The Remnant - As I Go

I'm taking deep breaths but my heart's beating faster,
please close your eyes, don't witness this disaster as I
try and hold your hand.
I lied when I said I had a plan; and I think you know
I'm making this up as I go.
I'm running my mouth but this conversation's dead,
good thing I planned out exactly what to say next.
I try and recite the words I picked. Yeah right,
my brain has burnt that script, and this is hopeless.
They say it's hard to think on an empty stomach,
well try thinking on an empty head.
I know my lips wanted to say something
but I think my tongue had a different plan.
The oxygen in my blood doesn't seem to know it's job well enough;
I'm trying act tough but I think you might be calling my bluff.
Cause I'm taking deep breaths but my heart's beating faster,
please close your eyes, don't witness this disaster as I
try and hold your hand.
I lied when I said I had a plan; and I think you know
I'm making this up as I go.
It's like the second you turn your head,
I think of everything that I could've said.
I could have made you smile, I could have made you laugh;
but you're turning back now, I'm facing a black out.
I'll wake up in the aftermath.
The oxygen in my veins just can't seem to find it's way to my brain;
I'm trying to act brave but I'm afraid of everything I might say.
So I'm taking deep breaths but my heart's beating faster,
please close your eyes, don't witness this disaster as I
try and hold your hand.
I lied when I said I had a plan; and I think you know
I'm making this up as I go.
If I could put into words every twisted syllable,
the thoughts that make my head hurt,
I'd be so original, I'd write a song and when you heard
you'd see how difficult it is to keep my speech unslurred.
I know that's typical but I guess that's how things work;
I tried to simplify this, I think I might it worse.
But if my heart beats fast, I'm glad it's beating fine;
I wish I'd thought of that before we said goodbye.
You don't have to close your eyes, I'll mess up either way;
find a way to get tongue tied without a work to say,
but with everything, I need you to know
even when it seems I didn't mean to choke,
every dead end and every wrong road
is part of this plan that I'm making up as I go.