Is Marriage the Key to Happiness and Wealth? One Sociologist Says Yes. | Amanpour and Company
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- Опубліковано 27 тра 2024
- Get married. This is the advice of sociology professor Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project. In a conversation with Michel Martin, Wilcox makes the case for marriage as a positive force for attaining happiness and prosperity. Wilcox joined the program from Charlottesville, Virginia.
Originally aired on May 3, 2024
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Amanpour and Company features wide-ranging, in-depth conversations with global thought leaders and cultural influencers on the issues and trends impacting the world each day, from politics, business and technology to arts, science and sports. Christiane Amanpour leads the conversation on global and domestic news from London with contributions by prominent journalists Walter Isaacson, Michel Martin, Alicia Menendez and Hari Sreenivasan from the Tisch WNET Studios at Lincoln Center in New York City.
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Oh, yes! Marriage is definitely the key to the happiness and wealth of many wedding planners and caterers.
“Defy the Elites” tells me all I need to know about this guy’s POV/agenda.
Who have studies shown is the happiest? Married men and single women.
Not even sure how that made the title of his book.. 🤔
The "elites" ARE getting married and having children.
Sort of breaks his own logic on the cover.
Also, ~70% of divorces are initiated by women. That says something right there.
The elites want you married and tending children so you aren’t aware of the inequality in this system or you are to busy to care.
This guys is like a classic misogynistic preacher, just without the garb
LMAO
The comments section gave me hope; people are not buying this guy's bologna!
Me thinks there might be something like being in the closet with this guy. Just sayin'
Marriage was a financial nightmare for me. Thanks no thanks once was enough
Modern expects a lot of their marriage, and each party expects too much out of life. Simplify your life and expects less and go with the flow.
Until the government throws away your tent or cardboard box while you're at work. @@yttean98
Another reason people are not getting married is that they don’t want to and have a good life without getting married.
Hit me up when that crippling loneliness and purposelessness kicks in.
💯
@rackedbound1648
You sound quite knowledgeable in those things... Seeing people much?
Psychologist with no statistical skills forgets that correlation does not mean causation. Here, I fixed the title for you.
I don’t have a university degree and I still understand this guy is a total buffoon
You really think you’re saying something huh? Cute.
Oh, the irony
Did he interview the wives as well? It is well known that men benefit from marriage but not so great for wives.
I know, I thought the same thing..
And I'm wondering where he's getting some of his data since some things he mentioned goes against some recent studies and statistics.
There is an uprising of young men out there who have trouble dating and blaming women for their problems - it's disturbing. My fear is that these were the type who were the abusers in past generations and women no longer need to get married to them. Women had no choice in my mother's generation.
Groups of lonely, rejected young men can be easily manipulated. They can easily become dangerous, especially if they feel like they've got nothing to lose.
This fellow should have written a book about that.
Not about how everyone deserves marriage, some men (and women) don't deserve to be in a relationship.
Exactly what I was thinking.
No this guy believes in the typical nuclear family and the patriarchy which is oriented around the private family unit and property ownership. Like he started the conversation claiming the left discourages marriage which is insane. Especially when you consider that marginalized groups are often left leaning and having had various restrictions to marriage until pretty recently. He also doesn’t compare committed relationships and marriage and repeatedly states things correlated to marriage as if the same could not had within healthy, strong support systems (including friends) and if compassion was more significant at the societal level.
He also basically uses the manosphere talking point about women hitting the wall and complaining “where are all the good men” and furthermore repeatedly emphasizes the most stereotypical versions of women’s experiences that align with his beliefs. And it’s easy to then overlook that women might genuinely be happier as they are and that wanting something such as marriage but not getting doesn’t automatically mean unhappiness.
Not sure why you're confused about this, but marriage is NOT the key to happiness or wealth. It might be for a small percentage of people, and an even smaller, almost nonexistant percentage will find both.
Agreed. Cannot even believe they bothered to post this bullshit news story.
How is he qualified to work at a university…
Does anyone else hear the bitterness here?
Once upon a time when I was single and happy, my dad had a scare where he almost lost his wife. He called me up and told me to find a bigger place with two bathrooms so he could move in with me and I could take care of him. I whispered under my breath, no thank you. All he wanted was a woman to cook and clean for him. F that life. Separately, I got married at 42 and divorced at 47. Thank God for prenups and divorce! P.S. I come from a traditional religious Indian family. Too many rules and BS.
Congratulations for not caving into that extortion.
As I've gotten older, I wonder more and more how much abuse took place in marriages over the years, especially for women, that we've never heard of.
I grew up watching sexual, physical, and emotional abuse of my own mother and many of her friends.
The more older women that I've spoken to over the years have said that abuse they didn't recognise as such (emotional) was rampant. Many women during the 50's and 60's were on Valium or alcohol to just get through it.
Men live longer if married, not women. Women are normally the ones who have to take care of the children, clean the home, and now work outside the home.
Now that we women don't need to get married since we can finally make our own money .. we've chosen not to. We can have children, and sex when we like, without having to deal with men trying to keep us down, or worse, abuse us.
Marriage has been good for men, not so much for women.
I've only been in wonderful, long-term relationships with no abuse. My partners have been fantastic.
Do I wish I would have married any of them? No.
Own my own home, have my own retirement, date freely and happily, travel, and enjoy the one life I've got with glee.. 🥰
Here, it’s a “man” who is offering up the advice to get married.
Men don’t want to be responsible for their everyday needs. Boys are brought up by mothers who they watched catering to their fathers and that’s what boys grew up to expect from women. Even the girls in the family are often required to pitch in and do things for the boys. When the young men are old enough to be on their own, the expectation is built in that a woman would come along and pick up from where their mothers left off. Men sees women as a reliable sex partner and someone who would make their lives similar to what they were accustomed to.
Don’t forget about the lobotomies in the mid 20th century…
Why did you interview this guy?
I had the same thought.
It is not the institution that is the problem. It is the people entering into it who are emotionally immature, not economically stable and/or acting out with toxic patterns formed by dysfunctional families. He is naive to think that his neighbors, who seem to have stable marriages because everything looks good on the outside, is intellectually lazy. People who look successful on the outside can be just as dysfunctional and unhappily married as the poor folks who do not look and sound all shiny.
Your assessment of the problem closely matches mine, this was validating for me to read. Yes I think the main problem with marriage is how it draws and locks in people who are emotionally immature and thus doomed to act out toxic patterns.
I fault marriage and its high social esteem for most perpetuation of intergenerational trauma. If people were instead NOT taught to value marriage as an end, then they could more easily identify their own values, and then contend with their own issues.
Need childcare, more family tax breaks, rent is to high, young family can not afford a house
My brother lost his life savings because his wife decided to participate in the pill mill. Now he's $340,000.00 in debt.
Marriage is a prison for him.
Too bad he picked a woman like that. You have to marry a decent person to have a good life.
For 100% of the people 100% of the time!? This guy seems out of touch.
I hope the concept of marriage continues to dissolve. I think people should believe in strong, healthy relationships and friendships of all types and not simply focus on the inflated concept of marriage.
The orientation of the data collection on this topic, given how Wilcox outlined it, is flawed. Most who remain married tend to do so because FOR THEM marriage worked. That does not logically follow therefore that marriage is inherently the recipe for individual greater happiness and prosperity.
His conclusion follows the think of inductive rather than deductive logic...because most people who are married tend to be happier and have more prosperity, the conclusion must be that marriage is the pathway to "happierness" and more prosperity.
No - that's not how logical process works.
Sure. A man says this. Lol
LMFAO
Yeah, been there, done that. Maybe it’s good for men…not so much for women-at least for my generation.
EXACTLY
I never understood why my parents stayed together. I tried marriage, putting the first thru law school before divorcing him & the second thru his midlife crisis until he cleaned me out. Been single for over 40 yrs, never been lonely. I say have awesome friends!
Ditto 45yrs+.....still have PTSD from that 11yr. marriage with the vet who had PTSD! My child & my self never looked back
This author talks about marriage as if it were a choice or decision we can control. Try being a single woman living in LA!! All of the single women I meet want to be married but they can’t even find a boyfriend who’s a decent and relationship oriented person.
His one size fits all is absurd. Many people seek solitude for a happy and successful life.
The National Marriage Project: “We really need the state-owned vessels to erase their identities and become the unpaid labor our precious sons deserve.”
We as Americans need to STOP saying that the “left…is this and the right is that”. It doesn’t bring us together instead the divide has become further. Yet, we truly are far more alike and yet have differing opinions about many things which is ok and should be heard and understood. Let’s STOP creating disdain and contempt, but again come together for the good of ALL of US.
The right believes in a hierarchy, domination and obedience. Women born to serve men, etc. The left believes that people are equal. These basic beliefs have far reaching implications throughout all facets of life and are significant. The right WANTS a dictatorship because it is their hierarchical belief that the daddy figure should control, protect, punish those below him. They believe this is how life is supposed to be. They want daddy to tell them what to do, they prove they are good people by being obedient. They're eternal children.
The left believes people are equal and treats others with respect and wants to be respected, not dominated. They are not controlling, they believe that everyone has a right to make their own choices in life.
I live in louisiana and I know conservatives think if you're not trying to dominate them, they should be dominating you. They don't even recognize that you're not trying to force your will on them because you RESPECT THEIR RIGHT TO MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES. I can't even have relationships here, they're not going to dominate me and I'm tired of fighting them off. It's impossible to have mutually respectful conversations and accomplish things. They are just plotting how they're going to "put you in your place".
silly.
Most people do not have the mental stability, calmness and patience for enduring the monotony [ and stability ]
of a traditional 30-40-50 year marriage. If you're someone who needs drama, chaos, excitement, thrills, spills, etc stay single.
Ask your partner: “what do you need from me in order to feel more loved by me?”
Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for : companionship, intimacy, friendship. The truth is that marriage --at the start-- is just an empty box ! you must put something in before you can take anything out! there is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love and marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art of this and form the habit of giving, loving, serving & praising-- keeping the box full...... if you take out more than you put in, the box will become empty.
This guy wrote a book about his childhood disappointments and mistakenly believes it applies across the board.
😂😂😂
AFFORDABLE EDUCATION, AFFORDABLE HOUSING, A LIVING WAGE, SHARED CHILD REARING, SHARED HOME LABOUR, AFFORDABLE CHILDCARE. There, I fixed it.
And nothing above requires a marriage contract.
The only key to happiness, is internal respect, the internals you never ever share with anyone.
it's also the most difficult, as it does not accept lies, and external confidences.
Very wise words.
Having a partner to build a life is a tremendous gift
Hey! I've got a great idea no one's ever thought of! We'll just guilt trip everyone into getting married whether it's the right thing for them or not! What could possibly go wrong? While we're at it, we could also state, on Amanpour's air, that women by the age of 34 could never possibly have any *HOPE * of prince Charming showing up to bestow marriage & the requisite number of babies upon them anymore, you know, cuz of their nasty, rotten oldness. Poor Old Maids! If only they could have just heard our plaintive cries that we only cared about their futures more than they did. 😢😮
The nuclear family is the only surviving medieval institution, so it seems out of alignment with dynamic modern society. That misalignment seems to cause a lot of social tension and conflict, with some wanting to restore traditional society, and others rejecting families and marriage for flexibility and autonomy. Yet, traditional families are a bastion of authoritarianism, while modern hyper-individualism is deeply commodified and inhumanely isolating. To me, neither seems very natural or aligned with human nature. Humans evolved in tribes of 20 to 100 people, they were probably polyamorous, shared child-rearing responsibilities (it takes a village), equally allocated resources, and had bonds of mutual well-being (no one was left behind).
True, people act like monotony and the nuclear family are the norm for are species, it's not
Agreed.
If I'd have chosen to have children, this is the route I'd have taken.
My friends who have children took this path and the families are much better off for it.
Loving community living where everyone is given proper attention and an extended family of carers.
Nah, AlphaMales hogged all the chicks😅
As an engineer, I cringe when I see such a poorly done analysis. The most glaring is that he is assuming, almost certainly incorrectly, that as we add new married people, who had not been married, to the married group that the original, expanded group will retain its original characteristics. That’s rarely true in real life - and probably wouldn’t be here. As we continue adding new married couples to the group, we will encounter more and more people who never should have ever been married. In other words, there is a continuum starting with people who highly desire marriage at one extreme to another where there are people who should never be married under any circumstance. The problem is that we don’t how many new married couples we can add to the current married population before the group’s characteristics change. I’d be guessing it probably wouldn’t be a lot.
The gentleman’ heart is the right place. But, it’s a poorly done analysis that has fundamental errors that render its conclusion incorrect.
I'm in my 50's, never married male, every time a relationship ends I feel much better afterwards. It's always good in the beginning though. Just my two cents.
same here.......female divorced for 45yrs!...not interested in the drama
If you practice hypergamy, and you have a healthy marriage, sure. But if you divorce, both parties involved will lose tons of money. And even if you do marry up and are rich, you can be depressed. Being lonely in a marriage is one of the most excruciating experiences in the world. I know so many who stay married not because they really want to, but because they’d have no money without their spouse who foots the bill.
even more fun when the WOMAN "foots the bill" in a marriage
Oh please
The "haves" continue to do so, and the "have nots" have their reasons. What solutions do you have for the "have nots"?
He doesn’t have any solutions, only his dreams of returning to the past
Many young people CANNOT withstand the stresses and strains (*) of modern married life, it's getting harder as time passes.
* They forget it brings the fun part, happiness and stability and better mental health to modern living as well.
lets face it women out number men east of the Mississippi & live longer also. Women are usually more highly educated these days. A lot of older single women are also having IVF babies....no need for hubby!!!
National Marriage Project??
A southern white guy from University of Virginia telling us to get married- no thanks
Author is confusing marriage (a precondition for divorce) with voluntary coupling based on mutual commitment. The divorce laws in the Angloworld incentivise both parties to behave badly.
Really funny that he think “elites” should go around telling people how to live.
No. Overgeneralizing will not explain, help, or produce anything worthwhile here. Only specifics that apply to the individual case are useful. He's off.
I vote NO on marriage, get mad
As a gay person, firstly I don't even feel included in this discussion. And I think what's missing here is that dating, getting married, buying a house and raising a family all cost money and today's young people can't afford any of those things and most don't have enough energy after working a full week or two jobs to think about marriage. I think most people who are in a position to get married are people that are more well off and more socially gifted because of the opportunities they got from familial wealth. And surprise, wealthier people have more money, more opportunities and are happier, and are also married. Who would have thought that money and opportunities make you happy? Oh no wait, it's the marriage that did it
When all of our needs are met we are happy, therefore our emotions act like finger posts to either needs met, or needs unmet.
Hence the term "Hangry" (crying or upset due to hunger).
i can't find anyone who will go out with me let alone marry me
Stats say he’s right emotionally, financially, health/life span; but, unhappily-married disagree.
Also, religion/music/pets/hobbies/friends/sports/exercise/parenting help too.
Until government policy can be more marriage and family friendly as well as our society more supportive of all people - minorities, etc.- I cannot see marriage, or family life, increasing. It's declining because of all of the issues in our society currently - including substance abuse and mental health issues. I think that if you want to see more marriages, start with "Medicare for all" and well-paying blue collar jobs that can support families. No one wants to be poor with children, or the sober codependent spouse of a substance abuser, or married to an untreated mentally ill person unwilling to get help.
If you are low income marriage is an extra stress and burden. Children get more food help and low income housing assistance with a single parent. Child support can be a help or a nightmare on both sides. Married you can quickly go over this limit for assistance even though you still need the help. Parenting together leads to a happier family and less of a burden with household chores but if you are renting and not owning you constantly worry about losing your home.
People always do the exact opposite of what they're told to do, isn't that a thing? So doesn't this book do the opposite of what it's meant to do? I'm just an average viewer on the internet posting comments about nothing. . .
I agree. Get married. Be a good person . . . and then find another good person.
LMFAO and another...and another.....and another .......some like the idea of 'getting married' but not staying married
I don't think the Dalai Lama is on board.
Married? I'm just trying to find a date
Gawd I hate my mil
But I just loved my fil
Sadly he passed
Thanks guys
Yes I'm happily married❤
men who need vocational college b/c they're failing school are not marriage material. being well read and committed to academics matter. it is appalling to suggest that finding another path is important b/c someone can't work at properly learning reading.
I gotta grab this book...
Brad Wilcox is full of a bunch of BS.
Happiness too, look at Dem- President Clinton Advisor/ James C, Luisiana. Being married to opposite brain- scholars, he has been known to be happily married. Ask, Donna Brazil. So, yes, marriage is the key to Wealth & Happiness.
I am surprised that I am tending to agree with him on some of his points….
It is for sure to Wealth. For example- Melinda & Bill Gates.
No it doesn’t and if you get married with that intention or reason, then you definitely shouldn’t get married.
Michelle, seriously, this interview was not professionally conducted. The contrast with your interviews of people whose arguments align with the liberal slant of Amanpour & Company was glaring. The barely suppressed derision, the disdain that your facial expressions showed, and your seeming unwillingness to even entertain his evidence, data, or conclusions are unworthy of a journalist with your standing and audience. Whatever you think of his case, you should give him a fairer hearing than this. If anything, this just proved his point about how arrogant liberal elites are. Do better, if only to not benefit your critics and enemies.
As someone who researches for a living.. his data was very poor and unscientific.
Not even sure what his point was to "defy the elites" since they are the ones getting married and having children.
Shows marriage as happy are narrow mind. When guys shows happy marriage It is inconsistency with reality. Reality is each one has their reason to tie up. There are NOT happy in marriage life.Rubbish pictures of marriage.
How dare you cite data and analysis!!! This is America (i.e. "we just know"). My parents had a lifelong marriage. I waited a very long time before marrying. I would pass by nice houses in residential neighborhoods, with two or three cars out front, bikes, and toys in the yards and realize that families lived in those homes. I lived in an apartment. I was lonely. I was hormone-addled. I needed someone to complement me. And I found a beautiful woman. And it's been decades. This man has the data to backup what I concluded years ago: Married couples have more stability, and financial success (which often depend on stability), and I found- more happiness, than people who can't or won't commit- or can't find, or themselves be, a suitable partner. This isn't to say that an unhealthy, unstable relationship is better then none. No- that's way worse. But what are we capable-of?
depends what you mean by "stability"..outside looking in ? or inside looking out?
the evidence is just the opposite . women have much more money and stability and joy alone now. they are uninterested in babysitting inlaws in random towns where they have no interest. they have several interests of their own and marriage just isn't one. the days of marrying for stability are over.
@@maddscientist3170 What is the essential difference offered by your vantage point when it comes to stability in a relationship. I'm looking for a specific, logical explanation to understand your question (or maybe to help you understand that it isn't pertinent).
Its definitely key to wealth for the divorcing woman.
Statistically, no
stats say no ..even if the guy pays for the divorce.....this culture hates women'
How about just shack up with a loved one and live a good life. Relationships are more important than traditional “family life.” I’ve lived all over the world and currently live in the Middle East a traditional family could be SEVERAL wives and many many children all happily connected in some form of housing extended or otherwise some remain married some divorced.
Most of the children are happy and many wives accept the situation - depends on the circumstances. I live in a wealthy country that can afford this situation but what makes your perfect family and marriage the right family? Dream on.
I like the traditional family where there are SEVERAL husbands