First went to Nunraw in 1st year at High school, 1977,many years ago now. Went back as an adult, 1995 roughly, loved my time there especially in Winter. I used to take a week off work in November and spend it at Nunraw, was dark at 4 in the afternoon, no telly or radio, just Vespers then Compline then Charles led the Rosary followed by tea and biscuits. Was immersed in my Faith at that time, unfortunately I chose another path. In hindsight I gave up the Greatest thing in my life🙏would change it all in a heartbeat. Brother Stephen was a great help to me, a man so obviously close to God, you could tell by the Peace he had.
I'm 34, Lutheran, but I think I received the call last night from God at 3am. I was watching the show "Lost" at 3am as I've been mentally, spiritually, and emotionally "Lost" for a long time now. The episode was about Desmond, who went to a monastery to retreat and to become a monk at a beautiful Abbey in Scotland. God must've had other plans, though for Desmond. I felt something. "Feeling" for the first time in awhile, so I started researching it online, looking for Abbey's in USA (some close by such as Saint Josephs Abbey in Spencer, Massachusetts). Listened to their Compline Melody music I found at ua-cam.com/video/rGVmwnGDXmA/v-deo.html and it "Touched" my soul like no other music, especially with the soothing guitar and singing(?)/chanting at the beginning and throughout it. I've been anxiety fueled with depression and lacking spirituality for awhile. I've been thinking of taking the long drive there for a retreat to see to see if I receive the call from God but I don't know if I'd be allowed as I'm Lutheran technically (though haven't practiced in awhile, well before I became "Lost" after I lost my best friend, who was the best guitar player ever, die of an overdose night before Thanksgiving 2006. I feel like it was my fault as he called me because he just got back from a different college than I was going to, but I didn't answer as I had a hangover from drinking the night before (that is another issue as alcoholism is an issue in my tattered family life, but have been drink free for 11 years now, but have other issues. I didn't drink often, but occassionally I would hit it to hard to help with some lingering issues of abuse as a child). When I didn't pick up he must've called a bad influence friend of his that was in to drugs. I would never let Luke touch drugs when we were hanging, just some beers and his guitar, but his friend brought drugs to his house that night and Thanksgiving Day I got the call that he died. Ever since then I've downward spiraled. Blaming myself for not answering his call as I didn't want to tell him "I can't come over,' and leave him down. I figured the next night we could hang as Thanksgiving breaks in the US are a week off from University and we'd have plenty of time. His lovely mother had inoperable cancer at the time too and I was the only friend that his family loved/liked as most of our friends were bad influences. I guess I was a bad influence too. Of all his friends, they asked me to be a pallbearer. I couldn't get the courage to tell them before she died but I did visit for awhile after before she died. I was so low at that point that I'd drive to his grave for years after about and hours away, and sit there and talk to his grave and have a few beers and cry and talk and apologize. I'm not proud of the drinking part and would sober up as much as I could before leaving. I went back to university, and just started isolating myself, turning to vodka instead of beer (which I could handle unless I binged, but vodka I couldn't control). I got great grades and on the weekends and holiday breaks, I wouldn't go home. Instead I'd go on days to week long binges to the point where I once got delirium tremens when I would stop and started hallucinating, having sleep paralysis where I'd see demons on top of me as real as life but I couldn't move until it attacked me and I woke up with sweats and breathing like I just drowned and came back to life. I had auditory hallucinations as well. I started to worry that I was going to die as my heart rate and blood pressure was so high, and shaking so much I couldn't hold a glass of water. I knew I was going to die so I called a university friend hoping he'd still be in town to pick me up and take me to the hospital immediately. Thank the Lord that he was there (I didn't want to go in an ambulance as my anxiety was off the roof). We checked into the hospital and I was so shaky that I couldn't sign in to the hospital, but again thank God that the doctors immediately put me in front of the line. Blood pressure was so high they were surprised I was still alive. They strapped me to a gurney as I was involuntary spasmodic and injected something to bring the blood pressure down. They kept me overnight then sent me home with a prescription to calm me down. I was a male cheerleader at a big university and there was a basketball tournament that I was scheduled to go to out of state, so we all flew there. For the next several months I still had hallucinations and couldn't eat. I remember one night waking up screaming at my hotel roommate that their were bugs in my bed crawling on me, and ripped apart my bed. I knew I needed help, so once I got back to university, I attended multiple sessions of AA a day for about 6 months. Read all the books, but stopped going as I found the library to be my solitude and would go every night to read a book a day. It helped. Then I got a job at a nice east coast beach for summer with college kids and the drinking started up again as there were parties every night. It got bad. It continued after I went back to university until one weekend I came home and told my father that I needed help because I had terrible chronic pain in my stomach and was still drinking. I was diagnosed with Chronic Pancreatis, a disease brought on by alcohol consumption, incurable only manageable. I was put in the hospital psych ward and they diagnosed me with a host of untreatable mental health issues as well. Severe anxiety, social anxiety, depression, PTSD, ETC. I was put on a cocktail of meds that helped, but overtime I got hooked on them. Fast forward 11 years later to today, I live with excruciating chronic pain in my stomach from the chronic Pancreatis. I've been lonely, isolated for years now. I know I need to get spiritually healthy again. I need God and Jesus Christ back in my life. With my issues and being a Lutheran, I don't think I can even do a retreat at a catholic monastery. I pray that I can but don't know how it works for a person like me, if at all. I need structure and camaraderie again as well. I know I need to go to church and study the Bible. I know I probably need to fix myself with the help of God and maybe someday I can take a retreat. God brought me here and to even write this has felt a relief off my back. God bless and thank you.
@@TM-bn8pv I only wrote the small comment I made after I was thinking about Nunraw and listening to Compline. I was only able to because of Alcoholics Anonymous. I struggled with life and ran to the bottle as my solution. This led me to AA. I have no doubt that a Power Greater than Myself led me there. I struggled to find Peace and Happiness in AA at first because I didn't pick up the Programme of Recovery . I was Mentally, Physically and Spiritually ( and emotionally) "dead". The Programme led me to a Higher Power who is all inclusive. God is Love. God has no favourites. God loves each one of us with a love so strong its as though we were the only person in the Universe. My opinion is that God isn't Catholic, Protestant or any religion as such. I searched everywhere for God and found Him in Alcoholics Anonymous. I wish you well in your search, sometimes though we have to look in the right place 🙏
Having been to compline at pluscarfen abbey in Moray shire near Elgin I do like this video,I felt nothing but lots of contemplation and peace while on retreat a few Yeats ago.
I was on a pilgrimage to St. Andrews in Scotland in the 1960. There were many religious orders and congregations there including Cistercian Abbot Columban Mulcahy and monks of the Nunraw Abbey. There seemed to be quite a sizeable numbers of them in those days.
Seems like they have given up on the traditional Gregorian chant and the organ is too loud. It is meant to sustain the chant not overwhelm it. I prefer Vespers at Pluscarden Abbey in the traditional Latin Gregorian chant with the organ barely audible.
First went to Nunraw in 1st year at High school, 1977,many years ago now. Went back as an adult, 1995 roughly, loved my time there especially in Winter. I used to take a week off work in November and spend it at Nunraw, was dark at 4 in the afternoon, no telly or radio, just Vespers then Compline then Charles led the Rosary followed by tea and biscuits. Was immersed in my Faith at that time, unfortunately I chose another path. In hindsight I gave up the Greatest thing in my life🙏would change it all in a heartbeat. Brother Stephen was a great help to me, a man so obviously close to God, you could tell by the Peace he had.
I'm 34, Lutheran, but I think I received the call last night from God at 3am.
I was watching the show "Lost" at 3am as I've been mentally, spiritually, and emotionally "Lost" for a long time now. The episode was about Desmond, who went to a monastery to retreat and to become a monk at a beautiful Abbey in Scotland. God must've had other plans, though for Desmond.
I felt something. "Feeling" for the first time in awhile, so I started researching it online, looking for Abbey's in USA (some close by such as Saint Josephs Abbey in Spencer, Massachusetts). Listened to their Compline Melody music I found at ua-cam.com/video/rGVmwnGDXmA/v-deo.html and it "Touched" my soul like no other music, especially with the soothing guitar and singing(?)/chanting at the beginning and throughout it. I've been anxiety fueled with depression and lacking spirituality for awhile. I've been thinking of taking the long drive there for a retreat to see to see if I receive the call from God but I don't know if I'd be allowed as I'm Lutheran technically (though haven't practiced in awhile, well before I became "Lost" after I lost my best friend, who was the best guitar player ever, die of an overdose night before Thanksgiving 2006. I feel like it was my fault as he called me because he just got back from a different college than I was going to, but I didn't answer as I had a hangover from drinking the night before (that is another issue as alcoholism is an issue in my tattered family life, but have been drink free for 11 years now, but have other issues. I didn't drink often, but occassionally I would hit it to hard to help with some lingering issues of abuse as a child). When I didn't pick up he must've called a bad influence friend of his that was in to drugs. I would never let Luke touch drugs when we were hanging, just some beers and his guitar, but his friend brought drugs to his house that night and Thanksgiving Day I got the call that he died. Ever since then I've downward spiraled. Blaming myself for not answering his call as I didn't want to tell him "I can't come over,' and leave him down. I figured the next night we could hang as Thanksgiving breaks in the US are a week off from University and we'd have plenty of time. His lovely mother had inoperable cancer at the time too and I was the only friend that his family loved/liked as most of our friends were bad influences. I guess I was a bad influence too. Of all his friends, they asked me to be a pallbearer. I couldn't get the courage to tell them before she died but I did visit for awhile after before she died. I was so low at that point that I'd drive to his grave for years after about and hours away, and sit there and talk to his grave and have a few beers and cry and talk and apologize. I'm not proud of the drinking part and would sober up as much as I could before leaving.
I went back to university, and just started isolating myself, turning to vodka instead of beer (which I could handle unless I binged, but vodka I couldn't control). I got great grades and on the weekends and holiday breaks, I wouldn't go home. Instead I'd go on days to week long binges to the point where I once got delirium tremens when I would stop and started hallucinating, having sleep paralysis where I'd see demons on top of me as real as life but I couldn't move until it attacked me and I woke up with sweats and breathing like I just drowned and came back to life. I had auditory hallucinations as well. I started to worry that I was going to die as my heart rate and blood pressure was so high, and shaking so much I couldn't hold a glass of water. I knew I was going to die so I called a university friend hoping he'd still be in town to pick me up and take me to the hospital immediately. Thank the Lord that he was there (I didn't want to go in an ambulance as my anxiety was off the roof).
We checked into the hospital and I was so shaky that I couldn't sign in to the hospital, but again thank God that the doctors immediately put me in front of the line. Blood pressure was so high they were surprised I was still alive. They strapped me to a gurney as I was involuntary spasmodic and injected something to bring the blood pressure down. They kept me overnight then sent me home with a prescription to calm me down. I was a male cheerleader at a big university and there was a basketball tournament that I was scheduled to go to out of state, so we all flew there. For the next several months I still had hallucinations and couldn't eat. I remember one night waking up screaming at my hotel roommate that their were bugs in my bed crawling on me, and ripped apart my bed.
I knew I needed help, so once I got back to university, I attended multiple sessions of AA a day for about 6 months. Read all the books, but stopped going as I found the library to be my solitude and would go every night to read a book a day. It helped.
Then I got a job at a nice east coast beach for summer with college kids and the drinking started up again as there were parties every night. It got bad. It continued after I went back to university until one weekend I came home and told my father that I needed help because I had terrible chronic pain in my stomach and was still drinking. I was diagnosed with Chronic Pancreatis, a disease brought on by alcohol consumption, incurable only manageable. I was put in the hospital psych ward and they diagnosed me with a host of untreatable mental health issues as well. Severe anxiety, social anxiety, depression, PTSD, ETC. I was put on a cocktail of meds that helped, but overtime I got hooked on them. Fast forward 11 years later to today, I live with excruciating chronic pain in my stomach from the chronic Pancreatis. I've been lonely, isolated for years now.
I know I need to get spiritually healthy again. I need God and Jesus Christ back in my life. With my issues and being a Lutheran, I don't think I can even do a retreat at a catholic monastery. I pray that I can but don't know how it works for a person like me, if at all. I need structure and camaraderie again as well. I know I need to go to church and study the Bible. I know I probably need to fix myself with the help of God and maybe someday I can take a retreat.
God brought me here and to even write this has felt a relief off my back.
God bless and thank you.
@@TM-bn8pv I only wrote the small comment I made after I was thinking about Nunraw and listening to Compline. I was only able to because of Alcoholics Anonymous. I struggled with life and ran to the bottle as my solution. This led me to AA. I have no doubt that a Power Greater than Myself led me there. I struggled to find Peace and Happiness in AA at first because I didn't pick up the Programme of Recovery . I was Mentally, Physically and Spiritually ( and emotionally) "dead". The Programme led me to a Higher Power who is all inclusive. God is Love. God has no favourites. God loves each one of us with a love so strong its as though we were the only person in the Universe. My opinion is that God isn't Catholic, Protestant or any religion as such. I searched everywhere for God and found Him in Alcoholics Anonymous. I wish you well in your search, sometimes though we have to look in the right place 🙏
@@tonymcbride6981 thank you, my friend. God bless you and have a Blessed and Happy Easter!
Brings back memories of when my mum used to take me there as a boy. So glad some things never change. Beautiful!
Did vocation discernment there about 8/9 years ago
Didn't have courage to take final step
Having been to compline at pluscarfen abbey in Moray shire near Elgin I do like this video,I felt nothing but lots of contemplation and peace while on retreat a few Yeats ago.
I remember my first visit to Nunraw, it was a school 6th year trip, I was 17 and it was a cold December. Fond memories of this place.
Fond memories of Nunraw Abbey x
i remeber Compline so well but I do notice how few monks there are nowadays!! chris dunnion
I was on a pilgrimage to St. Andrews in Scotland in the 1960. There were many religious orders and congregations there including Cistercian Abbot Columban Mulcahy and monks of the Nunraw Abbey. There seemed to be quite a sizeable numbers of them in those days.
Just another day at Nunraw Abbey 🙏🏻
Seems like they have given up on the traditional Gregorian chant and the organ is too loud. It is meant to sustain the chant not overwhelm it. I prefer Vespers at Pluscarden Abbey in the traditional Latin Gregorian chant with the organ barely audible.
i go this chrch on sunday