4:23 if u also have ADHD and cant help but want to move to another video because its taking too long to watch the signs 4:23 is when he starts talking about the signs
Omg, literally half the video talking about who knows what (I'm not watching that, thanks a lot, by the way). Hate when they don't go straight to the point.
My mother was good at making me stop rocking or fidgeting in any way she could see. I had a meltdown a few months back and when I let him my husband snuggled me and started rocking us. Omg it was dual stimming and oxytocin is awesome. It feels natural to rock when I'm getting stressed. I still look to see if people notice.
I can relate ,I never really had people around and 1-0-1 contact with anyone who had the role of primary caretakers, I was just sort of there .But when my husband squishes me during a meltdown that's the one thing that works I think that it's the feel good hormones.Both my husband and I rock ,he hasn't been diagnosed though
@@rachelthompson7487 he is incredibly sweet but didn't see me struggling this morning and I couldn't get my voice to work so wee fun sleepy & mutism first thing. Feeling like a cortisol slave at the moment.
I am not autistic, but my best friend is. I enjoy watching these so i can be a better friend and understand. Been best friends for nearly 15 years and she is just finding out she is autistic. I picked up on most of this without knowing she was on the spectrum. Understanding in this way has really helped our friendship and I love that she feels comfortable to remove her mask around me.
I had two co-workers who guessed I was autistic before I was even diagnosed, because I have a tendency to zone out A LOT. One of them had an autistic son and the other had an autistic nephew, and they recognized some of the traits.
I have autism and I am not afraid to say it. I have every sign that was said in the video. A lot of smart people who you may not think of are autistic. That doesn't mean that mean that they are dumb in any way. It just means that they learn differently.
@@joebonomono I Googled psychologists in my area with experience regarding adult autism and testing for it. I called and arranged to get tested, and that's how I got my diagnosis.
@@tangerinefizz11 Thank you. I started trying to see a psychologist in September through the VA, I've gotten nowhere with them, all they do is cancel appointments and reschedule weeks down the road. I'm going to have figure out a different route and wanted to know what you did. Thank you.
I had that when I went to animation school. The classrooms were horrible, so loud and bright (my light sensitivity is the worst, I can't go outside in sunlight), I started getting anxiety about going and eventually dropped out because none of the accommodations I was promised were being given to me
I like to say that we flap because we lack tails to wag, and if someone mentions my lack of eye contact I say I'd rather listen to their words than their eyes. Also sensory discrepancy: harder to define but we each have some senses which are hyper- and some that are hypo. We'll both at once, but for each of us it'll be different senses which are strong/weak.
I love this: "because we lack tails to wag." 🤗 Anyone who has seen a happy excited dog can relate to this. Edit/add-on: A Big "Definitely Yes" to the Hypersensitivity topic.
I was diagnosed autistic six days ago (after a two and a half years waiting list) at 47 years old. My understanding of what autism is was so off I didn’t know who I was until I started to research. I’m incredibly good at building rapport with people because I parrot them! Something I can’t keep up indefinitely so never ends well. But mirroring and masking are a huge part of being female and autistic. And why we fall through the net when it comes to being diagnosed.
Hi Zoe Bowler. Well done for managing to get your Autism diagnosis because sometimes that can be a battle in itself. Now you have an actual diagnosis does it change the way you view autism or for example do you feel more at peace/ ease with yourself because of the diagnosis. Sorry, I hope I've phrased that question in the correct way. X
@@carolinebedford9836 it’s changed my life! Before I was “depressed….anxious had social anxiety” all things I thought I had to fight to overcome. I see everything so differently now. I am who and what I am so I’ve accepted all those things as just part of me. I try to set boundaries taking my autism into account now without feeling too guilty. That’s made a huge difference to my mental wellbeing. I’m happy to answer any questions you have xx
Sadly, we are just in that generation that were grown when they finally realized there was a spectrum & yes, female autistics exist. My issues caught up to me all at once at 43. Rendered me disabled because of all the physical symptoms from sensory overload (and likely a lifetime of not knowing) kept me from gainful employment. 10 years later, I'm still learning, but knowing I just cannot be around crowds, noise out of my control has helped me adjust my life so I'm not in the restroom all day.
My son was diagnosed as severely autistic 27 years ago. He never did rock or hand-flap. He does eye contact but not as much as some of us. He might zone out a bit & certain things cause a bit of anxiety but rarely. He has a great sense of humor and loves being around people, but doesn't always understand social clues. I feel so blessed & wouldn't trade him for the world. God bless you all
So didn't stim, rarely zones out, makes eye contact, is very social with a good sense of humour and doesn't have any social anxiety. What makes him "severely" autistic? He has trouble with social clues, but that's not always due to autism, not if most of the other signs aren't there. I wasn't even aware there was a "severe" category. High functioning and low functioning, yes (and neither describes the extent of the difficulties experienced. As an autistic comedian said, "I'm classed as high functioning, which makes people think I function highly. I don't".). I think I'd be wary of a misdiagnosis (but I'm totally aware that I only know a few of the facts, hence the, probably intrusive, questions....)
@0dd0ne I didn't know that external symptoms are what make autism...those are just symptoms of what's going on inside the brain;-) Which I'm sure people can handle differently.
@ChatGPT1111 - He was correctly diagnosed. Believe me, as I've been studying autism for almost 3 decades now. But everyone on the spectrum is different and unique in their own ways. I volunteered in his classrooms for 13 years, so I saw the vast differences. The team of 8 medical professionals at a large-city children's hospital who diagnosed him as "Severely Autistic" on their scale left us with little to no hope for him or his future. He had zero speech until almost 5 years old and very little understanding of things until 7 years old, and potty-trained at 8 years old. Thanks to the good Lord and older, wiser mentors in our lives, and a couple of sweet teachers, he is a loving, giving young man and wouldn't trade him for the world! He may never be a "professional" in the eyes of the world but he truly cares about people and I think that's important. I feel unworthy and so blessed to be his mom.
Rocking back and forth is actually backed up by neuroscience as well. The motion causes cerebrospinal fluid to wash over the brain, which has a calming effect.
I love your channel! I have Asperger's and the anxiety is tough. But, most specifically, the social anxiety is extremely hard for me to cope with. I was different as a child and I was bullied and teased mercilessly because of it. Unfortunately, that stuff can often follow a person for the rest of their lives and I can say that from experience. The fear of being bullied, the low self-esteem, the hyper vigilance is all still with me as an adult. When I'm in a social setting and the anxiety starts it grows in intensity until I'm out of the situation. The signs become painfully obvious and are almost impossible to cover up. I tremble - not just my hands but my entire body will tremble to the point where my legs are noticably shaking. I have a hard time breathing so it's hard to get the words out when I try to talk. My eyes have always been expressive of whatever I'm feeling and I know that people can see the fear in my eyes despite my efforts to hide it. People can be cruel. Even adults treat people who are different poorly. Thank you for mentioning it. I don't feel so alone.
I'm not saying this as a cure but maybe some degree of help. When you are in a social environment the anxiety comes from over thinking? Over stimulation? When you are in a social situation a person should be almost fully in their senses and their observations and not in their heads. You know what I mean? You or I when we get anxiety it is because we approach the situation from a self centered situation when we should almost be in a self forgetting situation. Like. When I used to be In public i would think about how what i do or say makes people view me. When i would do that i would then think ... what is the correct thing to do to be viewed or liked. So you are trying to read others and mold yourself to get the correct results. Opposed to this is going into the situation and paying full calm attention to everyone and everything else. Forget personal gain and loss. Be as weird as you are but care for and about others. Care about listening to them and living them and not self gain and loss. If they hate you accept it is not you that cause the hate but the hate that us in them that is expressed. Love others and treat them lovingly and accept all negative that comes your way as a path to greater inner strength. I know it seems new agey but I mean it literally. You cN start this by getting to your base calm state. Reduce all stimuli to the point where you are at max self comfort. Walk in nature or meditate concentrate on breath. You know your best state. Sink into this and consciously add stimulation slowly and deliberate and see where you lose your center. You can better this.
Thank you my friend, completely familiar, bullying can follow you from job to job to job, and even some "decent" people can be relentlessly cruel, they really can't stand us being different. I try to be relentlessly positive, but we've gotta educate people about our differences. I'm devoting the rest of my life to running for public office as an independent because I'm so sick of the violence and bullying I endured as a child. By Jove I'll show people how the world looks through our eyes! Best wishes my friend, I find plenty of outdoors activities can really help us Aspies/Autistic people. I bought a tiny yacht which brings me great joy, I recommend getting outdoors as often as possible... Cheerio! 😎
I was bullied as a child and even sometimes as an adult because of the hand-flapping thing, which I'm not usually consciously aware of. I also shiver sometimes because of anxiety and invariably people ask "Are you feeling cold?" One problem is that a lot of people still think that "autistic people" are all just like Rain Man, and if you're intelligent, educated and can live independently, then you can't possibly be autistic.
Story of my life. I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but Jesus can change your life. I’m not talking about going to church, most of them don’t even worship the real Jesus. They’re hypocrites. I had a near death experience and witnessed the other side. Demons are real and so are angels. I realized it’s not people that are evil, but the demons that possess them are. Those people that bullied you were manifesting. Jesus saved me from my heart attack, healed my vision+sense of smell, and gave me the Holy Spirit. I don’t understand how people live without it. I know it sounds crazy but all the work was done for you on the cross. You can have life more abundantly on earth as well as eternal life by accepting it through faith. Once you’re born again, life will get so much better. Please let me know if you have any questions, you are loved more than you could ever imagine ❤️
In some social situations I kinda go mute and in public I’ve noticed myself trembling so bad and I can’t control it. My teeth will be chattering and my legs all wobbly lol
I started out with all of these but was punished for them at school, so taught myself to stop or mask everything at just age 3. Now I'm in my 30s, I rock all the time at home, music or not, I rock when I meditate too, it's a really nice experience. I'm not diagnosed but most of my friends are, and we have mutual understanding of our needs and behaviuors, subtle or not, and enjoy our shared experiences and shared understanding of them. It's a much safer space to live in than how I grew up. Awareness is everything
I found out in 2016 at 50 that I have high functioning autism. I'll be 56 on June 15th this year. I flap and stim like many people to help regulate myself. I also have vocal stims and stim on my stuff. I'm able to live by myself and buy my own groceries and personal things. I can get around the area by bus by myself. For places not near me, I get rides from my sister or a family friend.
Couldn’t agree more ❤ so glad you found your people. I found mine too and it completely changed my life. Literally all of my friends and all the people on my community are ND
I am 68 and just forced into retirement as a nurse because of falls. As I was filing away that paperwork, I reviewed a “write-up”, one of the issues that I was required to correct was “consistently make eye contact”. Although I blamed my life long history of falls with the need to constantly look at the floor, I am starting to suspect it may have also been an excuse to not HAVE to make eye contact.
Autism is real, many people now days use it for an excuse to not use self discipline, live life with integrity , honesty , now days people are taught to have an issue of some kind,,,it's not my fault,,, I can't help it,,,poor me,,, society promotes disabilities now days
One characteristic that I've noticed are flushed cheeks, as if the person looks like they're blushing all the time. It happens to me when I have anxiety attacks, or when I'm talking about something I'm really passionate about. And it has to do with blood sugar levels that tends to be an effect for people on the spectrum, as well as gastrointestinal issues
Warning: the comment above, about the doctor and ADHD, may be a scam. The channel is just spamming this information. It seems like a variation on the crypto investment scam.
Thinking at 46 I am on the spectrum. 4th daughter missed several times & finally DX at 16 last year. I have had GI issues & low blood sugar issues all my life too.
I think I had my "stimming" behavior trained out of me when I was little. I have vague memories of being told very often to sit still. I cannot sit still if I hear music, however. I physically can’t stop myself from moving in time with the music. I was born in the 1960s when most people knew very little about autism and I wasn’t diagnosed as being on the spectrum until I was 53, so my parents had no idea why I behaved the way I did. Other than the stimming thing, I fit the other three behaviors on your list completely. Is an aversion to being touched a universal thing among people with ASD? I hate being touched. Always have. Hugs are extremely uncomfortable and I actually get anxious if I know I’m going to have to hug someone or even shake hands. Maybe that’s not true for everyone on the spectrum and therefore not a good indicator of whether someone has ASD, but it feels to me like it would be a good way to spot someone.
Not everyone has an aversion to being touched but it is a sensitivity that some people have. Other people might need excessive stimulation of one kind or another.
I love to be hugged and touched. I actually need hugs and cuddles. I am aware that not many people are that way though, and unless I am close with someone, I will ask first. I also have no territorial bubble, though I do let people know this, and tell them that I am aware that other people do, so if I'm too close, to let me know. I will build an appropriate boundary around people who need one.
Unfortunately, I went to school in the 2000s and they were still trying to force the stimming out of me. I hope that one of these days, society as a whole can figure out that not everyone can sit still like that. As with being touched - especially with hugs - I actually really enjoy them. I really struggle to properly express my affection for people verbally, but a nice hug does the trick. I mean hell, I'm in my 20s and I still hold my mum's hand sometimes... Now, UNEXPECTED physical contact, on the other hand, is absolutely horrendous. My least favourite thing. If someone even just pokes my arm when I'm unaware, it sends me straight into panic mode for a second.
I really dislike being touched unless it’s my husband and even then it has to be done right. I didn’t expect to ever enjoy touch and warned him of that when we first started dating. Fortunately for me it turned out I just needed the right person who listens to my needs and wants and respects them. Childhood was hard though with an extremely social sibling that insisted on hugs and kisses multiple times a day and parents who told me I was mean if I didn’t give that sibling what they wanted. (I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30’s).
I was 23 the first time I actually caught my hand flapping for what it was-I was so anxious I almost passed out and my arms just shrunk into the sleeves of my sweater and I felt like I was trying shake off the anxiety or something. I hadn’t been officially diagnosed yet but I was already putting the pieces together.
For years I had to be sedated for any dental work other than cleaning. Since being diagnosed with aspergers I have studied everything I could get my hands on. Last week I had extensive work done with no sedation. I simply asked the dentist not to talk to me during the treatment. I found that it was their constant talking that gave me anxiety. I don’t need you to tell me you’re about to touch my mouth. I don’t need a constant playbook. I found if they don’t talk to me that I can zone out and stay zoned. It made all my anxiety just go away. I stimmed by tapping my finger on the arm rest. All these years I didn’t realize that all the anxiety came from the constant voicing of the steps they were doing and at such close range.
The dentist! So many people have to get sedated when they go for check ups and cleanings. I remember, in the city I lived in, one of the dentist was actually a bit more well versed about autism and sensitivity issues. Some of her patients actually felt ok with being under a weighted blanket. Especially the kids. That trick probably helped at least a few of them in getting better dental care as they were growing up.
Wow I'm the same way . Never thought about it . Ha I r cuts are a challenge too . I have to feel the pain we stylists energy , and I get it cut . Not styled or even dried. Cut and go . No chatting, no fussing .
I learned to make eye contact through being screamed at repeatedly to "look in my eyes when I talk to you" while simultaneously being slapped hard on my face and side of my head over and over and then over and over again. I learned to ALWAYS keep aware on some level of the voices of others or be smacked around for ignoring them. And each "undesired behavior" was severely punished. My autistic daughters tell me it's not like that anymore and I am allowed to unmask. Even if I believed that (which I don't) I wouldn't know how. I require MASSIVE amounts of alone time to recharge which is difficult for my wife I'm sure. I'm not looking for sympathy from anyone, I don't want it even if offered. I'm just telling my story to my people and maybe it will encourage someone struggling to know they are capable of more than they realize, are stronger than they realize.💪 I hope 🙏most of you never experienced anything like that but I highly doubt 😒 I was the only autistic to be "trained to behave properly" using this method. 😟 Anyway, stay strong, you got this. Also, good video brother. Last video of yours I saw was 10 signs you might be autistic or something similar. In that video you said wearing the same rotation of clothes but your gf was helping to mix it up and eating a sandwich without sauces. Yeah, just like me. That was a long time ago. You have developed a much better stage presence. Well done 👍😊 I'm still working on mine. Great video. 😀
@@christina7557 Exactly. It's as if the NT is genetically programmed to act that way towards us. It's still necessary for me to zone. Now I do it in short intervals more often like little "mini breaks" throughout my day.
I completely forgot until reading your comment- my mother did exactly the same thing- LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU (she was actually screeching, not talking) and she would grab my face with one hand kind of under the chin, and dig her nails into my cheeks and then use the other hand to smack me in the face, fore and backhand, just back and forth. My first memory of that happening I think I was maybe 4 or so. Holy shit. It’s amazing we can block that shit out and then suddenly remember every detail.
@@tinnitusisnotmusic6807 I think the link you're talking about might be a misdiagnosis. There are a lot of overlapping symptoms they share, and for that resean autism can sometimes look like BPD in ppl who are really good at masking. A lot of professionals are not educated enough in autism, especially in women and girls. Often women who are diagnosed with BPD and a plethora of other diagnoses just have autism. You can have multiple at the same time; for example, OCD and ADHD are often comorbid with autism. But usually if you are diagnosed autistic after getting the BPD diagnosis, it means you probably didn't have BPD to begin with. I'm not a psychologist myself, I just know from research and experience. This happened to my sister and a number of ppl I read on reddit. If I were you, I'd definitely look for a professional who has experience diagnosing autism in women. Good luck!
It’s important to keep in mind that there are a limited number of symptoms and behaviors, which, in different combinations can indicate different disorders. At least three of the behaviors mentioned in this video: problems with eye contact, social difficulties and self- soothing behaviors, are also present in children and even adults who are victims of abuse. They can occur mental abuse and neglect with or without physical abuse and neglect. It’s important to get a sense of the child as a whole. as well as try to get a sense of the child’s home life, and their relationships with family members and close family friends outside the home as well. Abuse occurring outside the home and family. Bullying, if severe and/or sustained can lead to these behaviors as well: It’s important to observe/ask about the person’s interactions with their peers.
Right on, I was hoping for more of a telltale list. I wrote a comment earlier and was surprised he didn't talk about how we hold a pencil, or even our terrible handwriting (unless your area of strength is that somehow). Or their bed-wetting friend they couldn't invite to sleepovers. Or PACING, probably the biggest telltale is not just any old pacing but all day long, not stopping movement even when sitting down, unless just zapped of energy finally. Especially if they self talk and it's not with imaginary people but just about random problems that they want to solve. Being an Insomniac. I'm with you though, Anxiety is everywhere, hardly can use that as a determiner. Plus mine comes from not being understood to be inherently different. Abusive family, shitty childhood, life chewed me up a bit before i finally found out that I really was as weird as people kept saying LOL
I’m 45yrs and undiagnosed/self diagnosed. A few years ago my teenager started researching mental health, ADHD and autism because he wanted to figure out what “was wrong with him”. He started telling me that I was probably ADHD and on the autism spectrum. So I started looking into it myself. I recognized a ton of the traits in myself when I’d read and watch videos of women talking about autism and Inattentive ADHD. But whenever rocking is mentioned it’s always showed as a very obvious thing. I’d think “well I do rock side to side when standing in line. But I thought I didn’t do it at other times. Same with when you talked about it and showed it in this video. But then towards the end of your video I noticed that I was rocking, just way more subtle, and realized I actually do it often.
I'm 61 rocking all the time with no music. And I do Jazz hands... when I do it people think I'm waving... I go nope jazz hands... I think being on the spectrum keeps me young. My daughter did the same as your teen.
I think it's common for people to rock in general, because it distributes the body weight, so there isn't too much pressure on the same joints. Also, humans are rhythmical beings. Rocking a bit, or a leg, or some other body part, is a stress reliever for most neurotypical people, too. Especially when weeping in an extreme emotional state, to self-soothe. Most of my family is on the autism spectrum, but I am not . People on the autism spectrum may rock more because their stress levels, and need to find a focussed coping method, in high sensory environments, is needed more.
@@daniellamcgee4251 I don’t understand why you’re (a non autistic person) making invalidating comments on here (a channel dedicated to the experience of autism) to people whom are describing their own experiences. While yes it’s true that many people will display SOME of these things and not be autistic or have ADHD. It’s overwhelmingly obvious to those who have lived with the mountain of evidence of these things, and the struggle we’ve lived with our entire lives not knowing or understanding what was “wrong” with us. More than not because we’ve been conditioned to suppress these traits and therefore have heavily masked. Those symptoms made other people uncomfortable. We were told we shouldn’t be “acting” that way (often times threatened with violence for continuing to do that “weird/unpleasant” thing. Or the traits/symptoms were completely missed. Because so many people would brush it off like “everyone/most people do that thing. I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past. Because of the life long conditioning. People like me, whom if we were children today, would be more likely to be spotted early and would therefore get the diagnosis. Like with ADHD, back then it was thought to be only a thing that affected boys, and autism wasn’t even known about when I was a child.
@@mrs.chrowley928 No, I think it's a valid and analytical point. Even for a genuinely neurodivergent person, if they find they exhibit something like rocking only to a very mild degree, to point out that mild rocking is _also_ a behavior seen in neurotypical people shows that there's a certain non-zero baseline that one needs to consider when figuring out "how much" of that aspect of the spectrum one exhibits. If you presume that a neurotypical person doesn't exhibit "rocking" or other forms of stimming *at all,* then you might over-estimate how much you, yourself, are showing that trait. They never said, neither explicitly nor implicitly, that examining this *one trait* would invalidate or otherwise get them to "reverse course" the entire stance on being autistic. So there's no need to be excessively confrontational or accusative. And, since I predict given the previous comment there's a fairly good chance of it coming up in a response, I'll just preemptively address it: no I'm not neurotypical. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and, though I haven't been formally diagnosed with the following, I have well supported suspicions that I would also fit under at least ASD and OCD. So any retort you may potentially have been concocting based on me not having grounds to participate based on "not being neurodivergent", even if they completely fly in the face of the concept of open inclusivity and dialogue without creating an echo chamber, can be pitched.
I work as an education assistant with children on the autism spectrum. Sometimes the teacher I work with will ask one of the students with autism to sit down in their seat when they are flapping their hands or moving around the room. Even if they are not being loud. This often happens when they are at the standing desk. I don’t mind if my student doesn’t just stand at the standing desk as long as they are being quiet. If they manage by moving their body and flapping their hands but are not disturbing the rest of the class then I am OK with that. If need be I will explain later to my teacher why this happens and how I’m teaching my student that it’s OK to do this as long as they are quiet when the teacher is talking. I will also be sending her this video. Mary Rutter
I was always a 'different' child. I used to rock, flap my hands when I got excited, definitely zoned in (or out) and kept myself busy for hours. My mom thought I was going to be an engineer because I took my toys apart. I did get an associate degree in engineering so I guess she was right. I used to hyperfocus on things such as cleaning my room. That never went well (still doesn't go well) as I will start to go through a box and have to handle everything in the box and play with it. It always ends up back in the box even though I want to sort things out, I just can't. I still hyperfocus on things and get inside my head. However when it comes to eye contact, I was trained to make constant eye contact. I think it's very uncomfortable for others because I won't break eye contact but I don't know how to do anything else. Probably the most unnerving thing is that I don't blink a lot. I don't know why I don't blink a lot I just don't when I'm making eye contact. I feel like an alien trying to be human. It's nice to know that I'm not broken, I'm just different.
You’re not broken at all. You are loved so much by the most high God. I almost died from a heart attack and saw the other side; Jesus is REAL and he has a plan for your life. There’s a book already written about you in heaven. All you have to do is become “born again” and he will give you his Holy Spirit. Your life will change forever ❤️
I’m the same way with the eye contact. My father used to punish me if I didn’t look at him in the eyes when he was talking to me, so I learned to do it. But for some reason the way I look in people’s eyes seems to make most people very uncomfortable. It also for some reason mesmerizes cats.
Goddamn It’s like we are the same on certain things like especially the cleaning room part and the zoning in/out part. I’m nearing 19 and I’ve always thought I had adhd but i might be on the spectrum 🤔
OMG, I have never been able to keep things in order/organize them. I've never been able to pinpoint why except I figured it was ADHD (diagnosed about 25 years ago) but now knowing I'm autistic, what you said hit the target. I start to organize one box/area, and get caught up in the things in that box. They are so interesting to me. And they relate to other tasks, so I go to do those, and the box is not ever sorted all the way. It's a dreaded and exhausting task. Since I do art and make a lot of things with my hands this is never-ending. However, the hyperfocus is calming. Not sure how I'll make use of this information, except that I'm done with feeling shame about how cluttered/disorganized my living space is. The shame makes it worse because anxiety makes me want to hyperfocus on things to calm myself. I can make eye contact easily with a major exception. When I'm trying to say something I want to say or care about. In other words, not masking, not a "script" that I already have in my head. It seems like people are then not interested in those things I really care about and this is discouraging. So I rarely talk about the things that really matter or are really interesting to me. But I can listen to others and make eye contact. However it's exhausting to do so.
I have definitely always had social anxiety and meltdowns. I wonder if I didn't do much rocking or hand flapping because I did so much dancing as a child; and also singing, and/or playing piano. I definitely kept myself busy for hours, took things apart, and "zoned out" per se.
Same here. Fidgeting is not acceptable for women, so we mostly suppress it. I drew 4 horses per every 2 open pages in my social studies notes. He wrote so slow I'd fall asleep otherwise.
Megz, I’ve had these issues my entire life but they’re getting better after my encounter with Jesus. I used to think going to church was Christianity but I was so mistaken; it’s a personal relationship. Almost died from a heart attack and saw the other side; demons are the cause for MOST infirmities. I know Aspergers is physiological, but they really exasperate things. They hate us and want to keep you from God’s love. Jesus stopped my heart attack, healed my vision+sense of smell, and gave me the Holy Spirit. It’s a real thing and will make your life exponentially easier. It’s the same spirit Jesus had on earth. I resisted Jesus all my life because of Aspergers; I couldn’t see the logic behind it. However, it took almost dying and witnessing his miracles to believe. All you have to do is become “born again” and accept the finished work he did on the cross. Confess with thy mouth, and believe in thine heart. He will change you and guide you in all your ways. You have no idea how much he loves you and so do I ❤️ let me know if you have any questions
@@hhholsteiners1 Yeah because, I couldn't remember doing any rocking or hand flapping, but there were times where I would spin for a bit and then lay on the couch so that I could watch the walls and ceiling move ☺. I have been told by coworkers that I make funny noises, but this seems to happen when I am in a stressful atmosphere (such as working in a grocery store). And they say that singing is a form of stimming; I would sing for hours everyday. I eventually found out that it isn't appropriate to do it when somebody wanted to spend time with you during school breaks back in middle school. I realize how awkward it must have been when they wanted to walk with me, but I wouldn't talk to them, just sing. And then at work, when I had my first job at Wendy's lol! I was belting out "Lullaby In Birdland" by Ella Fitzgerald, singing as if nobody was there where the whole dining room could hear 😄.
@@mj6598 Yes, I have heard a lot of people who have had near death experiences and went to hell. The experiences they describe are all similar to each other, and equally as terrifying. Worse than I could ever imagine! If we think EARTH is bad, well it will look like heaven after a minute in hell. I am glad that Jesus could save you and show you the way. So many people glamorize the devil nowadays, wearing devil horns on their profile pictures and whatnot. This is one of the biggest reasons why I just avoid the general public unfortunately; while trying to show them all love the best way that I can. We are told to love all humanity, and I do; but I feel the need to protect myself at the same time.
@@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy absolutely. The devil doesn’t even try and hide anymore. When you become born again, God’s spirit will dwell in you. Love and joy will come naturally and demons will flee from you. But in order to be saved you MUST be born again. Please do me a favor and consider giving your life to Christ today; we live on a battlefield and I want to see you in heaven ❤️
As an autistic person, I appreciate seeing videos like yours aimed at helping "normies" understand us. I've trained myself to make eye contact but still have to consciously do it nonetheless. I have bad GAD and SAD and still have "melt-downs" at 45, and zone out so badly that I often wander off to "go to the bathroom" during work meetings. I didn't have jazz hands growing up, but I did shake my knee, and also wrapped my arm around my head constantly. Another is awkward gait - my cousin-in-law's wife, a disabilities teacher, told my wife she identified me as aspie within seconds when she met me based on the way I walked.
My high school principal came to me to let me know that I was an aspire. He was 96 years old and I was 63. He remembered my behaviors. And the fact that I was the only student in the school who was allowed to eat lunch in a local restaurant. I could not eat at the cafeteria and did not eat boxed lunches. I ate two burgers and french fries every day. Actually, when he told me everything just clicked and made sense. If you know of anyone let them know. I don't want anyone to have to wait 63 years like I did.
Same, I always hated eye contact. Especially as a kid in middle and high school. What helped me a lot was taking acting class. They taught me to look at the other person's forehead or nose instead so it seems like you look them in the eyes but not really. I hate it when people stare at me even now because it feels like their eyes are burning into me. But if I don't focus so much on their eyes it's not as bad. I have a pet peeve about people giving me ugly looks and staring at me. I hated the ugly judgemental looks even when i was a baby.
As a woman, if I don't mask, people treat me like I'm insane. If I mask a little, I'm just rude, lazy, and weird. If I mask a lot, I'm uncanny and people will actively avoid me like I might be a serial killer or about to abduct their children. So I've learned not to try too hard 🥲😐 Either way, there are people who don't want to be anywhere near me long enough to even find out who I am. Also, all visible triggers here are me except for the hand flapping. I stem a whole lot, but not that way.
I have ADHD and autism. Your comment about zoning out got me remembering my senior trip in high school to DC. Our group had a bus and all of us would get off at different sites to check out different landmarks. I got me a new book I was engrossed in and what ended up being an hour later looked up to stretch noticed that I was alone on the bus. There’s also the time I went t my favorite coffee shop and went to their second floor to read and ended up getting locked inside after they closed for the night.
Thanks for this. I have adhd (diagnosed in my 40s) and my 6 year daughter has many traits. She also flaps her hands a few dozen times daily, hops for hours on end (while flapping), has difficulty with eye contact when people talk with her, doesn’t respond to her name. She hyperfocuses many times daily. She’s also extremely conversational and a bright student, and seems to have typical adhd focus and hyperactive challenges. I’m reluctant to get a label put on her at this young age but she has been in for all the testing and the school doesn’t think her case is “extreme” enough for an IEP. I give her accommodations and awareness, and observing closely so I can intercede w professional help if she experiences additional challenges. Hopefully I am doing the right things. I just watched your Asperger vs autism vid from 3 years ago and she definitely seems to be on the asp side.
She absolutely sounds like one of us,the problem is the diagnostic sexism. Boys just have to be good at electronics or line up cars and bam they get a diagnosis, but girls who present differently can have countless of obvious signs and still just get dismissed. Although people are getting better at recognising that girls and boys are different and therefore need to be assessed differently, there are many who have not developed that understanding and insight yet and their diagnostic process is like that from 30 years ago .if you can get your daughter seen by someone a bit more modern and updated, the results might be different.
@@The_miIk same! Honestly it would have helped so much in the rest of school as I have struggled a lot in certain areas of school and just having an earlier recognition of why would have helped me a lot
@@The_miIk Thank you, I can see I need to educate myself more on this. The school knows she is ADHD because our doctor wrote it on her yearly record that is sent to the school. But now I’m thinking she is on the spectrum. Yet whatever testing the school did shows she is not “extreme” enough.
I rock back and forth, especially when I’m in church and standing. I used to wiggle my foot or bounce my leg, but that wasn’t so cool to do in a professional setting, so I learned to curl my toes repeatedly instead. And I HATE to do telephone calls. Because of my work, I had to train myself to maintain eye contact as a communication technique. By 3 pm, my brain was exhausted from working so hard on my social skills, and I wasn’t worth a hoot after that. Now, I just want to be a hermit.😄 Makes my extended family crazy!
I hear you on the hermitage. Family just doesn’t understand why I don’t rush out if they pull up. I’d rather have a butt kicking than to have company. And It’s not due to being a hoarder or having a messy place . I’m actually a neat freak. I just hate the show I have to put on. I don’t enjoy it. Other people do. I simply don’t. But I also don’t hate the people. I just don’t enjoy the interest
Years ago I learned to wrap one leg around the other while sitting, and also cross my arms tightly. People think this is a defensive posture in body language, but I adopted it to stop leg bouncing and arm movements that girls weren't supposed to do. It became a way of self stimming. I'm now relearning to bounce my leg and that feels better, freer.
As a person with autism, I realized that I focus on people’s mouth rather than eyes much more. I even do this what watching someone on a video or tv. Interestingly, long before I had any clue that I had autism when I would see new born babies or even family members, others would comment about how they looked alike based on their eyes, but I would always see similarities in their mouth/jaw.
I have auditory processing problems. "I watch people's mouths because it helps me 'heart better. Common with ADD. Something you might want to look into.
@@mickiedownend7845 Same. I have ADHD and I'll sometimes be listening to someone talk and a syllable or even sometimes a short word will suddenly turn to gibberish in the middle of a sentence. It's completely random and sporadic, though I find the more clearly and enunciated a person speaks and also the less background noise there is, the less likely it is to happen (but still not impossible). But if I'm watching their mouth, I can often mentally "fill in" what the lost word was supposed to be a lot faster. Otherwise, in the time it takes to figure out the missing word, I'll miss the next word... and then the next, and it's just a cascade effect that makes me completely lose track of what's being said. I'm not 100% sure, but I've conjectured it has something to do with a part of the auditory system that filters out background noise from speech. Normally, even in a noisy environment, if you focus on someone speaking you can make out what they're saying because your brain will filter out the background noise. I think my brain gets a bit overzealous with the filter and it will more often accidentally filter out parts of the speech I'm actually _trying_ to hear as if it were background noise. This causes a part of what's said to suddenly fade to unintelligible background noise in a similar way to how the visual system "ignores" your nose which is *always* in your visual field or your blind spots which just sort of get "fixed in post" in the optic center of the brain. That's why, even with one eye closed, you don't see a "hole" in your vision where your blind spot is; the brain just "assumes" what's "supposed" to be there and puts it there.
Thank you. I've had a sudden inheritance of family, and the son is on the spectrum enough to have medical disability, but he's pretty high-functioning. Has that brilliance, wants to create but doesn't know how. It feels enough like me that we've connected, and I find myself looking inward and recognizing my own stimming behaviors. And I have trained to be social, It's a good connection to have with a new family member.
Thank you for sharing this. I am 66 and have 4 of the 5 signs you discussed. It's nice to think there is actually a reason for my so-called "weird" behavior. I have learned to look people in the eye (briefly) and interact in absolutely excruciating retail positions, but I don't think I can ever change.
Not necessarily true about eye-contact. I can stare Superman lasers through anybody. My dad was very strict about looking people, especially other men, in the eye when they're speaking to you or you're speaking to them - that it was polite to do so. Let's just say I unnerved a LOT of teachers and even family members with my stare. I don't think even Clint Eastwood could take me in a staring contest.😂
Did not realise I'm autistic until recently, it is so rewarding and helpful to start learning about it. Previously I'd been hyperfocused on learning to live with recent sight loss, and coming to terms with a recent personality disorder diagnosis. I didn't realise until you were talking about it that I was using my ASD 'tuning in' (my alternative to 'zoning out') as a way to kind of make up for the change in visual information. It got so frustrating to be interrupted from it, because it takes time to re-establish that focus..
I'm glad I found your channel ❤ I didn't know that I was on the spectrum until my daughter and one of my grandchildren were diagnosed and I saw myself in them. I finally know where I belong. Thank you ❤
The love sounds/ attracted to sounds eg music, noise, crying etc. Sounds nearly always captivates them. Also, they flip their heads from side to side most times that they're lying down in the supine position
When my brother and I were really young, my mom had him tested to see if he had hearing problems because he would get so zoned in on things. The audiologist told my mom that it wasn't his hearing but probably neurological. That encounter led to my brother being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 4. The tools my mom was taught and support my mom got for my brother also helped my mom cope with my issues even though I wasn't diagnosed with autism or anything else as a kid. Mom was told that I was just shy, quiet, or sensitive when she brought up my issues to our doctors. I am shy (introvert), quiet (situational mutism), and sensitive (sensory processing disorder). I'm 5 for 5 on the physical manifestations that you listed in this video although I bounce more than I rock. I tend to bounce on the balls of my feet and pace when I'm agitated (good or bad cause). Push me too far on that trigger and you will see me either meltdown or shut down.
This is what I need and want to share: When I was in 3rd grade I was tested for hearing impairment - since I was so young I don't really understand the conclusions they came to but I was instead placed in a "gifted and talented program" - from that point on I think I lost a lot of who I really was. Thank you for sharing. I'm 47, on disability for depression and fibromyalgia & have been trying to find myself for the last 15 years.
Thank you for sharing. I am on disability for fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome/ M.E., and previously depression. I don't have autism, but my symptoms of sensory sensitiviy are amped up, and light, etc., gives me a stronger headache, can make me vomit. It must be difficult to tell what experience is on the autistic spectrum, and what is fibromyalgia.
I also have alphabet soup. As a child I tried to hide my stimming because I knew how it looked but I developed a full body twitch and my anxiety was through the roof. Life go so much easier when I cut back on the masking and started stimming. Flappy is happy!
Nailed it with this video, I have ASD and anxiety is definitely something that goes hand in hand with it especially social wise. I tend to rock a lot in class and at home when I'm relaxing. Usually a sign that I have bit of energy that I need to get rid of. Zoning out is the fun one, someone could be talking and then I don't hear half the conversation that was going on so they have to repeat it. Lucky for me, all of my mates accept I zone out and then 9 times out of 10 I'll be explaining the main reason why I do it (especially when I have music lyrics in my head). Another thing I tend to do is, if someone asks me a question, I will literally zone out as an attempt to get the words in the right order so it makes sense to them. My mates tend to describe as "the gears turning" cause for a solid 5 minutes i'm completely somewhere else thinking about what to say and how to say it. Love your videos, they are so inspiring and educational, really helped my class understand why I was behaving a certain way in certain environments.
I remember school days, lunchroom conversations that I totally missed because I was thinking how to frame my contribution to the previous topic. Aarrgghhh!!!
Ah yes, the "gears turning" while selecting words and arranging them so they make sense when I say them out loud. And sometimes my mouth still doesn't get the message straight, when, "Sorry. My brain to mouth connection isn't working at the moment. Lemme try that again."
I watch your videos to help me with understanding my son. When he was smaller he would have meltdowns sometimes in public and would be frustrating as a parent when would feel judged that people would think he was throwing a temper tantrum. When in reality he just needed to be removed from the situation until he could then recover in peace. It's difficult at times as a parent because it's not visible so no he's not being a brat. He can't help it when he gets frustrated and anxious at times.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Since brats are more common nowadays it’s harder for people to be sympathetic. All I can say is to focus on your son when he’s in that mode, and sit/be by him until you’re able to remove him. If you haven’t got any already, get him some stim toys and find his favorite
I have always walked funny (walking on the front pads of my feet instead of landing on my heels). People say that I walk like a ballerina, and/or look timid.
@@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy Yeah same, I just turned 18 recently and it's just a habit I have. Not sure why I do it but I've done it for years and people have called me out on it haha.
I'm more dyspraxic than on the autism spectrum and in fact many clinicians I've visited outright denied that I'm anywhere on the autism spectrum while some have opined that I'm only marginally on the spectrum. However many of these traits you describe are ones that I relate to 100% Some were more the case when I was younger but many are still present in me at 47. This is especially true with many of the stimming behaviors like rocking and hand flapping. I still zone out but have learned to control this while conversing with others. I can often tell a neurodivergent individual just by looking at them often with their postures and sort of how the digits are positioned while holding their hands in certain positions. But this might be more the case with something like dyspraxia or autism where psychomotor impairments can manifest. Some people have told me that they kinda knew something was different about me even before revealing this to them. Excellent video! Thanks for sharing your content!
Definitely agree with the zoning in thing, I love to bring small things, coins and rocks, preferably shiny, to fidget with and be amazed by. I also keep picking at my skin around the fingertips and nails, destroying it while feeling the irregularities
I've just come across your channel and I love it! thanks for the information! i'm a private teacher and for some reason I seem to have "attracted" many young children which totally fit your description. i'm not diagnosing anyone by the way, I'm just very curious and doing some research in order to help them as much as I can! I can sense their loneliness at times and it is heart breaking. I hope I manage to help in some way, they seem to enjoy my company even though it's hard for them to express it in a conventional way....thanks again!!
I would zone out a lot during college lectures and conversations with other and people thought I was just rude or too dumb to follow along. This is why I prefer to be alone so that i can save myself and the people around me the time and trouble.
I'm sitting here rocking and rubbing my hand exactly like you are as I'm watching this. My mother was a hand flapper, but as a child her family were encouraged to slap her hands when ever she started to do it. So, when ever she got stressed as an adult she would protect her hands.
I have everything except for the flapping hands, but i'm not so happy either. I just found out that i have autism, a month ago and i'm almost 45 yrs old. This have been such a long and terrible journey, i haven't had anyone to talk to or even trying to understand me. But it may be because of my family situation, my mom was an addict and she had munchausen syndrome. So she gave me some of her prescription medicine, like opiates and barbiturates, so i became a addict myself at a very young age, only 13 yrs old. I think everyone around me only have seen the addict in me!? But i have been sober since April 2019 😊 I do have a lot's of problems with my asperger, i don't know how to handle myself? The only thing i do is to sit inside and do stuff on my phone or computer, it's not healthy at all, how do i break this pattern? Thank you for your channel. I'm sorry for my bad english, i'm from Sweden. Have a great weekend.
Yes it is very hard to get diagnose late. My life has been one big rollercoaster ride with ups and downs until I finally underskrifter why. I didn't know myself before. But now I am stuck at lowest income in Denmark. Not funny in the long run. But I guess it is better than some other countries. How is it in Sweden? I have lived a year in ljusdal 20 years ago when I had a supporter job that was very stressful. I didn't know that it wasn't for me then. So it was very hard and I left after 10 months.
I used to break the couch springs from bouncing. My parents would try to get me to stop, but I couldn't. My mom finally got me alittle rocking chair with some s and h green stamps. I rocked side to side every night, laying in bed. I always did what my parents called bad habits. The hand stuff you talked about. I'm 61 now and smoked pot every since I tried it. I was able to talk to people and even somewhat sit still. It's legal here, finally, so I don't have to be a criminal anymore to feel good.
I was diagnosed in my 40's, I'm 56 now. Still flap my hands (when excited/nervous/anxious), rocking, ended in my teens. CBT, gave me tools to deal with eyecontact and social anxiety. Still dealing with depressions. Remember, brothers & sisters: Fly that " freakflag" high 🤪✊️🥰
Rotating sounds like a fan or just a coin rolling over a floor are often able to snap autistic kids out of their zoning into something. Roll a coin out of their sight or turn on a fan or ventilator on and they'll immediately break concentration and focus on this "rotating" auditory stimulus. I've done this three times with very young kids that were not yet diagnosed but I had my suspicions. One I asked his father if he's autistic and he was baffled and asked why I thought so because they were in the middle of a diagnosis period. I've also done this with adults that I know are on the spectrum and it almost always works on them too.
I am self diagnosed autistic. I am sure I have masked a lot of my physical traits since being a teenager out of the need to fit in, so the outside world me has been a mask. I now associate a lot of my physical traits as autistic behaviours and take comfort from this. Feels more ok to do this now. At home I hyper fixate a lot on numbers and budgeting, people and I like to tell people a lot of information on my topics of interest. I do also need lots of time to zone out on my own and block out the world. I have social anxiety and feel very on edge and exposed in social events, as if spiders are crawling over me! Good to relate on here thank you💜
3/5 and I was diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago. Thanks for the video. I don’t know if this is counted as rocking but I’ll sway side to side when standing. Like when waiting or during public speaking.
I run my own electrical business as I have for 13 years, during the pandemic I felt that I could not enter into peoples houses anymore, anybody who presented me with any stress or challenge I would immediately explode that friendship or relationship. My business is in shambles, after a successful run before the pandemic, sure there were a few social problems but for me I’m in credibly social and positive for the most part, I held on to hope for as long as I could and lost it during the pandemic. I honestly think hope is what keeps somebody like me on track
My wife multi masters and a PhD and now has dementia. Previously she has been a leader and has done hospital turn arounds / startups etc. Obviously, she has been a been at Sr. Leadership level. Because her brain has parts have died off, she has lost some control. She DOES NOT rock but counts everything and can create, self imposed, stress levels where she becomes almost non functional. Your youtube got me thinking. Intresting when she was going to school in one of 3 masters, I noticed that she wanted to be a 4.0 (straight A's) then top of the class, last she wanted to go through an entire degree with out missing any questions. She missed just 3 points in a full masters. Do not know if she was just driven or had other issues. Thank you, for your effort You made me think!!!!
I find it interesting watching all the you tube videos on Autism stating we are effected by noise yet and are have heightened senses but yet they make the videos with either music in the background like this video or sone sort of irritating noise so that I can’t hear or pay attention to what they are saying! I’m 58 this year and realize my entire family has autism including my x husband! We really are like so irritating to each other! Ones tapping and tapping noise bugs the other person, one’s taking so loud yet effecting another person, melt downs are insane! Chaotic life! I was diagnosed ADHD anxiety disorder and OCD but took a test and realized I’m autistic scored very high on the RAAD test online!
Lack of a pain response even with obvious injury. Also, no response to cold water or a positive response. Inability to change clothes and wearing the same clothes even after a shower. It's obvious to see these in your family or friends if you watch and they exhibit them. Thanks! Great video.
Hubs rocks the most when he's losing at video games. It is very noticable. His hands will tremble too sometimes. He also bites his nails until they bleed and gets bloody prints on our wood floor...all his nails are worn down to the finger/toe and beyond. He has only been diagnosed with adhd though and ptsd from childhood trauma, he sometimes would get manic bipolar traits too. His medication I nagged and pleaded and begged him to finally see a therapist to get has really helped his sleep and manic highs and lows once they got the mix right.
I taught myself to look people in the eyes when I was very young after reading books on body language. Only problem is that I maintain eye-contact for too long. I found this out reading my Autism diagnosis report were the diagnosing Psychologist stated "Maintains eye-contact were I feel uncomfortable". I being the Psychologist.
I just recently found out that I'm autistic. I'm 58 and never had a clue. I don't really have any of these behaviors, at least not to the extremes that you talk about here. Obviously I'm high functioning. Since discovering that I am autistic, I have also discovered that all 4 of my children are also autistic. I'm discovering things about my personality traits that are signs of being autistic that I never knew. Makes sense actually, my different way of thinking always put me in the gifted category, but could never understand why I had so much trouble with "traditional" learning methods. It all makes sense now!
I was a serious nail biter until I started working in construction. Then my hands were so dirty I didn't want them near my mouth. Eventually I was able to stop that completely.
Stemming for many adults is what we could get away with as a kid or what we can get away with now. Lots of people do rhythmic movements (foot tapping, nail drumming, etc) when they're anxious, but the people who do it ALL THE TIME are really more the signal. Eye contact is a weird one for me. I wasn't allowed to look at my father because he took it as a 'challenge' and would send me flying across the room. But my mother insisted I look at her, so I did. Teachers got mad when I didn't, then got mad because apparently when I did look at them, I was somehow doing it wrong. When I was young, I did have a preference for not looking at people, but I figured out that nobody likes that, so I look. But I've been told that I look way too intently at people when they're speaking. That's because I'm really listening, studying their face and body language, hearing the inflections in their tone, and desperately trying to understand the totality of what they're trying to communicate. Unless people know me really well, they take it badly and I don't know how to fix it. My daughter is the only person who understands that none of it is natural or instinctive or automatic for me. I don't 'feel' intent with body language and tone to go with the words. I have to consciously interpret those things just like I do words. I simply don't have the cognitive ability to concentrate that damn hard AND get my own body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions right, too. This has gotten me in trouble for 'flipping.' When I'm listening, I'm this slightly scowling, intently starring listener. Then when it's my turn to speak, I brighten up, smile, relax and chatter. Then I go into listening mode and all that goes away. Obviously I had no idea what I was doing until someone pointed it out to me. (All of those years of thinking I was doing okay and it turns out I was messing up badly. shameshameshame) A lot of the natural tendencies for autistic people get horrible reactions from normies. This trains autistics to desperately try to adapt and that leads to so many more problems. This is where people end up labeling others as 'weird' and calling it a day. I'd suggest that, if you're interacting with someone who's 'weird' or 'off', start to poke a bit and see if the weirdness is really maladaptive attempts to TRY to do things 'right.' In my situation, the more comfortable I am with someone, the more the typical autistic traits will appear. I've got a very small circle and they see it all. I do stop making eye contact because it's exhausting and with people who get me, I don't have to. I'd never do that with an acquaintance.
I don't know how this will sound, but I'm gonna shoot anyway... maybe you can try a small experiment? Use a very mild form of distraction, nothing to big or boisterous so that you cannot pay some attention, like sunflower seeds to munch while you chat, looking down often to split seeds but stay in the conversation. For occasions when snacking is just not appropriate, keep a paper clip in your pocket to fiddle with. Might help to relax that gaze a bit?
My solution to the eye contact was to look when they weren't and just break away when they do. In my mind that counted. If i hold for a few seconds first, it's never on their eyes. With enough space between us, o could be talking to that tree behind them. Closer, and I'm usually focused on eyebrows or something like that.
I'm loving these videos to help me understand more of my own life. Like many in the comments here the anxiety and masking we learned when young are still with us when older. It's tough man.... I'm still at the start of my journey to better health, and I'm glad to be on the path. It's tough though.
May I suggest , folks look into AUDIO PROCESSING DISORDER lots of folks with ADHD and autism spectrum tend to have this,and it can be corrected, there's a Ted talk on it.
I always thought it was called zoning out because you are zoning out of the current social situation but I think I'm going to start calling it zoning in now because that feels like a more positive way to express it 😊
I'd never really thought of the usually-gentle rocking I often do as a diagnostic trait (I would assume it's less annoying to others nearby than the many people - including NTs? - who tap fingers or toes or jiggle a leg restlessly), until my sister pointed out that I appeared to be on the Spectrum, with examples. However, I did always realize that people would think it weird if I did in public what I allow myself in private, namely, when I'm reading, and it gets intense (be it exciting OR upsetting), the speed and amplitude of both my rocking and my random humming (rarely an actual song, and very hard to keep "stopped" once started) tend to ramp up quite a bit. Definitely noticeable stimming, now that I have the word for it! (Sorry for the run-on, parenthetical sentences. Hopefully this is intelligible anyway.)
I have Dyslexia, Dyscalculia (Dyslexia for numbers) and Dyspraxia (a hand eye motor coordination issue) if theres a Dys out there I've probably got a touch of it at least
Great show, I love it. FYI, flapping is also something taught to actors as a de-stressing technique. We see athletes, particularly runners do it too. Also, there are cultures, such as mine, which feature less direct eye contact. Irish speakers often look away speaking Irish, because the language is very sensory, for example, we don't say, I am happy, we say 'I have happiness on me.' It is common for us to close our eyes speaking lines like this, so as you can imagine, Irish students studying abroad can face suggestions of autism when it's really a cultural thing. But I agree with you, it is about all of these features regularly presenting in the one individual that could be an indicator.
We had our daughter's hearing tested when she was young. She hardly ever responded to her name. Also when she was being assessed for asd the doctors were very interested in her birthmark. When asked they said there's some sort of connection with autism and birthmarks. Don't know how common this is.
I don't flap my hands when I'm happy. I do it during meltdowns to soothe myself as much as possible. It doesn't stop the meltdown, but it makes it less uncomfortable. I will often rock either front to back or side to side. A lot of it depends on where I am and which movement is easier to do in that situation. Zoning in ... My husband has said more than once that he's been talking to me for 20 minutes and I don't respond at all when I'm vibing with whatever tv show or project i'm in. I just disappear into things mentally and lose all focus on anything that isn't that thing. But he does it too, so he doesn't have a lot of room to complain.
My stemming is trying to fold, lift and push the creases in my right pant leg back and forth when I am sitting. I do it so much I have worn holes on the right thigh of each and every pair of long pants I have ever owned. Been doing it all my life, it wasn't until about 5 years ago I learned I was on the spectrum. Only recently did I realize I was stemming.
Thank you for all you videos. They are really useful. My son has just been diagnosed (4 years old) you're really helping us understand the why he thinks.
They didn't know all this when I was a kid and I had to learn to mask to fit in. I'm just now learning I've been on the spectrum. It really helps to know and I can stop wondering what personality disorder I have. I think it's easy to end up with a mental illness label rather than an autism diagnosis. Thanks for bringing awareness.
Hello Dan! I love your podcast. I am neurotypical but friends with aspies and I love learning ways to better understand the ways of perceiving the world. It is an amazing world. As a suggestion for future podcasts, could you talk about examples of do's and don'ts of communication. For example: conversation back and forth that starts becoming an argument. what to do to stay a conversation and if it did become an argument, how to de-escalate. I would like to learn not just the differences of communication and perceiving the information but also, how to avoid making mistakes that can lead to an argument and if I made a mistake, how can I safely mitigate the impact I caused. thank you in advance for the consideration. Super helpful. Much love! Peace!
According to Wikipedia, here's what Hans Asperger came up with in describing those who had the syndrome named after him: "...struggled to form friendships, did not understand others' gestures or feelings, engaged in one-sided conversations about their favourite interests, and were clumsy." What do you make of that?
That’s how I think about it constantly. It’s amazing to me that I could know enough was wrong to insist on seeing therapists about possible adhd, and it wasn’t super ducking obvious to them I was autistic.
The eye contact thing was hard to work on, but after years of work, I can now speak to someone directly. I've got the hyper focusing, and I also rub my fingers into my hand like flick my fingers around into my palm and other fingers. Imagine feeling like you have something stuck under your nails and u want it out, but there isn't actually anything there.
4:23
if u also have ADHD and cant help but want to move to another video because its taking too long to watch the signs 4:23 is when he starts talking about the signs
I watched it at 1.75 speed, lol.
Omg, literally half the video talking about who knows what (I'm not watching that, thanks a lot, by the way). Hate when they don't go straight to the point.
you are a legend thanks
Thank you 😊
Thx
5 signs (list starts at 4:30);
1) rocking/stemming
2) hand flapping/flopping
3) eye contact
4) anxiety
5) zoning out
Hahaha yeah me but no autism (they suspect so though, but it does not impair my life if so) ADHD however, yes!
Cheers. The guy is with good intentions but ffs 4.5m before he got to a point.
Blah blah blah blah blah (I zone out) oh thanks for saving me with a summary!!
As an Autistic person the comment that has given me the list is always the first thing that I look for 😊
@@LaAerial OMG yes!
My mother was good at making me stop rocking or fidgeting in any way she could see. I had a meltdown a few months back and when I let him my husband snuggled me and started rocking us. Omg it was dual stimming and oxytocin is awesome. It feels natural to rock when I'm getting stressed. I still look to see if people notice.
The only people who really notice, are others like us. Sometimes, we stare because we can't believe we're not alone.
I can relate ,I never really had people around and 1-0-1 contact with anyone who had the role of primary caretakers, I was just sort of there .But when my husband squishes me during a meltdown that's the one thing that works I think that it's the feel good hormones.Both my husband and I rock ,he hasn't been diagnosed though
Mine too. 😔
That's sweet. You have a good husband.
@@rachelthompson7487 he is incredibly sweet but didn't see me struggling this morning and I couldn't get my voice to work so wee fun sleepy & mutism first thing. Feeling like a cortisol slave at the moment.
I am not autistic, but my best friend is. I enjoy watching these so i can be a better friend and understand. Been best friends for nearly 15 years and she is just finding out she is autistic. I picked up on most of this without knowing she was on the spectrum. Understanding in this way has really helped our friendship and I love that she feels comfortable to remove her mask around me.
U are an awesome friend 🤘🏻❤️
💛
You're an amazing person.
Hah weird, I’m basically in the same boat over here
You are a dream friend, I love this you are an awesome person and support system for your best friend, AMAZING ❤❤❤❤
I had two co-workers who guessed I was autistic before I was even diagnosed, because I have a tendency to zone out A LOT. One of them had an autistic son and the other had an autistic nephew, and they recognized some of the traits.
thanks
I have autism and I am not afraid to say it. I have every sign that was said in the video. A lot of smart people who you may not think of are autistic. That doesn't mean that mean that they are dumb in any way. It just means that they learn differently.
How were you diagnosed. I think I'm.....something, maybe autism.
@@joebonomono I Googled psychologists in my area with experience regarding adult autism and testing for it. I called and arranged to get tested, and that's how I got my diagnosis.
@@tangerinefizz11 Thank you. I started trying to see a psychologist in September through the VA, I've gotten nowhere with them, all they do is cancel appointments and reschedule weeks down the road. I'm going to have figure out a different route and wanted to know what you did. Thank you.
One type of anxiety that is often overlooked is sensory anxiety. It’s anxiety caused by the pain of sensory overload that we experience a lot.
This makes sense!!
Most cats have this problem too. If you pet them too much, they can freak out. It's sensory overload for them.
main reason I don't go out in public much is cuz y'all are loud AF
Oh wow! I didn’t know this
I had that when I went to animation school. The classrooms were horrible, so loud and bright (my light sensitivity is the worst, I can't go outside in sunlight), I started getting anxiety about going and eventually dropped out because none of the accommodations I was promised were being given to me
I like to say that we flap because we lack tails to wag, and if someone mentions my lack of eye contact I say I'd rather listen to their words than their eyes. Also sensory discrepancy: harder to define but we each have some senses which are hyper- and some that are hypo. We'll both at once, but for each of us it'll be different senses which are strong/weak.
I love this: "because we lack tails to wag." 🤗 Anyone who has seen a happy excited dog can relate to this.
Edit/add-on: A Big "Definitely Yes" to the Hypersensitivity topic.
I don't have the greatest intution about behaviours and actions, but I'm very good at noticing what people say and how they say it.
Im so going to use " id rather listen to their words than their eyes. "
My husband gets the hand flaps when he gets especially excited about something. I call them his "happy-flappies". 😊
Yeah i have an issue with hearing all the background noise really loud where someone talking to me will get drowned out
I was diagnosed autistic six days ago (after a two and a half years waiting list) at 47 years old. My understanding of what autism is was so off I didn’t know who I was until I started to research.
I’m incredibly good at building rapport with people because I parrot them! Something I can’t keep up indefinitely so never ends well. But mirroring and masking are a huge part of being female and autistic. And why we fall through the net when it comes to being diagnosed.
Hi Zoe Bowler. Well done for managing to get your Autism diagnosis because sometimes that can be a battle in itself.
Now you have an actual diagnosis does it change the way you view autism or for example do you feel more at peace/ ease with yourself because of the diagnosis.
Sorry, I hope I've phrased that question in the correct way. X
@@carolinebedford9836 it’s changed my life! Before I was “depressed….anxious had social anxiety” all things I thought I had to fight to overcome. I see everything so differently now. I am who and what I am so I’ve accepted all those things as just part of me. I try to set boundaries taking my autism into account now without feeling too guilty. That’s made a huge difference to my mental wellbeing. I’m happy to answer any questions you have xx
Pretty sure plenty of men mimic and mask as well. I used to be a huge mimic until at least my late 30s. Sorry, that's my name for it, but mirroring
@@nicholasjh1 that’s definitely true. My son copes in the same way. X
Sadly, we are just in that generation that were grown when they finally realized there was a spectrum & yes, female autistics exist. My issues caught up to me all at once at 43. Rendered me disabled because of all the physical symptoms from sensory overload (and likely a lifetime of not knowing) kept me from gainful employment. 10 years later, I'm still learning, but knowing I just cannot be around crowds, noise out of my control has helped me adjust my life so I'm not in the restroom all day.
My son was diagnosed as severely autistic 27 years ago. He never did rock or hand-flap. He does eye contact but not as much as some of us. He might zone out a bit & certain things cause a bit of anxiety but rarely. He has a great sense of humor and loves being around people, but doesn't always understand social clues. I feel so blessed & wouldn't trade him for the world. God bless you all
Sounds like he was misdiagnosed. Doesn't appear to have any symptoms.
@@ChatGPT1111not necessarily. Autism doesn't present the same in everyone.
So didn't stim, rarely zones out, makes eye contact, is very social with a good sense of humour and doesn't have any social anxiety. What makes him "severely" autistic? He has trouble with social clues, but that's not always due to autism, not if most of the other signs aren't there. I wasn't even aware there was a "severe" category. High functioning and low functioning, yes (and neither describes the extent of the difficulties experienced. As an autistic comedian said, "I'm classed as high functioning, which makes people think I function highly. I don't".). I think I'd be wary of a misdiagnosis (but I'm totally aware that I only know a few of the facts, hence the, probably intrusive, questions....)
@0dd0ne I didn't know that external symptoms are what make autism...those are just symptoms of what's going on inside the brain;-) Which I'm sure people can handle differently.
@ChatGPT1111 - He was correctly diagnosed. Believe me, as I've been studying autism for almost 3 decades now. But everyone on the spectrum is different and unique in their own ways. I volunteered in his classrooms for 13 years, so I saw the vast differences. The team of 8 medical professionals at a large-city children's hospital who diagnosed him as "Severely Autistic" on their scale left us with little to no hope for him or his future. He had zero speech until almost 5 years old and very little understanding of things until 7 years old, and potty-trained at 8 years old. Thanks to the good Lord and older, wiser mentors in our lives, and a couple of sweet teachers, he is a loving, giving young man and wouldn't trade him for the world! He may never be a "professional" in the eyes of the world but he truly cares about people and I think that's important. I feel unworthy and so blessed to be his mom.
Rocking back and forth is actually backed up by neuroscience as well. The motion causes cerebrospinal fluid to wash over the brain, which has a calming effect.
Maybe the reason rocking chairs are soothing.
@@kathiarledge9275 whoa! I bet you’re right! Could be the same for rocking babies.
@@kathiarledge9275I have always loved rocking chairs so much
Does the hand-flapping form of stimming also send cerebrospinal fluid over the brain?
This video should be required to be watched by all teachers, police, employers, etc.
I love your channel! I have Asperger's and the anxiety is tough. But, most specifically, the social anxiety is extremely hard for me to cope with. I was different as a child and I was bullied and teased mercilessly because of it. Unfortunately, that stuff can often follow a person for the rest of their lives and I can say that from experience. The fear of being bullied, the low self-esteem, the hyper vigilance is all still with me as an adult. When I'm in a social setting and the anxiety starts it grows in intensity until I'm out of the situation. The signs become painfully obvious and are almost impossible to cover up. I tremble - not just my hands but my entire body will tremble to the point where my legs are noticably shaking. I have a hard time breathing so it's hard to get the words out when I try to talk. My eyes have always been expressive of whatever I'm feeling and I know that people can see the fear in my eyes despite my efforts to hide it. People can be cruel. Even adults treat people who are different poorly.
Thank you for mentioning it. I don't feel so alone.
I'm not saying this as a cure but maybe some degree of help. When you are in a social environment the anxiety comes from over thinking? Over stimulation? When you are in a social situation a person should be almost fully in their senses and their observations and not in their heads. You know what I mean? You or I when we get anxiety it is because we approach the situation from a self centered situation when we should almost be in a self forgetting situation. Like. When I used to be In public i would think about how what i do or say makes people view me. When i would do that i would then think ... what is the correct thing to do to be viewed or liked. So you are trying to read others and mold yourself to get the correct results. Opposed to this is going into the situation and paying full calm attention to everyone and everything else. Forget personal gain and loss. Be as weird as you are but care for and about others. Care about listening to them and living them and not self gain and loss. If they hate you accept it is not you that cause the hate but the hate that us in them that is expressed. Love others and treat them lovingly and accept all negative that comes your way as a path to greater inner strength. I know it seems new agey but I mean it literally. You cN start this by getting to your base calm state. Reduce all stimuli to the point where you are at max self comfort. Walk in nature or meditate concentrate on breath. You know your best state. Sink into this and consciously add stimulation slowly and deliberate and see where you lose your center. You can better this.
Thank you my friend, completely familiar, bullying can follow you from job to job to job, and even some "decent" people can be relentlessly cruel, they really can't stand us being different. I try to be relentlessly positive, but we've gotta educate people about our differences. I'm devoting the rest of my life to running for public office as an independent because I'm so sick of the violence and bullying I endured as a child. By Jove I'll show people how the world looks through our eyes! Best wishes my friend, I find plenty of outdoors activities can really help us Aspies/Autistic people. I bought a tiny yacht which brings me great joy, I recommend getting outdoors as often as possible... Cheerio! 😎
I was bullied as a child and even sometimes as an adult because of the hand-flapping thing, which I'm not usually consciously aware of. I also shiver sometimes because of anxiety and invariably people ask "Are you feeling cold?" One problem is that a lot of people still think that "autistic people" are all just like Rain Man, and if you're intelligent, educated and can live independently, then you can't possibly be autistic.
Story of my life. I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but Jesus can change your life. I’m not talking about going to church, most of them don’t even worship the real Jesus. They’re hypocrites.
I had a near death experience and witnessed the other side. Demons are real and so are angels. I realized it’s not people that are evil, but the demons that possess them are. Those people that bullied you were manifesting.
Jesus saved me from my heart attack, healed my vision+sense of smell, and gave me the Holy Spirit. I don’t understand how people live without it.
I know it sounds crazy but all the work was done for you on the cross. You can have life more abundantly on earth as well as eternal life by accepting it through faith. Once you’re born again, life will get so much better. Please let me know if you have any questions, you are loved more than you could ever imagine ❤️
In some social situations I kinda go mute and in public I’ve noticed myself trembling so bad and I can’t control it. My teeth will be chattering and my legs all wobbly lol
I started out with all of these but was punished for them at school, so taught myself to stop or mask everything at just age 3. Now I'm in my 30s, I rock all the time at home, music or not, I rock when I meditate too, it's a really nice experience. I'm not diagnosed but most of my friends are, and we have mutual understanding of our needs and behaviuors, subtle or not, and enjoy our shared experiences and shared understanding of them. It's a much safer space to live in than how I grew up. Awareness is everything
I found out in 2016 at 50 that I have high functioning autism. I'll be 56 on June 15th this year. I flap and stim like many people to help regulate myself. I also have vocal stims and stim on my stuff. I'm able to live by myself and buy my own groceries and personal things. I can get around the area by bus by myself. For places not near me, I get rides from my sister or a family friend.
Couldn’t agree more ❤ so glad you found your people. I found mine too and it completely changed my life. Literally all of my friends and all the people on my community are ND
Same
@@snk-bp6fe Thank you
Herbs DOC AYALO AUTISM
I am 68 and just forced into retirement as a nurse because of falls. As I was filing away that paperwork, I reviewed a “write-up”, one of the issues that I was required to correct was “consistently make eye contact”. Although I blamed my life long history of falls with the need to constantly look at the floor, I am starting to suspect it may have also been an excuse to not HAVE to make eye contact.
Lifelong faller, bumping myself all over, stubbed toes so bad.
Autism is real, many people now days use it for an excuse to not use self discipline, live life with integrity , honesty , now days people are taught to have an issue of some kind,,,it's not my fault,,, I can't help it,,,poor me,,, society promotes disabilities now days
One characteristic that I've noticed are flushed cheeks, as if the person looks like they're blushing all the time. It happens to me when I have anxiety attacks, or when I'm talking about something I'm really passionate about.
And it has to do with blood sugar levels that tends to be an effect for people on the spectrum, as well as gastrointestinal issues
In all the research I've done, I've never heard of blood sugar and gastrointestinal issues being an autistic *thing*. Where did you find this out?
& then people say "your face is red" or "are you okay" or something like that....which makes it harder. Gah
Warning: the comment above, about the doctor and ADHD, may be a scam. The channel is just spamming this information. It seems like a variation on the crypto investment scam.
Thinking at 46 I am on the spectrum. 4th daughter missed several times & finally DX at 16 last year. I have had GI issues & low blood sugar issues all my life too.
I think I had my "stimming" behavior trained out of me when I was little. I have vague memories of being told very often to sit still. I cannot sit still if I hear music, however. I physically can’t stop myself from moving in time with the music. I was born in the 1960s when most people knew very little about autism and I wasn’t diagnosed as being on the spectrum until I was 53, so my parents had no idea why I behaved the way I did. Other than the stimming thing, I fit the other three behaviors on your list completely.
Is an aversion to being touched a universal thing among people with ASD? I hate being touched. Always have. Hugs are extremely uncomfortable and I actually get anxious if I know I’m going to have to hug someone or even shake hands. Maybe that’s not true for everyone on the spectrum and therefore not a good indicator of whether someone has ASD, but it feels to me like it would be a good way to spot someone.
Not everyone has an aversion to being touched but it is a sensitivity that some people have. Other people might need excessive stimulation of one kind or another.
I love to be hugged and touched. I actually need hugs and cuddles. I am aware that not many people are that way though, and unless I am close with someone, I will ask first. I also have no territorial bubble, though I do let people know this, and tell them that I am aware that other people do, so if I'm too close, to let me know. I will build an appropriate boundary around people who need one.
Unfortunately, I went to school in the 2000s and they were still trying to force the stimming out of me. I hope that one of these days, society as a whole can figure out that not everyone can sit still like that.
As with being touched - especially with hugs - I actually really enjoy them. I really struggle to properly express my affection for people verbally, but a nice hug does the trick. I mean hell, I'm in my 20s and I still hold my mum's hand sometimes...
Now, UNEXPECTED physical contact, on the other hand, is absolutely horrendous. My least favourite thing. If someone even just pokes my arm when I'm unaware, it sends me straight into panic mode for a second.
I really dislike being touched unless it’s my husband and even then it has to be done right. I didn’t expect to ever enjoy touch and warned him of that when we first started dating. Fortunately for me it turned out I just needed the right person who listens to my needs and wants and respects them.
Childhood was hard though with an extremely social sibling that insisted on hugs and kisses multiple times a day and parents who told me I was mean if I didn’t give that sibling what they wanted. (I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30’s).
I also hate being touched.
I was 23 the first time I actually caught my hand flapping for what it was-I was so anxious I almost passed out and my arms just shrunk into the sleeves of my sweater and I felt like I was trying shake off the anxiety or something. I hadn’t been officially diagnosed yet but I was already putting the pieces together.
For years I had to be sedated for any dental work other than cleaning. Since being diagnosed with aspergers I have studied everything I could get my hands on. Last week I had extensive work done with no sedation. I simply asked the dentist not to talk to me during the treatment. I found that it was their constant talking that gave me anxiety. I don’t need you to tell me you’re about to touch my mouth. I don’t need a constant playbook. I found if they don’t talk to me that I can zone out and stay zoned. It made all my anxiety just go away. I stimmed by tapping my finger on the arm rest. All these years I didn’t realize that all the anxiety came from the constant voicing of the steps they were doing and at such close range.
The dentist! So many people have to get sedated when they go for check ups and cleanings.
I remember, in the city I lived in, one of the dentist was actually a bit more well versed about autism and sensitivity issues. Some of her patients actually felt ok with being under a weighted blanket. Especially the kids. That trick probably helped at least a few of them in getting better dental care as they were growing up.
Wow I'm the same way . Never thought about it . Ha I r cuts are a challenge too . I have to feel the pain we stylists energy , and I get it cut . Not styled or even dried. Cut and go . No chatting, no fussing .
I learned to make eye contact through being screamed at repeatedly to "look in my eyes when I talk to you" while simultaneously being slapped hard on my face and side of my head over and over and then over and over again. I learned to ALWAYS keep aware on some level of the voices of others or be smacked around for ignoring them. And each "undesired behavior" was severely punished. My autistic daughters tell me it's not like that anymore and I am allowed to unmask. Even if I believed that (which I don't) I wouldn't know how. I require MASSIVE amounts of alone time to recharge which is difficult for my wife I'm sure. I'm not looking for sympathy from anyone, I don't want it even if offered. I'm just telling my story to my people and maybe it will encourage someone struggling to know they are capable of more than they realize, are stronger than they realize.💪 I hope 🙏most of you never experienced anything like that but I highly doubt 😒 I was the only autistic to be "trained to behave properly" using this method. 😟 Anyway, stay strong, you got this.
Also, good video brother. Last video of yours I saw was 10 signs you might be autistic or something similar. In that video you said wearing the same rotation of clothes but your gf was helping to mix it up and eating a sandwich without sauces. Yeah, just like me. That was a long time ago. You have developed a much better stage presence. Well done 👍😊 I'm still working on mine. Great video. 😀
I went through the same thing. It drove my dad nuts bc he'd start that and I'd zone out
@@christina7557 Exactly. It's as if the NT is genetically programmed to act that way towards us. It's still necessary for me to zone. Now I do it in short intervals more often like little "mini breaks" throughout my day.
hair twisting when sitting down in close quarters talking
straintening everything
obcessing zoning in on something
hyperfocus
I completely forgot until reading your comment- my mother did exactly the same thing- LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU (she was actually screeching, not talking) and she would grab my face with one hand kind of under the chin, and dig her nails into my cheeks and then use the other hand to smack me in the face, fore and backhand, just back and forth. My first memory of that happening I think I was maybe 4 or so. Holy shit. It’s amazing we can block that shit out and then suddenly remember every detail.
Another good one is that it's very common for autistic ppl to have 1 or more hyperflexible joints. Very interesting research in that
My knees are a bit hyperflexible.
@@tinnitusisnotmusic6807 sounds like you’re describing me lol
@@tinnitusisnotmusic6807 I think the link you're talking about might be a misdiagnosis. There are a lot of overlapping symptoms they share, and for that resean autism can sometimes look like BPD in ppl who are really good at masking. A lot of professionals are not educated enough in autism, especially in women and girls. Often women who are diagnosed with BPD and a plethora of other diagnoses just have autism. You can have multiple at the same time; for example, OCD and ADHD are often comorbid with autism. But usually if you are diagnosed autistic after getting the BPD diagnosis, it means you probably didn't have BPD to begin with. I'm not a psychologist myself, I just know from research and experience. This happened to my sister and a number of ppl I read on reddit. If I were you, I'd definitely look for a professional who has experience diagnosing autism in women. Good luck!
Yeah, we were talking about having flexible joints on my adult autism meet up on Zoom. All kinds of over flexibility was on camera.
Very true. Played baseball and my arm would pop out of its socket 😂
It’s important to keep in mind that there are a limited number of symptoms and behaviors, which, in different combinations can indicate different disorders.
At least three of the behaviors mentioned in this video: problems with eye contact, social difficulties and self- soothing behaviors, are also present in children and even adults who are victims of abuse. They can occur mental abuse and neglect with or without physical abuse and neglect.
It’s important to get a sense of the child as a whole.
as well as try to get a sense of the child’s home life, and their relationships with family members and close family friends outside the home as well.
Abuse occurring outside the home and family. Bullying, if severe and/or sustained can lead to these behaviors as well:
It’s important to observe/ask about the person’s interactions with their peers.
Right on, I was hoping for more of a telltale list.
I wrote a comment earlier and was surprised he didn't talk about how we hold a pencil, or even our terrible handwriting (unless your area of strength is that somehow).
Or their bed-wetting friend they couldn't invite to sleepovers.
Or PACING, probably the biggest telltale is not just any old pacing but all day long, not stopping movement even when sitting down, unless just zapped of energy finally.
Especially if they self talk and it's not with imaginary people but just about random problems that they want to solve.
Being an Insomniac.
I'm with you though, Anxiety is everywhere, hardly can use that as a determiner. Plus mine comes from not being understood to be inherently different.
Abusive family, shitty childhood, life chewed me up a bit before i finally found out that I really was as weird as people kept saying LOL
I’m sorry. It sucks, there’s no two ways about it.
I’m 45yrs and undiagnosed/self diagnosed. A few years ago my teenager started researching mental health, ADHD and autism because he wanted to figure out what “was wrong with him”. He started telling me that I was probably ADHD and on the autism spectrum. So I started looking into it myself. I recognized a ton of the traits in myself when I’d read and watch videos of women talking about autism and Inattentive ADHD.
But whenever rocking is mentioned it’s always showed as a very obvious thing. I’d think “well I do rock side to side when standing in line. But I thought I didn’t do it at other times. Same with when you talked about it and showed it in this video. But then towards the end of your video I noticed that I was rocking, just way more subtle, and realized I actually do it often.
I'm 44 and also realizing the same from my child
I'm 61 rocking all the time with no music. And I do Jazz hands... when I do it people think I'm waving... I go nope jazz hands... I think being on the spectrum keeps me young. My daughter did the same as your teen.
I think it's common for people to rock in general, because it distributes the body weight, so there isn't too much pressure on the same joints. Also, humans are rhythmical beings. Rocking a bit, or a leg, or some other body part, is a stress reliever for most neurotypical people, too. Especially when weeping in an extreme emotional state, to self-soothe.
Most of my family is on the autism spectrum, but I am not .
People on the autism spectrum may rock more because their stress levels, and need to find a focussed coping method, in high sensory environments, is needed more.
@@daniellamcgee4251 I don’t understand why you’re (a non autistic person) making invalidating comments on here (a channel dedicated to the experience of autism) to people whom are describing their own experiences.
While yes it’s true that many people will display SOME of these things and not be autistic or have ADHD. It’s overwhelmingly obvious to those who have lived with the mountain of evidence of these things, and the struggle we’ve lived with our entire lives not knowing or understanding what was “wrong” with us.
More than not because we’ve been conditioned to suppress these traits and therefore have heavily masked.
Those symptoms made other people uncomfortable. We were told we shouldn’t be “acting” that way (often times threatened with violence for continuing to do that “weird/unpleasant” thing. Or the traits/symptoms were completely missed. Because so many people would brush it off like “everyone/most people do that thing. I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past. Because of the life long conditioning.
People like me, whom if we were children today, would be more likely to be spotted early and would therefore get the diagnosis. Like with ADHD, back then it was thought to be only a thing that affected boys, and autism wasn’t even known about when I was a child.
@@mrs.chrowley928 No, I think it's a valid and analytical point. Even for a genuinely neurodivergent person, if they find they exhibit something like rocking only to a very mild degree, to point out that mild rocking is _also_ a behavior seen in neurotypical people shows that there's a certain non-zero baseline that one needs to consider when figuring out "how much" of that aspect of the spectrum one exhibits. If you presume that a neurotypical person doesn't exhibit "rocking" or other forms of stimming *at all,* then you might over-estimate how much you, yourself, are showing that trait. They never said, neither explicitly nor implicitly, that examining this *one trait* would invalidate or otherwise get them to "reverse course" the entire stance on being autistic. So there's no need to be excessively confrontational or accusative.
And, since I predict given the previous comment there's a fairly good chance of it coming up in a response, I'll just preemptively address it: no I'm not neurotypical. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and, though I haven't been formally diagnosed with the following, I have well supported suspicions that I would also fit under at least ASD and OCD. So any retort you may potentially have been concocting based on me not having grounds to participate based on "not being neurodivergent", even if they completely fly in the face of the concept of open inclusivity and dialogue without creating an echo chamber, can be pitched.
I work as an education assistant with children on the autism spectrum. Sometimes the teacher I work with will ask one of the students with autism to sit down in their seat when they are flapping their hands or moving around the room. Even if they are not being loud. This often happens when they are at the standing desk. I don’t mind if my student doesn’t just stand at the standing desk as long as they are being quiet. If they manage by moving their body and flapping their hands but are not disturbing the rest of the class then I am OK with that. If need be I will explain later to my teacher why this happens and how I’m teaching my student that it’s OK to do this as long as they are quiet when the teacher is talking.
I will also be sending her this video.
Mary Rutter
I think we can be easily startled due to sensory issues. Especially sounds.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my thirties and I've always wondered if I was also on the spectrum. All of the things you mentioned I do.
I was always a 'different' child. I used to rock, flap my hands when I got excited, definitely zoned in (or out) and kept myself busy for hours. My mom thought I was going to be an engineer because I took my toys apart. I did get an associate degree in engineering so I guess she was right. I used to hyperfocus on things such as cleaning my room. That never went well (still doesn't go well) as I will start to go through a box and have to handle everything in the box and play with it. It always ends up back in the box even though I want to sort things out, I just can't. I still hyperfocus on things and get inside my head. However when it comes to eye contact, I was trained to make constant eye contact. I think it's very uncomfortable for others because I won't break eye contact but I don't know how to do anything else. Probably the most unnerving thing is that I don't blink a lot. I don't know why I don't blink a lot I just don't when I'm making eye contact. I feel like an alien trying to be human. It's nice to know that I'm not broken, I'm just different.
You’re not broken at all. You are loved so much by the most high God. I almost died from a heart attack and saw the other side; Jesus is REAL and he has a plan for your life. There’s a book already written about you in heaven. All you have to do is become “born again” and he will give you his Holy Spirit. Your life will change forever ❤️
I’m the same way with the eye contact. My father used to punish me if I didn’t look at him in the eyes when he was talking to me, so I learned to do it. But for some reason the way I look in people’s eyes seems to make most people very uncomfortable. It also for some reason mesmerizes cats.
@@danieldaniels7571 lol, yes , the cat thing.
Goddamn It’s like we are the same on certain things like especially the cleaning room part and the zoning in/out part. I’m nearing 19 and I’ve always thought I had adhd but i might be on the spectrum 🤔
OMG, I have never been able to keep things in order/organize them. I've never been able to pinpoint why except I figured it was ADHD (diagnosed about 25 years ago) but now knowing I'm autistic, what you said hit the target. I start to organize one box/area, and get caught up in the things in that box. They are so interesting to me. And they relate to other tasks, so I go to do those, and the box is not ever sorted all the way. It's a dreaded and exhausting task. Since I do art and make a lot of things with my hands this is never-ending. However, the hyperfocus is calming. Not sure how I'll make use of this information, except that I'm done with feeling shame about how cluttered/disorganized my living space is. The shame makes it worse because anxiety makes me want to hyperfocus on things to calm myself.
I can make eye contact easily with a major exception. When I'm trying to say something I want to say or care about. In other words, not masking, not a "script" that I already have in my head. It seems like people are then not interested in those things I really care about and this is discouraging. So I rarely talk about the things that really matter or are really interesting to me. But I can listen to others and make eye contact. However it's exhausting to do so.
I have definitely always had social anxiety and meltdowns. I wonder if I didn't do much rocking or hand flapping because I did so much dancing as a child; and also singing, and/or playing piano. I definitely kept myself busy for hours, took things apart, and "zoned out" per se.
Same here. Fidgeting is not acceptable for women, so we mostly suppress it. I drew 4 horses per every 2 open pages in my social studies notes. He wrote so slow I'd fall asleep otherwise.
Megz, I’ve had these issues my entire life but they’re getting better after my encounter with Jesus. I used to think going to church was Christianity but I was so mistaken; it’s a personal relationship.
Almost died from a heart attack and saw the other side; demons are the cause for MOST infirmities. I know Aspergers is physiological, but they really exasperate things. They hate us and want to keep you from God’s love.
Jesus stopped my heart attack, healed my vision+sense of smell, and gave me the Holy Spirit. It’s a real thing and will make your life exponentially easier. It’s the same spirit Jesus had on earth.
I resisted Jesus all my life because of Aspergers; I couldn’t see the logic behind it. However, it took almost dying and witnessing his miracles to believe. All you have to do is become “born again” and accept the finished work he did on the cross. Confess with thy mouth, and believe in thine heart.
He will change you and guide you in all your ways. You have no idea how much he loves you and so do I ❤️ let me know if you have any questions
@@hhholsteiners1 Yeah because, I couldn't remember doing any rocking or hand flapping, but there were times where I would spin for a bit and then lay on the couch so that I could watch the walls and ceiling move ☺. I have been told by coworkers that I make funny noises, but this seems to happen when I am in a stressful atmosphere (such as working in a grocery store). And they say that singing is a form of stimming; I would sing for hours everyday. I eventually found out that it isn't appropriate to do it when somebody wanted to spend time with you during school breaks back in middle school. I realize how awkward it must have been when they wanted to walk with me, but I wouldn't talk to them, just sing. And then at work, when I had my first job at Wendy's lol! I was belting out "Lullaby In Birdland" by Ella Fitzgerald, singing as if nobody was there where the whole dining room could hear 😄.
@@mj6598 Yes, I have heard a lot of people who have had near death experiences and went to hell. The experiences they describe are all similar to each other, and equally as terrifying. Worse than I could ever imagine! If we think EARTH is bad, well it will look like heaven after a minute in hell. I am glad that Jesus could save you and show you the way. So many people glamorize the devil nowadays, wearing devil horns on their profile pictures and whatnot. This is one of the biggest reasons why I just avoid the general public unfortunately; while trying to show them all love the best way that I can. We are told to love all humanity, and I do; but I feel the need to protect myself at the same time.
@@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy absolutely. The devil doesn’t even try and hide anymore. When you become born again, God’s spirit will dwell in you. Love and joy will come naturally and demons will flee from you. But in order to be saved you MUST be born again.
Please do me a favor and consider giving your life to Christ today; we live on a battlefield and I want to see you in heaven ❤️
As an autistic person, I appreciate seeing videos like yours aimed at helping "normies" understand us. I've trained myself to make eye contact but still have to consciously do it nonetheless. I have bad GAD and SAD and still have "melt-downs" at 45, and zone out so badly that I often wander off to "go to the bathroom" during work meetings. I didn't have jazz hands growing up, but I did shake my knee, and also wrapped my arm around my head constantly. Another is awkward gait - my cousin-in-law's wife, a disabilities teacher, told my wife she identified me as aspie within seconds when she met me based on the way I walked.
My high school principal came to me to let me know that I was an aspire. He was 96 years old and I was 63. He remembered my behaviors. And the fact that I was the only student in the school who was allowed to eat lunch in a local restaurant. I could not eat at the cafeteria and did not eat boxed lunches. I ate two burgers and french fries every day. Actually, when he told me everything just clicked and made sense. If you know of anyone let them know. I don't want anyone to have to wait 63 years like I did.
I force eye contact, and I hate it. The longest time I ever maintained eye contact was a good twelve seconds.
Same, I always hated eye contact. Especially as a kid in middle and high school. What helped me a lot was taking acting class. They taught me to look at the other person's forehead or nose instead so it seems like you look them in the eyes but not really. I hate it when people stare at me even now because it feels like their eyes are burning into me. But if I don't focus so much on their eyes it's not as bad. I have a pet peeve about people giving me ugly looks and staring at me. I hated the ugly judgemental looks even when i was a baby.
12 seconds? That sounds like torture lol. Must've felt like an eternity.
@@adrianneavenicci It did.
As a woman, if I don't mask, people treat me like I'm insane. If I mask a little, I'm just rude, lazy, and weird. If I mask a lot, I'm uncanny and people will actively avoid me like I might be a serial killer or about to abduct their children. So I've learned not to try too hard 🥲😐 Either way, there are people who don't want to be anywhere near me long enough to even find out who I am.
Also, all visible triggers here are me except for the hand flapping. I stem a whole lot, but not that way.
🫶🏽 i mean i often didn't try but way too much did took me 4 decades to really grasp the bar and hold on for Life sake
Same here. I can't win.
I have ADHD and autism. Your comment about zoning out got me remembering my senior trip in high school to DC. Our group had a bus and all of us would get off at different sites to check out different landmarks. I got me a new book I was engrossed in and what ended up being an hour later looked up to stretch noticed that I was alone on the bus.
There’s also the time I went t my favorite coffee shop and went to their second floor to read and ended up getting locked inside after they closed for the night.
Signs start 4.30
Thank you!!!
Thank you 04:30
Thanks for this. I have adhd (diagnosed in my 40s) and my 6 year daughter has many traits. She also flaps her hands a few dozen times daily, hops for hours on end (while flapping), has difficulty with eye contact when people talk with her, doesn’t respond to her name. She hyperfocuses many times daily. She’s also extremely conversational and a bright student, and seems to have typical adhd focus and hyperactive challenges. I’m reluctant to get a label put on her at this young age but she has been in for all the testing and the school doesn’t think her case is “extreme” enough for an IEP. I give her accommodations and awareness, and observing closely so I can intercede w professional help if she experiences additional challenges. Hopefully I am doing the right things. I just watched your Asperger vs autism vid from 3 years ago and she definitely seems to be on the asp side.
It's actually much easier to get diagnosed at a young age. I got diagnosed at 15 and I wish I was diagnosed much sooner.
She absolutely sounds like one of us,the problem is the diagnostic sexism. Boys just have to be good at electronics or line up cars and bam they get a diagnosis, but girls who present differently can have countless of obvious signs and still just get dismissed. Although people are getting better at recognising that girls and boys are different and therefore need to be assessed differently, there are many who have not developed that understanding and insight yet and their diagnostic process is like that from 30 years ago .if you can get your daughter seen by someone a bit more modern and updated, the results might be different.
@@The_miIk same! Honestly it would have helped so much in the rest of school as I have struggled a lot in certain areas of school and just having an earlier recognition of why would have helped me a lot
You might try getting a 504 plan in place for her. It may give her some supports that she might need without having to qualify for an IEP.
@@The_miIk Thank you, I can see I need to educate myself more on this. The school knows she is ADHD because our doctor wrote it on her yearly record that is sent to the school. But now I’m thinking she is on the spectrum. Yet whatever testing the school did shows she is not “extreme” enough.
I rock back and forth, especially when I’m in church and standing. I used to wiggle my foot or bounce my leg, but that wasn’t so cool to do in a professional setting, so I learned to curl my toes repeatedly instead. And I HATE to do telephone calls. Because of my work, I had to train myself to maintain eye contact as a communication technique. By 3 pm, my brain was exhausted from working so hard on my social skills, and I wasn’t worth a hoot after that. Now, I just want to be a hermit.😄 Makes my extended family crazy!
Omg, I too curl (twitch) my toes instead!!!
@@shawnalajame7888 , yes! I got called out on my “bouncing,” so I started doing the toe thing instead! No one can see it then.😊
Wiggling the toes…I heard it from you first, thanks‼️
I hear you on the hermitage. Family just doesn’t understand why I don’t rush out if they pull up. I’d rather have a butt kicking than to have company. And It’s not due to being a hoarder or having a messy place . I’m actually a neat freak. I just hate the show I have to put on. I don’t enjoy it. Other people do. I simply don’t. But I also don’t hate the people. I just don’t enjoy the interest
Years ago I learned to wrap one leg around the other while sitting, and also cross my arms tightly. People think this is a defensive posture in body language, but I adopted it to stop leg bouncing and arm movements that girls weren't supposed to do. It became a way of self stimming. I'm now relearning to bounce my leg and that feels better, freer.
“…you can help them, and it’s a great thing, to help people!” These words caused happy tears. Thank you for this video.
As a person with autism, I realized that I focus on people’s mouth rather than eyes much more. I even do this what watching someone on a video or tv. Interestingly, long before I had any clue that I had autism when I would see new born babies or even family members, others would comment about how they looked alike based on their eyes, but I would always see similarities in their mouth/jaw.
Right?!? Nobody has their mother's eyes at two days old! 😂
I have auditory processing problems. "I watch people's mouths because it helps me 'heart better. Common with ADD. Something you might want to look into.
@@mickiedownend7845 Same. I have ADHD and I'll sometimes be listening to someone talk and a syllable or even sometimes a short word will suddenly turn to gibberish in the middle of a sentence. It's completely random and sporadic, though I find the more clearly and enunciated a person speaks and also the less background noise there is, the less likely it is to happen (but still not impossible). But if I'm watching their mouth, I can often mentally "fill in" what the lost word was supposed to be a lot faster. Otherwise, in the time it takes to figure out the missing word, I'll miss the next word... and then the next, and it's just a cascade effect that makes me completely lose track of what's being said. I'm not 100% sure, but I've conjectured it has something to do with a part of the auditory system that filters out background noise from speech. Normally, even in a noisy environment, if you focus on someone speaking you can make out what they're saying because your brain will filter out the background noise. I think my brain gets a bit overzealous with the filter and it will more often accidentally filter out parts of the speech I'm actually _trying_ to hear as if it were background noise. This causes a part of what's said to suddenly fade to unintelligible background noise in a similar way to how the visual system "ignores" your nose which is *always* in your visual field or your blind spots which just sort of get "fixed in post" in the optic center of the brain. That's why, even with one eye closed, you don't see a "hole" in your vision where your blind spot is; the brain just "assumes" what's "supposed" to be there and puts it there.
Yes! I look at mouths too, with quick glances up to the eyes to be socially acceptable. I've never known anyone else to do that. Thank you!
My son has severe ocd autism and social anxiety I've just found your channel great to see this.❤
Thank you.
I've had a sudden inheritance of family, and the son is on the spectrum enough to have medical disability, but he's pretty high-functioning. Has that brilliance, wants to create but doesn't know how.
It feels enough like me that we've connected, and I find myself looking inward and recognizing my own stimming behaviors.
And I have trained to be social,
It's a good connection to have with a new family member.
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Thank you for sharing this. I am 66 and have 4 of the 5 signs you discussed. It's nice to think there is actually a reason for my so-called "weird" behavior. I have learned to look people in the eye (briefly) and interact in absolutely excruciating retail positions, but I don't think I can ever change.
Not necessarily true about eye-contact. I can stare Superman lasers through anybody. My dad was very strict about looking people, especially other men, in the eye when they're speaking to you or you're speaking to them - that it was polite to do so. Let's just say I unnerved a LOT of teachers and even family members with my stare. I don't think even Clint Eastwood could take me in a staring contest.😂
Did not realise I'm autistic until recently, it is so rewarding and helpful to start learning about it. Previously I'd been hyperfocused on learning to live with recent sight loss, and coming to terms with a recent personality disorder diagnosis. I didn't realise until you were talking about it that I was using my ASD 'tuning in' (my alternative to 'zoning out') as a way to kind of make up for the change in visual information. It got so frustrating to be interrupted from it, because it takes time to re-establish that focus..
Yes! Once broken, it can take days to find the right vibe again depending on the task and/or challenges.
I'm glad I found your channel ❤ I didn't know that I was on the spectrum until my daughter and one of my grandchildren were diagnosed and I saw myself in them. I finally know where I belong. Thank you ❤
Me too. RC
Warning: the comment above, about Dr. and ADHD, appears to be a scam.
The love sounds/ attracted to sounds eg music, noise, crying etc. Sounds nearly always captivates them.
Also, they flip their heads from side to side most times that they're lying down in the supine position
When my brother and I were really young, my mom had him tested to see if he had hearing problems because he would get so zoned in on things. The audiologist told my mom that it wasn't his hearing but probably neurological. That encounter led to my brother being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 4.
The tools my mom was taught and support my mom got for my brother also helped my mom cope with my issues even though I wasn't diagnosed with autism or anything else as a kid. Mom was told that I was just shy, quiet, or sensitive when she brought up my issues to our doctors. I am shy (introvert), quiet (situational mutism), and sensitive (sensory processing disorder). I'm 5 for 5 on the physical manifestations that you listed in this video although I bounce more than I rock. I tend to bounce on the balls of my feet and pace when I'm agitated (good or bad cause). Push me too far on that trigger and you will see me either meltdown or shut down.
Warning: the comment above, about Dr. and ADHD, is probably a scam.
@@daniellamcgee4251 And it is a poorly written scam at that.
@TheKjoy85 True. That was one of the clues that it was probably a scam. English is not usually their first language with these types of scams.
This is what I need and want to share: When I was in 3rd grade I was tested for hearing impairment - since I was so young I don't really understand the conclusions they came to but I was instead placed in a "gifted and talented program" - from that point on I think I lost a lot of who I really was. Thank you for sharing. I'm 47, on disability for depression and fibromyalgia & have been trying to find myself for the last 15 years.
I renege this exact thing happening! 3rd grade, was am awkward year because we had just moved. Interesting.
Omg my swype hates me! I REMEMBER and well I'm not even chasing the rest of those strays at almost 2AM. When did my swype get so damned dumb?
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Thank you for sharing. I am on disability for fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome/ M.E., and previously depression. I don't have autism, but my symptoms of sensory sensitiviy are amped up, and light, etc., gives me a stronger headache, can make me vomit. It must be difficult to tell what experience is on the autistic spectrum, and what is fibromyalgia.
I also have alphabet soup. As a child I tried to hide my stimming because I knew how it looked but I developed a full body twitch and my anxiety was through the roof.
Life go so much easier when I cut back on the masking and started stimming.
Flappy is happy!
Nailed it with this video, I have ASD and anxiety is definitely something that goes hand in hand with it especially social wise. I tend to rock a lot in class and at home when I'm relaxing. Usually a sign that I have bit of energy that I need to get rid of.
Zoning out is the fun one, someone could be talking and then I don't hear half the conversation that was going on so they have to repeat it. Lucky for me, all of my mates accept I zone out and then 9 times out of 10 I'll be explaining the main reason why I do it (especially when I have music lyrics in my head).
Another thing I tend to do is, if someone asks me a question, I will literally zone out as an attempt to get the words in the right order so it makes sense to them. My mates tend to describe as "the gears turning" cause for a solid 5 minutes i'm completely somewhere else thinking about what to say and how to say it.
Love your videos, they are so inspiring and educational, really helped my class understand why I was behaving a certain way in certain environments.
I remember school days, lunchroom conversations that I totally missed because I was thinking how to frame my contribution to the previous topic. Aarrgghhh!!!
@@joycebrewer4150 I was the queen of avoiding any conversations, or it'd be just about that class we just had and we could go about that forever
Ah yes, the "gears turning" while selecting words and arranging them so they make sense when I say them out loud. And sometimes my mouth still doesn't get the message straight, when, "Sorry. My brain to mouth connection isn't working at the moment. Lemme try that again."
@@rebeccamay6420 Oh gods how much I do that. I can have the conversation in my head crystal clear. But the second I say it it turns into spaghetti
@@joycebrewer4150this feels relatable to me especially the part about zoning out while trying to formulate a reply to someone.
I watch your videos to help me with understanding my son. When he was smaller he would have meltdowns sometimes in public and would be frustrating as a parent when would feel judged that people would think he was throwing a temper tantrum. When in reality he just needed to be removed from the situation until he could then recover in peace. It's difficult at times as a parent because it's not visible so no he's not being a brat. He can't help it when he gets frustrated and anxious at times.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Since brats are more common nowadays it’s harder for people to be sympathetic. All I can say is to focus on your son when he’s in that mode, and sit/be by him until you’re able to remove him. If you haven’t got any already, get him some stim toys and find his favorite
my partner is autistic and these videos help me understand them more ! thank you ⭐️:)
I have always walked funny (walking on the front pads of my feet instead of landing on my heels). People say that I walk like a ballerina, and/or look timid.
Wow my grandson does that
I do that too! Not all the time, but definitely often.
I do that too! 😁
Awe, that's great guys! Here I am as an adult, still doing it, and I don't know why. ☺
@@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy Yeah same, I just turned 18 recently and it's just a habit I have. Not sure why I do it but I've done it for years and people have called me out on it haha.
Me at any long social gathering. Actively chatty and engaged for the the first hour. Last 3-4 hours: Completely
quiet and checked out.
Yep!
I'm more dyspraxic than on the autism spectrum and in fact many clinicians I've visited outright denied that I'm anywhere on the autism spectrum while some have opined that I'm only marginally on the spectrum. However many of these traits you describe are ones that I relate to 100% Some were more the case when I was younger but many are still present in me at 47. This is especially true with many of the stimming behaviors like rocking and hand flapping. I still zone out but have learned to control this while conversing with others.
I can often tell a neurodivergent individual just by looking at them often with their postures and sort of how the digits are positioned while holding their hands in certain positions. But this might be more the case with something like dyspraxia or autism where psychomotor impairments can manifest. Some people have told me that they kinda knew something was different about me even before revealing this to them.
Excellent video! Thanks for sharing your content!
Definitely agree with the zoning in thing, I love to bring small things, coins and rocks, preferably shiny, to fidget with and be amazed by. I also keep picking at my skin around the fingertips and nails, destroying it while feeling the irregularities
I've just come across your channel and I love it! thanks for the information! i'm a private teacher and for some reason I seem to have "attracted" many young children which totally fit your description. i'm not diagnosing anyone by the way, I'm just very curious and doing some research in order to help them as much as I can! I can sense their loneliness at times and it is heart breaking. I hope I manage to help in some way, they seem to enjoy my company even though it's hard for them to express it in a conventional way....thanks again!!
I would zone out a lot during college lectures and conversations with other and people thought I was just rude or too dumb to follow along. This is why I prefer to be alone so that i can save myself and the people around me the time and trouble.
signs start at 4:25
I'm sitting here rocking and rubbing my hand exactly like you are as I'm watching this. My mother was a hand flapper, but as a child her family were encouraged to slap her hands when ever she started to do it. So, when ever she got stressed as an adult she would protect her hands.
I have everything except for the flapping hands, but i'm not so happy either. I just found out that i have autism, a month ago and i'm almost 45 yrs old. This have been such a long and terrible journey, i haven't had anyone to talk to or even trying to understand me. But it may be because of my family situation, my mom was an addict and she had munchausen syndrome. So she gave me some of her prescription medicine, like opiates and barbiturates, so i became a addict myself at a very young age, only 13 yrs old. I think everyone around me only have seen the addict in me!? But i have been sober since April 2019 😊 I do have a lot's of problems with my asperger, i don't know how to handle myself? The only thing i do is to sit inside and do stuff on my phone or computer, it's not healthy at all, how do i break this pattern? Thank you for your channel. I'm sorry for my bad english, i'm from Sweden. Have a great weekend.
Yes it is very hard to get diagnose late. My life has been one big rollercoaster ride with ups and downs until I finally underskrifter why. I didn't know myself before. But now I am stuck at lowest income in Denmark. Not funny in the long run. But I guess it is better than some other countries. How is it in Sweden? I have lived a year in ljusdal 20 years ago when I had a supporter job that was very stressful. I didn't know that it wasn't for me then. So it was very hard and I left after 10 months.
@@b4mdk_ Kan jag skriva på svenska?
@@emzie77 yes, svensk er fint
I used to break the couch springs from bouncing. My parents would try to get me to stop, but I couldn't.
My mom finally got me alittle rocking chair with some s and h green stamps.
I rocked side to side every night, laying in bed. I always did what my parents called bad habits.
The hand stuff you talked about.
I'm 61 now and smoked pot every since I tried it.
I was able to talk to people and even somewhat sit still.
It's legal here, finally, so I don't have to be a criminal anymore to feel good.
I was diagnosed in my 40's, I'm 56 now.
Still flap my hands (when excited/nervous/anxious), rocking, ended in my teens. CBT, gave me tools to deal with eyecontact and social anxiety. Still dealing with depressions. Remember, brothers & sisters: Fly that " freakflag" high 🤪✊️🥰
Do you mean CBD? if not .. what is CBT?
@@bvons75 Sorry it took so long ( notif. Is outta whack) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy😁
Rotating sounds like a fan or just a coin rolling over a floor are often able to snap autistic kids out of their zoning into something. Roll a coin out of their sight or turn on a fan or ventilator on and they'll immediately break concentration and focus on this "rotating" auditory stimulus. I've done this three times with very young kids that were not yet diagnosed but I had my suspicions. One I asked his father if he's autistic and he was baffled and asked why I thought so because they were in the middle of a diagnosis period. I've also done this with adults that I know are on the spectrum and it almost always works on them too.
I am self diagnosed autistic. I am sure I have masked a lot of my physical traits since being a teenager out of the need to fit in, so the outside world me has been a mask. I now associate a lot of my physical traits as autistic behaviours and take comfort from this. Feels more ok to do this now. At home I hyper fixate a lot on numbers and budgeting, people and I like to tell people a lot of information on my topics of interest. I do also need lots of time to zone out on my own and block out the world. I have social anxiety and feel very on edge and exposed in social events, as if spiders are crawling over me! Good to relate on here thank you💜
3/5 and I was diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago. Thanks for the video. I don’t know if this is counted as rocking but I’ll sway side to side when standing. Like when waiting or during public speaking.
I run my own electrical business as I have for 13 years, during the pandemic I felt that I could not enter into peoples houses anymore, anybody who presented me with any stress or challenge I would immediately explode that friendship or relationship. My business is in shambles, after a successful run before the pandemic, sure there were a few social problems but for me I’m in credibly social and positive for the most part, I held on to hope for as long as I could and lost it during the pandemic. I honestly think hope is what keeps somebody like me on track
My wife multi masters and a PhD and now has dementia. Previously she has been a leader and has done hospital turn arounds / startups etc. Obviously, she has been a been at Sr. Leadership level. Because her brain has parts have died off, she has lost some control. She DOES NOT rock but counts everything and can create, self imposed, stress levels where she becomes almost non functional. Your youtube got me thinking. Intresting when she was going to school in one of 3 masters, I noticed that she wanted to be a 4.0 (straight A's) then top of the class, last she wanted to go through an entire degree with out missing any questions. She missed just 3 points in a full masters. Do not know if she was just driven or had other issues. Thank you, for your effort You made me think!!!!
I find it interesting watching all the you tube videos on Autism stating we are effected by noise yet and are have heightened senses but yet they make the videos with either music in the background like this video or sone sort of irritating noise so that I can’t hear or pay attention to what they are saying! I’m 58 this year and realize my entire family has autism including my x husband! We really are like so irritating to each other! Ones tapping and tapping noise bugs the other person, one’s taking so loud yet effecting another person, melt downs are insane! Chaotic life!
I was diagnosed ADHD anxiety disorder and OCD but took a test and realized I’m autistic scored very high on the RAAD test online!
Give me some tips.
Before I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7 they tested my hearing first.
Lack of a pain response even with obvious injury. Also, no response to cold water or a positive response. Inability to change clothes and wearing the same clothes even after a shower. It's obvious to see these in your family or friends if you watch and they exhibit them. Thanks! Great video.
It'd be really cool if you made a video all about different types of stimming.
Hubs rocks the most when he's losing at video games. It is very noticable. His hands will tremble too sometimes. He also bites his nails until they bleed and gets bloody prints on our wood floor...all his nails are worn down to the finger/toe and beyond.
He has only been diagnosed with adhd though and ptsd from childhood trauma, he sometimes would get manic bipolar traits too. His medication I nagged and pleaded and begged him to finally see a therapist to get has really helped his sleep and manic highs and lows once they got the mix right.
I taught myself to look people in the eyes when I was very young after reading books on body language. Only problem is that I maintain eye-contact for too long. I found this out reading my Autism diagnosis report were the diagnosing Psychologist stated "Maintains eye-contact were I feel uncomfortable". I being the Psychologist.
I just recently found out that I'm autistic. I'm 58 and never had a clue. I don't really have any of these behaviors, at least not to the extremes that you talk about here. Obviously I'm high functioning. Since discovering that I am autistic, I have also discovered that all 4 of my children are also autistic. I'm discovering things about my personality traits that are signs of being autistic that I never knew. Makes sense actually, my different way of thinking always put me in the gifted category, but could never understand why I had so much trouble with "traditional" learning methods. It all makes sense now!
My stimming was severe nail biting. It took 15 years of acrylic nails to bring it down, but not all the way.
I was a serious nail biter until I started working in construction. Then my hands were so dirty I didn't want them near my mouth. Eventually I was able to stop that completely.
Starts at 2:13
Stemming for many adults is what we could get away with as a kid or what we can get away with now. Lots of people do rhythmic movements (foot tapping, nail drumming, etc) when they're anxious, but the people who do it ALL THE TIME are really more the signal.
Eye contact is a weird one for me. I wasn't allowed to look at my father because he took it as a 'challenge' and would send me flying across the room. But my mother insisted I look at her, so I did. Teachers got mad when I didn't, then got mad because apparently when I did look at them, I was somehow doing it wrong. When I was young, I did have a preference for not looking at people, but I figured out that nobody likes that, so I look.
But I've been told that I look way too intently at people when they're speaking. That's because I'm really listening, studying their face and body language, hearing the inflections in their tone, and desperately trying to understand the totality of what they're trying to communicate. Unless people know me really well, they take it badly and I don't know how to fix it. My daughter is the only person who understands that none of it is natural or instinctive or automatic for me. I don't 'feel' intent with body language and tone to go with the words. I have to consciously interpret those things just like I do words. I simply don't have the cognitive ability to concentrate that damn hard AND get my own body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions right, too.
This has gotten me in trouble for 'flipping.' When I'm listening, I'm this slightly scowling, intently starring listener. Then when it's my turn to speak, I brighten up, smile, relax and chatter. Then I go into listening mode and all that goes away. Obviously I had no idea what I was doing until someone pointed it out to me. (All of those years of thinking I was doing okay and it turns out I was messing up badly. shameshameshame)
A lot of the natural tendencies for autistic people get horrible reactions from normies. This trains autistics to desperately try to adapt and that leads to so many more problems. This is where people end up labeling others as 'weird' and calling it a day. I'd suggest that, if you're interacting with someone who's 'weird' or 'off', start to poke a bit and see if the weirdness is really maladaptive attempts to TRY to do things 'right.'
In my situation, the more comfortable I am with someone, the more the typical autistic traits will appear. I've got a very small circle and they see it all. I do stop making eye contact because it's exhausting and with people who get me, I don't have to. I'd never do that with an acquaintance.
This was a very insightful comment. Thank you.
I don't know how this will sound, but I'm gonna shoot anyway... maybe you can try a small experiment? Use a very mild form of distraction, nothing to big or boisterous so that you cannot pay some attention, like sunflower seeds to munch while you chat, looking down often to split seeds but stay in the conversation. For occasions when snacking is just not appropriate, keep a paper clip in your pocket to fiddle with. Might help to relax that gaze a bit?
My solution to the eye contact was to look when they weren't and just break away when they do. In my mind that counted. If i hold for a few seconds first, it's never on their eyes. With enough space between us, o could be talking to that tree behind them. Closer, and I'm usually focused on eyebrows or something like that.
I'm loving these videos to help me understand more of my own life.
Like many in the comments here the anxiety and masking we learned when young are still with us when older. It's tough man.... I'm still at the start of my journey to better health, and I'm glad to be on the path. It's tough though.
Thanks for another great video Dan. Very informative. I especially identify with social anxiety, and zoning in/out.
May I suggest , folks look into AUDIO PROCESSING DISORDER lots of folks with ADHD and autism spectrum tend to have this,and it can be corrected, there's a Ted talk on it.
Skip to 4:25 to save time 😊
I always thought it was called zoning out because you are zoning out of the current social situation but I think I'm going to start calling it zoning in now because that feels like a more positive way to express it 😊
I'd never really thought of the usually-gentle rocking I often do as a diagnostic trait (I would assume it's less annoying to others nearby than the many people - including NTs? - who tap fingers or toes or jiggle a leg restlessly), until my sister pointed out that I appeared to be on the Spectrum, with examples. However, I did always realize that people would think it weird if I did in public what I allow myself in private, namely, when I'm reading, and it gets intense (be it exciting OR upsetting), the speed and amplitude of both my rocking and my random humming (rarely an actual song, and very hard to keep "stopped" once started) tend to ramp up quite a bit. Definitely noticeable stimming, now that I have the word for it!
(Sorry for the run-on, parenthetical sentences. Hopefully this is intelligible anyway.)
I have Dyslexia, Dyscalculia (Dyslexia for numbers) and Dyspraxia (a hand eye motor coordination issue) if theres a Dys out there I've probably got a touch of it at least
i love that i never have to speed up your videos AspieWorld! Im usually 1.5x
I guess what ppl notice is: my stimming, the way I walk, the way I hold my hands when I walk and the way my voice sounds when I talk.
Great show, I love it. FYI, flapping is also something taught to actors as a de-stressing technique. We see athletes, particularly runners do it too. Also, there are cultures, such as mine, which feature less direct eye contact. Irish speakers often look away speaking Irish, because the language is very sensory, for example, we don't say, I am happy, we say 'I have happiness on me.' It is common for us to close our eyes speaking lines like this, so as you can imagine, Irish students studying abroad can face suggestions of autism when it's really a cultural thing. But I agree with you, it is about all of these features regularly presenting in the one individual that could be an indicator.
We had our daughter's hearing tested when she was young. She hardly ever responded to her name. Also when she was being assessed for asd the doctors were very interested in her birthmark. When asked they said there's some sort of connection with autism and birthmarks. Don't know how common this is.
@Dave T I have a birthmark on my elbow. Just curious as to where hers is.
@@sitascott8446 mines my elbow too
That’s so interesting I have one as well, I’m not officially diagnosed yet but I highly suspect I’m on the spectrum.
I can’t help but to doubt this theory, however I too have a birthmark. It’s heart shaped and it’s on my tushie. LOL
My 5 year old has a big birthmark on his lower leg, his
Doc said it’s related to the MTHFR gen snp that many autistic people have.
I don't flap my hands when I'm happy. I do it during meltdowns to soothe myself as much as possible. It doesn't stop the meltdown, but it makes it less uncomfortable.
I will often rock either front to back or side to side. A lot of it depends on where I am and which movement is easier to do in that situation.
Zoning in ... My husband has said more than once that he's been talking to me for 20 minutes and I don't respond at all when I'm vibing with whatever tv show or project i'm in. I just disappear into things mentally and lose all focus on anything that isn't that thing. But he does it too, so he doesn't have a lot of room to complain.
My stemming is trying to fold, lift and push the creases in my right pant leg back and forth when I am sitting. I do it so much I have worn holes on the right thigh of each and every pair of long pants I have ever owned. Been doing it all my life, it wasn't until about 5 years ago I learned I was on the spectrum. Only recently did I realize I was stemming.
Thank you for all you videos. They are really useful. My son has just been diagnosed (4 years old) you're really helping us understand the why he thinks.
Wish we had time stamps past sponsor stuff... if you haven't gone ad free, welcome to double doses
My lack of patience... sorry
They didn't know all this when I was a kid and I had to learn to mask to fit in. I'm just now learning I've been on the spectrum. It really helps to know and I can stop wondering what personality disorder I have. I think it's easy to end up with a mental illness label rather than an autism diagnosis. Thanks for bringing awareness.
**GET TO THE GOD DAMNED POINT!**
Actual advertised content starts at 4:25
Hello Dan! I love your podcast. I am neurotypical but friends with aspies and I love learning ways to better understand the ways of perceiving the world. It is an amazing world. As a suggestion for future podcasts, could you talk about examples of do's and don'ts of communication. For example: conversation back and forth that starts becoming an argument. what to do to stay a conversation and if it did become an argument, how to de-escalate. I would like to learn not just the differences of communication and perceiving the information but also, how to avoid making mistakes that can lead to an argument and if I made a mistake, how can I safely mitigate the impact I caused. thank you in advance for the consideration. Super helpful. Much love! Peace!
According to Wikipedia, here's what Hans Asperger came up with in describing those who had the syndrome named after him: "...struggled to form friendships, did not understand others' gestures or feelings, engaged in one-sided conversations about their favourite interests, and were clumsy." What do you make of that?
Though I haven’t been diagnosed, this sounds quite accurate!
The stuff you can focus on when you don't have kids is amazing!
I wish my parents had seen this video when I was younger lol. Though of course being late diagnosed means I was never put through ABA which is good
That’s how I think about it constantly. It’s amazing to me that I could know enough was wrong to insist on seeing therapists about possible adhd, and it wasn’t super ducking obvious to them I was autistic.
As a parent I was always curious if my son was mis diagnosed. Thank you for making this video.
the list actually starts at 4:29
The eye contact thing was hard to work on, but after years of work, I can now speak to someone directly. I've got the hyper focusing, and I also rub my fingers into my hand like flick my fingers around into my palm and other fingers. Imagine feeling like you have something stuck under your nails and u want it out, but there isn't actually anything there.