I love “Howl’s Moving Castle” because at the end the prince accepts Sophie doesn’t want him. The prince helps her and risks his life, and he doesn’t do that to buy Sophie’s consent, but because he really cares for her and truly loves her, and he understands Sophie loves Howl. So he’s like “Oh, well” and walks away, doesn’t fight for her or force her to realize how much he cares for her. And that’s a beautiful thing: Acceptance.
4:41 it's times like this when i wish people read more Pride & Prejudice-when Mr. Collins proposes to Elizabeth (the main character), and Elizabeth says no, he says he'll ask again because he knows that women often say no to 'play' their lovers, and this is framed as a bad thing in the book, with Elizabeth fully rejecting him. It's horrible how commentary from the 18th century-from a required-to-read classic, no less, is still applicable today.
Oh boy the blade runner one is extra uncomfortable. All the other women have an instant shift in their mood to make the viewer think the whole thing is fine because it's just how they flirt or whatever. But Rachelle looks uncomfortable the whole way through + it's the one where he is the most violent. putting her in a position where she can't say no and forcing her to yes out loud. Her attitude doesn't change despite the verbal "consent". No amount of sexy music can cover up the rape tones on that one!
It's unbelievably important for a male voice to be intimating these concerns. A woman can literally scream out all day and not be heard. Thank you for making sure this message IS heard.
Thr blade runner scene and a "love" scene from basic instinct convinced me that filmmakers in the 70s and 80s had never seen or heard of consensual sex
The scene with Leia where he drapes his body over hers to help her with something also happened to me at work. I was in the back store room trying to grab something from the back of the shelf, a male co-worker came in and did the same thing as Han and went to grab the item for me while pinning me to the shelf with his body and his arms either side of me. At the time I was terrified, I was very aware that he was bigger than me, stronger than me and we were very much alone. When he moved away from me he said "it's a good thing we know each other so well or that would have been awkward" thing is I barely knew him, I would maybe smile and say "good morning" but that is the extent of our conversations. Apparently that's enough familiarity for men to claim possession of your personal space. I was never comfortable being around him after that and made sure not to ever be alone with him. I was worried that since I didn't rebuff him, just put my head down and left, he would take it as an invitation to keep harassing me. He left that encounter thinking he was being charming, I left it feeling scared and uncomfortable.
Yes in reality it's a truely terrifying and traumatising experience. Hope you stay strong. And we as people should stand up for each other to prevent these situations from accuring and make a better world.
There's an extra layer on the Blade Runner scene. Sean Young, who plays Rachel on the film, said that Ridley Scott, the director, wanted to hook up with her but she rejected him. So he made her "love scene" with Harrison Ford be agressive like that as a form of revenge.
ALSO, THANK YOU for mentioning that the women's response is often written to re-enforce this behavior. I can't tell you how many times I've had men rebuttle me when I make this argument with "the women love it! They kiss at the end!" This totally perpetuates the culture of No means Yes and I hate it.
Even sadder it is that I think these depictions don't only affect the way men see themselves, but also affect women. I know it colored my own expectations growing up.
@@RainAngel111 That community actually tends to be very good about consent. Because thats very important if you want to do it in any sort of healthy way.
@@galaxyjam3742the fact that you can watch a video like this, agree that predatory romance is morally bad, yet still think S&M is morally okay is just insane to me. Like how can you not see any contradiction in that logic?
@@XMysticHeroxexplain consensual non-consent then. Explain how people who partake in that are good with consent. People who do that sick stuff actually prefer to not have safe words. Anyone who is into S&M is a freak and they’re just as sick as the people who wrote these predatory scenes.
Women also learn that they are supposed to like it this way, and are undesirable and abnormal if they don't, which is crazy. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecy...
If you changed the music in the Blade Runner scene to something more dramatic or sinister the scene's meaning would be completely different. It seems that it is mostly the music that makes this scene 'okay'. Wtf man
Thank you for analyzing masculinity in a way that is personal, vulnerable, and sincere. You are a gleaming example of how men have an equal stake in changing gender roles, not just women, and your voice at the table is desperately needed.
This style of romance in film actually originates back in the early 20th century. Around the 30s/40s, it was seen as improper for women to engage in sexual activity at all outside of marriage, whether they wanted to or not. For that reason, a culture began of women having to say no coyly and the men having to read that as a yes - think of songs like Baby It's Cold Outside and the line 'say, what's in this drink?' A line like that was a common way for women to excuse the sexual activity as something they were tricked into so that they wouldn't be socially condemned. It was potentially a much more dangerous version of rape culture as there was no acceptable way for women to indicate consent, or a lack thereof. It was all down to the man interpreting what the woman was implying (which is also perhaps where the whole 'she was asking for it' thing comes from, because back then, they would have been asking for it even if they were verbally saying no). Scenes like this are a remnant of that style of romance which is seen as old-fashioned and therefore more 'romantic' because it contains a sense of nostalgia for a different time. Nonetheless, it needs to stop because it teaches very dangerous ideas.
There was (and to some extent still is) an idea like this in Japanese culture. It used to be expected that the woman would say no and that the man would pester them until she agreed. It's interesting to me, because Japan has historically been much less strict about pre-marital sex
Not to mention the fact that Carrie Fisher was 19 years old when first doing star wars and Harrison Ford was 33. There is usually always an age difference between actors that plays into the unbalanced power dynamic.
Exactly what I was thinking. And this is most often the case for most couples onscreen: a male lead decades older than his female costar. Even when the film has no age gap in the plot, casting films this way definitely reinforces harmful stereotypes. The idea of an older man (sometimes a much older man) being the ideal for a younger woman is so prevalent in our media.
Everything about Frozen was a great message for girls. The asking for consent, that "Love at First Sight" was shown to be reckless (and ultimately dangerous), that Anna fell in love with Kristoff only after really getting to know him first, that the act of true love that unfroze her heart wasn't a kiss with Kristoff but rather saving her sister which dispelled the notion that romantic love is the most important kind of love...*chef kiss* perfection.
It was really weird to me that you didnt bring up the way marion was introduced in raiders. The fact that she was 15-16 when she first had a romance with indy when he was 27. M: I learned to hate you in the last ten years. I: i never meant to hurt you/ M: I was a child, I was in love, it was wrong and you knew it!/ I: you knew what you were doing
These types of scenes, where the man aggressively pushes and shoves the woman and she says no and he mischievously says "i know you mean yes!" wouldnt fly anymore in a modern film. Later edit: *sees James Bond film* ...Oh wait, never mind
This is a very clear demonstration of something I struggle to explain. When women are asked "why do you lie about having a boyfriend" or "why didn't you get mad or tell him no?" when a man is hitting on them the answer is because there is this fear of violence!
holy shit, I never thought of the scenes as creepy until I saw them isolated from the cool adventure stuff...gotta keep this video in mind when writing. this kind of 'romance' is hella creepy, and i'm a guy, so I don't even wanna imagine how weird must feel for girls to watch them.
It always confuses me how enthusiastic consent isn't something more well-loved in media. I would think having someone openly interested in you would be more flattering and enjoyable than someone who isn't. But then again, men, as these movies have shown, are taught to see women as conquests and objects to dominate rather than human beings.
Some of those scenes are really hard to watch. You have to wonder if anybody involved in the production was ever like, "Is it just me, or is this totally fucked up?"
Several discussions online have mentioned that the film crew were upset by the way Ford changed the intent of the Blade Runner scene via his angry/aggressive performance
I felt this watching that scene in Sceptre in the cinema. Honestly really felt sick to the stomach to see a "hero" like Bond being portrayed doing that and having no negative repercussions/indications that that's not acceptable
Daniel Craig said in an interview a while ago that Bond was [still] a misogynist, and shouldn't be a role model of manhood at all. I wonder if he ever had any say in the script at how Bond's interactions with women go. Considering every Bond movie that came out after Casino Royale though, I don't think a lot of thought went into those scripts anyway. And disturbing to think that Indiana Jones' relationship antics could've actually been *worse* had George Lucas been able to stick with his original concept of Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I remember watching Emperor strikes back with my dad a few years back and when I was like "ugh Han should leave Leia alone" my dad said she "clearly secretly likes him!" and it felt... really troubling
Re-watching Bladerunner as an adult is a very uncomfortable experience. I was enthusiastically showing that movie to someone who had never seen it before, and then when that scene started happening we were both just like, well, this is really disturbing all of a sudden.
As a man, I firmly believe that, as a general rule of thumb, there is no such thing as “playing hard to get.” If a woman rejects you or rebuffs an advance, always accept it as a genuine rejection, and leave it at that. In the hugely rare cases where she subsequently reveals that she actually was “playing hard to get,” then tell her that that’s a bullshit concept invented by (almost exclusively male) Hollywood writers, with a view to either inject a little romantic or sexual tension/conflict into the plot, or to portray a female character as a strong and independent woman who must be broken down by the male lead, in the style of Taming of the Shrew, and that in real life, it teaches men not to respect a woman’s right to say no or assert her boundaries, and contributes significantly to the problematic issue of sexual harassment that is so heavily embedded in our culture. In real life, courtship does not, and should not, involve mind games.
But the reality is that modern dating does involve a lot of mind games. The amount of mixed signals, playing hard to get, scarcity tactics, and just general toxic BS that happens nowadays is mind blowing. Both men and women do it. People are so brainwashed by the media
I saw Blade Runner on a first date when it was originally released. I was so traumatized by the rape scene, I forgot everything else. I'd been in her shoes . I'm so glad that you point out how filmmakers use music and comedy to normalize these scenarios. Women of my generation were often told, "If rape is inevitable, just lie back and enjoy it". It's sad that movies still do this. All too many women know that more violent resistance leads to a more violent attack. Having seen these Ford characters in action, the women he pursued knew he was prone to resort to violence when thwarted.
I remember watching the original trilogy and being really confused as to why someone like princess leia would be remotely interested in a douch bag like han solo, he acted like such a creep with little to no respect for her. -_-
As a woman that is Carrie Fisher's height (5'1), let me tell you that the idea of a man pulling the Han Solo move would terrify me. I am way smaller and weaker than every man I know and if a man did this they could easily keep me there. That is terrifying to think about. It doesn't matter if I like them back, being pinned against them and the wall would give me no space or chance to move away if I wanted to, and due to my size, I wouldn't be able to fight them off. Especially since Harrison Ford was over a foot taller than her. That sort of size difference would be terrifying, especially if the man in question completely ignores you trying to get him to give you space.
All the dislikes...lmao are people NOT seeing how creepy this trope is? It's literally being shown right up front to you about why we need to STOP treating women like this and you're gonna dislike the vid? What a world we live in. Honestly, bless you Pop Culture Detective for talking about this honestly, cause these things are so important to talk about!
I think it's also important to note that these sorts of scenes can also socialize women to believe they are supposed to like these sorts of men or react positively to "take force" kind of men, even if emotionally they don't like it. This is the exact kind of feeling that makes women uncomfortable saying no or afraid of reporting rape. Somewhere inside they believe they are in the wrong for not reacting "correctly."
Lmao, I'm glad someone else has noticed this. I've been harbouring a (perhaps unfounded) vague dislike of Harrison Ford for years, and I'm pretty sure it's all got to do with his roles. I remember being horrified by that scene in Blade Runner. And then when I finally watched Star Wars, I was shocked that Han was the character everyone was obsessed with, because I just found him to be an annoying jackass.
Tina Loye I don't know anything about Harrison Ford (though what little I've heard of his affair with Carrie makes him sound rather shady), so I guess "dislike" is the wrong word. I don't feel too strongly about him either way, but there's a faint aversion. And I know it's 100% because I've hated every character I've seen him play.
I feel exactly like this about him and really every other guy who gives off the same vibes as the characters he plays. i was in situations like this myself and watching this video was really eye opening but now i'm just sitting here buzzing with flight-or-fight response
Solanuma Yeah, this and the Born Sexy Yesterday video made me rage for about three hours. Both are things I've noticed and despised for ages (see: my decades-long hatred of Fifth Element and Luc Besson, who is a freak), but seeing so many examples archived in one place makes me wanna hurl.
I know exactly what you mean!! I've always hated his films 1) because he plays variations of the same character pretty much always and 2) those characters are predatory jerks. Yet most men idealize him and cite these films as among their favorite. Even more worrisome is all the women who idealize these characters as their ideal man. I think it's important to note these tropes socialize a lot of woman to equate this behavior with romance as well.
It's really shitty that ppl can see those scenes and think they're romantic. As someone who's been in similar situations, that shit is straight up terrifying. Especially when you voice your discomfort and they take it as a green light. It's definitely a huge problem in our society. Awesome video to bring light to this!
That Blade Runner scene made me feel sick. My god. I haven't seen much of the actual movie and that really caught me off guard. How was that approved? I know it was a different time and all (though obviously similar scenes still happen today), but that's just awful. Take away the disgusting "sexy" music and it's just a rape scene. Why was Harrison Ford always in these roles? I know typecasting exists, but this plus the fact that, as a married 33 year old, he slept with 19 year old Carrie Fisher, has ruined his appeal in my eyes.
For a moment, the music during the Blade Runner scene seems to imply that something dangerous and insidious is about to happen, and then suddenly, twinkling piano notes set in. It's jarring.
I really enjoyed this and your other video on the Born Sexy Yesterday trope. I was wondering if you've read Leigh Brackett's original screenplay for The Empire Strikes Back? The love scenes between Han and Leia are radically different, with much more of an emphasis on consent - disappointing that the work of a woman screenwriter was overridden with this predatory garbage.
Yeah, there are even some deleted scenes floating around online where Leia actually gives consent or at least appears to be more enthusiastic, it's a shame that got cut :/
In one of her books, Carrie talked about how she was drunk at a party and Harrison Ford forced himself on her, so are we really surprised he found no problem in these roles?
I watched bladerunner for the first time recently. When that scene started I was like, "oh shit, he's going to rape her", and then the sax started playing and I was like, "oh right yeah, this movie's from the 80s."
I'm not going lie. Even in the mildest of these scenes, I would not only not speak to that character again, I would feel violated and traumatized. 100% never romantic.
Worth noting is that all of these movies were heavily inspired by and played on tropes of older films. Star Wars and Indiana Jones were inspired by a time where Hollywood portrayed strong women in a response to feminism; but felt the need to tear them down and show that they just wanted to be dominated and needed the right man. Blade Runner is influenced heavily by noir and hard boiled PI stories. They also build on and challenge these old ideas, and that is a huge part of why they are such fun films. But then they fail because they do not actually challenge or respond to the sexism, they tend to just carry it over from all the source material unscathed. Star Wars works a bit better because in the end Leia saves and pursues Han. Not ideal; but it does feel like they did attempt to flip things on their head by the third movie. I think we can probably thank Carrie Fisher for that. They are still movies that you really need to sit down and discuss with your kids what they just saw.
The guys who produced these movies are the same guys who are being caught pressuring and threatening actresses into sex on casting couches, are we really surprised this is the way they view romance?
Would love to see a Pop Culture Detective review of Fifty Shades of Grey. Total predatory romance film. The character Christian Grey has a lot of sociopathic traits, yet women are supposed to swoon over this. That was my takeaway from that film - seemed to be selling sociopathy as something seductive and desirable. Oh and women are supposed to feel bad for Grey because he was an abused child, so everything he does, no matter how controlling, manipulative or damaging is excused.
This is something I particularly admire in the Hulu series "Marvel's Runaways". There are numerous occasions of men specifically asking for consent ("Is this okay?") before engaging in any romantic/sexual behavior with a woman.
thanks for being like? the only Film Bro™ who talks critically abt shit and isnt just like 'ahh yes love those good movies about sexual predatory behavior played off as ideals' your videos are a lot more interesting than a lot of other ppls
With all the various cuts of Blade Runner, it blows my mind that the sexual assault scene wasn't cut out in ANY of the versions of the film. Because here's the thing: it doesn't work with the story Bladerunner is trying to tell. Bladerunner has a pretty solid theme throughout the movie: "humans don't treat replicants as people, and that is wrong." This scene seems to go along with that theme at first glance, but because of the way it is framed, it actually breaks the film's message. Unlike all the other atrocities Ford's character commits, this one isn't painted as wrong. There are no repercussions for this scene. He does not grow to regret his actions towards her, and they end up together at the end of the film (literally driving into the sunset). Instead of being punished for his behavior, he is rewarded. If this scene were to work with the movie's overall theme, it needed to be painted as a MAJOR DEAL-BREAKER and a massive flaw, but unlike his other actions, this one goes unexamined, and therefore goes against the greater theme of the story.
during high school my friend was sexually abused for months by a guy who was really into the original Star Wars trilogy and acted JUST LIKE Ford in all of these scenes. poor dearie is still doing therapy for his abuse a decade later. scenes like these are very dangerous. edit: a little more context, he actually made my friend watch a lot of these movies with him because he liked them so much and had been rewatching them since he was a kid
You really do amazing work here. Being a man myself, to hear another man so coherently present the problems with society’s perceived ideal male and masculinity is wonderful. I’ve watched as many videos of yours as I could over the past few days and shared them with some people, and one person I shared them with is excited to share parts of your stalking video with the people they educate. Don’t stop these; if enough people hear the messages you’re promoting, a change will happen in society’s views and behavior.
Rick in Blade Runner really disturbed me when I watched it for the first time recently. I never saw him as a good person or a hero and it troubled me to see that people saw him as those things. That scene was horrific and the fact that it is framed as sexy or seductive is disgusting, it is so blatantly assault. Thanks for another great video!
He isn't a good person, he isn't even a person. He's a robot. He isn't supposed to be a hero, more of a flawed anti-hero. The "sexy" framing is jarring and makes it even more uncomfortable to watch, which is the whole point, I think.
I was debating on whether or not to watch this because, as a woman, I was concerned it would just make me feel more depressed and worried about men. And it did. But I think you said some very important things, especially given the current climate of sexual harassment cases coming out in the news almost weekly. The sad thing is, the one example you gave of a film which portrays consent positively is generally seen to be a "girl's" film; what we need are more examples of positive consent in media targeted at men, so that men learn how consent works.
The Harrison Ford version of this kind of masculinity can be seen being out right copy and pasted onto Chris Pratt's roles of his short film career already and it's doubly strange to see in this age and with an actor that broke out with a character that is very much a rebuff of these traditional masculine norms. Passengers, Jurassic World, Magnificent Seven, even a little in Guardians of the Galaxy. You can see the seams of a poorly fitted Harrison Ford-alike suit on these characters that have no business living in the modern age. This kind of thing has been going on for decades but I bring up Pratt specifically because his fame has been largely created by his appeal to woman and that appeal is because he's not a traditionally threatening masculine archetype. His approachability and kindness as Parks and Rec's Andy (a role written by a woman I believe) was the large stepping stone for his career so when I see him being written as essentially a Shiny New Harrison Ford in roles that bomb (regardless of the box office I doubt anyone remembers what his characters' name were in any of those movies listed other than Guardians) I find myself shaking my head wondering what the fuck studio execs think people really want from their heroes these days.
Interesting how this kind of depiction works both ways in shaping expectations. It isn't only teaching boys 'how to be men" but also what girls should expect as women. What they should want. Growing up, I've heard both from close friends and acquaintances and countless situations online where women were legitimately frustrated that men weren't pursuing them after telling them no. That the guy didn't intuitively keep guessing or assuming that they wanted it and push anyways. Obviously this only applied to guys they already wanted, other men who tried were quickly put down (and rightfully so, this stuff is awful). And I'm not saying all women do this, or that these women were necessarily to blame or were monsters for their way of thinking, just that this was so ingrained in to /everyone/ from a young age. It's something both men and women need to stop and take a look at, assess all our actions as a whole; grow from it as a society.
the messy thing about this is that you don't have to eliminate somewhat aggressive or dominant behavior in men or coy behavior in women you just need to make it clear that the woman are actually interested and demonstrate that they actually make a choice to be with the man. thanks for putting this together.
I actually like sexual aggression from my boyfriend but we literally sit down and talk about what I mean and what the limits are and what we're both comfortable with and how to put an end to it if things go too far well before anything happens. This sort of aggression outside of a trusting relationship is fucking disturbing.
Generally a good video, but I have one comment about Blade Runner: It's been a really long time since I saw it, but was Deckard supposed to be a likable protagonist or "a hero"? I always think of him as a very gray character, maybe even dark gray, and at worst a villain-protagonist. Isn't his storyline that he basically hunts down and kills runaway slaves looking for basic human rights and decent lives?
I am really enjoying this series! I wish people could understand the importance of thinking and being critical of media that they've grown up with and be knowledgeable of the problems embedded within them.
"You like the way I do things" "I'm going to continue to do things the way they should be done" Really speaks to the leadership role many believe men should have generally. Sexual (violence) is where it's clearest seen.
wow. I finally foubd the reason why I as a woman never liked Ford's movies, whereas my father or my boyfriend really enjoyed them. when i rewatch them they seem absolutely horrifying to me. and i do notice this behavior in real life as well, and I am guilty of this 'no means actually yes' behavior. i think we must teach girls and not only boys about consent, that they can say yes without the boy asking and that their no will be accepted. we can't just blame men for this.
EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THIS VIDEO!!! I just watched Blader Runner yesterday and ALL I got out of it was how freaking weird and toxic that scene was, ruined the whole thing for me. PLEASE keep making videos like this!!! ps: my heart smiled in that scene of Frozen after wanting to punch something the whole video
I really appreciate you using your male privilege for good. As much as it sucks, one can't deny that most people would unconsciously or consciously be more receptive to a male voice delivering this truth. Thank you for trying to spread knowledge that could save people.
Thank you for making these videos and pointing these things out - because women are rarely listened to when we do the same. Predatory masculinity is one of the scariest things out there for me as a woman but it is everywhere that is culturally deemed as a "place to score" - bars, clubs, dates,... all the places people go to maybe meet someone are especially rife with it. I just hope more men learn to listen why it isn't ok
I'm so glad that in my high school film class, we never interpreted that scene in Blade Runner as romantic. My teacher never tried to "play devil's advocate" or tell us otherwise. Everyone in the class was in total agreement that it was sexual assault.
In the novel (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?), Rachel is a different character and she is explicit in her sex offer to Deckard and - SPOILER ALERT - she does it to make him feel bad about thinking of killing her or Prissy since they are the same model.
And now we know the real reason Han & Leia broke up :O Also, their relationship was always weird in general. Like the "I love you", "I know". I swear that is one of the worst things to call romantic, but it doesn't stop people :(
The persistent advances of Harrison's characters are so domineering and steeped with gaslighting, it's hard not to assume that the female characters only acquiesce in fear for their lives or like this Internet age, fear of shame and humiliation for rejecting a seemingly "nice guy." Which is not romantic and certainly harbors questions of consent.
Man, even when I was a kid, Deckard scared the shit out of me in that scene in Blade Runner. Not once in that scene did he seem in love or even lustful, he just seemed angry and bitter. His eyes read nothing but aggression in that scene. Still scares me. Love that movie despite it, however.
It's worse in a lot of old Indian movies where it's way more romanticised and entire segments of music and screen time is dedicated to portraying the hero repeatedly following and harassing the heroine till she finally "falls" for him
Oh gosh, thank you for this! I've been thinking of the Blade Runner and Star Wars scenes a lot in terms of really rapey scenes, and even thought "What is it about Harrison Ford movies?" I think to an extent there's maybe this odd element of Harrison Ford being handsome in an obvious way. You can be a straight man and understand that he's handsome. If he was being genuinely charming and sensitive, I think male audiences might find it annoying, the way they get annoyed with Twilight or boy bands- straight female romantic fantasy and male power fantasy don't quite sync up. How can Han be a cool rogue who gets what he wants and also respect Leia's sexual autonomy? It's also that Leia's rebuffing of him is presented as her highly prioritizing her job and responsibilities, and that's silly, she's a lady! I think there's also an element of risk, reward, and entitlement. If he's putting himself at risk for these women then clearly they owe him something. He's a cool badass, and they're not! This is what makes it really frightening, because of the framing there's no "Well if she REALLY didn't want it, she could have REALLY told him off and been more assertive! She could have hit him!" they need him because he's their only hope of safety, so they can't piss him off or escape Nevermind that women are taught not to be "rude" and to prioritize other people's feelings even at the expense of their own comfort or security. They're already framed as being foolish, wrong, and emotional, so it's okay for him to be forceful, and if they get hurt trying to get away from him or as a result of turning him down, it was even more proof of how foolish and wrong they were, so they deserved it. I'll occasionally watch something where a man is violent towards a woman he's interested in, and instead of thinking that he's a bad, violent person, I'm left responding the way I think the narrative wants me to, thinking she should have played along more and given him what he wanted, at least until she could get away. A really bizarre thing is that I'd heard a lot of hype for Blade Runner, and once I saw it I was baffled that no one had thought to mention the rape scene. The most i was was "Wasn't that a rape scene?" "No, because she was a robot" which was really missing the point of the whole film? "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Also I'm a robot and incapable of consent. Beep boop, time to die." As a woman it's a really upsetting experience, I can count up the nos like you did, I can call back to moments in my own life where I was telling someone "No" and really meant it, but when I try to argue for my view of these scenes I'm told that it was intended to be romantic, it wasn't meant to be upsetting, that I'm taking it too seriously and should just relax.
This is so important for men to understand, honestly. Because most movies that portray a woman being harassed by a man show it in a very aggressive and obvious manner, and they're often saved by a "good guy". But in real life, most times when women feel most threatened by a man, especially in public, it's situations like this, and they are/feel alone. Times where the guy is implying things that make you uncomfortable, approaching you in a subtlety predatory way, and making you feel trapped. You feel paranoid and aren't sure what to do, and you worry about when you should stand up to him, if at all. If you make a big deal out of it, he can simply say you two were just having a conversation, and it makes you look rude and like you were overreacting, and people call you a feminazi man-hater. If you do nothing, could the situation escalate until it's too late for you to do something? These are the kinds of things women worry about in public, and then if something does happen to them, they get blamed and told they should be more careful. If someone tells you no, even if it's your friend, your significant other, your spouse, it still means no.
Yes. It's terribly confusing to young women who are still naive and inexperienced. This behavior is shown in movies not as self-centered, objectifying lust, but as part of the love journey. It's terrible in the real world to see that naïveté of a young woman used against her and her dreams dashed. Either the guy uses her and leaves. Or the encounter becomes violent. Either way, it's quite destructive to the woman's psyche. Wonderful you showed the clip from "Frozen" at the end. A bit of light after all the dark.
I remember being a teenager and getting home to find Blade Runner on the tv my parents were watching. I'd never seen it, but immediately recognized Harrison Ford because, well duh. The 'romance' scene had just started. I had no context on the scene and remember getting really anxious when he stopped the woman from leaving. I thought I was watching a rape scene. Videos like this really expose toxic tropes, and that it is a man discussing these issues really gives me hope that we can begin to destroy negative gender tropes on both sides of the equation. Love that you go in-depth into the problem.
You think its funny romantic until the assault happens to us. No matter how famous, handsome they are, its incredibly violating.. That pain never goes away.
I love “Howl’s Moving Castle” because at the end the prince accepts Sophie doesn’t want him. The prince helps her and risks his life, and he doesn’t do that to buy Sophie’s consent, but because he really cares for her and truly loves her, and he understands Sophie loves Howl. So he’s like “Oh, well” and walks away, doesn’t fight for her or force her to realize how much he cares for her.
And that’s a beautiful thing: Acceptance.
a fickle heart is the only constant in this world ^_^
4:41 it's times like this when i wish people read more Pride & Prejudice-when Mr. Collins proposes to Elizabeth (the main character), and Elizabeth says no, he says he'll ask again because he knows that women often say no to 'play' their lovers, and this is framed as a bad thing in the book, with Elizabeth fully rejecting him. It's horrible how commentary from the 18th century-from a required-to-read classic, no less, is still applicable today.
Also the reason why Elizabeth and Darcy were so good together is because when he rejects him, he accepts it.
Oh boy the blade runner one is extra uncomfortable. All the other women have an instant shift in their mood to make the viewer think the whole thing is fine because it's just how they flirt or whatever. But Rachelle looks uncomfortable the whole way through + it's the one where he is the most violent. putting her in a position where she can't say no and forcing her to yes out loud. Her attitude doesn't change despite the verbal "consent". No amount of sexy music can cover up the rape tones on that one!
Agreed!!
I felt sick the first time I saw that scene. Made me honestly dislike deckard alot, it's a large stain on an otherwise amazing film.
It's unbelievably important for a male voice to be intimating these concerns. A woman can literally scream out all day and not be heard. Thank you for making sure this message IS heard.
This is exactly what I love about this channel. It's very sad, but women just aren't taken as seriously as men on these issues
Thr blade runner scene and a "love" scene from basic instinct convinced me that filmmakers in the 70s and 80s had never seen or heard of consensual sex
Yet “Basic Instinct” has a consensual sex scene with Nick and Catherine.
Also, Paul Verhoeven filmed a consensual pool sex scene in “Showgirls”.
@@beethovensfidelio Nono, it was written that way. It’s in the script so it never could have been consensual.
The scene with Leia where he drapes his body over hers to help her with something also happened to me at work.
I was in the back store room trying to grab something from the back of the shelf, a male co-worker came in and did the same thing as Han and went to grab the item for me while pinning me to the shelf with his body and his arms either side of me. At the time I was terrified, I was very aware that he was bigger than me, stronger than me and we were very much alone.
When he moved away from me he said "it's a good thing we know each other so well or that would have been awkward" thing is I barely knew him, I would maybe smile and say "good morning" but that is the extent of our conversations. Apparently that's enough familiarity for men to claim possession of your personal space.
I was never comfortable being around him after that and made sure not to ever be alone with him. I was worried that since I didn't rebuff him, just put my head down and left, he would take it as an invitation to keep harassing me. He left that encounter thinking he was being charming, I left it feeling scared and uncomfortable.
Yes in reality it's a truely terrifying and traumatising experience. Hope you stay strong. And we as people should stand up for each other to prevent these situations from accuring and make a better world.
Yes in reality it's a truely terrifying and traumatising experience.
There's an extra layer on the Blade Runner scene. Sean Young, who plays Rachel on the film, said that Ridley Scott, the director, wanted to hook up with her but she rejected him. So he made her "love scene" with Harrison Ford be agressive like that as a form of revenge.
That's completely disgusting
That's actually sick...
What a sick man.
What on earth? I’m actually speechless. I’ve lost all respect for Ridley Scott, what a vile & pathetic human being
This also feeds into the toxic, "if he hits you, that means he likes you" saying that people _still_ tell their children.
That is a horrific statement
ALSO, THANK YOU for mentioning that the women's response is often written to re-enforce this behavior. I can't tell you how many times I've had men rebuttle me when I make this argument with "the women love it! They kiss at the end!"
This totally perpetuates the culture of No means Yes and I hate it.
You wrote this 7 years ago, and I'm agreeing with you 7 years later, so I just hope you're doing well :)
Even sadder it is that I think these depictions don't only affect the way men see themselves, but also affect women. I know it colored my own expectations growing up.
Omg same especially the 007 scene
The worst part of this is that men start to think that woman like being forced to do things
And I mean, I ain't gonna kinkshame anybody who likes a little S&M in their love life, but you don't do that shit the first time you have sex.
@@RainAngel111 More importantly, you have a conversation and establish hard rules and boundaries to keep everything safe and happy firsthand.
@@RainAngel111 That community actually tends to be very good about consent. Because thats very important if you want to do it in any sort of healthy way.
@@galaxyjam3742the fact that you can watch a video like this, agree that predatory romance is morally bad, yet still think S&M is morally okay is just insane to me. Like how can you not see any contradiction in that logic?
@@XMysticHeroxexplain consensual non-consent then. Explain how people who partake in that are good with consent. People who do that sick stuff actually prefer to not have safe words.
Anyone who is into S&M is a freak and they’re just as sick as the people who wrote these predatory scenes.
Women also learn that they are supposed to like it this way, and are undesirable and abnormal if they don't, which is crazy. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecy...
If you changed the music in the Blade Runner scene to something more dramatic or sinister the scene's meaning would be completely different. It seems that it is mostly the music that makes this scene 'okay'. Wtf man
Thank you for analyzing masculinity in a way that is personal, vulnerable, and sincere. You are a gleaming example of how men have an equal stake in changing gender roles, not just women, and your voice at the table is desperately needed.
This style of romance in film actually originates back in the early 20th century. Around the 30s/40s, it was seen as improper for women to engage in sexual activity at all outside of marriage, whether they wanted to or not. For that reason, a culture began of women having to say no coyly and the men having to read that as a yes - think of songs like Baby It's Cold Outside and the line 'say, what's in this drink?' A line like that was a common way for women to excuse the sexual activity as something they were tricked into so that they wouldn't be socially condemned. It was potentially a much more dangerous version of rape culture as there was no acceptable way for women to indicate consent, or a lack thereof. It was all down to the man interpreting what the woman was implying (which is also perhaps where the whole 'she was asking for it' thing comes from, because back then, they would have been asking for it even if they were verbally saying no). Scenes like this are a remnant of that style of romance which is seen as old-fashioned and therefore more 'romantic' because it contains a sense of nostalgia for a different time. Nonetheless, it needs to stop because it teaches very dangerous ideas.
There was (and to some extent still is) an idea like this in Japanese culture. It used to be expected that the woman would say no and that the man would pester them until she agreed.
It's interesting to me, because Japan has historically been much less strict about pre-marital sex
Not to mention the fact that Carrie Fisher was 19 years old when first doing star wars and Harrison Ford was 33. There is usually always an age difference between actors that plays into the unbalanced power dynamic.
Exactly what I was thinking. And this is most often the case for most couples onscreen: a male lead decades older than his female costar. Even when the film has no age gap in the plot, casting films this way definitely reinforces harmful stereotypes. The idea of an older man (sometimes a much older man) being the ideal for a younger woman is so prevalent in our media.
That scene from Frozen is absolutely fantastic, I completely forgot about it. What a nice display of asking for consent in a movie aimed at children.
Everything about Frozen was a great message for girls. The asking for consent, that "Love at First Sight" was shown to be reckless (and ultimately dangerous), that Anna fell in love with Kristoff only after really getting to know him first, that the act of true love that unfroze her heart wasn't a kiss with Kristoff but rather saving her sister which dispelled the notion that romantic love is the most important kind of love...*chef kiss* perfection.
I don't even like Frozen but I 100% agree that that scene was a wonderful way of showing consenual romance in a Disney film :)
It was really weird to me that you didnt bring up the way marion was introduced in raiders. The fact that she was 15-16 when she first had a romance with indy when he was 27. M: I learned to hate you in the last ten years. I: i never meant to hurt you/ M: I was a child, I was in love, it was wrong and you knew it!/ I: you knew what you were doing
Yeah, they straight-up say in dialogue that Indy committed statutory rape.
Yiiiikes.
These types of scenes, where the man aggressively pushes and shoves the woman and she says no and he mischievously says "i know you mean yes!" wouldnt fly anymore in a modern film.
Later edit: *sees James Bond film* ...Oh wait, never mind
This is a very clear demonstration of something I struggle to explain. When women are asked "why do you lie about having a boyfriend" or "why didn't you get mad or tell him no?" when a man is hitting on them the answer is because there is this fear of violence!
I get so sick of judgement like this.
holy shit, I never thought of the scenes as creepy until I saw them isolated from the cool adventure stuff...gotta keep this video in mind when writing. this kind of 'romance' is hella creepy, and i'm a guy, so I don't even wanna imagine how weird must feel for girls to watch them.
It is because it isolated and heavily biased. You don’t notice in the movie because characters actually have a story and Energie.
It always confuses me how enthusiastic consent isn't something more well-loved in media. I would think having someone openly interested in you would be more flattering and enjoyable than someone who isn't. But then again, men, as these movies have shown, are taught to see women as conquests and objects to dominate rather than human beings.
Same. I honestly just chop that up to misogyny
Some of those scenes are really hard to watch. You have to wonder if anybody involved in the production was ever like, "Is it just me, or is this totally fucked up?"
Several discussions online have mentioned that the film crew were upset by the way Ford changed the intent of the Blade Runner scene via his angry/aggressive performance
I felt this watching that scene in Sceptre in the cinema. Honestly really felt sick to the stomach to see a "hero" like Bond being portrayed doing that and having no negative repercussions/indications that that's not acceptable
that scene in Blade Runner was always so creepy and uncomfortable to me.
Daniel Craig said in an interview a while ago that Bond was [still] a misogynist, and shouldn't be a role model of manhood at all. I wonder if he ever had any say in the script at how Bond's interactions with women go. Considering every Bond movie that came out after Casino Royale though, I don't think a lot of thought went into those scripts anyway.
And disturbing to think that Indiana Jones' relationship antics could've actually been *worse* had George Lucas been able to stick with his original concept of Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
That Bladerunner scene is some chilling shit :|
I remember watching Emperor strikes back with my dad a few years back and when I was like "ugh Han should leave Leia alone" my dad said she "clearly secretly likes him!" and it felt... really troubling
Re-watching Bladerunner as an adult is a very uncomfortable experience. I was enthusiastically showing that movie to someone who had never seen it before, and then when that scene started happening we were both just like, well, this is really disturbing all of a sudden.
As a man, I firmly believe that, as a general rule of thumb, there is no such thing as “playing hard to get.” If a woman rejects you or rebuffs an advance, always accept it as a genuine rejection, and leave it at that. In the hugely rare cases where she subsequently reveals that she actually was “playing hard to get,” then tell her that that’s a bullshit concept invented by (almost exclusively male) Hollywood writers, with a view to either inject a little romantic or sexual tension/conflict into the plot, or to portray a female character as a strong and independent woman who must be broken down by the male lead, in the style of Taming of the Shrew, and that in real life, it teaches men not to respect a woman’s right to say no or assert her boundaries, and contributes significantly to the problematic issue of sexual harassment that is so heavily embedded in our culture. In real life, courtship does not, and should not, involve mind games.
But the reality is that modern dating does involve a lot of mind games. The amount of mixed signals, playing hard to get, scarcity tactics, and just general toxic BS that happens nowadays is mind blowing. Both men and women do it. People are so brainwashed by the media
I saw Blade Runner on a first date when it was originally released. I was so traumatized by the rape scene, I forgot everything else. I'd been in her shoes
.
I'm so glad that you point out how filmmakers use music and comedy to normalize these scenarios. Women of my generation were often told, "If rape is inevitable, just lie back and enjoy it". It's sad that movies still do this.
All too many women know that more violent resistance leads to a more violent attack. Having seen these Ford characters in action, the women he pursued knew he was prone to resort to violence when thwarted.
i knew i had a reason to feel uncomfortable about han solo and princess leia
I remember watching the original trilogy and being really confused as to why someone like princess leia would be remotely interested in a douch bag like han solo, he acted like such a creep with little to no respect for her. -_-
also the fact that carrie fisher was 19 and Harrison was 33. He also harassed her when she was drunk.
As a woman that is Carrie Fisher's height (5'1), let me tell you that the idea of a man pulling the Han Solo move would terrify me. I am way smaller and weaker than every man I know and if a man did this they could easily keep me there. That is terrifying to think about. It doesn't matter if I like them back, being pinned against them and the wall would give me no space or chance to move away if I wanted to, and due to my size, I wouldn't be able to fight them off. Especially since Harrison Ford was over a foot taller than her. That sort of size difference would be terrifying, especially if the man in question completely ignores you trying to get him to give you space.
Same here!! I’m also a woman who is 5’1 in height so that happening to me would be terrifying, not romantic!
"oh she secretly really wants it"
me: and you secretly really want to be punched
All the dislikes...lmao are people NOT seeing how creepy this trope is?
It's literally being shown right up front to you about why we need to STOP treating women like this and you're gonna dislike the vid?
What a world we live in.
Honestly, bless you Pop Culture Detective for talking about this honestly, cause these things are so important to talk about!
I think it's also important to note that these sorts of scenes can also socialize women to believe they are supposed to like these sorts of men or react positively to "take force" kind of men, even if emotionally they don't like it. This is the exact kind of feeling that makes women uncomfortable saying no or afraid of reporting rape. Somewhere inside they believe they are in the wrong for not reacting "correctly."
Lmao, I'm glad someone else has noticed this. I've been harbouring a (perhaps unfounded) vague dislike of Harrison Ford for years, and I'm pretty sure it's all got to do with his roles. I remember being horrified by that scene in Blade Runner. And then when I finally watched Star Wars, I was shocked that Han was the character everyone was obsessed with, because I just found him to be an annoying jackass.
Paracetamol Girl I don't think Harrison ford himself is a bad person, I think it's just bad writers
Tina Loye I don't know anything about Harrison Ford (though what little I've heard of his affair with Carrie makes him sound rather shady), so I guess "dislike" is the wrong word. I don't feel too strongly about him either way, but there's a faint aversion. And I know it's 100% because I've hated every character I've seen him play.
I feel exactly like this about him and really every other guy who gives off the same vibes as the characters he plays. i was in situations like this myself and watching this video was really eye opening but now i'm just sitting here buzzing with flight-or-fight response
Solanuma Yeah, this and the Born Sexy Yesterday video made me rage for about three hours. Both are things I've noticed and despised for ages (see: my decades-long hatred of Fifth Element and Luc Besson, who is a freak), but seeing so many examples archived in one place makes me wanna hurl.
I know exactly what you mean!! I've always hated his films 1) because he plays variations of the same character pretty much always and 2) those characters are predatory jerks. Yet most men idealize him and cite these films as among their favorite. Even more worrisome is all the women who idealize these characters as their ideal man. I think it's important to note these tropes socialize a lot of woman to equate this behavior with romance as well.
It's really shitty that ppl can see those scenes and think they're romantic. As someone who's been in similar situations, that shit is straight up terrifying. Especially when you voice your discomfort and they take it as a green light. It's definitely a huge problem in our society. Awesome video to bring light to this!
That Blade Runner scene made me feel sick. My god. I haven't seen much of the actual movie and that really caught me off guard. How was that approved? I know it was a different time and all (though obviously similar scenes still happen today), but that's just awful. Take away the disgusting "sexy" music and it's just a rape scene.
Why was Harrison Ford always in these roles? I know typecasting exists, but this plus the fact that, as a married 33 year old, he slept with 19 year old Carrie Fisher, has ruined his appeal in my eyes.
That blade runner scene is rapey as fuck and the first time I saw the movie I was like, 'ummm.....'
For a moment, the music during the Blade Runner scene seems to imply that something dangerous and insidious is about to happen, and then suddenly, twinkling piano notes set in. It's jarring.
It's so refreshing to see a man talk about toxic masculinity
I really enjoyed this and your other video on the Born Sexy Yesterday trope. I was wondering if you've read Leigh Brackett's original screenplay for The Empire Strikes Back? The love scenes between Han and Leia are radically different, with much more of an emphasis on consent - disappointing that the work of a woman screenwriter was overridden with this predatory garbage.
Yeah, there are even some deleted scenes floating around online where Leia actually gives consent or at least appears to be more enthusiastic, it's a shame that got cut :/
In one of her books, Carrie talked about how she was drunk at a party and Harrison Ford forced himself on her, so are we really surprised he found no problem in these roles?
Omg I didn’t know that! How awful for Carrie!
I watched bladerunner for the first time recently. When that scene started I was like, "oh shit, he's going to rape her", and then the sax started playing and I was like, "oh right yeah, this movie's from the 80s."
I'm not going lie. Even in the mildest of these scenes, I would not only not speak to that character again, I would feel violated and traumatized. 100% never romantic.
I can't express how nice it is to hear somebody just tell it like it is.
Worth noting is that all of these movies were heavily inspired by and played on tropes of older films. Star Wars and Indiana Jones were inspired by a time where Hollywood portrayed strong women in a response to feminism; but felt the need to tear them down and show that they just wanted to be dominated and needed the right man. Blade Runner is influenced heavily by noir and hard boiled PI stories.
They also build on and challenge these old ideas, and that is a huge part of why they are such fun films.
But then they fail because they do not actually challenge or respond to the sexism, they tend to just carry it over from all the source material unscathed.
Star Wars works a bit better because in the end Leia saves and pursues Han. Not ideal; but it does feel like they did attempt to flip things on their head by the third movie. I think we can probably thank Carrie Fisher for that. They are still movies that you really need to sit down and discuss with your kids what they just saw.
The guys who produced these movies are the same guys who are being caught pressuring and threatening actresses into sex on casting couches, are we really surprised this is the way they view romance?
Off-topic: R.I.P. Carrie Fisher
Would love to see a Pop Culture Detective review of Fifty Shades of Grey. Total predatory romance film. The character Christian Grey has a lot of sociopathic traits, yet women are supposed to swoon over this. That was my takeaway from that film - seemed to be selling sociopathy as something seductive and desirable. Oh and women are supposed to feel bad for Grey because he was an abused child, so everything he does, no matter how controlling, manipulative or damaging is excused.
This is something I particularly admire in the Hulu series "Marvel's Runaways". There are numerous occasions of men specifically asking for consent ("Is this okay?") before engaging in any romantic/sexual behavior with a woman.
thanks for being like? the only Film Bro™ who talks critically abt shit and isnt just like 'ahh yes love those good movies about sexual predatory behavior played off as ideals' your videos are a lot more interesting than a lot of other ppls
With all the various cuts of Blade Runner, it blows my mind that the sexual assault scene wasn't cut out in ANY of the versions of the film. Because here's the thing: it doesn't work with the story Bladerunner is trying to tell.
Bladerunner has a pretty solid theme throughout the movie: "humans don't treat replicants as people, and that is wrong." This scene seems to go along with that theme at first glance, but because of the way it is framed, it actually breaks the film's message. Unlike all the other atrocities Ford's character commits, this one isn't painted as wrong. There are no repercussions for this scene. He does not grow to regret his actions towards her, and they end up together at the end of the film (literally driving into the sunset). Instead of being punished for his behavior, he is rewarded.
If this scene were to work with the movie's overall theme, it needed to be painted as a MAJOR DEAL-BREAKER and a massive flaw, but unlike his other actions, this one goes unexamined, and therefore goes against the greater theme of the story.
Not really relevant, as Deckard is also himself a replicant, so this scene is in fact portraying robot on robot violence.
during high school my friend was sexually abused for months by a guy who was really into the original Star Wars trilogy and acted JUST LIKE Ford in all of these scenes. poor dearie is still doing therapy for his abuse a decade later. scenes like these are very dangerous. edit: a little more context, he actually made my friend watch a lot of these movies with him because he liked them so much and had been rewatching them since he was a kid
that scene from blade runner is actually disgusting and terrifying, i actually felt sick.
...I am disgusted, this is unacceptable, wow. So unacceptable that it's scary and what's worse is that people see things like these as romantic.
You really do amazing work here. Being a man myself, to hear another man so coherently present the problems with society’s perceived ideal male and masculinity is wonderful. I’ve watched as many videos of yours as I could over the past few days and shared them with some people, and one person I shared them with is excited to share parts of your stalking video with the people they educate. Don’t stop these; if enough people hear the messages you’re promoting, a change will happen in society’s views and behavior.
THANK YOU.
Rick in Blade Runner really disturbed me when I watched it for the first time recently. I never saw him as a good person or a hero and it troubled me to see that people saw him as those things. That scene was horrific and the fact that it is framed as sexy or seductive is disgusting, it is so blatantly assault. Thanks for another great video!
He isn't a good person, he isn't even a person. He's a robot.
He isn't supposed to be a hero, more of a flawed anti-hero.
The "sexy" framing is jarring and makes it even more uncomfortable to watch, which is the whole point, I think.
I was debating on whether or not to watch this because, as a woman, I was concerned it would just make me feel more depressed and worried about men. And it did. But I think you said some very important things, especially given the current climate of sexual harassment cases coming out in the news almost weekly. The sad thing is, the one example you gave of a film which portrays consent positively is generally seen to be a "girl's" film; what we need are more examples of positive consent in media targeted at men, so that men learn how consent works.
I don't know how familiar you all are with anime tropes but this is EXACTLY why I hate tsunderes
The Harrison Ford version of this kind of masculinity can be seen being out right copy and pasted onto Chris Pratt's roles of his short film career already and it's doubly strange to see in this age and with an actor that broke out with a character that is very much a rebuff of these traditional masculine norms. Passengers, Jurassic World, Magnificent Seven, even a little in Guardians of the Galaxy. You can see the seams of a poorly fitted Harrison Ford-alike suit on these characters that have no business living in the modern age.
This kind of thing has been going on for decades but I bring up Pratt specifically because his fame has been largely created by his appeal to woman and that appeal is because he's not a traditionally threatening masculine archetype. His approachability and kindness as Parks and Rec's Andy (a role written by a woman I believe) was the large stepping stone for his career so when I see him being written as essentially a Shiny New Harrison Ford in roles that bomb (regardless of the box office I doubt anyone remembers what his characters' name were in any of those movies listed other than Guardians) I find myself shaking my head wondering what the fuck studio execs think people really want from their heroes these days.
Interesting how this kind of depiction works both ways in shaping expectations. It isn't only teaching boys 'how to be men" but also what girls should expect as women. What they should want. Growing up, I've heard both from close friends and acquaintances and countless situations online where women were legitimately frustrated that men weren't pursuing them after telling them no. That the guy didn't intuitively keep guessing or assuming that they wanted it and push anyways. Obviously this only applied to guys they already wanted, other men who tried were quickly put down (and rightfully so, this stuff is awful). And I'm not saying all women do this, or that these women were necessarily to blame or were monsters for their way of thinking, just that this was so ingrained in to /everyone/ from a young age. It's something both men and women need to stop and take a look at, assess all our actions as a whole; grow from it as a society.
Thank you for the end frozen clip, what a breath of fresh after all that revulsion.
the messy thing about this is that you don't have to eliminate somewhat aggressive or dominant behavior in men or coy behavior in women you just need to make it clear that the woman are actually interested and demonstrate that they actually make a choice to be with the man. thanks for putting this together.
I actually like sexual aggression from my boyfriend but we literally sit down and talk about what I mean and what the limits are and what we're both comfortable with and how to put an end to it if things go too far well before anything happens. This sort of aggression outside of a trusting relationship is fucking disturbing.
1st example: I guess maybe...
2nd example: yeah kinda
3rd example: wait what-
4th example: wHAT THE FUCK
Generally a good video, but I have one comment about Blade Runner:
It's been a really long time since I saw it, but was Deckard supposed to be a likable protagonist or "a hero"? I always think of him as a very gray character, maybe even dark gray, and at worst a villain-protagonist. Isn't his storyline that he basically hunts down and kills runaway slaves looking for basic human rights and decent lives?
I am really enjoying this series! I wish people could understand the importance of thinking and being critical of media that they've grown up with and be knowledgeable of the problems embedded within them.
neat
The same problem ruined Bill Murray's character in Ghostbusters for me.
Part of me wonders if Ford realizes the kind of men he is portraying and if he does, if he cares...
"You like the way I do things"
"I'm going to continue to do things the way they should be done"
Really speaks to the leadership role many believe men should have generally. Sexual (violence) is where it's clearest seen.
wow. I finally foubd the reason why I as a woman never liked Ford's movies, whereas my father or my boyfriend really enjoyed them. when i rewatch them they seem absolutely horrifying to me. and i do notice this behavior in real life as well, and I am guilty of this 'no means actually yes' behavior. i think we must teach girls and not only boys about consent, that they can say yes without the boy asking and that their no will be accepted. we can't just blame men for this.
I was raped by a boyfriend 20 years ago. And when I watched Blade Runner a few years ago I felt very uncomfortable about this sexual assault scene.
Reminder that “no” does not mean “convince me”. It means NO. End of sentence.
Props to you man. You opened my mind like my sociology prof. What you are doing is bad-ass and you deserve more views. Keep up the great work!
EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THIS VIDEO!!! I just watched Blader Runner yesterday and ALL I got out of it was how freaking weird and toxic that scene was, ruined the whole thing for me. PLEASE keep making videos like this!!! ps: my heart smiled in that scene of Frozen after wanting to punch something the whole video
I really appreciate you using your male privilege for good. As much as it sucks, one can't deny that most people would unconsciously or consciously be more receptive to a male voice delivering this truth. Thank you for trying to spread knowledge that could save people.
Thank you for making these videos and pointing these things out - because women are rarely listened to when we do the same. Predatory masculinity is one of the scariest things out there for me as a woman but it is everywhere that is culturally deemed as a "place to score" - bars, clubs, dates,... all the places people go to maybe meet someone are especially rife with it.
I just hope more men learn to listen why it isn't ok
3:49 C3PO is the anti-rape hero we need
Yes!! I love him for that!
Bond - propagating sexist and racist stereotypes since '62. Maybe not a coincidence that it's the longest running film franchise of all time...
The lines and actions in these could fit very easily into an episode of Law and Order SVU. Disturbing.
I'm so glad that in my high school film class, we never interpreted that scene in Blade Runner as romantic. My teacher never tried to "play devil's advocate" or tell us otherwise. Everyone in the class was in total agreement that it was sexual assault.
In the novel (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?), Rachel is a different character and she is explicit in her sex offer to Deckard and - SPOILER ALERT - she does it to make him feel bad about thinking of killing her or Prissy since they are the same model.
And now we know the real reason Han & Leia broke up :O
Also, their relationship was always weird in general. Like the "I love you", "I know". I swear that is one of the worst things to call romantic, but it doesn't stop people :(
The persistent advances of Harrison's characters are so domineering and steeped with gaslighting, it's hard not to assume that the female characters only acquiesce in fear for their lives or like this Internet age, fear of shame and humiliation for rejecting a seemingly "nice guy." Which is not romantic and certainly harbors questions of consent.
Rachael was literally crying. That should be an immediate turn off and red flag.
Man, even when I was a kid, Deckard scared the shit out of me in that scene in Blade Runner. Not once in that scene did he seem in love or even lustful, he just seemed angry and bitter. His eyes read nothing but aggression in that scene. Still scares me. Love that movie despite it, however.
It's worse in a lot of old Indian movies where it's way more romanticised and entire segments of music and screen time is dedicated to portraying the hero repeatedly following and harassing the heroine till she finally "falls" for him
Oh gosh, thank you for this! I've been thinking of the Blade Runner and Star Wars scenes a lot in terms of really rapey scenes, and even thought "What is it about Harrison Ford movies?" I think to an extent there's maybe this odd element of Harrison Ford being handsome in an obvious way. You can be a straight man and understand that he's handsome. If he was being genuinely charming and sensitive, I think male audiences might find it annoying, the way they get annoyed with Twilight or boy bands- straight female romantic fantasy and male power fantasy don't quite sync up. How can Han be a cool rogue who gets what he wants and also respect Leia's sexual autonomy? It's also that Leia's rebuffing of him is presented as her highly prioritizing her job and responsibilities, and that's silly, she's a lady!
I think there's also an element of risk, reward, and entitlement. If he's putting himself at risk for these women then clearly they owe him something. He's a cool badass, and they're not! This is what makes it really frightening, because of the framing there's no "Well if she REALLY didn't want it, she could have REALLY told him off and been more assertive! She could have hit him!" they need him because he's their only hope of safety, so they can't piss him off or escape Nevermind that women are taught not to be "rude" and to prioritize other people's feelings even at the expense of their own comfort or security. They're already framed as being foolish, wrong, and emotional, so it's okay for him to be forceful, and if they get hurt trying to get away from him or as a result of turning him down, it was even more proof of how foolish and wrong they were, so they deserved it. I'll occasionally watch something where a man is violent towards a woman he's interested in, and instead of thinking that he's a bad, violent person, I'm left responding the way I think the narrative wants me to, thinking she should have played along more and given him what he wanted, at least until she could get away.
A really bizarre thing is that I'd heard a lot of hype for Blade Runner, and once I saw it I was baffled that no one had thought to mention the rape scene. The most i was was "Wasn't that a rape scene?" "No, because she was a robot" which was really missing the point of the whole film? "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Also I'm a robot and incapable of consent. Beep boop, time to die."
As a woman it's a really upsetting experience, I can count up the nos like you did, I can call back to moments in my own life where I was telling someone "No" and really meant it, but when I try to argue for my view of these scenes I'm told that it was intended to be romantic, it wasn't meant to be upsetting, that I'm taking it too seriously and should just relax.
There's actually an alternate take of the Han/Leia kiss scene where Leia says "Ok, hotshot" and kisses HIM.
This is so important for men to understand, honestly. Because most movies that portray a woman being harassed by a man show it in a very aggressive and obvious manner, and they're often saved by a "good guy". But in real life, most times when women feel most threatened by a man, especially in public, it's situations like this, and they are/feel alone. Times where the guy is implying things that make you uncomfortable, approaching you in a subtlety predatory way, and making you feel trapped. You feel paranoid and aren't sure what to do, and you worry about when you should stand up to him, if at all. If you make a big deal out of it, he can simply say you two were just having a conversation, and it makes you look rude and like you were overreacting, and people call you a feminazi man-hater. If you do nothing, could the situation escalate until it's too late for you to do something? These are the kinds of things women worry about in public, and then if something does happen to them, they get blamed and told they should be more careful. If someone tells you no, even if it's your friend, your significant other, your spouse, it still means no.
Yes. It's terribly confusing to young women who are still naive and inexperienced.
This behavior is shown in movies not as self-centered, objectifying lust, but as part of the love journey. It's terrible in the real world to see that naïveté of a young woman used against her and her dreams dashed. Either the guy uses her and leaves. Or the encounter becomes violent. Either way, it's quite destructive to the woman's psyche.
Wonderful you showed the clip from "Frozen" at the end. A bit of light after all the dark.
This is terrifying. I did not realize before, that domestic vialance is present in so many movies.
When this movie came out did people think that the Bladerunner scene was ok?
I remember being a teenager and getting home to find Blade Runner on the tv my parents were watching. I'd never seen it, but immediately recognized Harrison Ford because, well duh. The 'romance' scene had just started. I had no context on the scene and remember getting really anxious when he stopped the woman from leaving. I thought I was watching a rape scene.
Videos like this really expose toxic tropes, and that it is a man discussing these issues really gives me hope that we can begin to destroy negative gender tropes on both sides of the equation. Love that you go in-depth into the problem.
You think its funny romantic until the assault happens to us. No matter how famous, handsome they are, its incredibly violating.. That pain never goes away.
I knew there was a reason why I liked Luke Skywalker more than Han Solo!
Ah, classic Hollywood. Full of messed up predatory writers who don't understand real human interaction.