One pop culture representation of why it's important to express one's own views and desires openly is the theme of the French song called "Dommage", by Bigflo & Oli. The word "dommage" means "too bad, unfortunately" and is related to the English word "damage". If you watch/listen to the music video, you will see that young men do not express their love and friendship interests because of lack of confidence or self-esteem; a young woman has talent as a vocalist but does not pursue her dreams of going to a fine arts college because people in her local community tell her that she will never rise to a level higher than her hometown roots; a woman thinks about her obligations as a model citizen before thinking of her own health and safety. All of these scenarios end tragically because the individuals subjugated their voice and identity to what society told them to think and do. Argumentation in Western cultures has its origins in classical Greece. As one example, think of all the family and love feuds among the multitudinous deities of the Greek pantheon. As another example, think of the Socratic method (c. 430 B.C.E), which is a form of cooperative argumentative dialogue between individuals, based on asking and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to draw out ideas and underlying presuppositions. In the Middle Ages, argumentation was replaced by a monotheistic world view which held that there was one God and that the Earth was at the center of the universe, and that an individual's fate was preordained. People were bound to God and to the social class into which they were born. They had no freedom of will. This monotheistic view (and mode of communication) was disrupted, first by the Renaissance and then by the Age of Enlightenment, both of which recognized pluralism in science and in expression. The problem in some societies is that violence too often accompanies free and open speech. Keeping open communication but with a return to civility would be ideal. シュンさん、ミクさん、いつもありがとうございます。
I am Portuguese, therefore, a Latino from the Iberian Peninsula and, in terms of temperament and cultural traits, very similar to a Spaniard. Of course, there are many exceptions and many small subtle variations, but generally we see healthy discussion (not aggressive and violent discussion) as a way to achieve knowledge about a subject or someone. A discussion can be an exchange of arguments that are intended to be logical and defensible (I believe this is the case all over the world) or a discussion about personal and subjective points of view. The point is that the Latin temperament considers normal, not only disagreements and differences of opinion (as a means to reach agreement or a platform for understanding) but also heated, temperamental and heated discussions. It's possible to have heated discussions without people actually being upset or angry with each other. (I'm referring to healthy discussions...!) Of course, sometimes healthy discussions go awry and people get upset, leading to a violent discussions (especially if people are drinking alcohol). But, generally speaking, discussion as an exchange of different ideas is seen as a positive way of making ourselves known, acquiring, in this sense, a more individualistic character to the detriment of collective harmony (or a supposed collective harmony, often artificial). This doesn't mean that Latinos don't like harmony or don't like people who get along well with each other. This just means that they don't sacrifice their opinions, tastes or ideas to the detriment of the collective (at least if they find the subject or topic important and relevant). In that sense, I think it's the opposite of Japanese culture. Even in small things these differences are very marked. For example, if a friend tells us that he likes cats, it's okay for us to say that we prefer dogs. It's not a sign of disrespect or a way to cut the conversation short. On the contrary, it is a way of making ourselves known to the other, saying what our preference is, instead of hiding our preference. The other person may then ask, "why do you prefere dogs?" or "but you don't like cats or do you just prefer dogs?" and the conversation can progress well from there. On the contrary, a Japanese person might find it strange that, while saying that he likes cats, another person replies that he prefers dogs. In Japan, this could be considered a "conversation stopper". Of course, both Latinos and Japanese like sincere and frank people. The difference is in the form and manner in which this frankness and sincerity is expressed. The Japanese culture of politeness and respect also helps to understand these different cultural attitudes. Again, this doesn't mean that Latinos don't like politeness and respect, but the way they express it is very different (but that would be another topic).
I love when you use slang words like 切れる、引いちゃいます、飛んジッタand you highlight the word in a box. I can scan the video and copy down the new words! Also really love sharing Japanese internal thinking, which is opaque to other cultures. Japanese are always thinking Do you mean it? when a westerner says something kind. In Shun's case, Westerners open the refrigerator, and no one can object because that's what they said! So the Did they mean it? is irrelevant in the West. Our rule is, If you didn't mean it you shouldn't have said it! It's called being a person of your word.
Miku-sensei, Thank you very much especially for these two last videos with Shun-san! It is great to see two Japanese persons who share the experience of having lived in different cultures discussing and reflecting on the issues of „reading the room“ and „communication culture shock“ in Japanese. Having lived in Japan for a while in the past and having a Japanese partner now living outside of Japan I have been and am still confronted with the challenges these differences in (communication) culture bring on a regular basis. These videos have reminded me once more of the importance of trying to stay aware of these differences and of trying to make intercultural relations work nonetheless. Thank you also very much for your podcasts! It is always a pleasure to listen to them. I very much look forward to your next videos & podcasts. Please keep up the great work. Thank you very much!
Thank you so much for writing such a kind, thoughtful comment!! I'm glad that I can share what I learn :) We Japanese people also struggle to understand how people from other countries communicate, so I'm glad I can help people who are learning Japanese by sharing my experiences!! Thank you for listening to my podcast too😊
As a westerner I struggled first with the difficulty to have friendship relations in Japan as we do in Europe. Then I engaged with the practice of using groups (sport, work, local association, volunteer….) to engage with locals. It’s a very different practice as we open less, share less than in the western world. Some might even criticise the superficially and lack of deep connections in Japan. BUT I should flag the followings. First friendships in the western world are also anchored on context (work, sport,…). Once your circumstances change (different work, different country…) it’s quite frequent to severe ties. It’s particularly true in the US where people are extremely friendly at first sight but can drop you on a whim. Second, beyond the official acceptance of diverging viewpoints, those conflicting views can lead to severe relations. In fact divorces, end of friendship, selective use of partisan media have all risen in the western world because of conflicting social and political views. All in all, both approches have pros and cons. The capacity to share some deep feelings is helpful as it prevents the tension to keep it all for yourself (the benefit of the western approach). But on the other end, the more superficial Japanese approach ensures longer lasting relations and also smoother relations. Interestingly mental health issues or solitude are not significantly more prevalent in one system or the other. Last Japanese might appreciate the freedom of overseas practices (like westerners appreciate the comfort of Japanese practices) because the expectations are always lower for the extra community member. His/her clumsiness is better accepted because he doesn’t master all the unwritten subtle social rules.
Hello miku san This me Thinlay from India living in japan... whatever you talking in vedio I was thinking about all this points.. as indian people are very open minded but in japan is opposite.... we say that its important to share your problems to other by doing so we feel little bit good but in japan don't do so thats why I see people are not much happier as much other countries people
For many countries of the so-called Western culture, the Japanese culture of politeness and respect means that they are not as spontaneous as Westerners. This can ensure greater social harmony, but it can also create greater distance between people or less intimate interpersonal relationships. I don't think one way is better than the other, but each culture has its own cultural and social problems. A combination of the two would be great!
I lived in Japan for 4 years. I'm American but also half Mexican. The latin culture is very warm and welcoming. If they say please make yourself at home they mean it. Westerners are also taught not to bother people. But that doesn't mean you cannot offer to cook for the family while you're staying there. They are 2 different things. Also, westerners do care about the atmosphere when in a group. Just because you had 1 or 2 experiences doesn't mean that sums up western culture. In Japan if I did something wrong (but not knowing I did something wrong because of cultural differences) Japanese people would just stop talking to me. Write me off as a friend for making cultural mistakes.
HI! Thank you for your comment! This video is a short clip from the whole 60 minutes long conversation on my podcast, (There are Part 1, 2, 3) and we talk about how we try to observe the situation and think what others need without them telling us. But we don't mean that that's always best. Both Shun and I needed to learn to be more direct when we are outside Japan and we think the balance between 2 is important :) If you are interested , please listen to the podcast:) Thank you!
One pop culture representation of why it's important to express one's own views and desires openly is the theme of the French song called "Dommage", by Bigflo & Oli. The word "dommage" means "too bad, unfortunately" and is related to the English word "damage". If you watch/listen to the music video, you will see that young men do not express their love and friendship interests because of lack of confidence or self-esteem; a young woman has talent as a vocalist but does not pursue her dreams of going to a fine arts college because people in her local community tell her that she will never rise to a level higher than her hometown roots; a woman thinks about her obligations as a model citizen before thinking of her own health and safety. All of these scenarios end tragically because the individuals subjugated their voice and identity to what society told them to think and do. Argumentation in Western cultures has its origins in classical Greece. As one example, think of all the family and love feuds among the multitudinous deities of the Greek pantheon. As another example, think of the Socratic method (c. 430 B.C.E), which is a form of cooperative argumentative dialogue between individuals, based on asking and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to draw out ideas and underlying presuppositions. In the Middle Ages, argumentation was replaced by a monotheistic world view which held that there was one God and that the Earth was at the center of the universe, and that an individual's fate was preordained. People were bound to God and to the social class into which they were born. They had no freedom of will. This monotheistic view (and mode of communication) was disrupted, first by the Renaissance and then by the Age of Enlightenment, both of which recognized pluralism in science and in expression. The problem in some societies is that violence too often accompanies free and open speech. Keeping open communication but with a return to civility would be ideal. シュンさん、ミクさん、いつもありがとうございます。
I am Portuguese, therefore, a Latino from the Iberian Peninsula and, in terms of temperament and cultural traits, very similar to a Spaniard.
Of course, there are many exceptions and many small subtle variations, but generally we see healthy discussion (not aggressive and violent discussion) as a way to achieve knowledge about a subject or someone. A discussion can be an exchange of arguments that are intended to be logical and defensible (I believe this is the case all over the world) or a discussion about personal and subjective points of view. The point is that the Latin temperament considers normal, not only disagreements and differences of opinion (as a means to reach agreement or a platform for understanding) but also heated, temperamental and heated discussions. It's possible to have heated discussions without people actually being upset or angry with each other. (I'm referring to healthy discussions...!)
Of course, sometimes healthy discussions go awry and people get upset, leading to a violent discussions (especially if people are drinking alcohol). But, generally speaking, discussion as an exchange of different ideas is seen as a positive way of making ourselves known, acquiring, in this sense, a more individualistic character to the detriment of collective harmony (or a supposed collective harmony, often artificial). This doesn't mean that Latinos don't like harmony or don't like people who get along well with each other. This just means that they don't sacrifice their opinions, tastes or ideas to the detriment of the collective (at least if they find the subject or topic important and relevant). In that sense, I think it's the opposite of Japanese culture.
Even in small things these differences are very marked. For example, if a friend tells us that he likes cats, it's okay for us to say that we prefer dogs. It's not a sign of disrespect or a way to cut the conversation short. On the contrary, it is a way of making ourselves known to the other, saying what our preference is, instead of hiding our preference. The other person may then ask, "why do you prefere dogs?" or "but you don't like cats or do you just prefer dogs?" and the conversation can progress well from there. On the contrary, a Japanese person might find it strange that, while saying that he likes cats, another person replies that he prefers dogs. In Japan, this could be considered a "conversation stopper".
Of course, both Latinos and Japanese like sincere and frank people. The difference is in the form and manner in which this frankness and sincerity is expressed. The Japanese culture of politeness and respect also helps to understand these different cultural attitudes. Again, this doesn't mean that Latinos don't like politeness and respect, but the way they express it is very different (but that would be another topic).
I love when you use slang words like 切れる、引いちゃいます、飛んジッタand you highlight the word in a box. I can scan the video and copy down the new words! Also really love sharing Japanese internal thinking, which is opaque to other cultures. Japanese are always thinking Do you mean it? when a westerner says something kind. In Shun's case, Westerners open the refrigerator, and no one can object because that's what they said! So the Did they mean it? is irrelevant in the West. Our rule is, If you didn't mean it you shouldn't have said it! It's called being a person of your word.
I like that too! It’s very useful :)
Miku-sensei,
Thank you very much especially for these two last videos with Shun-san!
It is great to see two Japanese persons who share the experience of having lived in different cultures discussing and reflecting on the issues of „reading the room“ and „communication culture shock“ in Japanese.
Having lived in Japan for a while in the past and having a Japanese partner now living outside of Japan I have been and am still confronted with the challenges these differences in (communication) culture bring on a regular basis.
These videos have reminded me once more of the importance of trying to stay aware of these differences and of trying to make intercultural relations work nonetheless.
Thank you also very much for your podcasts! It is always a pleasure to listen to them.
I very much look forward to your next videos & podcasts. Please keep up the great work.
Thank you very much!
Thank you so much for writing such a kind, thoughtful comment!! I'm glad that I can share what I learn :) We Japanese people also struggle to understand how people from other countries communicate, so I'm glad I can help people who are learning Japanese by sharing my experiences!! Thank you for listening to my podcast too😊
As a westerner I struggled first with the difficulty to have friendship relations in Japan as we do in Europe. Then I engaged with the practice of using groups (sport, work, local association, volunteer….) to engage with locals. It’s a very different practice as we open less, share less than in the western world. Some might even criticise the superficially and lack of deep connections in Japan.
BUT I should flag the followings. First friendships in the western world are also anchored on context (work, sport,…). Once your circumstances change (different work, different country…) it’s quite frequent to severe ties. It’s particularly true in the US where people are extremely friendly at first sight but can drop you on a whim. Second, beyond the official acceptance of diverging viewpoints, those conflicting views can lead to severe relations. In fact divorces, end of friendship, selective use of partisan media have all risen in the western world because of conflicting social and political views.
All in all, both approches have pros and cons. The capacity to share some deep feelings is helpful as it prevents the tension to keep it all for yourself (the benefit of the western approach). But on the other end, the more superficial Japanese approach ensures longer lasting relations and also smoother relations. Interestingly mental health issues or solitude are not significantly more prevalent in one system or the other.
Last Japanese might appreciate the freedom of overseas practices (like westerners appreciate the comfort of Japanese practices) because the expectations are always lower for the extra community member. His/her clumsiness is better accepted because he doesn’t master all the unwritten subtle social rules.
Hello miku san
This me Thinlay from India living in japan... whatever you talking in vedio I was thinking about all this points.. as indian people are very open minded but in japan is opposite.... we say that its important to share your problems to other by doing so we feel little bit good but in japan don't do so thats why I see people are not much happier as much other countries people
For many countries of the so-called Western culture, the Japanese culture of politeness and respect means that they are not as spontaneous as Westerners. This can ensure greater social harmony, but it can also create greater distance between people or less intimate interpersonal relationships. I don't think one way is better than the other, but each culture has its own cultural and social problems. A combination of the two would be great!
ミクさんはポッドカストや深い考えをいつも伝えてくれてありがとう。直接なんだけど、日本に住んでいる日本人にとして、同じような考えを持つている日本人の友達を見つけるのが難しいですか？私はサンフランシスコのあたりに生まれて、ずっとそのようなそういうな卒時期な考えを持つ人たちに囲まれていたけど、日本で逆だと言われた。今年の秋、やく二か月ぐらい間の日本の滞在の予定があるけど、リモートワークをしながら、どこでそのような日本人が見つけるのが分からくて、そこでそうするとどこに行けばいいのか分からない！
自分は日本人生まれの日本育ちですが、スペイン人と全く同じです…個人差もあるのかな？
でも気が付いたら自分の友人は95%ヨーロッパ人だった。日本人の友達が出来にくいっていうか、出来ても海外経験が長い人が多い。
やっぱりフランスに帰化して良かったわ😂
コメントありがとうございます！！
そうですね、人によりますね。
私も海外経験のある日本人の友達が多いです！
もっとオープンに色んな話ができるような気がします😊
全部聞き取れました😊
えー！2人知ってる先生一緒に喋てる！すごい！
I lived in Japan for 4 years. I'm American but also half Mexican. The latin culture is very warm and welcoming. If they say please make yourself at home they mean it. Westerners are also taught not to bother people. But that doesn't mean you cannot offer to cook for the family while you're staying there. They are 2 different things. Also, westerners do care about the atmosphere when in a group. Just because you had 1 or 2 experiences doesn't mean that sums up western culture. In Japan if I did something wrong (but not knowing I did something wrong because of cultural differences) Japanese people would just stop talking to me. Write me off as a friend for making cultural mistakes.
❤いつもありがとうございますミク先生❤❤❤本当にこの話しおもしろかった。❤❤❤
とても面白かった会話です。
心から感謝します🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much for your videos❤
Lots words learned. Keep it up 🎉
いやいや、さすが私たちもその場の雰囲気を気にしてて喧嘩しちゃダメでしょうと考えますよ。確かにその人が我慢できなかったというところは、日本人とは全然違うんですけど、周りの人は頭の中で「何やってんのコイツ」と考えていました。ミクさんに言わなくても、大した問題じゃないと、うそをついてもみんなそう考えてました、きっと
Maybe in next video offer some strategies for foreigners on how to read the room?
HI! Thank you for your comment! This video is a short clip from the whole 60 minutes long conversation on my podcast, (There are Part 1, 2, 3) and we talk about how we try to observe the situation and think what others need without them telling us. But we don't mean that that's always best. Both Shun and I needed to learn to be more direct when we are outside Japan and we think the balance between 2 is important :) If you are interested , please listen to the podcast:) Thank you!
色々なvideo uploadしてくれてありがとうございます。🇯🇵🫶
For Japanese speakers Is it easier to pronounce English or Spanish words?
I got about 95%. I still don't know enough vocab. Most of the words you put on the screen is basically what I didnt get. Thank you always!
Can you please do a video about という and といえば, そういえば…etc🙇🏻♀️💕
80% わかる
love があるとききましたけど 実は ラグ でした。。：）
非常に興味深い議論。いくつかの点は正当ですが、子供たちがレストランや電車、飛行機の周りを走り回るのは、本当に失礼だと考えた。良い教育を受けた人々はそうも考える警告しなっきゃならない。