@@doodlebob3758 In the current climate of the world economically and also within the position of someone literally disabled as high functioning autism often can be it isn't as easy as just "move out". Even if it were moving out is incredibly stressful for everyone involved regardless of disability / disorder and might not be an easy choice to make especially if you have a good relationship with those you already live with or even more so if they are your main line to human contact as a lot of autistic people can be isolationist and might not receive human touch like hugs and stuff without family being there with them. Furthermore these people might still be considered "carers" within the eyes of the government due to the individuals disability which makes moving out even harder as usually more is involved in the separation of the carer role legally.
@@kiraaofthedust8123 the "carers" thing doesnt pertain to autistic people, just anyone taking care of a sickly relative. I get the whole human touch thing, but suck it up. You're autistic, but that shouldnt stop you from being an independant functioning member of society. You have to find your niche in this unautistic society. Trust me, it's possible. Dont be a loser.
@@doodlebob3758 I understand that but as someone who has a carer despite being an adult i'm also taking my bachelors currently it isn't like I can't function in a large majority of the society I live in it is just that some things that afflict me are things that require a carer. Though I might be an extreme case according to my psychiatrist so take it with a grain of salt I suppose. At the end of the day everyone wants to be independent and useful in this world i'm sure even losers want to be something rather than nothing :)
You also have to take into account the fact that we are constantly and incessantly being bomarded and neurologically assaulted by sensory overload and many us find it impossible to ever get real rest. So we never have neurological rest and recovery. And we are socially abused and bullied all the time which doesn't help.
I used to have a secret time-out event every week, lunch at 2.45 pm at Chillis every Thursday. I never told anyone where I was going, not even my wife. I always ordered soft tacos with guacamole and fries and a large iced tea, the waitresses knew that, so they would place the order as soon as I arrived at the door, so I always gave them a good tip. It was ME time. The only such time I got, as I was in demand at work or home all the rest of the week. Did I deserve this luxury? Who knows. Well, it kept me sane. It was like a pressure relief valve. A predictable routine, and therefore a release from stress, as that predictability meant no surprises to have to contend with, and surprises for autistic people can be darn tedious to cope with. I got enough of those the rest of the week, doing IT support.
Did you deserve this luxury? I can't believe there aren't 1000 replies to this question, all proclaiming YES! Yes, absolutely you deserve this period of separation from stresses, as much as you deserve sleep. Also, all the people around you benefit from it as well - your decisions to support your best functioning will also secondarily benefit all those in your community. That's how we work. I'm glad you were in touch with yourself to give this to yourself.
You mean, someone is taking it seriously when you say something is a problem instead of discounting it and abusing you for having difficulty? Which only deepens the problem, accelerating the burnout. I've seen several videos by him, and so far, almost every single one has had me in tears because FINALLY someone was expressing what I couldn't.
I like it too. I recently went into meltdown, and started taking 5 min 3x a week to sit/stand (comfortable) alone, and sort of meditate (if I have an errant thought I forgive myself, and let it go), but I think or look at a problem or my life as a whole, no expectations, no judgements, and I think okay, there it all is, what will make more comfortable/happy. It often goes more than 5 min, but no stress I can always commit to 5 min. Anyway, I now think I've been living a life of managed self expectations.. Everyone should take more time out to clear the head and pay attention to your deepest needs, they're often the quietest I suspect, they are for me. Peace, Brahman.
my experience with Autistic burnout is an amplified depression and apathy. I am there now. My dog passed away 2 months ago and that broke my heart even more.
@@play-fool "Deep Dark Place" sounds like a song title. That song could be about depression and burnout. I am already writing a song about sensory overload called "Noir Reservoir".
@@BW9971i will subscribe to you, and hope i can hear it one day. thats the funny, ironic thing, though, I think: the dark should be empty, but it isnt. the dark is saturated, rich in its own way, just with things you would never ask for. its the perfect feeling/place to write a song about, theres so much to explore of whats never seen!
I remember when our last family dog died. Up to the day she passed, I would have sworn I didn't even particularly like that mutt. But I was blindsided by how much I missed her presence after the fact! I must have mourned that dog for a year.
I think I've been having burnouts for decades but unaware what is was... Every 6/8 months I'll have a shutdown where I'll pull the blinds down and stay in bed for 3 whole days.. After which I'll get up, shower change my bedding and carry on facing my world! You said the word I've been searching for.. "RESET" that's what I was unconsciously doing all these years!
I started feeling better when I stopped feeling ashamed for spending time with my special interest. Yes, going outside, regular showers and doing sports is good too, but they all require a lot of energy. engaging brain in something it wants to be challenged in was much easier. to research, create, write...that was a good way to not only get easy-produceable happiness-feels in my brain, but also to prove myself that I am not stupid. from there is was much easier to work in other areas.
you made me think about my years of journalist, and I loved that profession because of that. When it got repetitive, boring, and a job... lost interest and changed to work with the plants I was writing about... C4nmbs.
Just realized this. I really like researching about theology and history. Just being alone and learning. Hard to find people with the same interests as me so I’m going to start a UA-cam channel. I want to invest in myself. That’s what I like to do in my free time. Learn and teach. Just had a burn out. Been 2 weeks. Finally feeling better. Trying to figure out when to notice a burn out. It can be so hard to tell. Thank you for the signs.
I have found that quitting your job and finding another one can get you out of a slump, may be extream but if you are in a good position financially it can be a game changing move
Getting a job is about having a commercially viable personality. If they detect a hint of trauma or abnormality, you don't get the job. Getting a job for me, is a fucking job.
Then I have the stress of starting a new job, regret because I left a good boss and then I was lost for a year in the world and went back to the original job and back in same spot mentally.
@MichelleHell I have found that the most important mask I ever built was that of Willing Sincere Pleasant Competent Job Seeker. I would put that one on and go off to find a new job. You are so right about finding a job being a job!!
Oh for love… this good doctor put CITATIONS in the transcript. This is creative genius and compassionate to folks diligently trying to solve desperate circumstances with demonstrable evidence
This is one of the best videos I've found on autistic burn out. You covered a lot of things other people leave out. On the water thing, I'd like to add, that ideal water temp depends on the person. I've had arthritis since I was little, so the cold water suggestions made me cringe. Warm or hot water works better for me, because cold water hurts, but I love being near oceans, rivers, or any natural body of water. It balances the soul. I live near a river now.
I’ve always found water a mood lever but since my diagnosis last year I’m using it more and more! Noticed significant downsides when I miss my now weekly swims
I almost always shower in cool water. I also live near a creek but unfortunately it often goes dry... like what this world has done to my soul. I've been burned out for a while now. Can't seem to get out of it. I feel dumb as hell, exhausted all the time, zero motivation, and even have trouble thinking of even the simplest things. Best video on the subject. I wish it helped me though.
Yeah when I got stressed at work I would fantasize about jumping off the roof. I never came close in afterwards I did feel like I was being dramatic, but it is nice to hear that it wasn't just me. Thankfully I don't get to that point anymore, but although I am normally a happy optimistic person, when something goes wrong I can immediately get to a helpless hopeless state, so fast it's unbelievable
I was in highschool, fantasies of jumping off the grain elevator roof in a nearby rural town. Big problem: how do I access the interior stairs in that structure. Nearest thing to a skyscraper anywhere around, 3 1/2 stories.
Whats hard is when you know your autistic but don’t realize it until your an adult and now it feels like just seeking a diagnosis is impossible let alone getting help! And it’s so hard for my literal brain to accept my autism without an official diagnosis. Even though my trauma counselor has noted my neurological differences and said she can see my autism she is just not licensed to make any diagnosis which I know that. It makes having autism so much harder when the medical world makes it so hard for adults that fell through the cracks as kids because they over looked girls with autism and even if they found both autism and ADHD they would only diagnose ADHD, that is what happened to me. Now we are going through the diagnosis process with my daughter and it is still a struggle just to get the diagnosis. Like I’m sorry I’m not having fun over here, having autism is a daily struggle why do they make the diagnosis so difficult to obtain especially when they say earlier intervention is key?😭
When you present a child to a physician they will see if the child is autistic very fast... if your physicians don't think your girl is far on the spectrum then you can trust them tbh. You want to protect her and help her bc you were not diagnosed - but you probably also weren't shown to a physician with that notion... so it might be that you see yourself mirrored in her and think she has autism or tendencies towards that... which she might not have... having a diagnosis can be very good for children who have issues but actually detrimental for kids who don't have a developmental disorder - which autism is... i don't know the symptoms of your daughter and so i can't say much about that... but you have to validate your own feelings about your disorder before yourself, so you can see her objectively. Much love to you and your kid!
By the time my daughter's diagnosis was over, I was so burnt out I could barely function. And I thought I would try to get my own diagnosis after she got hers. But I don't think I can handle going through that whole process all over, again for myself. Plus, there's really no help for us anyway. It is frustrating.
@@AdelaideAndLulu you are so right it is so frustrating and overwhelming. And for adults, it feels nearly impossible to get a diagnosis. Just because the psych community didn't fully understand autism as a spectrum when we were younger (let alone that girls and women present differently in some regards) we can have autism too. Then we are left to struggle on our own. And you are right even if we were to get a diagnosis in adulthood there is no help for us. It's not like people grow out of being autistic and if we couldn't get the help as children we still need that help. I am hoping to earn my psych degree and specialize in diagnosing adults on the spectrum and looking into getting them in with occupational therapy. However, I'm a ways off from accomplishing that goal. Just hoping I can find a way to help our community to not struggle so much in the diagnosing process.
for your child occupational therapy can be very helpfull, and if she has a form of mutism a logopedic therapeutic intervention could help as well... as a grown up, you can still try to opt for finding ways to better deal with your struggles... if you go day by day and acknowledge and be happy about the small steps you make for feeling better, you are on a good path....@@AdelaideAndLulu
I know personally how hard getting diagnosed can be. It wasn't until senior year of high school I was tested for it through my school(nice they did so) but because I was a senior, and the results were that I needed more testing, the state decided to let me graduate instead of spending another dime. Took another 13 years to finally have an official diagnoses.
I've never liked being touched by others. Thats why I have a fear of being hospitalized as I age. I refuse invasive testing & most anything with any degree of risk.
My cats would touch me. 😢 And they'd meow so loudly during mealtime. Moving around, weaving in-between my legs. Tails and fur. It was devastating. Thankfully, I like my cat again. And can pet him.
As someone who was raised mormon and had to attend early morning seminary for all 4 years of high school, lol thank you for the shout out. That shit sucked and definitely contributed to the burnout I experienced.
Yes!!! I felt seen when he said zero period (which I had) and seminary before that. 🧟♀️ And I was obsessed with getting good grades, so I would often stay up until 2am studying or doing school work because I had to help my younger siblings with their’s first. And of course, I was undiagnosed, no wonder I’ve always struggled with burn out!!!
Utah was nuts to spend time in. The LDS organization would own a building on public school property there to give religious instruction. I was so confused, like ummm we're in America guys don't know if y'all heard of separation of church and state? SLC should really just be its own country for the organization like the Vatican is for Catholics.
It's encouraging to see a doctor who is autistic himself so passionately advocating for the support of his patients and other autistic individuals. This contributes to raising awareness about the needs and strengths of people within the autistic spectrum and improving their quality of life. In my opinion, the advice provided here is highly relevant and can offer valuable assistance to many autistic individuals and their families. Emphasizing self-acceptance and self-care is a central theme that can help many autistic people better navigate the challenges of daily life. It's important to recognize that excessive sensory overload can affect anyone, and the self-preservation advice mentioned here is meaningful for all individuals. Acknowledging autism as a constitutive difference rather than a deficit is perhaps the most crucial message that can help reduce prejudices and misunderstandings and make life easier for autistic individuals.❤
My safe space is my workshop and a full bath, lying up to neck deep, for at least an hour. I have to be so so hot to have cold showers. I like warm/hot baths, especially during cold snaps. I always used to think it was perhaps related to the safety of the womb. I think I’m right, considering I lost my mom 34 years ago at age 19. At 53 now, I miss my mom more than ever.
This! I used to have an hour-long soak at least once a month, it really did help me to reset. I would have a really soft background track to listen to, sometimes I would burn a candle... Now I live in a place where I have a shower only... Will take a while before I will be able to move to a different place.
I was told it was depression too. I have had anxiety, even loss of speech, but I never felt "depressed." And an antidepressant almost killed me, because, as I tried to warn my psychiatrist, I react directly to all kinds of substances. Now my physical health is greatly compromised, which can be depressing at times.
I hate this. It's either masking to the point of breakdown or being infatilized and losing your autonomy. I won't pretend I'm not resentful to the world about being treated like this.
After years of struggle, combined with experiences that left me with PTSD, I burned out after trying to go to college in my early thirties. I have lived for the last twenty years unable to understand why I was so stuck and unable to cope. Then my brother's kids all got an autism diagnosis, which led to me getting assessed. I'm autistic, but only learned that at the age of 56, last year. I might also have ADHD as well. Because I didn't understand autistic burnout I spent so much time being angry with myself. Why, when there are certain things I can do so well, could I not have a productive life like my friends. I spent all these years hiding how unwell I was from everyone, my family especially. This list of strategies has been so helpful. Some things I've been discovering myself. My cat just died, after 17 years. I didn't realise how much I relied on him to regulate me until he was gone. Suddenly I have a much greater need to stim, with some things like vocal stimming increasing so much more than before. I'm happy to have found your channel.
Same here... I'm 59 female.. and strongly believe I have many autistic traits and adhd.. Both adult sons and one daughter diagnosed as adults.. One niece is suss and 4 nephews have asd to varying degrees and three of their boys have autism/add so looks like a very high likelihood... But I feel somewhat embarrassed to ask my Dr about myself at this age!
You I can relate to 🎉 I'm 61 when my shrink tells me I'm autistic. Aha.. The thing with going to college I've done several times. I managed to get two degrees but found each time I burned out. I also found I had no use for them. ADHD don't get me started. Thank you mirror. ❤😂
D) All of the Above 😂 The real problem is the way our society functions. I need days to retreat without being afraid of loosing my job. A steady schedule and better pay (without inflation cancelling the gains) would dramatically balance out the time I have to work versus time I have to recoup and to live my purpose. Great video 👍 Thank you for sharing ✌️
Hey, I just want to mention that severe burn out for neurotypicals can also lead to them being bedridden and is not cured with a Spa day. I think it’s due to the term burn out being used a lot in the wrong context. For a neurotypical to get burnt out means they’re going through months and years of high stress due to personal and work circumstances + personality. There is different phases and if someone has completely worn themselves out they will have to recover for months and years even and have problems with executive functioning. I just want to make sure that people know that burn out is a very serious condition, also if you’re a neurotypical person.
Had a severe burnout. Took 10 years to regain some resilience. Another 5 to find things that helped my adrenals so I could feel awake more than 3 hrs a day. That was 30 yrs ago. Burnout, adrenal fatigue, nervous breakdown.....labels don't really encompass the magnitude of the demise. I sincerely hope that all of you on the verge of pushing past your limits can step back far enough from the edge , give yourselves some grace and space to recover. I always thought I was just less social an " introvert" but too many boxes are checked. And I have finally been able to unravel some of the mysteries of my functioning and also the potholes. Suspect AUhd
Or perhaps those people aren't actually neurotypical. We know there are more people with autism than are diagnosed, and many of us don't get diagnosed until later in life.
This is my question too. It seems like all the adult ND burnout videos are from people with a decent amount of privilege who aren’t having to beg for income from SSDI or employer disability plans and fight social justice issues with lack of family support or decent laws to protect us. The response below is to get help. Really? Help doesn’t exist. Bootstraps, sink or swim doesn’t work, contributes further to burnout cycle.
@@SideB1984 I posted my story in detail in another comment on this video a few minutes ago, but this is precisely my question. I didn't realize I was autistic. I now have a family of five to support on one income and hit the massive burnout wall in the last year or so. Can't afford to stop most of the stressful things in life / stop working to actually recover, even though my mind is actually kind of 'broken' right now and on some days I can't even get any work done at all no matter how long I sit at the screen and try.
@@asimplenameichose151 sending love and compassion your way. I don’t have children but I sympathize with your situation. I had to leave my career and navigate horrific retaliation and abuse from employer and disability carrier. They say apply for SSDI but then they don’t recognize autistic burnout or chronic fatigue syndrome or really any of my invisible illnesses. Also takes years and isn’t enough income. Don’t give up, mom. You will be ok somehow, someway. 😌🩷
@@turtleanton6539What help? Where from? It's hard to find people who know how to help. What if I can't pay for the support I need? Saying "get help" seems very dismissive
I burnt out during a relationship with a narcissist. I eventually had a meltdown, and the fallout was grueling. I plant trees, chop wood and swim. it helps
I had all 12 symptoms and my GP wanted me on anti-depressants but I knew that wasn't what it was. Extra symptom - my brain felt like when you chomp on aluminum when you have metal fillings in your teeth, but it felt like that all the time when trying to use my brain at work. this was a deeper symptom to the brain fog. Magnesium was critical to help with this symptom. Major Autistic Burnout helped me realize I was autistic, but it was seven years ago and was not successful in obtaining help from professionals. thankfully my deep dive obsessions kicked into researching everything related to this.
My psychiatrist did convince me to try an antidepressant, venlafaxine, even though I told him I react strongly to all kinds of substances. Guess what, not only were the side effects and numb emotions hell, but it also landed me in the cardiac ER with dangerously high blood pressure and a suspected heart attack. Before this medication, which I only took for 36 days, I was physically healthy with normal blood pressure. After withdrawal, my system was so weakened that I got Long Covid. Spent most of 2022 in bed. Now my physical health is compromised as a direct result of the wrong treatment. And there are no accommodations for autism here in Germany. Hopefully my work can change my tasks enough to let me function with reduced capacity. At 50, I am expected to work for 19 more years, as it stands now, before I can retire. The amount of ignorance around autistic burnout is making us sicker. So grateful for this video! I wish there were (openly) autistic doctors here.
I have given up on the 'professionals.' They are either behind, unknowledgeable on the topic, unwilling to spend time on researching the root cause, or unwilling to take risks with 'off label' use of medications. And most primary cares know nothing about alternative medicine, or herbs. And never talk about vitamins. Alternative practitioners not covered by insurance. I'm so done. It's time to take our healthcare into our own hands.
I was thinming that, plus I've been burntout a few times as an adult, I can't physically start most of these tasks he's suggested no matter how much I may want to. Wanted to share this video with my parents until he started giving suggestions, definitely not one to share with NTs.
Also many of the suggestions don't necessarily work that well with extreme sensory issues. I have severe problems with touch, and for example I cannot do the breathing exercises nor yoga. Especially controlling my breathing makes me even more aware of my body and how unbearable that feels, and that causes me to go in this weird, involuntary state where I start self-harming to regulate. Like scratching and pinching myself - at worst I'll bite my arms and hands very hard. I'm even dumb enough to keep trying, because hey, breathing exercised are always recommended, so maybe I'm just wrong? And then I'll have new sets of alarming bitemarks on my forearms again... I really wish there'd be more advice available that doesn't focus on becoming more aware of one's body
@@sykomp1760Given that sensory/social overwhelm is what results in burnout, limiting any sensory input that bothers us; bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, uncomfortable temperatures, scratchy clothes, and so on; would logically be helpful. Also, reducing social interactions, especially any we find annoying and draining. Then, stimming, such as rocking, swinging, bouncing/jumping, using a fidget toy like a stress ball or a spinner, or using weighted aids, like vests or blankets. There’s a reason autistic people naturally do these things; they keep us from breaking down or becoming self-destructive! 😮💨
Ok, this temp sensitive gal isn't doing COLD showers, but I'll turn it down a degree or two! Otherwise these are things that I've definitely found helpful when I can MAKE myself do them. 65 years of not knowing about my autism...it's so weird to finally understand these things from this point of view. I remember some burn-outs...and it was the support of even one or two friends who would help by getting me out or just checking in to make sure I was alive, taking me to lunch and it was ok if I didn't talk. Just knowing someone cared in those moments was a huge gift. Anything to break that cycle of poor me. Writing has also helped me a lot...getting it out of me and onto paper. Good video.
Please read about WHM method - cold showers need a very long adaptation time for many people (it took me 2 months instead of normal people's 10 days). It is worth the effort, just make it as painless as possible. No suffering. Breathe. Relax. Accept. 1-2 degrees is good for the beginning and actually face cold splashes work well too! There are some important nerves there close to the ears so you can have a lot of benefits. :)
@@Izabela-ek5nh that is a good approach. Just do what you can just as much as you can and no more. For me splashes are a no-no, it's too stressful. Just like sudden screams in my ear my toddler's been serving me last couple of days... Those caused my recent meltdown and shutdown, so serving myself a similar shocks for other senses than hearing in addition to that is definitely a bad idea :)
I have said this about the school system since I had children. It took forever to find a specialist for my granddaughter who will be 20 yo in a few days. She is high functioning and she believes I am also?! I believe there was so much damage done to her. From grade school on, there was no one to diagnose her. She was just considered a problem and needed to be dealt with by teachers who didn’t know what else to do. She has a large family who adore her but don’t always understand . God bless anyone who goes into this field. You are so desperately needed.❤
I'm traumatized from constant burnout from attending school. Just years of constant stress, masking, and depression. Daily meltdowns. And of course I was never taught about burnout and how to recover.
Thank you for this. I feel like I’ve lived my whole life in burnout except I’m only just now starting to realize it. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome when I was 11 years old. Now I wonder if it was really just continual burnout due to masking and suppressing stims. These videos are very helpful. I want to understand myself so I can take care of myself the way I need to instead of being like a drill sergeant using brute force to push myself through normal everyday life. It’s frustrating to me because I happen to love my life and have goals I’d like to achieve but often times feel imprisoned in my own body because I need so much downtime and some time. Anyway thanks again for these videos. They’re very helpful and also help me to feel not so alone.
You've expressed how I feel very well. I've only recently started to realize that I am likely on the spectrum, and am finding these videos very helpful as well.
I feel the same way. I’ve spent half my life now feeling exhausted, not wanting to be in the company of other people, with all manner of depression, anger, loss of words (my friends call me the wordsmith because I sometimes end up making combinations of other words to describe what I’m talking about), and I never sleep well. I’ve expected I was burned out for a long time, but it didn’t fit the symptoms so perfectly. Hearing about autistic burnout sounds shockingly close to what I’ve been feeling for most of my adult life. You’re not alone, buddy.
Regular cold showers, a couple strength workouts a week, walks in nature and yoga are my strats I've found to keep myself out of burnout. Cool to see you mention all of those, I hope it helps many people so they don't have to find out all of these things for themselves like I had to. Now the other thing might be controversial, but a little bit of cannabis in the evening helps me calm down and psilocybin microdosing helps me keep anxiety down and navigate social situations better.
Ive been suffering from autistic burnout for years. It all started when i moved from a slower rural area to busy congested New Jersey to ho back to school as a nontraditional student. For 5 years i pushed myself through everything, being constantly stressed and overstimulated, constant changes and untold levels if uncertainty. Before my move, I didn't really think of myself too much as autistic, as it never really affected me much at all. But now, even though i moved back to that slower area, I feel like im forever changed and feel like i can never get back to previous functioning levels. Even though i did surprisingly well in school, I cant even manage to work now because of my continued difficulties and my anxiety. My 5 year burnout changed the course of my life and am uncertain if I'll ever be able to get some semblance of what used to be normal again.
Funny how I have the same thing living in NJ and my current job has given me 5 years of absolute burnout. Just constant meltdowns, stress, and self-imposed isolation. I even took a week's vacation and swore I'd leave on a trip to heal, but all I did was lock myself in my house and sleep the entire week. I don't grocery shop, I pay someone to do it for me. I don't do anything anymore except work and I'm so absolutely terrified of going outside, especially to work, that I just want to quit and never go outside again. I'm either going to hurt someone or myself.
Music is a huge tool for me that helps me connect with my feelings. When I can’t connect with my feelings, I find it hard to process what my needs are.
Something i feel like is worth mentioning. I've been in burnout for years now. And I dont know when I started doing this, but it's super self destructive and I feel like its something to keep an eye on. You know how you have to force yourself to get through whatever youre doing, the flip the switch moment where is doesn't really matter how awful things are anymore, you're numb but also not really? I started forcing myself into that headspace, even when it wasn't necessarily and then doing things that activity make me overestimated and then rapidly underestimating. I was straight up torturing myself. Even to the point of smoking wayyy too much weed, way more then what my limits are, just to keep ramping it up. From asking other autistic people, I took this to the extreme. But i thought it was still worth mentioning. Enjoying overstimulation and meltdowns, kinda a big red flag lol
Yeah, damn. Thanks for describing this I have been getting through the hardest year of my life after becoming houseless and couchsurfing, and definitely in this mindset. I have chronic fatigue, but resisted taking anything but the hardest physical job I could find, that had me biking to work at 6 am and going at breakneck pace for 8 hours, and my coworker calling me lazy. In my head it was to "build discipline" and prove how far I could push myself. Now I finally quit and guess what? Right back to sleeping in, depression and terrified to relax. Discipline doesn't stick when it comes from a place of self punishment but then again that's all I've ever known and whenever I live from my own enjoyment somebody ends up having a problem with me. I've noticed this too from anybody navigating poverty or impossible circumstances. When my car was stolen, and found, over Christmas, inside we found a long with a bunch of other people's registrations, a 'self-help' or business strategy book about deviant markets & aggressive tactics, evidence of meth, gas station weight loss pills and a journal with frightening images on the cover. It was like a glimpse into the mindset of a person at the bottom of society pushing themselves aggressively to "fix" themselves and crawl back up. Chilling. I regret to say how many autistic queer friends I have dealing with the fallout of meth addiction. No one does that drug unless they are desperate to chase impossible standards. It's self cruelty. But I understand the place it comes from.
I'm one of those people. Workaholism and overtraining, constantly being busy, were my ways of "disciplining" myself. I thought if I did more all the time, I'd turn a corner and finally be normal. I didn't know autistic burnout was a thing, or that my monthly cycle was making it worse, and doing things like overexercising or no carb was pushing my system into even more of an emergency state. I was diagnosed autistic at age 48. I pursued it, paid for it out of pocket, and still had to justify how someone who is "successful" and "doesn't look autistic " actually is. The scary thing is that many of the people in my family of origin have or had similar issues, yet are so dissociated or turning to substances, sex, sports, consumption, that they aren't even aware of it.if
Hey me too. Me and my family of autistic peoples, have always used weed as a escape. I’m 19, my brother isn’t even 17, my dads 40. We’ve all used marijuana the majority of our lives. I quit my job spontaneously recently…. And my reliance on marijuana is worse than ever. I’m high all day.. I guess mid all day cuz’ you can’t be high all day. We spend thousands, my dad sells too. It’s just how we live. If we don’t have weed…. We aren’t ourselves
Can’t like that. Wow. Yeah. Almost makes me wonder if you’re also ADHD… common in autistics… and maybe have some hyPOsensitivities where you’re overstimulating yourself to feel something? 😬
Burnout at age 48 eventually led me to figure out I was autistic because my autism was really prominent. It’s been five years now and I’m a little better but still in it. Radical self-acceptance, rest, meditation and leaving an abusive marriage were my strategies.
Some of you people are sadly misinformed and seemingly looking for a diagnosis. Sorry, but you're not as you believe, society is demanding, and simply for the reason that your mind occasionally or regularly struggles to manage the mass overload of information, tasks, and expectations calls into response, indeed reasonable, a series of "self-induced therapeutic" behaviors doesn't quite legitimize actual autism; why wouldn't the mind respond, what often blatantly appears to psychiatric personnel, in withdrawal type of behavior? People should stop blaming themselves and uncritically accepting an ever-widening criteria-diagnostic label because they reportedly fail to fit some kind of golden standard of behavior.
This was extremely helpful to me, I was diagnosed with autism at a young age but wasn’t told I had it till a few years ago, and I had never known that what I had thought were panic attacks, were actually a burnout. I have found your videos have helped me understand my autism and has helped me find ways to live with it better. ❤
Oh thank the lords this video confirms that the feeling of wanting death was normal when burnt out, I thought I had mood swings and the such but no, my brain was just pushing so hard that it couldn’t do it anymore and wanted to be relieved of it.
I remember one day right before start of a new year of college, I was feeling hopeless, trapped, and isolated. I know now it was going to be the start of a burnout, but at the time I had no idea. Still, intuitively, I already knew what would help me, so I jumped in my car and went to the local park, then went to multiple bookstores and libraries to fuel my special interests. It was a much needed break and I'm lucky to have such a special day to remember if things start spiraling. And I'm glad to have stumbled across this video, because now I have words for my feedings, and even more tools at my disposal to prevent burnout!
Thank you for this. I'm in burnout atm and it sucks. My monotropism means I need a lot of time to detach & get into a flow state. I'm an Autistic writer with ADHD & I haven't stopped "working" for years. It's exactly 20 years since I had a holiday. I am only alive due to a meditation practice, prayer, dogs, and the sea. I've been othered, bullied, ignored, assaulted, stalked and had multiple random attacks both physically, s
Christ it posted itself before I finished. I know, right? Anyway I'll stop oversharing and just mention I'm writing a book about what the reality of a "high functioning" high masking woman really looks like. I'm on amphetamines for ADHD and was on Lithium when I wrote my memoir about caring for my Mam who had Alzheimer's for 14 years. They thought I was a manic depressive. Under the freedom of Information act in Ireland I applied for my medical and psychiatric notes. It took phone calls letters and 6 weeks but a tome like a coffee table was delivered a month ago. Despite being redacted I read 4 pages then threw it across the kitchen. Endlessly I was explaining that I was overwhelmed, exhausted, distraught and felt like a child who couldn't understand how the world works. The response was to prescribe anti depressants & when they knocked me sideways to double them. The book is unflinching in its forensic honesty, and captures how an ND person is treated by people AND her own family. I spent Christmas alone because of my tone of voice. My friends have disappeared one by one. I've come to peace with a solitary life and have transformed my living space. I send best wishes and much love to the Doctor, and all my neurokin who know exactly what I'm saying.😏 🇮🇪✍️📷🔊🎧📽️💚🕷️ #spidersdonteatbiscuits www.shellshock.ie
I’ve read/listened/watched a ton of other resources in an attempt to get a better handle on burnout and losing skills and this was by far the best and most tangible explanation and “what to do”.Thank you, Dr.! Keep up this amazing and important work!
When I was first diagnosed I remember going to UA-cam and looking at a bunch of videos describing autism. Back then I was pretty young, and there wasn’t quite a lot of attention being paid to treating autism with respect and care (instead there was a lot of British people and Autism Speaks praying for some mythical cure). I wish I had videos like this instead when I was a kid, but I’m glad to see someone is making them now for future autistic people
It is genious. Thank you. I am on the recovery from the serious burnout. I got involved in running the restaurant which became TOO MUCH for me and I found myself escaping and feeling really bad at work and around people. Few times I just run away during the shift because I couldn't stand loud voices and long hours anymore. But what scared me the most is that the world which I usually find very beautiful became flat, gray, scary and hopeless. I didn't want my life to continue this way. I was my own boss so I had to fire myself which I did last january. Very slowly it is getting better and more days I see some hope and my creativity is slowly coming back. What is mentioned in this movie are all tactics to recover I am using and THEY WORK but you need some time. What I would like to add is something I discovered after months: be extremly good and patient with yorself. Don't push and most important: DON'T FEEL GUILTY that you are not well. Rest. A day, a week, half a year. Rest actively, go out in nature, move, breathe, create. Let yourself recover and remember: this is crucial for you to survive. Thank you for all these movies. ❤
I got my diagnosis last year from Dr. Neely. I'm still struggling to maintain employment even part time. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to participate in society and keep shelter this way.
Having such a hard time with burnout. I caretake for my grandfather and his house is absolutely disgusting. By the time I clean up his daily mess in the kitchen I’m in full sensory overload but I can’t leave. The repeat of it every day makes it so hard for me to find any semblance of escape. The lack of help from his daughter does not help. She will gaslight me constantly and tell me that I’ve never brought up issues with him and the home and I have to remind her that I’ve said it multiple times through the years. It’s like she wants me to completely break. I keep telling myself I’m going to get through this, but I don’t feel very encouraged right now. My executive dysfunction just gets worse and worse because I just can’t handle it and also don’t have the energy to look into the help I’ve asked my aunt to get for him and I just feel at a loss.
What do You owe them? Your entire life and happiness? There are cleaning services that do that for a nominal fee. You can hire a cleaning service, a food delivery service, door dash and a full time RN nurse for less per month than a nursing home.
I worked at a place for 10 years after graduating highschool and masked for the whole time. On the surface I seemed fine yet subconsciously I was able to over exceed at the cost of severe burnout. At a certain point around 9 years I began to fall apart and had to establish an escape. I am recovering a little over 10 years later from masking autism and also from cptsd. I experienced conversion disorder which took the form of severe neurological symptoms for about 8 months in 2023. I was someone who was valued for my sacrifices at the expense of my mental health for over a decade and my body, mind and soul payed the price. I can work consistently but at a certain point my threshold is reached and I find myself in burnout again. Take it from someone who disregarded his own health because of being a neurodivergent person in a neruotypical world. Your health matters, and you matter. Don't forget it.
My burnout is what led me to seek an official diagnosis. I’ll be looking for a therapist that works with autism. Until I can get that UA-cam it is! This is so very helpful!!! Thank you so much!
I'm 33. I was diagnosed with SPD 6 days ago. It's taken me 4 smoke breaks to get through the first half of this. I can't tell if it's relief or remorse, but every other sentence is hitting my memories of college with a hammer.
Thank you very much 🙏. I am new to the labels but have lived a very difficult life up to now. Your tips are bang on. I do many of them. I am housebound, on disability since age 38. I wish I had known how to navigate life with my neuro-sensitivities. I’m 51 now. This video is a gift and deeply helpful. Because I can relate to your personal experience, I will explore this new perspective with self-acceptance.
I am so happy to see this content! I'm 40 and I'm just now realizing I'm super autistic. I've been poor and an addict my whole life so I could never afford to get help figuring out what is wrong with me. I'm also a closet trans person because I've been masking all my life from trauma. I feel like I've been confused and exhausted and like I am just a cruel mistake for as long as I can remember. I still don't know what to do with the ruins of my existence, but finally finding tools like this gives me a hope I never had before. So thank you.
@@BB-mt5sbbut if they are there shouldn't be anything wrong with that. To further what you're saying though, gender itself is a spectrum that has been eroded in English-speaking, euro-centric societies that have spent centuries trying to force people into one of two boxes.
Experienced this as soon as high school was over because school was always a routine that was always there and very predictable; it was the same place, the same people and pretty much the same kind of days everyday. This was part of my life for 10 years and then one day it just ended and now I had to go to college. College was a completely unknown and new place, everyone was a stranger, the place was strange, the new subjects was strange and confusing, the buildings and layouts were confusing, the culture around there was completely new and kind of scary. I barely even made it though my first and only year there, it was horrible. So I was burned out pretty much the entirety of my late teens to my mid 20's, completely wasted my primes years and I feel like everything in my life was set bad to square one and I had to start over. I'm doing a little better now though but I don't think I'll ever get back on the same track I had early in my life.
This is the best video I've found so far on autistic burnout. I've been going through an autistic burnout for almost a year now and I feel I'm climbing out of the valley. Its almost unbelievable how your brain and physical function decrease in a burnout. I remember not being able to read a small article on-line because of the severe brain fog. (like my memory buffer wasn't there) What has been key to my recovery is understanding myself better. I've always let my head make the decisions without checking in with my body. Now I'm establishing trust between them. If my body is not up for an activity, i cancel, even though my head wants to do everything and experience everything. I've learned to recognize stress and regulate it through stimming consciously, yoga and meditation. I've also learned how to recognize strong emotions like frustration anger and fear and how to express them so they don't fester inside. I've learned to vouch more for my own needs. I used to always put myself second. Even though a coach and psychologist helped me quite a bit, I'm very enthusiastic about my psychosomatic therapist. There you learn how to work with your body to influence your mind. Its a refreshing perspective I'd recommend. One thing I tried recently which seemed to help quite a bit, is Japanese acupuncture. The therapist noticed how certain ki meridians were low energy and balanced them out. I felt more energetic and clear headed after, like making a small improvement jump. Another thing that wasn't mentioned in the video, is singing. (or humming) When we are in burnout, our nervous system is deregulated. Singing actually stimulates the part of the nervous system which calms you down. So i'd definitely suggest trying it out! Time for karaoke 🎤🎶
I had a major burn out period I my life when i was 9~12 years where I constanly felt horrible and suicidal at some points, long history short I dont remenber most of of that time, but knowing more about what ails me makes me very happy
Thank you for this video. I am just starting to learn and accept this. Been hitting a wall every 3 or four years all of my life and it last longer and hits me harder each time.
I'm not diagnosed autistic (yet), but this would explain a lot to. I was really stressed the last two months. High work load, many colleagues needed something from me, family meeting, etc. And I was always "picky" with food. Like if my food doesn't have the right consistency, I feel disgusted eating it. And that got worse in these two months. More and more food that I just wasn't able to eat anymore. It got so bad, that I almost stopped eating at all. Only eating like once a day and than always the same few things. I withdrew from my friends, my family and since last week even from my coworkers (luckily my boss was ok with me saying "I need to focus on XYZ, I won't respond or read anything"). And it helps, I do a lot of puzzles, which always helped to calm me down, and slowly more food is "ok" again.
I wish I could've watched this last year. I burnt-out so bad I nearly died from stress and a UTI that wouldn't go away. Same thing with gastro problems and being overstimulated all the time. I'm better now, thankfully, and have dropped everything. Even moved out of the situation I was in and am finally getting help. This really explained everything I went through. I'm really trying to not let people make me feel guilty for not working or just resting. I didn't know how run down I was until I just stopped everything. Hoping to start working pretty soon but I'm definitely not pushing myself to the brink like I did before.
For years and years prior to coming to the Idea that I'm autistic Ive believed that 3/4 of humans problems come from nature deficiency syndrome. Just turned 57 can't get a diagnosis in Spain one no-one seems to be sufficiently informed and because I am able to mask or frequently hide when I can't mask, I would be considered high functioning, I'm apparently not worth giving or getting a diagnosis because I'm not worth it or worthy enough of taking the time and my own personal opinion doe not count because who am I or who do I think I am to be able of suggesting a diagnosis of myself, despite being a natural health care professional myself, im thinking of because a Quaker so i can whole heartedly embrace being calling a quaquera quack quack... Beats being a turkey... Thank you Dr for speaking out...❤
Awesome thank you! I have been in reocurring burnout for the last 5 years at least, to the point that when I try to speak at times now just nonsense comes out. While co-regulating with my neurodivergent kids, we often use cold (splash cold water on the face, ice pack on the neck etc), because it activates the vagus nerve. So I will add starting the day with a cold shower to my routine as well the other tips you mentioned! Thank you
Adrenal insufficiency the emotional lift was so intense and without an ASD diagnosis my adrenal glands are on strike. Now that I know that I have autism, I'm starting to feel better after 3 years of being cooped up at home without being able to go outside because of the dizziness, the noise, the sun, the impossible conversations with the others, the asthenia (yes, I fell asleep on the floor of my endocrinologist's waiting room). I'm happy to have been able to put my finger on what I am, thanks to people like you.
I have been through this burnout process way too often and it has been really really bat at times. Eating a lot more animal products has been one of the best deep recovery moves i have made yet
"Pet it. Hug it. Love it. Call it George." 😊😁😅😂🤣😜🥰 Oh my, thank you! The content you provide is playing a large role in this discovery phase of my life. I can't thank you enough. AND I LOVE your humor! It provides me with a mini escape from my concentration on information intake, and it reminds me to relax. 🌼✨️💛
I know this video is a year old, but I have just discovered it for the first time and - while I think what you've said is accurate and aligns well with many of my own experiences - I have a difficult and very personal question about this subject and I don't know what to do. I'm over 40 now and only in the last ~year or so discovered that I have traits / background stories that would likely have me diagnosed as autistic if I ever went that route. Unfortunately what led me to this discovery was the burnout. I have been able to operate / function in society at a relatively high level, with gradually increasing issues and deficiencies, until the last couple of years. I always had social difficulties but have been extremely 'gifted' (arts, technology) in key areas that allowed me to overcome hurdles that many cannot. I got married (to a woman who turns out to also be autistic) nearly 20 years ago, have been through over 15 years of continuous research and expenditure hell because of my wife's long-standing gastro issues - which nearly killed her years ago - but we overcame a great deal, survived the medical system, had three children, and sacrificed an incredible amount to move to the middle of nowhere during an economic crash and help plant a church and community. My wife homeschools our children, I have worked (until recently) anywhere from three to five simultaneous part-time gigs to make ends meet, and before either of us realized that we would be classified as 'autistic' and that (as a result of these traits) we would hit certain inevitable stress and social walls, we got deeply embedded in these processes, in building an institution, and taking on a ton of responsibilities and challenges. In the last couple of years or so we both began to hit these walls - myself especially after close to 20 years with basically no breaks from work, no vacations, and lots of sleep deprivation - and started wondering what was happening to us. To shorten a very long story, we have now gotten rid of as many responsibilities / roles as we could (I have also stepped down from every leadership position I had) but we still have a house to maintain, a family of five to feed, children to homeschool, etc. on a single income in an increasingly inflationary environment where, if my wife doesn't get high-quality foods pretty regularly, her health will rapidly decline. I have a relatively high-paying gig right now as a full-time software developer - the first gig I've ever gotten at this pay bracket, just a few years ago - but the burnout I began to go through over a year ago after a multitude of simultaneous demands from work, family, and the church recently resulted in a 'snap' which has left me, on some days, almost unable to code anymore. Literally unable to make my mind focus for more than a few minutes at a time. My hope is that someone with more life experience, if not the author of this video, will happen to read this story and have some kind of ideas about how I might proceed and at least partly recover without potentially losing my prior skill sets permanently. I can't afford to stop working and the jobs in my sector just became much harder to obtain in the last few months. My boss is very understanding but we are a small outfit and they can't afford to give me any kind of extended (paid) leave. (They have already fired a few people they didn't want to fire just to stay financially viable during this downturn, they were all good programmers, and after months some still haven't been re-hired anywhere else.) Due to additional stressors and needs at work after letting those people go, I haven't taken more than one day off in over six months. I realize this comment may just meet with 'dead air' but I'm leaving it out here anyhow because I don't have many people to talk to in-person who understand, even in the community we've helped to build for over a decade here. Most don't get it, are skeptical of what we're saying (if I try to talk about autism), and many are upset that we aren't contributing to things the way we used to and are finding other things to blame, but not offering any solutions. I recognize that there may not be any. Thanks for reading.
It sounds like your community has turned their back on you when you need help. Isnt that a large purpose in building a community like that in the first place? So that when someone needs help, the community has their back? I can tell you from my own similar experience, that it takes a lot to recover. If you can't get some down time to recover, you will start experiencing health issues, if you haven't already. It may not be something you want to do, but is it possible to get on some kind of public assistance? Is it time to change jobs? Any solution is probably going to be an extreme one. I wish I could give you more solutions but I haven't found any good ones myself. Until autism becomes better understood and recognized, we dont have many options open to us. Look into a man named George Mueller. He is inspirational and may give you some hope.
@@ThatWeirdLady2519 Thank you for the reply. I am familiar with George Mueller, actually. The whole community hasn't turned its back on us (just for clarity) - there is just a rift now with a handful of people whom I have been, for better or worse, close to for years. I really only have one 'friend' (apart from my wife) outside that group. As you suggest, I can only see 'extreme' possibilities for burnout solutions, and none clearly. At the moment I am just trying to keep myself from making drastic decisions under duress and give our family time to think and pray about what might be possible.
I feel great compassion for your situation. I don't have any solutions as I am just researching for myself. About 15 years ago I went back to school for a program in Electrophysiology technology, It was demanding. I was 50 at the time and have never been diagnosed with ADHD or autism which is not unusual. I had a suspicion that I was ADHD for awhile but until the autism spectrum opened up, I could not get the entire picture of what was going on. Long story short, I burned out near the end of that classwork. I have since found myself unable to focus for sustained periods of time. After a death in my family, I found myself wanting to escape this planet. This led me into spirituality which is not religious based but totally impossible to explain in a short synopsis. I am feeling there is a link between 'autism' and the DNA we have in our bodies that doctors refer to as 'junk DNA' only because they cannot determine what function it serves. I know this does not help you in the present position that you find yourself in and I apologize for thinking in writing with no help. I have not read a whole book in 15 years or more. I am so desperate to be able to focus my brain in one direction for longer than 10 minutes. Everything happens for a reason and nothing that happens on this earthly plane is by mistake. ADHD and Autism are recognized and rampant for a reason. I had to link the burnout to the short focus time, so thank you, I appreciate that bit. Wishing you all the best❤
Take breaks before you need them and be very strict with yourself about boundaries as best as you know how. I suggest having a list of daily “care items”. Minimize the cognitive load as much as possible. Do the absolute minimum amount of work at your job. Tech companies push people too far and they get into addiction crash and burn, high lows relationship patterns. Get a whoop sleep tracker or similar and get 100% quality sleep every single night. Take at least 5 breaks every day for at least 5 min each to ground yourself and do somatic therapy exercises and to reflect on your needs and/or emotions. Learn to let things go to crap sometimes and pick it up when you are more functional. Get good at asking clearly for help and having backup anywhere humanly possible, even if it’s a small gadget, ear plugs, someone to call, etc. No task it too small to outsource because it all adds up. Maintain regular therapy and practice emotional intelligence and sobriety as much as possible to have a healthy internal functioning as to not add any additional stress on your system and to avoid anything outside your “window of tolerance”. Make sure to avoid/fend off triggers such as mold, allergies, infections with intense diligence. Best of luck.
I'm so burnt out I can't barely function. Just to hear all the things we should be doing to help out selves overwhelmed me even more. Good video though helped me figure out a lot about me and my daughter. Thank you. ❤
I've been pretty much in full burn out mode for a very long time. It is exausting and due to life circumstances, can't really get away from a lot of it. And just when I think I'm starting to get right, something happens and I'm back to square one :-( But somethings that have helped limit over the years adding extra things to my ever growing pile of issues. Is things like having a sign on my door that says. 'meditation in progress, whether the door may be open or closed I am NOT here!' and when people ignored it, I let them made it very clear that I was not happy and then chase them off. Also if people come bug me on my day off or week ends and holidays. Different story if family from far away. An issue if they are next door and they could have made the request or see you during the week. Having my down time interrupted in any way, can mess the entire day up and any rest I was hoping to get goes out the window. Especially with the '5 minute visitor'. Saying they only need to speak to you for 5 minutes and 3 hours later they are still there! I've also had people keep asking you to do something and kept telling them no. And they were just not listening listening. They were stressing me out badly with the constant badgering about it. So I would just say yes and then, not not do it or not rock up with what they were wanting or to do something. I've had to do this once or twice. And when they are upset about it asking why I didn't. Tell them strait, I had told them no and they wouldn't listen, so I said yes just to Shut them up as they just wouldn't leave me be. After that, tend to listen more now when I say no. As for work conditions, when every one is out the office I put the radio off. People don't realise how much noise pollution affects you. For me, I even play all my computer games without sound. Allowing me to have fun, without been ground down by sound. If I had to deal with all that noise, I wouldn't in some cases last 5 minutes on somethings. I have a huge issue with high pitched and repetitive sounds and electronic sounds in general. And Stand your ground if people keep insisting you use voice instead of typing. As some games like Secondlife you have the option of both. And those that do have issue with typing there are text to speach apps they can use to talk to you and just copy and paste. People just don't get it. I've purposely not fixed a flaw in a program so people couldn't keep asking to put sound on as it isn't working. Kind of stops them pestering as much. 'games' like Secondlife has been a nice way for me to interact with others and have the flexibility of just disappearing, when I need to. Not be stuck in a room for a couple of hours and you can't leave like in the real world. It cuts out on a lot of the things that get to me with the sensory stuff, And I can be more myself too. also many of the visual clues that people in real life rely on are not there for everyone, so one is also on a more equal footing when interacting. And in my case the typing slows the conversation down allowing me to think things through before answering.
Learning how to compartmentalize all stimuli helps. Assigning values to every noise, color, or shape around you keeps them out of your primary focus. I can stand long periods around others only if I prepare my processing system beforehand; when I cannot keep back the onslaught of data I'm always encountering at my job or out running errands I have to withdraw and collect myself. It isnt even anxiety; it is a complete sense of exhaustion. People drain when youre ND. Finding a rhythm to match and focus on helps a lot as well, especially when doing physical activity. Complex patterns, like trance or goa, make physical activity a state of mind rather than a physical chore and allows one to tune out all dissonant frequencies.
I’m currently heading for burnout. I’m very aware of it and have unconsciously been doing things to slow it down. But I can still feel it coming. My major problem is in trying to be like others too much and trying to make them happy. It’s come at a huge cost. I was late diagnosed last year at 53 and got the diagnosis mainly for others who don’t listen to me or believe me when I tell them the things I struggle with. They still don’t believe me and they probably never wonder why I want nothing more to do with them either. To them, I’m just having a childish tantrum. Trying to educate them about autism is a waste of time. Even watching a video like this is too much effort for them. I’m the minority, so I’m expected to put the extra work in to reach their level. And why am I now crashing?! “Pah! She’ll get over it!”
a smart watch to monitor heart rate ,loops for auditory, fidget toys I use playing cards or something tactile, a collapsible water bottle for hydration & glasses for visual, communication cards for when I am non verbal I was actually born in Everett WA & moved to Australia just as I was finishing Jr High I apricate you and you work for humanity spreading seeds for those who wish to cultivate and nourish to better themselves and others
I just found this You Tube forum and I am so grateful for the helpful tips and advice. I was taking care of my 90 year old neighbor who also was dealing and suffering from dementia and alzheimers. I cared for her for over a year, the last five months everyday. In July I completely pulled out of such responsibilities as she was suspicious, paranoid, argumentative and at times verbally abusive. She was finally placed in a wonderful alzheimer care facility and since then I have struggled with autistic burnout. Right now my main issue is chronic insomnia but I fortunately live near a large park that has miles of forest wilderness trails. I am going to start, I used to hike several times a week, today in hopes that this will "clesnse" me from the toxicity I encountered and perhaps allow me to start getting restorative sleep. Very insightful video and I thank you for your medical advice. ❤
My favorite thing about discovering this channel is feeling less alone seeing everyone else also type essays out in the comments as a response, it makes me feel seen and understood by people i know id have hella respect for And that makes all this feel even better on ny heart ❤️
I dont know how often you read your comment's but thank you for the work you do into autism. Even with mild autism i love to kearn about myself and others like me.
You have described what I am going through exactly to a tee! I am glad to know that everything I'm going through is indeed autistic burnout. I've been dealing with my family telling me I'm lying about being autistic (when I found out when I got my ADHD diagnosis) and calling me a narcissist after trying to explain what's been going on to me to the best of my ability. I lost my job due to my autism. They said I couldn't change my behaviors. Sad story. I didn't report them to the labor board within the time limit either. So, I'm unemployed, in burnout, with only the support of 4 close friends, and no therapy, nor an official ASD assessment (still waiting on the appointment). I have only so much money saved up, EI will give me some, and hopefully I'll get assessed before I run out of money and I can apply for disability within Canada. Because I don't think I can go back to work in a neurotypical environment. It is too hard to mask now. 😥
A small step water therapy I do at work is wash my hands with a sink that punps a lot of water out but doesnt torrent it out forcefully so it running over and pooling around the hands and fingers as i rest my hands on the sink bottom is incredibly relaxing
I got diagnosed with autism last year at 65. I am burned out. Since last November. Since January, when my husband started cancer treatment. Im still exhausted. It been 11 months. I can't seems to get better. I started seeing a therapist. It has helped emotionally, but not with the exhaustion.
Thank you so much for making this video! It was exactly what I needed to hear right now. Much love to anyone reading who is also struggling, now that you are not alone. And that with proper care this autistic meltdown will fade away ❤
This was really quite incredible to watch. Burnout is something I wasn't really aware happened different for ND folk, and it explains a lot on some of the more negative parts in my life in the past 4 years or so. Thank you for the advice - I really think this will help :)
I am not ASD as far as I am aware, but I do have pretty severe ADHD. I'm stuck at a soul-sucking job right now and over the last year I've started to feel symptoms that creep into territory usually covered by autistic burnout. When you don't have words or explanations to put with these symptoms as I originally didn't, it can be terrifying. I have depression and have always navigated those feelings, but was is different. I found myself physically unable to show up to work on time, cunable to feel rested even after 12 hours of sleep, not only disinterested in things that I enjoy but unable to do them, straining relationships with my family due to avoidance to try and manage my stress, chronic pain, daily fantasies while driving to work of just not getting off at that exit (i even did it once), falling asleep while driving, going days without appetite, and (the scariest one for me) often unable to speak in complete sentences or hold basic conversations. I really was beginning to think I was dying or something. But don't worry. Quitting my job soon and working to recover 💪
My diagnosis was at 60 yrs old, last year. Since then, I have meltdowns every weekend. I am at the homestead all day, have responsibilities. There’s only my husband, other family members don’t care. I do have a Service Dog that helps me with Panic Disorder, I was diagnosed with 5 yrs ago. I have a psychologist that tends to expect me to exhibit specific patterns, not part of how I function.
Thank God for you for calling out the school system’s idiotic trend of starting high school classes at 8 (for me it was much earlier) which completely flies in the face of developmental neuroscience. It’s time to acknowledge the truth: Schools are daycare centers, and the only reason they start at 8 is to give the parents an hour to drop their kids off and then get to work on time at 9. The school system accommodates everyone but the people it supposedly serves.
I really wish it was as simple as "leave those people". Too disabled to work, I had to live with my mother for 2 years with my child. I was so stuck in burnout. I've now moved, but I still can't get the accommodations I need. Identifying them is a great first step, but having them met mostly depends on if you can pay for them. I moved to the countryside to get peace, quiet and nature, but it costs a lot and now getting my child to kindergarten that's far away takes most of my energy. Otherwise, a lot of good and concrete tips I will try to implement.
One thing that I think people aren't talking about enough is that corporations and our current economic structure isn't made to accommodate neurodivergent people at all and is too rigid in many ways such as work and such. And this negatively affects neurotypical people as well. As others said in the comments, we are meant to be connected to nature much more than our modern lives allow. Like, to afford rent I have to drive for Uber much more than my body and mind can handle, but if I don't I can't afford rent. What we need is a restructured economy that is centered around providing for everyone and not funneling wealth and resources to the control of just a few people. Greedy corporations and billionaires are literally squeezing the life out of us. And these things disproportionately affect minorities, exacerbating these health issues. No amount of self management can combat this, and its going to take communities coming together and sharing a producing resources locally again to provide for people.
When you linked gastrointestinal issues to autistic burnout, so many things clicked in my head. I'm watching this on break at work and have been looking into a career change for a while, but I'm good at what I do, and I don't hate it, I just hate the people that tend to populate my profession.
The hardest part for me is asking for accommodation/understanding after “masking” for so long. Because I’ve operated that way and people are accustomed to it, they don’t believe how much effort goes into what they see as basic activities, or I actually need more time away from them and have sensory sensitivity. I tried so hard to become someone who doesn’t get noticed for “all the wrong reasons” or looked at funny, someone who garners respect in social groups and work, and it’s scary to lose that confidence. So many people simply don’t believe me when I speak honestly, and so I say and do what I know is safe to say and do. Then again, that thinking is what led to a horrendous burnout that has been going on for years, now. Figuring out how to find more sustainable boundaries is a big challenge.
This video is honestly super helpful and eye-opening. There are certain things that im not sure I can do such as a change of scenery and such because I am a teenager and I live with my parents. Another thing is that I truly believe I am autistic or maybe have adhd because I have almost all of the symptoms and triats of being autistic, but I'm not diagnosed. I've talked with my parents about getting a diagnostic but it still hasn't happened yet. I feel like my needs are being pushed away and ignored. I think my mom was working on trying to set something up with someone but I don't think its going to happen. I recently went to the doctor for my annual checkup and my mom informed my doctor that I believed I was autistic(she never talked with me or told me she was going to do this before hand btw) and when the doctor asked why I thought this I blanked. The doctor then proceeded to say they "didn't think I was autistic" because I had facial expressions such as smiling and that I could have a conversation. This honestly really upset me because to me, those things that I was doing(smiling and and a conversation) felt like it could be masking. And I would consider myself to be very good at masking(even though I know I'm not technically diagnosed). After this my mom never proceeded with getting me diagnosed so I'm still quite upset. I clicked on this video because I know that I have been extremely burnt out and I didn't know how to recover. I think before I'm even able to recover I need to at least know that I am autistic and be diagnosed. I've talked to my parents multiple times but I'm still not sure I'm ever going to be diagnosed while still being a minor and living with my parents. And I really don't want to wait untill I'm an adult to be diagnosed because I'm having this issue with burnout RIGHT NOW and I just don't know how much longer I can just sit here wait and suffer.
I had what i thought to be an autistic burn out back in november. I felt like i was just dumber, got memory losses, hypersensitivity issues... I had achings in my muscles, cramps, digestion problems, and more generally, I felt like I just couldn't restore my social, my "masking" energy. I started the day, and immediately felt exhausted as if I just finished a hard day. I was a danger on the road because I just couldn't give any more attention. God bless the assisted cars we have now. My meltdowns were really frequent, I could have two or three successive meltdowns, and was more often than before nonverbal. Basically, this started in June when I had to move to another city for work. This and the fact that I would have to be separated from my girlfriend, who couldn't follow me. And there are times where I still feel like this. Days that get better, and then for a week i just go back in this situation. I will try to follow these steps, thanks for your video.
PLEASE SHARE WHAT WE SHOULD DO WHEN SLAMMED WITH A DEPRESSION ATTACK & EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT UN-LIFEY, YOU SUDDENLY BECOME VERY UN-LIFEY. it's scary 😢 Thanks for your content.
Also, as a late-diagnosed person (at 39!) the tip about trip-planning kind of cracked me up, because I have ALWAYS done that...and always found it odd that most people don't! Because why the heck would you want to risk just wandering around and getting hungry and grumpy if you could have an itinerary with all potential activities and restaurants? And I've always found it hard to explain to people that this doesn't mean my plans are rigid - I change them all the time, but it is that list of options that ALLOWS me to change them on the fly! Escape planning is also something I had to figure out before being diagnosed, because particularly for late-night social things...if I don't have the option to leave as soon as I get that "OK, I'm DONE" feeling, I will probably have an embarrassing crying meltdown (especially if I've had more than one drink, which seems to heighten the "immediacy" of everything, so I try not to do THAT either). This actually happened at the bachelorette party of one of my best friends. Fortunately, several of the other ladies were also wanting to go home but didn't want to be the "wet blanket" who said so, so it didn't have any lasting negative outcomes. After that point, I found myself trying to arrange to have my own transport arranged so I wasn't stuck if whoever drove me didn't want to leave yet!
I thought exactly the same thing. I plan everything and call it “covering every eventuality”. I’ve always done it too. The boot of my car has lots of things in it for going out and I get criticised for it. But when something happens or there’s a change, I’m prepared. It just makes sense to me and I don’t understand why other people don’t do it. I really need to do the whole escape planning thing for family gatherings. I’m often sat there trying to stay calm and not be sick when I’m engulfed in perfume and we’re all squashed in and shouting over each other.
The big light bulb just turned on when you advised us what to do when leaving a gathering. Wow! Once again, the undiagnosed me just thought I was weird.
I found this video after having a meltdown a couple days ago. I’ve been trying to understand my brain more and I’d never heard of this before and I can’t believe how perfectly it fits what I went through
Unfortunately, in my experience, I have found that most employers I have had will not give Autism accommodations if you are "high functioning. "
THIS!!! This is exactly one of the areas I aim to make a difference. Thank you for your confirmation.
@@NeurodivergentDoctor I am so grateful for your efforts. I also do everything I can to Advocate. It's a tough road. We need to band together.
I HATE this
The brains plastic.though?
This is another reason functioning labels are crap.
I have been in burnout and major depression for 5 years now. I'm finally starting to recover, wish me luck!
Me too! Good luck & best wishes ❤
@@suzee_bee good luck to you as well :) 4 months later, I am making small, but good progress
Good luck to you!
Good luck to us all!
🕊️
Good luck! I've been free from my depression for 5 years now. My last one also lasted for years.
When I had a long term burnout at 22, my mom told me to stop acting "severely" autistic. Just another reason not to use functioning labels.
Functioning labels are fine your mom is just wrong. That was insanely rude of her. Tell her to stop being so uneducated, uncaring and NT?
@@Technicolor-motherMaybe move out of your mother's place?
@@doodlebob3758 In the current climate of the world economically and also within the position of someone literally disabled as high functioning autism often can be it isn't as easy as just "move out". Even if it were moving out is incredibly stressful for everyone involved regardless of disability / disorder and might not be an easy choice to make especially if you have a good relationship with those you already live with or even more so if they are your main line to human contact as a lot of autistic people can be isolationist and might not receive human touch like hugs and stuff without family being there with them. Furthermore these people might still be considered "carers" within the eyes of the government due to the individuals disability which makes moving out even harder as usually more is involved in the separation of the carer role legally.
@@kiraaofthedust8123 the "carers" thing doesnt pertain to autistic people, just anyone taking care of a sickly relative. I get the whole human touch thing, but suck it up. You're autistic, but that shouldnt stop you from being an independant functioning member of society. You have to find your niche in this unautistic society. Trust me, it's possible. Dont be a loser.
@@doodlebob3758 I understand that but as someone who has a carer despite being an adult i'm also taking my bachelors currently it isn't like I can't function in a large majority of the society I live in it is just that some things that afflict me are things that require a carer. Though I might be an extreme case according to my psychiatrist so take it with a grain of salt I suppose. At the end of the day everyone wants to be independent and useful in this world i'm sure even losers want to be something rather than nothing :)
You also have to take into account the fact that we are constantly and incessantly being bomarded and neurologically assaulted by sensory overload and many us find it impossible to ever get real rest. So we never have neurological rest and recovery. And we are socially abused and bullied all the time which doesn't help.
I totally agree with you!!! Thank you for saying that.
You put my thoughts into words!
@@relentlessrhythm2774 ❤️
@@NeurodivergentDoctor 💚
Thank you for saying that
You said what im trying to express for years but i cant seem to speak politically correct so i upset the narrative even more
I used to have a secret time-out event every week, lunch at 2.45 pm at Chillis every Thursday. I never told anyone where I was going, not even my wife. I always ordered soft tacos with guacamole and fries and a large iced tea, the waitresses knew that, so they would place the order as soon as I arrived at the door, so I always gave them a good tip. It was ME time. The only such time I got, as I was in demand at work or home all the rest of the week. Did I deserve this luxury? Who knows. Well, it kept me sane. It was like a pressure relief valve. A predictable routine, and therefore a release from stress, as that predictability meant no surprises to have to contend with, and surprises for autistic people can be darn tedious to cope with. I got enough of those the rest of the week, doing IT support.
Great practice
❤️
Rest is not deserved, it is needed.
Did you deserve this luxury? I can't believe there aren't 1000 replies to this question, all proclaiming YES!
Yes, absolutely you deserve this period of separation from stresses, as much as you deserve sleep. Also, all the people around you benefit from it as well - your decisions to support your best functioning will also secondarily benefit all those in your community. That's how we work. I'm glad you were in touch with yourself to give this to yourself.
That is very sweet. It’s amazing to me people actually have reliable routines that work for them.
I am so glad you don’t play background music
🙏🏼
There is background music: the nature sounds.
THANK YOU
HOLY SHIT I am NOT used to the amount of RESPECT GIVEN to me!!! This guy is the best!!!!
Love this
You mean, someone is taking it seriously when you say something is a problem instead of discounting it and abusing you for having difficulty? Which only deepens the problem, accelerating the burnout.
I've seen several videos by him, and so far, almost every single one has had me in tears because FINALLY someone was expressing what I couldn't.
I like it too. I recently went into meltdown, and started taking 5 min 3x a week to sit/stand (comfortable) alone, and sort of meditate (if I have an errant thought I forgive myself, and let it go), but I think or look at a problem or my life as a whole, no expectations, no judgements, and I think okay, there it all is, what will make more comfortable/happy. It often goes more than 5 min, but no stress I can always commit to 5 min. Anyway, I now think I've been living a life of managed self expectations..
Everyone should take more time out to clear the head and pay attention to your deepest needs, they're often the quietest I suspect, they are for me. Peace, Brahman.
@@joe8663 couldnt relate more to this
my experience with Autistic burnout is an amplified depression and apathy. I am there now. My dog passed away 2 months ago and that broke my heart even more.
I’m so sorry
i feel you, it is a deep dark place. 💌
@@play-fool "Deep Dark Place" sounds like a song title. That song could be about depression and burnout. I am already writing a song about sensory overload called "Noir Reservoir".
@@BW9971i will subscribe to you, and hope i can hear it one day. thats the funny, ironic thing, though, I think: the dark should be empty, but it isnt. the dark is saturated, rich in its own way, just with things you would never ask for. its the perfect feeling/place to write a song about, theres so much to explore of whats never seen!
I remember when our last family dog died. Up to the day she passed, I would have sworn I didn't even particularly like that mutt. But I was blindsided by how much I missed her presence after the fact! I must have mourned that dog for a year.
I think I've been having burnouts for decades but unaware what is was... Every 6/8 months I'll have a shutdown where I'll pull the blinds down and stay in bed for 3 whole days.. After which I'll get up, shower change my bedding and carry on facing my world!
You said the word I've been searching for.. "RESET" that's what I was unconsciously doing all these years!
I started feeling better when I stopped feeling ashamed for spending time with my special interest.
Yes, going outside, regular showers and doing sports is good too, but they all require a lot of energy.
engaging brain in something it wants to be challenged in was much easier. to research, create, write...that was a good way to not only get easy-produceable happiness-feels in my brain, but also to prove myself that I am not stupid. from there is was much easier to work in other areas.
That avatar XD
Yes! I didn't even have the energy to read, so audio books have kept me sane lately
you made me think about my years of journalist, and I loved that profession because of that. When it got repetitive, boring, and a job... lost interest and changed to work with the plants I was writing about... C4nmbs.
You're so right!! I'm on my way to stop being ashamed of my very loving special interest:) something that makes me hella happy.
Just realized this. I really like researching about theology and history. Just being alone and learning. Hard to find people with the same interests as me so I’m going to start a UA-cam channel. I want to invest in myself. That’s what I like to do in my free time. Learn and teach.
Just had a burn out. Been 2 weeks. Finally feeling better. Trying to figure out when to notice a burn out. It can be so hard to tell. Thank you for the signs.
If you are turning to this for help with a side of ADHD skip to 8:57 or 11:10 if you’re in a burnout. Great information
Thank you! 😊
Much appreciated, thank you!
I have found that quitting your job and finding another one can get you out of a slump, may be extream but if you are in a good position financially it can be a game changing move
Getting a job is about having a commercially viable personality. If they detect a hint of trauma or abnormality, you don't get the job. Getting a job for me, is a fucking job.
Then I have the stress of starting a new job, regret because I left a good boss and then I was lost for a year in the world and went back to the original job and back in same spot mentally.
I move jobs every three years. It’s the only way to avoid getting too burned out
@MichelleHell I have found that the most important mask I ever built was that of Willing Sincere Pleasant Competent Job Seeker. I would put that one on and go off to find a new job. You are so right about finding a job being a job!!
Oh for love… this good doctor put CITATIONS in the transcript. This is creative genius and compassionate to folks diligently trying to solve desperate circumstances with demonstrable evidence
That explains a lot of why I had a constant amount of severe migraines during my early childhood.
Yup
This is one of the best videos I've found on autistic burn out. You covered a lot of things other people leave out. On the water thing, I'd like to add, that ideal water temp depends on the person. I've had arthritis since I was little, so the cold water suggestions made me cringe. Warm or hot water works better for me, because cold water hurts, but I love being near oceans, rivers, or any natural body of water. It balances the soul. I live near a river now.
Interesting my arthritis flairs with hot water I need to shower in lukewarm to cool water. Fascinating
@@unboundbytiffany That is interesting, too. I guess We are all unique, and finding out what works for us as individuals is the best thing. 🔑😊
I’ve always found water a mood lever but since my diagnosis last year I’m using it more and more! Noticed significant downsides when I miss my now weekly swims
I almost always shower in cool water. I also live near a creek but unfortunately it often goes dry... like what this world has done to my soul.
I've been burned out for a while now. Can't seem to get out of it. I feel dumb as hell, exhausted all the time, zero motivation, and even have trouble thinking of even the simplest things.
Best video on the subject. I wish it helped me though.
@@nst6563 I'm sorry you're going through that. It's how I felt. I was completely useless. I couldn't think or DO anything. It does get better, though.
Yeah when I got stressed at work I would fantasize about jumping off the roof. I never came close in afterwards I did feel like I was being dramatic, but it is nice to hear that it wasn't just me.
Thankfully I don't get to that point anymore, but although I am normally a happy optimistic person, when something goes wrong I can immediately get to a helpless hopeless state, so fast it's unbelievable
I was in highschool, fantasies of jumping off the grain elevator roof in a nearby rural town. Big problem: how do I access the interior stairs in that structure. Nearest thing to a skyscraper anywhere around, 3 1/2 stories.
Whats hard is when you know your autistic but don’t realize it until your an adult and now it feels like just seeking a diagnosis is impossible let alone getting help! And it’s so hard for my literal brain to accept my autism without an official diagnosis. Even though my trauma counselor has noted my neurological differences and said she can see my autism she is just not licensed to make any diagnosis which I know that. It makes having autism so much harder when the medical world makes it so hard for adults that fell through the cracks as kids because they over looked girls with autism and even if they found both autism and ADHD they would only diagnose ADHD, that is what happened to me. Now we are going through the diagnosis process with my daughter and it is still a struggle just to get the diagnosis. Like I’m sorry I’m not having fun over here, having autism is a daily struggle why do they make the diagnosis so difficult to obtain especially when they say earlier intervention is key?😭
When you present a child to a physician they will see if the child is autistic very fast... if your physicians don't think your girl is far on the spectrum then you can trust them tbh. You want to protect her and help her bc you were not diagnosed - but you probably also weren't shown to a physician with that notion... so it might be that you see yourself mirrored in her and think she has autism or tendencies towards that... which she might not have... having a diagnosis can be very good for children who have issues but actually detrimental for kids who don't have a developmental disorder - which autism is... i don't know the symptoms of your daughter and so i can't say much about that... but you have to validate your own feelings about your disorder before yourself, so you can see her objectively.
Much love to you and your kid!
By the time my daughter's diagnosis was over, I was so burnt out I could barely function. And I thought I would try to get my own diagnosis after she got hers. But I don't think I can handle going through that whole process all over, again for myself. Plus, there's really no help for us anyway. It is frustrating.
@@AdelaideAndLulu you are so right it is so frustrating and overwhelming. And for adults, it feels nearly impossible to get a diagnosis. Just because the psych community didn't fully understand autism as a spectrum when we were younger (let alone that girls and women present differently in some regards) we can have autism too. Then we are left to struggle on our own. And you are right even if we were to get a diagnosis in adulthood there is no help for us. It's not like people grow out of being autistic and if we couldn't get the help as children we still need that help. I am hoping to earn my psych degree and specialize in diagnosing adults on the spectrum and looking into getting them in with occupational therapy. However, I'm a ways off from accomplishing that goal. Just hoping I can find a way to help our community to not struggle so much in the diagnosing process.
for your child occupational therapy can be very helpfull, and if she has a form of mutism a logopedic therapeutic intervention could help as well...
as a grown up, you can still try to opt for finding ways to better deal with your struggles... if you go day by day and acknowledge and be happy about the small steps you make for feeling better, you are on a good path....@@AdelaideAndLulu
I know personally how hard getting diagnosed can be. It wasn't until senior year of high school I was tested for it through my school(nice they did so) but because I was a senior, and the results were that I needed more testing, the state decided to let me graduate instead of spending another dime. Took another 13 years to finally have an official diagnoses.
During my last major burnout, I had zero tolerance for being touched by others.
I've never liked being touched by others. Thats why I have a fear of being hospitalized as I age. I refuse invasive testing & most anything with any degree of risk.
My cats would touch me. 😢 And they'd meow so loudly during mealtime. Moving around, weaving in-between my legs. Tails and fur. It was devastating. Thankfully, I like my cat again. And can pet him.
As someone who was raised mormon and had to attend early morning seminary for all 4 years of high school, lol thank you for the shout out. That shit sucked and definitely contributed to the burnout I experienced.
I feel you. I did seminary too. I hated nearly every day of it.
I never made my kiddos go to that. You can do home study if needed.❤
Yes!!! I felt seen when he said zero period (which I had) and seminary before that. 🧟♀️
And I was obsessed with getting good grades, so I would often stay up until 2am studying or doing school work because I had to help my younger siblings with their’s first. And of course, I was undiagnosed, no wonder I’ve always struggled with burn out!!!
@VanessaAsay that's terrible, I'm so sorry your parents put you in that position! ❤
Utah was nuts to spend time in. The LDS organization would own a building on public school property there to give religious instruction. I was so confused, like ummm we're in America guys don't know if y'all heard of separation of church and state? SLC should really just be its own country for the organization like the Vatican is for Catholics.
It's encouraging to see a doctor who is autistic himself so passionately advocating for the support of his patients and other autistic individuals. This contributes to raising awareness about the needs and strengths of people within the autistic spectrum and improving their quality of life. In my opinion, the advice provided here is highly relevant and can offer valuable assistance to many autistic individuals and their families. Emphasizing self-acceptance and self-care is a central theme that can help many autistic people better navigate the challenges of daily life. It's important to recognize that excessive sensory overload can affect anyone, and the self-preservation advice mentioned here is meaningful for all individuals.
Acknowledging autism as a constitutive difference rather than a deficit is perhaps the most crucial message that can help reduce prejudices and misunderstandings and make life easier for autistic individuals.❤
My safe space is my workshop and a full bath, lying up to neck deep, for at least an hour. I have to be so so hot to have cold showers. I like warm/hot baths, especially during cold snaps. I always used to think it was perhaps related to the safety of the womb. I think I’m right, considering I lost my mom 34 years ago at age 19. At 53 now, I miss my mom more than ever.
This! I used to have an hour-long soak at least once a month, it really did help me to reset. I would have a really soft background track to listen to, sometimes I would burn a candle... Now I live in a place where I have a shower only... Will take a while before I will be able to move to a different place.
Burn out souds a lot like what I keep being told is manifestations of depression. I really appreciate you and your videos.
I was told it was depression too. I have had anxiety, even loss of speech, but I never felt "depressed."
And an antidepressant almost killed me, because, as I tried to warn my psychiatrist, I react directly to all kinds of substances.
Now my physical health is greatly compromised, which can be depressing at times.
For me, trying to push through the burnout can trigger actual depression
I hate this. It's either masking to the point of breakdown or being infatilized and losing your autonomy. I won't pretend I'm not resentful to the world about being treated like this.
After years of struggle, combined with experiences that left me with PTSD, I burned out after trying to go to college in my early thirties. I have lived for the last twenty years unable to understand why I was so stuck and unable to cope. Then my brother's kids all got an autism diagnosis, which led to me getting assessed. I'm autistic, but only learned that at the age of 56, last year. I might also have ADHD as well.
Because I didn't understand autistic burnout I spent so much time being angry with myself. Why, when there are certain things I can do so well, could I not have a productive life like my friends. I spent all these years hiding how unwell I was from everyone, my family especially.
This list of strategies has been so helpful. Some things I've been discovering myself. My cat just died, after 17 years. I didn't realise how much I relied on him to regulate me until he was gone. Suddenly I have a much greater need to stim, with some things like vocal stimming increasing so much more than before.
I'm happy to have found your channel.
Same here... I'm 59 female.. and strongly believe I have many autistic traits and adhd.. Both adult sons and one daughter diagnosed as adults.. One niece is suss and 4 nephews have asd to varying degrees and three of their boys have autism/add so looks like a very high likelihood... But I feel somewhat embarrassed to ask my Dr about myself at this age!
You I can relate to 🎉 I'm 61 when my shrink tells me I'm autistic. Aha.. The thing with going to college I've done several times. I managed to get two degrees but found each time I burned out. I also found I had no use for them. ADHD don't get me started. Thank you mirror. ❤😂
D) All of the Above 😂
The real problem is the way our society functions. I need days to retreat without being afraid of loosing my job. A steady schedule and better pay (without inflation cancelling the gains) would dramatically balance out the time I have to work versus time I have to recoup and to live my purpose.
Great video 👍 Thank you for sharing ✌️
Hey, I just want to mention that severe burn out for neurotypicals can also lead to them being bedridden and is not cured with a Spa day. I think it’s due to the term burn out being used a lot in the wrong context. For a neurotypical to get burnt out means they’re going through months and years of high stress due to personal and work circumstances + personality. There is different phases and if someone has completely worn themselves out they will have to recover for months and years even and have problems with executive functioning.
I just want to make sure that people know that burn out is a very serious condition, also if you’re a neurotypical person.
Had a severe burnout. Took 10 years to regain some resilience. Another 5 to find things that helped my adrenals so I could feel awake more than 3 hrs a day.
That was 30 yrs ago.
Burnout, adrenal fatigue, nervous breakdown.....labels don't really encompass the magnitude of the demise. I sincerely hope that all of you on the verge of pushing past your limits can step back far enough from the edge , give yourselves some grace and space to recover.
I always thought I was just less social an " introvert" but too many boxes are checked.
And I have finally been able to unravel some of the mysteries of my functioning and also the potholes. Suspect AUhd
This is good information, thank you
Or perhaps those people aren't actually neurotypical. We know there are more people with autism than are diagnosed, and many of us don't get diagnosed until later in life.
@@StormTheSquid I just found out about it 3 months ago, and I'm 45, so makes sense to me
Ok thanks 😒
what if i can't get rest? what if my responsibilities can't be put aside because i need to fulfill them to survive no matter how burnt out i am?
Get help
This is my question too. It seems like all the adult ND burnout videos are from people with a decent amount of privilege who aren’t having to beg for income from SSDI or employer disability plans and fight social justice issues with lack of family support or decent laws to protect us. The response below is to get help. Really? Help doesn’t exist. Bootstraps, sink or swim doesn’t work, contributes further to burnout cycle.
@@SideB1984 I posted my story in detail in another comment on this video a few minutes ago, but this is precisely my question. I didn't realize I was autistic. I now have a family of five to support on one income and hit the massive burnout wall in the last year or so. Can't afford to stop most of the stressful things in life / stop working to actually recover, even though my mind is actually kind of 'broken' right now and on some days I can't even get any work done at all no matter how long I sit at the screen and try.
@@asimplenameichose151 sending love and compassion your way. I don’t have children but I sympathize with your situation. I had to leave my career and navigate horrific retaliation and abuse from employer and disability carrier. They say apply for SSDI but then they don’t recognize autistic burnout or chronic fatigue syndrome or really any of my invisible illnesses. Also takes years and isn’t enough income. Don’t give up, mom. You will be ok somehow, someway. 😌🩷
@@turtleanton6539What help? Where from? It's hard to find people who know how to help. What if I can't pay for the support I need?
Saying "get help" seems very dismissive
I burnt out during a relationship with a narcissist. I eventually had a meltdown, and the fallout was grueling. I plant trees, chop wood and swim. it helps
Same. It was like meeting my literary foil.
I had all 12 symptoms and my GP wanted me on anti-depressants but I knew that wasn't what it was. Extra symptom - my brain felt like when you chomp on aluminum when you have metal fillings in your teeth, but it felt like that all the time when trying to use my brain at work. this was a deeper symptom to the brain fog. Magnesium was critical to help with this symptom. Major Autistic Burnout helped me realize I was autistic, but it was seven years ago and was not successful in obtaining help from professionals. thankfully my deep dive obsessions kicked into researching everything related to this.
You have done really well.
Good point, magnesium as well as potassium and salt need to be kept up to hold burnout at bay
@YahvakinHansen-yw5px did it get better for you? If so, what did you do?
My psychiatrist did convince me to try an antidepressant, venlafaxine, even though I told him I react strongly to all kinds of substances. Guess what, not only were the side effects and numb emotions hell, but it also landed me in the cardiac ER with dangerously high blood pressure and a suspected heart attack. Before this medication, which I only took for 36 days, I was physically healthy with normal blood pressure.
After withdrawal, my system was so weakened that I got Long Covid. Spent most of 2022 in bed.
Now my physical health is compromised as a direct result of the wrong treatment.
And there are no accommodations for autism here in Germany. Hopefully my work can change my tasks enough to let me function with reduced capacity. At 50, I am expected to work for 19 more years, as it stands now, before I can retire.
The amount of ignorance around autistic burnout is making us sicker.
So grateful for this video! I wish there were (openly) autistic doctors here.
I have given up on the 'professionals.' They are either behind, unknowledgeable on the topic, unwilling to spend time on researching the root cause, or unwilling to take risks with 'off label' use of medications. And most primary cares know nothing about alternative medicine, or herbs. And never talk about vitamins. Alternative practitioners not covered by insurance. I'm so done. It's time to take our healthcare into our own hands.
Most of these steps are impossible for many of us. We don’t have the support network.
I was thinming that, plus I've been burntout a few times as an adult, I can't physically start most of these tasks he's suggested no matter how much I may want to. Wanted to share this video with my parents until he started giving suggestions, definitely not one to share with NTs.
Thank you! I was thinking exactly this! "have others serve you" LOL, ok...who exactly is going to serve me???
Also many of the suggestions don't necessarily work that well with extreme sensory issues.
I have severe problems with touch, and for example I cannot do the breathing exercises nor yoga. Especially controlling my breathing makes me even more aware of my body and how unbearable that feels, and that causes me to go in this weird, involuntary state where I start self-harming to regulate. Like scratching and pinching myself - at worst I'll bite my arms and hands very hard.
I'm even dumb enough to keep trying, because hey, breathing exercised are always recommended, so maybe I'm just wrong? And then I'll have new sets of alarming bitemarks on my forearms again...
I really wish there'd be more advice available that doesn't focus on becoming more aware of one's body
@@sykomp1760Given that sensory/social overwhelm is what results in burnout, limiting any sensory input that bothers us; bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, uncomfortable temperatures, scratchy clothes, and so on; would logically be helpful. Also, reducing social interactions, especially any we find annoying and draining. Then, stimming, such as rocking, swinging, bouncing/jumping, using a fidget toy like a stress ball or a spinner, or using weighted aids, like vests or blankets. There’s a reason autistic people naturally do these things; they keep us from breaking down or becoming self-destructive! 😮💨
Ok, this temp sensitive gal isn't doing COLD showers, but I'll turn it down a degree or two! Otherwise these are things that I've definitely found helpful when I can MAKE myself do them. 65 years of not knowing about my autism...it's so weird to finally understand these things from this point of view. I remember some burn-outs...and it was the support of even one or two friends who would help by getting me out or just checking in to make sure I was alive, taking me to lunch and it was ok if I didn't talk. Just knowing someone cared in those moments was a huge gift. Anything to break that cycle of poor me. Writing has also helped me a lot...getting it out of me and onto paper. Good video.
Please read about WHM method - cold showers need a very long adaptation time for many people (it took me 2 months instead of normal people's 10 days). It is worth the effort, just make it as painless as possible. No suffering. Breathe. Relax. Accept. 1-2 degrees is good for the beginning and actually face cold splashes work well too! There are some important nerves there close to the ears so you can have a lot of benefits. :)
@@Izabela-ek5nh that is a good approach. Just do what you can just as much as you can and no more. For me splashes are a no-no, it's too stressful. Just like sudden screams in my ear my toddler's been serving me last couple of days... Those caused my recent meltdown and shutdown, so serving myself a similar shocks for other senses than hearing in addition to that is definitely a bad idea :)
I have said this about the school system since I had children. It took forever to find a specialist for my granddaughter who will be 20 yo in a few days. She is high functioning and she believes I am also?! I believe there was so much damage done to her. From grade school on, there was no one to diagnose her. She was just considered a problem and needed to be dealt with by teachers who didn’t know what else to do. She has a large family who adore her but don’t always understand . God bless anyone who goes into this field. You are so desperately needed.❤
I'm traumatized from constant burnout from attending school. Just years of constant stress, masking, and depression. Daily meltdowns. And of course I was never taught about burnout and how to recover.
Thank you for this. I feel like I’ve lived my whole life in burnout except I’m only just now starting to realize it. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome when I was 11 years old. Now I wonder if it was really just continual burnout due to masking and suppressing stims. These videos are very helpful. I want to understand myself so I can take care of myself the way I need to instead of being like a drill sergeant using brute force to push myself through normal everyday life. It’s frustrating to me because I happen to love my life and have goals I’d like to achieve but often times feel imprisoned in my own body because I need so much downtime and some time. Anyway thanks again for these videos. They’re very helpful and also help me to feel not so alone.
You've expressed how I feel very well. I've only recently started to realize that I am likely on the spectrum, and am finding these videos very helpful as well.
@@MySkillfulmeans me too!! Wild that so many of us are having similar experiences right now.
I feel the same way. I’ve spent half my life now feeling exhausted, not wanting to be in the company of other people, with all manner of depression, anger, loss of words (my friends call me the wordsmith because I sometimes end up making combinations of other words to describe what I’m talking about), and I never sleep well.
I’ve expected I was burned out for a long time, but it didn’t fit the symptoms so perfectly. Hearing about autistic burnout sounds shockingly close to what I’ve been feeling for most of my adult life.
You’re not alone, buddy.
Regular cold showers, a couple strength workouts a week, walks in nature and yoga are my strats I've found to keep myself out of burnout. Cool to see you mention all of those, I hope it helps many people so they don't have to find out all of these things for themselves like I had to.
Now the other thing might be controversial, but a little bit of cannabis in the evening helps me calm down and psilocybin microdosing helps me keep anxiety down and navigate social situations better.
Ive been suffering from autistic burnout for years. It all started when i moved from a slower rural area to busy congested New Jersey to ho back to school as a nontraditional student. For 5 years i pushed myself through everything, being constantly stressed and overstimulated, constant changes and untold levels if uncertainty. Before my move, I didn't really think of myself too much as autistic, as it never really affected me much at all. But now, even though i moved back to that slower area, I feel like im forever changed and feel like i can never get back to previous functioning levels. Even though i did surprisingly well in school, I cant even manage to work now because of my continued difficulties and my anxiety. My 5 year burnout changed the course of my life and am uncertain if I'll ever be able to get some semblance of what used to be normal again.
Funny how I have the same thing living in NJ and my current job has given me 5 years of absolute burnout. Just constant meltdowns, stress, and self-imposed isolation. I even took a week's vacation and swore I'd leave on a trip to heal, but all I did was lock myself in my house and sleep the entire week. I don't grocery shop, I pay someone to do it for me. I don't do anything anymore except work and I'm so absolutely terrified of going outside, especially to work, that I just want to quit and never go outside again. I'm either going to hurt someone or myself.
Music is a huge tool for me that helps me connect with my feelings. When I can’t connect with my feelings, I find it hard to process what my needs are.
Burnout is the only reason I finally discovered i am autistic at 29 years old. Thank you for sharing this. Very informative and validating.
Something i feel like is worth mentioning. I've been in burnout for years now. And I dont know when I started doing this, but it's super self destructive and I feel like its something to keep an eye on. You know how you have to force yourself to get through whatever youre doing, the flip the switch moment where is doesn't really matter how awful things are anymore, you're numb but also not really?
I started forcing myself into that headspace, even when it wasn't necessarily and then doing things that activity make me overestimated and then rapidly underestimating. I was straight up torturing myself. Even to the point of smoking wayyy too much weed, way more then what my limits are, just to keep ramping it up.
From asking other autistic people, I took this to the extreme. But i thought it was still worth mentioning. Enjoying overstimulation and meltdowns, kinda a big red flag lol
Yeah, damn. Thanks for describing this I have been getting through the hardest year of my life after becoming houseless and couchsurfing, and definitely in this mindset. I have chronic fatigue, but resisted taking anything but the hardest physical job I could find, that had me biking to work at 6 am and going at breakneck pace for 8 hours, and my coworker calling me lazy. In my head it was to "build discipline" and prove how far I could push myself. Now I finally quit and guess what? Right back to sleeping in, depression and terrified to relax. Discipline doesn't stick when it comes from a place of self punishment but then again that's all I've ever known and whenever I live from my own enjoyment somebody ends up having a problem with me.
I've noticed this too from anybody navigating poverty or impossible circumstances. When my car was stolen, and found, over Christmas, inside we found a long with a bunch of other people's registrations, a 'self-help' or business strategy book about deviant markets & aggressive tactics, evidence of meth, gas station weight loss pills and a journal with frightening images on the cover. It was like a glimpse into the mindset of a person at the bottom of society pushing themselves aggressively to "fix" themselves and crawl back up. Chilling.
I regret to say how many autistic queer friends I have dealing with the fallout of meth addiction. No one does that drug unless they are desperate to chase impossible standards. It's self cruelty. But I understand the place it comes from.
I'm one of those people.
Workaholism and overtraining, constantly being busy, were my ways of "disciplining" myself. I thought if I did more all the time, I'd turn a corner and finally be normal.
I didn't know autistic burnout was a thing, or that my monthly cycle was making it worse, and doing things like overexercising or no carb was pushing my system into even more of an emergency state.
I was diagnosed autistic at age 48. I pursued it, paid for it out of pocket, and still had to justify how someone who is "successful" and "doesn't look autistic " actually is.
The scary thing is that many of the people in my family of origin have or had similar issues, yet are so dissociated or turning to substances, sex, sports, consumption, that they aren't even aware of it.if
Hey me too. Me and my family of autistic peoples, have always used weed as a escape.
I’m 19, my brother isn’t even 17, my dads 40. We’ve all used marijuana the majority of our lives.
I quit my job spontaneously recently…. And my reliance on marijuana is worse than ever. I’m high all day.. I guess mid all day cuz’ you can’t be high all day.
We spend thousands, my dad sells too. It’s just how we live. If we don’t have weed…. We aren’t ourselves
Can’t like that. Wow. Yeah. Almost makes me wonder if you’re also ADHD… common in autistics… and maybe have some hyPOsensitivities where you’re overstimulating yourself to feel something? 😬
Burnout at age 48 eventually led me to figure out I was autistic because my autism was really prominent. It’s been five years now and I’m a little better but still in it. Radical self-acceptance, rest, meditation and leaving an abusive marriage were my strategies.
Some of you people are sadly misinformed and seemingly looking for a diagnosis. Sorry, but you're not as you believe, society is demanding, and simply for the reason that your mind occasionally or regularly struggles to manage the mass overload of information, tasks, and expectations calls into response, indeed reasonable, a series of "self-induced therapeutic" behaviors doesn't quite legitimize actual autism; why wouldn't the mind respond, what often blatantly appears to psychiatric personnel, in withdrawal type of behavior? People should stop blaming themselves and uncritically accepting an ever-widening criteria-diagnostic label because they reportedly fail to fit some kind of golden standard of behavior.
This was extremely helpful to me, I was diagnosed with autism at a young age but wasn’t told I had it till a few years ago, and I had never known that what I had thought were panic attacks, were actually a burnout. I have found your videos have helped me understand my autism and has helped me find ways to live with it better.
❤
I’m curious as to why you weren’t told sooner? And what happened when you were told?
6:53 the way the birds flew out from behind you as you outstretched your hand was cinematic af
Oh thank the lords this video confirms that the feeling of wanting death was normal when burnt out, I thought I had mood swings and the such but no, my brain was just pushing so hard that it couldn’t do it anymore and wanted to be relieved of it.
I remember one day right before start of a new year of college, I was feeling hopeless, trapped, and isolated. I know now it was going to be the start of a burnout, but at the time I had no idea.
Still, intuitively, I already knew what would help me, so I jumped in my car and went to the local park, then went to multiple bookstores and libraries to fuel my special interests. It was a much needed break and I'm lucky to have such a special day to remember if things start spiraling.
And I'm glad to have stumbled across this video, because now I have words for my feedings, and even more tools at my disposal to prevent burnout!
Thank you for this. I'm in burnout atm and it sucks. My monotropism means I need a lot of time to detach & get into a flow state. I'm an Autistic writer with ADHD & I haven't stopped "working" for years. It's exactly 20 years since I had a holiday. I am only alive due to a meditation practice, prayer, dogs, and the sea. I've been othered, bullied, ignored, assaulted, stalked and had multiple random attacks both physically, s
Christ it posted itself before I finished. I know, right? Anyway I'll stop oversharing and just mention I'm writing a book about what the reality of a "high functioning" high masking woman really looks like. I'm on amphetamines for ADHD and was on Lithium when I wrote my memoir about caring for my Mam who had Alzheimer's for 14 years. They thought I was a manic depressive. Under the freedom of Information act in Ireland I applied for my medical and psychiatric notes. It took phone calls letters and 6 weeks but a tome like a coffee table was delivered a month ago. Despite being redacted I read 4 pages then threw it across the kitchen. Endlessly I was explaining that I was overwhelmed, exhausted, distraught and felt like a child who couldn't understand how the world works. The response was to prescribe anti depressants & when they knocked me sideways to double them.
The book is unflinching in its forensic honesty, and captures how an ND person is treated by people AND her own family.
I spent Christmas alone because of my tone of voice.
My friends have disappeared one by one.
I've come to peace with a solitary life and have transformed my living space.
I send best wishes and much love to the Doctor, and all my neurokin who know exactly what I'm saying.😏
🇮🇪✍️📷🔊🎧📽️💚🕷️
#spidersdonteatbiscuits
www.shellshock.ie
I’ve read/listened/watched a ton of other resources in an attempt to get a better handle on burnout and losing skills and this was by far the best and most tangible explanation and “what to do”.Thank you, Dr.! Keep up this amazing and important work!
When I was first diagnosed I remember going to UA-cam and looking at a bunch of videos describing autism. Back then I was pretty young, and there wasn’t quite a lot of attention being paid to treating autism with respect and care (instead there was a lot of British people and Autism Speaks praying for some mythical cure). I wish I had videos like this instead when I was a kid, but I’m glad to see someone is making them now for future autistic people
I’m in Canada and 63, only discovered my autism from my son . Wow, yes. Thank you.
It is genious. Thank you.
I am on the recovery from the serious burnout. I got involved in running the restaurant which became TOO MUCH for me and I found myself escaping and feeling really bad at work and around people. Few times I just run away during the shift because I couldn't stand loud voices and long hours anymore. But what scared me the most is that the world which I usually find very beautiful became flat, gray, scary and hopeless. I didn't want my life to continue this way. I was my own boss so I had to fire myself which I did last january.
Very slowly it is getting better and more days I see some hope and my creativity is slowly coming back.
What is mentioned in this movie are all tactics to recover I am using and THEY WORK but you need some time.
What I would like to add is something I discovered after months: be extremly good and patient with yorself. Don't push and most important: DON'T FEEL GUILTY that you are not well. Rest. A day, a week, half a year. Rest actively, go out in nature, move, breathe, create. Let yourself recover and remember: this is crucial for you to survive.
Thank you for all these movies. ❤
I got my diagnosis last year from Dr. Neely. I'm still struggling to maintain employment even part time. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to participate in society and keep shelter this way.
Work nights? Warehouse. Airport. Mall cop.
Having such a hard time with burnout. I caretake for my grandfather and his house is absolutely disgusting. By the time I clean up his daily mess in the kitchen I’m in full sensory overload but I can’t leave. The repeat of it every day makes it so hard for me to find any semblance of escape. The lack of help from his daughter does not help. She will gaslight me constantly and tell me that I’ve never brought up issues with him and the home and I have to remind her that I’ve said it multiple times through the years. It’s like she wants me to completely break. I keep telling myself I’m going to get through this, but I don’t feel very encouraged right now. My executive dysfunction just gets worse and worse because I just can’t handle it and also don’t have the energy to look into the help I’ve asked my aunt to get for him and I just feel at a loss.
What do You owe them?
Your entire life and happiness?
There are cleaning services that do that for a nominal fee. You can hire a cleaning service, a food delivery service, door dash and a full time RN nurse for less per month than a nursing home.
I worked at a place for 10 years after graduating highschool and masked for the whole time. On the surface I seemed fine yet subconsciously I was able to over exceed at the cost of severe burnout. At a certain point around 9 years I began to fall apart and had to establish an escape. I am recovering a little over 10 years later from masking autism and also from cptsd. I experienced conversion disorder which took the form of severe neurological symptoms for about 8 months in 2023.
I was someone who was valued for my sacrifices at the expense of my mental health for over a decade and my body, mind and soul payed the price. I can work consistently but at a certain point my threshold is reached and I find myself in burnout again.
Take it from someone who disregarded his own health because of being a neurodivergent person in a neruotypical world. Your health matters, and you matter. Don't forget it.
I keep not getting diagnosed with asd, but I have all the symptoms and have had them all my life. This video describes where I am now.
Me too
It honestly kinda feels like I've been in a chronic burnout since I dropped out of university a decade ago....
My burnout is what led me to seek an official diagnosis. I’ll be looking for a therapist that works with autism. Until I can get that UA-cam it is! This is so very helpful!!! Thank you so much!
I'm 33. I was diagnosed with SPD 6 days ago. It's taken me 4 smoke breaks to get through the first half of this. I can't tell if it's relief or remorse, but every other sentence is hitting my memories of college with a hammer.
Glad you stuck with it. Big hug❤
Thank you very much 🙏. I am new to the labels but have lived a very difficult life up to now. Your tips are bang on. I do many of them. I am housebound, on disability since age 38. I wish I had known how to navigate life with my neuro-sensitivities. I’m 51 now. This video is a gift and deeply helpful. Because I can relate to your personal experience, I will explore this new perspective with self-acceptance.
Do you have fybromyalgia
I am so happy to see this content! I'm 40 and I'm just now realizing I'm super autistic. I've been poor and an addict my whole life so I could never afford to get help figuring out what is wrong with me. I'm also a closet trans person because I've been masking all my life from trauma. I feel like I've been confused and exhausted and like I am just a cruel mistake for as long as I can remember. I still don't know what to do with the ruins of my existence, but finally finding tools like this gives me a hope I never had before. So thank you.
Don't let them make you think you're trans/in the wrong body etc... It's all bs! There are simply infinite personalities.
@@BB-mt5sbbut if they are there shouldn't be anything wrong with that. To further what you're saying though, gender itself is a spectrum that has been eroded in English-speaking, euro-centric societies that have spent centuries trying to force people into one of two boxes.
Experienced this as soon as high school was over because school was always a routine that was always there and very predictable; it was the same place, the same people and pretty much the same kind of days everyday. This was part of my life for 10 years and then one day it just ended and now I had to go to college. College was a completely unknown and new place, everyone was a stranger, the place was strange, the new subjects was strange and confusing, the buildings and layouts were confusing, the culture around there was completely new and kind of scary. I barely even made it though my first and only year there, it was horrible.
So I was burned out pretty much the entirety of my late teens to my mid 20's, completely wasted my primes years and I feel like everything in my life was set bad to square one and I had to start over. I'm doing a little better now though but I don't think I'll ever get back on the same track I had early in my life.
This is the best video I've found so far on autistic burnout.
I've been going through an autistic burnout for almost a year now and I feel I'm climbing out of the valley. Its almost unbelievable how your brain and physical function decrease in a burnout. I remember not being able to read a small article on-line because of the severe brain fog. (like my memory buffer wasn't there)
What has been key to my recovery is understanding myself better.
I've always let my head make the decisions without checking in with my body. Now I'm establishing trust between them. If my body is not up for an activity, i cancel, even though my head wants to do everything and experience everything.
I've learned to recognize stress and regulate it through stimming consciously, yoga and meditation. I've also learned how to recognize strong emotions like frustration anger and fear and how to express them so they don't fester inside.
I've learned to vouch more for my own needs. I used to always put myself second.
Even though a coach and psychologist helped me quite a bit, I'm very enthusiastic about my psychosomatic therapist. There you learn how to work with your body to influence your mind. Its a refreshing perspective I'd recommend.
One thing I tried recently which seemed to help quite a bit, is Japanese acupuncture. The therapist noticed how certain ki meridians were low energy and balanced them out. I felt more energetic and clear headed after, like making a small improvement jump.
Another thing that wasn't mentioned in the video, is singing. (or humming) When we are in burnout, our nervous system is deregulated. Singing actually stimulates the part of the nervous system which calms you down. So i'd definitely suggest trying it out! Time for karaoke 🎤🎶
You seem to be saying that typical neurological burnout can be cured with a bit of self-care, but it's so much more complex than that!
I had a major burn out period I my life when i was 9~12 years where I constanly felt horrible and suicidal at some points, long history short I dont remenber most of of that time, but knowing more about what ails me makes me very happy
Thank you for this video. I am just starting to learn and accept this. Been hitting a wall every 3 or four years all of my life and it last longer and hits me harder each time.
I'm not diagnosed autistic (yet), but this would explain a lot to.
I was really stressed the last two months. High work load, many colleagues needed something from me, family meeting, etc.
And I was always "picky" with food. Like if my food doesn't have the right consistency, I feel disgusted eating it.
And that got worse in these two months.
More and more food that I just wasn't able to eat anymore.
It got so bad, that I almost stopped eating at all. Only eating like once a day and than always the same few things.
I withdrew from my friends, my family and since last week even from my coworkers (luckily my boss was ok with me saying "I need to focus on XYZ, I won't respond or read anything").
And it helps, I do a lot of puzzles, which always helped to calm me down, and slowly more food is "ok" again.
I wish I could've watched this last year. I burnt-out so bad I nearly died from stress and a UTI that wouldn't go away. Same thing with gastro problems and being overstimulated all the time.
I'm better now, thankfully, and have dropped everything. Even moved out of the situation I was in and am finally getting help. This really explained everything I went through. I'm really trying to not let people make me feel guilty for not working or just resting. I didn't know how run down I was until I just stopped everything. Hoping to start working pretty soon but I'm definitely not pushing myself to the brink like I did before.
That sounded like hell.
@@ScarryGargoyle yeah I really was the MC moment I didn't want to have 🙃.
For years and years prior to coming to the Idea that I'm autistic Ive believed that 3/4 of humans problems come from nature deficiency syndrome. Just turned 57 can't get a diagnosis in Spain one no-one seems to be sufficiently informed and because I am able to mask or frequently hide when I can't mask, I would be considered high functioning, I'm apparently not worth giving or getting a diagnosis because I'm not worth it or worthy enough of taking the time and my own personal opinion doe not count because who am I or who do I think I am to be able of suggesting a diagnosis of myself, despite being a natural health care professional myself, im thinking of because a Quaker so i can whole heartedly embrace being calling a quaquera quack quack... Beats being a turkey... Thank you Dr for speaking out...❤
Awesome thank you! I have been in reocurring burnout for the last 5 years at least, to the point that when I try to speak at times now just nonsense comes out. While co-regulating with my neurodivergent kids, we often use cold (splash cold water on the face, ice pack on the neck etc), because it activates the vagus nerve. So I will add starting the day with a cold shower to my routine as well the other tips you mentioned! Thank you
Adrenal insufficiency the emotional lift was so intense and without an ASD diagnosis my adrenal glands are on strike. Now that I know that I have autism, I'm starting to feel better after 3 years of being cooped up at home without being able to go outside because of the dizziness, the noise, the sun, the impossible conversations with the others, the asthenia (yes, I fell asleep on the floor of my endocrinologist's waiting room). I'm happy to have been able to put my finger on what I am, thanks to people like you.
I have been through this burnout process way too often and it has been really really bat at times. Eating a lot more animal products has been one of the best deep recovery moves i have made yet
"Pet it. Hug it. Love it. Call it George." 😊😁😅😂🤣😜🥰 Oh my, thank you! The content you provide is playing a large role in this discovery phase of my life. I can't thank you enough. AND I LOVE your humor! It provides me with a mini escape from my concentration on information intake, and it reminds me to relax.
🌼✨️💛
I know this video is a year old, but I have just discovered it for the first time and - while I think what you've said is accurate and aligns well with many of my own experiences - I have a difficult and very personal question about this subject and I don't know what to do.
I'm over 40 now and only in the last ~year or so discovered that I have traits / background stories that would likely have me diagnosed as autistic if I ever went that route. Unfortunately what led me to this discovery was the burnout. I have been able to operate / function in society at a relatively high level, with gradually increasing issues and deficiencies, until the last couple of years. I always had social difficulties but have been extremely 'gifted' (arts, technology) in key areas that allowed me to overcome hurdles that many cannot. I got married (to a woman who turns out to also be autistic) nearly 20 years ago, have been through over 15 years of continuous research and expenditure hell because of my wife's long-standing gastro issues - which nearly killed her years ago - but we overcame a great deal, survived the medical system, had three children, and sacrificed an incredible amount to move to the middle of nowhere during an economic crash and help plant a church and community.
My wife homeschools our children, I have worked (until recently) anywhere from three to five simultaneous part-time gigs to make ends meet, and before either of us realized that we would be classified as 'autistic' and that (as a result of these traits) we would hit certain inevitable stress and social walls, we got deeply embedded in these processes, in building an institution, and taking on a ton of responsibilities and challenges. In the last couple of years or so we both began to hit these walls - myself especially after close to 20 years with basically no breaks from work, no vacations, and lots of sleep deprivation - and started wondering what was happening to us.
To shorten a very long story, we have now gotten rid of as many responsibilities / roles as we could (I have also stepped down from every leadership position I had) but we still have a house to maintain, a family of five to feed, children to homeschool, etc. on a single income in an increasingly inflationary environment where, if my wife doesn't get high-quality foods pretty regularly, her health will rapidly decline. I have a relatively high-paying gig right now as a full-time software developer - the first gig I've ever gotten at this pay bracket, just a few years ago - but the burnout I began to go through over a year ago after a multitude of simultaneous demands from work, family, and the church recently resulted in a 'snap' which has left me, on some days, almost unable to code anymore. Literally unable to make my mind focus for more than a few minutes at a time.
My hope is that someone with more life experience, if not the author of this video, will happen to read this story and have some kind of ideas about how I might proceed and at least partly recover without potentially losing my prior skill sets permanently. I can't afford to stop working and the jobs in my sector just became much harder to obtain in the last few months. My boss is very understanding but we are a small outfit and they can't afford to give me any kind of extended (paid) leave. (They have already fired a few people they didn't want to fire just to stay financially viable during this downturn, they were all good programmers, and after months some still haven't been re-hired anywhere else.) Due to additional stressors and needs at work after letting those people go, I haven't taken more than one day off in over six months.
I realize this comment may just meet with 'dead air' but I'm leaving it out here anyhow because I don't have many people to talk to in-person who understand, even in the community we've helped to build for over a decade here. Most don't get it, are skeptical of what we're saying (if I try to talk about autism), and many are upset that we aren't contributing to things the way we used to and are finding other things to blame, but not offering any solutions. I recognize that there may not be any. Thanks for reading.
It sounds like your community has turned their back on you when you need help. Isnt that a large purpose in building a community like that in the first place? So that when someone needs help, the community has their back?
I can tell you from my own similar experience, that it takes a lot to recover. If you can't get some down time to recover, you will start experiencing health issues, if you haven't already.
It may not be something you want to do, but is it possible to get on some kind of public assistance? Is it time to change jobs?
Any solution is probably going to be an extreme one. I wish I could give you more solutions but I haven't found any good ones myself. Until autism becomes better understood and recognized, we dont have many options open to us.
Look into a man named George Mueller. He is inspirational and may give you some hope.
@@ThatWeirdLady2519 Thank you for the reply. I am familiar with George Mueller, actually.
The whole community hasn't turned its back on us (just for clarity) - there is just a rift now with a handful of people whom I have been, for better or worse, close to for years. I really only have one 'friend' (apart from my wife) outside that group.
As you suggest, I can only see 'extreme' possibilities for burnout solutions, and none clearly. At the moment I am just trying to keep myself from making drastic decisions under duress and give our family time to think and pray about what might be possible.
I feel great compassion for your situation. I don't have any solutions as I am just researching for myself. About 15 years ago I went back to school for a program in Electrophysiology technology, It was demanding. I was 50 at the time and have never been diagnosed with ADHD or autism which is not unusual. I had a suspicion that I was ADHD for awhile but until the autism spectrum opened up, I could not get the entire picture of what was going on. Long story short, I burned out near the end of that classwork. I have since found myself unable to focus for sustained periods of time. After a death in my family, I found myself wanting to escape this planet. This led me into spirituality which is not religious based but totally impossible to explain in a short synopsis. I am feeling there is a link between 'autism' and the DNA we have in our bodies that doctors refer to as 'junk DNA' only because they cannot determine what function it serves. I know this does not help you in the present position that you find yourself in and I apologize for thinking in writing with no help. I have not read a whole book in 15 years or more. I am so desperate to be able to focus my brain in one direction for longer than 10 minutes. Everything happens for a reason and nothing that happens on this earthly plane is by mistake. ADHD and Autism are recognized and rampant for a reason. I had to link the burnout to the short focus time, so thank you, I appreciate that bit. Wishing you all the best❤
@@Karen-yn2uf Thank you - I appreciate your thoughts and experience, and likewise hope and pray for better things for you
Take breaks before you need them and be very strict with yourself about boundaries as best as you know how. I suggest having a list of daily “care items”. Minimize the cognitive load as much as possible. Do the absolute minimum amount of work at your job. Tech companies push people too far and they get into addiction crash and burn, high lows relationship patterns. Get a whoop sleep tracker or similar and get 100% quality sleep every single night. Take at least 5 breaks every day for at least 5 min each to ground yourself and do somatic therapy exercises and to reflect on your needs and/or emotions. Learn to let things go to crap sometimes and pick it up when you are more functional. Get good at asking clearly for help and having backup anywhere humanly possible, even if it’s a small gadget, ear plugs, someone to call, etc. No task it too small to outsource because it all adds up. Maintain regular therapy and practice emotional intelligence and sobriety as much as possible to have a healthy internal functioning as to not add any additional stress on your system and to avoid anything outside your “window of tolerance”. Make sure to avoid/fend off triggers such as mold, allergies, infections with intense diligence. Best of luck.
I'm so burnt out I can't barely function. Just to hear all the things we should be doing to help out selves overwhelmed me even more. Good video though helped me figure out a lot about me and my daughter. Thank you. ❤
I've been pretty much in full burn out mode for a very long time. It is exausting and due to life circumstances, can't really get away from a lot of it. And just when I think I'm starting to get right, something happens and I'm back to square one :-(
But somethings that have helped limit over the years adding extra things to my ever growing pile of issues. Is things like having a sign on my door that says. 'meditation in progress, whether the door may be open or closed I am NOT here!' and when people ignored it, I let them made it very clear that I was not happy and then chase them off.
Also if people come bug me on my day off or week ends and holidays. Different story if family from far away. An issue if they are next door and they could have made the request or see you during the week. Having my down time interrupted in any way, can mess the entire day up and any rest I was hoping to get goes out the window. Especially with the '5 minute visitor'. Saying they only need to speak to you for 5 minutes and 3 hours later they are still there!
I've also had people keep asking you to do something and kept telling them no. And they were just not listening listening. They were stressing me out badly with the constant badgering about it. So I would just say yes and then, not not do it or not rock up with what they were wanting or to do something. I've had to do this once or twice. And when they are upset about it asking why I didn't. Tell them strait, I had told them no and they wouldn't listen, so I said yes just to Shut them up as they just wouldn't leave me be. After that, tend to listen more now when I say no.
As for work conditions, when every one is out the office I put the radio off. People don't realise how much noise pollution affects you. For me, I even play all my computer games without sound. Allowing me to have fun, without been ground down by sound. If I had to deal with all that noise, I wouldn't in some cases last 5 minutes on somethings. I have a huge issue with high pitched and repetitive sounds and electronic sounds in general. And Stand your ground if people keep insisting you use voice instead of typing. As some games like Secondlife you have the option of both. And those that do have issue with typing there are text to speach apps they can use to talk to you and just copy and paste. People just don't get it. I've purposely not fixed a flaw in a program so people couldn't keep asking to put sound on as it isn't working. Kind of stops them pestering as much.
'games' like Secondlife has been a nice way for me to interact with others and have the flexibility of just disappearing, when I need to. Not be stuck in a room for a couple of hours and you can't leave like in the real world. It cuts out on a lot of the things that get to me with the sensory stuff, And I can be more myself too. also many of the visual clues that people in real life rely on are not there for everyone, so one is also on a more equal footing when interacting. And in my case the typing slows the conversation down allowing me to think things through before answering.
Learning how to compartmentalize all stimuli helps. Assigning values to every noise, color, or shape around you keeps them out of your primary focus. I can stand long periods around others only if I prepare my processing system beforehand; when I cannot keep back the onslaught of data I'm always encountering at my job or out running errands I have to withdraw and collect myself. It isnt even anxiety; it is a complete sense of exhaustion. People drain when youre ND.
Finding a rhythm to match and focus on helps a lot as well, especially when doing physical activity. Complex patterns, like trance or goa, make physical activity a state of mind rather than a physical chore and allows one to tune out all dissonant frequencies.
I’m currently heading for burnout. I’m very aware of it and have unconsciously been doing things to slow it down. But I can still feel it coming.
My major problem is in trying to be like others too much and trying to make them happy. It’s come at a huge cost. I was late diagnosed last year at 53 and got the diagnosis mainly for others who don’t listen to me or believe me when I tell them the things I struggle with. They still don’t believe me and they probably never wonder why I want nothing more to do with them either. To them, I’m just having a childish tantrum. Trying to educate them about autism is a waste of time. Even watching a video like this is too much effort for them. I’m the minority, so I’m expected to put the extra work in to reach their level.
And why am I now crashing?! “Pah! She’ll get over it!”
Excommunicado.
a smart watch to monitor heart rate ,loops for auditory, fidget toys I use playing cards or something tactile, a collapsible water bottle for hydration & glasses for visual, communication cards for when I am non verbal I was actually born in Everett WA & moved to Australia just as I was finishing Jr High I apricate you and you work for humanity spreading seeds for those who wish to cultivate and nourish to better themselves and others
I just found this You Tube forum and I am so grateful for the helpful tips and advice. I was taking care of my 90 year old neighbor who also was dealing and suffering from dementia and alzheimers. I cared for her for over a year, the last five months everyday. In July I completely pulled out of such responsibilities as she was suspicious, paranoid, argumentative and at times verbally abusive. She was finally placed in a wonderful alzheimer care facility and since then I have struggled with autistic burnout. Right now my main issue is chronic insomnia but I fortunately live near a large park that has miles of forest wilderness trails. I am going to start, I used to hike several times a week, today in hopes that this will "clesnse" me from the toxicity I encountered and perhaps allow me to start getting restorative sleep. Very insightful video and I thank you for your medical advice. ❤
My favorite thing about discovering this channel is feeling less alone seeing everyone else also type essays out in the comments as a response, it makes me feel seen and understood by people i know id have hella respect for
And that makes all this feel even better on ny heart ❤️
I dont know how often you read your comment's but thank you for the work you do into autism. Even with mild autism i love to kearn about myself and others like me.
You have described what I am going through exactly to a tee! I am glad to know that everything I'm going through is indeed autistic burnout. I've been dealing with my family telling me I'm lying about being autistic (when I found out when I got my ADHD diagnosis) and calling me a narcissist after trying to explain what's been going on to me to the best of my ability. I lost my job due to my autism. They said I couldn't change my behaviors. Sad story. I didn't report them to the labor board within the time limit either. So, I'm unemployed, in burnout, with only the support of 4 close friends, and no therapy, nor an official ASD assessment (still waiting on the appointment). I have only so much money saved up, EI will give me some, and hopefully I'll get assessed before I run out of money and I can apply for disability within Canada. Because I don't think I can go back to work in a neurotypical environment. It is too hard to mask now.
😥
A small step water therapy I do at work is wash my hands with a sink that punps a lot of water out but doesnt torrent it out forcefully so it running over and pooling around the hands and fingers as i rest my hands on the sink bottom is incredibly relaxing
I got diagnosed with autism last year at 65. I am burned out. Since last November. Since January, when my husband started cancer treatment. Im still exhausted. It been 11 months. I can't seems to get better. I started seeing a therapist. It has helped emotionally, but not with the exhaustion.
Thank you so much for making this video! It was exactly what I needed to hear right now. Much love to anyone reading who is also struggling, now that you are not alone. And that with proper care this autistic meltdown will fade away ❤
This was really quite incredible to watch. Burnout is something I wasn't really aware happened different for ND folk, and it explains a lot on some of the more negative parts in my life in the past 4 years or so. Thank you for the advice - I really think this will help :)
I am not ASD as far as I am aware, but I do have pretty severe ADHD. I'm stuck at a soul-sucking job right now and over the last year I've started to feel symptoms that creep into territory usually covered by autistic burnout. When you don't have words or explanations to put with these symptoms as I originally didn't, it can be terrifying. I have depression and have always navigated those feelings, but was is different. I found myself physically unable to show up to work on time, cunable to feel rested even after 12 hours of sleep, not only disinterested in things that I enjoy but unable to do them, straining relationships with my family due to avoidance to try and manage my stress, chronic pain, daily fantasies while driving to work of just not getting off at that exit (i even did it once), falling asleep while driving, going days without appetite, and (the scariest one for me) often unable to speak in complete sentences or hold basic conversations. I really was beginning to think I was dying or something. But don't worry. Quitting my job soon and working to recover 💪
Best thing I did ever, to remove myself from the situation, it's self-care
My diagnosis was at 60 yrs old, last year. Since then, I have meltdowns every weekend. I am at the homestead all day, have responsibilities. There’s only my husband, other family members don’t care. I do have a Service Dog that helps me with Panic Disorder, I was diagnosed with 5 yrs ago. I have a psychologist that tends to expect me to exhibit specific patterns, not part of how I function.
Thank God for you for calling out the school system’s idiotic trend of starting high school classes at 8 (for me it was much earlier) which completely flies in the face of developmental neuroscience.
It’s time to acknowledge the truth: Schools are daycare centers, and the only reason they start at 8 is to give the parents an hour to drop their kids off and then get to work on time at 9. The school system accommodates everyone but the people it supposedly serves.
I really wish it was as simple as "leave those people". Too disabled to work, I had to live with my mother for 2 years with my child. I was so stuck in burnout. I've now moved, but I still can't get the accommodations I need. Identifying them is a great first step, but having them met mostly depends on if you can pay for them. I moved to the countryside to get peace, quiet and nature, but it costs a lot and now getting my child to kindergarten that's far away takes most of my energy.
Otherwise, a lot of good and concrete tips I will try to implement.
One thing that I think people aren't talking about enough is that corporations and our current economic structure isn't made to accommodate neurodivergent people at all and is too rigid in many ways such as work and such. And this negatively affects neurotypical people as well. As others said in the comments, we are meant to be connected to nature much more than our modern lives allow. Like, to afford rent I have to drive for Uber much more than my body and mind can handle, but if I don't I can't afford rent. What we need is a restructured economy that is centered around providing for everyone and not funneling wealth and resources to the control of just a few people. Greedy corporations and billionaires are literally squeezing the life out of us. And these things disproportionately affect minorities, exacerbating these health issues. No amount of self management can combat this, and its going to take communities coming together and sharing a producing resources locally again to provide for people.
When you linked gastrointestinal issues to autistic burnout, so many things clicked in my head. I'm watching this on break at work and have been looking into a career change for a while, but I'm good at what I do, and I don't hate it, I just hate the people that tend to populate my profession.
The hardest part for me is asking for accommodation/understanding after “masking” for so long. Because I’ve operated that way and people are accustomed to it, they don’t believe how much effort goes into what they see as basic activities, or I actually need more time away from them and have sensory sensitivity.
I tried so hard to become someone who doesn’t get noticed for “all the wrong reasons” or looked at funny, someone who garners respect in social groups and work, and it’s scary to lose that confidence. So many people simply don’t believe me when I speak honestly, and so I say and do what I know is safe to say and do.
Then again, that thinking is what led to a horrendous burnout that has been going on for years, now. Figuring out how to find more sustainable boundaries is a big challenge.
This is the most informative breakdown of autistic burnout I've seen. Super helpful! Thank you!
This video is honestly super helpful and eye-opening. There are certain things that im not sure I can do such as a change of scenery and such because I am a teenager and I live with my parents. Another thing is that I truly believe I am autistic or maybe have adhd because I have almost all of the symptoms and triats of being autistic, but I'm not diagnosed. I've talked with my parents about getting a diagnostic but it still hasn't happened yet. I feel like my needs are being pushed away and ignored. I think my mom was working on trying to set something up with someone but I don't think its going to happen. I recently went to the doctor for my annual checkup and my mom informed my doctor that I believed I was autistic(she never talked with me or told me she was going to do this before hand btw) and when the doctor asked why I thought this I blanked. The doctor then proceeded to say they "didn't think I was autistic" because I had facial expressions such as smiling and that I could have a conversation. This honestly really upset me because to me, those things that I was doing(smiling and and a conversation) felt like it could be masking. And I would consider myself to be very good at masking(even though I know I'm not technically diagnosed). After this my mom never proceeded with getting me diagnosed so I'm still quite upset. I clicked on this video because I know that I have been extremely burnt out and I didn't know how to recover. I think before I'm even able to recover I need to at least know that I am autistic and be diagnosed. I've talked to my parents multiple times but I'm still not sure I'm ever going to be diagnosed while still being a minor and living with my parents. And I really don't want to wait untill I'm an adult to be diagnosed because I'm having this issue with burnout RIGHT NOW and I just don't know how much longer I can just sit here wait and suffer.
I had what i thought to be an autistic burn out back in november. I felt like i was just dumber, got memory losses, hypersensitivity issues... I had achings in my muscles, cramps, digestion problems, and more generally, I felt like I just couldn't restore my social, my "masking" energy. I started the day, and immediately felt exhausted as if I just finished a hard day. I was a danger on the road because I just couldn't give any more attention. God bless the assisted cars we have now. My meltdowns were really frequent, I could have two or three successive meltdowns, and was more often than before nonverbal. Basically, this started in June when I had to move to another city for work. This and the fact that I would have to be separated from my girlfriend, who couldn't follow me. And there are times where I still feel like this. Days that get better, and then for a week i just go back in this situation.
I will try to follow these steps, thanks for your video.
PLEASE SHARE WHAT WE SHOULD DO WHEN SLAMMED WITH A DEPRESSION ATTACK & EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT UN-LIFEY, YOU SUDDENLY BECOME VERY UN-LIFEY.
it's scary 😢
Thanks for your content.
Rest. I realized that I get more unlifey when I try to push through the burnout instead of just allowing myself to rest.
Also, as a late-diagnosed person (at 39!) the tip about trip-planning kind of cracked me up, because I have ALWAYS done that...and always found it odd that most people don't! Because why the heck would you want to risk just wandering around and getting hungry and grumpy if you could have an itinerary with all potential activities and restaurants? And I've always found it hard to explain to people that this doesn't mean my plans are rigid - I change them all the time, but it is that list of options that ALLOWS me to change them on the fly!
Escape planning is also something I had to figure out before being diagnosed, because particularly for late-night social things...if I don't have the option to leave as soon as I get that "OK, I'm DONE" feeling, I will probably have an embarrassing crying meltdown (especially if I've had more than one drink, which seems to heighten the "immediacy" of everything, so I try not to do THAT either). This actually happened at the bachelorette party of one of my best friends. Fortunately, several of the other ladies were also wanting to go home but didn't want to be the "wet blanket" who said so, so it didn't have any lasting negative outcomes. After that point, I found myself trying to arrange to have my own transport arranged so I wasn't stuck if whoever drove me didn't want to leave yet!
I thought exactly the same thing. I plan everything and call it “covering every eventuality”. I’ve always done it too. The boot of my car has lots of things in it for going out and I get criticised for it. But when something happens or there’s a change, I’m prepared. It just makes sense to me and I don’t understand why other people don’t do it.
I really need to do the whole escape planning thing for family gatherings. I’m often sat there trying to stay calm and not be sick when I’m engulfed in perfume and we’re all squashed in and shouting over each other.
The big light bulb just turned on when you advised us what to do when leaving a gathering. Wow! Once again, the undiagnosed me just thought I was weird.
I found this video after having a meltdown a couple days ago. I’ve been trying to understand my brain more and I’d never heard of this before and I can’t believe how perfectly it fits what I went through
I've had burnout + chronic condition at the same time. I can tell you I didn't recover and it's been 4 years