This is so relatable to most of us. And parents are not aware that this could actually end a beautiful relationship between a child and their parent. You're an amazing aunt to Lutho❤
You did your best and that's enough! We love you for your authentic self. You are enough! Nozi, our parents went through so much trauma which inevitably lands of children. It's the generational struggle for disadvantaged groups like our black families. At some point you have to choose you - your wellbeing, your now family. We are the "too kind" people who end up depleted because we prioritise others first and our needs last. To make it, we have to CHANGE and be OK with prioritising YOU. The beginning of your BECOMING is the awareness and I think God brought Lumi for exactly that. Do what you can and God will do the rest! Unfortunately you can't be the BE ALL for mother dearest. Everyone needs to do their part, including managing their expectations. A colleague once said that because the parents divorced, he became a clutch for his mom and fulfilled his father's responsibilities. It's quite a heavy burden and we need to charge this with our children. Please take care and be comforted that you went above and beyond for your family and that's enough. Change is not embraced by most but the change is very necessary and beneficial even for parents. On the side note, as uncomfortable as it may be to confront your elders, bullying must be called out for what it is. Nawe ungumntu!
Hey Nozi, I’m also going through the same,best option is to love her as she is and have boundaries ❤The bible says “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).
Setting boundaries is actually harder than people think, especially if you are dealing with Africans parents. keep enforcing those boundaries it will pay off
Oh Nozi, oh Nono Uxolo baby. 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you for your ‘rawness’ and always being authentic. I know how taxing Black tax can be, and unfortunately because of the heart you have, you’ll continue pouring out of your cup despite not being appreciated by those you selflessly give. But I want to remind you that ‘Blessed is the hand that giveth’ - May the good Lord open wide the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing over you and your family that you may not even have enough room to receive it.❤❤❤❤Love you VERY much. Please spend this on yourself- no one else, not even Lumi.😊
When you said “umntanam” i totally felt lo “I’ve never been so happy in my life”… I love you Nozi, you deserve all things beautiful. Lumi came at God’s perfect time and YESSSSSS NGOWAKHO BABY GIRL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Lutho is very pretty, the dimples 😍😍😍😍😍😍. God bless you Nana
Pastor and his wife are a perfect example of “umntu ongena apho angafunekiyo khona”…. Our parents break us daily and it’s not an easy topic, I’m glad you opened up sisi. Many are in the same or similar situation, and it’s just hard 😢. Much love from Norway 🇳🇴
This one hit different! A mom who is never wrong, no matter how wrong they are, always the victim, toxic, my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel
I got so emotional because I know exactly what you are talking about. Your mom’s approach is exactly like my mom’s, always right and always the victim. She overlooks what I do for her, especially when I do something for myself she will always say that yena akanakwa. So in 2021 I was unemployed and there was a month I needed her help financially (she is a teacher) and all she did was complain and never helped me, I have since learnt to be selfish and I’m fine being viewed that way.
My mom used to be like that. I spent years using taxis while working because I couldn’t do anything for myself. 80% of my salary was spent on her and my siblings. Until I learned to say NO!
Well done Nozie nd Skhu! You guys did exceptional for Lutho's matric dance. Some kids that have both parents couldn't have such moment, couldn't afford the outfit ,but you guys made sure that Lutho has everything that she needs. Kwande apho nithatha khona
You know what?! So so many of us can relate and I’m glad you’re sharing it as real as it is. Going home is mad expensive. If it’s not the expectations, be it silent or shared it’s the guilt of not doing this or that even when it’s something you hadn’t planned. It’s a lot Shem. Thank you for keeping it real
uLutho looked stunning for her matric dance the car and the dress was a combo that was communicating, thank you sis Nozi you are so authentic. And I'm sorry about what you're experiencing with your mom set boundries even when its uncomfortable for your sanity
This makes me emotional because people are so entitled and ungrateful. I personally appreciate your vulnerability, you are narrating a story of many. This is why some people just choose solitude. Some homes are toxic yeyiiii!! Side note: you look so beautiful mmagwe Lumz 🥰
I hear you sis Nozi. it’s heart breaking when family starts taking advantage of your generosity. Thumbs up for leaving the place for your sanity. God sees everything He will not leave you nor forsake you
Yoooh Nozi, my husband and I were having this conversation 2 days ago just before his trip home. We were talking about how our parents and siblings back home have sooo many money expectations when you go home you must literally be loaded and it's so sad because asizugoduka ngoku because of that. My husband was reciting a story about how he walked in ehletywa zi siblings zakhe a while back besithi ebesiyaphi xa engenamali ngeloxesha already he has done more than we had budgeted for qha kufuneka everytime kukho into efunwayo iphume kuye it's really sad but ke kuyedlula Sana and God knows how much you do and uyongeza...abazali bethu the older they grow they become kids and unreasonable don't let it affect your mental health too much uLumi needs a strong and happy mother brush it off sisi uphinde uthathise...sending you hugs❤❤❤
Not me going to check prices of washing machines on takealot . Nozi I am sorry for what you are going through sisi wam. Here you are apologising and if only you knew how much I personally love this vlog. You’re vulnerable, relatable and touching many hearts sisi. Speaking to your mom who has her ways set indeed will not help. The only person you can change in this situation is you cause you’re responsible for your inner peace. “Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.” Setting boundaries will most certainly rock the boat, however it must be done before it leads to resentment. Your best Nozi is enough, infact you do exceedingly and above which makes me so proud. None of Mommies complaints are your fault. Resistance and upsetting things will be said about you when drawing the line in establishing healthy boundaries. It comes with the territory and let them be so long as Nozi’s internal dialogue is in control. It’s not an easy step to take sisi. Keep shining 🌟
I know how u feeling mntase... Mna kunzima nokugoduka sometimes bcos imeko yaseKhaya ifana nalena yakho... Sad part ihv siblings who are not even bothered bona yiSituation leyo... Yhuuu... NOZI kuninzi Shame😢
I’m glad you have a brother who expiriences your mom with you,I feel sorry for anyone who’s an only child going through such severe black tax.Thanks for sharing
@@ncisept5900 yhuu! So true and the irresponsible one kuthwe "yho ai uyamazi lowo into yakhe yeyakhe" as if wena unyanzelekile wenze yonke lento uyenzayo
Nozi don’t even stress! You are doing well. uMama needs to find her own happiness. You can give her R100000 she would still complain. It’s not even about you. For me my mum stresses me I IGNORE! If she is fed, well clothed, has food on her table and a roof over her head then life continues. As for the pastor’s wife block or ignore as well. Sorry sis!
Yoh Nozi 🥺🥺 As a new mom of a newborn I sympathise with you. It’s already exhausting being a new mom now I can’t imagine feeling so emotionally drained from such an experience. Askies sisi 💕💕💕 Thank you for sharing and being raw with us. Some wouldn’t have even posted ukuthi it didn’t turn out the way it did. Siyabonga for taking us through your journey.
😢Seeing how you are treating your niece made me so emotional, and you cardling your baby made me worshipping God within my spirit. I'm busy watching and it is so beautiful. I wish you all the best dearest ❤❤❤❤
Oh Nozi❤ thank you for being so real and unfiltered. Honestly your experience is so relatable. Our parents need to ease their expectations and start being appreciative and considerate. You did more than enough, your are generous and your big heart is evident. Sending you a big virtual hug 🫂 No need to apologize for being yourself and raw, you are human and I appreciate your vulnerability as most of us are reminded that we are not alone in times when we experience the same.
Your vulnerability and honesty is unmatched. You are so courageous, strong and pure. Thank you for letting us in and godspeed for you always. You're an inspiration to so many of us. We have your back Sis, stay strong.
And it's a very painful habit from parents to us as kids😢😢😢it is very unfair.. the more you do things for them.. is the more they want from you.. it never ends..
Watching the last part of your video made me so emotional, especially because you are always such a jolly person. I know exactly what you are going through first hand. Unfortunately sometimes whatever we do to please our parents will just never be enough and trying to make them understand "talk to them" is sometimes received as disrespect. This is why I usually tell people that we can never change our elders behavior no matter how much we try, they've lived like that for all their lives, the only thing we have control over is how WE react to the things they do and as cruel as this may sound, for our own sanity, sometimes distancing ourselves from them while still providing for them to our ability is what one needs to do.
I can relate Nozi. I've learned to be open and honest about my limitations. I cannot deal with toxicity, my mental health is above everything. I pray you realize you are doing well and raise Lumi(and the others that will follow) with enough love to break the generational curses. I live for myself and children's well-being
Sisi, you are doing a great job taking care of your family and raising your newborn baby . What you doing is enough, Mama ❤. Sending love ❤️ and hugs 🫂 🤗
I'm glad you opened up about this because ibizophuma lento umamakho ayisho kubantu especially since she vents kubafundisi whom are outside people. And people were gonna have a field day with you kuSocial media at least you addressed it early. And I hope the pastor and his wife see this and dismiss your mom when she vents about this. I hope you know you're doing your best and that alone is enough. ❤
Everytime I watch I get so excited and want to comment at the beginning of the video by the time the vlog end I see so many things I want to say but commenting again I don't do. My goodness I am watching Lutho, ohh Nozi you are such a blessing to a lot of people together with Skhu. I pray that you meet a lot of genuine people as long as you live, people that will give back the energy and love you always show to them ❤️.
You are so authentic and the stories you are telling are real for most of us. Sometimes this authenticity is needed for us to know we are not the only ones going through these emotions. Well done, you did your best. Travelling alone is expensive.
I remember that video you did when you talked about getting your first job and how she spoke about your salary, etc.. Yhuu hayi. At this point just go No Contact with your mom sisi. For your own sanity. Thixo asoze akubethe for taking care of yourself and the precious soul that needs you(umntanakho)
It's the manipulation that gets to me, the sneaky behaviour of playing a victim. I can relate Nozi, I know all about what you are going through. Our parents need to do better kodwa yaaz😔
It's called Borderline Personality d/o, these people manipulate, they are victims all the time. Kuningi! Children who's parents are bordeline go through the absolute most.
Yhuuuu Nozi!!! That ending Nkos’yam!! When you said “I started feeling bad” I honestly at some point started to believe ukuba mhlawumbi I’m ungrateful but then I started coming across more people that could relate!! SANA!! It’s almost as if nobody care about your problems… thank you for sharing and shedding light. A beautiful Matric dance and efforts all around ntombi and here’s to being a greater version of a mom 🎈🤗 as best as you know how too mamazi.
@@patiencevhulade1754 Awa Cc people like this are very problematic,they think theyknow everything.Even Mama had complained to them,they should have ask Nozi what is going on Mama is complaining about this and that.Just they have that relationship with Mama doesn't mean they can talk shit to Nozi.
This made me cry so hard. We are always trying so hard to make our parents happy but this just validates that we never will. This reminds me of my relationship with my mother. 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you for sharing Nozi you and Skhu are amazing and you are doing the best you can. Your mental health is more important honestly. At some point I asked my mother if I should rather stop working cause when I don't have an income maybe that will give us peace. Yhoooo😢 this hit me hard honestly it's too close to home
Oh Nozi❤ Sending you lots and lots of virtual hugs. Thank you for sharing with us, we definitely understand. We love you, you are doing more than enough and I hope you never ever doubt that. 🙏🏽
We appreciate this kind of content sis... glad to know we're not the only ones going through black tax, no matter how much we try, it's just never enough for our families... may God help us to be better parents to our kids, that we don't feel obliged to their money, because wow! We're going through alot
I totally understand mna Nozi it is absolutely draining dealing with a mother like that. I relate so much to this. Your best is just never enough💪🙏keep strong. I love you
My mom never asks from us, we do things when we can help and that’s a blessing on its own. My husband sort of set boundaries with the in-laws side, he never does something that we cannot afford at the time. When we can help we help and I feel blessed that we don’t have that much pressure. Sending virtual hugs to you Nozi❤
Yhoooo alamhle Lutho wooooow sebenzile Sisi,as for Mama myeke Sana akhonto noyenza ,am sure kuba ukwi spotlite so ulindele menzele nezulu nomhlaba nenzalisekonyalo Sana,ngabazali ke abo,so strong's guys ❤
I can relate to this experience. You are not alone and I’m glad you shared. Don’t apologise. You have paved a way for most of us. We are in this together. Your mental health comes first indeed❤
Parents can be frustrating coming to finances. I thought it was only me, I really now understand sibaningi. It's a lot mabakhula. And nje economically things are tight. It's a lot honestly
After watching this vlog I told my mum how appreciative I am of her because she never ask and will stop you from using money....and will say its unnecessary and save......
I felt my heart break for you Nozi, yet again we know that most of us it is our family culture for parents to act so entitled without ever considering what we go through to change or break the circle of poverty😭, hope you are healing as Lumi deserves a healthy happy mom.
Everything in me wanted to give an opinion and perspective. So many emotions, my heart broke so many times for you. After my own internal venting, I realised what we need to do is pray for you and pray for those affected like you. I am so sorry. 😢 I know you weren’t looking for pity or looking to dishonour your mom in anyway. You delivered this in a very dignified manner.
Lumi should take centre stage. Yibethelele Nozi ntoba klk ndinosana ngoku izinto azizokufana. Ndicela undicingele. Yithethe qho izakude ingene kuye. Itshomi zikaMamakho ziyeke zona. They will eventually see things from your perspective. You really needed to vent Sisi. Yonwaba noLumi enjoy and embrace motherhood 💙
So sorry Nozi, sending you virtual hugs. I can't imagine how hard it must be to navigate such a difficult situation with someone you love, All I can say is.. do not feel guilty for wanting the distance and ignore the outside noise because they are speaking from a lack of knowledge and understanding, don't let their words have power over you.
That’s what we call a vlog😅 it has its highlights and twists along the way…. Thank you for sharing it all…. I’m sure the minute you went in and looked at those adorable little eyes of lumi 🫠 , he was the light that lifted your heart . Mamie all I can say, what you doing is more than enough, you doing a pretty damn good job. I love you! Stay blessed, stay healthy
Oh Nozi you are going over and above and beyond mntakabawo. Abazali for some weird reason once uphangele they have expectations of their own on how they want to LIVE their lives through us and kengoku kho nezitshomi zabo zase calen esp for you being in the public eye now uMama funeka kucace ba unentombi esezintweni if you get what I mean, that’s how our mothers are and it’s wrong! Good that you tell her NO bubulumnko obo. Worry yam lento can earlier come between you and Skhu abonakale nje ngo mama ongoneliyo okusengayo ikubandise endodeni yakho so good for you for standing your ground. You’d find ke nale mali ayfuna kangaka uzoyghalela yonke eCaweni abuye athi akanamali. Good job Nozi you’ve done an exceptional job with your mother and siblings now it’s time for YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY Lumi is the centre of your word now !!!
Kamhleeee u Lutho💕💞♥️ well done Nozi ,as for abazali yhoooo sana sometimes you even wish bungagodukanga xolo sisi abazali can be so toxic baworse ngento enemali phakathi yhuuu abazali 😭😭
I completely understand how you feel. You did your best, and that's enough. I love your authenticity. That's one thing I love about you. I hope you feel better.
Suxolisa sis' Nozi. We totally understand what you went through and you're right, no amount of talking with our mothers can make them accept or understand the stress they put us through. Protect your mental health sisi coz kunzima kwidepression, I know first hand. I love you❤❤❤
Ohh I felt the love when you said you are soooo happy with Lumi in your life ♥️ oh torho sisi maan.. Mamela uLutho looked soooo stunning 😍 There is no way that her mom is not proud of you. Well done, you are doing a good job 👏 Thanks for being raw and being vocal about your feelings.. iXolo sthandwa, iXolo.. Detox and pray about it, Oh uThixo uzonipha amandla oko oko noSkhu.. Xolo Shishi, yhini Mama zeLumi, Nkosikazi yaseMatshaweni.. I love you Fam ♥️
Sending hugs and love❤🤗. I know from experience how painful it is going through this with a parent. You don't deserve to be treated this way. You do so much already. And you have a little one on top of all this. The thing that has helped me in this situation is to cut contact with my mother because without fail everytime i spoke to her she would ask me for money. She always has a list of things she needs paid for and never asks whats going on with me or if im even coping, let alone have a roof over my head. I only speak to her when i go home and even then i limit how much i interact with her. It will never stop unless you put a stop to it as painful as it is. It will bring you more peace and keep you from feeling like you're losing your mind❤. People will probably judge you for it but it doesn't matter, you come first. You've already given everything you have
Yho the ending sana😭😭😭 Konje sibaninzi aba go through the most when it comes to family. Andisebuhlungu yho hayi🤗🤗🤗🤗 may God continue to bless you mntase khaya for continuing to do best. 🤗
Sending you a virtual hug Nozi! Don't apologize for speaking your truth hey, you are the one who knows how far your budget can reach. You did the best you could do and that was good enough!
Oh Nozi I love how raw and real you are, I’m sure I speak for almost everyone when I say we can resonate to what you are going through just know we understand and you are doing exceptionally good ❤
You went all out for Lutho 😍 and you are doing more than enough Nozi. I don't know what it is with parents and not understanding when you can't do something. I really hope they realize how much they hurt us because of that. Sorry that you couldn't enjoy your time at home as much as you wanted to.
Yhooo Nozi, you just awakened a whole lot of emotions kum sana😭 as I know very well lento uthetha ngayo yeblack tax engapheliyo😔. Mine used to wake me up every pay day mntase ingekakhali kwakum ayiraide mntase phofu sendixelelwa ngabantwana abangenapapa, and her monthly installment ekufuneka eyikhuphile kwabrands yekitchen unit yakhe yeR14 000🤦🏿. Mntase all 4 of us her children bayamnika imali on different dates throughout the month so uvele ubelost ba inoba uyithini imali losisi but you wouldn't dare ask her mntase yhooo😔, but sana you would swear besingamniki necent and apho ibibabuhlungu khona is how she spoke about us ebantwini as if akahoywanga and the attitude we would receive😭. May her soul rest in peace. Abazali bethu needed counselling nasi🤞 ngoba the damage abayishiya kuthi is too much basenza sifune ukubhaca singaze sigoduke I'm telling you. Sorry for such a long comment but I pray uberight Sisi❤️, love and light💐.
Sending you lots of love and hugs Nozi. I understand where you're coming from; the reality is that no matter what you do it will never be enough. The only thing you can do to remain sane is continue to assert your boundaries. I pray that all the love and warmth you send out to the world comes back to you and your family a hundred fold ❤
This is so relatable to most of us. And parents are not aware that this could actually end a beautiful relationship between a child and their parent. You're an amazing aunt to Lutho❤
Ow sorry Nozy banjalo abazali
Zoba ngathi awumhloniphi xa uthetha naye
You did your best and that's enough! We love you for your authentic self. You are enough! Nozi, our parents went through so much trauma which inevitably lands of children. It's the generational struggle for disadvantaged groups like our black families. At some point you have to choose you - your wellbeing, your now family. We are the "too kind" people who end up depleted because we prioritise others first and our needs last. To make it, we have to CHANGE and be OK with prioritising YOU. The beginning of your BECOMING is the awareness and I think God brought Lumi for exactly that. Do what you can and God will do the rest! Unfortunately you can't be the BE ALL for mother dearest. Everyone needs to do their part, including managing their expectations. A colleague once said that because the parents divorced, he became a clutch for his mom and fulfilled his father's responsibilities. It's quite a heavy burden and we need to charge this with our children. Please take care and be comforted that you went above and beyond for your family and that's enough. Change is not embraced by most but the change is very necessary and beneficial even for parents. On the side note, as uncomfortable as it may be to confront your elders, bullying must be called out for what it is. Nawe ungumntu!
Amen. This change will help them both learn to “leave and cleave.” They must in order to allow themselves and their parents to grow.
❤ thank you. Yoo guyz😢 this is therapy for me ryt now❤
c
❤❤❤
l 100% agree❤👍💯💐
You need to set boundaries on family Nozi.. worse part you are a mother now
, you have the biggest priority
Yes the is no other way, than to set them. She does alot already, has her own responsibilities now kwanele sisi❤
Hey Nozi, I’m also going through the same,best option is to love her as she is and have boundaries ❤The bible says “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).
Setting boundaries is actually harder than people think, especially if you are dealing with Africans parents. keep enforcing those boundaries it will pay off
True!!!
Yhooo it’s a battle with my mom! 😭
Hayi abazali bayafana shame😢
True she should enforce the boundaries and stay consistent with them
Oh Nozi, oh Nono
Uxolo baby. 🥺🥺🥺
Thank you for your ‘rawness’ and always being authentic. I know how taxing Black tax can be, and unfortunately because of the heart you have, you’ll continue pouring out of your cup despite not being appreciated by those you selflessly give.
But I want to remind you that ‘Blessed is the hand that giveth’ - May the good Lord open wide the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing over you and your family that you may not even have enough room to receive it.❤❤❤❤Love you VERY much.
Please spend this on yourself- no one else, not even Lumi.😊
Thank you so so much!
When you said “umntanam” i totally felt lo “I’ve never been so happy in my life”… I love you Nozi, you deserve all things beautiful. Lumi came at God’s perfect time and YESSSSSS NGOWAKHO BABY GIRL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Lutho is very pretty, the dimples 😍😍😍😍😍😍. God bless you Nana
Skhu is so blessed to have a wonderful wife and a great mother to his son. I love the way you bond with Skhu's mother, she is so sweat. Love you gal ❤
Pastor and his wife are a perfect example of “umntu ongena apho angafunekiyo khona”…. Our parents break us daily and it’s not an easy topic, I’m glad you opened up sisi. Many are in the same or similar situation, and it’s just hard 😢. Much love from Norway 🇳🇴
I think they want her to pay tithe and they expect her to have more money
“Our parents break us daily” I felt that to the core....kunzima and so wrong of them to do this to us worse they are our parents for crying out loud 😢
OK furniture online ln
Lutho's smile..She's soo adorable!
Those dimples😍
Say it again ❤️❤️
This one hit different! A mom who is never wrong, no matter how wrong they are, always the victim, toxic, my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel
I got so emotional because I know exactly what you are talking about. Your mom’s approach is exactly like my mom’s, always right and always the victim. She overlooks what I do for her, especially when I do something for myself she will always say that yena akanakwa. So in 2021 I was unemployed and there was a month I needed her help financially (she is a teacher) and all she did was complain and never helped me, I have since learnt to be selfish and I’m fine being viewed that way.
oh yini guys this generational emotional abuse has to end here. yhu umgodi ongagcwali
This is my mom😢
Be selfish sis yooo reka fela. 💞
My mom used to be like that. I spent years using taxis while working because I couldn’t do anything for myself. 80% of my salary was spent on her and my siblings. Until I learned to say NO!
Sounds like my mom😭
Black tax is causing so many people to fall into depression. God bless you for all you do for your family Nozi and Skhu
It’s the fact that Lutho can’t even seriously lie about blocking her 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Well done Nozie nd Skhu! You guys did exceptional for Lutho's matric dance. Some kids that have both parents couldn't have such moment, couldn't afford the outfit ,but you guys made sure that Lutho has everything that she needs. Kwande apho nithatha khona
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I want to thank my mom for never being entitled to me taking care of her. And always being appreciative of whatever I can do for her.
Exactly hle...😊
I love this for you sis, but sometimes we are tone deaf to people's experiences because we can't relate.... Read the room sometimes please sis.
Tjhoooo me too hey..this is very sad.
Same ey😍 I wish all mothers can stop being too entitled 😪, that puts so much pressure on kids.
My mom too,I’m so greatful
No need to apologize Nozi. Proud of the authentic human you are. May God comfort you man, He knows how hard you work for your family.
Yhuuu im looking at that! ♥️♥️♥️
I can feel your pain Nozi, nothing is as painful as knowing that you do your best but people don't see it, worse your own mum, hugs to you sis.
High expectations on your normal salary plus your own family,worst part traveling is expensive so much.
That "i've never been so happy mtanam" part had me on tears❤️🙏.
Same😢
the BEST!
You know what?! So so many of us can relate and I’m glad you’re sharing it as real as it is. Going home is mad expensive. If it’s not the expectations, be it silent or shared it’s the guilt of not doing this or that even when it’s something you hadn’t planned. It’s a lot Shem. Thank you for keeping it real
Oh kodwa you are the best aunt ever😊Lutho is so blessed akamhle mntana ka makazi😍😍
uLutho looked stunning for her matric dance the car and the dress was a combo that was communicating, thank you sis Nozi you are so authentic. And I'm sorry about what you're experiencing with your mom set boundries even when its uncomfortable for your sanity
Being a mother suits you Sis'Nozi🥺😍
This makes me emotional because people are so entitled and ungrateful. I personally appreciate your vulnerability, you are narrating a story of many.
This is why some people just choose solitude. Some homes are toxic yeyiiii!!
Side note: you look so beautiful mmagwe Lumz 🥰
I can't get over how adorable Lutho is... ngathi una 14 sana ushishi😍🥰
Adorable girl I wish to see her more ❤️❤️
One thing I love about you is that .
Your vulnerable shame .
Your authentic and raw .
I hear you sis Nozi. it’s heart breaking when family starts taking advantage of your generosity. Thumbs up for leaving the place for your sanity. God sees everything He will not leave you nor forsake you
Lutho is SOOOOOO beautiful 😭❤️
Right!mhle sana ubaby girl❤
Very❤
Way toooooo beautiful sana🥺🥺🤌😭🔥
She’s soo beautiful ❤️😍
Yoooh Nozi, my husband and I were having this conversation 2 days ago just before his trip home. We were talking about how our parents and siblings back home have sooo many money expectations when you go home you must literally be loaded and it's so sad because asizugoduka ngoku because of that. My husband was reciting a story about how he walked in ehletywa zi siblings zakhe a while back besithi ebesiyaphi xa engenamali ngeloxesha already he has done more than we had budgeted for qha kufuneka everytime kukho into efunwayo iphume kuye it's really sad but ke kuyedlula Sana and God knows how much you do and uyongeza...abazali bethu the older they grow they become kids and unreasonable don't let it affect your mental health too much uLumi needs a strong and happy mother brush it off sisi uphinde uthathise...sending you hugs❤❤❤
You are doing your best ❤
Not me going to check prices of washing machines on takealot . Nozi I am sorry for what you are going through sisi wam. Here you are apologising and if only you knew how much I personally love this vlog. You’re vulnerable, relatable and touching many hearts sisi. Speaking to your mom who has her ways set indeed will not help. The only person you can change in this situation is you cause you’re responsible for your inner peace. “Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.” Setting boundaries will most certainly rock the boat, however it must be done before it leads to resentment. Your best Nozi is enough, infact you do exceedingly and above which makes me so proud. None of Mommies complaints are your fault. Resistance and upsetting things will be said about you when drawing the line in establishing healthy boundaries. It comes with the territory and let them be so long as Nozi’s internal dialogue is in control. It’s not an easy step to take sisi. Keep shining 🌟
By being vulnerable, you’re healing some of us who are experiencing the same thing but have nowhere to share….thank you. Phepi Nozi….
So true 😢
True cc❤😢
Spot on
I know how u feeling mntase... Mna kunzima nokugoduka sometimes bcos imeko yaseKhaya ifana nalena yakho... Sad part ihv siblings who are not even bothered bona yiSituation leyo... Yhuuu... NOZI kuninzi Shame😢
Hi Nozi you are not alone alot of us going trough that
I’m glad you have a brother who expiriences your mom with you,I feel sorry for anyone who’s an only child going through such severe black tax.Thanks for sharing
😢 words can’t accurately explain iswear
But parents usually target one child
@@ncisept5900
Exactly! The good, hardworking one who seems easy to manipulate.
So true, 😢😢
@@ncisept5900 yhuu! So true and the irresponsible one kuthwe "yho ai uyamazi lowo into yakhe yeyakhe" as if wena unyanzelekile wenze yonke lento uyenzayo
Nozi don’t even stress! You are doing well. uMama needs to find her own happiness. You can give her R100000 she would still complain. It’s not even about you. For me my mum stresses me I IGNORE! If she is fed, well clothed, has food on her table and a roof over her head then life continues. As for the pastor’s wife block or ignore as well. Sorry sis!
Wow guys we need prayers.😢😢
So true. Thats what matters qha. Has long she doesnt sleep hungry qha
Now I understand why your man is always making you laugh, he knows what you are going through ❤️❤️❤️. Don't feel bad mama
Yoh Nozi 🥺🥺 As a new mom of a newborn I sympathise with you. It’s already exhausting being a new mom now I can’t imagine feeling so emotionally drained from such an experience. Askies sisi 💕💕💕 Thank you for sharing and being raw with us. Some wouldn’t have even posted ukuthi it didn’t turn out the way it did. Siyabonga for taking us through your journey.
All we can do is change the narrative for our children and correct our parents mistakes by the way we raise our own. This was so heart felt
Today at work I was telling them the same
Fully agree. It's so sad though, we somehow have to protect our children from the same people whom one would assume is a safe place.
So true..thts all we can do
I felt it too😢
💯
Oh my word Lutho is so adorable I love her smile 😊
😢Seeing how you are treating your niece made me so emotional, and you cardling your baby made me worshipping God within my spirit. I'm busy watching and it is so beautiful. I wish you all the best dearest ❤❤❤❤
Oh Nozi❤ thank you for being so real and unfiltered. Honestly your experience is so relatable. Our parents need to ease their expectations and start being appreciative and considerate. You did more than enough, your are generous and your big heart is evident. Sending you a big virtual hug 🫂
No need to apologize for being yourself and raw, you are human and I appreciate your vulnerability as most of us are reminded that we are not alone in times when we experience the same.
Your vulnerability and honesty is unmatched. You are so courageous, strong and pure. Thank you for letting us in and godspeed for you always. You're an inspiration to so many of us. We have your back Sis, stay strong.
All can say is SORRY Nozi. I understand you, its ok to feel that way. Love and light to you and Skhu❤
Black tax is real, and it's depressing. I feel you sisi
And it's a very painful habit from parents to us as kids😢😢😢it is very unfair.. the more you do things for them.. is the more they want from you.. it never ends..
The worst scenario of black tax is if it’s coming from inlaws 😐
Oh marn ngxesi Nozl😢
Watching the last part of your video made me so emotional, especially because you are always such a jolly person. I know exactly what you are going through first hand. Unfortunately sometimes whatever we do to please our parents will just never be enough and trying to make them understand "talk to them" is sometimes received as disrespect. This is why I usually tell people that we can never change our elders behavior no matter how much we try, they've lived like that for all their lives, the only thing we have control over is how WE react to the things they do and as cruel as this may sound, for our own sanity, sometimes distancing ourselves from them while still providing for them to our ability is what one needs to do.
I can relate Nozi. I've learned to be open and honest about my limitations. I cannot deal with toxicity, my mental health is above everything. I pray you realize you are doing well and raise Lumi(and the others that will follow) with enough love to break the generational curses. I live for myself and children's well-being
The way Skhu looks like his mother... What a beautiful vlog sisi thank you ❤❤
Akamhle Lutho,I love her dimpled face🥰🥰😍
Sisi, you are doing a great job taking care of your family and raising your newborn baby . What you doing is enough, Mama ❤. Sending love ❤️ and hugs 🫂 🤗
The way I love this family is beyond ❤️❤️ I stopped doing my assignment to watch this. I love you guys❤️❤️
Me too🤭I'm busy with an assignment but I stopped to watch
I guess we are all here, we have paused our assignments🤣🤣
Sis. I'm writing tomorrow but I just realized school is temporary 😂😂😂❤️. Even dropped a Call for this one
I took a break from studying. Usually i take 15mins, but ndizixelela aa le 45mins is my break
@@biancamadubedube9679njee sana dim lowo whose in a 30 min break from studying but this one I have to finish.
Wooow Sis Nozi may God bless you for the love you showing Lutho, she was incredibly beautiful on her matric dance🎉🎉
I'm glad you opened up about this because ibizophuma lento umamakho ayisho kubantu especially since she vents kubafundisi whom are outside people. And people were gonna have a field day with you kuSocial media at least you addressed it early. And I hope the pastor and his wife see this and dismiss your mom when she vents about this. I hope you know you're doing your best and that alone is enough. ❤
Everytime I watch I get so excited and want to comment at the beginning of the video by the time the vlog end I see so many things I want to say but commenting again I don't do. My goodness I am watching Lutho, ohh Nozi you are such a blessing to a lot of people together with Skhu. I pray that you meet a lot of genuine people as long as you live, people that will give back the energy and love you always show to them ❤️.
You are so authentic and the stories you are telling are real for most of us. Sometimes this authenticity is needed for us to know we are not the only ones going through these emotions. Well done, you did your best. Travelling alone is expensive.
I remember that video you did when you talked about getting your first job and how she spoke about your salary, etc.. Yhuu hayi. At this point just go No Contact with your mom sisi. For your own sanity. Thixo asoze akubethe for taking care of yourself and the precious soul that needs you(umntanakho)
Thanks!
Thank you Nozi❤️ we need more genuine people like you, I know exactly what you are going through and aymnandaga. Sending love and hugs❤️
It's the manipulation that gets to me, the sneaky behaviour of playing a victim. I can relate Nozi, I know all about what you are going through. Our parents need to do better kodwa yaaz😔
It's called Borderline Personality d/o, these people manipulate, they are victims all the time. Kuningi! Children who's parents are bordeline go through the absolute most.
"oh mtanam" has become my favourite thing to hear you say sis Nozi😊. Much love❤
Yhuuuu Nozi!!! That ending Nkos’yam!!
When you said “I started feeling bad”
I honestly at some point started to believe ukuba mhlawumbi I’m ungrateful but then I started coming across more people that could relate!! SANA!! It’s almost as if nobody care about your problems… thank you for sharing and shedding light. A beautiful Matric dance and efforts all around ntombi and here’s to being a greater version of a mom 🎈🤗 as best as you know how too mamazi.
Ncooo...Please don't cry, New Mommy.....😢😢 it's clear that you and Skhu are going all out for your families...May the Lord strengthen you ❤❤❤
Sis Nozi you are too kind,As for me that damn Pastor and his wife,I would have left them traumatized,they would definitely need a therapist after.
😂😂😂😂This reply, I also need your liver
@@patiencevhulade1754 Awa Cc people like this are very problematic,they think theyknow everything.Even Mama had complained to them,they should have ask Nozi what is going on Mama is complaining about this and that.Just they have that relationship with Mama doesn't mean they can talk shit to Nozi.
Wena you are me mose 😂😂😂
So relatable. Thanks for your transparency and authenticity. And here’s my hug sissy🤗!
Those cute dimples run in the fam ❤
This made me cry so hard. We are always trying so hard to make our parents happy but this just validates that we never will. This reminds me of my relationship with my mother. 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you for sharing Nozi you and Skhu are amazing and you are doing the best you can. Your mental health is more important honestly. At some point I asked my mother if I should rather stop working cause when I don't have an income maybe that will give us peace. Yhoooo😢 this hit me hard honestly it's too close to home
Same here😢😢😢❤
Virtual hugs to you Sis Nozi ❤
Gentle Reminder: You are doing more than enough and good sees your heart ❤️
Oh Nozi❤ Sending you lots and lots of virtual hugs. Thank you for sharing with us, we definitely understand.
We love you, you are doing more than enough and I hope you never ever doubt that. 🙏🏽
I'm so heart broken by the end of this story 😢😢 Phephisa Noz ❤❤❤
We appreciate this kind of content sis... glad to know we're not the only ones going through black tax, no matter how much we try, it's just never enough for our families... may God help us to be better parents to our kids, that we don't feel obliged to their money, because wow! We're going through alot
Everything you said at the end of this video... just EVERYTHING. It's sooo emotionally taxing and mentally straining.
😢😢😢😢
Bless your heart! Your mum sounds like a character!
Lutho is so cute - love her dimples 🥰
She's just adorable baby doll
I totally understand mna Nozi it is absolutely draining dealing with a mother like that. I relate so much to this. Your best is just never enough💪🙏keep strong. I love you
My mom never asks from us, we do things when we can help and that’s a blessing on its own. My husband sort of set boundaries with the in-laws side, he never does something that we cannot afford at the time. When we can help we help and I feel blessed that we don’t have that much pressure.
Sending virtual hugs to you Nozi❤
Yhoooo alamhle Lutho wooooow sebenzile Sisi,as for Mama myeke Sana akhonto noyenza ,am sure kuba ukwi spotlite so ulindele menzele nezulu nomhlaba nenzalisekonyalo Sana,ngabazali ke abo,so strong's guys ❤
I can relate to this experience. You are not alone and I’m glad you shared. Don’t apologise. You have paved a way for most of us. We are in this together. Your mental health comes first indeed❤
Parents can be frustrating coming to finances. I thought it was only me, I really now understand sibaningi. It's a lot mabakhula. And nje economically things are tight. It's a lot honestly
After watching this vlog I told my mum how appreciative I am of her because she never ask and will stop you from using money....and will say its unnecessary and save......
I felt my heart break for you Nozi, yet again we know that most of us it is our family culture for parents to act so entitled without ever considering what we go through to change or break the circle of poverty😭, hope you are healing as Lumi deserves a healthy happy mom.
Everything in me wanted to give an opinion and perspective. So many emotions, my heart broke so many times for you. After my own internal venting, I realised what we need to do is pray for you and pray for those affected like you. I am so sorry. 😢 I know you weren’t looking for pity or looking to dishonour your mom in anyway. You delivered this in a very dignified manner.
Lumi should take centre stage. Yibethelele Nozi ntoba klk ndinosana ngoku izinto azizokufana. Ndicela undicingele. Yithethe qho izakude ingene kuye. Itshomi zikaMamakho ziyeke zona. They will eventually see things from your perspective. You really needed to vent Sisi. Yonwaba noLumi enjoy and embrace motherhood 💙
So sorry Nozi, sending you virtual hugs. I can't imagine how hard it must be to navigate such a difficult situation with someone you love, All I can say is.. do not feel guilty for wanting the distance and ignore the outside noise because they are speaking from a lack of knowledge and understanding, don't let their words have power over you.
That’s what we call a vlog😅 it has its highlights and twists along the way…. Thank you for sharing it all…. I’m sure the minute you went in and looked at those adorable little eyes of lumi 🫠 , he was the light that lifted your heart . Mamie all I can say, what you doing is more than enough, you doing a pretty damn good job. I love you! Stay blessed, stay healthy
You are not alone sisi. It came to a point for me, when they all passed may their souls rest in peace, I felt a sense of relief.
Oh Nozi you are going over and above and beyond mntakabawo. Abazali for some weird reason once uphangele they have expectations of their own on how they want to LIVE their lives through us and kengoku kho nezitshomi zabo zase calen esp for you being in the public eye now uMama funeka kucace ba unentombi esezintweni if you get what I mean, that’s how our mothers are and it’s wrong! Good that you tell her NO bubulumnko obo. Worry yam lento can earlier come between you and Skhu abonakale nje ngo mama ongoneliyo okusengayo ikubandise endodeni yakho so good for you for standing your ground. You’d find ke nale mali ayfuna kangaka uzoyghalela yonke eCaweni abuye athi akanamali.
Good job Nozi you’ve done an exceptional job with your mother and siblings now it’s time for YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY Lumi is the centre of your word now !!!
Yhooo mntanabantu yhuu abazali that is why kukho oKhumbulikhaya abantu bayawashiya amakhaya for good ngoba kaloku zange uzicelele ukuba kulomhlaba and yilento ulutsha oluninzi luzibulala izinto ezinje uvuka sowuthrender hayi sana abazali ngoku abakukhiliseli ukuba ukwazi ukuzimela into endiyibonayo abazali bethu baya gamblisher ngathi ba awunamali kunzima Ugoduka ngoba woowu😊😊🙉
The cheering up from other pupils is so beautiful ❤❤
Sorry for the drama Nozi and Skhu, God knows your hearts. Enjoy that 2 month old cute little gift and blessing❤
Been a mom suits u sis nozi lumi is growing fast want u feeding him,his so adorable 🥰💞
Kamhleeee u Lutho💕💞♥️ well done Nozi ,as for abazali yhoooo sana sometimes you even wish bungagodukanga xolo sisi abazali can be so toxic baworse ngento enemali phakathi yhuuu abazali 😭😭
I completely understand how you feel. You did your best, and that's enough. I love your authenticity. That's one thing I love about you. I hope you feel better.
Suxolisa sis' Nozi. We totally understand what you went through and you're right, no amount of talking with our mothers can make them accept or understand the stress they put us through. Protect your mental health sisi coz kunzima kwidepression, I know first hand. I love you❤❤❤
Ohh I felt the love when you said you are soooo happy with Lumi in your life ♥️ oh torho sisi maan..
Mamela uLutho looked soooo stunning 😍
There is no way that her mom is not proud of you.
Well done, you are doing a good job 👏
Thanks for being raw and being vocal about your feelings.. iXolo sthandwa, iXolo..
Detox and pray about it, Oh uThixo uzonipha amandla oko oko noSkhu..
Xolo Shishi, yhini Mama zeLumi, Nkosikazi yaseMatshaweni..
I love you Fam ♥️
Sending hugs and love❤🤗. I know from experience how painful it is going through this with a parent. You don't deserve to be treated this way. You do so much already. And you have a little one on top of all this. The thing that has helped me in this situation is to cut contact with my mother because without fail everytime i spoke to her she would ask me for money. She always has a list of things she needs paid for and never asks whats going on with me or if im even coping, let alone have a roof over my head. I only speak to her when i go home and even then i limit how much i interact with her. It will never stop unless you put a stop to it as painful as it is. It will bring you more peace and keep you from feeling like you're losing your mind❤. People will probably judge you for it but it doesn't matter, you come first. You've already given everything you have
I have the exact same mother, exactly! You are right, you need to save your emotional self otherwise you’ll always question your efforts. Hugs!!
Yho the ending sana😭😭😭 Konje sibaninzi aba go through the most when it comes to family. Andisebuhlungu yho hayi🤗🤗🤗🤗 may God continue to bless you mntase khaya for continuing to do best. 🤗
I love listening to isi'Xhosa so beautiful to hear even though I don't speak nor understand love all the way from Angola☸
Sending you a virtual hug Nozi! Don't apologize for speaking your truth hey, you are the one who knows how far your budget can reach. You did the best you could do and that was good enough!
Oh Nozi I love how raw and real you are, I’m sure I speak for almost everyone when I say we can resonate to what you are going through just know we understand and you are doing exceptionally good ❤
You went all out for Lutho 😍 and you are doing more than enough Nozi. I don't know what it is with parents and not understanding when you can't do something. I really hope they realize how much they hurt us because of that. Sorry that you couldn't enjoy your time at home as much as you wanted to.
Yhooo Nozi, you just awakened a whole lot of emotions kum sana😭 as I know very well lento uthetha ngayo yeblack tax engapheliyo😔. Mine used to wake me up every pay day mntase ingekakhali kwakum ayiraide mntase phofu sendixelelwa ngabantwana abangenapapa, and her monthly installment ekufuneka eyikhuphile kwabrands yekitchen unit yakhe yeR14 000🤦🏿. Mntase all 4 of us her children bayamnika imali on different dates throughout the month so uvele ubelost ba inoba uyithini imali losisi but you wouldn't dare ask her mntase yhooo😔, but sana you would swear besingamniki necent and apho ibibabuhlungu khona is how she spoke about us ebantwini as if akahoywanga and the attitude we would receive😭. May her soul rest in peace. Abazali bethu needed counselling nasi🤞 ngoba the damage abayishiya kuthi is too much basenza sifune ukubhaca singaze sigoduke I'm telling you. Sorry for such a long comment but I pray uberight Sisi❤️, love and light💐.
Hellos mama thank you for blessing us with a lovely vlog ♥️ Cute Lutho
Sending you lots of love and hugs Nozi. I understand where you're coming from; the reality is that no matter what you do it will never be enough. The only thing you can do to remain sane is continue to assert your boundaries. I pray that all the love and warmth you send out to the world comes back to you and your family a hundred fold ❤