This is too TRUE! What's worse is when you are the only person you can rely on but you've been programmed to believe that you are an unreliable source unless everyone else approves. 😩
@@mianlee7382 Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!! 😭😭😭🫂🌞🌺🌻 Oh em geeeeeee! You get iiiit! 🎯‼️ This is exactly the unlearning that's happening. To even see myself as a valid source or authority over my life is HARD 😭 I'm so used to following other people's guidance or advice... Or just deferring to other folks altogether (just taking myself out of the Equation). 🫂🫂🫂 You're totally not alone. We're gonna get this. 🥹💛🫂 One day at a time. 🥰🌺🌻
We're also taught that if we literally cannot break our backs to serve others, then we are weak. That's a lie that I got free from... And still staying mindful to stay free from that.
When people say "it's because you don't love yourself", it's giving victim blaming. A better question for people who think this way to consider would be: "who didn't love this person, and how were they treated that they find it so hard to love themselves?" We tend to judge, but we need to shift into a space of trying to understand instead.
I used to have this recurring dream that I was all dressed up at a fancy banquet or event being a hostess serving and taking care of other people. There was some really delicious looking food on the table. Whenever I got done working and was ready to eat, everything was gone. I would wake up feeling sad every time
I am also still learning to overcome past trauma and codependency indoctrination ... and practicing living beyond grief and people pleasing... Knowing and communicating my boundaries. Thank you for sharing.
For me putting myself last cane from Christianity, we were brainwashed into thinking that if you aren’t serving people constantly then you’re evil. We’re taught that we have to put ourselves last to make god happy. But since leaving I got out of that, we have to put ourselves first in order for us to be able to give back, we must pour into ourselves first in order to help pour into others. Helping people is always good but we must help ourselves and love ourselves first ❤ resting is a beautiful thing. Yes we are worthy we were born worthy
It’s so interesting when I became Christian, I learnt the most about rest, and being still and surrender and letting go. It was more freedom than anything❤
I'm 35, married with 3 kids and doing this now. For them initially because I'm learning still to do it for myself. My body is breaking down. But I put my foot down. No more. I too started life caring for others. And I'm raising my daughters to put themselves first. Always. To only have people in their lives who only add to their lives. To only have kids if and when they want to and have their back 100% if they do. I'm not perfect. But capitalism and misogyny has no place in my home. To see our part in injustice and fight it. It's hard. It's so hard. I'm rooting for you and for us. For all of us.
I’m here because this title spoke to me. I have been performing all my life and now I’m 49 and I feel a bit lost. I got divorced in 2020. Became officially a single parent. I was the precocious child, then the good daughter. Now I’ve come out. I’m exhausted but don’t know how to ‘rest’ because I’ve been over extending myself. I don’t know if I’m making sense.
Yes, you are making plenty of sense...i completely identify...me and you are very much alike in the aspect of "been serving people my whole life" and just trying to figure out this whole learning who I am thing and learning to pour into myself before anyone or anything ever again 💯🤞
I just had an interview and I feel a bit drained from boasting about all the things I have accomplished in my career so much. It was a suprising feeling because I was so energetic and excited beforehand. I realized the ways I used to serve is not the same way I would choose to now... I want more rest and peace while doing good work, less going above and beyond!
Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!! WOW. This is deeply profound (and it resonates so muuuch). It's so beautiful, and low key, painful? I think about the load we put on ourselves. You know? How heavy the weight and how draining the pull. 🥹💛🫂🌺🌻 I'm loving this for yooooou. Being like... Actually... I need a change and trusting it. I'm in a similar place... I feel like I'm going through a heavy overhaul... But it's resulting in doing way less and going so much slower (and it's frightening). 😅☺️💛🫂🌺 You just inspire me so muuuuch. 🥹 I really hope your interview went well! And I celebrate you even recognizing the shift in yourself! Absolutely LOVELY. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🌺🌺🌺🌺💛💛🌻
I want to thank you for this! It inspired me to write a meditation because when you said "stop auditioning," whew! So many of us have spent our entire lives auditioning, begging, pleading to be seen as worthy when we already are!
Putting myself last became part of my personality sadly due to childhood trauma. This new reality of centering myself is very odd and feels unnatural. Being called selfishness was akin to unaliving growing up which is insane. Great video.
This message, especially the first 10 minutes, was exactly what I needed today and put so many things together. Especially in regards to being okay with not being important -- let all that go and just be. It's okay to be. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing the wisdom and truth you're working through as you continue to blossom into the amazing woman you are! Another great episode full of rich gems for the soul. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting this out for the world to find and hear. Your reflections have given me the language and perspective I needed to view my own thoughts and feelings that I am unsure about. 2 questions for you: firstly, how did you start your self reflections? Did it start with journaling, writing music, meditation, taking walks, therapy? Secondly, when you are doing your self reflection, does your mind tend to wander? When I attempt to think about why I think or feel the way I do about a topic I find my mind getting caught up on little details, or going off into other trains of thought, and having a hard time coming back to my original topic of reflection. How do you manage that?
I wonder if the Sabbath day was to teach us how to say no and stop moving as a way to honor god. Not a sabbath we had to keep holy, but a sabbath that keeps us holy by teaching a lesson of pausing. Just a thought.
This is too TRUE! What's worse is when you are the only person you can rely on but you've been programmed to believe that you are an unreliable source unless everyone else approves. 😩
@@mianlee7382 Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!! 😭😭😭🫂🌞🌺🌻 Oh em geeeeeee! You get iiiit! 🎯‼️ This is exactly the unlearning that's happening. To even see myself as a valid source or authority over my life is HARD 😭 I'm so used to following other people's guidance or advice... Or just deferring to other folks altogether (just taking myself out of the Equation). 🫂🫂🫂 You're totally not alone. We're gonna get this. 🥹💛🫂 One day at a time. 🥰🌺🌻
Ooooof. Yes, I felt this so deeply.
@@alexfromoakland2862 🥹🫂🫂🫂🌻💛🌞
This is why reparenting and self validation is critical!! ❤
“When you don’t have much and you’re trying to audition for enoughness, you’re over giving” ~Alecia Renece
You’re saving my life, Alecia. Thank you so very much. ❤️
We're also taught that if we literally cannot break our backs to serve others, then we are weak. That's a lie that I got free from... And still staying mindful to stay free from that.
When people say "it's because you don't love yourself", it's giving victim blaming. A better question for people who think this way to consider would be: "who didn't love this person, and how were they treated that they find it so hard to love themselves?" We tend to judge, but we need to shift into a space of trying to understand instead.
Yessss people never ask questions and try to get to the root of the actual problem!
I used to have this recurring dream that I was all dressed up at a fancy banquet or event being a hostess serving and taking care of other people. There was some really delicious looking food on the table. Whenever I got done working and was ready to eat, everything was gone. I would wake up feeling sad every time
I am also still learning to overcome past trauma and codependency indoctrination ... and practicing living beyond grief and people pleasing... Knowing and communicating my boundaries. Thank you for sharing.
“i’ve been a stranger to myself for 30 years” phew 😮💨 heard and felt. tysm for sharing your journey ❤
This one pushed me!!
Every message is always on point. 👏🏽👏🏽 May we all remember: we are enough simply because we exist. ♥️
For me putting myself last cane from Christianity, we were brainwashed into thinking that if you aren’t serving people constantly then you’re evil. We’re taught that we have to put ourselves last to make god happy. But since leaving I got out of that, we have to put ourselves first in order for us to be able to give back, we must pour into ourselves first in order to help pour into others. Helping people is always good but we must help ourselves and love ourselves first ❤ resting is a beautiful thing. Yes we are worthy we were born worthy
It’s so interesting when I became Christian, I learnt the most about rest, and being still and surrender and letting go. It was more freedom than anything❤
My sis put me on to your channel. Thank you so much for walking in your truth and authenticity. Thank you for your openness. ❤❤
I'm 35, married with 3 kids and doing this now. For them initially because I'm learning still to do it for myself. My body is breaking down. But I put my foot down. No more.
I too started life caring for others. And I'm raising my daughters to put themselves first. Always. To only have people in their lives who only add to their lives. To only have kids if and when they want to and have their back 100% if they do. I'm not perfect. But capitalism and misogyny has no place in my home. To see our part in injustice and fight it.
It's hard. It's so hard. I'm rooting for you and for us. For all of us.
It is hard actually very hard!
Im so exhausted and tired all the time!
AMEN!
The miseducation is real especially with the process of having to unlearn what you learned already.
Dear Alecea, you make this world a better place, love from Nigeria 🇳🇬
I’m here because this title spoke to me. I have been performing all my life and now I’m 49 and I feel a bit lost. I got divorced in 2020. Became officially a single parent. I was the precocious child, then the good daughter. Now I’ve come out. I’m exhausted but don’t know how to ‘rest’ because I’ve been over extending myself. I don’t know if I’m making sense.
Yes, you are making plenty of sense...i completely identify...me and you are very much alike in the aspect of "been serving people my whole life" and just trying to figure out this whole learning who I am thing and learning to pour into myself before anyone or anything ever again 💯🤞
I resonate so much with this video! Thank you so much for sharing!
Alecia you are God sent. You speak any heart and so much more. Thank you. This is vulnerable and resonates.
🥹💛🫂🌺🌻 I'm sending you so much love!!! Thank you so much for even listening. I'm SO glad this resonates with yooou 🥹💛🫂🌺 we got this!
I just had an interview and I feel a bit drained from boasting about all the things I have accomplished in my career so much. It was a suprising feeling because I was so energetic and excited beforehand. I realized the ways I used to serve is not the same way I would choose to now... I want more rest and peace while doing good work, less going above and beyond!
Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!! WOW. This is deeply profound (and it resonates so muuuch). It's so beautiful, and low key, painful? I think about the load we put on ourselves. You know? How heavy the weight and how draining the pull. 🥹💛🫂🌺🌻 I'm loving this for yooooou. Being like... Actually... I need a change and trusting it.
I'm in a similar place... I feel like I'm going through a heavy overhaul... But it's resulting in doing way less and going so much slower (and it's frightening). 😅☺️💛🫂🌺 You just inspire me so muuuuch. 🥹 I really hope your interview went well! And I celebrate you even recognizing the shift in yourself! Absolutely LOVELY. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🌺🌺🌺🌺💛💛🌻
I want to thank you for this! It inspired me to write a meditation because when you said "stop auditioning," whew! So many of us have spent our entire lives auditioning, begging, pleading to be seen as worthy when we already are!
i can relate as someone seen as reliable and helpful to others. when it came to focusing on me, knowing what my own needs are I had no idea.
Putting myself last became part of my personality sadly due to childhood trauma. This new reality of centering myself is very odd and feels unnatural. Being called selfishness was akin to unaliving growing up which is insane. Great video.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
Your videos bless my spirit ❤ Thank you 😊
This message, especially the first 10 minutes, was exactly what I needed today and put so many things together. Especially in regards to being okay with not being important -- let all that go and just be. It's okay to be. Thank you!
I’m 42 and still trying to figure out who I am.
Sometimes I feel so ashamed because I don’t know who I am.
I’ve never put myself first.
Thank you for sharing the wisdom and truth you're working through as you continue to blossom into the amazing woman you are! Another great episode full of rich gems for the soul. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
So relatable.
Hey sis, you haven't popped up for 3 months. So glad to see you 😁❤️
So true! Have you read Purple Hibiscus. It speaks to some of these topics I feel.
I love you and your messages Alecia!❤️❤️❤️ Thank you so so much!
❤❤❤
@@msdeeds4165 💛🥰🌻🫂🌞🌺
I'm so proud of you 🫶🏾
I'm sending you lots of love and appreciation🦋
Great conversation ❤❤
Thank you so much for being here and sharing space and time with me, Denice 🥹🫂🌺💛🥰🌞 I'm so glad this resonates with you!
❤
Thank you Alecia ❤
Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting this out for the world to find and hear. Your reflections have given me the language and perspective I needed to view my own thoughts and feelings that I am unsure about.
2 questions for you: firstly, how did you start your self reflections? Did it start with journaling, writing music, meditation, taking walks, therapy? Secondly, when you are doing your self reflection, does your mind tend to wander? When I attempt to think about why I think or feel the way I do about a topic I find my mind getting caught up on little details, or going off into other trains of thought, and having a hard time coming back to my original topic of reflection. How do you manage that?
💯
I wonder if the Sabbath day was to teach us how to say no and stop moving as a way to honor god. Not a sabbath we had to keep holy, but a sabbath that keeps us holy by teaching a lesson of pausing. Just a thought.
Alecia, is it okay to email you? I have something to offer relating to what was said in the video about you trying learn who you are.
Oop not the first 10 seconds reading me.
❤❤❤
❤
❤