Conquering my academic demon
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- Quantum field theory defeated me in my masters. Can I vanquish my demon this time?
See extra content and support me as a creator by signing up for Nebula (link updated March 2023): go.nebula.tv/simonclark
This video is about me trying to learn quantum field theory (QFT) but really it's about what I learned about learning. Over the course of three months I came to terms with a traumatic mental health experience before my PhD, developed my knowledge of physics, and came to a whole new appreciation of being a student. I even had some help direct from a graduate student in quantum field theory at the University of Oxford! This is a very personal video, and in a way one I made for me, but I still hope you enjoy it :)
QFT resources! Here are a variety of lecture notes I used:
- Quantum Field Theory for the Gifted Amateur indico.cern.ch/event/957763/c...
- Oxford QFT notes: www-thphys.physics.ox.ac.uk/p...
- Cambridge notes (canonical quantisation): www.damtp.cam.ac.uk/user/tong...
Note that there are also some
For a fantastic visualisation of QFT (that Thomas also helped out with) check out this phenomenal video from ScienceCLIC: • Quantum Field Theory v...
This video is a sequel of sorts to my Day in the Life of an Oxford Physics Student video, where I filmed my fourth year at Oxford: • A day in the life of a... (I filmed this in movember, pls don't judge)
Support the channel by becoming a patron at / simonoxfphys
Check out my website! www.simonoxfphys.com/
--------- II ---------
My twitter - / simonoxfphys
My facebook - / youtubesimon
My insta - / simonoxfphys
My goodreads - / simonoxfphys
--------- II ---------
Music by Epidemic Sound: epidemicsound.com
Huge thanks to my supporters on Patreon: Ashley Wilkins, Michael Parmenter, Samuel Baumgartner, ST0RMW1NG 1, Jan Galkowski, Adrian Sand, Morten Engsvang, Josh Schiager, Farsight101, Liam Margetts, K.L, poundedjam, Alanah Mack, Felix Freiberger, Robert Connell, Jaime Stark, Kolbrandr, , Sebastain Graf, Dan Nelson, Shane O'Brien, Alex, Fujia Li, Harry Eakins, Andrew Young, Cody VanZandt, Jesper Koed, Jonathan Craske, Albrecht Striffler, hennersfl, Jon Sjöberg, Igor Francetic, Jack Troup, SexyCaveman , James Munro, Oskar Hellström, Sean Richards, Kedar , Omar Miranda, Alastair Fortune, bitreign33 , Mat Allen, Anne Smith, Colin J. Brown, Princess Andromeda, Aron Kári Ágústsson, Leighton Mackenzie, BenDent , Thusto , Andy Hartley, Lachlan Woods, Tim Boxall, Dan Hanvey, Simon Donkers, Kodzo , James Bridges, Liam , Andrea De Mezzo, Wendover Productions, Kendra Johnson. - Наука та технологія
In a way, it's a shame we have to have exams. I remember all through university this weighty pressure of the upcoming exams looming over me which is very stifling for the growth mindset because I felt I had to not just understand things, but understand them now! Thanks for sharing your journey through this Simon, can relate :)
Exams are actually one of the best way of learning imo :)
But in the judging context they can be quite stressful
have you seen any images of Quantum field(example:photon-field,up-quark field) if so then plzz send me one ,i have been searching for it for months and still not able to find it ,the closest thing i got is this video @1:30 ua-cam.com/video/1qJ0o4U63aw/v-deo.html. There is an image it is called as Gluon-field(which is one of quantum field) other than that i am not able to find any other image(simulated or animated) image of quantum field,if you have one plzz send it
you don't have to have exams if you do a PhD in the UK at least lol
@@rafakowalewski8336 not everybody learns best with exams, and if you don't you're kinda screwed
@@cantcommute Every paper we submit is an exam :)
The worst thing about university is that you sometimes feel like you pass the exams without understanding what's the true esence of the subjects you're studying...
The deep understanding, if It ever arrives, comes when you have time to read, investigate... by yourself.
And Simon is the living prove of it
Not to mention that you also sometimes feel like you fail the exams despite understanding what you think is a good amount of the subject.
6:58 "_Really_ missed some very obvious signs". That's because it's not Physics. One just does not see.
Taking this as inspiration to conquer the physics topics I always struggled with
Classic mechanics...
have you seen any images of Quantum field(example:photon-field,up-quark field) if so then plzz send me one ,i have been searching for it for months and still not able to find it ,the closest thing i got is this video @1:30 ua-cam.com/video/1qJ0o4U63aw/v-deo.html. There is an image it is called as Gluon-field(which is one of quantum field) other than that i am not able to find any other image(simulated or animated) image of quantum field,if you have one plzz send it
Why doesn’t Parth G have a checkmark?
Huge fan by the way Parth, I love the videos you make. I absolutely love physics.
Path gonna be crash dow be make sense of The dirac Equation
I wish students in every major would take seriously the importance of reviewing the material they haven’t been grasping.
"My brain wasn't just accepting this information."
This is my favourite quote from now on for college learning.
I was crushed by a QFT course I took in grad school as well!! Every so often I think about revisiting it, but have never made the time.
Funny since you research vertex algebras (iirc) :)
@@Daniel-ih4zh I know right. My knowledge of the exact relation between VOAs and physics is a bit embarrassing. If anyone out there in physics youtube wants to make a video together, apart from general questions I have some very specific ones:
1. I wrote a paper about permutation orbifolds that ended up in the Journal of Mathematical Physics. What are orbifolds of VOAs supposedly describing physically.
2. I heard a physicist say that "Physicists are most interested in Affine VOAs (WZW models) at integral or admissible level". Why? What makes non-admissible level VOAs not physically interesting.
3. A big thing now is to carefully prove old physics conjectures about so-called W-algebras. Why are W-algebras physically interesting.
Anyway, I could go on and on.... If anyone is out there in the void!!
I am in a different field but it always annoyed me that I can't remember the critic components of alot of math. So decided to do some math for 4 weeks in the summer 2h a day. Hopefully it will just help me reorganize things in my mind.
@@MichaelPennMath Sounds like the kinds of questions that John Baez might know some of the answers to? Or at least know who to point you in the direction of for answers! (I used to be a regular reader of his “This Weeks Finds in Mathematical Physics” but my physics is pretty lapsed these days.)
@@MichaelPennMath the obvious answer to (2) is: "Renormalizability"
congratz
Flammy
Hi daddy flamy
Papa flammy
Papa flam
Quantum field theory is something I have always felt guilty about not understanding well, and I’ve been wanting to go back and learn it properly for many of the same reasons you mentioned. Thanks for making that point about mindset when learning, and just being nicer to yourself about not understanding something yet.
glad to know that the people we all look up to are just like us! you guys are truly inspiring!
I really recomend drinking some good black tea during studying amazing energy and no crash.
Thank you Simon, this is exactly what I needed to hear. As a current 5th year PhD student studying 2D semiconductor physics, there are so many days where I feel like I don't understand the fundamentals or wish I did better in a subject that I have learned years before. This is motivating me to give some of my challenging subjects a new shot with a more optimistic viewpoint and try to commit to a more manageable timeframe!
Great work as always!
It's such a relief to know that I am not the only physics grad student who feels this way. I am a 3rd year PhD student working on 2D materials and I often worry that I am missing some fundamental knowledge that is going to keep me from being able to succeed at my research.
@@brady1123 more than anything else, my PhD has excelled at making me feel stupid.
5th year PhD student here, too. Thanks for the motivation to revisit fundamental concepts!
If you don’t understand then if nothing else, you’re in good company. Feynman didn’t as well. Hence the shut up and calculate motto. Cheers.
Don't worry guys, I've known plenty of people with a lesser grasp of physics than I have, and they have far more successful careers. Not everyone can be a rock star, there is plenty of room of solid sessions players.
8:17 11:56 This hit home very hard for me.
I'm an Italian math student, finally finishing my Master degree with ABYSMAL delay. Been in and out of burnout for three years straight by now, and I really can't help but seeing myself in the same exact position as you described yourself in some of your videos.
I always wanted to pursue a PhD and an academic career, but I think the moment has come for me to finally tackle my mental health issues, maybe take a gap year, and set my priorities straight.
I think that your videos had a HUGE (positive) impact on me, and I'll be forever grateful for this. Thank you Simon, sincerely.
Studying a master degree in maths is already such a great achievement that you can be proud of! There's nothing more important than a peaceful mind, I hope you have self-compassion and get better soon!🌸♥️
I won the university medal for my studies in theoretical physics. The only time I was brought to tears was walking into my supervisor’s office and admitting I couldn’t get QFT. He graciously changed my thesis topic to Schrödinger.
28 years later my own daughter’s supervisor had that very same office.
Did you go to Tcd?
"He graciously changed my thesis topic to Schrödinger." Excuse me for asking, but what do you mean? That you had a thesis on only pure (nonrelativistic) QM without QFT? If so, what topic? I am simply interested, don't take this invasjon personal :).
I studied Physics and Maths at UCL and I struggled with mental health immensely for a long time (even before I started studying at university). It's a really great idea to go back and make this video and I know how it can be a really dark and awful period. One of the worst things about mental health is that you really internalize the negative filter, you funnel all of your daily life through. In my situation even after graduating with a 1st. I still felt disappointed and that should've been a red flag as to how bad it was. But, it really does get better.
As someone who had improperly managed ADHD and mental health issues that led me to drop out 7 years ago, it took me failing classes during a pandemic to finally learn self compassion. But I'm finally doing the things I've been wanting passing classes even while working. It turns out self compassion was the pre-requisite I needed to allow myself to explore unique and strange studying habits that actually work for me.
It's weird, but charles bukowski keeps coming to my mind lately- "Don't Try."
Setting a timer for 4 years to see how I'm doing in Law School.
@@NinjaAgnostic I'm glad to hear things have improved.
I just want to say congratulations, it seems like you're doing better with accepting your achievements for what they are but I thought you deserved to hear that.
Also I'm a first year at ucl doing physics and if it's not too personal could you tell me what you're working as now, if you are working as now. If you got your job through an internship. Idk I'm just interested in what I could possibly go into a couple years from now
@@temiolu3049 Thanks and best of luck with your degree.
I'm a graduate student but if you need help with career-related stuff, UCL careers is very good. They should have sent out emails to every student.
@@andrewwells6323 thank you, I'll be sure to check it out
I love that you're still drinking Coke while studying, it reminds me of the Coke mountain that you cleaned up at the end of your PhD. You really need to get a sponsorship from them! Also, I haven't commented on one of your videos in a while, but I wanted to say that I starting watching your videos when I was applying to PhDs a few years ago and I watched all the way through your coding struggles which mirrored my own. Anyway, I'm pleased to say that also like you I came out unscathed, and as of February 2021, am a doctor in cosmology :) Thanks for everything, Simon, you have inspired me so much :)
I've heard writing goes faster if you consume Coke nasally vs orally.
@@TheDeltaboss I’ve had good results with anally :)
I was told by some nutritionist lecturer that diet coke is neurotoxic.
It also creates a horrible allergy where I keep swallowing snot.
The company also organizes lectures to humiliate and abuse European employees for their race.
I get it but Christiano Ronaldo is right. Stay away from that garbage.
Optics was always my demon in undergrad - the only class I ever failed! I’m now halfway through a PhD in imaging optics in my effort’s to truly conquer it
This video has really inspired me to tackle my nemisis of Functional analysis from my third year! Like you, my mental health was through the floor, I just wasn't in the right mental space to take on this sort of knowledge. Now that I have started my PhD, and looking back at old notes, I feel that I am now in a position to tackle this again! Thank you for the inspiration Simon!
This is such a treasure, I have a brilliant friend in mathematics who has been feeling down in a rut and I'll point her to this!
I had Zee as a professor, and man, it was quite an experience. This has actually inspired me to go through some of my old notes/books and look at things outside of the lens of having exams and a time crunch. I love how so many of us are unified over this video and QFT haha
i loled so hard at 7:00 “i missed some obvious signs”
Man, I wish I had the time to start conquering my own Everest after University. It's totally different to study those difficult subjects at your own pace without the pressure of deadlines, projects and exams.
Great inspirational video AGAIN!
“I really missed some very obvious signs” I really felt that
I love this video! As an astrophysics student it happens too often that I make notes, consume knowledge, make an exam and in the end do not at all remember or understand anything I did in the course (even if I passed the exam, which I almost always do with a minimal score), even when afterwards it was fun and interesting. This is a difficult hurdle to get over but really worth the effort.
It is crazy how much your videos motivate me to study and learn. It's especially crazy considering the first 22 years of my life I despised school and reading, but I am glad I found a new appreciation for it. I'll definitely be tuning into those streams where you just work when my next grad school classes start. Thanks for your content!
That moment around 8:30. I'm still tearing up thinking about it and my similar years in my PhD.
Man. Those times.
I can recommend the QFT book by Peskin & Schroeder ("An Introduction to Quantum Field Theory"). The exercises at the end of each chapter have a very nice flow.
I did some quantum computing theory for my undergrad... I couldn't get past the first chapter, but basically what I remember is one of the main takeaways is "you cannie break the laws of physics"!
I'm predicting the Webb will discover 'dark orbs' which interact by a *strong* gravitational interaction with the dark matter cores of heavenly bodies. That's 'breaking the "laws" of physics'.
Funny to see this as I'm really struggling with my Quantum Information course right now haha
Wow! This was really helpful.
I'm about to end my first year of undergrad in natural sciences (which was entirely online, I'm from India) and am struggling with self doubt like you described you had in your 4th year.
The video tells me to take a deep breath, appreciate the situation and get back at it.
Thanks!
Hey bro Indian here tooo.
Which college.
IISC
IISER
NISER
CEBS....
@@mohithmaruvada473 IISER P
I didnt understand any of the physics you talked about, but I agree, the mindset is soo important! Too many struggle with this! Thank you, I really needed this!
I love this so much. It's so rare to see someone just enjoy an intellectual challenge on platforms like youtube! I think seeing someone else doing it makes it feel more doable for yourself. Thanks for making this vid :)
6:53
An absolute classic!
I'm just a freshman in physics but I will definitely rewatch this in my senior year.
Thank you for sharing with us.
I also struggled immensely with QFT during my PhD and it's still a bookshelf demon for me. Thank you for sharing this experience -- I think this a lesson in self-compassion that we all can benefit from. 😌
I am loving reading through the comments - it's so reassuring to see so many of us who can relate with the feelings expressed in this video and, as someone with imposter syndrome (as is common in academia), this is really needed to be openly spoken about as well as how one can healthily confront their past struggles, thank you !
Thank you very much for you video ! I'm starting right now a master project in QFT, but I find the subject so hard that I procrastinate a lot to start studying... Listening to you saying that this moment of my life is so valuable because I can spend all the day improving my understanding of this fascinating subject, totally changed my perspective ! I will stop complaining about the difficulty and just embrace the complexity of the subject, tacking the time it needs in order to progress :)
The video moved and touched me. Thank you Simon for doing this. SC is SC. What a bliss it is to truly understand something without the fear, the gut-wrenching anxiety of exams each three or four months at the end of each semester. Even this period in b/w (atleast for me) is criss crossed by pointless quizes and assignments which only test for how well a student can solve 10 traditional problem sets (hidden well behind the cloak of "importance of application") from the back of the book in 30 mins without giving a care about whether the student actually understood the stuff. This blind rampant emphasis on just moving on to solving numerical problems has crushed out the last ounce of love for physics that I thought would be uncrushable before starting my undergrad. And the harm it has done because i still strive to spending time on understanding stuff rather than just moving on to practicing 100 problem sets and since the exams only test for problem-solving it is thus biased against me resulting in me getting such low gpa. I don't see a way out of this and perhaps this would devour me in the end. Can't do anything but take out my frustration here. Thank you again SC. Also was wondering if studying QM and such theoretical physics directly from the primary sources might be more helpful given, as i've found out atleast, how tacitly and vaguely things are explained in standard undergrad curriculum textbooks. Please if anyone can chime in on this it'd be really helpful.
Articulation: by "primary sources" i mean the papers themselves or the books written by ppl who first propounded the subject like dirac's book shown in the vid.
Currently retaking a level biology after struggling massively with my mental health all throughout school to try to get into med school. It’s so easy to be hard on yourself when you just mentally aren’t in a good enough place. It gets frustrating knowing that you could do sooo well because you don’t lack the knowledge or ability, but just the mental energy to do what you can 100% do.
I have no real clue what you're talking about, but I'm still loving every second of it!
I specialised in nanophysics, namely optical structures and soft condensed matter, when studying Physics. I recently went through and re-familiarised myself with the underlying maths behind SCM theory, as well as some stuff on semiconductors, as I found they're still topics I love telling people about, and it felt slightly disingenuous when talking to more scientifically/mathematically adept people, that I couldn't formally demonstrate what I was talking about. Amazing how much easier it comes to me now as a Physicist than it did as a Physics student!
Almost chocked on my pasta from the “next slide, please”
Thanks for sharing the journey!
This video came in good time. I've been struggling with a couple courses I've been self-studying and have just started my Quantum Physics course, all while believing the reason for my failure was due to my lack of intellect.
Thanks to this, I now understand what it is I must do to better myself. Thank you so much for posting this video!
Great job on this video, Simon.
It was a great watch! Thanks for sharing your journey.
Haha Simon is just another nerd who missed the obvious signs of a girl with a crush on him
We all have been there
Great video, valuable insights
I don't normally leave comments but I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed watching this.
You spoke about how your mathematical ability has declined but your ability to understand conceptually had improved. This was great to hear as someone who is experiencing the same phenomenon. I'm studying once again, 5 years after I left university, and this is exactly how I feel.
The concepts seem so much clearer now than they ever did, even if I'm having to relearn all the intricate mathematics.
Thanks for sharing!
This is weirdly motivating. Thanks for sharing your story!
Really great and honest video. Thank you for sharing :)
Great video! Keep spreading academic inspiration across this platform -love your work!
This was very moving - I’ve really enjoyed seeing your journey over the years. Thank you for taking us with you
Simon u r my inspiration! Whenver I feel low I just watch ur videos.
I have been watching you since you first started making videos. Thank you so much for the helpful and inspiring content
It was so inspirational. Thank you.
Loved the end of this video. Contrasting the two mindsets. I've subscribed
Such an excellent video!! The way you described learning really resonated with me and it’s probably the main reason why I’m a teacher.
Definitely going to spend some of my summer this year revisiting topics across science to help my teaching practice.
I love your study videos with direct references to the subject matter. Look forward more inspiring videos like this !!! :)
Simon! HUGE thank you for you for motivating me for 8 years through my high school studies and in my university studies as well! Thank you for making your content, your passion for learning is contagious!! Keep doing what you love!!
Thank you, really appreciate this video😊
Fantastic insights into learning, a great video!
This is a fab video, QFT also took me down in my masters and I'm feeling like I can have another go at this subject now :)
Thank you for recommending notion! I just transferred all my notes over, since I really like using the program.
A wonderful video. It's so lovely seeing someone express how they love learning (and the actual act of studying). I always felt kind of weird saying how much I missed it about my years at university. I feel like getting my head stuck into some real problems now lol. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for sharing your experience!
That's such an inspiring video!
We all have our nemesis with what we study. Your fresh perspective on your struggles has helped me and I think this video could be helpful and inspiring to all students regardless of the subject they are studying. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Great video, Simon. It has actually inspired me to go back and take on digital signal processing, a subject that for whatever reason (most likely mental health) my brain just outright refussed to learn or understand.
Fascinating to hear your personal story with QFT. great video
I really desperately needed this video, I really struggle with not getting down on myself when I don’t understand something in physics , and your message about self compassion really resonated with me. I feel confident that I can be a little nicer to myself in the future , and enjoy learning for the sake of learning - that sensation of feeling your brain making those new connections on a difficult topic really is amazing and worth the effort.
This is a really useful video. Thank you.
Simon, I´ve been living this kind of situation in my life. I was a good student in my uni years, but I didn´t believe I was not good enough. This video helped me alot. Thank you!
this was unexpectedly captivating, I just wanted to take a quick look, but watched the whole thing, thank you for sharing with us!
Wow! I feel the same way about some math classes I took during undergrad: intro to proofs, group theory, and real analysis. I never felt comfortable with proofs, and that led me to failure in group theory and analysis. But seeing you tackle QFT had helped given me renewed motivation to relearn those subjects until I'm satisfied. Thanks Simon!
Valuable piece of VIDEO!!! priceless
Hi Simon, thanks for this absolute gem! I'm a long time follower of the channel
Amazing video Simon, and thankyou for sharing.
I had QFT and GR this year (7th sem of my undergrad) and got hit by covid in exam week. I wasn't doing well with my mental health as it was.
I did horribly, it was an absolute nightmare. The stuff I knew, also won't make any sense on the day.
I also plan on revisiting the material and doing better in both. This video helped a lot on clarifying and organizing my thoughts about the whole experience and also motivating me to get on with it now that I have time on my hand.
Honestly Simon, every time you bring out a video you always inspire me to learn more.
This video is like a wake up call for me. I think I'll put some effort into a very similar project soon. Seeing you grapple with this "over the course of ... 9 years now??" is extremely motivating.
Good on you for making this video, I think the positive example you set here will help many people who emulate this forwards focused attitude.
This is a well-timed video.
I'm in the middle of reading through QFT in a nutshell in preparation for my QFT course next semester.
Personally, I really liked Zee's Group theory book as well and have been having a really good time with the QFT one.
Great video, i'd love to learn more about the way you learn. for example the way you take notes :)
Thank you for sharing this!
On the one hand, I feel like I still sometimes struggle with being compassionate with myself for not doing well at something. On the other hand, I don't think I've ever put nearly as much work into notes or anything when studying something, so I feel like calling myself lazy is kind of adequate.
Really enjoyed this, thanks. A lot of this rung true for my experience doing physics at uni as well (not that I stuck around for 4th year) - tempted to get myself a copy of Shankar's Principles of QM and try and take that one down again!
My one-year course in QFT taught me a very important aspect of hard problems/subjects in Physics: In order to start grasping the subject, you must look at it from many different angles. I think the set of references (to name a few) which I used during my path speaks for itself: Peskin, Zee, Pokorski, Schwartz, Weinberg, Coleman, Byckling, Ramond, Sredinicki, Moyses, Kaku, Tong, Greiner, and Itzykson.
Some of them, I used for a single calculation or technique that I needed to understand, but certainly all of them contributed to the tiny knowledge I now have of this amazing field.
Fantastic video Simon!
This is a really cool video. It helped me to put some of my own failures at University into perspective.
I found learning QFT from the condensed matter perspective helped me a lot when I went to learn QFT for particle physics; learning the conceptual stuff for things you can easily measure helped with the intuition
Thank you for this video. I didn't understand most of it from the QFT stand-point, but as always you made it sound interesting and I still got to learn something new, even a little bit.
As for fighting your demons, I find your story relatable. I wish I could tell my younger self back in university that personal growth and subject maturatiy happens over time, and to put my ego aside.
I had to take a break halfway through- whilst i’m not a physics student- or very good at being academic- this fascinates me. I also want to make sure this labour of love of yours has the live it deserves in return!
This made me oddly nostalgic for my own university days. Well done!
Great video, Simon!
What a wonderful conclusion- self compassion! So important.
Terrific video. I’m jealous of people who understand this kind of thing. About a tire of the way three my brain shorted out and I got the blue screen of death error. Keep setting a high bar for the youngsters.
Hi Simon, your story about QFT reminds me of my time in my masters program at Rice University (computational and applied math) and your reaction to your old notes was particularly jarring for me. My topic was advanced numerical algebra. I can’t agree enough with your observation that finishing your PhD changes how you conceptually link things. I ended up learning the subject matter taught in my masters course within about a month after deciding to do exactly what you decided with QFT, respectively. Thanks for the video!
Your love for learning is 🔥
Learning QFT in my master right now. I can totally relate to what you are saying. Wish me luck.
trying to get a proper grasp of QM now I'm doing my PhD, was always something I struggled with during UG. Thanks for the inspiration!
Wow I have had a very similar experience around QFT. I still want to learn it even tho I have very little use for it in my current research. But it does haunt me. This video is a reassuring and motivating.
I had a very similar experience at Cambridge, the QFT course crushed me at the time. I hope to do what you have done and come back to it sometime!
Amazing video as always Simon! True inspiration to physicists eveywhere!
PLEASE show us how your Notion page if possible!!!
I loved every bit of it! And I see myself there soemday 😊
Dude, I have no idea why you like these things but I really like you talking about it lol. Been following you for a long while and you are the best, good job!