in Denmark. Feel free to connect with us on IG or anywhere else if you have any questions we can help with! 😀
@@RobeTrotting That is so kind! Thank you! I should be in Copenhagen for the most part but I might jump around just to learn more about the country. Again thank you!
Just try to have a good reason to ask them. And accept if they are busy, because Danes are usually punctual and on their way to something that has their focus.
@@dortek882 True - Copenhagen is not Denmark, it just another big city, with the problems that plague all big cities: Noise, traffic problems - most of them self-inflicted, loneliness, distance, rudeness. Coupled with the problems that it is very hard for people to make queue, and keep it. People are not queuing-up for a taxi, they are fighting for them.
@@angelicaaranda6424 you might just want to stay in copenhagen haha, maybe Aarhus is worth a visit. Denmark is really centralized and our smaller cities, are Well, really small. But it of course depends on what you’re looking for
The small talk thing DOES happen in smaller towns and suburban areas. I used to live a few kilometers north of Copenhagen but moved to North Jutland, it was a huge difference in mentally of people - more laid back. I remember one of the first things that I experienced as different was that the school kids talked to the busdriver in polite and sweet manner, busdriver also stopped to empty mailboxes and even collected money for the local lotto club xD But also, when standing in line at the store, they DO small talk here, and strangers greet each other either with a nod of the head or a simple hi and a smile. It's actually very nice and cozy that way.
I agree, I live in Jutland and came here from the UK, I have found that lots of people come and try small talk with me. It only works if they speak English thou as my Danish is still shit and that's after 10 years of trying lol. In my defence, I am hard of hearing and have tinnitus so I miss hearing certain vowels / letters
i mean true, but i’d say it’s only being used when someone is just being unaware of their surroundings or when they’re being irritating lol, also Denmark has ALOT of road rage, if you look like you’re from a different ethnic background and you don’t drive or bike exactly like old man Paul had imagined, “go home to your own country” will sadly often be thrown out the car window as he drives past
@@kasper3382 ........you’re either white as paper or just don’t live in a ghetto then lol, as much as i hate to say it in denmark racism is so common we have a fun word for it called “hygge racisme” for when we’re feeling like being racist...ya know, for fun....search it up literally anywhere and you’ll find endless cases of this scenario, you just don’t wanna admit it cuz you personally haven’t experienced it and therefor it doesn’t matter...
The “rugbrød” did make my ears bleed a little 😂 but you guys are so sweet and it’s clear you have love for Danes and really make an effort. And for that I send you love in return! ❤️
Bread made from rye is not exclusive to Denmark. And I’m sure the Turkish make some great bread. Never said we invented it. Rugbrød directly translated just means rye bread. And we Danes eat a lot of it. That’s all ❤️
Fuck janteloven, jeg er så træt af at man ikke kan bruge sine egne tjæntr penge, på noget som gør mig gladuden at folk for ondt i røven, fordi JEG har arbejdet for de penge, og de penge er MINE. Bare som exempel, og undskyld hvis at det virkede aggressivt, men jeg har haft en meget dårlig uge! Undskyld for at det lige skulle gå ud over dig! Ellers have en god dag
@@abcxyz8116 No that only shows humility. As the wise chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said: “I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.” ― Lao Tzu
@@antonness9249 That’s interesting for me as a Chinese studying in Denmark saw the Tao (Lao Tzu) philosophy in a video about Denmark. Thanks! Taoism are really different from Confucianism for my point of view, and much of the Chinese (also maybe Americans and others culture) consider “敢为天下先”(dare to ahead of others, stand out, which’s one of the central idea of Confucianism) as a good character. But I think law of Jante or Taoism for most case is good for the society in general, which promote equality, diverse pursuing value and a better life. It can’t be everyone ‘ahead of others’, someone ahead and then someone fall behind, that’s not good, people should always remember to help the behind ones. Also, if everyone stand out, then no one stand out, this still fit the law. And that’s why I love Danmark/Scandinavia culture.
@@RobeTrotting, you need to remember this: We're the only ones allowed to hate on Swedes! This is a sibling relationship, and while it's mostly about football now, it was very bloody a couple of hundred years ago.
Janteloven: My late mother would tell this anecdote: An American farmer visits his distant family in Denmark, also farmers. The Dane invites him to come out in the fields to see the land. They get in the Dane's old car, and the American says: "When I get in my car and drive out on my farm, it will be supper time before I reach the other end of my property!" "Yeah", says the Dane, "I had a car like that long ago".
About foreigners trying to speak English, we really appreciate the effort by foreigners, but sometimes the Danish person may be in a hurry or maybe just not in the mood and in those cases, the Dane may ask the foreigner to use English. At any other time, we mostly welcome the effort of foreigners to practice their Danish language skills and we are usually more than willing to help out.
Yes, we really appreciate those chances too. Once we had a late lunch - about 2pm and there was hardly anyone left in the restaurant and our server was super kind and went through the whole meal in Danish. She had to repeat a few things and asked us to do the same here and there, but it was really sweet and we felt very accomplished after we left.
@@RobeTrotting The cultural traits are that we always feel responsible for the conversation being smooth, so we are expected to speak the language of most foreigners visiting or try to do so. Never take it as criticism, because it is our culture as a small, but highly progressive nation to make communication as good as possible, hence most Danes speak several languages; French, Spanish, German, and of course English. It is subconscious behaviourism to be understood, even if this is our home country. We are basically in that particular area complete opposite of the French, Italian etc. The same goes with the punctuality, where the Romance language countries, live much by the 'manana' paradigm.
It’s kinda funny we are probably more expected to speak a foreign language but it’s perfectly fine that’s our culture personally I love languages and I can’t wait to get to learn Japanese
"Foreigners" "trying", hey? Well, if the Danish is at a level of reasonable communication, then asking them to simply speak English is just plain rude. Maybe a non-Dane studied Danish extremely hard before coming to Denmark. If they can communicate well enough to not waste too much of your precious time, then please let the conversation take place in Danish.
Moving to the US as exchange student in high school I was super surprised by the "how's it going" (me starting with a long answer, them continuing to walk) and the "let's hang out" (me being super excited but just discovering they weren't being genuine). It's small stuff but good to know!
Yes, we never really took a hard look at the little things Americans do and say that are confusing (or even rude). In many ways, living in Denmark has taught us just as much about America - it's like a big mirror.
the "bringing a gift" is mostly for if you are going to have dinner at their place, or you don't know each other very well. and yes up to 15m early is proper, just not earlier, and better have a good reason if you are more than5m late
I show up 5 minutes before, wait out of sight until the exact minute, then go and knock😆 Unless we are close friends, then I show up early to help. More than 2 minutes late? I will let my host know if possible, if not I will be very appologetic. Very danish. I studied in an international program and one of the main reasons some danes avoided working with people from certain nationalities, was that they thought it was acceptable to show up up to 45 minutes late for group work. We expect people to respect our time.
Arhh 15 minutes early is not good manner at all. Some members of the family is still in the shower or not having their dresses on yet. If you are this early, then stay away and walk around the area for the 15 minutes. Do not ring the bell before the agreed time being there. And if you are late, then you better warn the host before it actually happens. It is about timing the food for dinner and so on. If you know you are 10 minutes late, then you better note the host at least half an hour before. If you continue to come early or late = you will not get another invitation.
I can really confirm the Danish problem with the “fake” let’s meet again. I lived in Boston for six months in 2001, and people I would probably never meet again, at the end of the conversation would say an apparently heartfelt “Oh, it was so nice meeting you!” And then there was an awkward pause when I didn’t reciprocate. I actually practiced saying it convincingly at home, so I could rattle it off, when people said it to me. It still felt like a lot like lying, since they could have no opinion on me after five minutes and hardly no conversation, and we weren’t likely to ever meet again.
Yes, wow - this is a great example. A lot of American social behavior is "niceties" and the small talk and "how are you" question are only the beginning. It really extends into a lot of our surface interactions because we don't know how to just say nothing - so we fill all the silence with what we think people want to hear.
@@sararosen2399 Danish politeness is all about saying thank you. We sometimes end up in floods of thank you, you’re welcome, oh it was nothing etc. It is polite to always say thank you for the meal, when you’re finished eating, even at home to the person who prepared it or to each other. A lot of Danish politeness is probably more about not intruding on people, it’s considered polite to give each other space, such as not choosing a seat next to someone, if there’s a free one on the bus, not engaging in small talk with strangers.
@@sararosen2399 We do indeed, i doubt any culture exists without some sort of niceties, the most common one in Denmark is probably the "How is it going?" or "What have you been up to?" noone really wants an extended detailed answer to any of these, but it's more of a way to show the person that you are curious about their day or what they have been up to since you last saw them.
@@sararosen2399 I must have some hidden Danish connections in my DNA. 😜 I am fairly introverted by nature, and unless I am supposed to talk to someone about something important, or I want to know someone, I don't usually make a habit of small talk with much of anyone. I prefer deeper conversations anyway. In the US, introvertedness is taken as being antisocial, and extroverted behavior is prized. As an introverted person born here in the States, I have never understood this obsession with being overly social to the point of making small talk with strangers. And speaking to the point of Americans being loud and rude, I agree with this assessment, and I think it's embarrassing. Again, it goes back to the whole "extroverted behavior is prized" thing. 🤦♀️
I don't understand what is wrong with saying nice meeting you though? Just because it has been nice meeting a person, it does not mean one has to continue to talk to them for years. The alternative would sound rude to me, like, ok bye?
For the love of god do not arrive earlier than 10 minutes ahead. 5 minutes early can be appreciated as it shows you value the other persons time, but don't push it. I'm doing this for your own good. Never late though, NEVER.
A good rule of thumb is 5 minutes early or late is absolutely fine. 10 minutes early or late I expect a text saying you're either a little late, or asking if it's okay you come a little earlier.
Yeah, being even a few minutes late is considered quite rude and disrespectful. Not just in Denmark tho, but in most of Europe, which is but 1 of the reasons, why Trump is so thoroughly despised over here, I mean, honestly the man has ZERO manners. But the first impression, u give, is being on time, showing that u value the other persons time. Since Trump is never on time, indeed always very to very very very late, it makes it clear, that he has zero respect for us or our time, and that he expects to be treated as superior, as every1 else will have to adapt to him and his behavior. All very big no-nos. And his behavior just kept getting worse from there. So basically, if u want to make a Dane like u, look at Trump and his behavior, then behave the complete opposite.
Engang da jeg skulle have nogen over gik der også over en TIME! Jeg havde absolut ingen ide om hvad jeg skulle stille op hele den tid. Once i had a somebody over, it also took over an HOUR! I had absolutely no idea about what i should do that entire time.
You are SO right about the "How are you doing?" 🤣 I got tired of a previous american boss, asking / saying that when he passed me in the hallway, so I followed him for about 2 minutes and told him how I was doing ☺️ (This happened here in Denmark, I would never had done it in our US office 👍) He never said it /asked me again 🤣
HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂 That must have been hilarious, we would have loved to witness that. Hopefully he was a good sport about it and understood the humor of the situation.
You would like my boss, then. He's introverted as anything, like I am, so it actually took him a good while to even ask me 'how are you?' And even then, neither he or I waste time with niceties. If he's comfortable with someone, he'll go ahead and flip shit with em, but it takes time with him. And because I am rather in awe of him as a person, my own introverted nature is multiplied. So when he ventured to ask 'how are you?', all I could do was just answer 'I'm fine,' even though I'm very intuitive and sensed he did want to know me better.
"how are you" is a phatic expression in English. It is a mistake to take it literally. It is a common mistake in many ESL countries, so it is best to avoid it in that context. It is good teach Americans about this, but it seems harsh to condemn them for not knowing that their audience may well make this mistake.
The point about speaking danish and not speaking danish is very true. It depends a lot on how the situation is around you. I used to work at a coffee shop where a lot of turists and foreigners would visit and I actually quite enjoyed helping some of them with their learning of pronunciation…..but just not when there’s 5 people behind them😅
A Dane here with two small comments :) Firstly regarding our switching to English. It is often us trying to be polite, as we see a person struggling (and possibly be a bit nervous or embarrased) we want to help by switching to English. The second thing is regarding small talk - you are absolutely right, I usually just add that it doesn't apply if you have a question or need help in some way.
Funny stuff, one of the rare occasions where the title isn’t total click bait. You really got a good handle on us, and as we say in Danish “med et glimt i øjet”.
@@RobeTrotting You asked us to hold you accountable on your danish. "Vi" is plural so "rigtig" and "sjov" should end on an e. "Rigtige" and "sjove". Thanks for the content.
"how are you doing?" YES!! I HATE this line!! I lived in Australia for 6 months and having everyone and anyone, including cashiers ask "how are you doing" was about to drive me nuts! - Me a Dane
Haha and they have no idea how much they are killing you on the inside! One of our best friends visited us a few years ago, walked into Espresso House and walked right up to the cashier and said "hey, how are you doing!?" and then stared at the menu for about a minute to decide what he wanted. I think the cashier wanted to either kill him or run away from him haha
Circle K also bought gas stations in Denmark and their employees were suppose to greet you with something similar. Told them at my regular place that if they did that I would turn around and leave. It is so un danish and all to american (or Canadian in this case)
Ha! Yes! We Aussies almost make a single word of the greeting-question, 'howyagoin?' or 'howarya?' Totally appropriate to respond with 'G'day' or 'Hi', or even the same greeting-question. I think it is probably a way to signal egalitarianism in the interaction, to keep things casual.
@@jvkanufan8115 Yep, I actually struggle not to greet people with 'howsitgoin?' Even though I haven't lived in Australia for 12 years. But I always hated in Australia when people working in shops asked me 'How are you today?' or 'how's your day been so far?' Aaargh! None of your effing business.
Working in an international company, you give me something to think about. You are describing us Danes quite accurate. But trying to understand the challenges a foreigner go through to adapt is quite eye opening. Great video! Thanks.
Haha, great job you two, quite fun to watch as a Dane. "How are you?" "Well my wife left me, dog died, cat died, lost my job, so it's pretty shitty tbh" "Oh i'm sorry, that must be terrible" "Nonono, i'm good, i shouldn't be complaining, my life is good compared to some other's - so how are you?" "I'm great, thanks, i've been travelling around, business is looking good atm" "..."
Nice to reflect on things that were new to me when I first moved to Denmark nineteen years ago. I had to work on getting used to the Danish directness and way of expressing their humor at first. Still, there are some differences between Copenhagen and the rural areas of Denmark. For instance, you are quite welcome to initiate a Smalltalk in the queue and talk about the weather anytime you like.
Hej Edite, you’re quite right. We definitely feel like people are more engaging outside of Sjælland and a bit more curious to chat with these random foreigners haha Thank you for watching and sharing a bit about your experiences 😃🇩🇰
Yeah, I totally feel the "How are you doing?" one ... Once I was in Canada, and I wet into a shop just to look around. The cashier was like "Hey, how are you doing?" and mem being a socially awkward Dane, mumbled "fine" and fled the store, never to return ..
I agree! the weirdest experience i had was when i was walking to the bus. I saw two people walt towards each other start the greeting, then half way through they past each other and just ended up the greeting while not even looking at each other. I just stopped and could not believe it :o
Look up the story about when Walmart tried to corner the German market back in the early 90s. Bought a German supermarket chain and went all in on Americanism, from constantly clashing with authorities for repeated violations of labor laws to chasing away customers with greeters in ur face, the moment they walked in the store. Being Danish I didnt get the experience myself, but I talked to a couple of Germans, who did, and I checked it out online. Basically Walmart thought, they could just do the exact same concept in Germany, they used in the US. They did zero research of laws, culture, societal norms, anything at all, and they were apparently incapable of learning from early setbacks. And thats why theres no Walmarts in Germany.
Totally agree. You can wear whatever you want to the office. Shorts all year. Everyday hawaii shirt. Statement t-shirts. Flashy colors... Anything goes in most offices.
@@Youberc of course. We can all like what ever and who ever we want. Some like it colorful some don't. Nobody's in the wrong. It's just preferences. Just my opinion as 1/2 dane 1/2 faroese 😉
My great grandmother is from Copenhagen. As a 4th generation American, I’m proud of my Danish heritage. I love & admire my Danish grandparents. We still enjoy our Danish traditions: Hard Work, Value of higher Eduction, Red mush. Fish Cakes, Open Sandwiches. Danish Pastry. Biking & hiking ❤️ HYGGE We visited Copenhagen & all the women looked like my cousins! Thank you for the fun informative post!
This was great to come across as I lived in Denmark for two years in my late teens! I did manage to attain near-fluency in what many regard as a difficult language and I was surprised at how much I could recall. I’ve lived in Australia now for over 50 years but my memories of Denmark are with me to this day. Thanks for making an old man happy! ❤️
@@RobeTrotting Is this a good time to tell you they also have numbers in the US, just not as much in common use, but most years they're not the same numbers. So week 4 in Denmark can be week 3 in the US, not to mention the whole thing about when the week starts...
Wow, I must say that you guys are completely on point with these things! I’ve always felt like Americans can be quite overwhelming (due to all the cultural differences you’ve just mentioned), but you guys have really mastered how to be likeable to Danes! My first thought was ‘wow, these Americans seem so nice and down to earth’ 😂
Thanks Louise 😀 that's so sweet! You're right though, Americans can be "extra" haha. Since we're not around them so much we kind of forget this until we visit family in the States (and sometimes we ease back into our old habits haha).
I have met several expats and have seen some vids on expats in Denmark. You are the first who completely nailed it. Everyone moving to Denmark should watch this.
About the small talk. I think it depends on where you live. It's more common to do in small towns/villages. You also say hi, or acknowledge their presence in any way,to most people you pass, even though you have no idea who they are. Mostly applies when on foot.
Fully agree with that. And I think that difference between cities and small towns is universal. And part of that in small towns is because you probably already met the person before and don't want to make it look like you forgot 😋
Not only on foot. Motorcyclist always greet each other when they meet on the road, and conversations springs up immediately at stops. Yachtsmen also greet each other - if we feel anything in common, we greet. I'm not a young man anymore, and I think the ignorance of others are more widespread among young people.
I was waiting for the outside shoes part. Thank you! Nothing more rude than people not taking their shoes off when they visit you. And nothing worse than having to tell people to take their shoes off in your house if they don't do it themselves.
Theres 1 thing more awkward tho. Outside shoes have always been banned indoors in my family, and it feels incredibly rude, when ppl are invited to ur home, and they just come stomping in across the floors in their outside shoes, and u have to ask them to take them off. Theyre usually quite apologetic, but the damage is done, the mood is broken. Much worse tho is asking ppl not to smoke in ur home, tho that really shouldnt have to be said, that u dont just fire up a smoke without asking permission first. After all, it might be a personal habit, but its a habit, thats at best annoying to non-smokers, at worst affecting their health. Like for some1 like me with my allergies, even passing some1 smoking on the street outside and inadvertently getting a whiff of their smoke gives a very uncomfortable rip in my throat, indoor smoking is completely out of the question. Yet I cannot count the many potential friendships, Ive lost over the years, coz ppl couldnt accept, that their personal freedom to smoke didnt supercede my personal freedom to breathe. That it should be them being considerate, since its their habit, thats affecting others, rather than others making allowances for them. Imo, and ofc Im biased with my history, u can do, whatever u want, as long as its not affecting others. Once ur actions are affecting others, the onous is on u to make sure not to be a nuisance, not the other way around. Thankfully, the attitudes have been changing over the last couple of decades, and ppl now usually ask b4 lighting up, but there are still ppl, who simply do not get, how badly their personal habit can affect others, and think, that Im the rude 1 for denying them the right to pollute my home and my lungs. Then again, thats a quite easy first sorting mechanism for ppl worth ur time and friendship.
Many janitors in housing estates wears easy to remove shoes for the same reason. Only if you are the police or the meter reader from the heating company etc, are you socially allowed to keep your outdoor shoes on inside.
@@RobeTrotting I saw this sign outside the living-quarters of a drilling-rig: NO boots, NO excuses, NO exceptions. Just NO BOOTS. I saw the same in a big cattle-farm, where a bath and change of clothes were (was?) mandatory before entering the house.
Now I understand why the Danish guy I met in Wacken Open Air festival didn't add me on Facebook or respond to my Instagram message. Its because we only had a long conversation just once. We're still strangers! Fair enough, but I miss that guy. He was such a sweet guy. I forgive him for not letting me in and I'm thankful for the short time we had together, and his sweet Danish style kiss! 😅 ❤️💕 Thank you so much both of you, for giving me the closure i thought i would never get! You guys are the best! 💯
We basically don't care about your success (status), we care about who you are as a person 🤗So a person who talks a lot about himself, shows where his focus is and it reflects poorly on him... We actually don't mind you having success, just don't talk about it in a way that is self-promoting. 😇 - This was fun and interesting! 🙂
The thing with “how you’re doing” is also that ; it seems like in America it’s just a way to say hi. You don’t really care what the response is. If something asks you how you are doing in Denmark. It’s the start of a long meaningful conversation
Yes, that's a good way to explain the difference. In America it's really just a greeting, but it's a deep question in Denmark and can cause some confusion if it's not used correctly.
@@RobeTrotting Exactly, and not just with this expression. If u ask a question, u dont really want the answer to, we're like "wtf are u asking for then?". Dont waste our time with questions, u dont want the answer to, and which often are felt as quite intrusive, if u dont know the person, ur asking, pretty well. It just comes off as both very nosey and pointless. And if u think, its bad in Copenhagen, u should come to Jutland, we make the Zeelanders despair, since we often find THEM to also be rude and abrasive and intrusive 😈
@@dfuher968 yeah true. There’s an huge difference between Copenhageners and the rest of Denmark. If you find it hard not to irritate Danes in Copenhagen. Jutland would be hell hahah
This is a pet peeve of mine mostly reserved for people who vacation in Denmark... A lot of people who visit us tend to ONLY visit København and the immediate area, and then act like they have truely "been to Denmark"! A very common joke to people outside København is that it's a completely different world to the rest of the country. To us, only visiting København and say that you know how our country works, is like us visiting only New York, and then act like we know how America works... If you want to REALLY make a dane like you, take some trips around the country, to see how people live outside København; make an effort to understand that København is a very tiny piece of the danish puzzle, and that just because our capitol is what it is, it's not a representation of the entire country, which mostly consists of smaller towns and farms, with most of the towns housing less than 2000 people... If you talk to a dane, and they can feel that you know this from experience, it goes a long way with us
@@jonasmariboe3450 I have just watched SOOO many videos with titles along the lines of "My trip to Denmark" or something like that, and then all they see and talk about in that time is København... Just call it what it is: "My trip to København"!
Denmark is much the same everywhere. The culture of which they talk about is essentially the same, even if you live where the crows have turned. The laws of Jante may be more prevalent in Jutland, and the outskirts of Denmark, but it is more about city folk versus small communities, that exists everywhere. When it comes the culture itself, most Danes follow the same cultural traits.
Jeg er dansker og jeg ville ønske, at andre danskere ville være bedre til at tale med fremmede, som de ikke allerede kender. Så ville der være færre ensomme mennesker.
This^ I think it goes for other things as well, where Danes want to do certain things but just don't. The reason often being because it just isn't "normal". Basically everyone hates janteloven but lives it out anyway.
I live in Denmark since 2014, have not learned the language, have had no problems with these sweet beautiful beings, they keep me in their country like a mother holds her children tight, I do not have friends at all, but they are all my family, every time I need help they don't hesitate to help as if I'm one of them. I come here for work, and then later I realized that life is so easy and carefree that I could also start spiritual inner journey of self realization and am now living a spiritual life in Denmark and would not have it any other way, I have become even more modest than I come here, and now this country looks even more like a Sanctuary.
Super late to the party, I know. But I find the "Bringing a gift" one super interesting. Because my first instinct was, "No, that ain't right?" But I quickly realized it sort of is. It's less about the gift itself and more about being a good guest. So we definitely show our appreciation for being invited, if not with a gift, then offering to help clear the table or do the dishes. Or we'll ask if we should bring something when invited into someone's home or even arrive earlier to help set up. Looking at your own culture through someone else's eyes is always good fun. Thank you for the delightful insight.
Hello Derek and Mike, The bringing of gifts when visiting for the first time or to a dinner party really depends on where, how and in what class in society you live. For example take me, I live in Jutland in a bottom middle class family. We don't bring gifts when visiting someone for the first time. Though, depending on the situation, we do bring the host a gift. The part about reaching out afterwards is a big yes, in my book! If you say "let's meet up again" it really is expected of you to at least reach out and try and figure something out again. Of course we also know, that sometimes it might be difficult to plan something, so we are glad that you at least tried to follow through with it. And yeah, we definitely are planners, but we still have to look through a calendar to see what dates a certain week is lol Also, a good tip if you don't feel like meeting up with them again, and they say "hey, we should meet up again sometime!" you can almost always respond with "We'll see", "If I have time" or the likes of that. Usually, you have a leeway of +- 15 minutes. But it really depends on the person. When it comes to things like job interviews and business meetings, showing up around 5 minutes early is really good. Never, and I mean it, NEVER show up late to anything business related, whether it's a job interview or something else. The biking rules are there for your safety, and there is actually a lot of Danes that don't follow them. I personally find it annoying. The rules in Denmark with ringing is, that you are basically only allowed to ring it, if something dangerous might happen. The same applies with honking a car horn. And one thing we Danes are good at, is being mad at each other for not following the rules, and getting annoyed at others for getting angry at you because you were not following the rules haha. Yes! Don't talk to us, if you don't know us. Though, it is important to keep in mind, that sometimes the situation just makes sense for you to talk. Like if you accidentally step to close to someone in the supermarket. Or if you make a funny mistake or the like, you might sometimes be able to small talk. It is very difficult to know when and where, but whenever you figure it out, it can get you to meet some amazing people! In pools and gyms, we make those rules for shoes because of the floors. In gyms, a lot of the time, the floor is not made to handle dirt and the like. By pools and the indoor swimming pools, it is mostly because you have to be clean to enter the water. If you walk with dirty shows all over the changing room, the pool will get dirty. Generally, most of what you have said is generally true, but like with everything else, there are always exceptions hahaha. They all really depend on where in the country you are and who it is. I'm glad that you are doing well here in Denmark and that you are interested in our culture and sharing it and your experiences to the world. I hope my little comment here can explain some things and help you along the way. Regards Simon.
Simon, thank you SO much for your kind words and thoughtful reply. We really appreciate the advice and clarification and your time. It definitely seems like some of these things are regional and you definitely helped fill in a few knowledge gaps. I know we find it helpful and so will others who read it preparing to move to Denmark. Your comments about "being mad at each other for not following the rules, and getting annoyed at others for getting angry at you because you were not following the rules" is SO funny. We have definitely noticed this one in so many big and small examples over the years of living here haha. Thanks again for watching and replying 😀🇩🇰
As a Dane, I am gonna admit this made me a burst of a laugh. Nevertheless, I have some small things to add to those things you talked about. - When you making a plan and let's say 12 o'clock it is okay to come a little later as long you write or call beforehand and explain a "good reason" why you are late. I know from myself that I am way more okay with people coming later, if you can explain why you are late :) - We are quite private when it comes to small talk or conversation out in the town, but are so the opposite when we have a drink. We have a tense to be way more open when drinking together. I say this because I meet an American in my city some years ago in an official transport and was shocked when she sat next to me suddenly just talked about her life, like we knew each other 😅 - About the "how are you doing?" you can actually make a conversation if you make an icebreaker by asking something you both have in common interest/hobby. You both missed the bus? Talk about it, or the guy next to you has a t-shirt with a band you know? Ask about it. I know it will work since I have made some good friend out of it :)
You guys are awesome! I love watching your videos. I'm a Dane that just moved back home to Copenhagen after many years abroad, and even I need a little reminder of how to Dane now
In the intro at 0:56 I recognised we’re you guys were and I was like wait that’s kerteminde! I’ve been there and the bridge you guys are standing on I have jumped off into the water. That’s such a funny coincidence
As a Dane I think you’ve done amazing observations about the culture. Thank you for the «rugbrød» part. I had to replay it a couple of times - it really had me giggle! Keep up the good work :-)
I have to say that smalltalk with people you don't know, in for instance a que - is quite normal. Just not something above two or three sentences, like "it's raining like mad today huh?" when you see the other person wringing their scarf, they will most likely smile and nod saying "yeah it was nice this morning, so i didn't wear a rainjacket", and you'd say something like "The weatherman says it will be better tomorrow", or you'd say "It's going to be like this all week" - the other person will acknowledge this . and the conversation is done, more than that we'd move into awkward land. But short and un-committing smalltalk is absolutely socially acceptable. What is NOT acceptable is commenting on what other people (you don't know) is buying, and it doesn't matter if you are the one selling it, or you're standing next in line.
10:33 There's a (somewhat) common expression in Denmark "Tid er et punkt, ikke et område", which is a word on play, and directly translates "Time is a point (as in point of time where the word on play comes in), not an area", which basically means be at where you need to be, at the dot.
You guys are brilliant. You've got us figured! I've never come across a host being hurt or maybe even notice you didn't bring anything! But the 1st time you're invited to someone's home, a bunch of flower, a jar of homemade jam, or just something to show your appreciation. And homemade things are not frowned upon! On the contrary. But for Pete's sake, don't ever give anything you'll expect the to be on "display" - you might ruin the entire entirior design :-))
Yes, exactly, flowers (from ur garden is fine) or a homemade jam or something like that. A small, non-expensive token of appreciation for being invited to some1s home for the first time. But never ever go too far and bring something expensive, that would be considered bragging. Whats important is, that to most Danes our home is our private sphere, and we dont invite just any1 in. Hence a small token to show, that u recognize the privilege, ur given, is appropriate.
Coming from The Netherlands i love Danes. Danish people and Dutch people are a bit alike. We have a bit the same phrases like "act normal, then you do already strange enough" and "us knows us"
I'm a born & raised American, from Philadelphia. After watching this video I realized, that except for the stuff about biking and not wearing outside shoes indoors, I probably come off more as Danish in my personality, than American. Lol. And, I do actually have some Danish blood, as some of my ancestors were Danish.
Very insightful and respectful video with great emphasis on the well understood cultural nuances. Good job! BTW: most of the issues you raise are very similar in Switzerland as well. So if you ever visit there, you'll fit right in.
This was very interesting to me. I’m from Virginia and I love giving compliments to strangers, asking someone if they need help if they look lost or confused, or letting someone ahead of me in line if they just have a few items and my cart is full. It’s nice to see them smile, be relieved that someone will help them find their way or the item they are looking for, or to thank me for making their errand a little bit quicker. It makes me feel better when I brighten someone’s day. I’ve had people tell me I made their day because they had been feeling down, or were worried about being late somewhere. It never occurred to me that this would bother some people. My great grandparents (on my father’s side) immigrated to the United States from Denmark separately as young adults, met in New York City and married. I didn’t know my father was half Danish until my older brother had to do a genealogy project for school. He had to bring a native dish from his family heritage to school. My parents didn’t know what to do. My mom’s grandparents (descendants not 1st generation): English grandmother & Northern Irish grandfather, Swedish grandmother & Scottish grandfather. So no language spoken except English, no family recipes from either side. My dad’s grandparents: English grandmother and German grandfather (descendants), 1st generation Danish grandmother and 1st generation Danish grandfather. So my mom thought my brother should bring something Danish to school. Except my father said he didn’t have any family traditions or recipes either. I was fascinated that my grandfather (who died before I was born) was not mixed heritage. I was interested in learning about Waldemar and Margaret (his parents) and asked what Danish traditions my dad learned from them or his dad, and if there was any neat recipes from Denmark. But my father said his grandparents rarely spoke Danish. His father and aunts only knew how to say, “I love you” in Danish. Apparently my grandfather told my dad (& siblings) that when he asked about Danish stuff as a child, he was told by his parents that they were American now. I was disappointed. I had friends that were Hispanic, Asian, Italian etc. descendants and they had family dishes and traditions they did around holidays. My mother ended up taking my brother to the library. She found a recipe for Vaniljekranse, learned how to make it, and had him write about Christmas traditions that sounded similar to what we normally did. I had my dad teach me how to say, “I love you” in Danish. I checked the pronunciation on the internet, and I think I say it okay, but who knows. I also took a copy of the recipe for Vaniljekranse my mom found with me when I married my husband. I make the cookies every Christmas and say, “I love you” in Danish and English to my kids every night. But that’s the only “heritage” I have, besides knowing what tartan my Scottish ancestors wore. My husband is of German descent and his dad taught me how to make sauerbraten and german potato pancakes. So if my children ever have to write about their family history, at least I will have something to tell them.
Thanks Gwen for your thoughts. As a born Dane, I can tell you that I was surprised by the friendliness of most Americans. At first, I thought it was strange and was defensive like many here. But having now lived in the USA for 30+ years, I feel more American than Danish and enjoy smiling and talking with strangers. It feels nice. Do some not mean it, yes. Do many mean it, yes. Now I find the Danish attitude cold and off putting. We were trained to think that anyone happy and friendly was fake which is a very dark view of our fellow humans. Instead a cold shoulder and never talking to any stranger is looked at as being "real". Body odor is also very real and natural, but do we not shower each day to be respective and make a better environment for each other? and do we not feel better about it ourselves also? yes and yes. Interestingly, when i lived in Boston, I saw them being more similar to Danes compared to California, with being distant and not smiling. Maybe it's the weather? I have never been to Montana Wyoming or the other northern states. But I would be curious to see if they are friendly, smiling with small talk or not. I hope the Danes can move their culture towards a more warm feeling. When you smile, even if you are upset inside, your day can be a little better, than if you bathe in your bad mood.
I wouldn't worry about doing any of those things. Letting someone ahead in line is very common and asking if someone needs help would only be appreciated (though probably turned down). People would definitely find it weird if you gave compliments to them, but I don't think anyone would be offended or find it annoying. It would be something they'd talk about at home. What we're not fans off is strangers striking up a conversation with us. Like, say you're reading a book on the bus and the person next to you asks you what you're reading. That type of thing.
12:15 that’s not always true though. It depends a little on the circumstances. If in a train on the way home from work, most people will probably not wanna have to talk to anyone, the same on the way to work if it’s early. If it’s vacation time, weekend or something like that I think most people don’t mind at all if you start a conversation. But don’t expect us to start it. :P As a Tourist you could find someone looking like they are waiting or relaxing in the city. You can ask for directions of if they know a good place to eat or something, most likely the conversation can develop from there especially if you come in on interest observations on Danes or Denmark. :P
You're definitely right - it's all situational. We could have explained it a little bit better. It's funny you mention being on holiday, we were in Greece a couple of years ago and some Danish women from another dinner table overheard us talking about living in Denmark, so they approached us and started a conversation. It was so funny because we thought, "wow, that's not something that would likely have happened in Denmark," but when you find a connection on holiday it's much more laid back (a few island drinks help too haha) 😀🇩🇰
Some notes on biking in Denmark. In addition to being flat, we also have great climate for biking. Winters are no too cold, and summers not too hot. If biking is to work as an actual means of transportation you need to be able to use it all year. If 2 month of the year cyclist have to use other means of transportation, assuming a lot of people normally use their bike, all other means of transportation will likely be overloaded. As for not liking you for not know how to bike, I think all we ask is that you treat biking like traffic. If you are not treating it like other traffic, you are putting people at risk and/or wasting their time.
Great point, the entire country is so great for biking due to climate, geography and most importantly government investment in the biking infrastructure.
Fun and perceptive video! A few of the things are not true for all Danes, but is class or background related. The gift-thing - I was not brought up to do it, but my wife taught me - my background being more working-class…
rules 1) Janteloven, yes you can brag about your succes AFTER you have become friends. that is NOT how you start a friendship. No one in Denmark likes a show-off. But we do like to hear about our friends succes, so please tell later. You just dont start with that first as the one. 2) If your invitet at 18:00: If you show you up at 17:45 ok but then you help with dinner: 18:00 your right on time 18:15 no later please, dinner is ready, and if the dinner that I have made is cold, It makes me sad. 3) Yes its very polite to say thanks for the evning when you go, or send a sms after. That goes a really long way.
About the language part, as a permanent resident - making effort to learn the language is appreciated, .. but we also realize Danish isn't easy, so mix matching language depending on situation is fine too, the important part is the effort, and the "over time" commitment to improvements, not so much an in the moment kinda thing, does that makes sense?
That absolutely makes sense, and now that we're going to stay and have bought a flat we are committed. We want to at least be to the point where we can follow a conversation in Danish and even if we have to reply in English (also to spare Danes from our bad accents) that will be okay. It can be a bit deflating for us to force people to change their language of conversation when we come around or to have to explain what they've been talking about (in Danish) because we didn't follow and they can tell from our faces. We really want to improve 😀
Yeah, we are SO weird about the language. If your Danish isn’t good, we insist on speaking english, but don’t tell a dane you’ve lived here more than 2-3 years, if you can’t have a conversation in danish. We definitely need to get better at allowing foreigners to practise.
hej I've been watching your videos lately, and I gotta say I really like them, I love watching different cultures reacting to the danish one, and how spot on it is, to say "ha we so,so that" and even though our ears do bleed when you say rugebrød we'll let it slide, because it's fun to hear too, I look forward to see more of your stuff, andjust a little idea, I think it could be really fun to see you react/look at danish slang/wordplay ps sorry for an esay of a comment^^
Tusind tak! So glad you enjoyed the video and thank you for the comment! We love the idea of more reaction videos to Danish things (except lakrids - we will never like lakrids haha). And Danish wordplay is definitely something we want to share as we finish learning Danish - like how "tak for kaffe" doesn't mean what you think it does!
I loved this. Thank you, guys. Very interesting insight into Danish culture. Much of what you shared reminds me of England when I grew up. The Danes sound like sensible and disciplined people. I am subscribing to your channel to learn more. Again I thank you.
These are the real laws of Copenhagen, I have almost lived my whole life in Copenhagen, and I am pure Danish. These laws fit perfectly to my expression of Copenhagen. I have experienced all the 9 tips of the video.
So glad that we touched on the right points. We've heard they're especially true in Copenhagen and less important in Jylland, but some of them are probably universally annoying to most people haha.
@@RobeTrotting I'd say most of it is true in Jylland aswell, many of us actually find the Københavnere very... Ubehøvlet, loud and overly dramatic. Bikes rules might not be so applicable, but everything else is. As for small talk, I gueeeesss it happens whenever someone does something embarrassing like dropping an entire tray of something in the grocery store.
My standard answer to "Hvordan går det?" is: "Simply terrific! I have postponed the suicide till next week! Procrastination has its merits - if not instituted immediately....."
Præcis! For det udstiller hvor overfladisk det spørgsmål er. Man spørger om det hvis man vil vide svaret eller fornemmer at noget er galt - ellers nøjes man med 'hej'! ;)
My dad used to work in the airport. He said his go to was "Trying to keep myself sober." The reactions were either uncomftable glances and apolegies or they simply didn't even pick up on his answer and just nodded and walked past him.
It's so funny how much of this explains many of my own personal quirks with which I class with my American friends. I was born in Denmark but moved to the states when I was five -- and very much feel like I'm *American* now -- but watching this, it's so clear my Danish mother raised me to be more of a Dane than I'd realized. Only thing she didn't instill is being On Time. Oops. *sigh*
Just found your channel! I studied abroad in Denmark in college (lived in Fredensborg). My fiancé did as well and we’re going back in August for our honeymoon!
thanks for this, pretty accurate! you forgot the sunglasses thing though, don't have a conversation with someone with shades on, it makes you look insincere if we can't see your eyes
Hey guys ! This was pretty spot on! Hope you are enjoying life here! And dont worry to much about learning danish! I think we are all aware that its a tricky language to learn :)
You can dress however you like in Denmark, don't feel forced to wear black and white every day. Just make sure the attire is appropriate for whatever setting you're in. Wearing shorts all year around is kinda weird, but a flashy (but pretty!) shirt is totally fine, and usually danes will give you a small compliment, like "That's a nice shirt, where did you get it?" (and we expect an answer)
Thank you for the advice. We definitely toned down our wardrobe a bit but have never been made uncomfortable for wearing bright colors or patterns and we always liked black, blue, grey etc
@@RobeTrotting And I understand why! A lot of Danes just wear black, white or grey, myself included, but I'm honestly not sure why. Wearing a colorful shirt shows confidence, and we do like confident people (we just don't like people who brag) :) Love your videos and love you guys!
I'd say it's becoming more normal to wear more outstanding clothes in the centre of Cph than in the provence. This is because there's so many different types of people in one place, and individuality is a huge thing in the late modern society. Individuals care less and less about others opinions.
Glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for the kind words. We love it here so we hope to bridge some cultural gaps and make things smooth for others 🇩🇰😀
Hahah, I love the way you pronounced rugbroed :D As a Non-Dane I know what you're going through when it comes to learning the language but once you will be advanced enough to have a small conversation with someone they all gonna be like "oh, you speak danish so well!" so, keep the spirit guys and "held og lykke!" :)
I totally agree with what you guys pointed out! :D .. The only thing I would like to kind of underline I guess is that yes always have lights on your bike (that means other people can see you because in wintertime it gets really dark quite early!) But don't buy those tiny lights, where the light is a single tiny LED light or whatever, because they are still really hard to see! :) .. Just trying to be helpful! :) ..
The key to small talk with strangers in Denmark is actually quite simple. The small talk simply needs to have some kind of relevance, otherwise it will come off as weird or in some cases annoying to people. What I mean by relevance is that if you for example stand in line at a coffee shop and a waiter messes up a name on a cup, then it's alright to make a comment about it to that person and maybe mention how you've experience it yourself etc, have a little laugh about it. That way the small talk still has some kind of personal relevance to the person you engage in a small talk with, and thus they instantly become slightly closer than just "a stranger". So just think to yourself: Is your approach to a small talk based in something that has context to your situation or the person you are about to talk to? If yes, then by all means proceed, no one will think anything negative about it. It's something that Danes do quite frequently themselves. If no, then just leave the small talk. And also remember that the key in small talk is "small", aka you're not supposed to keep talking excessively unless the other person is actively showing an engagement in the conversation too and display a desire to continue talking. Just keep your small talk to a single phrase or two, a quick comment and a laugh, etc. Then go on with your life as you were. Danes just don't want to feel like they're being pushed into having a conversation with you if they aren't genuinely interested in having one - because to most of us it comes off as superficial and distracting :)
How is that different from the U.S.? I'm not trying to be difficult; I really don't know of any culture anywhere where one makes small talk completely out of the blue. What you described as normal in Denmark seems to be the norm everywhere on the planet.
@@chrisalex001 I think the key difference lies in how we define "relevance" of smalltalk. In the US for example, it's much more common to just strike up a conversation with a stranger, to make a comment on the fly, etc, and in contrast in Denmark most people would rarely do that unless there was a specific incentive to "bother" that person, probably more so than in many other countries. It's a bit like comparing cultures to extrovert vs introvert behavior, and the typical Danish culture leans more towards the introverted side than many other countries. I personally wouldn't say it's to an extreme degree by any means, just slightly more than average, but to Americans who visit Denmark it may feel more extreme to them, than some other countries like France, Italy, or Asian countries etc. Also people in Denmark tend to spend more time socializing at home and don't typically hang in big groups in public (some do, just not as common as some other countries) and all of this may lead to foreigners getting the impression that people are a bit closed off. Also if you do strike up a smalltalk conversation with a Dane, they most likely would wonder why you're talking to them, instead of naturally engaging in the talk with you. They would ofc engage to be polite, but most likely would also think you're acting a bit strange for just talking to them if you don't know them/ have a common thing to talk about.
I have an American friend who always goes "how was your day?" and I'm like "I was at work, my day was the same as every other day." Why do you keep asking this. I'll let you know if something happened!
I'm an American and I haaaate when people ask me this question. Some people feel offended if you DON'T ask them... as if you don't care about THEM. I agree with your perspective.
Just watched this. The 9th rule on wearing shoes indoors is true, but it should be so everywhere in the world. The amount of disgusting stuff (e.g. E.coli from dog droppings on the pavement or human waste from the public toilet you visited, toxic chemicals from the road, lawn etc.) which you drag into your (or someone else's) home underneath your shoes is overwhelming. Doesn't matter what the weather is like. Great video as always! 🙂
In general, showing up early to a job interview is not considered rude in Denmark. It might vary from job type to job type, but in general, it shows that you can manage to be on time, even before hiring you. In certain cases it might also free up some time for the interviewer, if they have a tight schedule after your interview.
Fully agree - the difference is that in the US we think that showing up early shows we are special and extra hard working, but here it is just like "of course you are here - the interview is at 11"
@@RobeTrotting I don't know anyone in Denmark that would appreciate you being 10-15+ minutes early. 5 minutes is the golden mean, since it shows you place importance on being there on time but also because it alleviates possible anxiety of people who might be wondering if you are coming or not. I would agree with your assessment over that of PrimusGamer in this instance. Also, you are very right regarding shoes. You could be the prime minister of Denmark or even the Queen but if you waltzed into my home with your shoes on you'd be told to leave. It's considered very rude.
It's not rude to be ready at an interview 15 minutes early, but it is rude to assume your interview starts 15 minutes earlier than scheduled. If I have a job interview at 13 I am most likely working until 12:50/12:55 and then getting set up in the conference room (or wherever the interview is being held). Also, usually interviews are done back to back, so barging in 15 minutes before your time takes away time used evaluating the previous applicant.
@@sebkure "It's not rude to be ready at an interview 15 minutes early, but it is rude to assume your interview starts 15 minutes earlier than scheduled." Never said it was, and yes you are right about the second part.
Nice video. To elaborate on why you dont use a store clerk as a language tutor is because we have 2 strict rules when it comes to waiting in line, we never ever jump the line, it just dont happen, we wait our turn, and second rule is you do your business at the counter as fast as you can, because no one like to stand in line. Try to jump the line in Denmark as an experiment, and you will see everyone turn toward you and give you the evil eye if they see or hear it, and you will definitely be told off, so if you do try the experiment make sure you have a box of chocolate for the person you jumped and say it was a test so everyone can hear it :)
Ah, yes - all good points about the way that Danish queues work. We find that now (after being in Denmark for a few years) we start to get annoyed when people pay in cash and it takes 2-5 seconds longer for them to pay haha 😂
12:05 That's actually dependant on where you are. While this might be true for CPH or other large cities, it's different on the countryside. I live far out on the countryside (Near Gilleleje, which you should visit once in summertime) at a small village. Here it's custom to say hi and smile if you pass someone, regardless if you know them or not (unless if you are in a store, this only matters for the outdoors). If you do not say/answer hi, you're being rude. And people smalltalk even if they do not know eachother, usually about local subjects, or they know someone, who know someone, who knows someone you know. The thumb of rule here is that the conversation is about a local subject and nonpersonal, unless you talk for a good while, then you can start being slightly more personal. As I write this, it really hits me that we Danes have (a LOT) really wierd unwritten rules lol
Thanks for adding this. We have noticed that there is some regional difference outside of the city and in Jutland and Fyn for example where people are more conversational. The unwritten rules make things a little more interesting for sure, but it’s fun to unlock the culture 😃🇩🇰
Small talk is okay, if you have a reason behind it and the person seems interested in talking. If you are standing in line and aren't certain about something on the menu or can't figure out the sizing of the cups or whatever then it is COMPLETLY fine to ask the person nearby (unless ofcourse they are busy with something else) about it. If anything the person behind will be thankful that you wont have to block the line with your simple questions anyone could answer. After that it is okay to have minor convensation if the person is up for it but I wouldn't recommend just talking about the weather or something like that. It needs to have some sorth of meaning behind it even if it is something minor. We aren't cold but it can be rather uncomftable having someone suddenly expect your full attention for seemingly no reason but if there is a reason behind it then it becomes way easier. This isn't quite the same if you are out at a social gathering though. If you are at a bar (If they ever open again...) you randomly talking to someone might be a bit odd but it won't be frowned upon in quite the same light but I would still recommend doing it in a way that feels organic and comftable and gives the other person a chance to be a part of the convensation because it gives you something in common to talk about and wont feel awkward for people that might not be too used to small talk. If you just go "The weather is nice lately" while sitting next to a random person at the bar there wont really be much for that person to say back... They can nod or give you a "yes" but that small talk wont really be able to get anything going at all unless the weather is more shifting than a teenage girls mood because it is boring. Asking a question instead would be way more intriguing and could actually lead to something and that is what most people want. We don't want an empty "Hey, how are ya?" we want an actual question where you are interested in the answer or a statement we can use as a convensation starter.
One thing to definitely avoid doing in DK: the cheese cradle 😲 When you slice cheese and just make a deep middle with high sides... People have died for less!
I've always felt that learning a languages often comes down to 'how needed is it' - and I even heard from someone that to limit yourself away from your 'core language' so you have like 'every saturday after the clock strikes mid day and up to dinner time - everything is done in danish' had helped cuz there was an enforced requirement to do so. Yes I know, this is like with kids and having a no-TV watching period on a weekend day to get them to do something else. But it's all about some strict guidelines so you know 'this is the time for this now'. Oh and one note with that housevisit gift - find something that you feel is a good thing to bring. Because even if said person might not be a winedrinker, it's the intent behind the gift that often matters most - I saw this wine and, although I dunno if you drink such, I felt it was just the right visit-gift to give. Or yeah, chocolate is almost always a perfect option. X3
Try going to Jylland and Fyn, life and people are very different depending where you live. Here in Jylland, the only time I've felt the need to give someone a gift is for a celebration, house warming, birthday, christmas whatever, so it might be a thing in Copenhagen but idk, otherwise the people you know might just be special. Personally not a thing I've noticed. Some of these I feel are mainly for the big cities. Try going to a small city/town, I feel we're a lot more chill. But yeah don't talk to strangers... That's weird man
We have some travels planned for Jylland, of course, it won't be the same as living there for a long period of time (which we have only experienced in Copenhagen) but we will definitely pay closer attention to the differences. We hear a lot of these don't apply outside of CPH 😀🇩🇰
Well there is one scenario small talk with strangers that is allowed, in case of something going wrong of a common annoyance. Like if there is train problem. Then it is allowed to say "oh it's so typical with the trains being late/having problems". + Try going to judland, they are a bit different in their mannerism there. Like I was surprised when a bus driver was saying goodmorning... That doesn't happen in copenhagen, I Can tell you that.
Ooh - I laughed at this one - so true - Sometimes I wish we were more "latin" in our social interaction.. but yes I can totally relate to the way - especially Americans - come of as superficial and abrasive. One thing you did not mention is how loud you guys are in public places - Be the f... quiet - we dont want to hear your conversation from the other side of the restaurant;-) . Danes are on the other hand extremely direct when it comes to sex, politics and religion - not sure it is a bad thing - but definitely different. I am sure we come of as offensive and insensitive. Anyway - When I am in the US I just love how accessible Americans are - you can always strike up a conversation with a stranger - just to kill a few minutes waiting in line. I try to limit the F-word in my vocabulary when I am in the US - and I've found out that the weather is not an interesting topic in the American South West - "Yes it is warm and sunny , but it has been like that for the last three months"
My girlfriend and I were on a train in the Copenhagen area, and were just excited to be there, and were chatting just a bit loud. We were angrily shushed by an older fellow sitting near us. Yikes! We were both chastened, feeling quite bad and dialed it back to a whisper!
@@finalascent Sounds like a grumpy old fart to me. I always find there are just some elderly people who hates everyone, and are extremely rude. I definitely consider it rude to shush a stranger (unless it's an unsupervised kid- or group of kids or something being extremely loud). It could of course be you were so unlucky to have placed yourselves in the silent coupe, where no talking is allowed under any circumstance and generally neither is any other noise.
@@benjamin-sch Well, could also be, that the loud talking was seriously bothering him. My dad had severe hearing damage due to very early birth, and to him it was very difficult to hear the tv, if some1 else was speaking, or to make conversation himself, if some1 else nearby was speaking loudly, so he couldnt focus on, what he needed to hear. Its not always ppl just being jerks. Sometimes u, without knowing or wanting to be, are being the jerk. In my experience, ppl shushing some1 else usually have a good reason for it, even if u cant see it.
@@dfuher968 in my experience shushing is never a polite way to tell adult people to calm down. You could just ask them nicely, and they would properly oblige.
I'm known for being late among the people who know me, so the day before I tell them I'm probably gonna be late or on the day. I always try to make it up for them by buying them a drink afterwards.
I can sort of get behind most things except for the "gift" part, I have never brought a gift when I visit someone and never seen anyone doing it unless it´s a special occasion.
I'm a Dane living in the Netherlands and I have a similar experience about the Dutch language to the point where Dutch people will tell me not to bother with learning the language since everybody speaks English (which is vastly overestimated by the way - I regularly meet Dutch people who don't). Yet any mail you get will be in Dutch, and websites with an English option are few and far between. It's actually been a huge eye opener for me about my own culture: there's probably no obstacle greater to learning a language than being able to use English wherever you go with no annoyance from your interlocutor - even if it would be a really useful language to learn.
Me as a Dane trying to see why Danes don't like me o.o
same-
@@moskel1677 same
same
præcis
Så rigtigt xD
If you're American: STOP SHOUTING.
That applies everywhere in Europe.
Also stop squealing, screeching, guffawing, laughing uproariously or giggling.
@@missmayflower And ending every sentence like it's a question (upspeak). This drives us crazy now because we don't hear it anymore haha.
@@RobeTrotting You're wrong several times in this video. You make Denmark sound like Japan, we're really not that formal.
@@RobeTrotting If someone hosts a party (for drinking) it's strange if you show up on the dot. Especially if it's before 10pm. If it's a dinner one might assume that the food is ready right around the time you've invited them.
@@RobeTrotting We hosts parties with shoes on too. It differs. It's not hard to ask the first guests to take off their shoes and the rest will follow suit.
So, basically they do what they say, & they say what they mean. But why they don’t pronounce what they write ✍️!?
Lol - thats a good one. Our writing and pronunciation makes little sense.
Oh that's funny. And yes, quite accurate. It's a very direct and literal language, unless you're trying to pronounce it haha.
Oh, I know that one!
It's because Danish spelling was invented a couple hundred years ago and hasn't really been updated since, despite pronounciation obviously changing.
Slightly ironic, considering you wrote than in English, another language infamous for its inconsistencies with pronunciation and writing :D
But yeah, a lot of languages have this issue due to how spoken and written language usually develop separately
At least it's not french 😅
Im going to Denmark for a semester, Im from NYC born and raised so I figured it would be very different. But hearing that people don’t like talking to strangers made me tear up from joy, I have never wanted something more.
Hey Angelica, that's so exciting - where will you be studying? All of our experiences are in Copenhagen, so there are some regional differences, but no matter what we think you'll love your time in Denmark. Feel free to connect with us on IG or anywhere else if you have any questions we can help with! 😀
@@RobeTrotting That is so kind! Thank you! I should be in Copenhagen for the most part but I might jump around just to learn more about the country. Again thank you!
Just try to have a good reason to ask them. And accept if they are busy, because Danes are usually punctual and on their way to something that has their focus.
@@dortek882 True - Copenhagen is not Denmark, it just another big city, with the problems that plague all big cities: Noise, traffic problems - most of them self-inflicted, loneliness, distance, rudeness. Coupled with the problems that it is very hard for people to make queue, and keep it. People are not queuing-up for a taxi, they are fighting for them.
@@angelicaaranda6424 you might just want to stay in copenhagen haha, maybe Aarhus is worth a visit. Denmark is really centralized and our smaller cities, are Well, really small. But it of course depends on what you’re looking for
The small talk thing DOES happen in smaller towns and suburban areas. I used to live a few kilometers north of Copenhagen but moved to North Jutland, it was a huge difference in mentally of people - more laid back. I remember one of the first things that I experienced as different was that the school kids talked to the busdriver in polite and sweet manner, busdriver also stopped to empty mailboxes and even collected money for the local lotto club xD
But also, when standing in line at the store, they DO small talk here, and strangers greet each other either with a nod of the head or a simple hi and a smile. It's actually very nice and cozy that way.
I agree, I live in Jutland and came here from the UK, I have found that lots of people come and try small talk with me. It only works if they speak English thou as my Danish is still shit and that's after 10 years of trying lol. In my defence, I am hard of hearing and have tinnitus so I miss hearing certain vowels / letters
The bike bell means move, not that you're doing anything wrong.
This^
i mean true, but i’d say it’s only being used when someone is just being unaware of their surroundings or when they’re being irritating lol, also Denmark has ALOT of road rage, if you look like you’re from a different ethnic background and you don’t drive or bike exactly like old man Paul had imagined, “go home to your own country” will sadly often be thrown out the car window as he drives past
@@Vizerm I have never experienced anything similar to that at all lmao. You are talking out of your ass.
@@kasper3382 ........you’re either white as paper or just don’t live in a ghetto then lol, as much as i hate to say it in denmark racism is so common we have a fun word for it called “hygge racisme” for when we’re feeling like being racist...ya know, for fun....search it up literally anywhere and you’ll find endless cases of this scenario, you just don’t wanna admit it cuz you personally haven’t experienced it and therefor it doesn’t matter...
that's not even a word
The “rugbrød” did make my ears bleed a little 😂 but you guys are so sweet and it’s clear you have love for Danes and really make an effort. And for that I send you love in return! ❤️
thats our food
Yeah that is our food
Yes. That's our food
Rugbrød is turkish and not danish.
Bread made from rye is not exclusive to Denmark. And I’m sure the Turkish make some great bread. Never said we invented it. Rugbrød directly translated just means rye bread. And we Danes eat a lot of it. That’s all ❤️
We Danes don't say "I'm good at this", but "I like doing this". Shows the Jantelov.
Fuck janteloven, jeg er så træt af at man ikke kan bruge sine egne tjæntr penge, på noget som gør mig gladuden at folk for ondt i røven, fordi JEG har arbejdet for de penge, og de penge er MINE. Bare som exempel, og undskyld hvis at det virkede aggressivt, men jeg har haft en meget dårlig uge! Undskyld for at det lige skulle gå ud over dig! Ellers have en god dag
@@David_Frisk I lige måde. Nogle gange skal man ud med det. Fedt navn btw. Olsen Banden er sgu en konge serie.
@@abcxyz8116 No that only shows humility. As the wise chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said:
“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.”
― Lao Tzu
@@antonness9249 Moving to the US, one of the liberating things I immediately enjoyed was the lack of Jantelov 😄
@@antonness9249 That’s interesting for me as a Chinese studying in Denmark saw the Tao (Lao Tzu) philosophy in a video about Denmark. Thanks! Taoism are really different from Confucianism for my point of view, and much of the Chinese (also maybe Americans and others culture) consider “敢为天下先”(dare to ahead of others, stand out, which’s one of the central idea of Confucianism) as a good character. But I think law of Jante or Taoism for most case is good for the society in general, which promote equality, diverse pursuing value and a better life. It can’t be everyone ‘ahead of others’, someone ahead and then someone fall behind, that’s not good, people should always remember to help the behind ones. Also, if everyone stand out, then no one stand out, this still fit the law. And that’s why I love Danmark/Scandinavia culture.
There's only one reason they don't like me: I'm from Sweden
😂😂😂 We should have added this important addition
The reason Finland, Norway and Denmark are happier in the happiness index is because we are happy we are not Swedish 😁
@@RobeTrotting, you need to remember this: We're the only ones allowed to hate on Swedes!
This is a sibling relationship, and while it's mostly about football now, it was very bloody a couple of hundred years ago.
@@Raztiana Yeah, we still have their back against the rest of the world
@@moonstone6164, always
Janteloven: My late mother would tell this anecdote:
An American farmer visits his distant family in Denmark, also farmers. The Dane invites him to come out in the fields to see the land. They get in the Dane's old car, and the American says: "When I get in my car and drive out on my farm, it will be supper time before I reach the other end of my property!" "Yeah", says the Dane, "I had a car like that long ago".
Haha that is also Danish humor in a nutshell!
That sounds like a Storm P quote.
That joke is SO old ...
@@Ettibridget That explains it. My mother was old...
@@williamjones4716 Now what a surprise! A far as I know Denmark is quite a bit smaller than the US.
About foreigners trying to speak English, we really appreciate the effort by foreigners, but sometimes the Danish person may be in a hurry or maybe just not in the mood and in those cases, the Dane may ask the foreigner to use English. At any other time, we mostly welcome the effort of foreigners to practice their Danish language skills and we are usually more than willing to help out.
Yes, we really appreciate those chances too. Once we had a late lunch - about 2pm and there was hardly anyone left in the restaurant and our server was super kind and went through the whole meal in Danish. She had to repeat a few things and asked us to do the same here and there, but it was really sweet and we felt very accomplished after we left.
@@RobeTrotting The cultural traits are that we always feel responsible for the conversation being smooth, so we are expected to speak the language of most foreigners visiting or try to do so. Never take it as criticism, because it is our culture as a small, but highly progressive nation to make communication as good as possible, hence most Danes speak several languages; French, Spanish, German, and of course English. It is subconscious behaviourism to be understood, even if this is our home country. We are basically in that particular area complete opposite of the French, Italian etc. The same goes with the punctuality, where the Romance language countries, live much by the 'manana' paradigm.
It’s kinda funny we are probably more expected to speak a foreign language but it’s perfectly fine that’s our culture personally I love languages and I can’t wait to get to learn Japanese
This sounds reasonable. Seems the same here in italy
"Foreigners" "trying", hey? Well, if the Danish is at a level of reasonable communication, then asking them to simply speak English is just plain rude. Maybe a non-Dane studied Danish extremely hard before coming to Denmark. If they can communicate well enough to not waste too much of your precious time, then please let the conversation take place in Danish.
Moving to the US as exchange student in high school I was super surprised by the "how's it going" (me starting with a long answer, them continuing to walk) and the "let's hang out" (me being super excited but just discovering they weren't being genuine). It's small stuff but good to know!
Yes, we never really took a hard look at the little things Americans do and say that are confusing (or even rude). In many ways, living in Denmark has taught us just as much about America - it's like a big mirror.
the "bringing a gift" is mostly for if you are going to have dinner at their place, or you don't know each other very well. and yes up to 15m early is proper, just not earlier, and better have a good reason if you are more than5m late
Yes, we try to bring something in those situation - and arrive on time of course 😀
15 min too early is a no go! 5 min late is better than 5 min early! 😎 You ought to read Emma Gad on this 😁😁
I show up 5 minutes before, wait out of sight until the exact minute, then go and knock😆 Unless we are close friends, then I show up early to help. More than 2 minutes late? I will let my host know if possible, if not I will be very appologetic. Very danish. I studied in an international program and one of the main reasons some danes avoided working with people from certain nationalities, was that they thought it was acceptable to show up up to 45 minutes late for group work. We expect people to respect our time.
That’s just not true as a societal standard in Denmark lol. Everyone has their own preferences. For me you better come when we agreed
Arhh 15 minutes early is not good manner at all. Some members of the family is still in the shower or not having their dresses on yet. If you are this early, then stay away and walk around the area for the 15 minutes. Do not ring the bell before the agreed time being there. And if you are late, then you better warn the host before it actually happens. It is about timing the food for dinner and so on. If you know you are 10 minutes late, then you better note the host at least half an hour before. If you continue to come early or late = you will not get another invitation.
I can really confirm the Danish problem with the “fake” let’s meet again. I lived in Boston for six months in 2001, and people I would probably never meet again, at the end of the conversation would say an apparently heartfelt “Oh, it was so nice meeting you!” And then there was an awkward pause when I didn’t reciprocate. I actually practiced saying it convincingly at home, so I could rattle it off, when people said it to me. It still felt like a lot like lying, since they could have no opinion on me after five minutes and hardly no conversation, and we weren’t likely to ever meet again.
Yes, wow - this is a great example. A lot of American social behavior is "niceties" and the small talk and "how are you" question are only the beginning. It really extends into a lot of our surface interactions because we don't know how to just say nothing - so we fill all the silence with what we think people want to hear.
@@sararosen2399 Danish politeness is all about saying thank you. We sometimes end up in floods of thank you, you’re welcome, oh it was nothing etc. It is polite to always say thank you for the meal, when you’re finished eating, even at home to the person who prepared it or to each other. A lot of Danish politeness is probably more about not intruding on people, it’s considered polite to give each other space, such as not choosing a seat next to someone, if there’s a free one on the bus, not engaging in small talk with strangers.
@@sararosen2399 We do indeed, i doubt any culture exists without some sort of niceties, the most common one in Denmark is probably the "How is it going?" or "What have you been up to?" noone really wants an extended detailed answer to any of these, but it's more of a way to show the person that you are curious about their day or what they have been up to since you last saw them.
@@sararosen2399 I must have some hidden Danish connections in my DNA. 😜 I am fairly introverted by nature, and unless I am supposed to talk to someone about something important, or I want to know someone, I don't usually make a habit of small talk with much of anyone. I prefer deeper conversations anyway. In the US, introvertedness is taken as being antisocial, and extroverted behavior is prized. As an introverted person born here in the States, I have never understood this obsession with being overly social to the point of making small talk with strangers.
And speaking to the point of Americans being loud and rude, I agree with this assessment, and I think it's embarrassing. Again, it goes back to the whole "extroverted behavior is prized" thing. 🤦♀️
I don't understand what is wrong with saying nice meeting you though? Just because it has been nice meeting a person, it does not mean one has to continue to talk to them for years. The alternative would sound rude to me, like, ok bye?
For the love of god do not arrive earlier than 10 minutes ahead. 5 minutes early can be appreciated as it shows you value the other persons time, but don't push it. I'm doing this for your own good. Never late though, NEVER.
A good rule of thumb is 5 minutes early or late is absolutely fine. 10 minutes early or late I expect a text saying you're either a little late, or asking if it's okay you come a little earlier.
Yeah, being even a few minutes late is considered quite rude and disrespectful. Not just in Denmark tho, but in most of Europe, which is but 1 of the reasons, why Trump is so thoroughly despised over here, I mean, honestly the man has ZERO manners. But the first impression, u give, is being on time, showing that u value the other persons time. Since Trump is never on time, indeed always very to very very very late, it makes it clear, that he has zero respect for us or our time, and that he expects to be treated as superior, as every1 else will have to adapt to him and his behavior. All very big no-nos. And his behavior just kept getting worse from there.
So basically, if u want to make a Dane like u, look at Trump and his behavior, then behave the complete opposite.
Engang da jeg skulle have nogen over gik der også over en TIME! Jeg havde absolut ingen ide om hvad jeg skulle stille op hele den tid.
Once i had a somebody over, it also took over an HOUR! I had absolutely no idea about what i should do that entire time.
I'm always late o.O
Amanda :D; jeg blev født 10 min for sent. Det har fulgt mig lige siden 😁
You are SO right about the "How are you doing?" 🤣
I got tired of a previous american boss, asking / saying that when he passed me in the hallway, so I followed him for about 2 minutes and told him how I was doing ☺️ (This happened here in Denmark, I would never had done it in our US office 👍)
He never said it /asked me again 🤣
HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂 That must have been hilarious, we would have loved to witness that. Hopefully he was a good sport about it and understood the humor of the situation.
@@RobeTrotting haha :) I don't think he got the danish humor :)
LOVE your videoes :D
You would like my boss, then. He's introverted as anything, like I am, so it actually took him a good while to even ask me 'how are you?' And even then, neither he or I waste time with niceties. If he's comfortable with someone, he'll go ahead and flip shit with em, but it takes time with him. And because I am rather in awe of him as a person, my own introverted nature is multiplied. So when he ventured to ask 'how are you?', all I could do was just answer 'I'm fine,' even though I'm very intuitive and sensed he did want to know me better.
"how are you" is a phatic expression in English. It is a mistake to take it literally. It is a common mistake in many ESL countries, so it is best to avoid it in that context. It is good teach Americans about this, but it seems harsh to condemn them for not knowing that their audience may well make this mistake.
The American is just asking you how are you doing? Simply reply back "fine".
The point about speaking danish and not speaking danish is very true. It depends a lot on how the situation is around you. I used to work at a coffee shop where a lot of turists and foreigners would visit and I actually quite enjoyed helping some of them with their learning of pronunciation…..but just not when there’s 5 people behind them😅
😂 yes, for sure - it’s all about the time and place (and not holding up a line of people haha).
Are coffee shops in Denmark really... coffee shops? 👀
A Dane here with two small comments :) Firstly regarding our switching to English. It is often us trying to be polite, as we see a person struggling (and possibly be a bit nervous or embarrased) we want to help by switching to English. The second thing is regarding small talk - you are absolutely right, I usually just add that it doesn't apply if you have a question or need help in some way.
As a Dane and Danish teacher this was fun to watch. I also lived in the US for three years, and experienced the same cultural clashes in inverse. :)
Funny stuff, one of the rare occasions where the title isn’t total click bait. You really got a good handle on us, and as we say in Danish “med et glimt i øjet”.
Tusind tak! Obviously we are trying for clicks but glad we could deliver good content! Vi prøver at være rigtig og sjovt 😋
@@RobeTrotting You asked us to hold you accountable on your danish. "Vi" is plural so "rigtig" and "sjov" should end on an e. "Rigtige" and "sjove". Thanks for the content.
@@thorhansen5462 og måske skulle ordet “oprigtig” bruges i stedet for “rigtig”. 😜
@@Benjaminboedker Not really. The word should be correct/korrekte or true/sande.
@@thorhansen5462 Doesn't matter, everyone obviously understood what they meant
"how are you doing?" YES!! I HATE this line!! I lived in Australia for 6 months and having everyone and anyone, including cashiers ask "how are you doing" was about to drive me nuts!
- Me a Dane
Haha and they have no idea how much they are killing you on the inside! One of our best friends visited us a few years ago, walked into Espresso House and walked right up to the cashier and said "hey, how are you doing!?" and then stared at the menu for about a minute to decide what he wanted. I think the cashier wanted to either kill him or run away from him haha
Circle K also bought gas stations in Denmark and their employees were suppose to greet you with something similar. Told them at my regular place that if they did that I would turn around and leave. It is so un danish and all to american (or Canadian in this case)
Ha! Yes! We Aussies almost make a single word of the greeting-question, 'howyagoin?' or 'howarya?' Totally appropriate to respond with 'G'day' or 'Hi', or even the same greeting-question. I think it is probably a way to signal egalitarianism in the interaction, to keep things casual.
"Have a nice day" - just as bad 😤😡
@@jvkanufan8115 Yep, I actually struggle not to greet people with 'howsitgoin?' Even though I haven't lived in Australia for 12 years. But I always hated in Australia when people working in shops asked me 'How are you today?' or 'how's your day been so far?' Aaargh! None of your effing business.
Working in an international company, you give me something to think about. You are describing us Danes quite accurate. But trying to understand the challenges a foreigner go through to adapt is quite eye opening.
Great video! Thanks.
Haha, great job you two, quite fun to watch as a Dane.
"How are you?"
"Well my wife left me, dog died, cat died, lost my job, so it's pretty shitty tbh"
"Oh i'm sorry, that must be terrible"
"Nonono, i'm good, i shouldn't be complaining, my life is good compared to some other's - so how are you?"
"I'm great, thanks, i've been travelling around, business is looking good atm"
"..."
😂😂
Nice to reflect on things that were new to me when I first moved to Denmark nineteen years ago. I had to work on getting used to the Danish directness and way of expressing their humor at first. Still, there are some differences between Copenhagen and the rural areas of Denmark. For instance, you are quite welcome to initiate a Smalltalk in the queue and talk about the weather anytime you like.
Hej Edite, you’re quite right. We definitely feel like people are more engaging outside of Sjælland and a bit more curious to chat with these random foreigners haha
Thank you for watching and sharing a bit about your experiences 😃🇩🇰
Yeah, I totally feel the "How are you doing?" one ... Once I was in Canada, and I wet into a shop just to look around. The cashier was like "Hey, how are you doing?" and mem being a socially awkward Dane, mumbled "fine" and fled the store, never to return ..
Haha - we love stories about Danes in the wild 😋 Glad you enjoyed!
I agree! the weirdest experience i had was when i was walking to the bus. I saw two people walt towards each other start the greeting, then half way through they past each other and just ended up the greeting while not even looking at each other. I just stopped and could not believe it :o
“How are you doing?” Like damn, I am not in the mood for self-reflecting right now.
Look up the story about when Walmart tried to corner the German market back in the early 90s. Bought a German supermarket chain and went all in on Americanism, from constantly clashing with authorities for repeated violations of labor laws to chasing away customers with greeters in ur face, the moment they walked in the store. Being Danish I didnt get the experience myself, but I talked to a couple of Germans, who did, and I checked it out online.
Basically Walmart thought, they could just do the exact same concept in Germany, they used in the US. They did zero research of laws, culture, societal norms, anything at all, and they were apparently incapable of learning from early setbacks. And thats why theres no Walmarts in Germany.
@@dfuher968 Wauw that is incredibly bad business :O
I am a Dane and I always wear colorful clothes. Its okay to stand out!
Me too
Totally agree. You can wear whatever you want to the office. Shorts all year. Everyday hawaii shirt. Statement t-shirts. Flashy colors... Anything goes in most offices.
@@Youberc well, it is up to each individual 😄
@@Youberc of course. We can all like what ever and who ever we want. Some like it colorful some don't. Nobody's in the wrong. It's just preferences.
Just my opinion as 1/2 dane 1/2 faroese 😉
if everybody stand out, nobody does
Det er altid sjovt at høre fra andre hvordan de opfatter os. I har ramt godt på hvad vi danskere er
My great grandmother is from Copenhagen. As a 4th generation American, I’m proud of my Danish heritage. I love & admire my Danish grandparents. We still enjoy our Danish traditions: Hard Work, Value of higher Eduction, Red mush. Fish Cakes, Open Sandwiches. Danish Pastry. Biking & hiking ❤️ HYGGE
We visited Copenhagen & all the women looked like my cousins! Thank you for the fun informative post!
This was great to come across as I lived in Denmark for two years in my late teens!
I did manage to attain near-fluency in what many regard as a difficult language and I was surprised at how much I could recall. I’ve lived in Australia now for over 50 years but my memories of Denmark are with me to this day.
Thanks for making an old man happy! ❤️
Thank you for watching and for sharing your experiences! So glad you found us and hope you’ll like our channel - maybe it will jog more memories 😊🇩🇰
@@RobeTrotting Thanks guys - you've got a new fan!
“Danes are planners” - det er meget præcist udtrykt. 👍
And we didn't realize weeks had numbers until we moved here haha.
@@RobeTrotting yeah we use that a lot, but we still have to check the calendar to figure out what dates week 18 refers to 🤣😂🤣😂
@@RobeTrotting Is this a good time to tell you they also have numbers in the US, just not as much in common use, but most years they're not the same numbers. So week 4 in Denmark can be week 3 in the US, not to mention the whole thing about when the week starts...
@@RobeTrotting ;-D
Lol enig
Wow, I must say that you guys are completely on point with these things! I’ve always felt like Americans can be quite overwhelming (due to all the cultural differences you’ve just mentioned), but you guys have really mastered how to be likeable to Danes! My first thought was ‘wow, these Americans seem so nice and down to earth’ 😂
Thanks Louise 😀 that's so sweet! You're right though, Americans can be "extra" haha. Since we're not around them so much we kind of forget this until we visit family in the States (and sometimes we ease back into our old habits haha).
😂😂😂
As a 1st generation American of Danish parents, this explains so much about my personality and my difficulty in the US!
It's in the blood for sure
I’m a Dane and if you didn’t like this video , you’re already in bad standing♥️✌️
You guys sound boring as fuck.
I have met several expats and have seen some vids on expats in Denmark. You are the first who completely nailed it. Everyone moving to Denmark should watch this.
About the small talk. I think it depends on where you live. It's more common to do in small towns/villages. You also say hi, or acknowledge their presence in any way,to most people you pass, even though you have no idea who they are. Mostly applies when on foot.
Fully agree with that. And I think that difference between cities and small towns is universal. And part of that in small towns is because you probably already met the person before and don't want to make it look like you forgot 😋
@@RobeTrotting more like. "I better say hi, to avoid the awkward silence between me and this stranger I accidentally had eye contact with" lol 😅
Not only on foot. Motorcyclist always greet each other when they meet on the road, and conversations springs up immediately at stops. Yachtsmen also greet each other - if we feel anything in common, we greet. I'm not a young man anymore, and I think the ignorance of others are more widespread among young people.
You shouldn’t worry too much, I think you’re doing just fine and have a good understanding of Danes.
I was waiting for the outside shoes part. Thank you! Nothing more rude than people not taking their shoes off when they visit you. And nothing worse than having to tell people to take their shoes off in your house if they don't do it themselves.
Yes, that's an awkward conversation for sure haha. Shoes-off is a good social rule to have.
Theres 1 thing more awkward tho. Outside shoes have always been banned indoors in my family, and it feels incredibly rude, when ppl are invited to ur home, and they just come stomping in across the floors in their outside shoes, and u have to ask them to take them off. Theyre usually quite apologetic, but the damage is done, the mood is broken.
Much worse tho is asking ppl not to smoke in ur home, tho that really shouldnt have to be said, that u dont just fire up a smoke without asking permission first. After all, it might be a personal habit, but its a habit, thats at best annoying to non-smokers, at worst affecting their health. Like for some1 like me with my allergies, even passing some1 smoking on the street outside and inadvertently getting a whiff of their smoke gives a very uncomfortable rip in my throat, indoor smoking is completely out of the question.
Yet I cannot count the many potential friendships, Ive lost over the years, coz ppl couldnt accept, that their personal freedom to smoke didnt supercede my personal freedom to breathe. That it should be them being considerate, since its their habit, thats affecting others, rather than others making allowances for them. Imo, and ofc Im biased with my history, u can do, whatever u want, as long as its not affecting others. Once ur actions are affecting others, the onous is on u to make sure not to be a nuisance, not the other way around.
Thankfully, the attitudes have been changing over the last couple of decades, and ppl now usually ask b4 lighting up, but there are still ppl, who simply do not get, how badly their personal habit can affect others, and think, that Im the rude 1 for denying them the right to pollute my home and my lungs. Then again, thats a quite easy first sorting mechanism for ppl worth ur time and friendship.
Many janitors in housing estates wears easy to remove shoes for the same reason. Only if you are the police or the meter reader from the heating company etc, are you socially allowed to keep your outdoor shoes on inside.
@@RobeTrotting I saw this sign outside the living-quarters of a drilling-rig: NO boots, NO excuses, NO exceptions. Just NO BOOTS. I saw the same in a big cattle-farm, where a bath and change of clothes were (was?) mandatory before entering the house.
Now I understand why the Danish guy I met in Wacken Open Air festival didn't add me on Facebook or respond to my Instagram message. Its because we only had a long conversation just once. We're still strangers!
Fair enough, but I miss that guy. He was such a sweet guy. I forgive him for not letting me in and I'm thankful for the short time we had together, and his sweet Danish style kiss! 😅 ❤️💕
Thank you so much both of you, for giving me the closure i thought i would never get! You guys are the best! 💯
Hmm I like truth.. I feel your vibe
We basically don't care about your success (status), we care about who you are as a person 🤗So a person who talks a lot about himself, shows where his focus is and it reflects poorly on him... We actually don't mind you having success, just don't talk about it in a way that is self-promoting. 😇
- This was fun and interesting! 🙂
Thank you. Those are my exact thoughts about that specific topic.
The thing with “how you’re doing” is also that ; it seems like in America it’s just a way to say hi. You don’t really care what the response is. If something asks you how you are doing in Denmark. It’s the start of a long meaningful conversation
Yes, that's a good way to explain the difference. In America it's really just a greeting, but it's a deep question in Denmark and can cause some confusion if it's not used correctly.
@@RobeTrotting Exactly, and not just with this expression. If u ask a question, u dont really want the answer to, we're like "wtf are u asking for then?". Dont waste our time with questions, u dont want the answer to, and which often are felt as quite intrusive, if u dont know the person, ur asking, pretty well. It just comes off as both very nosey and pointless.
And if u think, its bad in Copenhagen, u should come to Jutland, we make the Zeelanders despair, since we often find THEM to also be rude and abrasive and intrusive 😈
@@dfuher968 yeah true. There’s an huge difference between Copenhageners and the rest of Denmark. If you find it hard not to irritate Danes in Copenhagen. Jutland would be hell hahah
As they said in the video? No need to say the same again back to them
@@spexis To be honest, i made my comment before I watched it to the end..
My bad!
This is a pet peeve of mine mostly reserved for people who vacation in Denmark...
A lot of people who visit us tend to ONLY visit København and the immediate area, and then act like they have truely "been to Denmark"! A very common joke to people outside København is that it's a completely different world to the rest of the country.
To us, only visiting København and say that you know how our country works, is like us visiting only New York, and then act like we know how America works...
If you want to REALLY make a dane like you, take some trips around the country, to see how people live outside København; make an effort to understand that København is a very tiny piece of the danish puzzle, and that just because our capitol is what it is, it's not a representation of the entire country, which mostly consists of smaller towns and farms, with most of the towns housing less than 2000 people... If you talk to a dane, and they can feel that you know this from experience, it goes a long way with us
Det er så sandt! København er ikke ordentlig dansk ift. resten af landet.
There certainly is a difference between Copenhagen and the rest of Denmark. Copenhagen is Denmark, but Denmark is more than Copenhagen
@@jonasmariboe3450 I have just watched SOOO many videos with titles along the lines of "My trip to Denmark" or something like that, and then all they see and talk about in that time is København...
Just call it what it is: "My trip to København"!
Denmark is much the same everywhere. The culture of which they talk about is essentially the same, even if you live where the crows have turned. The laws of Jante may be more prevalent in Jutland, and the outskirts of Denmark, but it is more about city folk versus small communities, that exists everywhere. When it comes the culture itself, most Danes follow the same cultural traits.
@@skynet0912 There must be a reason why so many Jutlanders move to Copenhagen, instead of just staying.
Jeg er dansker og jeg ville ønske, at andre danskere ville være bedre til at tale med fremmede, som de ikke allerede kender. Så ville der være færre ensomme mennesker.
👍
Da vi flyttede til vores landsby, startede jeg med at hilse på gaden. Nu mere end ti år senere, genkender folk mig og hilser tilbage ... :-)
This^
I think it goes for other things as well, where Danes want to do certain things but just don't. The reason often being because it just isn't "normal".
Basically everyone hates janteloven but lives it out anyway.
Enig, jeg kender ikke en sjæl i den by jeg bor i, og jeg har boet her i fire år nu..
@@ForgottenT lol
I live in Denmark since 2014, have not learned the language, have had no problems with these sweet beautiful beings, they keep me in their country like a mother holds her children tight, I do not have friends at all, but they are all my family, every time I need help they don't hesitate to help as if I'm one of them. I come here for work, and then later I realized that life is so easy and carefree that I could also start spiritual inner journey of self realization and am now living a spiritual life in Denmark and would not have it any other way, I have become even more modest than I come here, and now this country looks even more like a Sanctuary.
Super late to the party, I know. But I find the "Bringing a gift" one super interesting. Because my first instinct was, "No, that ain't right?" But I quickly realized it sort of is. It's less about the gift itself and more about being a good guest. So we definitely show our appreciation for being invited, if not with a gift, then offering to help clear the table or do the dishes. Or we'll ask if we should bring something when invited into someone's home or even arrive earlier to help set up.
Looking at your own culture through someone else's eyes is always good fun. Thank you for the delightful insight.
Hello Derek and Mike,
The bringing of gifts when visiting for the first time or to a dinner party really depends on where, how and in what class in society you live.
For example take me, I live in Jutland in a bottom middle class family. We don't bring gifts when visiting someone for the first time. Though, depending on the situation, we do bring the host a gift.
The part about reaching out afterwards is a big yes, in my book!
If you say "let's meet up again" it really is expected of you to at least reach out and try and figure something out again.
Of course we also know, that sometimes it might be difficult to plan something, so we are glad that you at least tried to follow through with it.
And yeah, we definitely are planners, but we still have to look through a calendar to see what dates a certain week is lol
Also, a good tip if you don't feel like meeting up with them again, and they say "hey, we should meet up again sometime!" you can almost always respond with "We'll see", "If I have time" or the likes of that.
Usually, you have a leeway of +- 15 minutes. But it really depends on the person.
When it comes to things like job interviews and business meetings, showing up around 5 minutes early is really good. Never, and I mean it, NEVER show up late to anything business related, whether it's a job interview or something else.
The biking rules are there for your safety, and there is actually a lot of Danes that don't follow them. I personally find it annoying.
The rules in Denmark with ringing is, that you are basically only allowed to ring it, if something dangerous might happen. The same applies with honking a car horn.
And one thing we Danes are good at, is being mad at each other for not following the rules, and getting annoyed at others for getting angry at you because you were not following the rules haha.
Yes! Don't talk to us, if you don't know us.
Though, it is important to keep in mind, that sometimes the situation just makes sense for you to talk. Like if you accidentally step to close to someone in the supermarket.
Or if you make a funny mistake or the like, you might sometimes be able to small talk. It is very difficult to know when and where, but whenever you figure it out, it can get you to meet some amazing people!
In pools and gyms, we make those rules for shoes because of the floors. In gyms, a lot of the time, the floor is not made to handle dirt and the like.
By pools and the indoor swimming pools, it is mostly because you have to be clean to enter the water. If you walk with dirty shows all over the changing room, the pool will get dirty.
Generally, most of what you have said is generally true, but like with everything else, there are always exceptions hahaha.
They all really depend on where in the country you are and who it is.
I'm glad that you are doing well here in Denmark and that you are interested in our culture and sharing it and your experiences to the world.
I hope my little comment here can explain some things and help you along the way.
Regards
Simon.
And by the way, if anybody is wondering. This text is 579 words long and has 3040 characters (including spaces)
Simon, thank you SO much for your kind words and thoughtful reply. We really appreciate the advice and clarification and your time.
It definitely seems like some of these things are regional and you definitely helped fill in a few knowledge gaps. I know we find it helpful and so will others who read it preparing to move to Denmark.
Your comments about "being mad at each other for not following the rules, and getting annoyed at others for getting angry at you because you were not following the rules" is SO funny. We have definitely noticed this one in so many big and small examples over the years of living here haha.
Thanks again for watching and replying 😀🇩🇰
As a Dane, I am gonna admit this made me a burst of a laugh. Nevertheless, I have some small things to add to those things you talked about.
- When you making a plan and let's say 12 o'clock it is okay to come a little later as long you write or call beforehand and explain a "good reason" why you are late. I know from myself that I am way more okay with people coming later, if you can explain why you are late :)
- We are quite private when it comes to small talk or conversation out in the town, but are so the opposite when we have a drink. We have a tense to be way more open when drinking together. I say this because I meet an American in my city some years ago in an official transport and was shocked when she sat next to me suddenly just talked about her life, like we knew each other 😅
- About the "how are you doing?" you can actually make a conversation if you make an icebreaker by asking something you both have in common interest/hobby. You both missed the bus? Talk about it, or the guy next to you has a t-shirt with a band you know? Ask about it. I know it will work since I have made some good friend out of it :)
Trying goes a really long way, absolutely. Thank you 🙏 good observations
Thank you so much! And agree the effort is key!
You guys are awesome! I love watching your videos. I'm a Dane that just moved back home to Copenhagen after many years abroad, and even I need a little reminder of how to Dane now
In the intro at 0:56 I recognised we’re you guys were and I was like wait that’s kerteminde! I’ve been there and the bridge you guys are standing on I have jumped off into the water. That’s such a funny coincidence
As a Dane I think you’ve done amazing observations about the culture.
Thank you for the «rugbrød» part. I had to replay it a couple of times - it really had me giggle! Keep up the good work :-)
tusind tak! we are glad our horrible Danish pronunciation brings joy 😋
Robe Trotting Actually, it’s not terrible. Our extra letters (æ, ø, å) are just really difficult to pronounce. I think you’re doing a fantastic job!
I have to say that smalltalk with people you don't know, in for instance a que - is quite normal. Just not something above two or three sentences, like "it's raining like mad today huh?" when you see the other person wringing their scarf, they will most likely smile and nod saying "yeah it was nice this morning, so i didn't wear a rainjacket", and you'd say something like "The weatherman says it will be better tomorrow", or you'd say "It's going to be like this all week" - the other person will acknowledge this . and the conversation is done, more than that we'd move into awkward land. But short and un-committing smalltalk is absolutely socially acceptable. What is NOT acceptable is commenting on what other people (you don't know) is buying, and it doesn't matter if you are the one selling it, or you're standing next in line.
+1 her fra.
Men for djævlen da, hvor var det dog ski'e koldt imorges...?!.... 😜👍
10:33
There's a (somewhat) common expression in Denmark "Tid er et punkt, ikke et område", which is a word on play, and directly translates "Time is a point (as in point of time where the word on play comes in), not an area", which basically means be at where you need to be, at the dot.
Actually, Time is a place in Norway.😄
It's commercial center is Bryne.
Erling Braut Haaland grew up there....
Love from Oslo 🇧🇻
Haha good job, It's somehow flattering hearing foreigners analyse your etiquette and norms :D
Thanks! 😃 I’m glad you liked this one and thanks for watching
6:39 lol that heart chocolate is from the factory I work at. Funny seeing it in one of these videos 😄
You guys are brilliant. You've got us figured!
I've never come across a host being hurt or maybe even notice you didn't bring anything!
But the 1st time you're invited to someone's home, a bunch of flower, a jar of homemade jam, or just something to show your appreciation. And homemade things are not frowned upon! On the contrary. But for Pete's sake, don't ever give anything you'll expect the to be on "display" - you might ruin the entire entirior design :-))
Yes, exactly, flowers (from ur garden is fine) or a homemade jam or something like that. A small, non-expensive token of appreciation for being invited to some1s home for the first time. But never ever go too far and bring something expensive, that would be considered bragging.
Whats important is, that to most Danes our home is our private sphere, and we dont invite just any1 in. Hence a small token to show, that u recognize the privilege, ur given, is appropriate.
Coming from The Netherlands i love Danes. Danish people and Dutch people are a bit alike. We have a bit the same phrases like "act normal, then you do already strange enough" and "us knows us"
I'm a born & raised American, from Philadelphia. After watching this video I realized, that except for the stuff about biking and not wearing outside shoes indoors, I probably come off more as Danish in my personality, than American. Lol. And, I do actually have some Danish blood, as some of my ancestors were Danish.
I’m from Denmark and what you are saying in every video about Danes is so true.
Very insightful and respectful video with great emphasis on the well understood cultural nuances. Good job!
BTW: most of the issues you raise are very similar in Switzerland as well. So if you ever visit there, you'll fit right in.
This was very interesting to me. I’m from Virginia and I love giving compliments to strangers, asking someone if they need help if they look lost or confused, or letting someone ahead of me in line if they just have a few items and my cart is full. It’s nice to see them smile, be relieved that someone will help them find their way or the item they are looking for, or to thank me for making their errand a little bit quicker. It makes me feel better when I brighten someone’s day. I’ve had people tell me I made their day because they had been feeling down, or were worried about being late somewhere. It never occurred to me that this would bother some people.
My great grandparents (on my father’s side) immigrated to the United States from Denmark separately as young adults, met in New York City and married.
I didn’t know my father was half Danish until my older brother had to do a genealogy project for school. He had to bring a native dish from his family heritage to school. My parents didn’t know what to do. My mom’s grandparents (descendants not 1st generation): English grandmother & Northern Irish grandfather, Swedish grandmother & Scottish grandfather. So no language spoken except English, no family recipes from either side. My dad’s grandparents: English grandmother and German grandfather (descendants), 1st generation Danish grandmother and 1st generation Danish grandfather. So my mom thought my brother should bring something Danish to school. Except my father said he didn’t have any family traditions or recipes either.
I was fascinated that my grandfather (who died before I was born) was not mixed heritage. I was interested in learning about Waldemar and Margaret (his parents) and asked what Danish traditions my dad learned from them or his dad, and if there was any neat recipes from Denmark. But my father said his grandparents rarely spoke Danish. His father and aunts only knew how to say, “I love you” in Danish. Apparently my grandfather told my dad (& siblings) that when he asked about Danish stuff as a child, he was told by his parents that they were American now. I was disappointed. I had friends that were Hispanic, Asian, Italian etc. descendants and they had family dishes and traditions they did around holidays.
My mother ended up taking my brother to the library. She found a recipe for Vaniljekranse, learned how to make it, and had him write about Christmas traditions that sounded similar to what we normally did. I had my dad teach me how to say, “I love you” in Danish. I checked the pronunciation on the internet, and I think I say it okay, but who knows. I also took a copy of the recipe for Vaniljekranse my mom found with me when I married my husband. I make the cookies every Christmas and say, “I love you” in Danish and English to my kids every night. But that’s the only “heritage” I have, besides knowing what tartan my Scottish ancestors wore. My husband is of German descent and his dad taught me how to make sauerbraten and german potato pancakes. So if my children ever have to write about their family history, at least I will have something to tell them.
Thanks Gwen for your thoughts. As a born Dane, I can tell you that I was surprised by the friendliness of most Americans. At first, I thought it was strange and was defensive like many here. But having now lived in the USA for 30+ years, I feel more American than Danish and enjoy smiling and talking with strangers. It feels nice. Do some not mean it, yes. Do many mean it, yes. Now I find the Danish attitude cold and off putting. We were trained to think that anyone happy and friendly was fake which is a very dark view of our fellow humans. Instead a cold shoulder and never talking to any stranger is looked at as being "real". Body odor is also very real and natural, but do we not shower each day to be respective and make a better environment for each other? and do we not feel better about it ourselves also? yes and yes. Interestingly, when i lived in Boston, I saw them being more similar to Danes compared to California, with being distant and not smiling. Maybe it's the weather? I have never been to Montana Wyoming or the other northern states. But I would be curious to see if they are friendly, smiling with small talk or not. I hope the Danes can move their culture towards a more warm feeling. When you smile, even if you are upset inside, your day can be a little better, than if you bathe in your bad mood.
I wouldn't worry about doing any of those things. Letting someone ahead in line is very common and asking if someone needs help would only be appreciated (though probably turned down). People would definitely find it weird if you gave compliments to them, but I don't think anyone would be offended or find it annoying. It would be something they'd talk about at home.
What we're not fans off is strangers striking up a conversation with us. Like, say you're reading a book on the bus and the person next to you asks you what you're reading. That type of thing.
12:15 that’s not always true though. It depends a little on the circumstances.
If in a train on the way home from work, most people will probably not wanna have to talk to anyone, the same on the way to work if it’s early.
If it’s vacation time, weekend or something like that I think most people don’t mind at all if you start a conversation. But don’t expect us to start it. :P
As a Tourist you could find someone looking like they are waiting or relaxing in the city. You can ask for directions of if they know a good place to eat or something, most likely the conversation can develop from there especially if you come in on interest observations on Danes or Denmark. :P
You're definitely right - it's all situational. We could have explained it a little bit better. It's funny you mention being on holiday, we were in Greece a couple of years ago and some Danish women from another dinner table overheard us talking about living in Denmark, so they approached us and started a conversation. It was so funny because we thought, "wow, that's not something that would likely have happened in Denmark," but when you find a connection on holiday it's much more laid back (a few island drinks help too haha) 😀🇩🇰
@@RobeTrotting Probably would have approached as well, unless you looked like you preferred to be left alone.
@@mwtrolle People are always much more open to a chat on holiday no matter where they come from! :)
Some notes on biking in Denmark.
In addition to being flat, we also have great climate for biking. Winters are no too cold, and summers not too hot. If biking is to work as an actual means of transportation you need to be able to use it all year. If 2 month of the year cyclist have to use other means of transportation, assuming a lot of people normally use their bike, all other means of transportation will likely be overloaded.
As for not liking you for not know how to bike, I think all we ask is that you treat biking like traffic. If you are not treating it like other traffic, you are putting people at risk and/or wasting their time.
Great point, the entire country is so great for biking due to climate, geography and most importantly government investment in the biking infrastructure.
Fun and perceptive video! A few of the things are not true for all Danes, but is class or background related. The gift-thing - I was not brought up to do it, but my wife taught me - my background being more working-class…
rules
1) Janteloven, yes you can brag about your succes AFTER you have become friends. that is NOT how you start a friendship. No one in Denmark likes a show-off. But we do like to hear about our friends succes, so please tell later. You just dont start with that first as the one.
2) If your invitet at 18:00: If you show you up at 17:45 ok but then you help with dinner: 18:00 your right on time 18:15 no later please, dinner is ready, and if the dinner that I have made is cold, It makes me sad.
3) Yes its very polite to say thanks for the evning when you go, or send a sms after. That goes a really long way.
About the language part, as a permanent resident - making effort to learn the language is appreciated, .. but we also realize Danish isn't easy, so mix matching language depending on situation is fine too, the important part is the effort, and the "over time" commitment to improvements, not so much an in the moment kinda thing, does that makes sense?
That absolutely makes sense, and now that we're going to stay and have bought a flat we are committed. We want to at least be to the point where we can follow a conversation in Danish and even if we have to reply in English (also to spare Danes from our bad accents) that will be okay. It can be a bit deflating for us to force people to change their language of conversation when we come around or to have to explain what they've been talking about (in Danish) because we didn't follow and they can tell from our faces. We really want to improve 😀
Yeah, we are SO weird about the language. If your Danish isn’t good, we insist on speaking english, but don’t tell a dane you’ve lived here more than 2-3 years, if you can’t have a conversation in danish. We definitely need to get better at allowing foreigners to practise.
I can hear that you have practised your "skål!" more than your "Hvordan går det?" XD
hej I've been watching your videos lately, and I gotta say I really like them, I love watching different cultures reacting to the danish one, and how spot on it is, to say "ha we so,so that" and even though our ears do bleed when you say rugebrød we'll let it slide, because it's fun to hear too, I look forward to see more of your stuff, andjust a little idea, I think it could be really fun to see you react/look at danish slang/wordplay ps sorry for an esay of a comment^^
Tusind tak! So glad you enjoyed the video and thank you for the comment! We love the idea of more reaction videos to Danish things (except lakrids - we will never like lakrids haha). And Danish wordplay is definitely something we want to share as we finish learning Danish - like how "tak for kaffe" doesn't mean what you think it does!
I loved this. Thank you, guys. Very interesting insight into Danish culture. Much of what you shared reminds me of England when I grew up. The Danes sound like sensible and disciplined people. I am subscribing to your channel to learn more. Again I thank you.
you really nailed this - so true all of it. Especially the one with the bike path. You will know the rules very quick
These are the real laws of Copenhagen, I have almost lived my whole life in Copenhagen, and I am pure Danish. These laws fit perfectly to my expression of Copenhagen. I have experienced all the 9 tips of the video.
So glad that we touched on the right points. We've heard they're especially true in Copenhagen and less important in Jylland, but some of them are probably universally annoying to most people haha.
@@RobeTrotting I'd say most of it is true in Jylland aswell, many of us actually find the Københavnere very... Ubehøvlet, loud and overly dramatic.
Bikes rules might not be so applicable, but everything else is.
As for small talk, I gueeeesss it happens whenever someone does something embarrassing like dropping an entire tray of something in the grocery store.
My standard answer to "Hvordan går det?" is:
"Simply terrific! I have postponed the suicide till next week! Procrastination has its merits - if not instituted immediately....."
😂🙈😬 Wow, that would definitely get someone to change their habits (at least I should hope so haha).
Præcis! For det udstiller hvor overfladisk det spørgsmål er. Man spørger om det hvis man vil vide svaret eller fornemmer at noget er galt - ellers nøjes man med 'hej'! ;)
Love that, that’s so funny 😂😂
actually always start it with fine, and then move onto sharing inappropriate info about how my life is going.
My dad used to work in the airport.
He said his go to was "Trying to keep myself sober."
The reactions were either uncomftable glances and apolegies or they simply didn't even pick up on his answer and just nodded and walked past him.
It's so funny how much of this explains many of my own personal quirks with which I class with my American friends. I was born in Denmark but moved to the states when I was five -- and very much feel like I'm *American* now -- but watching this, it's so clear my Danish mother raised me to be more of a Dane than I'd realized.
Only thing she didn't instill is being On Time.
Oops. *sigh*
Just found your channel! I studied abroad in Denmark in college (lived in Fredensborg). My fiancé did as well and we’re going back in August for our honeymoon!
thanks for this, pretty accurate! you forgot the sunglasses thing though, don't have a conversation with someone with shades on, it makes you look insincere if we can't see your eyes
Hey guys ! This was pretty spot on! Hope you are enjoying life here! And dont worry to much about learning danish! I think we are all aware that its a tricky language to learn :)
Tusind tak! We absolutely love life here - and are slowly learning. Thank you for the support!
You can dress however you like in Denmark, don't feel forced to wear black and white every day. Just make sure the attire is appropriate for whatever setting you're in. Wearing shorts all year around is kinda weird, but a flashy (but pretty!) shirt is totally fine, and usually danes will give you a small compliment, like "That's a nice shirt, where did you get it?" (and we expect an answer)
Thank you for the advice. We definitely toned down our wardrobe a bit but have never been made uncomfortable for wearing bright colors or patterns and we always liked black, blue, grey etc
I have a friend who I have seen many times in shorts in the winter. (yes he is danish)
@@RobeTrotting And I understand why! A lot of Danes just wear black, white or grey, myself included, but I'm honestly not sure why. Wearing a colorful shirt shows confidence, and we do like confident people (we just don't like people who brag) :) Love your videos and love you guys!
I'd say it's becoming more normal to wear more outstanding clothes in the centre of Cph than in the provence. This is because there's so many different types of people in one place, and individuality is a huge thing in the late modern society. Individuals care less and less about others opinions.
this is a very good introduction for both cultures. I learned alot as a dane about danes too. nice to have you in denmark. :-)
Glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for the kind words. We love it here so we hope to bridge some cultural gaps and make things smooth for others 🇩🇰😀
thank you so much guys, I'd love to move to Denmark in the next year or so, so your videos have been really helpful!
Hahah, I love the way you pronounced rugbroed :D As a Non-Dane I know what you're going through when it comes to learning the language but once you will be advanced enough to have a small conversation with someone they all gonna be like "oh, you speak danish so well!" so, keep the spirit guys and "held og lykke!" :)
I totally agree with what you guys pointed out! :D .. The only thing I would like to kind of underline I guess is that yes always have lights on your bike (that means other people can see you because in wintertime it gets really dark quite early!) But don't buy those tiny lights, where the light is a single tiny LED light or whatever, because they are still really hard to see! :) .. Just trying to be helpful! :) ..
Great advice! Especially for new arrivals that haven’t experienced the early and dark evenings in Denmark 🇩🇰👍😃
The key to small talk with strangers in Denmark is actually quite simple. The small talk simply needs to have some kind of relevance, otherwise it will come off as weird or in some cases annoying to people. What I mean by relevance is that if you for example stand in line at a coffee shop and a waiter messes up a name on a cup, then it's alright to make a comment about it to that person and maybe mention how you've experience it yourself etc, have a little laugh about it. That way the small talk still has some kind of personal relevance to the person you engage in a small talk with, and thus they instantly become slightly closer than just "a stranger".
So just think to yourself: Is your approach to a small talk based in something that has context to your situation or the person you are about to talk to? If yes, then by all means proceed, no one will think anything negative about it. It's something that Danes do quite frequently themselves. If no, then just leave the small talk. And also remember that the key in small talk is "small", aka you're not supposed to keep talking excessively unless the other person is actively showing an engagement in the conversation too and display a desire to continue talking. Just keep your small talk to a single phrase or two, a quick comment and a laugh, etc. Then go on with your life as you were. Danes just don't want to feel like they're being pushed into having a conversation with you if they aren't genuinely interested in having one - because to most of us it comes off as superficial and distracting :)
How is that different from the U.S.? I'm not trying to be difficult; I really don't know of any culture anywhere where one makes small talk completely out of the blue. What you described as normal in Denmark seems to be the norm everywhere on the planet.
@@chrisalex001 I think the key difference lies in how we define "relevance" of smalltalk. In the US for example, it's much more common to just strike up a conversation with a stranger, to make a comment on the fly, etc, and in contrast in Denmark most people would rarely do that unless there was a specific incentive to "bother" that person, probably more so than in many other countries.
It's a bit like comparing cultures to extrovert vs introvert behavior, and the typical Danish culture leans more towards the introverted side than many other countries. I personally wouldn't say it's to an extreme degree by any means, just slightly more than average, but to Americans who visit Denmark it may feel more extreme to them, than some other countries like France, Italy, or Asian countries etc.
Also people in Denmark tend to spend more time socializing at home and don't typically hang in big groups in public (some do, just not as common as some other countries) and all of this may lead to foreigners getting the impression that people are a bit closed off.
Also if you do strike up a smalltalk conversation with a Dane, they most likely would wonder why you're talking to them, instead of naturally engaging in the talk with you. They would ofc engage to be polite, but most likely would also think you're acting a bit strange for just talking to them if you don't know them/ have a common thing to talk about.
I have an American friend who always goes "how was your day?" and I'm like "I was at work, my day was the same as every other day." Why do you keep asking this. I'll let you know if something happened!
Haha yes that’s another one we overuse expecting a different response 😂
do you have problems with the sea ?
I'm an American and I haaaate when people ask me this question. Some people feel offended if you DON'T ask them... as if you don't care about THEM. I agree with your perspective.
You could just answer, boring af and go from there...
Thanks guys,i really enjoyed your video, now i know where i went wrong at my job interview with Danes last week🙂
So much fun to listen to the two of you - good at nailing things here in DK.
Just watched this. The 9th rule on wearing shoes indoors is true, but it should be so everywhere in the world. The amount of disgusting stuff (e.g. E.coli from dog droppings on the pavement or human waste from the public toilet you visited, toxic chemicals from the road, lawn etc.) which you drag into your (or someone else's) home underneath your shoes is overwhelming. Doesn't matter what the weather is like. Great video as always! 🙂
In general, showing up early to a job interview is not considered rude in Denmark. It might vary from job type to job type, but in general, it shows that you can manage to be on time, even before hiring you. In certain cases it might also free up some time for the interviewer, if they have a tight schedule after your interview.
Fully agree - the difference is that in the US we think that showing up early shows we are special and extra hard working, but here it is just like "of course you are here - the interview is at 11"
@@RobeTrotting I don't know anyone in Denmark that would appreciate you being 10-15+ minutes early. 5 minutes is the golden mean, since it shows you place importance on being there on time but also because it alleviates possible anxiety of people who might be wondering if you are coming or not. I would agree with your assessment over that of PrimusGamer in this instance.
Also, you are very right regarding shoes. You could be the prime minister of Denmark or even the Queen but if you waltzed into my home with your shoes on you'd be told to leave.
It's considered very rude.
It's not rude to be ready at an interview 15 minutes early, but it is rude to assume your interview starts 15 minutes earlier than scheduled. If I have a job interview at 13 I am most likely working until 12:50/12:55 and then getting set up in the conference room (or wherever the interview is being held). Also, usually interviews are done back to back, so barging in 15 minutes before your time takes away time used evaluating the previous applicant.
@@sebkure "It's not rude to be ready at an interview 15 minutes early, but it is rude to assume your interview starts 15 minutes earlier than scheduled." Never said it was, and yes you are right about the second part.
@@icebox1954 Yeah, the only acceptable reason to show up more than 5 min early is u putting on an apron and helping out with the last preparations!
Nice video.
To elaborate on why you dont use a store clerk as a language tutor is because we have 2 strict rules when it comes to waiting in line, we never ever jump the line, it just dont happen, we wait our turn, and second rule is you do your business at the counter as fast as you can, because no one like to stand in line.
Try to jump the line in Denmark as an experiment, and you will see everyone turn toward you and give you the evil eye if they see or hear it, and you will definitely be told off, so if you do try the experiment make sure you have a box of chocolate for the person you jumped and say it was a test so everyone can hear it :)
Ah, yes - all good points about the way that Danish queues work. We find that now (after being in Denmark for a few years) we start to get annoyed when people pay in cash and it takes 2-5 seconds longer for them to pay haha 😂
@@RobeTrotting I always pay in cash. And my experience is, that many "card-users" take up just as much time to make it right?!
12:05 That's actually dependant on where you are. While this might be true for CPH or other large cities, it's different on the countryside.
I live far out on the countryside (Near Gilleleje, which you should visit once in summertime) at a small village. Here it's custom to say hi and smile if you pass someone, regardless if you know them or not (unless if you are in a store, this only matters for the outdoors). If you do not say/answer hi, you're being rude.
And people smalltalk even if they do not know eachother, usually about local subjects, or they know someone, who know someone, who knows someone you know. The thumb of rule here is that the conversation is about a local subject and nonpersonal, unless you talk for a good while, then you can start being slightly more personal.
As I write this, it really hits me that we Danes have (a LOT) really wierd unwritten rules lol
Thanks for adding this. We have noticed that there is some regional difference outside of the city and in Jutland and Fyn for example where people are more conversational. The unwritten rules make things a little more interesting for sure, but it’s fun to unlock the culture 😃🇩🇰
Small talk is okay, if you have a reason behind it and the person seems interested in talking.
If you are standing in line and aren't certain about something on the menu or can't figure out the sizing of the cups or whatever then it is COMPLETLY fine to ask the person nearby (unless ofcourse they are busy with something else) about it.
If anything the person behind will be thankful that you wont have to block the line with your simple questions anyone could answer.
After that it is okay to have minor convensation if the person is up for it but I wouldn't recommend just talking about the weather or something like that.
It needs to have some sorth of meaning behind it even if it is something minor. We aren't cold but it can be rather uncomftable having someone suddenly expect your full attention for seemingly no reason but if there is a reason behind it then it becomes way easier.
This isn't quite the same if you are out at a social gathering though.
If you are at a bar (If they ever open again...) you randomly talking to someone might be a bit odd but it won't be frowned upon in quite the same light but I would still recommend doing it in a way that feels organic and comftable and gives the other person a chance to be a part of the convensation because it gives you something in common to talk about and wont feel awkward for people that might not be too used to small talk.
If you just go "The weather is nice lately" while sitting next to a random person at the bar there wont really be much for that person to say back...
They can nod or give you a "yes" but that small talk wont really be able to get anything going at all unless the weather is more shifting than a teenage girls mood because it is boring.
Asking a question instead would be way more intriguing and could actually lead to something and that is what most people want. We don't want an empty "Hey, how are ya?" we want an actual question where you are interested in the answer or a statement we can use as a convensation starter.
I also lived in Denmark and I always wondered why the Janteloven is not mentioned much more...it is SO embedded in every day life.
One thing to definitely avoid doing in DK: the cheese cradle 😲 When you slice cheese and just make a deep middle with high sides... People have died for less!
That made me laugh! So true! My boyfriend is Danish and he gets so mad when I do that by accident haha
I feel slightly called out, because I feel so bad for hating people who do that. Especially since it's such a small thing...
I've always felt that learning a languages often comes down to 'how needed is it' - and I even heard from someone that to limit yourself away from your 'core language' so you have like 'every saturday after the clock strikes mid day and up to dinner time - everything is done in danish' had helped cuz there was an enforced requirement to do so.
Yes I know, this is like with kids and having a no-TV watching period on a weekend day to get them to do something else. But it's all about some strict guidelines so you know 'this is the time for this now'.
Oh and one note with that housevisit gift - find something that you feel is a good thing to bring. Because even if said person might not be a winedrinker, it's the intent behind the gift that often matters most - I saw this wine and, although I dunno if you drink such, I felt it was just the right visit-gift to give.
Or yeah, chocolate is almost always a perfect option. X3
Flowers! Flowers are always a good token gift! Just be aware to colors! And what that color might mean!
Try going to Jylland and Fyn, life and people are very different depending where you live. Here in Jylland, the only time I've felt the need to give someone a gift is for a celebration, house warming, birthday, christmas whatever, so it might be a thing in Copenhagen but idk, otherwise the people you know might just be special. Personally not a thing I've noticed.
Some of these I feel are mainly for the big cities. Try going to a small city/town, I feel we're a lot more chill.
But yeah don't talk to strangers... That's weird man
We have some travels planned for Jylland, of course, it won't be the same as living there for a long period of time (which we have only experienced in Copenhagen) but we will definitely pay closer attention to the differences. We hear a lot of these don't apply outside of CPH 😀🇩🇰
Good video. Food for thought.
Well there is one scenario small talk with strangers that is allowed, in case of something going wrong of a common annoyance. Like if there is train problem. Then it is allowed to say "oh it's so typical with the trains being late/having problems".
+ Try going to judland, they are a bit different in their mannerism there. Like I was surprised when a bus driver was saying goodmorning... That doesn't happen in copenhagen, I Can tell you that.
Oh yes, that wouldn't happen in Copenhagen 😂 We have heard that a lot of regional differences come into play in Jylland.
It’s because in Copenhagen, most of them are rude! 😁
Ooh - I laughed at this one - so true - Sometimes I wish we were more "latin" in our social interaction.. but yes I can totally relate to the way - especially Americans - come of as superficial and abrasive. One thing you did not mention is how loud you guys are in public places - Be the f... quiet - we dont want to hear your conversation from the other side of the restaurant;-) . Danes are on the other hand extremely direct when it comes to sex, politics and religion - not sure it is a bad thing - but definitely different. I am sure we come of as offensive and insensitive.
Anyway - When I am in the US I just love how accessible Americans are - you can always strike up a conversation with a stranger - just to kill a few minutes waiting in line. I try to limit the F-word in my vocabulary when I am in the US - and I've found out that the weather is not an interesting topic in the American South West - "Yes it is warm and sunny , but it has been like that for the last three months"
My girlfriend and I were on a train in the Copenhagen area, and were just excited to be there, and were chatting just a bit loud. We were angrily shushed by an older fellow sitting near us. Yikes! We were both chastened, feeling quite bad and dialed it back to a whisper!
@@finalascent Sounds like a grumpy old fart to me. I always find there are just some elderly people who hates everyone, and are extremely rude. I definitely consider it rude to shush a stranger (unless it's an unsupervised kid- or group of kids or something being extremely loud).
It could of course be you were so unlucky to have placed yourselves in the silent coupe, where no talking is allowed under any circumstance and generally neither is any other noise.
@@benjamin-sch Well, could also be, that the loud talking was seriously bothering him. My dad had severe hearing damage due to very early birth, and to him it was very difficult to hear the tv, if some1 else was speaking, or to make conversation himself, if some1 else nearby was speaking loudly, so he couldnt focus on, what he needed to hear. Its not always ppl just being jerks. Sometimes u, without knowing or wanting to be, are being the jerk. In my experience, ppl shushing some1 else usually have a good reason for it, even if u cant see it.
@@dfuher968 in my experience shushing is never a polite way to tell adult people to calm down.
You could just ask them nicely, and they would properly oblige.
I'm known for being late among the people who know me, so the day before I tell them I'm probably gonna be late or on the day. I always try to make it up for them by buying them a drink afterwards.
Det var sgu spot on :-) Fed video. Bliv endelig ved med det og velkommen til Danmark !
Thank you so much and thank you for watching 😃🇩🇰
I can sort of get behind most things except for the "gift" part, I have never brought a gift when I visit someone and never seen anyone doing it unless it´s a special occasion.
I'm a Dane living in the Netherlands and I have a similar experience about the Dutch language to the point where Dutch people will tell me not to bother with learning the language since everybody speaks English (which is vastly overestimated by the way - I regularly meet Dutch people who don't). Yet any mail you get will be in Dutch, and websites with an English option are few and far between. It's actually been a huge eye opener for me about my own culture: there's probably no obstacle greater to learning a language than being able to use English wherever you go with no annoyance from your interlocutor - even if it would be a really useful language to learn.
I guess there are some situations where the best way to learn is in a classroom where the focus is on learning the language, not on acheiving a task.