It’s one thing to correct someone on their dance posture, movements, and overall performance. It’s picking on someone for their looks and weight that is downright awful. I’ve seen perfectly skinny girls get told “put your skirt back on, we can see your lunch” and the looks on the girls face is heart breaking.
As a dancer aiming to go professional, it’s scary. I’ve had my fair share of teachers who exhibited toxic behaviors and I’d feel like the overly sensitive one for getting upset whenever I’d be singled out or humiliated. Having corrections be given to you is one thing, but being made to feel stupid for making mistakes is another. Some of the treatment wasn’t intentional but the mental toll it put on me was all the same. It’s hard figuring out if it’s better to stay or go, especially since more often than not there are toxic teachers in the ballet world. My hope is it’ll all change. I hope companies will put their dancers needs first, be more welcoming and kind, and offer dancers a safe space to learn and grow rather than dictate over them with fear. Ballet is very behind its time, we have to say enough is enough at some point or else it’ll always be this way. We all know ballet is toxic, we shouldn’t be taking this. The love for the art shouldn’t equate to such immense abuse and sacrifice.
Also, adding on to my previous comment I’m very relieved that someone else in the dance industry is speaking out about this. I can’t tell you how many times I’d feel like the crazy one for wanting the ballet standard to change and everyone around me saying “that’s just how ballet is”. Ballet is tough because it is demanding but it should never be the cause of an eating disorder or body dysmorphia or just generally feeling like a failure because your peers make you feel like the size of an ant. No one is stupid for asking questions. No one should be shamed for making a mistake. Doing well out of fear is something I’ve experienced a lot and the mental toll it’s had on me is absolutely awful. It’s such a toxic relationship thinking you’re being overly sensitive when you’re being humiliated and screamed at in class by someone who supposedly wants to see you succeed. I’m a dancer in my 20s and no matter if you’re a child or adult there should always be respect given in the studio. I appreciate your video and thank you for making me feel less alone
Thank you thank you thank you for saying “it’s not your fault”. I’ve always known this but it’s hard to think that way when others are happy around me are happy in the situation/environment and I’m not. I feel unsafe, emotionally
I didn’t realize I was in a toxic relationship with my teacher til I left . When I heard I was leaving, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.. that has never happened with any other studio I have been with previously. I didn’t realize how much I had been manipulated, thinking I was in the wrong. Hearing these references to toxic dance teachers made me realize my teacher did almost all of them . ☹️
Thank you a thousand times for this video. I was being told by the teacher how I needed to just try harder to fix something I have been trying to for 9 years and the negative things she'd heard about me as a dancer. This led me to blame myself for not being able to overcome her negative expectations while tackling depression at the same time.
Wow you truly impress me! The things you say about toxic teachers, even i'am not a professional dancer.... I can apply a lot of things on my regular everyday life. Maybe not exactly with teachers, but there are a lot of situations in life where the reaction can /should be exactly as you say ❤️👍🏻
I know there is so much more to say on this subject, so I would love to hear from you, dancers. What do you think are some examples of toxic behavior? What do you do when you notice it? Let's get a productive and respectful conversation started :)
It took me years to admit that I had a toxic teacher during college, I feel like I wanted to feel like I had more control over the situation than I did by blaming myself totally. Once I let go of them and my reputation in the school, I was better off and my dancing was better.
Had a mean Romanian ballet teacher who would take the short blades from the vertical blinds off of the window in her office, and slap us with them while screaming at us in her language whenever we did something she deemed “incorrect”. She was the hardest on me. I didn’t let her ruin ballet for me. I pressed on and on my last day with her, she actually told me in her own backhanded complimentary way that she actually had respect for me.
I stopped ballet after 12/13 years because I would constantly compare myself to others who had perfect dancing bodies (what society says!) or perfect technique because it was something they were extremely serious about whereas I just did it as a sport along with several activities (whereas they only did one thing to focus on!). My teachers were never horrible intentionally, but there were small things that definitely hurt and made it not very enjoyable for me. It's better for me mentally and also ensures that I don't show them that I'm hurt and hurt them in the process. (it was never terrible!! I am grateful for the past few years and I would have had to stop at the end of this year when I end school anyway)
I think the insight you shared about how ballet was not your only focus is so important for teachers and dancers to keep in mind so we can all adjust our expectations appropriately! Personally, as a teacher I really need to hear this too! I can so easily get wrapped up in MY priorities as a professionally trained dancer that I forget not everyone has the same relationship with ballet as me. It can be a constant struggle for me to adjust my expectations after 20 years of perfectionism, so thank you for reminding me to keep growing in this way too for the students like you! ❤️
Also I have a little baton with a little cork at the end , and I'll use that to point to spots on my students after asking. 👌👌 I ran it by the kids and parents and they all like this plan
Hi! I recently switched to a new ballet school but my teacher isn’t giving anyone (including me) corrections and I feel like I can’t learn and grow, and sometimes I feel like quitting but deep down inside I know that I’m not giving up just because I’m not getting corrections. I can’t really switch to a different ballet school because there’s not any other ones in my area. Can you please make a video or reply to this comment and say what I should do in this situation. Thanks
It’s one thing to correct someone on their dance posture, movements, and overall performance. It’s picking on someone for their looks and weight that is downright awful. I’ve seen perfectly skinny girls get told “put your skirt back on, we can see your lunch” and the looks on the girls face is heart breaking.
As a dancer aiming to go professional, it’s scary. I’ve had my fair share of teachers who exhibited toxic behaviors and I’d feel like the overly sensitive one for getting upset whenever I’d be singled out or humiliated. Having corrections be given to you is one thing, but being made to feel stupid for making mistakes is another. Some of the treatment wasn’t intentional but the mental toll it put on me was all the same. It’s hard figuring out if it’s better to stay or go, especially since more often than not there are toxic teachers in the ballet world. My hope is it’ll all change. I hope companies will put their dancers needs first, be more welcoming and kind, and offer dancers a safe space to learn and grow rather than dictate over them with fear. Ballet is very behind its time, we have to say enough is enough at some point or else it’ll always be this way. We all know ballet is toxic, we shouldn’t be taking this. The love for the art shouldn’t equate to such immense abuse and sacrifice.
Also, adding on to my previous comment I’m very relieved that someone else in the dance industry is speaking out about this. I can’t tell you how many times I’d feel like the crazy one for wanting the ballet standard to change and everyone around me saying “that’s just how ballet is”. Ballet is tough because it is demanding but it should never be the cause of an eating disorder or body dysmorphia or just generally feeling like a failure because your peers make you feel like the size of an ant. No one is stupid for asking questions. No one should be shamed for making a mistake. Doing well out of fear is something I’ve experienced a lot and the mental toll it’s had on me is absolutely awful. It’s such a toxic relationship thinking you’re being overly sensitive when you’re being humiliated and screamed at in class by someone who supposedly wants to see you succeed. I’m a dancer in my 20s and no matter if you’re a child or adult there should always be respect given in the studio. I appreciate your video and thank you for making me feel less alone
Thank you thank you thank you for saying “it’s not your fault”. I’ve always known this but it’s hard to think that way when others are happy around me are happy in the situation/environment and I’m not. I feel unsafe, emotionally
I didn’t realize I was in a toxic relationship with my teacher til I left . When I heard I was leaving, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.. that has never happened with any other studio I have been with previously. I didn’t realize how much I had been manipulated, thinking I was in the wrong. Hearing these references to toxic dance teachers made me realize my teacher did almost all of them . ☹️
Thank you a thousand times for this video. I was being told by the teacher how I needed to just try harder to fix something I have been trying to for 9 years and the negative things she'd heard about me as a dancer. This led me to blame myself for not being able to overcome her negative expectations while tackling depression at the same time.
Wow you truly impress me!
The things you say about toxic teachers, even i'am not a professional dancer.... I can apply a lot of things on my regular everyday life.
Maybe not exactly with teachers, but there are a lot of situations in life where the reaction can /should be exactly as you say ❤️👍🏻
Thank you so much!
I know there is so much more to say on this subject, so I would love to hear from you, dancers. What do you think are some examples of toxic behavior? What do you do when you notice it? Let's get a productive and respectful conversation started :)
It took me years to admit that I had a toxic teacher during college, I feel like I wanted to feel like I had more control over the situation than I did by blaming myself totally.
Once I let go of them and my reputation in the school, I was better off and my dancing was better.
i admire you so much for making such video! I have also been in certain situations with toxic teachers and it really sucks :--(
Thanks Dania, and I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this too 💕
Had a mean Romanian ballet teacher who would take the short blades from the vertical blinds off of the window in her office, and slap us with them while screaming at us in her language whenever we did something she deemed “incorrect”. She was the hardest on me. I didn’t let her ruin ballet for me. I pressed on and on my last day with her, she actually told me in her own backhanded complimentary way that she actually had respect for me.
I stopped ballet after 12/13 years because I would constantly compare myself to others who had perfect dancing bodies (what society says!) or perfect technique because it was something they were extremely serious about whereas I just did it as a sport along with several activities (whereas they only did one thing to focus on!). My teachers were never horrible intentionally, but there were small things that definitely hurt and made it not very enjoyable for me. It's better for me mentally and also ensures that I don't show them that I'm hurt and hurt them in the process. (it was never terrible!! I am grateful for the past few years and I would have had to stop at the end of this year when I end school anyway)
I think the insight you shared about how ballet was not your only focus is so important for teachers and dancers to keep in mind so we can all adjust our expectations appropriately! Personally, as a teacher I really need to hear this too! I can so easily get wrapped up in MY priorities as a professionally trained dancer that I forget not everyone has the same relationship with ballet as me. It can be a constant struggle for me to adjust my expectations after 20 years of perfectionism, so thank you for reminding me to keep growing in this way too for the students like you! ❤️
Also I have a little baton with a little cork at the end , and I'll use that to point to spots on my students after asking. 👌👌 I ran it by the kids and parents and they all like this plan
I would really love to see you and Kathryn Morgan do something!!!
#kathrynmorgan
Yes! I'd love that too!
Hi! I recently switched to a new ballet school but my teacher isn’t giving anyone (including me) corrections and I feel like I can’t learn and grow, and sometimes I feel like quitting but deep down inside I know that I’m not giving up just because I’m not getting corrections. I can’t really switch to a different ballet school because there’s not any other ones in my area. Can you please make a video or reply to this comment and say what I should do in this situation. Thanks