Finding Our Way Back: Healing From Self-Betrayal
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- Опубліковано 29 лис 2024
- When we betray ourselves, we abandon our values, needs, or truths to gain approval or avoid discomfort. This leaves us disconnected, fragmented, and unsure of who we really are. These patterns often start in childhood, where conditional love or invalidation teaches us to hide our authentic selves to stay safe or gain acceptance. We see this in our daily lives-staying in unbalanced relationships, ignoring our emotions, overworking, or making choices that don’t align with who we are. We justify it, suppress what we feel, or take on others’ beliefs without realizing how much it costs us. Trauma can make this worse by teaching us to keep our needs small or invisible, while societal norms push us to conform and silence our inner voice. To heal, we need to reconnect with our true selves. That means facing the parts of us we’ve denied, listening to our intuition, setting boundaries, and taking small steps toward living in line with our values. This isn’t easy, but it’s how we find our way back to a life that feels whole, honest, and truly ours.
Prepare to discover what it means to act against your own values and needs; how emotional suppression, societal pressures, and unresolved trauma shape behaviors that disconnect you from your true self; which thought patterns, emotional habits, and external influences drive actions that compromise your integrity; whether internal conflicts and unmet needs can be transformed through self-reflection; why aligning with your authentic self is essential for psychological growth, meaningful relationships, and living a fulfilling life.
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The term self-betrayal seems like a criminal act but small children who end up fragmented from repeated dissociation in order to survive, they are not criminals. And it can take years, and a rare therapist willing to accept multiple dissociation as a fact, a reality, to regain any semblance of coherence let alone a sense of authenticity.
@@elizabethmansfield3609 I think that is a self-preservation, to split at a time when the trauma can not be fully understood. Does Self-betrayal start when Agency has or should have kicked in (with the ability to make independent life choices)? It’s an interesting point that you bring up! Thank you!
This was so apt. I had often felt “self sabotage” didn’t quite go far enough in describing how I feel about some of the actions I’ve taken in the past. A succession of self betrayals between 2020 to 2022 have left me shocked and horrified, indeed, traumatised by my own actions against my values as a father, as a son and as a partner. If I had known my values, standing strong and conscious in them would’ve prevented all of these events from happening. But as was said, it’s only by suffering that we become conscious.
Congratulations on the book! It’s now on my wishlist ❤
I will listen to the podcast again because I still can’t grasp the difference between self betrayal and self sabotage.
Deb was on FIRE 🔥 in this one. Very helpful. Very inspiring.
This is what I’ve been going through but wasn’t able to see it. I am complicit in so many ways due to fear of being exiled.
Saving this to listen to again
We all have an appoint-ment with ourselves and most of us never show up for it -James Hollis
I really appreciate all of your insights
Stunning. 🙏🏼
This was so fascinating to listen to and immediately applicable to my personal life. 🙏 I also enjoyed how you incorporated The Master & His Emissary into your discussion as I have found Iain McGilchrist’s work to be transformative.
Lisa looks SO good.
Thank you for the video.
In the lion king.
Simba loses his identity and values in his endeavours with Timon and pumba ,only for rafiki to return him to his true essence,a King.
His indulgence set him apart from responsibility(Response ability)
...before watching this, my first thought has to do with the relinquishing of 'that' and choosing 'this'...and already there's 'lumper' and 'splitter' and the distinctions made between self-sabotage and self-betrayal. Nice... Now on to the blame game and the essentials of self-reliance...on Thanksgiving morning...
I think of Jimmy Stewart's character in "It's a Wonderful Life" who gives up his dream of travel and adventure to form a family with Donna Reed. He betrays himself but is portrayed as a hero for doing it, in the name of family and responsibility. But to me he is a tragic figure.