See? I knew I'd mess up the American utensil etiquette. Apparently it's similar to the European way when cutting, but then similar to what I showed thereafter to eat - only switching to your right hand. What a roller-coaster!
Lost in the Pond also I have heard the origin of the hand switching is to slow down the length of time it takes to eat instead of shoveling food straight into your face.
No. No,no , no,, the classic American use of utensils,,, Is to firmly grasp the over stacked, over condementized burger,, not too firmly or it will all squirt out the edges, with two hands and all your fingers on deck,,, and try not to dollop it down the shirt front as you tuck into the other side. French fries,, which the French call American fries, are finger food as well. And then noisily lick and suck your fingers clean all the way to the third knuckle afterward. Now you've got it.
well, American way is much neater when we're eating all that sauce covered food. Diane Jennings did a video when she visited America and food kept falling off her fork
What I and apparently many others witnessed on Diane Jennings channel (former Irish TRY Channel participant) when she came to America to a Denny's restaurant and tried eating hashbrowns with her fork upside down (tines facing downward) she got a lot of American commenters talking about how cringe worthy that method was. Myself self included. We all were like, "WHAT ARE you doing?" These critiques stuck with her so much that she references back to that incident quite often in current videos. That said, I don't know why any sensible human being would try to eat loose food by scooting it on the bottom of the fork (convex side) with their knife. It just doesn't make physical sense. I mean you wouldn't use a post hole shovel that way.
When my son was eight, he was asked to say grace at a special dinner. He bowed his head and started talking. A lady at the table interrupted him saying, "Stop mumbling. I can't understand you!" He looked up at her and replied, "That's okay. I'm not talking to you." Then he continued with no further interruptions.
Instead of a European experience with saying grace, how about a South African's experience? My husband, like you, came to the US for the first time around Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was, therefore, the first big family meal he shared with us. We had a tradition where my Grandmother would start the prayer, then we would go around the table adding something for which we were personally grateful. Now my husband is a native Afrikaans speaker and learned English as a child from cartoons. So he wasn't too up on the lingo, so to speak. As a result, he said he was grateful for the hospitality he received on this the day when Americans celebrated eating the Indians. Yep, that's right. He forgot the "with." My mother, an amateur historian, without missing a beat, said "oh, no, honey. That's the Donner party, not the Pilgrims." So my husband believed, at least for the first few years he lived here, that we had an annual holiday to celebrate cannibalism. And he still agreed to become a US citizen.
@Tango Jones He'd been raised in a fiercely evangelical area of SA. That, combined with the high crime rate of SA means all my SA relatives can't understand why I unlock my doors to potential robbers once a year to hand out candy in some vaguely satanic ritual. But, I just tell them "it's Irish" and they nod sagely, having obtained the notion that the Scots and the Irish are all professional drunks from international rugby matches.
Perhaps Americans could have quieter dinner conversations if the restaurant turned down the damn background music so that we can hear each other at standard indoor conversation volume.
I have never encountered what you are talking about. Are you sure that it wasn't just the region you visited? I live on the east coast and have been up and down it. Never has there been loud music, if there even is music.
@@Good_Hot_Chocolate It's a syndrome out west, that three quarters of every restaurant - pub or not - has background music up about a quarter too loud. I attempt to speak with an indoor voice only to be met with "what?" after everything I try to say.
One of my Korean teachers did an exchange year at university in the US. He lived with a host family. The mom of this family was like my own mom and a lot of others back then At the family dinner mom peppers you with questions about your day. My teacher said he struggled with this. He didn't want to talk with a mouth full of food but he didn't want to stop eating in case his hostess would think he didn't like the food. Also, his food was getting cold and he grew up with chopsticks and so was learning how to deal with cutlery etiquette. Koreans have a lot of respect for elders, plus they had taken him into their home. He told me he finally he got up the courage to ask one of the sons in the family for help and I guess the kid spoke with the mom, because mom waited until dessert for the questions after that. She wasn't trying to be mean she was just excited and curious to have him there.
I feel like exchange students should have some kind of "crash course" before they get dropped into a culture they know nothing about. My mom's family had a South African exchange student when she was a teenager. Thank God my grandmother wanted him to experience America and, since she was a teacher, she was supportive and explained so much to him. My mom is in her 60s and she still keeps up with him and his family.
@@feraltaco4783 Yeah I think so. It works both ways too. My brother was wrapped around the axle about the exchange student from Argentina at our high school kind of chasing him. I had to point out he was captain of the soccer team. We were a small town, all around us it was American football. PS trying to get back here to answer you I clicked your channel. I loved your pet pictures and you have good taste.
Having worked as a server and bartender in my younger years, I’ve got to tell you ... we don’t LOVE checking every 5 minutes. We realize that it’s disruptive. However, especially in large restaurant chains, our supervisors force us to do this. A server can be disciplined if she/ he doesn’t not do the 2-minute/2-bite check in. Secret shoppers and corporate inspectors are specifically asked to look for this. Every customer hates it. Every server hates it. It’s the upper management who missed that memo.
@@jacobvardy Big corporations have strict expectations, for sure. But I wouldn’t say they run our lives ... they just enforce uniformity in the workplace. You’ll get much more personalized service at family owned establishments.
Ah, I wasn’t aware of that! My only visit to the States was a few years ago, a holiday to Florida with some friends. We knew about the tipping etiquette and followed that accordingly; and we were generally very impressed by the waiting staff and their friendliness. But a couple of times it felt too overbearing. I remember on those occasions we had to stop the servers and point out that we were in the middle of a conversation or say to them "we'll let you know if we need anything". One waiter in particular looked a bit 'stuck' at that. None of us had any idea that the constant checking up/chatting was compulsory though (or could result in disciplinary action if not followed); to us, their behaviour came across as too desperate, a bit rude, even. We weren’t trying to be mean or rude ourselves (never-mind land someone in trouble!), and in hindsight, I feel quite bad now. I just hope in our instances it wasn’t picked up by the supervisors!
They do this in the UK as well so I don't understand why folk are saying we don't. It's called a "check back" so the server will come back 5 minutes into your meal and check your enjoying your food or need more drinks. But they don't do it constantly 👍 I just politely say you don't need to check back just watch for an empty glass 😁
What are the servers expecting to help by returning after only 2 bites? I require at least 15 bites before I know if the meal tastes good. What would happened if I told the server to go away or he wont get a tip?
9:33 There's nothing I love more than hearing British people's imitation of American accents, they always end up sounding like either a caricature of a New Yorker or a cowboy who's recently suffered a stroke.
Cassitastrophe...wow! At work, we once had a visitor from NY, who told me I almost have a Southern drawl...now even though I came here when I was 16 (EEurope but not Russia) I haven't lost my English accent! It just goes to show how people interpret your accent!
The diffrence in eating brought me a chuckle. My youngest had to move back to the USA from Germany because I went to Iraq. My mother took him and my little brother to pizza hut and he requested a knife and fork. A elderly couple was at the next table and asked My son where he moved from and he told them. The gentleman was a veteran and told him never let anyone tease him about his table manners.
@@glenn6583 He didn't really mean table manner per se. If you read the context of the post, he meant more like eating "preferences" or something. I fully understood what he meant.
Well, I'm an American and I start off eating my Pizza with a knife and fork until I get quite close to the end crust area. When I was in Australia and went to Pizza Hut I requested a knife and fork. The girl behind the counter said but you ordered pizza and I replied yes I did
Yes! It’s so natural to change to the right hand, I don’t even notice that we do this! Also, keeping your hand in your lap over your napkin, and no elbows on the table, completely freak out those who use continental manners!
I'm predominantly right handed, but when I go to cut my food up, I cut with the knife in my left hand. I just keep the fork in my right hand in both cutting and eating. I still eat with the tines facing up though.
in london last year i was having lunch at a pub, i got on very well with the bartender and asked about tipping. His response was perfect. It’s not expected, but we don’t mind it.
When we were in Spain, I loved how servers would not hover over you at restaurants or cafes. They just leave you alone to enjoy the meal. It was so refreshing to not feel rushed. We ate our meal, drank our wine, took our time and when we were ready, we gestured for the check. I miss that here.
Idk how it is in other parts of the US but where I live, no one expects a tip. Will we look at you a little funny if you leave no tip on a $70+ bill? Sure. But its not like we're gonna chase you down after you pay and tell you off lmao
I'm an American, we went to church every Sunday, but only said Grace on holiday meals. My husband's family day Grace before every meal, all the time.😊. So even American families differ from each other.😊
I've only seen super religious households do grace. Most houses I've been to for meals don't bother with grace. So it definitely differs between families and households
Cheryl Bailey , I have tried to have romantic dinners at expensive restaurants with my husband, and still have a better than average chance of having a family with small children seated nearby, and Not the quiet, polite kind of children- the ones who get up from the table and run around, or squeal loudly, or bang their utensils on the table, etc. There are a lot of people these days (years) who feel that they are “entitled” to bring their kids anywhere.
@@JeanieD there are a lot and I mean a lot of expensive restaurants that don't allow children in. You gotta call ahead and ask. One expensive restaurant that my parents would sometimes go with my brother and I when we were little had a separate area with a door for people with children. I have no idea how my dad pulled this off, but we always ate in the main dining area. My brother and I were extremely good kids though.
@@JeanieD no this has been all over the US. Where I live there isn't a single expensive restaurant. We had to 2.5 hours to go to our expensive restaurant. We only did it when we were in town visiting friends and family.
I was working at McDonald's and I had a British person and try to tip me it was very funny conversation we had I basically explained that if the waiter comes to your table then it's generally accepted to tip if you have to order at a counter with exception of bars you don't
I never understood the bar bit either. I understand tipping for a well made cocktail or something, but if the extent of service is handing me a bottle from a refrigerator 2 feet away...
I learned a variation of this (I’m American). If you have to take care of your own trash after your meal, then don’t tip (you did the work). But if someone else takes your dishes and stuff away, then do tip (because they’re taking care of you).
Most people who go on quiet dates or want quiet conversation here in the States rarely go to family restaurants. Here, the more expensive or high end usually means the less noisey.
Edward James You must not live in the NY area Edward....I would love to find a restaurant around here that had table cloths, good food, and a quiet atmosphere where you could enjoy a romantic evening. ☺️💕
@@dianawest3976 I am NOT in a huge city like NY and I still would love to find a quiet restaurant in which to dine and have a quiet conversations that are reasonably priced. I don't understand where those restaurants went. As a child I couldn't wait to be an adult and go to the nice restaurants (in rural towns) with large curved booths to sit in, low lighting, mellow music, a dance floor for romantic dancing, and where you could hold calm conversations over a bottle of wine. My parents used to go to them 2-3 nights a week (so they weren't killer prices). NOW THEY ARE GONE....."who moved my cheese?!?!" How do we get them back?!?
The classification of these restaurants is already strange. We just divide in with service, or without service. Of course nobody has a date at McDonalds.
@Holger P. As a broke teenager, I can definitively say you are wrong, also I went out with my girlfriend and her father to the shooting range as a date so... Needless to say she is better shot than I am. But yes people go to McDonald's on dates if they are poor.
I can't remember any of my Catholic family saying grace, though I did learn the standard Catholic one at Sunday school ("Bless us oh Lord....") When I was in Scouts, we were expected to say Grace, so people just tended to go with the "God is great. God is good. And we thank him for this food. By his hand, we are fed. We thank you Lord for our daily bread." Or if people felt a bit less reverent: "Good food, good meat. Good God, let's eat."
My grandfather had two. One was " father, son, holy ghost, whoever eats fastest gets the most" and the other was " Bless the meat and damn the skin, open your mouth and shove it in"
Server based in Cardiff, Wales here! Typically when it comes to serving tables, there's a reason that we keep away, we don't want to annoy people or get in their way. To people over here, it's seen as really rude and interruptive if they're checked on usually more than once, if they want your attention they'll make it known. That's not to say we don't check in on them regularly, we just do so silently just by glancing at their tables, drinks and faces to see if it's all looking good mood wise. One time my supervisor checked on my table for me and forgot to tell me, so when I went to check on the table the customer exploded in my face demanding privacy, wanted to see the manager and everything. On the flip side, being in the Welsh capital we get American tourists a lot and some of them say that it seems like we're unenthusiastic to engage with them (because of this etiquette), most of the time when I explain the cultural difference and that we just want to let them have their time how they want it without being interrupted they're fine with it, as a matter of fact only one table didn't understand and was still angry (but they also complained at the start that Welsh was on the first page and English was on the second so I really didn't care what they thought from the get go, don't go for the language in Wales it's an easy way to not be liked lmao)
I'm in Ireland and I get the impression that Americans want to keep you at their table and are oblivious to the other table under your watch. I hope you reminded the customers that complained about Welsh been in the menu what country they were in that's just ignorance.
My husband told me that when he went overseas, he looked for the restaurants where the locals ate, because the food was good and the service was fine. I’m not able to travel but if I was, I sure would be polite to whoever lived in that country. I travel now by viewing different countries on line.
I’m American and I hate the constant checking in. There’s been times they’d come over every 5 minutes. Another time it was so often I actually told her to stay away because she was so disruptive. I told her- watch our glasses, if they’re not empty, don’t stop by. It’s so aggravating because you can’t even have a conversation.
My husband spent some time in The Netherlands and adopted the continental style of using utensils. I use mine the American way. Our kids picked up a mixture of both as a result, though they mostly use the continental method. It's much more efficient. One of my daughters-in-law commented on it once, and told us how confused she was when she first started coming to family dinners. ETA: I don't care how others hold their cutlery, just chew with your mouth closed.
When I lived in the States I soon found out that if you want an undisturbed meal tell the server "we have everything we need and I'll give you a nod when we want the bill thank you".
If you have everything you need, and don't intend on ordering more drinks or dessert, then just ask for the bill when they come back to check on your meal. Then, whenever you're ready to pay, put your credit card or cash on/in it in a way that is clearly visible to the server and place it at the edge of your table and they will see it when next they pass your way. If you've decided in the meantime that you'd like that slice of cake after all, just ask them to add it to your bill before they run your card. Your way requires them to keep eyeing you for an hour, hoping to look at you at just the right moment to catch the nod. It's not a terrible method by any means, just less practical, and does require quite a bit more lurking on your server's part.
I caught myself eating yogurt with a serving spoon the other day. I realized that I'm so tired of WASHING THINGS that I just grabbed whatever clean spoon was close to hand.
My stepdad used to say "If you don't bless the food before you eat it, it goes to hell." I once finally replied "I don't care where it winds up as long as it goes through my digestive system first."
Growing up in Northern Illinois in the United States, we prayed during dinner, which we called supper. Back then, we had breakfast, dinner and supper. Now, because I'm so cosmopolitan 😂I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I don't mind saying Grace, but what I do detest is when it is used to lay out all sorts of prayers and petitions. Grace is to thank God for the food, not to ask Him to heal your kidney stones or help in a job search. Everyone is hungry, let them eat and save those prayers for a more appropriate time. I know this sounds rude, but I think it is even more rude to use mealtime prayers in that way.
What about the horror when you are at some family's dinner and they all HOLD HANDS THE WHOLE TIME and each person is forced to say something, particularly at Thanksgiving, and you have to come up with the particular acceptable bullshit?!!!
@@emjayay My introverted, personal-space-loving self is twisting in horror at the very idea! I barely tolerate having to hold hands with family for the Thanksgiving and Christmas grace, and that's only 20 seconds tops.
When I was 15 years old I went on a language course in England (mum didn't want me to go to Hastings and speak Swedish with other Swedes, so she sent me to a girls' boarding school for a month), and there we said grace (strange expression, isn't it?): "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful." I have thought about that practice, and that wording, from time to time ever since. Getting fed every day is not something to be taken for granted. And the work put into growing the food and preparing it is not something to be taken for granted, either. I think it is good to contemplate that and encourage oneself to be grateful for not going to bed starving, even if one does not direct one's thanks towards a deity.
At the age of 15 i stay a language vacation in South england, as an atheist i was forced to grace . This was disgusting ,emb3rasing and very disturbing to me. It strengthenmy resistance against any form of "believe".
@@kratzikatz1 You could have excluded the lord part. A party leader in Sweden who went the twelve steps to fight her alcoholism did not use the word God (Gud in Swedish) when she said the Serenity prayer, but Gudrun (her name). Yes, her name was exceedingly fitting, but she would have come up with another solution had she had another name.
We watch a lot of British tv shows and have noticed the differences in the way characters hold their forks in particular. Thanks for explaining this as we wondered if that person in the story just had bad manners or the tines down fork was really a thing. It looks so unusual to this American.
It looks unusual to me, Northern Irish. Like, how else would you do it. Predominant utensil in dominant hand. "You cut with your strong hand" is the justification I've heard, but even eating that person's food I don't find I need that much knife...
My favorite British trait, which I call 'The Prompt'. You likely do it and are completely unaware of it. As you stated the British are by and large a bit more private and stand-offish than Americans. Thus you've perfected the pacifying small talk in interactions with acquaintances or a stranger you are forced to encounter that allows you to be polite but not very engaging.. However, Ive found that when a British person wants to have a more in depth and engaging conversation, they will ask you a question and give this very particular look and motion. Its hard to describe, but essentially they widen their eyes, look directly at you and move their head forward as though they are trying to hear you better, or like they are gesturing for an expected answer ( like wen interrogating a shy child and you ask a question and this same notion lets them know you demand an answer). Its very subtle body language, but says volumes. It says, " Yes, I want to have a REAL conversation with you beyond polite platitudes." I got used to seeing it in England, but recently a British co-worker here in the states, who usually just say hello and moves on came up to me and ask a question and gave 'the prompt'. I almost laughed but instead launched into a nice chat with him.
I know that look.. The less subtle, the movement and eye movement is, the more trouble you're in and likely to have your mom smack you across the face. I heard the best way to end a conversation is Britain is to slap your legs and just say in a somewhat louder voice "Well.." and whatever you wish to follow up with. "I gotta go" is my go-to as an American.
We British are NOT "private and stand offish " at all ! We are more reserved than Americans, and dont leap in with new acquaintances in answering what WE regard as very personal questions! It is common to be asked by an American you have just met " and WHAT do you do " as if they are judging whether bothering with you is worth it !
[pǝʇɔɐpǝɹ] : I thought that maybe he was at that bar waiting for his partner (your server) to get off work. That much of a tip is unreal, so large that he could brag and laugh about it later.
I'm from Paisley in Scotland and we said grace at every meal for the first 14 years of my life til my Gran died. Gran insisted upon it as well as impeccable table manners and etiquette. Please may I leave the table was the only way you were allowed get down from her massive dining chairs when I was a child.
My family, and all my extended family, still say "grace" before meals. I never knew it was universally frowned upon.. lol 🙏❤ If a child finishes early, they ask (as well as we did as children), "May I please be excused?" 🥰 I remember decades ago, at a large family gathering, the television had been left on with Nintendo(?) paused. The boys finished early, and asked to leave the table in order to return to their game. Dessert was served a while later. A small trick was played on them telling them they couldn't have dessert because they had already left the table. Their poor faces and body posture!! 😳😫 Of course, they were invited back and served a few helpings of dessert! Such as growing boys! 😂🥰💙
A lot of Scots emigrated to the mountains of south-eastern USA in the 19th century - I see many many echoes of 'Southern' USA culture in Scottish folks today.
I think nowadays saying "grace" in America is only for super religious families or definitely in the south. It's more of an older tradition that most American families don't really do, at least not for every meal. Yes, maybe just Thanksgiving or Christmas, as the two biggest family / meal holidays. I remember when I was little and we went to someone else's house for Thanksgiving (long-time friend of the family's, not related) there were like 20 other people there. Everyone got a plate of food, sat down, and the host gave a speech / said grace, then we all started eating. You are very correct that it's like a moment of silence to pay your respects, and then it's time to celebrate (eat and chat). Also, the chatting part was amusing to me because at any large table with more than 8+ people, most divide up conversations between just the people next to them or across from them. There could be four or five different conversations going on at the same table if it's a large party. If you're in the middle, you might go back and forth looking at one person talking, then a different person talking, and you feel awkward trying to decide whose conversation to listen to, lol
I never cared for saying Grace, but I especially hate being told to hold the germy hands of the people on either side of me at the table, while someone says some prayer that they prefer. Ick!
@@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042 oh gosh, I hope people don't make you do that anymore! Usually you just bow your head slightly and close your eyes, and if need be, put your hands in the praying position 🙏
My grandmother remarried to an Englishmen when my mother and her siblings where very young. They were taught the "English" way to use their utinsils. All the grandchildren where taught the same way. It wasn't uncommon to hear other families say how well mannered we all where at the dinner table. We were just doing what we were taught.
That's because the Continental way of holding utensils is much more basic and requires less hand eye coordination to master. Give a kid a fork and he will grab it. Holding it delicately balanced as we do is harder for kids to master.
@@TheRagingPlatypus I am surprised by your comment, unless you missed out a word and so I misunderstood it. The Continental way of holding utensils appears far more elegant to me, more delicate and careful and considered. It requires quite a lot of skill, and takes years to learn to do properly. For example it's entirely counter-intuitive and requires a lot more care and planning to transport loose items into your mouth via the tines of a fork than it does simply scooping them. There is also a lot less clatter, if you're not having to constantly put down your knife.
Our family always holds hands and says grace at family dinners. Especially Thanks giving where we each say what we are grateful for and Christmas when we thank God for Christ and His blessing on us.
When we'd say grace when I was a kid we'd always hold hands. My grandpa would always be next to me. After "Amen" he'd say "Squeeze!!" and squeeze my hand. It was the best.
For context, I was raised Baptist but concerted to Catholicism in high school with my parents. I've found that my baptist family say grace much more regularly than the Catholic friends my parents invited over. Baptist grace tended to be very free form, based on whatever is going on for the people at the meal at that time, while Catholic grace is usually a specific prayer with maybe a short specific thanks given at the end. I also didn't often run into hand holding; that tends to be a special gathering thing for both but slightly more common with Catholics
Yes, I also noticed over the years that my Baptist friends and family say Grace more consistently and frequently than my Catholic friends. And yes it is more freeform. I include what is currently happening at that time as well as the moment.❤
As a Catholic: "Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." It's basically mandatory. Although we do often offer specific causes the prayer is intended to serve, generally before the prayer.
A few years ago I learned that holding utensils as in England, fork in left-tines down and knife in right, eating is much easier. I don't have to keep switching utensils in order to get the cutting done.
It's very common to cut up two or three bites worth, then switching and putting the knife down to eat. It seems a bit more relaxed to me, not always grasping both utensils as you eat, not needing to do work for each bite, and adds some pacing, kind of like breaks in between eating sessions. The 'cutting time' is also the time where you may ask a question, then start eating while listening to the answer.
@@pastacat5518 It's actually easier for me to eat as I use the fork and knife the way I do. I can keep my focus on my dinner companion just as well by not having to switch hands. To each his own.
@Jkinsg92 You're the one acting like a stuck-up man-child, I hate to tell you. "Waaah, I care so much about what everyone else does! I have a stick up my arse!" People can eat whatever way they want. They can eat a steak with a spoon if they want, and then use said spoon to gather up all of your salty tears while you cry in the corner.
Born in MASS Tea Party : my husband usually has his mouth full when they ask, so he just nods now. Much worse are those parents who let their unmannered children raise havoc (running around screaming, grabbing food off other people’s plates, and/or having a tantrum). Our (now grown) children knew that they better behave and so do their own children.
Utensil "etiquette" has always been funny to me. But I've actually realized in recent years how much I appreciate the general American style of only picking up the knife to make a few cuts, then going back to the fork only. It slows the meal deal, and allows it to be more of a social experience. The time I've spent in Europe (Germany, in particular), I always felt the meal was rushed with both utensils constantly in-hand and not taking a break. The one big exception to this in my European travel/living has been the French countryside, where multiple courses, multiple drink pairings (even a meal at someone's house - I'm not talking about going out to eat), where the pacing slows things down and promotes that communal element that I so love about food and drink.
My family...both sides, supper or Sunday dinner (2pm) was always an hour minimum, holidays even longer. Lots of talking and laughing as well as eating. Very relaxing and enjoyable.
I'm American & remember a time when restaurants weren't so noisy... I find it very annoying myself. Higher end restaurants seem to be quieter for the most part, but honestly I almost never go out to eat anymore...
It has a lot to do with the style and construction of a restaurant, really. Consider a fast food restaurant or diner. Typically one large open space and everything is hard surfaces. So when people talk noise tends to bounce around. Add in a lot of people there at the time, each trying to be heard, and slowly ratcheting up the volume so their table mates can understand them over the babble and it gets pretty loud. Also it's culturally expected so people tend not to bat much of an eye. In slower dining restaurants there is going to be a lot more noise-deadening fabric. Carpets on the floor, tablecloths, curtains and plants all around. It's fairly common such places to include other noise-dampening ideas too, like tall dividers between sections or deliberate noise-cancelling designs and materials. With less echoing and a culture that has people more keep their voices down they are a lot quieter.
Re: the server checking "how are you doing?" There's an element of common law regarding "innkeepers" that says that if the customer isn't satisfied with the service provided, he has no obligation to pay for it. Having the server check back with the customer gives them an opportunity to mention any shortcomings in the food or service. When it comes time to pay, the customer can't avoid paying if they have raised no objections to that point. I'm not a lawyer, but I did take Business Law about 50 years ago, so base your comments on that.
We are Christian, but my husband and I never said Grace or a prayer at meals (I’ve always found it such an arbitrary time to pray). My parents came for Thanksgiving when our daughter was about 3, and asked her to ‘say Grace’. Poor kid was very confused about why Grandma and Grandpa wanted her to say her middle name out loud at the table. 😂
Tried to teach the swimming game Marco Polo to a new family member from El Salvador. I demonstrated saying "Marco" and explained the ins-and-outs of the rules about having to reply "Polo" so long as your head is above water, while if you're underwater, you can always pretend you don't hear. After we played a couple rounds, I told him it was his turn. He called out my first name, at which point I explained that it isn't "[Your Name Here] Polo" if the other person *isn't* named Marco.
Extremely not arbitrary time to pray...in fact the most poignant time to do so. What better time than to thank for sustenance and survival. Furthermore, in our modern lives, the time when we're all together.
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats The kind that has a personal relationship with my savior, talks with and thanks Him when I am in connection with Him, and the kind that doesn’t judge people on the internet for thinking differently than me. ☺️
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats Saying something does not equate feeling it. Not saying something does not equate NOT feeling it. I am in the process of teaching my 11 year old daughter to distinguish between good religion(s) and bad religion(s), genuine religious sentiment and secterist thinking. As the bad examples, I am using certain murderous psychopathic hordes (no need to name them more specifically) but also the far less numerous but equally deluded and psychopathic people in the U.S. who a couple of decades ago murdered doctors that performed abortions.
I can't even tell you how many times the waitress has asked how everything tastes when I'm clearly still chewing my first bite. XD I mean I love the enthusiasm but let me chew!
The other fun one is when they come by and see three fourths of your plate is uneaten then ask, "Are you done? Can I take that for you?" If I *am* done after eating only 1/4 of my meal, that would say something pretty crappy about your food, wouldn't it?
You do know that literally everything in an American restaurant is reliant on you not ordering the third drink or desert, right? Seriously prohibition plagues the US to this day.
@@tejaswoman Like I said the restaurant industry is still stuck in the prohibition era because they don't have to pay their employees and make a few dollars extra.
I bet the "how's everything?" when you've just taken a bite is not an accident. They can be seen as attentive, but you are almost guaranteed to just give a thumbs up and not ask for anything, and they can move on quickly.
At my table, we held hands and said grace for every meal. When the kids brought their friends over, we still did it. I was surprised that their friends enjoyed it, too. It was never mandatory, but rather grateful and joyful for being together with God and the food we had.
I was at a meeting one time and the lady leading our group asked us to stand and hold hands to say grace before our luncheon meal. We did and then sat down to the meal. Someone commented that it was really sweet to have us hold hands. She replied that it was tradition in her family. She had several brothers and sisters and making them hold hands to say grace gave everyone an equal start at the food and no one was able to sneak a bite while all eyes were closed.
Mer Maid In her family it seems to have had a double purpose. As a parent of 5, I thought it was hysterical and a good idea! My hubby had to make a rule that no one could take a bite u til mom took her first bite, otherwise I might miss out on the food and the feeding frenzy was a sight to behold. It’s just a way of teaching manners, don’t be a pig at the trough.
No, nononono. I despise holding hands to say grace. My hands are clean when I sit down to eat. I don’t want to hold someone else’s hand who might not have washed theirs well, if at all, before eating. I also hate people who know you coming up to your table while eating out and wanting to converse and possibly shake hands. I’m eating, don’t breathe on my food, and again, I don’t want to touch your possibly disgusting hands.
I agree with you about the servers in the US... they are usually omnipresent or scarce... it’s quite rare to get one in between... I long for the days when the servers actually watched the tables and responded promptly to anyone needing something...
One time we were deserted by our waitress and my husband and son wanted coffee refills. My son could see the coffee station nearby and just got up and grabbed the pot himself. Needless to say there was a very small tip. One time we had a waitress take our order and then go on a break. We had to get the manager to get our food. My husband left one penny to show how the service was.
If someone started speaking to me as if I were in an Austen novel, I'd probably offer to buy them a meal. I'm a sucker for well-spoken language in a lovely accent. Either that or it's because I'm currently living in Florida and desperate for culture.
You are cracking me up! This is great! 1. My mom wished we were British growing up in the early 80s - 90s. I was literally taught how to use cutlery the European way. So much so, that it was hard for me to learn the American way. But, let's be honest, American forks and knives are far less efficient. And my mom taught us to do it with "elegance". 2. I've seen praying in a number of ways. Mine was fairly subdued. German paternal background, mom wanting us to be British. 3. The restaurants are wild! I understand that there will be a variety of people and interactions at a restaurant. It's a trip sometimes! It's sometimes comparable to attempting to control the volume of students in a school cafeteria. Yikes, cafeteria duty is exhausting! 3. I've been a server. The biggest bummer was getting business men at lunch, the "Suits" or Europeans. Lol! Not sure about the suits, but we always knew people from other countries have a different culture around tipping. We never served them differently. We understood the cultural difference. The hourly rate for servers is still approximately $2.33/hr in my home city and state, in 2023. Same as it was in 1993. Wow! That is why I teach my students to completely understand percentage. Lol! Seriously though, my 25 year old daughter makes BANK as a server and bartender. She will have a hard time when she has to take jobs entry level in mental health because she's studying to become a licensed therapist at the University. Thus far she's paid for all of her classes and lives on her own. 4. I think your content is great. Furthermore I really appreciate that you state disclaimers of sorts before you share information. It is a very responsible way to share what you've experienced, despite being married into a US family. Sound data from a diverse and large sample with a specific hypothesis and experimental design is the "best" way we can examine differences or test a question. So, I legitimately appreciate your comments and appreciation of regional, personal, etc., differences. You don't broad stroke purposely in the least, yet you hit the nail on the head often. Well done!
I had the same experience with the whole "grace" thing as an exchange student (I'm Australian. We're not particularly known for doing the grace thing here.) My host family did it, they even went to church on sunday mornings, even though they weren't particularly devout "believers". There seems to be an entire culture based around "being seen to be " over "actually being."
My parents do this but more for the reason that, ‘I haven’t really focused on God lately this week, I’ll go to church Sunday to at least get the gospel.’
Some of the heavier religious areas really influence pressure on not going to church and stuff. But it's becoming a lesser problem nowadays. Majority nowadays seem to not care as much about going to church unless you're truly religious, I think it may be due to the newer generations vs older generations. My great grandma and grandpa were way more religious than my grandma and grandpa. My mom and all her siblings never go to church but believe in god. My siblings and I give 0 ducks about any of it. This seems to be on trend with all my friends as well.
@@rylian21 But how does that impact the behaviors being discussed? A friend moved back to Kentucky after decades in SF to help his elderly parents. He said everyone there was very courteous, very helpful, and dumb as a box of rocks.
@@rylian21 Lol...you just showed how ignorant you are. Yes, there are SOME Southerners who "stoopid" at a level that defies explanation...but I have met ample ppl in many other places all over the U.S. that could just as well apply to. There will always be those "shining examples" in virtually any area.
@@craigslater2321 It depends on the restaurant. I hate when people have loud ringtones, I really hate that. Phones vibrate for a reason. Or people give their kids a game to play or something and the volume is all the way up and the parents do nothing about it. Recently, I was at a restaurant, and sitting not far from a family, and their youngest daughter would just randomly scream, not like cry, I mean literally *scream* they'd apologize and try to prevent it from happening but it's still like, really? If you know your kid will scream don't take them to a restaurant, you don't know if someone may have sensitive hearing or what. That goes with fork scrapers too. Some people scrape their forks ridiculously loud sometimes.
I wish they were more quiet too. I also wish restaurants were better lit. Low light gives me headaches. It seems like middle priced restaurants are always low lighting. Cheap places have better lighting and expensive places depends on what type of atmosphere they try to project. But those sit down, average priced places always have low lighting with a yellow tint.
Tipping is weird here in Australia too. Usually only in more posh restaurants. My daughter was a waitress in a high class restaurant and did get tips often but any average restaurants do not tip. They might have a tip jar at the register but that's it
I’m Faroese, and “saying grace” is somewhat common with Faroese families. My friend’s family used to _sing_ grace. Was really awkward for me, because I don’t sing and his entire family are choir singers.
@@May-gr8bp Have you ever heard the Faroese singer, Eivor? She sings in Faroese and English. Faroese is the purest form of language spoken by the Vikings. When she sings with throat singing and a drum, in "Trollabunden" it's riveting!
I grew up saying grace in Texas. I think singing grace sounds beautiful, especially in Faroese, which is a very lovely sounding language. My family is Norwegian-American, so we have Norwegian prayers that we say at the table before a meal.
I had an amusing story from my tweenaged years where a friend who's family was all about using the proper eating etiquette got annoyed at me for the way I eat. See, I'm ambidextrous, and with my upbringing being almost literally in a barn, I had essentially no concept of which hand is supposed to hold the knife, etc etc. I was just this weird little girl who would constantly swap which hand the knife or fork is in, sometimes swapping mid bite or cutting or whatever. It was really really funny at the time, and honestly even funnier to me now that this kid cared so much about his friend eating "wrong."
I know Americans must think servers here are terribly rude but I would much prefer to be left alone and flag someone down if I need them than have to talk to them every 5 minutes. I'm not a social creature and having to constantly interact with strangers over the course of a whole meal sounds like literal hell to me.
see, to americans, because they come up so often, it would actually seem kinda rude to flag down a waiter. or it would seem as if the waiter isn't doing a good enough job. (or if you're in a rush, it's usually fine for that.) it's not a nuisance, really, it's a nice thing to have people fill up your water right when you need it. you don't need to have a full conversation with them every single time, it's just a nice thing.
I agree. I hate being bothered in restaurants. I travel to the USA quite a bit and get really annoyed at being asked if everything is ok every 5 minutes. If I have a problem, I'll ask for you. Leave me alone! What's worse though is that in non-tipping jobs the customer service is terrible there which makes it more obviously fake.
My wife and I went to a place in Eastern San Diego County that had little flags you ran up at your table if you wanted service or to be left alone. Simple yet effective.
I think the difference is that almost no one is religious in the U.K. I’m 60 and I don’t know anyone who has a religious belief. If they did have then I guess they may do a meal prayer.
@@courgette3401 That’s a sweeping generalisation .. the British just don’t flaunt it and make a big thing in public .. it’s a personal thing not something that you have to be seen to do. ... you just do.
@@courgette3401 I'm 58 and was brought up Catholic in the UK ( strict Catholic) I think saying Grace is just something not done, on the whole, in the UK. I had lots of C of E friends who were the same.
not really - its 10-30 % of the bill .... but unlike America you don't have to tip in the uk And MOST places don't carry a service charge like America . In America - some places pay shitty wages far below our minimum wage which is LAW for all industries here . EGO and social status is derived in huge amounts in the USA ( culture ) via tipping but not so much in the UK
Worth noting that generally, the price of food in your typical restaurant in America is X cheaper than in comparison to the UK. A meal out in the UK is more of a treat, a special occasion. Once a month maybe? In America it’s often just what you do multiple times a week. Unless your wealthy, nobody in the UK could afford to eat out especially as a whole family to replace the normal evening meal. So tipping in America makes more sense aside from the staff wages, but in the UK you are already paying a high price for the food and drink. So the concept of tipping, adding even more to a bill seems to us Brits pretty crazy. It is polite to leave a tip of course, more often than not the service isn’t great, and if it is you’ve likely paid a lot for what you had. Hence reach for the change!
Off subject but here’s a shoutout for your glasses. The shape is great. I swore I wouldn’t wear large glasses again (I was there for an earlier iteration 40 years ago) but now I’m thinking maybe I could wear these now.
Two comments: Tipping and British accents. I worked as a guide in Alaska. Tipping is expected. But if you hear that British sound emanating from a pale Anglo mouth, you just do your job without hope. Once though three English women were on a tour in the wilderness to see bears, I actually found a few for them. (It doesn't always happen.) They had such a marvelous time. At the end as I was walking them to their ferry to get back to their cruise ship one woman said to me "We've heard we should tip. So the three of us pitched in and this is for you." She gave me a small wade of cash. Needless to say I was shocked. It would have been impolite to look to see how much in front of them, but suddenly I felt that all was right with the world. They hopped on the small boat and departed, confident that they had been the best of guests. I then braved a peek at the wad of sweet green cash. Three single dollar bills. (To be fair once and only once I did receive a twenty dollar bill from a Brit. It was such a scene of weeping and cultural reconciliation that the recent unfortunate events of 1776 were completely forgiven.) Secondly: The fork is King.
That service charge is 1) absolutely NOT “most places” and 2) ALWAYS voluntary and near-universally declined. It’s sad you thought all was right with the world when they tipped. All is right when you get paid properly and don’t rely on literal begging.
"All good mate, could do with another pint though, cheers". What I'm actually thinking: "None of your sodding business noseyparker, I'm trying to have a bloody conversation with me bird now leave us alone before I narrow my eyebrows at your stupid smiling gob."
It bothers my husband only because he usually has his mouth full when they ask. It’s much worse to have a server who seems to avoid you, especially during non-hectic times.
I'm an American, from North Carolina, and we always say grace at family gatherings, similar to how you described. You will also sometimes see people do this at restaurants too, depending on the area.
The way you showed the utensil etiquette for Britain is the way I learned how to properly use them when I was growing up, and I'm from Texas, so at least some of us Americans are on the same page. Of course, I have eaten the other way when eating alone at times I'm not concerned with proper etiquette, but whenever I go to a Dining In (I'm in the military) or any other formal dining event, I make sure to use proper etiquette, and I hold the fork and knife in the exact way you demonstrated as the "British" way.
Sweet Canada and Andrew-- Unless your mashed potato is disgusting, made from a supermarket packet and nearly liquid, same way. Mashed potato hangs together perferctly well to use a fork held in "knife and fork" position. Peas and lentils you squash a bit against the fork with the knife. If you have scored both peas AND mash, it is OK to glue the peas to the fork with the mash, again with the knife. For a fork-only meal, the fork is held upside-down, as in the US, but higher levels of etiquette say don't swap hands. (Same with spoons and forks-don't swap hands if it is spoon-only). I suspect that because the upper class set the rules of etiquette, they set them to suit meat-eaters. Soft foods were for poor people without money or teeth. You eat your meat bit by bit, using knife and fork as you go, you don't chop it up in advance. And if your cook has made mashed potato, it will be of upper-class consistency, not peasant gruel. Of course, if you've chopped all your food up first then abandoned your knife so you can swap hands and eat like a toddler, that doesn't work. In THAT case - - "I eat my peas with honey, / I've done it all my life, / it makes the peas taste funny, / but it keeps them on my knife" 🙄😇 Come to think of it, Americans might not understand that, since they seem to put syrup or honey on everything, even "pancakes and bacon", and put the knife away, so would never have received a parental admonition not to lick their knife or use their fork like a shovel. (What a loss to humanity and culture!!! 😍)
I eat most things the “American way” except steak. When I was little, I picked up one of those Emily Post books on etiquette and it showed the English way of holding the knife and fork, though with a transition into the American way of holding the fork once an appropriate amount (I believe 3 pieces was ideal) of steak was cut into bite sized pieces for consumption. Silly but I still eat it this way.
I was in the Navy for 6 years and on my first deployment we stopped in Portsmouth, England. My buddy and I found a pub off the main street and we were the only two in there. Asked if tipping is standard and has said not normally but if we were inclined to he would put it towards a charity (he had a box for it). We tipped every drink.
@@Sophie.S.. right, he told us that it was normally done, but we tipped anyway because he said he would put it towards a charity. He put each tip in the box. So I guess you could say we donated after. Don't remember the charity exactly but I think it was a children's charity of some sort.
My paternal grandparents emigrated from Sweden. It was a given that a meal at FarMor and FarFar’s ( Father’s mother and Father’s father) included the Swedish table grace, in Swedish. If I am asked to give the grace, I usually say it in Swedish, and then again in English. Needless to say, I am very proud of my Swedish heritage! I also have UK roots, back to the Domesday Book, with English, Scottish, Welsh and Irish ancestors. I found it very easy to adopt the continental method of holding the fork in the left hand all the time. Do you know why we Americans switch hands when using our forks? It came about during the Revolutionary War. The Patriots wanted to break ties with all things British, and that included how we hold our fork to insert food into our mouths. Just a little trivia😁
biggest difference: in an American restaurant, they serve each diner a portion large enough to feed a small country, then ask if you want a takeaway box. in a UK restaurant, they serve you almost but not quite enough for you to feel stuffed, and when they say "fancy some dessert?" it's always, "why, yes, that would be lovely."
Man I would love that. In America I always feel like I'm wasting food/money for not eating the mountain of food on my plate right away. Even if I try to find the smallest possible thing on the menu, it ends up being bigger than my head
I think it’s wasteful to serve more than a normal portion. All that food that goes back to the kitchen? Or taken home in a doggy bag to just be tossed out three days later. Not very environmentally conscious, if you ask me. Just serve a portion normal people can finish and tell them they can order free extra fries or rice or something. (My mother always told me to clean my plate and i still feel guilty when i can’t) That way the guests might stay for desserts and coffee, and that’s a win-win, because more courses=more money.
@Lost in the Pond My granny was adamant that you NEVER EVER use a knife in order to cut potatoes. I think this stems back to the times when cutlery was indeed silverware and when knifes were made entirely out of some sort of silver-alloy, or were at least silver-plated. Cutting potatoes with a silver knife would expose the blade to the starch and proteins of the potato which could lead to the blade becoming tarnished. She also taught me that you should not use your fork to scoop up food like it was a spoon.
@@ngw1976So that's the reason for non-metal spoons. I always assumed they were collector items, just for looking at, not using! But I grew up with stainless steel "silverware."
“Bless us oh lord for these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, amen.” Grace said by Catholics in America.
My protestant mother and her family always said, "Dear Lord, thank you for the food we are about to recieve and bless it to the nourishment of our body." My dad said, "God is good. God is great. Let us thank him for this food."
As an American, I hate, hate, hate it when people hold their cutlery with fisted hands. I feel like I'm eating with a caveman or with someone raised in a barn 😫 Edit: Guys, I don't openly tell people their way of holding cutlery bothers me. I would never do that to a guest or person I was eating out with. That's rude and none of my business. I just have a very human, moment's gut reaction of surprise when I first notice how they're holding their stuff, because I'm not used to it. But, my reaction doesn't go beyond that. I'm never attempting to make the other person feel bad with my subjective pov of how this type of table manner/etiquette should look like. My original comment was just a bit of late night hyperbole. That is all.
@@ig7002 Because table manners still matter. I'm not preoccupying myself with thoughts of this pet peeve on the daily. It's just bewildering to see, because a significant enough number of people seem to do that here, but I also never saw that--except in children--until very recently. It just takes me aback, like if I were witnessing a strange phenomenon. We all have those things that cause that kind of emotion in us. Cutlery, apparently, is mine.
@writerspen010 You’re not alone. I also cannot stand it! Whenever I see someone eating like that I can’t help but think to myself, “didn’t your parents teach you any manners?!” 🤦🏼♀️
Being a member of the LDS (Mormon) Church, we have always said a blessing on the food. My wife is from the Philippines, but I met her in the UK in Norwich ( she also is an LDS member), I met her at church there. Every time we went to dinner with other Filipinos (LDS or other beliefs) we always said a blessing. It’s cultural I guess.
Glen Reese another fun one my grandpa used to do was: “Three potatoes for four of us, thank God there ain’t no more of us, pass the cake for goodness sake, Amen.”
This was spot on (as an American who has family in the UK and has spent a lot of time there.) I love it that restaurant servers in the UK keep their distance from the tables. My pet peeve is being constantly interrupted during meals - and that behavior seems to have got/gotten worse in the US in recent years. It wasn’t always like that here.
It's due to tipping culture. They'd rather over-service you so you don't have the "well, you barely did anything" excuse. Yeah, some waiters do it too much, but in my experience, it's usually not that bad. They come at sensible times like when a drink is empty, after we recently got our food, or we are almost done. Then again, I'm a bit extroverted. I bet introverts would just hate it no matter what because "oh no, I have to talk!"
"I eat like a toddler." I feel you. I have anarchistic cutlery habits myself. (The left, which on me is the clumsy hand, holds the knife, because all it has to do is saw. The right, my skillful hand [only in comparison to my left], handles the spearing and shoveling, which are variously employed, with various grips, depending on the nature of the food. No wonder I never get dinner invitations.)
I prefer to use my skillful hand for the knife part because I don't like bloody food. Then again the skillful hand to get the food into my mouth instead of in my nose.
I do similarly, I have arthritis in my hands and either I do whatever works or I don’t eat or I make a huge mess trying to eat ‘properly’. It varies a lot by utensils, too - some places have utensils I find quite hard or painful to grip well so I’m more toddler-esque in those places. (We spent quite some time finding utensils for our house that I was comfortable holding so at least my manners at home are reasonable most of the time.)
True story: When I was in kindergarten (age 5), the teacher said we were going to have a minute of silence. (I don't know what tragic event occurred). She said to just bow your head and say a little prayer. So I did as instructed, and said to myself: "Dear heavenly Father, Thank You for this food, amen"
My grandparents were from Britain and Scotland so I know about the chatter and the differences at meals, I remember improper use of fork and knife or too much chatter brought a smack on the hand with the handle of a dinner knife lol. Don't know if it was that way for you but you sure bring back funny memories. Thank you for your posts.:)
As an American server, the only time i hear an accent and feel dread, is when they are French. But i worked in a casino that got a lot of French tourists and they'd get a coupon for a free meal at our diner. The coupon did not include a tip and we had signs, in french, that said tipping appreciated and it said the same on the coupons because they NEVER tipped anything, and they still didn't tip. Sense we had so many of French people coming in because of a special promotion the casino ran, the servers threw a fit about it and they started adding $2 as a tip on each coupon so that the servers would serve them without throwing fits to the managers. So that experience burned me on the French as a server. Most tourists and foreigners are actually good tippers because they are so worried about it because they don't really understand it. If they ask me about it, i just show them on their receipt that there are calculated tip suggestions for 10% 15% and 20% and that 10 is basically acceptable service, 15 is good service and 20 is great service guidlines
In my experience French people are just mostly rude. 20% is pretty standard in my area but it is Napa Valley. I usually double the tax (18%) or divide total by 5 (20%).
I (in the Pacific Northwest of the US) start at 20% tip & go up or down based on service quality. I'll never go below 15% unless the service was truly atrocious (or if there's no table service), & even then I think the lowest I've gone is 10%. It's long past time to raise the tipped-employee minimum wage.
Im sorry, but just because i ordered expensive food, doesn't mean you are getting tipped more. That logic is so stupid, you should tip based on how good you think the service was, and based on your income. I make 30k a year, you did super good, i might tip you $8-$10, if you did solid, you get about $4-$5, if you were meh, maybe $2-$3, and if you were shit, you ain't getting nothing.
Simon Templar Agreed. I have had kids come sit at my table with me, and take food from my plate. No parents in sight. I have considered carrying pre-printed notes to pin onto unsupervised children. I love businesses that post signs saying "unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy". My notes wouldn't be so kind.
@@giabarrone7422 😂😂I witnessed s brat recently beg to have a starter and a main meal after being told he wouldn't eat it all. Parents indulged him of course. Not only did he not eat his food he ran all round the restaurant and then was given a dessert. There should be an exam to pass before you're allowed to be a parent.
Agree. I think they should have a separate section for children. On one particular occasion my husband and I had our nice meal disrupted by children running around the restaurant yelling. Irritated me that I spent my money to be disturbed
@@annseabolt6645 it all depends on the restaurant. If you're eating at Applebee's or Dennys, families with children are just part of the deal. Fine dining? Nice restaurants? I agree. Generally, just don't take kids under 5 or so, and only ones who know how to act.
We've as a family dropped the custom of saying grace before every meal but Thanksgiving is an exception where we *always*, and individually, give thanks to God for our blessings in the year passed
I remember in the UK, I would generally leave a tip, I had no idea it wasn't common practice. While travelling, I always paid cash, so, I would often get say, a fifteen pound check, (That's the cost, not the weight) put in eighteen pounds exactly, and have the server come back with the three single pounds, putting it on the table with the check. After having the slightly embarrassing "No, no, that's for you, thank you very much for the service." conversation, I realized you have to tell the server you are leaving a tip when you pay, or etiquette will not allow them to just keep the extra, even when there is _no explanation_ for those three extra pound coins, except that it's a tip. I love Britain.
C N : when I went to Japan at the end of 1972, I thought that each yen coins was equal to our quarter ($0.25). I had had that very long flight over from California to Tokyo, bringing my three month old daughter. Our flight was very late so I had to stay overnight. Not understanding the tip rate there, I made sure to tip the staff at the nice hotel what I thought was a few dollars in yen coins. I found out later why I made such a big impression with my tipping. Each coin turned out to be about a dollar in USA money back then.
In the Netherlands we have a keep-the-change sort of tipping culture, but I really hate when the customer doesn't say "keep the change". Especially British people just say "thank you" in a sort of way that I, as a non-native English speaker, should infer that I can keep the change.
The converational noise level in restaurants has risen, in my opinion, when the "industrialized" look became popular. Former mills and other manufacturing facilities were repurposed. That made for decor with hard surfaces that reflect sound. Gone were the draperies, curtains and carpets that absorbed sound. The music in many establishments is also intruding loud making it difficult to converse. People naturally started talking louder to be heard above the din. Lastly, again my opinion, is cultural differences and changes in etiquette. Being raised in New England with its Puritan heritage we have or at least had a reputation for being more uptight than other parts of the country. When I was young so many years ago if we were not well behaved in a restaurant my parents would take us home. My 2 year old daughter would not stay seated at a restaurant I took her to. We left without ordering and she did not see the inside of a restaurant for two years. These days it seems one is expected to endure the behaviour of other diners children regardless of how much you've spent to go out for a quiet enjoyable dinner.
Dave M I absolutely agree with you, Dave- and I hate the bare floors, no drapes, no tablecloths style now, it helps to amplify the sound! People are generally not considerate of other diners in restaurants and feel their children can do as they please and basically it’s your problem if you don’t like it!!
My dad used to flat out refuse to stay in restaurants that were too loud. Especially when it wasn’t a busy time but the music was cranked up so it was unnecessarily loud.
Dave M : oh my goodness yes! We have had to just get up and leave a restaurant where there was obviously no sound reduction built in and it actually hurt our ears from all the seemly extra loud voices. I also miss having some of the niceties that used to come with dining out. The unruly/unmannered children are a blight on the whole eating out experience.
The "saying Grace before dinner" awkwardness and time sink is exactly why my father, (a Baptist Minister), decided when we were kids that all future meal time prayers would simply be as follows: God bless this food which now we take and make it good for Jesus sake Amen. boom.
Re Grace: I’m an American Catholic, and instead of one person at the table spontaneously coming up with a prayer and everyone else saying “amen,” we have a mealtime prayer that everyone say’s together (Bless us O Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen). This was the prayer I said at home, at relatives’ houses, and at Catholic school before meals growing up. Now, I was once at my piano teacher’s house - she used to throw a Christmas pizza party for her students every year. Before we went down to eat, she asked that we sat grace, “It’s the prayer that most of you know, I’m sure.” So I launched into my normal grace, but everyone around me started saying what I learned later was the Lutheran table prayer. It felt like I entered the twilight zone! Everyone was sideways glancing at me like I was the weirdo. tldr: I said Catholic grace in the middle of Lutheran country
By any chance are you from Minnesota or thereabouts? That’s almost exactly the prayer my dad’s Catholic family says. And if there’s any place with a Catholics v. Lutherans vibe…
My Texas Catholic family says the same mealtime prayer all together, although someone often adds a spontaneous, short prayer before or after. We also commonly hold hands while praying, as mentioned in the video. At extended family gatherings, we stand in a circle holding hands (often outside where there's more room) during the pre-meal prayer and then get in line "buffet style" for food.
Oh wow, that sounds embarrassing of them to just assume it’s all the same on you. Then again I’m from Eastern Pennsylvania and have never learned any before meal prayers but the Catholic one from my grandmother, and a handful of humorous ones my Methodist dad learned in the Army.
I moved to the UK a few years ago for school, and when I was dating someone, they took me to meet the family (already a nerve wracking situation for me) for dinner. After we went back home she yelled at me for eating like a Neanderthal in front of her family and using my fork to cut my potatoes and carrots, and not holding my fork and knife right. To me it was normal! I learned quickly though. And I got her back when she came with me to the US a couple of months later. Not only did we say grace, but our my family’s preacher came to have dinner with us too. Not the best introduction of my girlfriend. We also had more of a “make your own”, almost buffet style dinner situation with my family that she found really odd as well. I hated never getting refills on drinks in the UK! I get thirsty when I eat, and you have to ration it more. Took some adjusting.
I am so shocked, as an American who's lived in Australia for a decade, to find out that using a fork to cut soft things is in the etiquette violation category. Well, I guess the reason for that is that Americans don't always hold their knives, whereas European-style diners, you always have the knife handy anyway, so you might as well use it.
I am sorry but if I was yelled at for such a minor thing, I would be dumping their arse. Also, anyone who is eating in a new place who doesn’t emulate the other people at the table is a bit of a dumbo.
Random Commenter from Down Under .... I wouldn’t feel offended by you eating American style. I might think it odd but it wouldn’t be something I commented on because that would be rude IMHO. Anyway, I also know a good many americans eat that way so what does it matter? People can get hung up on the littlest silliestthings. A good host would not embarrass a guest and would want them to be comfortable and at ease. If you attempted to sit ON the table, scream and play fork drums , OK I might be forced to confront you but I would prefer not to.
Jkinsg92 wait till you hear how the Japanese eat if you think we’re savages LOL. Even worse, me and other Americans even use chopsticks for regular eating if we don’t feel like washing too many utensils after the meal. You might have a heart attack if you see how Indians eat ...
@@PiousMoltar oh my family says a whole prayer every night. And its not like something you recite, either. You pray for different things and use different words, but the general gist of it is the same.
If a wait staff keeps bothering me, they get a less tip. I'm here to eat the food, but my conversations and me eating my food, is my time. If I want something, I'll raise my hand.
I cannot ever remember having dinner in my childhood home without saying grace before eating. My son's family also sits at dinner and we say grace before. My Dad led the prayer--but my grandchildren lead now and it's precious.
@@movingup2118 I'm American, and have said grace before dinner maybe...five times in my life? Mostly as a kid when I was eating dinner at a friend's house or something. It felt very odd then, as it does now.
Cute. But you know, they invented this thing that looks like a tiny shovel, that is more conducive to eating things that won't typically stay on a knife or fork. It's called a "spoon". Yes, I totally ruined your joke. You're welcome.
@@rowynnecrowley1689 It started before the American revolution and well it was better to use 2 maybe 3 (including the plate) back then now a days it's not such a big deal.
Yes, I agree! I've often wondered why we didn't use some kind of universal "signal", like maybe a folded napkin on the outer edge of the table or something like that, that would flag the server that you wanted a bit of privacy or something of that nature. Makes sense to me!
While I agree, I have to add when I was a waitress it was expected of the staff. If a manager saw we weren’t circling the dining room constantly, we were reprimanded. It’s a lose/lose situation.
I'm much more bothered by clothing stores that have staff paid on commission. They can be like circling vultures. But as far as restaurants, since I go through my iced tea fairly quickly (especially since most places load the drinks with ice) I don't mind frequent check-ins, but there is a fine line between coming to the table too often and not enough.
It is in part to try to keep diners happy, with refilled drinks and such. But it is a lot more about pushing the add-ons like desserts and billed drinks (alcoholic or otherwise) and to gently nudge diners out of their seats, to free up that table for another meal's worth of income sooner. A table of four diners can take as much as an hour-and-a-half to finish dinner, but if you can urge them out fifteen to thirty minutes sooner, you can get an extra seating of money or two at that table in an evening.
I grew up in an American suburban family. Saying grace is something that's typically just a few lines spoken symbolically on special occasions like Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'm not very religious, but in my family it's just been a way to show our appreciation for the meal we are about to eat and the things we are grateful for in life. It's really not a big deal, just a moment of silence and a few phrases, and then everybody is ready to tuck in to some turkey and mashed potatoes with gravy right afterwards. Just a small gesture of gratitude that takes a few seconds but means a lot. Per tradition, in my family it always ends with "bless the hands which prepared the food, amen" or something like that. My grandfather always did the blessing, and after his passing the honor was passed on to me. I keep it short and sweet but always keep his main message at heart. Always appreciate what you have.
The instruction in the Bible is correct: "And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of others" People who make a public spectacle of prayer in a restaurant tend to mistreat the wait staff. People who bow their heads and pray silently or quietly tend to be very kind toward the wait staff. Generally, waiters know what to expect when they see how people pray. It's true.
See? I knew I'd mess up the American utensil etiquette. Apparently it's similar to the European way when cutting, but then similar to what I showed thereafter to eat - only switching to your right hand. What a roller-coaster!
Lost in the Pond also I have heard the origin of the hand switching is to slow down the length of time it takes to eat instead of shoveling food straight into your face.
No. No,no , no,, the classic American use of utensils,,, Is to firmly grasp the over stacked, over condementized burger,, not too firmly or it will all squirt out the edges, with two hands and all your fingers on deck,,, and try not to dollop it down the shirt front as you tuck into the other side. French fries,, which the French call American fries, are finger food as well. And then noisily lick and suck your fingers clean all the way to the third knuckle afterward. Now you've got it.
Lost in the Pond A roller-coaster, indeed! Another great video! 👍🏼
well, American way is much neater when we're eating all that sauce covered food. Diane Jennings did a video when she visited America and food kept falling off her fork
What I and apparently many others witnessed on Diane Jennings channel (former Irish TRY Channel participant) when she came to America to a Denny's restaurant and tried eating hashbrowns with her fork upside down (tines facing downward) she got a lot of American commenters talking about how cringe worthy that method was. Myself self included. We all were like, "WHAT ARE you doing?" These critiques stuck with her so much that she references back to that incident quite often in current videos.
That said, I don't know why any sensible human being would try to eat loose food by scooting it on the bottom of the fork (convex side) with their knife. It just doesn't make physical sense. I mean you wouldn't use a post hole shovel that way.
When my son was eight, he was asked to say grace at a special dinner. He bowed his head and started talking. A lady at the table interrupted him saying, "Stop mumbling. I can't understand you!" He looked up at her and replied, "That's okay. I'm not talking to you." Then he continued with no further interruptions.
That's great!
That is amazing. I love kids sometimes. The accidental verbal smackdowm they give at times.
Priceless !!
Classy kid! 🤣
😂😂😂
Instead of a European experience with saying grace, how about a South African's experience? My husband, like you, came to the US for the first time around Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was, therefore, the first big family meal he shared with us. We had a tradition where my Grandmother would start the prayer, then we would go around the table adding something for which we were personally grateful. Now my husband is a native Afrikaans speaker and learned English as a child from cartoons. So he wasn't too up on the lingo, so to speak. As a result, he said he was grateful for the hospitality he received on this the day when Americans celebrated eating the Indians.
Yep, that's right. He forgot the "with."
My mother, an amateur historian, without missing a beat, said "oh, no, honey. That's the Donner party, not the Pilgrims." So my husband believed, at least for the first few years he lived here, that we had an annual holiday to celebrate cannibalism.
And he still agreed to become a US citizen.
Michele Deetlefs oh no! 😂😂😂
@Tango Jones He'd been raised in a fiercely evangelical area of SA. That, combined with the high crime rate of SA means all my SA relatives can't understand why I unlock my doors to potential robbers once a year to hand out candy in some vaguely satanic ritual. But, I just tell them "it's Irish" and they nod sagely, having obtained the notion that the Scots and the Irish are all professional drunks from international rugby matches.
I probably laughed harder than I should have at this, but then I have been in quarantine for a week now. Somehow it seems much longer. Lol
Send this to Reader's Digest too. I read many jokes like yours on RD. Yes, I do read RD sometimes.
who says prepositions aren't important!
Perhaps Americans could have quieter dinner conversations if the restaurant turned down the damn background music so that we can hear each other at standard indoor conversation volume.
This, at every fucking night venue.
I have never encountered what you are talking about. Are you sure that it wasn't just the region you visited? I live on the east coast and have been up and down it. Never has there been loud music, if there even is music.
@@Good_Hot_Chocolate It's a syndrome out west, that three quarters of every restaurant - pub or not - has background music up about a quarter too loud. I attempt to speak with an indoor voice only to be met with "what?" after everything I try to say.
Have you ever been in a Wetherspoons in the UK no music at all but the noise is deafening with everyone just talking give me music any day .
Seriously!
One of my Korean teachers did an exchange year at university in the US. He lived with a host family. The mom of this family was like my own mom and a lot of others back then At the family dinner mom peppers you with questions about your day. My teacher said he struggled with this. He didn't want to talk with a mouth full of food but he didn't want to stop eating in case his hostess would think he didn't like the food. Also, his food was getting cold and he grew up with chopsticks and so was learning how to deal with cutlery etiquette. Koreans have a lot of respect for elders, plus they had taken him into their home. He told me he finally he got up the courage to ask one of the sons in the family for help and I guess the kid spoke with the mom, because mom waited until dessert for the questions after that. She wasn't trying to be mean she was just excited and curious to have him there.
I lived in Korea for years. I find it incredulous that there's a Korean who is uncomfortable talking with their mouth full.
I feel like exchange students should have some kind of "crash course" before they get dropped into a culture they know nothing about. My mom's family had a South African exchange student when she was a teenager. Thank God my grandmother wanted him to experience America and, since she was a teacher, she was supportive and explained so much to him. My mom is in her 60s and she still keeps up with him and his family.
@@feraltaco4783 Yeah I think so. It works both ways too. My brother was wrapped around the axle about the exchange student from Argentina at our high school kind of chasing him. I had to point out he was captain of the soccer team. We were a small town, all around us it was American football. PS trying to get back here to answer you I clicked your channel. I loved your pet pictures and you have good taste.
@@angelachouinard4581 thanks. That's kind of you. 😊
@@phillipleblanc7823🤣😆😂
Having worked as a server and bartender in my younger years, I’ve got to tell you ... we don’t LOVE checking every 5 minutes. We realize that it’s disruptive. However, especially in large restaurant chains, our supervisors force us to do this. A server can be disciplined if she/ he doesn’t not do the 2-minute/2-bite check in. Secret shoppers and corporate inspectors are specifically asked to look for this. Every customer hates it. Every server hates it. It’s the upper management who missed that memo.
The more i learn about the US, the more it sounds like a police state. Except with employers running peoples' lives rather than the secret police.
@@jacobvardy Big corporations have strict expectations, for sure. But I wouldn’t say they run our lives ... they just enforce uniformity in the workplace. You’ll get much more personalized service at family owned establishments.
Ah, I wasn’t aware of that! My only visit to the States was a few years ago, a holiday to Florida with some friends. We knew about the tipping etiquette and followed that accordingly; and we were generally very impressed by the waiting staff and their friendliness. But a couple of times it felt too overbearing. I remember on those occasions we had to stop the servers and point out that we were in the middle of a conversation or say to them "we'll let you know if we need anything". One waiter in particular looked a bit 'stuck' at that. None of us had any idea that the constant checking up/chatting was compulsory though (or could result in disciplinary action if not followed); to us, their behaviour came across as too desperate, a bit rude, even. We weren’t trying to be mean or rude ourselves (never-mind land someone in trouble!), and in hindsight, I feel quite bad now. I just hope in our instances it wasn’t picked up by the supervisors!
They do this in the UK as well so I don't understand why folk are saying we don't. It's called a "check back" so the server will come back 5 minutes into your meal and check your enjoying your food or need more drinks. But they don't do it constantly 👍 I just politely say you don't need to check back just watch for an empty glass 😁
What are the servers expecting to help by returning after only 2 bites? I require at least 15 bites before I know if the meal tastes good. What would happened if I told the server to go away or he wont get a tip?
9:33 There's nothing I love more than hearing British people's imitation of American accents, they always end up sounding like either a caricature of a New Yorker or a cowboy who's recently suffered a stroke.
good description.
Cassitastrophe...wow! At work, we once had a visitor from NY, who told me I almost have a Southern drawl...now even though I came here when I was 16 (EEurope but not Russia) I haven't lost my English accent! It just goes to show how people interpret your accent!
Whereas Yanks ALWAYS nail British accents...🙄
His American accent is terrible, but my British accent is much, much worse.
@Planet of the grapes If I try a generic British accent I generally sound like Stewie from Family Guy or Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous.
The diffrence in eating brought me a chuckle. My youngest had to move back to the USA from Germany because I went to Iraq. My mother took him and my little brother to pizza hut and he requested a knife and fork. A elderly couple was at the next table and asked My son where he moved from and he told them. The gentleman was a veteran and told him never let anyone tease him about his table manners.
How you use your eating utensils is not really a matter of manners. At least not to polite people
@@glenn6583 He didn't really mean table manner per se. If you read the context of the post, he meant more like eating "preferences" or something. I fully understood what he meant.
Well, I'm an American and I start off eating my Pizza with a knife and fork until I get quite close to the end crust area. When I was in Australia and went to Pizza Hut I requested a knife and fork. The girl behind the counter said but you ordered pizza and I replied yes I did
@@suewolf3279Me too. It's because we're not feral.
My husband and I use a knife and fork to eat pizza. Eating with your hands is messy and gross.
In States often hold fork in left hand, cut with knife in right hand. Then put down knife, switch fork to right hand and eat.
Yes! It’s so natural to change to the right hand, I don’t even notice that we do this!
Also, keeping your hand in your lap over your napkin, and no elbows on the table, completely freak out those who use continental manners!
All the time!
I'm predominantly right handed, but when I go to cut my food up, I cut with the knife in my left hand. I just keep the fork in my right hand in both cutting and eating. I still eat with the tines facing up though.
I live in Latin America, we call it american etiquette. No switching's called british.
in london last year i was having lunch at a pub, i got on very well with the bartender and asked about tipping. His response was perfect. It’s not expected, but we don’t mind it.
Same here in Australia. 😁
Because the wage is good and that incentivises us enough to serve well and cheerfully.
When we were in Spain, I loved how servers would not hover over you at restaurants or cafes. They just leave you alone to enjoy the meal. It was so refreshing to not feel rushed. We ate our meal, drank our wine, took our time and when we were ready, we gestured for the check. I miss that here.
Idk how it is in other parts of the US but where I live, no one expects a tip. Will we look at you a little funny if you leave no tip on a $70+ bill? Sure. But its not like we're gonna chase you down after you pay and tell you off lmao
@@mcd08 where in the heck do you live? Do you not know that uncle sucker assumes waiters/waitresses get a minimum 8% in tips?
@@gemoftheocean what are you talking about?
I'm an American, we went to church every Sunday, but only said Grace on holiday meals. My husband's family day Grace before every meal, all the time.😊. So even American families differ from each other.😊
I've only seen super religious households do grace. Most houses I've been to for meals don't bother with grace. So it definitely differs between families and households
In the US, the more expensive the restaurant, the quieter we are. We expect cheaper family restaurants to be loud.
Cheryl Bailey , I have tried to have romantic dinners at expensive restaurants with my husband, and still have a better than average chance of having a family with small children seated nearby, and Not the quiet, polite kind of children- the ones who get up from the table and run around, or squeal loudly, or bang their utensils on the table, etc. There are a lot of people these days (years) who feel that they are “entitled” to bring their kids anywhere.
GingerJeanie if the children were misbehaving, that would make me truly angry. You would think parents would have more sense.
@@JeanieD there are a lot and I mean a lot of expensive restaurants that don't allow children in. You gotta call ahead and ask. One expensive restaurant that my parents would sometimes go with my brother and I when we were little had a separate area with a door for people with children. I have no idea how my dad pulled this off, but we always ate in the main dining area. My brother and I were extremely good kids though.
Jessica Ely , that may be the case where you live. It doesn’t negate my experiences where I have lived.
@@JeanieD no this has been all over the US. Where I live there isn't a single expensive restaurant. We had to 2.5 hours to go to our expensive restaurant. We only did it when we were in town visiting friends and family.
I was working at McDonald's and I had a British person and try to tip me it was very funny conversation we had I basically explained that if the waiter comes to your table then it's generally accepted to tip if you have to order at a counter with exception of bars you don't
I never understood the bar bit either. I understand tipping for a well made cocktail or something, but if the extent of service is handing me a bottle from a refrigerator 2 feet away...
I actually know people who regularly tip fast food workers since they get paid so badly and put up with so many hassles
I learned a variation of this (I’m American). If you have to take care of your own trash after your meal, then don’t tip (you did the work). But if someone else takes your dishes and stuff away, then do tip (because they’re taking care of you).
Most people who go on quiet dates or want quiet conversation here in the States rarely go to family restaurants. Here, the more expensive or high end usually means the less noisey.
Edward James You must not live in the NY area Edward....I would love to find a restaurant around here that had table cloths, good food, and a quiet atmosphere where you could enjoy a romantic evening. ☺️💕
@@dianawest3976 I am NOT in a huge city like NY and I still would love to find a quiet restaurant in which to dine and have a quiet conversations that are reasonably priced. I don't understand where those restaurants went. As a child I couldn't wait to be an adult and go to the nice restaurants (in rural towns) with large curved booths to sit in, low lighting, mellow music, a dance floor for romantic dancing, and where you could hold calm conversations over a bottle of wine. My parents used to go to them 2-3 nights a week (so they weren't killer prices). NOW THEY ARE GONE....."who moved my cheese?!?!" How do we get them back?!?
The classification of these restaurants is already strange. We just divide in with service, or without service. Of course nobody has a date at McDonalds.
My general rule of thumb: If there’s a kids menu, don’t expect a quiet time.
@Holger P. As a broke teenager, I can definitively say you are wrong, also I went out with my girlfriend and her father to the shooting range as a date so... Needless to say she is better shot than I am. But yes people go to McDonald's on dates if they are poor.
My American, Irish Catholic, Grandfather’s meal time prayer was “Thank God it’s here.” Lol
I can't remember any of my Catholic family saying grace, though I did learn the standard Catholic one at Sunday school ("Bless us oh Lord....") When I was in Scouts, we were expected to say Grace, so people just tended to go with the "God is great. God is good. And we thank him for this food. By his hand, we are fed. We thank you Lord for our daily bread." Or if people felt a bit less reverent: "Good food, good meat. Good God, let's eat."
Short and sweet!
My grandfather had two. One was " father, son, holy ghost, whoever eats fastest gets the most" and the other was " Bless the meat and damn the skin, open your mouth and shove it in"
My school one In England is ‘bless us o lord as we sit together bless the hands that eat the food bless us o lord Amen’ but we say are- men not amen
Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub...Yay God!
A house guest said this one, lol! My parents were SHOCKED!
Server based in Cardiff, Wales here! Typically when it comes to serving tables, there's a reason that we keep away, we don't want to annoy people or get in their way. To people over here, it's seen as really rude and interruptive if they're checked on usually more than once, if they want your attention they'll make it known. That's not to say we don't check in on them regularly, we just do so silently just by glancing at their tables, drinks and faces to see if it's all looking good mood wise. One time my supervisor checked on my table for me and forgot to tell me, so when I went to check on the table the customer exploded in my face demanding privacy, wanted to see the manager and everything.
On the flip side, being in the Welsh capital we get American tourists a lot and some of them say that it seems like we're unenthusiastic to engage with them (because of this etiquette), most of the time when I explain the cultural difference and that we just want to let them have their time how they want it without being interrupted they're fine with it, as a matter of fact only one table didn't understand and was still angry (but they also complained at the start that Welsh was on the first page and English was on the second so I really didn't care what they thought from the get go, don't go for the language in Wales it's an easy way to not be liked lmao)
I'm in Ireland and I get the impression that Americans want to keep you at their table and are oblivious to the other table under your watch. I hope you reminded the customers that complained about Welsh been in the menu what country they were in that's just ignorance.
My husband told me that when he went overseas, he looked for the restaurants where the locals ate, because the food was good and the service was fine. I’m not able to travel but if I was, I sure would be polite to whoever lived in that country. I travel now by viewing different countries on line.
I’m American and I hate the constant checking in. There’s been times they’d come over every 5 minutes. Another time it was so often I actually told her to stay away because she was so disruptive. I told her- watch our glasses, if they’re not empty, don’t stop by. It’s so aggravating because you can’t even have a conversation.
@@rtsharlotte I'm a server in the US, and people make feel me like they don't think about the other tables I could have. Very true.
@@rtsharlotte I so want to say that it is typical of many Americans
My husband spent some time in The Netherlands and adopted the continental style of using utensils. I use mine the American way. Our kids picked up a mixture of both as a result, though they mostly use the continental method. It's much more efficient. One of my daughters-in-law commented on it once, and told us how confused she was when she first started coming to family dinners.
ETA: I don't care how others hold their cutlery, just chew with your mouth closed.
Estimated Time of Arrival?🤔
Agreed.
At PW...Agreed....sound advice...😊
How’s it more efficient? If you hold it upside down food can slide off the fork, I can’t even imagine eating spaghetti that way!
@@barbaro4evr135 you switch from the tines down to up.
When I lived in the States I soon found out that if you want an undisturbed meal tell the server "we have everything we need and I'll give you a nod when we want the bill thank you".
The reasonable way to deal with this issue!
Brilliant advice!
If you have everything you need, and don't intend on ordering more drinks or dessert, then just ask for the bill when they come back to check on your meal. Then, whenever you're ready to pay, put your credit card or cash on/in it in a way that is clearly visible to the server and place it at the edge of your table and they will see it when next they pass your way. If you've decided in the meantime that you'd like that slice of cake after all, just ask them to add it to your bill before they run your card. Your way requires them to keep eyeing you for an hour, hoping to look at you at just the right moment to catch the nod. It's not a terrible method by any means, just less practical, and does require quite a bit more lurking on your server's part.
I remember restaurants...In the before times.
I just eat with my hands now, after I’ve properly bleach-bathed them.
Guy Incognito oh god it’s only been 5 days
After Brexit, they said we might be forced to import bleachy (chlorinated) chicken. We all thought that sounded awful...I miss the before times.
Lol
If I could give multiple thumbs up, you'd get a few for that comment.
I caught myself eating yogurt with a serving spoon the other day. I realized that I'm so tired of WASHING THINGS that I just grabbed whatever clean spoon was close to hand.
My stepdad used to say "If you don't bless the food before you eat it, it goes to hell."
I once finally replied "I don't care where it winds up as long as it goes through my digestive system first."
Maybe spicy food hell is just a bit closer after it is leaving your digestive tract
Ask if there is really a worse fate than being eaten by stomach acid and crapped out.
"...And then he beat me with jumper cables."
I love when they bless the food to "nourish and strengthen us" when its donuts, etc.
🤣
Growing up in Northern Illinois in the United States, we prayed during dinner, which we called supper. Back then, we had breakfast, dinner and supper. Now, because I'm so cosmopolitan 😂I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I really enjoy hearing about the customs of people outside of America.
Agreed 👍🏾
Yeah, they do exist.
seach on all the accents of britain: like I have a have posh and half roadman accent.
I don't mind saying Grace, but what I do detest is when it is used to lay out all sorts of prayers and petitions. Grace is to thank God for the food, not to ask Him to heal your kidney stones or help in a job search. Everyone is hungry, let them eat and save those prayers for a more appropriate time. I know this sounds rude, but I think it is even more rude to use mealtime prayers in that way.
What about the horror when you are at some family's dinner and they all HOLD HANDS THE WHOLE TIME and each person is forced to say something, particularly at Thanksgiving, and you have to come up with the particular acceptable bullshit?!!!
I thought the whole purpose of saying Grace was to make every one at the table feel awkward so to limit conversation.
@@emjayay My introverted, personal-space-loving self is twisting in horror at the very idea!
I barely tolerate having to hold hands with family for the Thanksgiving and Christmas grace, and that's only 20 seconds tops.
i’m a Christian and I agree, thank the food and let’s eat!!
I prefer to thank the farmers, trucker, producers, and the cook for the food. You know, the people who actually had something to do with the meal.
When I was 15 years old I went on a language course in England (mum didn't want me to go to Hastings and speak Swedish with other Swedes, so she sent me to a girls' boarding school for a month), and there we said grace (strange expression, isn't it?):
"For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
I have thought about that practice, and that wording, from time to time ever since.
Getting fed every day is not something to be taken for granted. And the work
put into growing the food and preparing it is not something to be taken for granted, either.
I think it is good to contemplate that and encourage oneself to be grateful for not going to bed starving,
even if one does not direct one's thanks towards a deity.
I like that and totally agree. the labor which goes into farming or is manufactured is something we should acknowledge :) 🌿🌹
This is standard , if anything is said at all, in English schools.
Same prayer in the Sound of Music by Maria at her first family meal.
At the age of 15 i stay a language vacation in South england, as an atheist i was forced to grace . This was disgusting ,emb3rasing and very disturbing to me. It strengthenmy resistance against any form of "believe".
@@kratzikatz1 You could have excluded the lord part. A party leader in Sweden who went the twelve steps to fight her alcoholism did not use the word God (Gud in Swedish) when she said the Serenity prayer, but Gudrun (her name). Yes, her name was exceedingly fitting, but she would have come up with another solution had she had another name.
We watch a lot of British tv shows and have noticed the differences in the way characters hold their forks in particular. Thanks for explaining this as we wondered if that person in the story just had bad manners or the tines down fork was really a thing. It looks so unusual to this American.
It looks unusual to me, Northern Irish. Like, how else would you do it. Predominant utensil in dominant hand. "You cut with your strong hand" is the justification I've heard, but even eating that person's food I don't find I need that much knife...
Also, they keep their hands on the table, whereas US is whatever hand we’re not using is on our lap over the napkin.
My favorite British trait, which I call 'The Prompt'. You likely do it and are completely unaware of it. As you stated the British are by and large a bit more private and stand-offish than Americans. Thus you've perfected the pacifying small talk in interactions with acquaintances or a stranger you are forced to encounter that allows you to be polite but not very engaging.. However, Ive found that when a British person wants to have a more in depth and engaging conversation, they will ask you a question and give this very particular look and motion. Its hard to describe, but essentially they widen their eyes, look directly at you and move their head forward as though they are trying to hear you better, or like they are gesturing for an expected answer ( like wen interrogating a shy child and you ask a question and this same notion lets them know you demand an answer). Its very subtle body language, but says volumes. It says, " Yes, I want to have a REAL conversation with you beyond polite platitudes." I got used to seeing it in England, but recently a British co-worker here in the states, who usually just say hello and moves on came up to me and ask a question and gave 'the prompt'. I almost laughed but instead launched into a nice chat with him.
that's very interesting. I want this that sounds hilarious
I know that look.. The less subtle, the movement and eye movement is, the more trouble you're in and likely to have your mom smack you across the face.
I heard the best way to end a conversation is Britain is to slap your legs and just say in a somewhat louder voice "Well.." and whatever you wish to follow up with. "I gotta go" is my go-to as an American.
Thanks for sharing, that sounds like an incredibly useful cue to give and receive socially, I'm jealous! 👍
what? that look and nod isn't universal!? I had no idea it was a British trait!
We British are NOT "private and stand offish " at all ! We are more reserved
than Americans, and dont leap in with new acquaintances in answering what
WE regard as very personal questions! It is common to be asked by an American
you have just met " and WHAT do you do " as if they are judging whether bothering with you is worth it !
The guy who told you 85% was definitely a server.
😂😂😂
I think "bastard" is the operative word here.
[pǝʇɔɐpǝɹ] : I thought that maybe he was at that bar waiting for his partner (your server) to get off work. That much of a tip is unreal, so large that he could brag and laugh about it later.
I think you didn’t get he was only exaggerating what happened, to give some more drama to the story.
I'm from Paisley in Scotland and we said grace at every meal for the first 14 years of my life til my Gran died. Gran insisted upon it as well as impeccable table manners and etiquette. Please may I leave the table was the only way you were allowed get down from her massive dining chairs when I was a child.
lol. or "May I be excused?"
That's still the way that any child should get down from the table. We used to say grace in primary school. I'd forgotten, until reading this.
My family, and all my extended family, still say "grace" before meals. I never knew it was universally frowned upon.. lol 🙏❤
If a child finishes early, they ask (as well as we did as children), "May I please be excused?" 🥰
I remember decades ago, at a large family gathering, the television had been left on with Nintendo(?) paused. The boys finished early, and asked to leave the table in order to return to their game.
Dessert was served a while later. A small trick was played on them telling them they couldn't have dessert because they had already left the table. Their poor faces and body posture!! 😳😫 Of course, they were invited back and served a few helpings of dessert! Such as growing boys! 😂🥰💙
A lot of Scots emigrated to the mountains of south-eastern USA in the 19th century - I see many many echoes of 'Southern' USA culture in Scottish folks today.
I guess I can thank my Scottish heritage, had the same upbringing here in Canada.
I think nowadays saying "grace" in America is only for super religious families or definitely in the south. It's more of an older tradition that most American families don't really do, at least not for every meal. Yes, maybe just Thanksgiving or Christmas, as the two biggest family / meal holidays.
I remember when I was little and we went to someone else's house for Thanksgiving (long-time friend of the family's, not related) there were like 20 other people there. Everyone got a plate of food, sat down, and the host gave a speech / said grace, then we all started eating. You are very correct that it's like a moment of silence to pay your respects, and then it's time to celebrate (eat and chat).
Also, the chatting part was amusing to me because at any large table with more than 8+ people, most divide up conversations between just the people next to them or across from them. There could be four or five different conversations going on at the same table if it's a large party. If you're in the middle, you might go back and forth looking at one person talking, then a different person talking, and you feel awkward trying to decide whose conversation to listen to, lol
I never cared for saying Grace, but I especially hate being told to hold the germy hands of the people on either side of me at the table, while someone says some prayer that they prefer. Ick!
@@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042 oh gosh, I hope people don't make you do that anymore! Usually you just bow your head slightly and close your eyes, and if need be, put your hands in the praying position 🙏
My grandmother remarried to an Englishmen when my mother and her siblings where very young. They were taught the "English" way to use their utinsils. All the grandchildren where taught the same way. It wasn't uncommon to hear other families say how well mannered we all where at the dinner table. We were just doing what we were taught.
That's because the Continental way of holding utensils is much more basic and requires less hand eye coordination to master. Give a kid a fork and he will grab it. Holding it delicately balanced as we do is harder for kids to master.
@@TheRagingPlatypus I am surprised by your comment, unless you missed out a word and so I misunderstood it. The Continental way of holding utensils appears far more elegant to me, more delicate and careful and considered. It requires quite a lot of skill, and takes years to learn to do properly. For example it's entirely counter-intuitive and requires a lot more care and planning to transport loose items into your mouth via the tines of a fork than it does simply scooping them. There is also a lot less clatter, if you're not having to constantly put down your knife.
Our family always holds hands and says grace at family dinners. Especially Thanks giving where we each say what we are grateful for and Christmas when we thank God for Christ and His blessing on us.
Same here. We hold hands and say grace in unison. I think it's sweet and strengthens our bond as a family.
When we'd say grace when I was a kid we'd always hold hands. My grandpa would always be next to me. After "Amen" he'd say "Squeeze!!" and squeeze my hand. It was the best.
That's cute. :)
good memories
This is so wholesome 💗
A squeeze of the hand is saying “I love you”.
For context, I was raised Baptist but concerted to Catholicism in high school with my parents. I've found that my baptist family say grace much more regularly than the Catholic friends my parents invited over. Baptist grace tended to be very free form, based on whatever is going on for the people at the meal at that time, while Catholic grace is usually a specific prayer with maybe a short specific thanks given at the end. I also didn't often run into hand holding; that tends to be a special gathering thing for both but slightly more common with Catholics
Yes, I also noticed over the years that my Baptist friends and family say Grace more consistently and frequently than my Catholic friends. And yes it is more freeform. I include what is currently happening at that time as well as the moment.❤
Coming from a mixed Ctholic/Protestant family, the Catholic side did seem much more wed to rote ritual ...
As a Catholic: "Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." It's basically mandatory. Although we do often offer specific causes the prayer is intended to serve, generally before the prayer.
Holding hands during prayer is very Southern no matter which Christian sect you belong to.
I always call the Baptist/Protestant type of prayer the "we just" prayer.
A few years ago I learned that holding utensils as in England, fork in left-tines down and knife in right, eating is much easier. I don't have to keep switching utensils in order to get the cutting done.
It's very common to cut up two or three bites worth, then switching and putting the knife down to eat. It seems a bit more relaxed to me, not always grasping both utensils as you eat, not needing to do work for each bite, and adds some pacing, kind of like breaks in between eating sessions. The 'cutting time' is also the time where you may ask a question, then start eating while listening to the answer.
@@pastacat5518 It's actually easier for me to eat as I use the fork and knife the way I do. I can keep my focus on my dinner companion just as well by not having to switch hands. To each his own.
@Jkinsg92 You're the one acting like a stuck-up man-child, I hate to tell you. "Waaah, I care so much about what everyone else does! I have a stick up my arse!"
People can eat whatever way they want. They can eat a steak with a spoon if they want, and then use said spoon to gather up all of your salty tears while you cry in the corner.
I'm an American and yes we are loud, I dislike to talk when I'm eating and people's annoying kids running around.
Born in MASS Tea Party : my husband usually has his mouth full when they ask, so he just nods now. Much worse are those parents who let their unmannered children raise havoc (running around screaming, grabbing food off other people’s plates, and/or having a tantrum). Our (now grown) children knew that they better behave and so do their own children.
Utensil "etiquette" has always been funny to me. But I've actually realized in recent years how much I appreciate the general American style of only picking up the knife to make a few cuts, then going back to the fork only. It slows the meal deal, and allows it to be more of a social experience. The time I've spent in Europe (Germany, in particular), I always felt the meal was rushed with both utensils constantly in-hand and not taking a break. The one big exception to this in my European travel/living has been the French countryside, where multiple courses, multiple drink pairings (even a meal at someone's house - I'm not talking about going out to eat), where the pacing slows things down and promotes that communal element that I so love about food and drink.
My family...both sides, supper or Sunday dinner (2pm) was always an hour minimum, holidays even longer. Lots of talking and laughing as well as eating. Very relaxing and enjoyable.
I'm American & remember a time when restaurants weren't so noisy... I find it very annoying myself. Higher end restaurants seem to be quieter for the most part, but honestly I almost never go out to eat anymore...
I looove when restaurants have a piano player
It has a lot to do with the style and construction of a restaurant, really. Consider a fast food restaurant or diner. Typically one large open space and everything is hard surfaces. So when people talk noise tends to bounce around. Add in a lot of people there at the time, each trying to be heard, and slowly ratcheting up the volume so their table mates can understand them over the babble and it gets pretty loud. Also it's culturally expected so people tend not to bat much of an eye.
In slower dining restaurants there is going to be a lot more noise-deadening fabric. Carpets on the floor, tablecloths, curtains and plants all around. It's fairly common such places to include other noise-dampening ideas too, like tall dividers between sections or deliberate noise-cancelling designs and materials. With less echoing and a culture that has people more keep their voices down they are a lot quieter.
Re: the server checking "how are you doing?"
There's an element of common law regarding "innkeepers" that says that if the customer isn't satisfied with the service provided, he has no obligation to pay for it. Having the server check back with the customer gives them an opportunity to mention any shortcomings in the food or service. When it comes time to pay, the customer can't avoid paying if they have raised no objections to that point.
I'm not a lawyer, but I did take Business Law about 50 years ago, so base your comments on that.
We are Christian, but my husband and I never said Grace or a prayer at meals (I’ve always found it such an arbitrary time to pray). My parents came for Thanksgiving when our daughter was about 3, and asked her to ‘say Grace’. Poor kid was very confused about why Grandma and Grandpa wanted her to say her middle name out loud at the table. 😂
Tried to teach the swimming game Marco Polo to a new family member from El Salvador. I demonstrated saying "Marco" and explained the ins-and-outs of the rules about having to reply "Polo" so long as your head is above water, while if you're underwater, you can always pretend you don't hear. After we played a couple rounds, I told him it was his turn. He called out my first name, at which point I explained that it isn't "[Your Name Here] Polo" if the other person *isn't* named Marco.
Extremely not arbitrary time to pray...in fact the most poignant time to do so. What better time than to thank for sustenance and survival. Furthermore, in our modern lives, the time when we're all together.
What kind of “Christian” are you? Not thankful for God’s provisions? Wow. 😕
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats The kind that has a personal relationship with my savior, talks with and thanks Him when I am in connection with Him, and the kind that doesn’t judge people on the internet for thinking differently than me. ☺️
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats
Saying something does not equate feeling it.
Not saying something does not equate NOT feeling it.
I am in the process of teaching my 11 year old daughter to distinguish between good religion(s) and bad religion(s), genuine religious sentiment and secterist thinking. As the bad examples, I am using certain murderous psychopathic hordes (no need to name them more specifically) but also the far less numerous but equally deluded and psychopathic people in the U.S. who a couple of decades ago murdered doctors that performed abortions.
"In my wife's words I still eat like a toddler"
Me: welcome to the club
D. Price ikr
I'd hope none of that food would be thrown and sticking to the walls.
I can't even tell you how many times the waitress has asked how everything tastes when I'm clearly still chewing my first bite. XD I mean I love the enthusiasm but let me chew!
The other fun one is when they come by and see three fourths of your plate is uneaten then ask, "Are you done? Can I take that for you?" If I *am* done after eating only 1/4 of my meal, that would say something pretty crappy about your food, wouldn't it?
You do know that literally everything in an American restaurant is reliant on you not ordering the third drink or desert, right? Seriously prohibition plagues the US to this day.
@@tejaswoman Like I said the restaurant industry is still stuck in the prohibition era because they don't have to pay their employees and make a few dollars extra.
Been to a British Wetherspoons? Company driven here as well.
I bet the "how's everything?" when you've just taken a bite is not an accident. They can be seen as attentive, but you are almost guaranteed to just give a thumbs up and not ask for anything, and they can move on quickly.
“I just sat there because I didn’t know what to do” yep you did the correct thing
Yep. Just sit there feeling awkward. That wasn't because you were British and new to it - it's like that for all of us.
At my table, we held hands and said grace for every meal. When the kids brought their friends over, we still did it. I was surprised that their friends enjoyed it, too. It was never mandatory, but rather grateful and joyful for being together with God and the food we had.
I was at a meeting one time and the lady leading our group asked us to stand and hold hands to say grace before our luncheon meal. We did and then sat down to the meal. Someone commented that it was really sweet to have us hold hands. She replied that it was tradition in her family. She had several brothers and sisters and making them hold hands to say grace gave everyone an equal start at the food and no one was able to sneak a bite while all eyes were closed.
Huh?... holding hands is very normal thing during a food blessing. Has nothing to do with keeping people from starting eating early.
Not such a good idea in the current climate though.
Mer Maid In her family it seems to have had a double purpose. As a parent of 5, I thought it was hysterical and a good idea! My hubby had to make a rule that no one could take a bite u til mom took her first bite, otherwise I might miss out on the food and the feeding frenzy was a sight to behold. It’s just a way of teaching manners, don’t be a pig at the trough.
No, nononono. I despise holding hands to say grace. My hands are clean when I sit down to eat. I don’t want to hold someone else’s hand who might not have washed theirs well, if at all, before eating. I also hate people who know you coming up to your table while eating out and wanting to converse and possibly shake hands. I’m eating, don’t breathe on my food, and again, I don’t want to touch your possibly disgusting hands.
tammynwes Ok, good point! Especially these days!
I agree with you about the servers in the US... they are usually omnipresent or scarce... it’s quite rare to get one in between... I long for the days when the servers actually watched the tables and responded promptly to anyone needing something...
One time we were deserted by our waitress and my husband and son wanted coffee refills. My son could see the coffee station nearby and just got up and grabbed the pot himself. Needless to say there was a very small tip. One time we had a waitress take our order and then go on a break. We had to get the manager to get our food. My husband left one penny to show how the service was.
Whenever i talk with American people my English accent/politeness gets stronger and stronger until i start sounding like i'm in a Jane Austin novel.
Ha!
Hahaha!!
😂
If someone started speaking to me as if I were in an Austen novel, I'd probably offer to buy them a meal. I'm a sucker for well-spoken language in a lovely accent. Either that or it's because I'm currently living in Florida and desperate for culture.
Your proud to be english that's a good thing everyone should take pride on where there from and the way they talk.
You are cracking me up! This is great!
1. My mom wished we were British growing up in the early 80s - 90s. I was literally taught how to use cutlery the European way. So much so, that it was hard for me to learn the American way. But, let's be honest, American forks and knives are far less efficient. And my mom taught us to do it with "elegance".
2. I've seen praying in a number of ways. Mine was fairly subdued. German paternal background, mom wanting us to be British.
3. The restaurants are wild! I understand that there will be a variety of people and interactions at a restaurant. It's a trip sometimes! It's sometimes comparable to attempting to control the volume of students in a school cafeteria. Yikes, cafeteria duty is exhausting!
3. I've been a server. The biggest bummer was getting business men at lunch, the "Suits" or Europeans. Lol! Not sure about the suits, but we always knew people from other countries have a different culture around tipping. We never served them differently. We understood the cultural difference. The hourly rate for servers is still approximately $2.33/hr in my home city and state, in 2023.
Same as it was in 1993. Wow! That is why I teach my students to completely understand percentage. Lol!
Seriously though, my 25 year old daughter makes BANK as a server and bartender. She will have a hard time when she has to take jobs entry level in mental health because she's studying to become a licensed therapist at the University. Thus far she's paid for all of her classes and lives on her own.
4. I think your content is great. Furthermore I really appreciate that you state disclaimers of sorts before you share information. It is a very responsible way to share what you've experienced, despite being married into a US family. Sound data from a diverse and large sample with a specific hypothesis and experimental design is the "best" way we can examine differences or test a question. So, I legitimately appreciate your comments and appreciation of regional, personal, etc., differences. You don't broad stroke purposely in the least, yet you hit the nail on the head often. Well done!
I had the same experience with the whole "grace" thing as an exchange student (I'm Australian. We're not particularly known for doing the grace thing here.)
My host family did it, they even went to church on sunday mornings, even though they weren't particularly devout "believers".
There seems to be an entire culture based around "being seen to be " over "actually being."
As an "American" that's what makes me the most annoyed, people who do stuff just to be seen as doing it.
My parents do this but more for the reason that, ‘I haven’t really focused on God lately this week, I’ll go to church Sunday to at least get the gospel.’
Some of the heavier religious areas really influence pressure on not going to church and stuff. But it's becoming a lesser problem nowadays. Majority nowadays seem to not care as much about going to church unless you're truly religious, I think it may be due to the newer generations vs older generations. My great grandma and grandpa were way more religious than my grandma and grandpa. My mom and all her siblings never go to church but believe in god. My siblings and I give 0 ducks about any of it. This seems to be on trend with all my friends as well.
That's a very accurate assessment of a large portion of American Christians
You are hanging around with the wrong people.
Southerners in America are a whole different breed than the north
Claire Y are they? I wonder how so...I’m honestly curious.
@@DSkye-n7m - The Bible Belt.
Curious exactly how you mean? I'm born and raised Southern, but half my family is from up North, and I am likely to agree same as disagree lol.
@@rylian21 But how does that impact the behaviors being discussed? A friend moved back to Kentucky after decades in SF to help his elderly parents. He said everyone there was very courteous, very helpful, and dumb as a box of rocks.
@@rylian21 Lol...you just showed how ignorant you are. Yes, there are SOME Southerners who "stoopid" at a level that defies explanation...but I have met ample ppl in many other places all over the U.S. that could just as well apply to. There will always be those "shining examples" in virtually any area.
I wish there were more quiet restaurants in America. I hate eating in loud places.
Right now they're pretty dang quiet. Too bad ya can't go.
Or when someone has their cellphone on speaker and you REALLY don't want to hear it
@@craigslater2321 It depends on the restaurant. I hate when people have loud ringtones, I really hate that. Phones vibrate for a reason. Or people give their kids a game to play or something and the volume is all the way up and the parents do nothing about it. Recently, I was at a restaurant, and sitting not far from a family, and their youngest daughter would just randomly scream, not like cry, I mean literally *scream* they'd apologize and try to prevent it from happening but it's still like, really? If you know your kid will scream don't take them to a restaurant, you don't know if someone may have sensitive hearing or what. That goes with fork scrapers too. Some people scrape their forks ridiculously loud sometimes.
@@sallyphillips9175 They're quiet, but so is the kitchen
I wish they were more quiet too. I also wish restaurants were better lit. Low light gives me headaches. It seems like middle priced restaurants are always low lighting. Cheap places have better lighting and expensive places depends on what type of atmosphere they try to project. But those sit down, average priced places always have low lighting with a yellow tint.
Tipping is weird here in Australia too. Usually only in more posh restaurants. My daughter was a waitress in a high class restaurant and did get tips often but any average restaurants do not tip. They might have a tip jar at the register but that's it
My wife who’s an Anglican priest does a nice quick grace. “Lord thank you for this snack that keeps our belly from our back. Amen.” Job done! Lol
I. Find it funny that they always ask about the meal when your mouth is full lol
Yes, the same school of humour as the darn dentists. Mouth full of their fingers and implements and they want to get chatty.
Lol to be fair, some servers do that because they don’t want you to be able to answer 😆
NOT funny; bloody annoying!
👍👍
I’m Faroese, and “saying grace” is somewhat common with Faroese families. My friend’s family used to _sing_ grace. Was really awkward for me, because I don’t sing and his entire family are choir singers.
That sounds pretty cool - wish I could hear them!
I've never met anyone with your nationality! interesting stuff
@@May-gr8bp Have you ever heard the Faroese singer, Eivor? She sings in Faroese and English. Faroese is the purest form of language spoken by the Vikings. When she sings with throat singing and a drum, in "Trollabunden" it's riveting!
I grew up saying grace in Texas. I think singing grace sounds beautiful, especially in Faroese, which is a very lovely sounding language. My family is Norwegian-American, so we have Norwegian prayers that we say at the table before a meal.
I had an amusing story from my tweenaged years where a friend who's family was all about using the proper eating etiquette got annoyed at me for the way I eat. See, I'm ambidextrous, and with my upbringing being almost literally in a barn, I had essentially no concept of which hand is supposed to hold the knife, etc etc.
I was just this weird little girl who would constantly swap which hand the knife or fork is in, sometimes swapping mid bite or cutting or whatever. It was really really funny at the time, and honestly even funnier to me now that this kid cared so much about his friend eating "wrong."
I know Americans must think servers here are terribly rude but I would much prefer to be left alone and flag someone down if I need them than have to talk to them every 5 minutes. I'm not a social creature and having to constantly interact with strangers over the course of a whole meal sounds like literal hell to me.
I'm American and I agree with you.
see, to americans, because they come up so often, it would actually seem kinda rude to flag down a waiter. or it would seem as if the waiter isn't doing a good enough job. (or if you're in a rush, it's usually fine for that.) it's not a nuisance, really, it's a nice thing to have people fill up your water right when you need it. you don't need to have a full conversation with them every single time, it's just a nice thing.
I agree. I hate being bothered in restaurants. I travel to the USA quite a bit and get really annoyed at being asked if everything is ok every 5 minutes. If I have a problem, I'll ask for you. Leave me alone! What's worse though is that in non-tipping jobs the customer service is terrible there which makes it more obviously fake.
It's more like every 8 minutes, not quite that often
My wife and I went to a place in Eastern San Diego County that had little flags you ran up at your table if you wanted service or to be left alone. Simple yet effective.
Our family asks the blessing over our food at every meal whether at home or in public.
I think the difference is that almost no one is religious in the U.K. I’m 60 and I don’t know anyone who has a religious belief. If they did have then I guess they may do a meal prayer.
@@courgette3401 That’s a sweeping generalisation .. the British just don’t flaunt it and make a big thing in public .. it’s a personal thing not something that you have to be seen to do. ... you just do.
@@courgette3401 I'm 58 and was brought up Catholic in the UK ( strict Catholic) I think saying Grace is just something not done, on the whole, in the UK. I had lots of C of E friends who were the same.
If you are eating at one of those American fast food chains you'll need all the blessing you can get.
Same with my family. Every meal-- at home or at a restaurant.
Tipping in the UK is more like “keep the change”
When I was younger I thought that’s what tipping was in the USA as well.
not really - its 10-30 % of the bill .... but unlike America you don't have to tip in the uk And MOST places don't carry a service charge like America . In America - some places pay shitty wages far below our minimum wage which is LAW for all industries here . EGO and social status is derived in huge amounts in the USA ( culture ) via tipping but not so much in the UK
Worth noting that generally, the price of food in your typical restaurant in America is X cheaper than in comparison to the UK. A meal out in the UK is more of a treat, a special occasion. Once a month maybe? In America it’s often just what you do multiple times a week. Unless your wealthy, nobody in the UK could afford to eat out especially as a whole family to replace the normal evening meal. So tipping in America makes more sense aside from the staff wages, but in the UK you are already paying a high price for the food and drink. So the concept of tipping, adding even more to a bill seems to us Brits pretty crazy. It is polite to leave a tip of course, more often than not the service isn’t great, and if it is you’ve likely paid a lot for what you had. Hence reach for the change!
@@Anakinuk007 Everything that you have said applies to Australia as well.
@@nariter some Americans think that too. -_-
Off subject but here’s a shoutout for your glasses. The shape is great. I swore I wouldn’t wear large glasses again (I was there for an earlier iteration 40 years ago) but now I’m thinking maybe I could wear these now.
You see...... In Romania we say "grace" (thank you God for the meal) at the end, when we finished eating.
Two comments: Tipping and British accents. I worked as a guide in Alaska. Tipping is expected. But if you hear that British sound emanating from a pale Anglo mouth, you just do your job without hope. Once though three English women were on a tour in the wilderness to see bears, I actually found a few for them. (It doesn't always happen.) They had such a marvelous time. At the end as I was walking them to their ferry to get back to their cruise ship one woman said to me "We've heard we should tip. So the three of us pitched in and this is for you." She gave me a small wade of cash. Needless to say I was shocked. It would have been impolite to look to see how much in front of them, but suddenly I felt that all was right with the world. They hopped on the small boat and departed, confident that they had been the best of guests. I then braved a peek at the wad of sweet green cash. Three single dollar bills. (To be fair once and only once I did receive a twenty dollar bill from a Brit. It was such a scene of weeping and cultural reconciliation that the recent unfortunate events of 1776 were completely forgiven.)
Secondly: The fork is King.
Georgian Crossroads
Yes but I bet you didn’t pay your taxes with it
Most eating places in the UK add a 20% service charge to the bill anyway, this is the tip, plus the UK minimum wage is a lot higher than the US..
That service charge is 1) absolutely NOT “most places” and 2) ALWAYS voluntary and near-universally declined.
It’s sad you thought all was right with the world when they tipped. All is right when you get paid properly and don’t rely on literal begging.
"How's that tenderloin?" made me spew my beverage, lol.
"All good mate, could do with another pint though, cheers". What I'm actually thinking: "None of your sodding business noseyparker, I'm trying to have a bloody conversation with me bird now leave us alone before I narrow my eyebrows at your stupid smiling gob."
there's always a tad bit of disdain when Europeans talk about the good old Americans isn't there? LOL
It bothers my husband only because he usually has his mouth full when they ask. It’s much worse to have a server who seems to avoid you, especially during non-hectic times.
I get it, and I'm vegetarian!
I'm an American, from North Carolina, and we always say grace at family gatherings, similar to how you described. You will also sometimes see people do this at restaurants too, depending on the area.
Pay tips in the uk in cash as its widely known that when you tip by card it's unlikely the company will pay that to the server.
Wow, that's awful! l tip in cash so the people don't have to declare it as income. Yes, there was a time l was a server.
I just want to say: I LOVE your American accent impersonations! They're hilarious. Please keep doing them 😁
The way you showed the utensil etiquette for Britain is the way I learned how to properly use them when I was growing up, and I'm from Texas, so at least some of us Americans are on the same page. Of course, I have eaten the other way when eating alone at times I'm not concerned with proper etiquette, but whenever I go to a Dining In (I'm in the military) or any other formal dining event, I make sure to use proper etiquette, and I hold the fork and knife in the exact way you demonstrated as the "British" way.
Like my mother used to say, "your fork is not a shovel" and if I shut my eyes I can convince myself you are David Mitchell.
Jo Brand
So, how do you eat mashed potatoes or other soft foods?
@@sweetcanada17 yesss and rice
How do you eat rice or couscous or lentils and things like that?
Sweet Canada and Andrew--
Unless your mashed potato is disgusting, made from a supermarket packet and nearly liquid, same way. Mashed potato hangs together perferctly well to use a fork held in "knife and fork" position. Peas and lentils you squash a bit against the fork with the knife. If you have scored both peas AND mash, it is OK to glue the peas to the fork with the mash, again with the knife.
For a fork-only meal, the fork is held upside-down, as in the US, but higher levels of etiquette say don't swap hands. (Same with spoons and forks-don't swap hands if it is spoon-only). I suspect that because the upper class set the rules of etiquette, they set them to suit meat-eaters. Soft foods were for poor people without money or teeth. You eat your meat bit by bit, using knife and fork as you go, you don't chop it up in advance. And if your cook has made mashed potato, it will be of upper-class consistency, not peasant gruel.
Of course, if you've chopped all your food up first then abandoned your knife so you can swap hands and eat like a toddler, that doesn't work. In THAT case - -
"I eat my peas with honey, / I've done it all my life, / it makes the peas taste funny, / but it keeps them on my knife" 🙄😇
Come to think of it, Americans might not understand that, since they seem to put syrup or honey on everything, even "pancakes and bacon", and put the knife away, so would never have received a parental admonition not to lick their knife or use their fork like a shovel. (What a loss to humanity and culture!!! 😍)
I eat most things the “American way” except steak. When I was little, I picked up one of those Emily Post books on etiquette and it showed the English way of holding the knife and fork, though with a transition into the American way of holding the fork once an appropriate amount (I believe 3 pieces was ideal) of steak was cut into bite sized pieces for consumption. Silly but I still eat it this way.
I was in the Navy for 6 years and on my first deployment we stopped in Portsmouth, England. My buddy and I found a pub off the main street and we were the only two in there. Asked if tipping is standard and has said not normally but if we were inclined to he would put it towards a charity (he had a box for it). We tipped every drink.
You don't normally tip in pubs for drinks, but that was really kind of you.
@@Sophie.S.. right, he told us that it was normally done, but we tipped anyway because he said he would put it towards a charity. He put each tip in the box. So I guess you could say we donated after.
Don't remember the charity exactly but I think it was a children's charity of some sort.
@@militarymaster07
That was very nice of you lads !
I guess the charity box would normally just be gifted small change....
🤗🇬🇧
My paternal grandparents emigrated from Sweden. It was a given that a meal at FarMor and FarFar’s ( Father’s mother and Father’s father) included the Swedish table grace, in Swedish. If I am asked to give the grace, I usually say it in Swedish, and then again in English. Needless to say, I am very proud of my Swedish heritage! I also have UK roots, back to the Domesday Book, with English, Scottish, Welsh and Irish ancestors. I found it very easy to adopt the continental method of holding the fork in the left hand all the time. Do you know why we Americans switch hands when using our forks? It came about during the Revolutionary War. The Patriots wanted to break ties with all things British, and that included how we hold our fork to insert food into our mouths. Just a little trivia😁
I learned this fact as a teenager visiting the grandparents of a friend. They told me I ate like a pioneer. I don’t think it was a compliment.
La Di It’s a compliment, sometime in the past I said to my husband that he was eating like a wild animal
biggest difference: in an American restaurant, they serve each diner a portion large enough to feed a small country, then ask if you want a takeaway box. in a UK restaurant, they serve you almost but not quite enough for you to feel stuffed, and when they say "fancy some dessert?" it's always, "why, yes, that would be lovely."
But you can't say thout about the Sunday Roast at a pub... I really really miss England. No sarcasm here.
@@casieperry9047 yeah, we had our sunday roast at a roastery. but everywhere else, there was always room for dessert.
Man I would love that. In America I always feel like I'm wasting food/money for not eating the mountain of food on my plate right away.
Even if I try to find the smallest possible thing on the menu, it ends up being bigger than my head
@@SpookyGhostpeppers it's simple. As for a doggie bag, and have the leftovers the next day.
I think it’s wasteful to serve more than a normal portion. All that food that goes back to the kitchen? Or taken home in a doggy bag to just be tossed out three days later. Not very environmentally conscious, if you ask me. Just serve a portion normal people can finish and tell them they can order free extra fries or rice or something. (My mother always told me to clean my plate and i still feel guilty when i can’t)
That way the guests might stay for desserts and coffee, and that’s a win-win, because more courses=more money.
"Tuck in" I learned through the Vicar of Dibley! (The Christmas special where she was invited to three Christmas lunches.)
@Lost in the Pond My granny was adamant that you NEVER EVER use a knife in order to cut potatoes.
I think this stems back to the times when cutlery was indeed silverware and when knifes were made entirely out of some sort of silver-alloy, or were at least silver-plated. Cutting potatoes with a silver knife would expose the blade to the starch and proteins of the potato which could lead to the blade becoming tarnished.
She also taught me that you should not use your fork to scoop up food like it was a spoon.
We were only allowed solid silver tableware...ie cutlery...
Did she also use a horn spoon to eat a boiled egg? The egg tarnishes silver.
@@janetmackinnon3411 For this purpose she had an extensive collection of porcelain and mother-of-pearl spoons. 🙂
@@ngw1976So that's the reason for non-metal spoons. I always assumed they were collector items, just for looking at, not using! But I grew up with stainless steel "silverware."
I might be a barbarian, I eat almost everything with a spoon, even use the edge to cut with. 🤔🤓🍻
“Bless us oh lord for these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, amen.” Grace said by Catholics in America.
catholic from asia, we dat too...
My Catholic grandma used to say that. I didn't know.it was all Catholics
Anglicans in Canada do that one too.
My grandfather would say it so fast it all slurred together!
My protestant mother and her family always said, "Dear Lord, thank you for the food we are about to recieve and bless it to the nourishment of our body." My dad said, "God is good. God is great. Let us thank him for this food."
As an American, I hate, hate, hate it when people hold their cutlery with fisted hands. I feel like I'm eating with a caveman or with someone raised in a barn 😫
Edit: Guys, I don't openly tell people their way of holding cutlery bothers me. I would never do that to a guest or person I was eating out with. That's rude and none of my business. I just have a very human, moment's gut reaction of surprise when I first notice how they're holding their stuff, because I'm not used to it. But, my reaction doesn't go beyond that. I'm never attempting to make the other person feel bad with my subjective pov of how this type of table manner/etiquette should look like. My original comment was just a bit of late night hyperbole. That is all.
Why waste energy hating the way someone chooses to feed themselves? Doesn't hurt anyone.
@@ig7002 Because table manners still matter. I'm not preoccupying myself with thoughts of this pet peeve on the daily. It's just bewildering to see, because a significant enough number of people seem to do that here, but I also never saw that--except in children--until very recently. It just takes me aback, like if I were witnessing a strange phenomenon. We all have those things that cause that kind of emotion in us. Cutlery, apparently, is mine.
@@ig7002 because it looks repulsive, especially when I'm eating
This is the most cringe thing I've ever heard someone be bothered by.
@writerspen010 You’re not alone. I also cannot stand it! Whenever I see someone eating like that I can’t help but think to myself, “didn’t your parents teach you any manners?!” 🤦🏼♀️
Being a member of the LDS (Mormon) Church, we have always said a blessing on the food. My wife is from the Philippines, but I met her in the UK in Norwich ( she also is an LDS member), I met her at church there. Every time we went to dinner with other Filipinos (LDS or other beliefs) we always said a blessing. It’s cultural I guess.
Best prayer before dinner imo:
“God’s neat, let’s eat.”
Lol, my uncle taught me that one
Here’s another one!
“Rubs dub dub, thanks for the grub, Yay Jesus!😆
Then there is “Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yay, God!”
Good food, good meat, good god, let’s eat
Glen Reese another fun one my grandpa used to do was:
“Three potatoes for four of us, thank God there ain’t no more of us, pass the cake for goodness sake, Amen.”
Father, son and Holy Ghost, the one who eats the fastest gets the most.
This was spot on (as an American who has family in the UK and has spent a lot of time there.) I love it that restaurant servers in the UK keep their distance from the tables. My pet peeve is being constantly interrupted during meals - and that behavior seems to have got/gotten worse in the US in recent years. It wasn’t always like that here.
It's due to tipping culture. They'd rather over-service you so you don't have the "well, you barely did anything" excuse.
Yeah, some waiters do it too much, but in my experience, it's usually not that bad. They come at sensible times like when a drink is empty, after we recently got our food, or we are almost done.
Then again, I'm a bit extroverted. I bet introverts would just hate it no matter what because "oh no, I have to talk!"
And they always seem to time it so you have your mouth full, don't they?
🙋🏼♀️ I grew up saying grace at every family sit down dinner. (Which was probably about 5 nights a week.)
"I eat like a toddler." I feel you. I have anarchistic cutlery habits myself. (The left, which on me is the clumsy hand, holds the knife, because all it has to do is saw. The right, my skillful hand [only in comparison to my left], handles the spearing and shoveling, which are variously employed, with various grips, depending on the nature of the food. No wonder I never get dinner invitations.)
Do you shovel with a fork as well? If you do, may I ask why? Wouldn't a spoon be more useful?
I prefer to use my skillful hand for the knife part because I don't like bloody food. Then again the skillful hand to get the food into my mouth instead of in my nose.
I do similarly, I have arthritis in my hands and either I do whatever works or I don’t eat or I make a huge mess trying to eat ‘properly’. It varies a lot by utensils, too - some places have utensils I find quite hard or painful to grip well so I’m more toddler-esque in those places. (We spent quite some time finding utensils for our house that I was comfortable holding so at least my manners at home are reasonable most of the time.)
True story: When I was in kindergarten (age 5), the teacher said we were going to have a minute of silence. (I don't know what tragic event occurred). She said to just bow your head and say a little prayer.
So I did as instructed, and said to myself:
"Dear heavenly Father, Thank You for this food, amen"
LOL LOL
As a child, I thought saying grace before a meal was a means of warding off food poisoning.Your guess was probably as good as mine. 😆
we STAN tho
LOL😁😻
So cute!!!
Love that British sense of humor.
My grandparents were from Britain and Scotland so I know about the chatter and the differences at meals, I remember improper use of fork and knife or too much chatter brought a smack on the hand with the handle of a dinner knife lol. Don't know if it was that way for you but you sure bring back funny memories. Thank you for your posts.:)
As an American server, the only time i hear an accent and feel dread, is when they are French. But i worked in a casino that got a lot of French tourists and they'd get a coupon for a free meal at our diner. The coupon did not include a tip and we had signs, in french, that said tipping appreciated and it said the same on the coupons because they NEVER tipped anything, and they still didn't tip. Sense we had so many of French people coming in because of a special promotion the casino ran, the servers threw a fit about it and they started adding $2 as a tip on each coupon so that the servers would serve them without throwing fits to the managers.
So that experience burned me on the French as a server. Most tourists and foreigners are actually good tippers because they are so worried about it because they don't really understand it. If they ask me about it, i just show them on their receipt that there are calculated tip suggestions for 10% 15% and 20% and that 10 is basically acceptable service, 15 is good service and 20 is great service guidlines
Here in California 20- 30% is pretty standard. These days most pwoplw are tipping higher bexause they know how long the servers went without.
In my experience French people are just mostly rude. 20% is pretty standard in my area but it is Napa Valley. I usually double the tax (18%) or divide total by 5 (20%).
Everywhere expect America don’t tip. It’s annoying having to pay 15% more
I (in the Pacific Northwest of the US) start at 20% tip & go up or down based on service quality. I'll never go below 15% unless the service was truly atrocious (or if there's no table service), & even then I think the lowest I've gone is 10%.
It's long past time to raise the tipped-employee minimum wage.
Im sorry, but just because i ordered expensive food, doesn't mean you are getting tipped more. That logic is so stupid, you should tip based on how good you think the service was, and based on your income. I make 30k a year, you did super good, i might tip you $8-$10, if you did solid, you get about $4-$5, if you were meh, maybe $2-$3, and if you were shit, you ain't getting nothing.
Parents who allow their kids to wander around in a restaurant should be asked to leave.
Simon Templar Agreed. I have had kids come sit at my table with me, and take food from my plate. No parents in sight. I have considered carrying pre-printed notes to pin onto unsupervised children. I love businesses that post signs saying "unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy". My notes wouldn't be so kind.
@@giabarrone7422 😂😂I witnessed s brat recently beg to have a starter and a main meal after being told he wouldn't eat it all. Parents indulged him of course. Not only did he not eat his food he ran all round the restaurant and then was given a dessert. There should be an exam to pass before you're allowed to be a parent.
Agreed.
Agree. I think they should have a separate section for children. On one particular occasion my husband and I had our nice meal disrupted by children running around the restaurant yelling. Irritated me that I spent my money to be disturbed
@@annseabolt6645 it all depends on the restaurant. If you're eating at Applebee's or Dennys, families with children are just part of the deal. Fine dining? Nice restaurants? I agree. Generally, just don't take kids under 5 or so, and only ones who know how to act.
I’m really introverted and having waiters come to my table every few minutes makes me nervous
We've as a family dropped the custom of saying grace before every meal but Thanksgiving is an exception where we *always*, and individually, give thanks to God for our blessings in the year passed
I remember in the UK, I would generally leave a tip, I had no idea it wasn't common practice. While travelling, I always paid cash, so, I would often get say, a fifteen pound check, (That's the cost, not the weight) put in eighteen pounds exactly, and have the server come back with the three single pounds, putting it on the table with the check. After having the slightly embarrassing "No, no, that's for you, thank you very much for the service." conversation, I realized you have to tell the server you are leaving a tip when you pay, or etiquette will not allow them to just keep the extra, even when there is _no explanation_ for those three extra pound coins, except that it's a tip. I love Britain.
In Japan, the server would run down the block to give you back your money. Tipping culture has gone extremely rampant in the US.
C N : when I went to Japan at the end of 1972, I thought that each yen coins was equal to our quarter ($0.25). I had had that very long flight over from California to Tokyo, bringing my three month old daughter. Our flight was very late so I had to stay overnight. Not understanding the tip rate there, I made sure to tip the staff at the nice hotel what I thought was a few dollars in yen coins. I found out later why I made such a big impression with my tipping. Each coin turned out to be about a dollar in USA money back then.
In the Netherlands we have a keep-the-change sort of tipping culture, but I really hate when the customer doesn't say "keep the change". Especially British people just say "thank you" in a sort of way that I, as a non-native English speaker, should infer that I can keep the change.
@@cn8299 In Japan, tipping is considered offensive. Don't do it.
The converational noise level in restaurants has risen, in my opinion, when the "industrialized" look became popular. Former mills and other manufacturing facilities were repurposed. That made for decor with hard surfaces that reflect sound. Gone were the draperies, curtains and carpets that absorbed sound. The music in many establishments is also intruding loud making it difficult to converse. People naturally started talking louder to be heard above the din. Lastly, again my opinion, is cultural differences and changes in etiquette. Being raised in New England with its Puritan heritage we have or at least had a reputation for being more uptight than other parts of the country. When I was young so many years ago if we were not well behaved in a restaurant my parents would take us home.
My 2 year old daughter would not stay seated at a restaurant I took her to. We left without ordering and she did not see the inside of a restaurant for two years. These days it seems one is expected to endure the behaviour of other diners children regardless of how much you've spent to go out for a quiet enjoyable dinner.
Dave M I absolutely agree with you, Dave- and I hate the bare floors, no drapes, no tablecloths style now, it helps to amplify the sound! People are generally not considerate of other diners in restaurants and feel their children can do as they please and basically it’s your problem if you don’t like it!!
My dad used to flat out refuse to stay in restaurants that were too loud. Especially when it wasn’t a busy time but the music was cranked up so it was unnecessarily loud.
Dave M : oh my goodness yes! We have had to just get up and leave a restaurant where there was obviously no sound reduction built in and it actually hurt our ears from all the seemly extra loud voices. I also miss having some of the niceties that used to come with dining out. The unruly/unmannered children are a blight on the whole eating out experience.
The "saying Grace before dinner" awkwardness and time sink is exactly why my father, (a Baptist Minister), decided when we were kids that all future meal time prayers would simply be as follows:
God bless this food which now we take
and make it good for Jesus sake
Amen.
boom.
Ours was "God is good, God is great, let us thank Him for this food Amen"
Re Grace: I’m an American Catholic, and instead of one person at the table spontaneously coming up with a prayer and everyone else saying “amen,” we have a mealtime prayer that everyone say’s together (Bless us O Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen). This was the prayer I said at home, at relatives’ houses, and at Catholic school before meals growing up.
Now, I was once at my piano teacher’s house - she used to throw a Christmas pizza party for her students every year. Before we went down to eat, she asked that we sat grace, “It’s the prayer that most of you know, I’m sure.”
So I launched into my normal grace, but everyone around me started saying what I learned later was the Lutheran table prayer. It felt like I entered the twilight zone! Everyone was sideways glancing at me like I was the weirdo.
tldr: I said Catholic grace in the middle of Lutheran country
Sometimes folks need to take a step back. It’s not like you were selling indulgences.
By any chance are you from Minnesota or thereabouts? That’s almost exactly the prayer my dad’s Catholic family says. And if there’s any place with a Catholics v. Lutherans vibe…
@@geealion This is hilarious. Yes, I’m from Minnesota!
My Texas Catholic family says the same mealtime prayer all together, although someone often adds a spontaneous, short prayer before or after. We also commonly hold hands while praying, as mentioned in the video. At extended family gatherings, we stand in a circle holding hands (often outside where there's more room) during the pre-meal prayer and then get in line "buffet style" for food.
Oh wow, that sounds embarrassing of them to just assume it’s all the same on you. Then again I’m from Eastern Pennsylvania and have never learned any before meal prayers but the Catholic one from my grandmother, and a handful of humorous ones my Methodist dad learned in the Army.
I moved to the UK a few years ago for school, and when I was dating someone, they took me to meet the family (already a nerve wracking situation for me) for dinner. After we went back home she yelled at me for eating like a Neanderthal in front of her family and using my fork to cut my potatoes and carrots, and not holding my fork and knife right. To me it was normal! I learned quickly though. And I got her back when she came with me to the US a couple of months later. Not only did we say grace, but our my family’s preacher came to have dinner with us too. Not the best introduction of my girlfriend. We also had more of a “make your own”, almost buffet style dinner situation with my family that she found really odd as well. I hated never getting refills on drinks in the UK! I get thirsty when I eat, and you have to ration it more. Took some adjusting.
I am so shocked, as an American who's lived in Australia for a decade, to find out that using a fork to cut soft things is in the etiquette violation category. Well, I guess the reason for that is that Americans don't always hold their knives, whereas European-style diners, you always have the knife handy anyway, so you might as well use it.
I am sorry but if I was yelled at for such a minor thing, I would be dumping their arse. Also, anyone who is eating in a new place who doesn’t emulate the other people at the table is a bit of a dumbo.
Random Commenter from Down Under .... I wouldn’t feel offended by you eating American style. I might think it odd but it wouldn’t be something I commented on because that would be rude IMHO. Anyway, I also know a good many americans eat that way so what does it matter? People can get hung up on the littlest silliestthings. A good host would not embarrass a guest and would want them to be comfortable and at ease. If you attempted to sit ON the table, scream and play fork drums , OK I might be forced to confront you but I would prefer not to.
Sunny Shepheard I hate people that drink while eating, it fills them with air that they swallow with it . All that burping and hiccuping and fartin 🤢
Jkinsg92 wait till you hear how the Japanese eat if you think we’re savages LOL. Even worse, me and other Americans even use chopsticks for regular eating if we don’t feel like washing too many utensils after the meal. You might have a heart attack if you see how Indians eat ...
In the South its more common to "say a blessing", or to "bless the food," rather than to "say grace."
Ask the blessing
@@usafvet100 Nah... Bless the food. Southerners will rise!
Is that just a terminology difference or do they not do the whole rigamarole of actually saying a whole prayer?
@@PiousMoltar oh my family says a whole prayer every night. And its not like something you recite, either. You pray for different things and use different words, but the general gist of it is the same.
Well bless your heart!
If a wait staff keeps bothering me, they get a less tip.
I'm here to eat the food, but my conversations and me eating my food, is my time. If I want something, I'll raise my hand.
I cannot ever remember having dinner in my childhood home without saying grace before eating. My son's family also sits at dinner and we say grace before. My Dad led the prayer--but my grandchildren lead now and it's precious.
We never did it. We're not religious.
In the UK people do not say grace i have never seen it before only in the movies
@@movingup2118 I'm American, and have said grace before dinner maybe...five times in my life? Mostly as a kid when I was eating dinner at a friend's house or something. It felt very odd then, as it does now.
I eat my peas with honey;
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.
We used to say this one when I was a kid. :-)
@ Stephen Pitt lol never heard that one before (THANKS) going to steal that one......
I learned it as:
I eat my peas with honey,
I've done it all my life,
Some people think it's funny,
But they stick right on my knife.
Cute. But you know, they invented this thing that looks like a tiny shovel, that is more conducive to eating things that won't typically stay on a knife or fork. It's called a "spoon". Yes, I totally ruined your joke. You're welcome.
@@rowynnecrowley1689 It started before the American revolution and well it was better to use 2 maybe 3 (including the plate) back then now a days it's not such a big deal.
I find it so annoying if restaurant staff keep coming over and asking how everything is. To me it feels pushy.
Jennie Darling I agree. Ask once, then just make sure the water, sweet tea, or cocktails are kept refreshed and I’m good
Yes, I agree! I've often wondered why we didn't use some kind of universal "signal", like maybe a folded napkin on the outer edge of the table or something like that, that would flag the server that you wanted a bit of privacy or something of that nature. Makes sense to me!
While I agree, I have to add when I was a waitress it was expected of the staff. If a manager saw we weren’t circling the dining room constantly, we were reprimanded. It’s a lose/lose situation.
I'm much more bothered by clothing stores that have staff paid on commission. They can be like circling vultures. But as far as restaurants, since I go through my iced tea fairly quickly (especially since most places load the drinks with ice) I don't mind frequent check-ins, but there is a fine line between coming to the table too often and not enough.
It is in part to try to keep diners happy, with refilled drinks and such. But it is a lot more about pushing the add-ons like desserts and billed drinks (alcoholic or otherwise) and to gently nudge diners out of their seats, to free up that table for another meal's worth of income sooner. A table of four diners can take as much as an hour-and-a-half to finish dinner, but if you can urge them out fifteen to thirty minutes sooner, you can get an extra seating of money or two at that table in an evening.
I grew up in an American suburban family. Saying grace is something that's typically just a few lines spoken symbolically on special occasions like Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'm not very religious, but in my family it's just been a way to show our appreciation for the meal we are about to eat and the things we are grateful for in life. It's really not a big deal, just a moment of silence and a few phrases, and then everybody is ready to tuck in to some turkey and mashed potatoes with gravy right afterwards. Just a small gesture of gratitude that takes a few seconds but means a lot. Per tradition, in my family it always ends with "bless the hands which prepared the food, amen" or something like that. My grandfather always did the blessing, and after his passing the honor was passed on to me. I keep it short and sweet but always keep his main message at heart. Always appreciate what you have.
How about praying loudly in the restaurant?! 🤣 Oh, lord, deliver me!
The instruction in the Bible is correct:
"And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of others"
People who make a public spectacle of prayer in a restaurant tend to mistreat the wait staff.
People who bow their heads and pray silently or quietly tend to be very kind toward the wait staff.
Generally, waiters know what to expect when they see how people pray. It's true.