The most Ni thing INFJs and INTJs do
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
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I am an INTJ. I could relate towards what you say.
I remember one sensor saying to me that I would keep getting distracted and go off-topic. I didn't knew what he was talking about. I just followed my train of thought, but he didn't see the connection I attempted to make.
Ignore the sensors. They’re misinformed, obviously.
It’s true. The so-called ramblings and ravings of ours actually do make sense to us and anyone who might actually make the effort to understand them. If you’re willing to listen long enough you just might learn something.
This is definitely relatable. I have noticed that I tend to do this almost without thinking when in conversations with friends and family
As a non INFJ, this is so helpful Ren, thank you! A few things have clicked into place for me to understand what was going on within conversations I’ve had with INFJs that left me feeling bewildered. Often times I have ended up feeling guilty for turning cold or detached, suddenly losing my characteristic warmth and inviting demeanor because I felt like I wasn’t really being listened to or heard. This insight helps to know I need not take it so personally, which can be really difficult in romantic relationships, especially. My only suggestion for INFJs would be to give a brief acknowledgment of what the other person has said before sharing your contribution. It can go a long way to provide validation and show you’re participating with someone rather than appearing to be a one-man show.
Nice analogy with the spiral for Ni. I like it better than “the long and winding road” I had previously envisioned. lol. (I also envisioned a toothpaste tube. 😂) I actually think it is the Ni + Ti that creates a long flowing string of thought. It is much more marathon-like than Ne, which tends to be more sprint-like. Though, Ne with Ti can also have long-winded kind of responses when the Ti reasoning actually pops up.
In Lenore Thomson’s book, she contrasts Ne-Dom vs Ni-Dom when they are interested in an idea. The Ne Dom wants to strike while the iron is hot and discuss and get feedback regarding ideas, ASAP. An Ni-Dom when most struck by an idea will have the opposite approach and will want to retreat to contemplate on their own. As an Ne-aux, when I get excited about an idea and want to talk about it, discussing back-and-forth, I can sometimes be left with what I call Ne-Blue Balls, when the other does not quickly engage. With an INFJ, sometimes you don’t know when, or even if, they will get back to you when discussing a topic. 😂 (Maybe the Ne+ Te point of view is that of discussing a topic back-and-forth, while the Ni + Ti is that of Presenting a topic? One that can actually be examined extensively)
So spot on. This can be tricky if you're in a leadership role, like working with a non profit board of directors. There's a tension between transparency with your thought process and clear communication with others. If you are also trying to hold Fe at arms' length long enough to self differentiate and own/share your assessment amidst diverse views (and people who want faster closure)... well, it's a pressure cooker. One's motives can be easily misunderstood.
Spot on with this. I feel like I can’t make a judgment call on anything without context. Problem is that when you see absolutely everything as connected (I’m assuming this is Ni at work) it’s all context. The trick is determining how many degrees of separation you can expand out from the core idea before you lose the ability to make a practical decision. Or at least practically express an idea to another person.
The frustration is exactly that... and it causes a reaction from others that is quite uncomfortable. I'm just trying to keep the peace by sharing something and then all of a sudden the other person is fuming. I'd say through expanding our understanding while sharing it with others we can appear vague and broad... but actually it's a holistic all-encompassing understanding of things. Give us enough time, people... we'll get there.
i know what you mean, some people think you're trying to steal their thunder when you try following up with your insights on a topic they brought up. i've also had friends literally just look away from me and start a new conversation with someone else in the group right in the middle of me speaking, even though I was responding to them. it's so awkward because others were also listening to my response and suddenly this person turns to them and starts a new conversation. in those situations i end up being the one fuming and walking the fuck away lmao.
Often times by simply acknowledging what the other person has said before sharing your contribution, you can circumvent this reaction. Without acknowledgment or validation, it can seem like you weren’t wholly listening and just waiting for your turn to speak. Whether it’s only projection from the other person or not, if you wanna keep the peace this could go along way to help. Cheers, from an INFP 😊
Great video. I seem to remember you used to liken it to a spiders web.
I run into this. Sometimes i like to explain how i came to a conclusion or point, but it can seem like im rambling. Yet if i simply answer my point, it wont be understood or they will not follow lol.
Lol, this is true. It’s not completely random and off topic, but it seems like that to others.
It is actually the very opposite than random. It is trying to deal with the bigger theme of the topic, and figure out what else fit in that explaination or in the same picture.
We think in whole picture
Guilty as charged! Brilliant noticing here Ren🙂🙂
It's about context for me. You always needs to place things into context to understand the meaning of it and for that you need to zoom out and look in a wider perspective and then zoom in again. This also gives the listener an understanding on where I come from and where I'm heading, the train of thought.
As a non infj, I’m also big on context. To some extent everything is situational. I enjoy moving away from, circling, and coming back to any given topic in conversation. If both parties are able to follow the path each other are traversing by acknowledging the other along the way, everything seems to work out and it’s a lot of fun. I’ve gotten frustrated when an INFJ seemingly is responding to something I’ve been sharing, but does exactly what Ren is talking about here and so I haven’t known whether I was actually being heard or not. I can end up feeling like I’m expected to be merely an audience with cue cards and not a contributing participant.
Haha. I just laughed because it's true. I feel attacked.
this might just be my most relatable video yet. spot on
It’s a skill to measure out the ‘data steam’ for the best opportunity for ‘clean understanding’ by other. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. It’s a skill journey and one’s empathy can assist in the measuring out for the listener(s)
The Rambling is so true. I like to ramble alot but I often feel stupid when people try to put me back to reality. Another reason why I love to write in the stream of consciousness is because I can "ramble" on my writings and find a flow to it.
I also tend to talk/ramble to myself but I think that's a "me thing" and not an INFJ thing.
I may do this when explaining things to my students, I’m going to have to pay more attention to myself. I think I only do this when I talk about things I care about.
I do this all the time...I even coined it "circling back" before I saw this video lol but often never go fully get back to it because its branched off onto something else which is abstractly related then deep dove into.
It reminds me of astrology. Imagine this situation:
Question: "Is it profitable to sell my house right now?"
Ni answer: "When the Moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars..."
Se answer: "It is. Do it. Now!"
Ni? That sounds more like an Ne/Si response. Ni is not so data-minded... meaning we don't just regurgitate something you can read in a book or an astrology reading.
😂😂
@@grumpyschnauzer How is that regurgitating? You can say astrology itself is invalid nonsense, but the process of interpreting a birth chart that has a very large number of often contradicting factors, trying to figure out how all those pieces come together in light of each other and create the big picture, and then trying to figure out how the current planets movement should be interpreted in relation to the birth chart is a very complex and individual process. If you compare a personal consultation with an astrologer to the kind of result you get from an online script (which does exactly what you said) you'll see the huge difference. Not that I recommend consulting an astrologer.
And what does it have to do with Ne? I'm INFP (Ne auxiliary and Si tertiary) and I guarantee you Ne doesn't work like that. Ne doesn't just read pieces here and there and then parrots them. Intuition by its nature seeks the patterns and the big picture, the meaning and the essence.
I've never seen this happen. But then again, nothing is off topic for me
😂 “ nothing is off topic for me.” I think my Ne side felt a jolt of happiness from that line. Green light! Go! It’s all somehow related!😅
Yes, that's very much what my thought process (Ni?) is like: A spiral that ends in a point. For instance, I notice that sometimes when I'm trying to quickly write a concise comment to a social media post, I'll go through several "drafts" or paragraphs where the first one is my raw idea, written rather verbosely. I'll then reread it and see that i missed something, and clarify by writing a second, slightly more concise paragraph, only to review it and see how i could refine it even more. (I then delete the verbose paragraphs and keep only the concise one.) Oftentimes i realize i couldn't have gotten to the most concise paragraph without first having gone through the thought process of producing the previous, more verbose paragraphs, because it was all a process of honing or refining what my initial impression even was, which prompted me to write.
Sometimes I spend 30 mins writing a comment (i'm ashamed to admit), even though all that comes out is a few lines lol. and the reason i feel so impelled to write a concise reply is because ain't nobody got time to read allat
I do the same thing and the end result is usually concisely accurate. Then for whatever reason, YT will delete it which is just awesome.
I can take many hours writing a comment, especially a short one ☺️. And in the end I don't even publish it.
@@Meenaia I write it in the notes app first in case something like that happens. It's bad enough that I waste so much time writing a comment nobody cares about anyway rather that doing something useful. If then it also disappears after I click 'publish' it's just too much injustice and guilty conscious to bear 😢
@@paxaamericana sometimes the writing is the thinking, to help you get clarity for yourself. no need to publish in that case ;)
Yup. Done that. Comically on occasion. My Ni sometimes spews all of it's connectivity out as one, long stream-of-consciousness process. And on occasion I've forgotten where I was heading with my conclusion - thus the comedy.
This is why I like writing my ideas lol- makes it 1000x shorter
I just started an academic program and am struggling with this aspect of myself when it comes to simple writing assignments. I always write way too much in order to get my thoughts out properly, and it takes way too much time. Anyone have tips that I could use as an INFJ?
I did this exact thing this morning. Brought in so many other topics and concepts in response to a one-sentence text…
😆
Question: Are there any specific conversation styles that INFJs have… Any general tips for conversation? I am wondering how to make an INFJ feel happy and satisfied within a conversation. I tend to worry that my massive amounts of Ne-vomit, overly dominates conversations… though perhaps questions I ask help offset that?
Ne is not a problem for me. I like it very much. And I have not a small capacity for it.
Si doesn't really matter to me. And Te is a weakness.
Se I can handle very well for short periods but my stamina in it is sooooo low. It is what exhaust me.
Talk about practical details of concrete practical stuff and I get tired and overwhelmed.
But Ne? Hehe. That I can follow, yet I don't know the personal references behind it, It is easilly digestible. It is mostly cute or inspiring. or at least meaningful. Plus we love seeing others happy being into stuff that genuinely speak to them
This!
❤
This sounds like Mika from Girls und Panzer, so it can definitely be an INTJ thing too.
No we are perfect ❤ (INFJ)
Guilty as charged! Brilliant noticing here Ren🙂🙂