“We have 2 kids & $0 invested, but refuse to get 9-5 jobs”
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- Опубліковано 27 чер 2024
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Callie and Travis, 36 and 39. They have two kids and live in southern Texas near the ocean. They’ve made a conscious decision to run their own small businesses without the pressure of climbing a corporate ladder. But how relaxed is too relaxed? Callie is ready to get serious; is Travis?
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Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Any podcasts on psychology with spending "savings/ investments" to live temporary while transitioning to laid off/ new work??
Thank you for reiterating this point. Most peoples finances are shrouded in mystery not only to others but also to themselves. Having these open conversations is SO helpful. Not talking about this couple specifically but it is: interesting and provocative to see the ways people are avoidant of the things that matte and what different things played into that avoidance. It helps me take a look at my own patterns. I hope people will keep sharing their stories and that people will show them respect. . I love your interview style and your respect for the people and the open minded value you seem to give to every individual. I’ll be honest I was resistant to you because I only saw short clips that didn’t resonate with me. I’m glad o decided to listen to a whole episode. I am getting a lot from this. If I may make a request/ suggestion- I would love if you would number your UA-cam videos the same as the podcasts are numbered. I love to watch an episode if I have time but sometimes I need to get other things done and will want to finish an episode I started on UA-cam on the podcast and vice versa. Often I start with the podcast and finish with video. I think it would help people who see you on Instagram find the episode on UA-cam more easily. Thanks for the work you’re doing. It’s fabulous and life changing.
Can you please have someone on your team include the podcast episode number in the caption or description. I have been listening to your podcast on Spotify and you will mention to watch on UA-cam 59:12 to see the body language/full emotions to get a better understanding. Thank you for what you and your team do!
❤❤❤❤
Americans are special , holidays on credit cards 😂.
She keeps saying that he's smarter but the more I listen the more I realize that she is smarter than him. She didn't hesitate to give numbers and answers. She needs to realize that after college 4.0 means nothing. Some people are just book smart and not able to translate that to life skills.
Feels like he's hiding his assets either from his wife or the IRS. It's sus.
True….🙄
@@gigimunguia5136I kept wondering does he not pay taxes. Hii oh w can he not know what he & his business makes annually? 8:16
As a professor, I can 💯 corroborate this point.
Very true. But you don't know the guy though... It's easy to assume.
Surfers... it's always surfers.... My mom had a rule, "No contractors who surf" because she could look at the tides and know if the crew was going to show up. This is that guy.
Live in a coastal area, dislike surfers.
The only hustling he is doing is going to check the waves.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 damn.
Thank you I was hoping someone would jump on the occasion to make the stupid stereotype comment on surfers!
The dude is so chill! Why does he need any money at all?
I would have been super pissed if I gave Travis $4,000 to pay off debt and then he turns around and spends almost the exact same amount on a non-essential rack. She seems to be the only adult here and that's going to be a problem. If things don't change he will take them down the same route as his mom.
SAME! I would've insisted he "pay me back"
Same!!!
Yeah I would have been absolutely pissed if someone did that to me
She was pissed. But there’s some unspoken understanding in their relationship that nobody tells Travis anything that he doesn’t want to hear. So she plays mental gymnastics trying to get him to see without appearing to be a hag.
@@ayela562oh gawd. So true. I don’t know how she does it.
She basically said - We don’t fight but I am also not allowed to be upset with the choices he makes that negatively impact our family. She also contradicts herself in saying we can have hard conversations but his eyes glaze over and he zones out. She seems to be the one putting in a majority of the effort here.
I would not put all the blame on him. He did after all agreed to come on the show which is hard enough as it is. People zone out like he does for a number of reasons which include traumatic past experience, The wife could be coming off as too harsh when talking about money. She should change her approach and they both should see a marriage counselor. He did say he grew up poor so that could be something to do with it.
@@adam7349 oh I do not put all the blame on him, but I do believe that as Ramit has talked about in the past- she tells herself a story of how things are that don’t seem to align with reality when she talks about their situation. However, listening to the entire podcast, these two seem to be one of the most in sync couples at the end and did state they already implemented meaningful changes.
Omg so true, it seems like he’s zoning out most of the time 😂
@adam7349 The wife is NOT harsh. She makes no demands of a slacker husband that works part time, let's him dodge money conversations and is smiling through most of this interview.
If *that's harsh then you need a big wake up call.
@@deirdrekiely6187 I said she could be coming off as to harsh. We don't know how they talk about money outside of this one hour session and I also said they should both see a marriage counselor. Seems odd how this guy was at the top of his game and now he has no motivation. Most issues in a marriage is not a one person fault. He zones out for a reason. Find the reason and you will most likely be able to fix the problem. Like i said he had enough guts to come on this show and that is hard enough as it is. She also is the one that puts vacations on credit cards. Not all his fault.
The fact that she saved $4000 and gave it to him to save him from “stress” mirrors when she saved money to buy a car as a teen and then had it taken over as the family car (for more understandable reasons).
I had the exact same thought. She’s basically in the same money situation she was as a teen, taking the fall for everyone else’s poor planning and lack of financial discipline.
Yeah that was similar. She reminded me of passive- aggressive when she says she was pissed off with the decision afterwards….both times 🙄
Yup!!!!
It is somewhat telling that she frames extra money as security, as savings, as "our money" and he views extra money that has been contributed by both of them as "my money" and spends it freely without consultation.
Yes, it’s also telling that she is the one who pays for their kids’ clothes.
@@aprilm9379That part! Like wth but a tell as old as time. Smh
@@aprilm9379also how much you want to bet she does the majority of the child rearing?
@@TonyCox1351Who has time for child rearing when you need to catch the big waves.
She spoils him.. and spares his feelings 😢
After listening to Travis describe the money habits of his parents I was saddened. What happened to his mother is the story of so many women. She is eating spaghetti and her ex husband is living on an inheritance. When they were married, his mother was the person he saw juggling the finances. Now Callie is doing the same in her marriage with him. Callie should pay attention to what is happening here and protect herself and her children.
Exactly my feeling. I was so sad thinking how the debt on the truck could have instead been invested for her retirement so she could eat something else than spaghetti. Also wondered if Ramit would dig into how he was doing what his dad did - not worrying and letting his wife take on the burden.
Absolutely
Very well said.
CALLIE READ THIS
His mom doesn’t want to just flat out ask for money but saying I’m eating the cheapest meal I could think of is basically begging. If my mom ever said that I’d be sending her thousands of dollars 😅
He came right out and said that he loves the huge amount of time off he gets, and declines additional clients to ensure he gets that time off. Not sure you can call that guy a "hustler". Simply owning your own business doesn't make you a hustler, if you work as little as possible.
🎯💯
🎯💯 That part. This is not hustling.
Minimum effort worker.
Married to a "hustler" that likes to be comfortable. His needs always come first, second and last. She doesn't have two children, she has three. Not sure how long it's going to take before she comes to that realization.
He married a hustler, yet he can out hustle her but doesn't 😂
The storm in the background is a a very apt metaphor for how debt and financial struggles can feel.
Lightning literally stuck when he said “I do not think about the long term” ⚡️
Exactly. I came here to say exactly that. It’s Shakespearean.
I was distracted!
A wise man once said, “It’s ok to be zen, but sooner or later someone’s going to come take your furniture away.”
That should be on a T-shirt 😂
Yeah….
😂
I can testify that this is true💯
😂😂😂😂😂
Callie savinf $30k as a single parent is amazing. ❤
Agreed, that was amazing to hear!!
It’s good but that should not be at the expense of her retirement. That should be in ADDITION to a fully funded retirement account.
I saw what you did there. She’s a single parent of three!
@@CambieSweets she said she was pregnant and a single mom so she saved 30k to prepare for the baby, but went back to work after 5 weeks.
@@jdelacruz1058 I was being facetious. I meant she has two children and her husband is the third. I’ve listened to the entire video since writing my first comment but I really do hope Travis is serious and all in on this with Callie.
PS - every time I listen to this podcast, I open up my Schwab account and add more money 😂😂😂 True story
Its really motivating lol.... Its like i want Ramit to be proud!
So true 😂
Haha…. Me too!!! Talking about motivational! 🤣🤣🤣
yeah
Best comment ever 😂
They love not being chained by a 9 to 5 job. But as I listened to them, they don’t realize that without a plan to look ahead for their wants or retirement, their choices are making them a slave to the hustle and debt. That, I think is a more unforgiving type of slavery. You cannot be hustling until you’re 80 or paying for your fun through credit cards forever. That’s not a rich life.
And… How is a job you’ve been doing for 13 years considered extra?
@@UserOfTheDaythose who have never been entrepreneurs can’t relate
@@ModernJewelryMakers Zen PT have a point: I have done both. Separately and simultaneously. I work for myself, like they do. And I can tell you that when the finances don't square up, it is time to think differently. A 9-5 job doesn't have to be 'slavery'. It can give financial stability and help recover financial control. It came come with opportunities to network and also added benefits. But many entrepreneurs and freelancers see it as a failure. With two kids, it ss time to start considering the pluses of stable income (in however shape it comes).
Preach. Running and growing a business so it gives you consistent income and true financial independence requires a lot more time and work than a 9 to 5 job. It's a high risk high reward venture. At least in a 9 to 5 job, your income is predictable and working more or less than those 8 hours per day is a personal choice you can control.
Do I 100% love my job? Not really, but I like not having to worry about having a stable income and a funded retirement. I don't like doing laundry or washing dishes either but if I want to have a clean home, I do what I gotta do.
@ohasumirawr absolutely! I've been both as well. And being able to free oneself from running a business full time requires a lot of work in the beginning but rewarding in the end. That requires a lot of sacrifice and planning. The point is, the lack of vision for the future either working 9 to 5 or being entrepreneur can take a turn for the worse if not careful with finances.
There is no bigger metaphor for this situation than the massive thunderstorm behind Travis.
😂😂😂😂😂
😂
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
He got truck accessories and a whole boat for himself with a mom who may or may not always eat dinner while she is paying for kids’ clothes and counseling. Nope. I am not sure they align on even basic monthly priorities, let alone “big picture”🧐 .
He’s holding her back from a good life and fulfilling her potential…
She is allowing him to hold her back and not fulfill her potential.
this guy is honestly such an absolute sham it's making me angry watching this video and it's so so sad to see a bright, smart, radiant woman with someone like him 😭 not only that, she talks him up, defends and apologises for him and turns the other cheek when he is gaslighting her. what an absolutely horrible situation to be in. i hope she gets the courage to realise she deserves SO much more
This guy likes to do what he wants and then beg forgiveness later.
I didn’t like that he said, when asked about his feelings regarding the van items, “you don’t want to disappoint anyone in your life.” Um sir, that is your wife. She’s not just “anyone in your life.” He doesn’t think about long term…with two kids and a wife! This woman has a third child.
😂😂😂😂100!!!
FACTS. She's a married single mom.
No wonder more of us are happily single and childfree because dudes like him are incredibly common.
Man child for sure
Most relationships I see around me 😢
One of the many nightmares that fathers have regarding their daughters is this dude.
😂
If he wasn’t handsome he’d be having a lot harder time in life
An underachieving Valedictorian..... sad. I'm all for him living an authentic life that he enjoys but does he realize that he has to save for his family?
I am happy I don’t have a daughter! I would be mad as hell with this guy
He says what he thinks someone wants to hear. He's smart but doesn't use his gift to do well for his family's future.
Living life like you’re in your 20’s is great, right up until you’re no longer in your 20’s. Their children have a rough road ahead.
Closer to 40 than they are to 20 hell her kid is fast approaching 20
Agreed - this lifestyle is great when you don't have a lot of responsibilities, but it's very different when you have bills to pay and mouths to feed. That's a major reason people choose "safe" jobs.
The golden financial rule in a relationship : if one is an entrepreneur the other one MUST have a 9 to 5 stable job to hedge the risks.
Insurance…and they have kids!
Hell yeah! What's more, you both work a full-time job. You spend your extra time building the business.
Yep. I am self-employed and my husband does the 9-5. Works for us!
Yep,I had the public sector healthcare job in Ireland for the past 20 years of my working life and my hubby was self employed and sometimes in a paid job. He made sure he paid his stamps (for social security and a state “old age” pension in retirement) and a few preserved pensions from earlier jobs. Now we’re both retired and comfortable af we haven’t tons of money but we have such good state supports based on our contributions over our worklife we haven’t any worries about healthcare costs (free) dental (free fillings and cleaning and subsidised everything else bar orthodontics) and energy credit (€35 pm) and a free TV licence, all small but helps and great peace of mind. We also can travel as we want, spent two months visiting kids and doing road trips in Australia and New Zealand already this year, heading to Krakow this week for 5 days and plan lots of small breaks and every year. I think Travis is wildly coasting or surfing 🏄♂️ while his mam lives on spaghetti and SS? 😢
Honestly, this man seems to have very little to no motivation. He just doesnt seem serious. It seems like he puts his needs over his family. That would scare the crap out of me as a wife.
OMG yes. This is exactly what I thought. He would drive ne crazy not knowing HIS OWN business finance.
99% of women do this time for men to respect themself ...
Yeah, but she seems neurotic and annoying.
Seems like she is caring for an adult child. He has it made!
This man would definitely not be for me. He has no ambition and drive, and to me he’s just a deadweight.
Telling her that she took the wind out of his sails when he was really the one who did that to her.
And he took her savings.
That he did not even think for a second during all the shopping and signing process for the new loans, says it all. 🙄
Right... And then later he tells a different story about being sad for hurting her... BS
I was married to this type of guy, trust me, it doesn't end well. Seven years in when his business finally started to take off, he no longer wanted to be married. So we're divorced, and within a year collectors started to call me looking for him, he's selling one of our houses he got in the divorce, and he's a mess (bought 3-4 motorcycles, lifted truck, two vehicles for twins wo learning permits, int'l travel, etc.). My net worth has doubled in 3 years since divorce, I'm pretty sure he's almost broke and barely working to maintain his income. Oh, and he calls every 2-3 months trying to get back together. We had a good life and I gave him time, space and support to do "his own thing." I hope this guy is a good guy and not a covert narcissist. I'm mad at myself for covering for my ex and often making excuses for him. I'm the true dumb arse.
It was manipulative AF.
This part! Made me furious!!
My father told me "What you see is what you get" in a person. Travis is who he is and is not financially motivated the same as Callie. Callie is not going to force him to change if he prefers simplicity. In the beginning, I am sure it was charming, now it is not working as they approach 40. Finances are the #1 cause of divorce.
I was married to a “ Travis “ many years ago . He’s 62 now and lives in a run down apartment with no savings , working as a sales guy at an RV place, part time because he has health issues and can’t work more . He was a short term planner and used to say “ we could die tomorrow , let’s enjoy the present “
I’m 50 , self employed , have paid off my home and car . Zero debt and a little over 400k in retirement. When we divorced we both had next to nothing . He never changed his mindset and never grew up .
Travis should be ashamed of himself , spending his days surfing , while his mom eat spaghetti?
Callie , you’re playing small by staying married to Travis . You and your CHILDREN deserve better
100% agree, I see it all around me. Good for you 💪
I appreciate guests coming on this show and sharing everything most of us would never want spotlighted. We all can learn something from every couple featured. Wishing them the best of luck!
Agree. This couple shows that even good hearted people make financial mistakes. We are all just trying to figure it out. I appreciate the lessons. It is super motivating as well. Investing more because of these stories 😅.
This guy is absolutely frustrating - a complete car crash of a man. No drive, no motivation, a complete coaster.
She’s going to regret giving up the fast track for life with this guy.
😁
🥴 yup
She may never figure that out. Some people don't. 🙄
Thinking the same 😊
I gasped when Callie said she is the one that pays for the kids’ clothing and it’s always been that way! Also gasped when he said he works an average of 20-30 hrs a week yet has all these big dreams. I genuinely think that towards the end Travis came to realize something has to give! Wish these two the best.
I'm impressed with how kind and patient Ramit was with Travis.
God bless Callie. She truly wants more for herself and her family. Travis is quietly waiting for his inheritance from his father, hence his lax demeanor. He's chillin in life.
She’s gonna end up eating spaghetti out of a can.
There is something ominous and foreboding having that storm in the background.
Let's go.
I am a small business accountant and business owners who don't have a grasp on what they actually make are incredibly common. Many of them intermingle business and personal finances so much that it becomes a nightmare to do their bookkeeping and tax preparation. Unfortunately I have a bit of a jaded view of small business owners now, as it seems like at least half of them turn a blind eye to their responsibilities in running a business. An accountant can only do so much when you can't get good information.
Very true. I own a medical billing company and see business owners pay their copays and deductibles with business checks and credit cards. I don't doubt they try to expense those payments.
@@ppmny7015are medical billing companies still lucrative with emerging AI technology? (Serious question, I used to do rev cycle mgmt for an urgent care before I switched careers)
As a small business owner, I’m amazed how few fellow small business owners know how much they actually make. Stresses me out just thinking about it.
100% true. So many sall business owners want to work their passion job and forget half of it is about keeping the BUSINESS afloat and you must know how to do that.
As a small biz owner I think that’s wild! There’s a fine line between a business and a hobby when u don’t know numbers
People think working for themselves is liberating. As the wife of a self employed person I can tell you this can’t be further from the truth . The anxiety that hustle/grind culture and self-employed life cannot be overstated. If my husband gets sick or has a particularly slow month he is so vulnerable. I on the other hand have a job with a boss but have the health benefits paid vacation sick pay etc. I earn more and when I get sick I don’t worry I won’t be able to pay the bills. These millennials were sold a very false dream. There is nothing freeing about living a precarious life that can blow up the second someone gets injured or sick or the car breaks down.
Agree. I became self employed in 2020. Thankfully I am doing very well (exceeding my previous income). But the vulnerability is a mental burden. I realize I need to live a careful financial life. Paying my debt down fast, frugal spending, working hard. Self employment for me will become a liberating move, after 6-7years of hard work and discipline. In summary, I live as if my income could disappear tomorrow. When I talk with friends they say "wow, living the life hey , lots of time off,earning loads of money!". Um, yeh, lose the rose tinted glasses hey.
Truth bomb. Preciarous is the word. Even when doing very well (i have been working for myself for close to 7 years now), you always have to be very careful when booking that holiday, taking a day off. It takes great planning and a strong dose of realism: no, I can't put 'that' on a credit card because I simply don't have the cash to pa for it. So...iIke you said, holidays, days off sick, time off are all subsidised by the employer and so is a good retirement pension and added benefits. This coupe have a very distorted idea of what it is to be employed. And he is not an 'entrepreneur', he is a self-employed contractor. Very different concepts. Entrepreneurs, by their own very nature, tend to put a lot of time in the businesses, a lot, until the moment they can take the foot off the pedal... by which time they are possibly very well off financially. This is not their case and if he says he 'values' is time, he should put it towards a more financially sustainable end. He can't afford to say 'no' to work right now.
All your “benefits” may cost your employer less than $10K/yr. Remember, the company makes times off of what they pay you for your labor. And you work for an entrepreneur yourself. Just admitting you are not as good as them without probably ever trying. And yes, we may have a slow month, but it is usually predictable/seasonal. Even if it is not, we still have substantial financial reserves because we make multiples of what we would if we were to work for someone in the same field. And if you are an entrepreneur with years of experience and still make the same amount as if your were employed, get out and work for someone else; it’s not for you.
@@1998londoner How is an entrepreneur ‘very different’ from a self-employed contractor? Who handles the accounting, billing, phone answering, dealing with angry customers, social media, etc., except for the contractor, their family members, and the people they employ? Or do you think the contracts for contractors will magically appear on their own?!
I agree with you 100%!
The dude should just get a job, he doesn't seem cut out for small business.
He could probably find a small company that thinks the same was he does. I've heard of a few places over the years that stop work when the surfs up lol
It doesn't seem like he would last in a full time job
That storm in the background was freakishly beautiful lol
It was like foreshadowing something spoooky and ominous
This man lives like someone who knows they have an inheritance coming. Some people don’t think too much about retirement because they’re banking on living lavish with that inheritance money.
Dude is lucky she puts up with his stuff. He should have been kicked to the curb.
She really does handle everything and thinks ahead, he doesn’t. The fact he saw the extra money and bought a rack for surfing… dude come on. Y’all talked about this, that extra $ was for savings and debt pay off!! Dude is just clueless and doesn’t give a shit about himself and family for the future. He’s fine just working 20-30yrs a week, surfing a lot, and having lots of time off in winter
Love how articulate and open she is. Sounds like she has a great head on her shoulders and she is a great partner
You can value your time over money and have your financial life together. He gets a lot of free passes on his choices.
I agree.
I feel like if you value your time you should work harder to value your future time. Work in the present so you have more time in the future. He’s gonna be working till he dies it seems
@@upnorthsociety6146 No, she is going to work until she dies. She is the one taking all the responsibility so he can have all that free time. Is he has to support the family, just like she does, he will not be working 1 hour a day..
if you are smart, money buys you time too.
That's not true...when you have your financial life together you can start valuing time over money
My advice to Callie is keep your finances COMPLETELY separate from this guy if you really do want to stay with him. It's not romantic or conventional but it's necessary. Always have enough to support yourself and kids entirely without him so that if/when he cant contribute his share, youre good.
Or just live your life happy and single without feeling responsible for the grown up next to you. You're already a Mother xx
On one hand they want to make just enough to take care of what they have now, but without money for retirement, you’re leaving the financial burden to your kids to take care of you. Remember that your kids are only kids for a small portion of their overall lives…don’t ruin the relationship you’ll have with them as adults
But Travis is not taking care of his mom, even tho she's broke. No shade on him, I'm sure he loves his mom and wants to help her. But she is apparently struggling.
👌🏿👌🏿
@@melissam7067shade on him is warranted his mom is often begging him for money by stating how she’s going to be eating poor.
Travis is just irritating point blank...
When I was a teen I knew how much my parents made and how much they spent on the bills. And that they had debt. I think this is so important and it helped me make life decisions to line up with how I wanted to live. I hope this call gives them the reality check that they need.
It’s amazing to me just how much psychology there is to money. I have gotten tons of value out of listening to these podcasts. Also, after listening to all the FI related podcasts that call for “saving 50%+ of your income and consistently DCA into VTSAX”, but rarely address the psychology behind investing and personal finance - these are a breath of fresh air.
Thank you. I'm so glad you find my material helpful!
I don't understand how someone can hit 40 and still only think as far as tomorrow. He is not a hustler, if he was, he would be adding clients. They are setting themselves up for their kids to have to take care of them when they are older. I'm so grateful that my Mom has enough money to not have to worry.
At the age of 40, the VAST MAJORITY of people only think about tomorrow. This is the entire point of the podcast! To show you how common our irrational money behaviors are.
@@ramitsethithat it's so common is what makes it so disturbing.
Are you a financial therapist? I ask this because the way you speak of money is different from anyone on UA-cam. It’s really intriguing
Yes he has a master's degree in Psychology from Stanford University.
Not sure how it will work out for them long-term if she is ambitious while he is mediocre. I wonder if she’d be with him if it weren’t for their child. It was heartbreaking to hear that his mom is eating spaghetti due to financial hardships while he has a boat, truck and accessory payments, an upcoming $5k vacation, etc... How a child treats their parent is very telling.
To me, the way I decide if I can afford something is two questions:
1. Can I pay cash for this thing or experience, right now?
2. If I pay cash for this, right now, will it affect my ability to pay for my real needs over the next three months?
If one answer is a No, I can't afford the item or experience!
Absolutely 💯
Makes sense, is there a cut off to your thought process? How would that work for an emergency, a vet visit, a medical procedure, some big repair to a car or home, a car, a house, things like that?
Took me 20 years to do 1. Why is credit so seductive? Why did I not look at it more critically and not like free money?
@@tlzanglyou could reason that an “emergency” will happen at some
Point so establish a number and set an emergency fund. Many suggest 3-6mo of expenses. Can also set aside a percentage% of your house value for expected repairs annually. Also set up a car repair /vet/medical/whatever you need in your life fund so that you can afford it.
Unless it's a house, the 2nd point should be "If I paid for this in cash right now, would I notice and think about it financially?" If the answer is yes, I can't afford it.
I get not wanting a 9 - 5. I have managed to make just as much if not more as an independent contractor. But when you have CHILDREN, I think at least ONE spouse should have a steady income while the other runs an entrepreneurial business, until it builds up to a point where the 9 -5 job can be replaced.
Yes that would be the responsible adult thing to do, something these folks aren’t familiar with
Of get a 9-5 for a while (contract) and see how much lighter life can be every month when the bills come around and you suddenly have an emergency to fund... He doesn't seem a true entrepreneur, he wouldn't be declining work to have free time if he were. True entrepreneurs are driven to make it work.
Here's the thing, both Ramit and his wife are entrepreneurs. I don't think any of us would be critical of them having kids right now and staying at their independent businesses. Being an entrepreneur isn't the problem here. Being unstable entrepreneurs is the problem. They need consistent, stable income sufficient for them to make a spending plan with, and then if they have extra busy months, they can blow a bunch of it on fun stuff like accessories for the van, so long as they know they will have the consistent money every other month. If they don't have consistent earnings, then they need to be saving during the busy months for the lean months so that they can keep their budget level.
I agree starting a business is a lot of work. I don't even have kids and I still work two jobs and am planning on starting two small businesses, writing a book, writing a screenplay, and planning on producing my film but I still got my two jobs because I have to make sure I make enough profit from my small business and movie. Every movie doesn't make it big at the box office. Yes it's a good screenplay but I am still not going to give up my job like that. There's nothing wrong with having a job, I just want keep it forever but at least some. She's making it seem like having a job is a bad thing. I got two jobs but I am not going to have them forever.
You don't leave your job until business can replace your income 2x.
Financial planner here - if someone can’t tell me what they make (or at least a decent range), it is a giant red flag. If your own partner doesn’t know what you make, time
For some serious discussions. You file a joint tax return! In my experience it usually means the other partner is hiding something, whether it be an addiction or some other spending problem. What they are both contributing to their household expenses isn’t enough, she admitted to buying the children clothes, etc. I think a lot needs to be done in terms of what they both actually spend. I have a feeling a lot of his spending is hidden either in his separate bank account or by using cash.
20:00 this bit is quite telling of his character, unfortunately ‘chill’ and ‘go with flow’ don’t fare well when it comes to serious, long-term, goal-oriented family finance. The carefree hobo lifestyle he desires doesn’t work when he’s a full adult & dad of 2 (read: responsibility). He really needs to come to some hard reckoning of his behaviour and start to take responsibility for the family, like his wife does.
Maybe it's just me, but if someone won't dream about and plan for our long term future, I would assume they don't plan to be with me long-term.
💯🚩
Wondering how she’s convinced they’re a “team” and “great communicators” when their finances are so separate as a MARRIED couple. Why did you get married if you’re still splitting 50/50 😂
Finance is only a part of a relationship. I know couples who are a team finance wise, but one sucks at giving each other emotion support or one person having to take more responsibility in running the household.
@@gKaasboer what you’re describing is in fact the opposite of a “team finance wise” 😆 if one person must take on most of the emotional burden that isn’t a team
@@alexisballard1459 I didn't make my point right, what I was trying to say is that a couple can be a great team in one area of life but suck in another. We cant judge their relationship based on only the finance side of it.
@@gKaasboer the point of this podcast is to make the world realize finances are intertwined into every other aspect of relationship - your financial dynamic creates a lot of other dynamics in life they aren’t as separate as the world likes to think
She was in denial but I think she's starting to wake up from her fantasy.
The fact that she just asked her friends these questions about money and investments is so honest and humble. We should all be more open in that way!
Notice they barely mention their own children? Alaska vacation for two. His hungry mom gets money when he needs her childcare services. The wife is slowly waking up and may soon recognize the real problem is a poverty of spirit.
The thunderstorm was a paid actor
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Holy crap... I just turned 40 this year. I make 6 figures. Have $250k invested. I feel like I'm behind the 8 ball. These people seem like they are yoloing themselves into the ground.
Guy is behaving like a child.
Mad props for the phrase "yoling themselves into the ground." Well done, mate.
Happy belated birthday!
Lmaoooooo!!!!!
They don't want to be slaves to a 9 to 5, but are now slaves to minimum wage "businesses". These two have no idea what it takes to run a successful business in order for that business to provide security, wealth and ultimate freedom of time and choice. They clearly haven't even invested the time and effort to try to learn what it takes to be a real entrepreneur.
Clueless much? It's like the blind leading the blind. Little sense and zero leadership in this partnership. Good luck to their kids.
But here is the thing: you get money for your time between 9-5 . All this whining about 9-5 slavery seems to me very detached from reality.How many millions of people work much more than that? I think it is a priviledge to have work, period. But of course, under a contract of employment you are accountable for your time between 9-5 pm. He seems to have to have his cake and east it too. Not a responsible way to be when you have kids and you are not swimming in money
@@1998londoner Good points. Gratitude and reality eludes many. Few people are actually good business people. Statistically, most must be employees. Some employees make 80k while some make 160k for the same 9 to 5. Learning to maximize one's skills is most important.
Callie definitely has her act together financially. She should lead her family financially. Her past shows that she knows how to save. As a 60 yo person, my advise to Travis is the less you work in your 30’s, the longer you will have in your old age. It’s just math. The time you are taking off now will be working hours when you are ready to retire. Work hard…earn as much as while you are young and invest. Tomorrow comes really fast!!!!
I wouldn't be planning for a 5k vacation if i were them.
They could have given his mom $200 a month and kept $100 a month without the accessories. Thats huge. But the mindset of “I can get the thing and ONLY pay $300 a month” is a real thing. A lot of us do that for sure, I can admit I do sometimes
I was thinking the same thing about the $300 and I've also made decisions on purchases based on "the payment"...you're definitely not alone on that!
He is clearly very selfish and only talks about wanting to help his mom but doesn’t really have any intention of ever doing it. Actions will always speak louder than words.
Agree. It makes me sick that he buys unnecessary truck accessories while his elderly mother is scraping by ....and he KNOWS it.
Don’t tell me your priorities. Tell me how you spend your money.
@@Susym242his mom will be sobbing if she ever sees this episode. She obviously doesn’t want to directly ask for help but the fact they aren’t even going to have a better future than her is heartbreaking.
So many red flags with him. I’m genuinely worried for this woman.
The dad/husband needs to put his family first like the wife is. His fun purchase was irresponsible and not fair to his wife or his kids. Where are the family values these days??
I still can’t believe what he did by financing that truck accessory in the same amount that she gave him to help relieve his monthly payment. I don’t know how anyone could blame her if she had ended things right then and there, but props to her for being so forgiving.
She’s very intelligent.
Not being sarcastic. Legit she knows what she’s talking about.
yeah, she really respects her husband and praises his intelligence while somewhat underappreciating her own. She's on the ball.
she's the intelligent one for sure... travis is only good at school from what i can tell. not good at anything else.
This situation will blow up sooner rather than later. I don’t even understand how they pay their bills and support their children!
I can attest to my 9-5 providing plenty of flexibility for me as I took the time to choose a role and a company that had those values aligned with mine. Flexibility doesn’t only exist outside of corporate life - that is a story they believe and it is ruining their life
I wholeheartedly agree! I work a corporate job and have plenty of flexibility! I also have paid vacation, health insurance, and a 6% 401K match.
Agree! My corporate job allows me to feel like a SAHM but with a good salary, benefits, 401k and 6 weeks pto. I make breakfast for my kids before school then hug them and ask about their day when they walk back thru the door. When I turn off my computer, I don't think about the company.
exactly my experience
40 seconds in when he said “I don’t think in long term” and the lighting in the background struck…
The fact Travis is fine that his wife was solely paying for all the kids clothes and counseling and in the same breath is saying he doesn’t want to take on more clients because he values his time is insane. I hope he is able to grow into being a more supportive partner, and that she protects herself financially, I feel there is a lot of love between them but you can’t eat love in your old age.
I’m jaw dropped that the man didn’t even offer to help his mother or give her a lil money for groceries. He just shrugged it off.
Mom can barley ear
"We were middle class"
I bet mom tried really hard for him not to realize that they were poor growing up. And he takes it for granted.
I hope some of the previous couples who go into debt and opt out of retirement savings to provide worry-free, keeping-up with neighbors (and private school) childhood to their kids take a look into their future!
The kids won't help you, they might be thankful but their thanks will barely buy you spaghetti, SMH.
I agree 😐
Makes me sick that he buys car accessories while his mom eats spaghetti. Shameful.
Nah, he was off surfing 🏄♂️ or having lunch while mam opened her next can of spaghetti 🍝
Smart people that are bad with money are the toughest cases. I hope they find a path to financial wellness. They genuinely seem to love each other, but money can break relationships.
I commend this couple for meeting with Ramit. They have some real soul searching to do. Unfortunately, at this time, Travis loves Travis more than he loves his wife and kids. That seams harsh, but it's the truth. Real "men" provide for their family. Failure to plan is a plan to fail. Hopefully, this meeting will be the first step toward planning for the short term and the long term. 🙏.
Thank you for sharing this EP.
It will be great if your team can invite Callie and Travis to come again a year later so we can actually see the progress.
To both Callie and Travis, thank you for sharing your stories. You both are still young; you still have times to save and make a better future for yourselves and your children. Good luck.
This is something that I'd love to see for some of the other couples.
It doesn't have to be in the main series, but perhaps in the other Thu timeslot.
I’ve probably listened/watched 25 or so of these podcasts and this is the FIRST couple that followed up with ACTUAL changes. They set up and automated their investment accounts 🎉 bravo! Sure there’s still work to be done but congrats for actually taking that first step. 👏🏼
But they did add to savings account 🤔
They didn't say anything about a book keeper tho
And he didn’t say he threw his mother a couple dollars so she can eat a little….🙄
I think her being so strong has embedded in Travis's head that he can be laid back. He knows she will always make sure that they are good, if push came to shove.
Entrepreneurs work more than 9-5 employees. At 5p we’re done for the day. They always have to “hustle” to survive. At least one of them needs a steady income job 18:02
Yep, and I get 6 weeks paid vacation from my job, 2 weeks of jury duty paid, holidays paid, and I turn off my brain when I leave the building (actually it turns off at 10am, but dont' tell my boss). I leave at 4:30pm every day and some days I take a 2 hr lunch. My father was self-employed and worked 6 days a week, about 10 hrs each day. He took the whole month of December off each year since that was his seasonal slow period. He worked 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc. Times were super tough when he wasn't getting enough work to pay the bills. I remember not even having enough money to buy toothpaste and there were 6 of us in the family. My company also matches 6% of my 401k. You don't get any of that being self-employed.
If you’re an entrepreneur and you want to make enough to pay your bills and feel secure, then you need to hustle and work hard. They don’t seem to want to work hard. Ultimately, you don’t have to make a ton of money, but then you need to adjust your wants/ spending habits. It’s not common to have lots of time AND lots of money. Not without a lot of hard work first.
Yes he only worked 1 hour this day, and 30 hours on average per week. Seems like he coukd increase investments by a lot more by just working more than 1 hour a day for a start and perhaps even 40 pw! And still get flexibility, weekends, and holidays. Plus no lobger poor, can invest. Doesn't sound bad to me.
It's interesting how entrepreneurs demonize 9 to 5 work. Yet they come to 9 to 5 workers to support their businesses. 🤔
9 to 5 is absolutely demonic. Steady paycheck, 401K match, paid vacation, healthcare coverage. Who would want that??
Right? as a freelance business women, i view 9-5 as a paradise
9 - 5 does suck for most people but so many choose it for the stability, benefits and predictable paycheck.
Quit your 9-5 for 24/7 job and unpredictability… 90% of entrepreneurs or 2099 workers don’t make much. Ppl only see the success or highlights of these stories on social media.
They aren't entrepreneurs. The word is overused in the lexicon.
I’m an entrepreneur. That dude is NOT an entrepreneur. She is. It’s a mindset. It’s not “I want to be a child forever”. She needs to tell him to put on his big boy pants or GTFO. She’s clearly the adult here and needs to put the hammer down. She’s got the right mindset but is towing a giant anchor.
The husband has zero interest in any part of this. I see the wife working and pushing so hard to get him to do anything at all. The husband seems absolutely irresponsible with money. The wife is dying inside trying to get her family on a good path.
No relationship or marriage is ever 50/50, especially when there are children involved.
Totally. I was going to tell the same.
So he spends almost the same amount that she sacrificed from her savings on some accessories that he wanted. Unbelievably selfish.
I always appreciate the people who come on your podcast as - wow, how vulnerable they have to be! I appreciate that both Callie and Travis have chosen such a different path in life. It’s nice that at the end, Travis was connecting more with making a solid plan. All the best to both of them ❤
I’d love to see an episode with a family who has expensive medical challenges. It makes all the difference in the U.S.
Travis is living the good life at her expense.
Pretty simple. Dude just has to grind and get that care free surfer mentality lifestyle out of his head and focus on being a man and providing a future for his wife and kids. That lifestyle is cool if your single but it’s time to grow up and start putting 50-60 hour weeks into your business in the short term at least until you have something built you can actually sustain your lifestyle on.
Or working 50-60 hours a week drags you down so much that mental health spirals and your kids only remember their dad being depressed and a workaholic…
Can I afford it? Please do a whole video on this because I actually don't know how to decide. I've also never heard anyone within my circle discuss how they make these decisions.
The look on his face towards the end of the podcast says it to me. The realization that he actually has to work is precious. He won't be able to change as much as she wants.
THIS!!!
In any marriage, someone has to be the anchor. And someone has to be the sail. The problem with these two is that they both want to be the sail. All the time. Someone needs to get a 9-5 job to support the other partners' entrepreneurship
One or both of them need to get a 9-5 job to support their children until they become adults not the other persons business. If your business isn't making enough to cover the basics within two to five years, it's time pivot.
It should be him since his business is making so much less than her.
@@JF-vw9lv👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I would have agreed with the original poster if they did not have children. Your comment is spot on!
They don't even have to work 9-5. Each of them working part-time to have regular income would help.
Same! My husband is more of the risk taker, I’m more of the planner and honestly I can’t imagine my life with him or the times I’ve been the one to take over the wheel. We’re a team and complement each other
Damn I love Tuesdays
Hey Girl! your guy is lazy, laid back, NO ambition. He takes advantage of your income. Think about your kid's future. RED FLAG- you don't even know how much he makes!! Move out!!!
that fact that he didn't say how much he. made and she called it a mystery was a red flag to me. He's hiding something.
This is not a money problem, it’s a relationship problem. She’s a married single mom with a third adult child. She’s still young enough to salvage her financial situation but she’s going to have to drop the husband. She shouldn’t expect any child support without a legal order…maybe not even then.
Travis should get a job as he seems less serious about his business
I wonder if he has EVER worked for the man. Maybe he has always been an “entrepreneur “… not that he is good at it.
He clearly does not want to be forced to commit to a 9-5 job and 40 hours a week. He wants a freelance lifestyle.
@@deirdrekiely6187 he wants a freelance lifestyle?
Don’t we all.
But sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do. Especially when you have a family.
It’s a job, not a life sentence. A job adds more stability so they can both reach their goal.
Just by the way Travis talks about his business it’s not going to last. He best off downgrading it to a side hustle for now
My husband and I are retired now but the discussion about how the couple were raised really hit home with us. It made us realize that a big part of how we got to where we are now (good and bad), is actually based on our childhoods and our upbringing. Ramit, thank you for such a great podcast today.
The comments of this video are hilarious and so true. And are setting off alarm bells for me. I think I’m dating a version of this guy 😮👀
21:43 did he just say “have lunch”?!?!! OMG. Girl, you are a single mom. Runnnnnnnnnn😮
I was dying when he said he has lunch in his time off. How much you want to bet she makes lunch and does the dishes after 😂
It wasn't $300 per month over 12 months. It was $333 over 15. If you cannot do math or be honest, you shouldn't be unilaterally making important financial decisions.
I appreciate the honesty from this couple, and coming from a single mom home, it just drives home the fact that sometimes when you're so stuck on proving you can do things on your own, it takes away the responsibility from your husband. It's OKAY to be taken care of.
Many jobs today are flexible, this idea that its still 9-5 wiht a lunch break etc... They could be working LESS and making MORE and having more time for their kids, especially with a remote job.
Exactly. But you do need to work, not turn clients down.
"Not having a plan is planning to fail". -Someone
“If you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it everytime” - also someone
Failing to plan is planning to fail 👍
Roy Keane said it in Saipan when he flounced home after seeing the state of the training pitch and had a run in with Mick McCarthy (Ireland manager) about the Irish team in the World Cup - “Fail to prepare, prepare to fail”. Ireland hasn’t qualified since 😢
This is not just financial advice. This is marriage counseling.