Next door married neighbour had a shopping catalogue and I found the pages of women in underwear. She would look at them with me say things like 'Oh that looks sexy.' Then she would go out of the room, out came my todger and ot was given its exercise. One day, part way through its work out, she walked straight back in, saw what I was doing, said 'Come with me!' Took me to her bedroom, stripped and the next thing we were doing all sorts of the fantastic things that I had dreamt of. I spent a lot of time being 'educated' and giving her what she needed. Husband btw was incarcerated in a 'hotel' as he had been caught doing things with men and young boys!
Boundaries on whose side? There was no expectation of privacy in my house growing up! The only privacy was in the bathroom/ shower. Nobody ever got caught doing such a thing, and there were six boys.
Well I don't have kids but if I did have kids and I walked in and they are masteubtng , I would tell them not to do it again or else I would hit them , its totally weird , its just weird , don't be weird , try not be weird , its not something to celebrate or cherish , its outright disgusting and its important for parents to handle it in a mature way , one way is to make fun of them if they do until they stop , just bully them about it until they mature
As a former teen, I can honestly tell you if one of my parents had walked in when I was flogging the dolphin, and tried to start a conversation about sexual and reproductive healthcare, it would not have ended well. Here's what I did with my son: I put a lock on his door, and instructed him to use it. I always try to knock when I come to his room (sometimes I forget, knock and open the door), but if I ever opened the door and he was spankin' it, I sure as hell wouldn't draw attention to it.
I personally don't like locks. If you respect boundaries and is not blind and deaf you don't need one besides main door and toilet. I personally paranoid that something would happen your locks will block me. I personally just knock and either get response or wait several seconds then come in. Maybe weak lock would be ok that can be broken by one kick if something happened (fire for example). Actually if you think about it, you don't even need lock on a toilet, if door closed it means it occupied (we keep door in toilet always open for cats). I respect privacy very much, I hate parents who does not! I just said I prefer just keep conversation channel open. If you respected privacy of your kid from begining and never broke it - you don't need locks that much. It is obviously my personal opinion, do whatever suits you. Where my paranoia come from, probably because my parents are getting old and I have very elderly grandma, I am a bit afraid of locks especially if they can be open easily by force.
@@myentertainment55 Pretty sure I can bust a door down if I need to. I let my son have the lock because he's entitled to privacy. And I can't count on my wife or stepdaughter to respect a closed door.
If you're the parent of a teen, then always knock before entering his/her bedroom. That's common sense and common decency. It will also spare both of you from the awkwardness that immediately follows.
Well I don't have kids but if I did have kids and I walked in and they are masteubtng , I would tell them not to do it again or else I would hit them , its totally weird , its just weird , don't be weird , try not be weird , its not something to celebrate or cherish , its outright disgusting and its important for parents to handle it in a mature way , one way is to make fun of them if they do until they stop , just bully them about it until they mature Fuc*k boundries and fuc*k privacy and whatever buzz word , do what you have to do and take control
Around 12-13, I started having dried sperm stains along the bottom of my PJ shirt in the mornings, some from night pollutions, others from hand jobs. My mom noticed them at the breakfast and scolded me for blowing my nose into my PJs. Dad winked to me and said "It's a special boys' snot, I used to have it too when I was a boy". My mom stared at two of us in bewilderment until it dawned on her, and then both of them rolled over in lough. I didn't feel embarrassed after dad's admission that he did it too, and joined in the lough. After that, a box of tissue magically appeared on my nighstand, and parents got into a habit of knocking before entering. I think, it was the best possible scenario in this tricky situation.
Same situation here with the pj’s. My mom thought it was wet sugar. She didn’t catch me doing it It was at the point where she was doing laundry and asked about the “wet sugar”
Masturbation is the trainer wheels of human sexuality. The ability to masturbate reduces the urge to commit sexual acts which have much graver consequences for other completely innocent parties.
Good way of putting it. Its literally the basics of all human sexuality. We all get urges and the release is kind of necessary for both boys and girls.
absofuckinglutely !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the only thing that kept me sane,after I had discovered girls and their WONDERFUL differences ! Masturbate immediately BEFORE your date and you will be a great deal more tolerable..............SERIOUSLY.............
There was a college that had a course in it not long ago (no not intercourse) as both males and females would sit on chairs in a circle, drop trou, and all jerk off together. How do you fail a class like that. Sounds like fun. I don't know what constituted an A in that class, the guy who spilled the most, or the girl who screamed the most.
My children have permission to explore themselves anytime they want as long as they are alone. I reassured them that I will never ever be mad or upset because they masturbate.
I have two teenage daughter's. I ALWAYS make lots of noise coming up the stairs, whistling, talking loudly to our cats, etc.... and I ALWAYS knock on their door and WAIT. I NEVER barge in. I always ask them "can I come in" and I wait for their answer. Everyone jerks off. It's a part of life. I I'm in my 50's and I still do almost daily as I have an incredibly high sex drive and even with a wife and GF, I still can't get enough. So have at it. It's no big deal.
@@seanodwyer4322, why ??? Because I have a high sex drive and lots of sex weekly ??? You come off as jealous. Most people are. Are you getting laid daily ??? Obviously not or you wouldn't post such an ignorant statement. Enjoy your boring life making insulting comments because you're life is miserable. Tell me, what guy wouldn't want to have sex daily ??? Maybe oe who has been neutered, like you.
One of the reasons it is awkward between parent and child is because parents don't take the initiative to open the subjects and put themselves in a place of vulnerability. Expecting the child to come to the parent with questions when the parent has not broached the subject or made themselves vulnerable is asking a lot.
I started this channel to address a lot of what you mentioned. I was a sex ed teacher and I saw the disconnect between what parents thought their kids knew about sex and what kids would actually ask me. I hope this channel can reach the wider audience of parents who want to have these talks yet are unsure how to initiate the conversations. Thank you for your comment.
@@KathleenHema Masturbation Is Considered Taboo Topic To Many, I learned the hard way in my last year in Ross Shep that discussion won't get you comfortable reactions from people you discuss that to.
I have found children and especially young boys 11 to 30 think they know everything there is about life and they think parents have never experienced any of the things they have. This is definitely not true. Sometimes you just have to let them stumble through life and trip over their own you know what. Just pray they don't die doing it. No mushrooms ever. There is no FDA for unprescribed medications either. You almost need to worry more about this more than mastrubating.
My mom caught me and made me feel so much shame. It took my stepfather, a psychiatrist to talk to me later and assure me that it was normal and not to feel shame and humiliation.
I'm really glad you were able to receive information that was free from shame and humiliation. Many parents have never been educated on this and don't know how to handle these types of situations.
It is very important for the parent to actively seek dialogue with the pre/teen as quickly as possible, but not at the actual event, as Kathleen points out in the video. Of utmost importance is doing so in a non-judgmental way even if the family has a religious affiliation, as this will create deep shame in the child, which will lead to self deprication and unhealthy sexual self worth. The worst thing a parent can do is ignore it all together.
If I walked in on my kid I would say masturbation is fine but it needs to be done in privacy, Lock the door or take a shower but lock the door because nobody wants to see that.
@@tubester4567the child shouldn't get the impression that their masturbating were generally some kind of undesirable sight - only that they ought to prevent unsuspecting passers by involuntarily gaining sight of the masturbation being carried out. (the plain thought of: "nobody wants to see that" could potentially impede their sexual fulfilment later in life).
I really liked the way you addressed 'privacy'. Masturbation isn't just a childs activity. My wife got very ill when she was 39, I was 40. She had fibromyalgia very bad, every night she ran high fever and she hurt like she had really bad flu so, no love making after 40 for me (with a partner anyway). I took care of her as she got worse for the next 23 years, when she was 63 she was diagnosed stage 4 cancer. She passed a few months before her 65 B-day. I had the oppertunity a few times to cheat but I didn't. Sometimes I really missed sex but now I am 70 years old and just wish I had someone to snuggle with and hold. Someone to be my campanion and share what I have remaining of life.
The great thing about doctors is that you can ask them anything and they won't judge you, won't tell anybody (unless it's something illegal), and they've heard literally everything you could say, probably a hundred times, so nothing will shock them or should be embarrassing.
Maybe in the past, but doctors share your information now. The WHO and CDC were collecting people's information to see how many people got the stupid covid jabs.
Great to see a good view of this subject. My mom raised three boys by herself. I was the youngest boy. I became a young teenager in 1971. My mom was very open minded for a woman of her time. She gave me a new locking doorknob one day, (actually a when I was eleven), and told me to install it on my bedroom door. I asked why. She told me there were times when a boy my age deserved his privacy, and she didn't want to ever embarrass me, by forgetting to knock before entering my room. She said that she was sorry, but she knew a boy didn't want to talk to his mother about some things that were a little embarrassing, but I didn't have a dad I could talk to when I needed to talk to a man. She told me she knew that all boys explored their bodies, and that was a normal healthy thing for a boy to do, and I should never feel bad about myself for doing what was natural. She said maybe I should just get in the habit of always keeping my door locked, and she would never question why my door was locked. It was only slightly embarrassing for me, because I did know what she was talking about. I thought about it later, and decided she handled it pretty good.
Wow, that's a 180 of my childhood. I was told by my mom it's her house, I have no privacy, she'll check in on me whenever she feels like it and any requests for privacy is an admission of guilt that I must be up to no good.
@@flintwestwood3596 Sorry to hear you went through that as a kid. I would think it made you feel pretty bad about yourself sometimes. I do know that was, and still is common.
As a young child, I believe I was in 3rd grade, my father walked in on me, and he was angry or disappointed with me. This stayed with me for years. I believed there was something wrong with me. Honestly, I wasn't sure what I was doing or why it felt good, but I always had this complex about it. When I had a son, I had a preemptive talk with him when he was about the same age as I was when my embarrassing moment occurred in my childhood. I just told him that EVERYBODY does it even if they tell you they don't, but I told him that it is a private thing and should never be done in public or when people are around. Best to go into the bathroom and lock the door for privacy etc. I can happily say that I have never walked in on my children, but they do spend an enormous amount of time in a locked bathroom🤣
I never had the pleasure of walking in my boys private moments, true. Friends would come around and freely talk about subjects like this. What did I do? I left the house for a little bit. True
@@KathleenHemalike always, like yourself; I'm more interested in the comments section, love seeing what other's think about these complex family issue's. You elude to something I picked up on right away, I was dumbfounded by this attitude of "it's my house ill walk in whenever I want" or this idea because a mother gave birth to you she has full and unfettered access to your body, your value of self be damned! In closing ill just say the comments I read on this piece is sad; a disheartening commentary on the state of families in America. Being a veteran, seeing the attitude of these parents I think in some small way gives insight of mans ability to be cruel and inhumane, if parents can be so dismissive of their son or daughters emotional well being it makes sense how and why young men after a battle can be so cruel and dismissive of a captured combatants humanity. I know fighting for your life adds a whole nother level of stress but it is worth noting not every young man treats captured enemies with total disdain, pissed off; sure, but some guy's are borderline cruel!
My parents' idea of boundaries was they they had boundaries that needed to be respected - but I did not. The one time my dad walked in on me masturbating, I was going down on myself. It was super-awkward, and we never spoke about it. Once I was a parent myself, it was important to me to respect my kid's boundaries better than my parents did.
Sorry, But Did You Just Say That "You Were Going Down On Yourself" ? Are You A Male Or Female? I'm Just Curious On How A Person Could Physically Do That?
My Mum caught me indulging a quick Barclay's when I was young, and I pre-empted her by saying, "It's normal. Everyone does it!", to which she replied, "Not in the fruit and veg aisle at ASDA they don't!".
Well I don't have kids but if I did have kids and I walked in and they are masteubtng , I would tell them not to do it again or else I would hit them , its totally weird , its just weird , don't be weird , try not be weird , its not something to celebrate or cherish , its outright disgusting and its important for parents to handle it in a mature way , one way is to make fun of them if they do until they stop , just bully them about it until they mature Fuc*k boundries and fuc*k privacy and whatever buzz word , do what you have to do and take control if someone said they want privacy , I would take the door off the hinges so its always open
When my son was two my wife said "He keeps playing with it when I give him a bath. What should I do?" I, of course, answered "Nothing, if you had one, you would be playing with it too! "
So many parents have the same reaction as your mom. Many parents are uncomfortable knowing their child is masturbating for a variety of reasons. It would be very difficult to have a productive convo after this type of experience. Big hugs to you & I hope your mom can realize the impact she has had and apologizes.
Doorlocks, showers and knowing when your mom is out are good things to have. The idea that adults ALL know what is best for kids just becaues they had one is crazy. Especially a lot of messed up girls in that scenario. Guys at least had the 'boys will be boys'.
I don't mean to be disrespectful,Samantha but the clitoris only has ONE function ,and that is for pleasure......It is NO ACCIDENT of design. And I find NO PROBLEM with that ! Please do not feel any shame or guilt. Simply one of God's gifts....It has to be compensation for the pain of Childberth and is ,in my opinion,richly deserved.......................
My kids had doors to their rooms. Knock first and don't be rude. I spent time in the bath or shower. Leave them be and don't shout at them like their mother would do. She'd scare the hell out of me with a really unnecessary screech when one of the kids was taking a bath.
I'm gonna have to slightly disagree with the short answer being YES, talk about it. It depends on the child and teen years are usually awkward enough as is. An alternative is to leave a note with all the information from this video on the child's bed pillow or somewhere they're sure to see it and say they can always leave a note in return if talking is too embarrassing. Not everyone comes from an open home, but a note is a great way to get your feelings across and allows you to take the time to decide what you want to say as well.
Yes this therapists always think they know it all.But most of the time they destroy more than they heal.The only thing they do is costing lots of money.For crap
Yeah, the LAST people I'd want to talk about it with would be my parents. Most I know who said they got caught just left a brochure. Frankly in todays day and age the idea that a teen need a parent to do anything but stay the hell out of their room is pretty ridiculous. I'm reminded of that Roseanne episode " we should talk about what happened.." Child runs screaming from the room. Frankly I didn't know if it was normal or not, didn't really care.
I wound up going to the library. As the late comedian Sam Kinison said "mom and dad are no fu"(ing road map."🤣🤣 Found all the guidance I needed in books.
@@michaelcoffman4185 thats actually a better idea for all kinds of subjects. at college i learned more just by hitting hte library, and it takes away the issue of what individual teachers may be teaching, as we've seen some pretty wild ideas inflated on social media as 'things all teachers teach'.
Based off the movies I’ve seen, she was supposed to be like “oh wow step son, you must get that from your dad. I sure wish he wasn’t at work all day. I have needs too.”
My mom used to say what any other mom would say, “you’ll go blind!” I would reply, ok mom, please explain to me then why I am the only one in the family not wearing glasses 🤓? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why would you want to talk about masturbation if your kid obviously already knows all about it and is doing it? My dad walked in on me when I was 12. Talk about awkward. But I got over it. He never mentioned it, I never mentioned it, and I think we were both happier that way.
In the hushed sanctum of my house, dialogue was scarce, replaced instead by swift action! During the tumultuous years of my late teens, I was unexpectedly discovered by my mother in a moment of intimate self-exploration with a clandestine toy, an illicit gift from a friend. The shock of the discovery was only the beginning, for the humiliation was amplified when she relayed the incident to my father, requesting him to administer a harsh spanking with his hefty belt. The consequence was a week of discomfort, sitting sideways to alleviate the stinging reminder of my perceived transgression. In the aftermath, I found myself stripped of my privacy, an abrupt loss that cast a traumatic shadow over my natural curiosity, inhibiting any further exploration of my own body. It wasn't until I turned 18 and sought refuge in the arms of my then-boyfriend, now husband, that I began to heal. His empathy acted as a balm, helping me overcome the residual shame and humiliation that had lingered like an unwelcome specter.
Sorry for you that you had to experience the rath of your parents religious beliefs. Just look at other cultures and races and their beliefs you can see what nature intended and not what religion doctrine intended
I’m sure it was your parent’s religious beliefs that prompted the harsh punishment. Sad. Religions cause much shame about masturbation. So unnecessary. Sex is a very human activity.
The most embarrassing time of my life when I was a teen.I didn’t know what from who or what I was even doing,all I knew I had an itch that needed to be scratch…..
I used to argue with my parents all the time about first knocking, or letting me lock the door when I am changing. My mother insisted on being able to just walk in whenever, and would say "I'm your mother!" I would protest that I am undressed because I am changing clothes, but she would say "look I gave birth to you, so I know already what you look like undressed!" My dad was the same. Kept telling me unless I stopped locking my bedroom door, he would disable the lock. needless to say, we kids had little expectation of privacy. Sometimes I wonder if my parents did this just in case I was masturbating. they did the same when I would take a shower. would beat on the door and say "why are you taking so long? What are you doing in there? "
Thank you for sharing. Teaching parents to respect the boundaries of children can be very hard for some parents to do for a variety of reasons. Trying to help our kids establish boundaries for their future relationships starts with us as parents modeling what respectful boundaries look like.
Mine did the same thing. Her excuse was that she was making sure I wasn't doing anything wrong. Whenever I had a girl in my room, she would barge in every 10 minutes to tell me something... anything, or to ask any stupid question she could think of.
That's very small minded for parents to think of you simply as a possession of theirs and not your own individual person. Pet humans should not be a thing.
@@ckobo84 i dont think it was them thinking i was a possession, i think it was just their idea of dissipline and making sure tgat i was raised with "the right values" I think they felt obligated to make sure I wasnt exposed to "evil influences" or acting on them
It's possible your mother was a narcissist. Believe it or not, this is common with narcissistic parents. There is a psychology as to why they do this, but making one feel like they are not entitled to privacy because THEY must control everything you do is a big part of it.
My mom walked in when I was 14, didn't say nothing. A few day's later she was laughing at my step father about how his size was small compared to his step son at the time!
I've had the situation described in the title of the video happen to me back in the day. From that experience, I would say that: a little "sorry, I didn't want to disturb" and then leaving them alone quietly so they can finish, goes a long way and will be appreciated. Running away shocked in the moment and then later talking to your kid from the perspective of a worried parent and saying "I'd rather you not do that" doesn't help and is pretty useless as well if you want them to enjoy life at its fullest. Talking like that doesn't lead to its goal because they will probably do it again anyway.
I had a buddy who said the he and his first wife used to play a game in which one of them upon coming home from work, would go upstairs, drop trou, and start to spank the monkey, or polish the pink pearl, depending on which one of them it was. The other party waiting outside the room would wait a few minutes, and then just walk in and act surprised, and then join their spouse in mutual masturbation, at first doing themselves, and then doing each other. He said it was very exciting and his wife loved the game. So I though, okay, I'm gonna give this a try, but I didn't tell my wife what I was up to. She walked in on me, saw that I was trying to charm the snake, she screamed and then called the fire department. Some women are fun, others, not so much...
Friend and I were eating lunch at a bar one-time and overhearing these women behind us that were sitting in the next booth. Obviously they did not hear us come in and sit down in the other booth next to them because one of the ladies was talking about how she doesn't know what to do and that she's thinking of calling a psychiatrist to talk to her daughter. She went on talking about how she came home early and found her daughter completely nude and laying on her back while going to town on herself by using her fingers. Both of us was trying hard not to laugh and then the woman mentioned about how her daughter was moaning the name of her best girlfriends from her class....we lost it and both of us busted out laughing. Needless to say ,both of those women got super quiet and we never heard from them again the rest of the time we were there.
Immediately "oups sorry", close the door normally, leave. That is the absolute most important part, leave it be ASAP. To lengthen THAT moment can be akin to manufacture a solid trauma. You can bet (at least from my exp.) he (/she?) will remember that moment 40++ years later anyway. The "sorry" part is to inform teenager so they know you what was going on, that will simply exclude the angst of "maybe I got away with it". Leave it be until the first next calm 1 to 1 situation and just offer to talk about it if the teen wants, to talk now or just later, no pressure. Mention that you will after this conversation, inform other parent to also be open for any questions or suggestions to lessen any awkwardness or we just move on from here. I think it's important to not 'rat your teen out' before having the "I (/We) are open for talk or just listen to you". That will instill a sense of confidence between teenager - parent relation. It also gives the teenager a possibility to object with a reason to why other parent need not know.
We had simple rules if one of our boys had an "of age" girl overnight. No screaming, no acrobatics and only one person at a time! And no inappropriate dress wandering to the toilet afterwards! Seemed to work, both boys are in long-term, respectful monogamous relationships!
For the sake of clarity! We have two sons. The house rules applied to both of them. Before either of them brought a girl home we'd need to be sure they were serious about the girl and were seeing them exclusively. Then, if the had the girl over to stay the night they needed to behave with some decorum and not use our home as a frat house. This way, each boy, in turn, learned to treat girls with respect and knew they could develop their relationship within the safety of a family house without a need to lie to their parents or have sex in dangerous surroundings. Equally the girl never felt pressured or compelled.
It's called minding your own business, if parents walk in on a kid masturbating they shouldn't say anything, just casually retreat and don't mention it again, the parent did exactly the same thing when they were kids but they probably weren't caught. Don't be embarrassed, it's all part of growing up and if the child mentions it to you just say it's not a big deal.
@@3DJapan Masturbation is part of growing up and it has zero effect on anybody's health, it seems you want to control every aspect of a kid's life until they reach adulthood, let them find out things for themselves, stay in the background and just be there when they approach you with problems, otherwise mind your own business.
Of course it's subjective, if a parent walked in on a kid shooting up on heroin then it would be the parent's business but it's none of their business when the kid is doing something natural and harmless, why would you totally embarrass a teenager and try to make them ashamed when it's something you practised yourself in the past? teens have enough to tend with learning about life and how to cope with other humans.@@youtuber3328
I don't think that children just come up with the thought that I want to masturbate. I never knew about it until a friend asked me if I did it. I said no and they promptly demonstrated it to me. That was my first exposure to it and that is when I started. That was in 7th or 8th grade. There are some channels here that say there should be NO masturbation period. I think they are more about addiction to masturbation but they come off as all masturbation is bad.
i always made sure that my mum wouldnt come in when i did it but i knew that my mum at some point knew that i was doing things, my mum never mentioned a thing and its good that way
As a teen, lemme tell you to not listen to anything she says. Just don't talk to us after walking in. Its gonna be more embarrassing! Just don't speak about it ever again.
I agree, you just say sorry and close the door. Next time knock and wait for couple of seconds. It is awkward talk, and it should definitely not be held right after you walked in. Even later it is still awkward. So just say sorry and leave and next time knock.
Well yeah, I think give it some space in the moment but, definitely talk about it at a later time. Sexual activity is definitely something parents should talk about early teen years. There is too much that could go wrong with children being uneducated on this topic heading to high school. The could develop an addiction, catch/spread sickness or end up with a baby.
@@paulbrown9328 a baby after masturbation 💀 and we r clearly aware of the problems and if we do end up w some, well its our fault. And it will always be akward and we don't want to talk about it. So no, do not talk about it even later on. Its just akward and not wanted.
@@TobyKfc I didn’t say after masturbation I said sexual activity. You didn’t even comprehend my comment fully. Masturbation and any sexual activities leads to sex. Masturbatind in itself gets many people addicted when they don’t realize it. It’s not wanted to you, I’ve had convos about sex with my mom and dad and so did my siblings and we’re okay lol. It’s only awkward if you make it. I am also religious so that plays a part but reguardless educating your kids about sex will always be better than them being sexually unhealthy or being blindsided about stuff the didn’t know could happen.
I'm so glad that neither of my parents ever told me they wanted to have a "conversation about masturbation" with me. Because if they had, I would of course have asked them to tell me in great detail all about their masturbation history and habits and techniques, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts that would have made them even more uncomfortable than it would have made me. I hope so. It would serve them right.
Hey moms & dads, kids know how to masturbate and all about it. We get it out in the streets, the same place we learn about sex. Nobody has to be trained in the art of jerking off. Now if it gets out of hand, and one of your child's arms starts to get twice the size of the other arm, well then there might be a problem.
I have no doubt my parents knew I was doing it…. very often. They threw out my garbage. But, not once did they walk in on me to my knowledge, and they didn’t broach the topic. I didn’t need them to, so I glad.
Teens are growing up exploring their feelings trying to understand their body, you must respect their privacy and understand what we, now adults went through when we were teenagers. Today's teenagers are no different than we were when we were their age.
Walking in on your teen is beyond ackward.I think crossing boundaries by not knocking is disrespectful. Would you like them walking in on you? Do you get it now?
My mom always told me as her child, I have no claim for respect or boundaries (folks would walk in on me going #2 and poke their heads in the shower just to ask questions about anything), but for parents it's different since they are parents, they must be given respect and boundaries. This video is fascinating as it teaches the total opposite of the regimen I was raised under. I'm curious to see if as adults, how the two systems affect in the psychological profiles of the once kids.
That parenting style was very common and still is quite common. But more and more parents are trying to develop healthy boundaries with their kids and have the sex talks starting earlier so that these conversations can be had prior to any potential awkward moment.
1. Always knock and have a lock on their room. 2. If you catch them ignore it, leave about a week and then talk about sexual health etc. 3. Its that simple.
Not quite the same, at 16 I was seeing this girl. Her and friend were in my house. Parents home early, it would have looked worse than it was. So I got them to the back door. My wonderful step mum found a pack of cigarettes and said ‘perhaps you should re-unite these with one of two female heads that just skulked past the windows’ 😂😂
My parents house and property was "the boundary". No locks were allowed on our bedroom doors, and we were constantly reminded whos house it was. I was never caught btw..
Both parents walked in and started berating me for masturbating. I calmly told them masturbation is normal, but parents coming in their kid's room to watch was something child protective services would like to know about. The intrusion ended abruptly. Never another word about it. If I walked in and discovered my kid doing that, I would just say: "Excuse me." And leave immediately. If they mentioned it later, I would just tell them it's normal and everybody does it. Sin and guilt are not import concerns for teens. They are most concerned about being different from everybody else. Tell them they are not.
I walked in on my dad once. I was only 6 and I didn't know what i was seeing. I remember that he was really upset with me, and I didn't know why. It was nothing new for him to be upset with me so except for making a mental note to always knock on his door, I forgot all about it. Until many years later (like 25 or 30) the memory came back and I realized what I'd seen. In that moment of realization, I felt kind of bad for him, but also thought it was funny.
My dad caught me once, it was uncomfortable having the discussion afterwards but i would suggest not embarrassing them as that would make the situation worse. Just advise them to lock the door or get a lock.
Don't make a big deal about it first off. Just say sorry for invading their privacy, say you will knock first next time and leave them alone. Do not make a big deal of it or try to shame them as that creates resentment, distrust, and eventually pushes them away from you. Let them know that they can trust you with their privacy and secrets and they will open up to you and be more honest.
@@KathleenHema Sorry, you caught me. I think I just respond to seeing videos on my view list with questions in their headers with an answer the question know it all mode.
@@godsire6217 Yes, I know. It is all according to whether or not parents actually want to raise a child or worry about conforming to a religion (it is also according to which religion you are talking about).
@@youtuber3328 I have no idea what you are even trying to make a point about. Each individual determines their own level of privacy based on personal comfort and there are particular social expectations that determine what privacy is considered.
If you have a teen, you make plenty of noise and let them know you're coming. Stomp loud until you get to the door and knock." I'm coming in ready or not."
As a father, if it’s my daughter, it’s an immediate baton pass to her mother. If it’s my son, I’m saying “don’t point your barrel at anything you’re not willing to destroy.”
I would maybe consider saying something like, "sorry I caught you in a private moment; touching ourselves for pleasure is something everybody does and it's embarrassing to be seen doing it, but harmless, and even healthy (in moderation). A fart or picking one's nose can be embarrassing the same way: EVERYBODY does it, but for whatever reason embarrassing to be seen doing it. But no big deal, totally normal, universal."
Kathleen herself looks pretty young so I hope that Kathleen waited a good 10 to 20 years before posting this video because you just outed your daughter to all her friends and schoolmates. Way to go mom😂
That’s why I don’t do it, never done it, never will do it unless there is a reason for it (maybe the end of the world), I am well educated on the circumstances and context, especially nuances.
Had my parents ever walked in on me doing that it's obvious I'd have had to petition the Courts for a new set of parents, as I would never be able to look them in the eye ever again.
@@paulkane7771 Being seen, then. It will feel like the same thing and, he's right, the last thing they will want to do is have a conversation about it.
I caught my son Jim in the kitchen going to town on an apple pie once. It was awkward, but we managed to talk it out and learn from the incident. I love that kid. - Noah Levenstein
That's so wonderful that you didn't shame him for his behavior and were able to talk to him about when and where it's acceptable to masturbate. Just a question, did you talk about where to store super glue?
It's not awkward for a parent to ask a child a simple question and it goes this way: Simply ask them if they ever think about or do they ever think they have a feel for sex? A very easy question to ask and it could be ask during one of the movies that suggest parental guidance. Many there is a better way to ask this but I thought it worked well?
Had a girlfriend in high school who loved to jerk beef in the back seat of my car at the outdoor movies. Always wanted to bring her home and say, "Look Ma, no hands!"
My advice is first and foremost do NOT make a big deal out of it. It's awkward enough, no need to make it worse. Second you should let them know that they're not in trouble, assuming it was somewhere private like a bedroom.
Lol... I was smart enough to lock the bathroom door or make sure my parents were probably alseep. Never had much regular privacy so I just knew better.
When it comes to masturbation, whereas a preteen and teenager understands that it is a sexual feeling a small child doesn't understand that doesn't even know what that means, it's a self exploration thing
there are too many variables for this awkward situation to address properly. saying nothing and moving on with your life is a perfectly viable alternative. if it's a girl - she's embarrassed and will make sure it never happens again (as in, she will make sure she doesn't get caught). If it's a boy, he's sufficiently embarrassed enough to try to not get caught again - but yeah, he probably knows that he will get caught - so he'll keep on doing it because, well, he's a boy - and boys need to do it, and will seek out freaky ways to get it done at just about any cost - it's just different for them - they need 'release. say nothing.
very true.................. and it will keep them from raping girls in most cases........ a good tug before your date will make you a LOT more civilized....lol
@@tommac21there is a video of a female teen masturbating in front of a computer on a video chat when her father walked in. She was not happy and screamed at him to get out. I’m betting there was a conversation later.
My dad walked in on me tossing off once. He calmly said "son...that'll cause blindness" I replied "hey dad, im over here!"
🤣🤣🤣 witty!
I laughed so hard I nearly went blind for a moment reading this. ;-)
I told my dad I was only going to do it until I needed glasses.
LOL
Good one 😅
It's called knocking first, respecting boundaries as they get older
You never say anything if you see your daughter or son getting off! We didn’t!!
Next door married neighbour had a shopping catalogue and I found the pages of women in underwear. She would look at them with me say things like 'Oh that looks sexy.' Then she would go out of the room, out came my todger and ot was given its exercise. One day, part way through its work out, she walked straight back in, saw what I was doing, said 'Come with me!' Took me to her bedroom, stripped and the next thing we were doing all sorts of the fantastic things that I had dreamt of. I spent a lot of time being 'educated' and giving her what she needed. Husband btw was incarcerated in a 'hotel' as he had been caught doing things with men and young boys!
Boundaries on whose side? There was no expectation of privacy in my house growing up! The only privacy was in the bathroom/ shower. Nobody ever got caught doing such a thing, and there were six boys.
@@pauldeanda4985damn , I feel sorry for you having to live in such a primitive time.
Well I don't have kids but if I did have kids and I walked in and they are masteubtng , I would tell them not to do it again or else I would hit them , its totally weird , its just weird , don't be weird , try not be weird , its not something to celebrate or cherish , its outright disgusting and its important for parents to handle it in a mature way , one way is to make fun of them if they do until they stop , just bully them about it until they mature
As a former teen, I can honestly tell you if one of my parents had walked in when I was flogging the dolphin, and tried to start a conversation about sexual and reproductive healthcare, it would not have ended well.
Here's what I did with my son: I put a lock on his door, and instructed him to use it. I always try to knock when I come to his room (sometimes I forget, knock and open the door), but if I ever opened the door and he was spankin' it, I sure as hell wouldn't draw attention to it.
I personally don't like locks.
If you respect boundaries and is not blind and deaf you don't need one besides main door and toilet.
I personally paranoid that something would happen your locks will block me.
I personally just knock and either get response or wait several seconds then come in.
Maybe weak lock would be ok that can be broken by one kick if something happened (fire for example).
Actually if you think about it, you don't even need lock on a toilet, if door closed it means it occupied (we keep door in toilet always open for cats).
I respect privacy very much, I hate parents who does not!
I just said I prefer just keep conversation channel open.
If you respected privacy of your kid from begining and never broke it - you don't need locks that much.
It is obviously my personal opinion, do whatever suits you.
Where my paranoia come from, probably because my parents are getting old and I have very elderly grandma, I am a bit afraid of locks especially if they can be open easily by force.
@@myentertainment55 Pretty sure I can bust a door down if I need to. I let my son have the lock because he's entitled to privacy. And I can't count on my wife or stepdaughter to respect a closed door.
@@TheRockinDonkey perfectly stated
@@myentertainment55 chill 💀 you can actually just bust the lock open yk
furry
If you're the parent of a teen, then always knock before entering his/her bedroom. That's common sense and common decency. It will also spare both of you from the awkwardness that immediately follows.
Well I don't have kids but if I did have kids and I walked in and they are masteubtng , I would tell them not to do it again or else I would hit them , its totally weird , its just weird , don't be weird , try not be weird , its not something to celebrate or cherish , its outright disgusting and its important for parents to handle it in a mature way , one way is to make fun of them if they do until they stop , just bully them about it until they mature
Fuc*k boundries and fuc*k privacy and whatever buzz word , do what you have to do and take control
My mom knows nothing about common sense then
I'm sure your son, and the people that know you and him, will appreciate this video ...
no kidding. what a helicopter parent. this is her job, with a salary?? always women
Did you watch the video? She’s referencing someone else.
Around 12-13, I started having dried sperm stains along the bottom of my PJ shirt in the mornings, some from night pollutions, others from hand jobs. My mom noticed them at the breakfast and scolded me for blowing my nose into my PJs. Dad winked to me and said "It's a special boys' snot, I used to have it too when I was a boy". My mom stared at two of us in bewilderment until it dawned on her, and then both of them rolled over in lough. I didn't feel embarrassed after dad's admission that he did it too, and joined in the lough.
After that, a box of tissue magically appeared on my nighstand, and parents got into a habit of knocking before entering.
I think, it was the best possible scenario in this tricky situation.
Same situation here with the pj’s. My mom thought it was wet sugar. She didn’t catch me doing it
It was at the point where she was doing laundry and asked about the “wet sugar”
W dad😎
@@deweyoogwey I call it the nectar juice. It really shines and sparkles just like in the anime. Lol!
@@Trancymind😂😂😂😂😂YOOO LMAOOOO omg
Wtf night pollutions are you serious
Masturbation is the trainer wheels of human sexuality.
The ability to masturbate reduces the urge to commit sexual acts which have much graver consequences for other completely innocent parties.
Good way of putting it. Its literally the basics of all human sexuality. We all get urges and the release is kind of necessary for both boys and girls.
My thoughts exactly My thoughts to thee exact T
That's a fact....Masturbating BEFORE you go out on a date will make you MUCH more Polite and entertaining......spoken from experience......
absofuckinglutely !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the only thing that kept me sane,after
I had discovered girls and their WONDERFUL differences ! Masturbate immediately BEFORE your date and you will be a great deal more tolerable..............SERIOUSLY.............
There was a college that had a course in it not long ago (no not intercourse) as both males and females would sit on chairs in a circle, drop trou, and all jerk off together. How do you fail a class like that. Sounds like fun. I don't know what constituted an A in that class, the guy who spilled the most, or the girl who screamed the most.
1. Don't barge into someone's private space.
2. Get out and don't open your mouth about it. EVER
There's no privacy in the house. People barge in and out the rooms
@@link2442 Me thinks you missed rule #1.
Doesn't matter what age they are, always KNOCK first. I work in an assisted living facility, and they tell us always knock first
@@link2442looks like there should be. At least give them a courtesy knock
If the kid is in his or her parents house, there is no "private space"
My children have permission to explore themselves anytime they want as long as they are alone.
I reassured them that I will never ever be mad or upset because they masturbate.
Slightly odd
lol don't tell em that, that's weird and makes your children uncomfortable. they'll be thinking about you everytime they do it
I'm a teen rn and that's HELLA weird.
Ohhhhhhhhh ty daddy 💦💦💦💦💦🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
I'm positive your kid appreciated you posting a video on the subject, I'm sure his friends will let it slide.
I have two teenage daughter's. I ALWAYS make lots of noise coming up the stairs, whistling, talking loudly to our cats, etc.... and I ALWAYS knock on their door and WAIT. I NEVER barge in. I always ask them "can I come in" and I wait for their answer. Everyone jerks off. It's a part of life. I I'm in my 50's and I still do almost daily as I have an incredibly high sex drive and even with a wife and GF, I still can't get enough. So have at it. It's no big deal.
i don't know how you want me to respond to this comment.
@@KathleenHema, you don't have too. We all do it. Some more than others based on sex drive. It is what it is 😁😁.
@@KathleenHema Refer Him too a vet.''
@@seanodwyer4322, why ??? Because I have a high sex drive and lots of sex weekly ??? You come off as jealous. Most people are. Are you getting laid daily ??? Obviously not or you wouldn't post such an ignorant statement. Enjoy your boring life making insulting comments because you're life is miserable. Tell me, what guy wouldn't want to have sex daily ??? Maybe oe who has been neutered, like you.
She was probably referring to the " Wife" & "Girlfriend" portion of your answer..... But I AM on your side................... lol@@Drewg351
One of the reasons it is awkward between parent and child is because parents don't take the initiative to open the subjects and put themselves in a place of vulnerability. Expecting the child to come to the parent with questions when the parent has not broached the subject or made themselves vulnerable is asking a lot.
I started this channel to address a lot of what you mentioned. I was a sex ed teacher and I saw the disconnect between what parents thought their kids knew about sex and what kids would actually ask me. I hope this channel can reach the wider audience of parents who want to have these talks yet are unsure how to initiate the conversations. Thank you for your comment.
@@KathleenHemaDid you give him a hand???? 😂😂😂😂😂
@@KathleenHema Masturbation Is Considered Taboo Topic To Many, I learned the hard way in my last year in Ross Shep that discussion won't get you comfortable reactions from people you discuss that to.
I have found children and especially young boys 11 to 30 think they know everything there is about life and they think parents have never experienced any of the things they have. This is definitely not true. Sometimes you just have to let them stumble through life and trip over their own you know what. Just pray they don't die doing it. No mushrooms ever. There is no FDA for unprescribed medications either. You almost need to worry more about this more than mastrubating.
@@KathleenHema i masterbate tho when i get hard do i cum.
My mom caught me and made me feel so much shame. It took my stepfather, a psychiatrist to talk to me later and assure me that it was normal and not to feel shame and humiliation.
I'm really glad you were able to receive information that was free from shame and humiliation. Many parents have never been educated on this and don't know how to handle these types of situations.
It's a completely normal sexual activity that should never be shamed and seen as a perversion.
@@scottysansone5884 Its not, its Haram.
Okay idiot.
@@KathleenHema I would absolutely love you to walk in while my nurse is administering suppositories and enemas to me 😍😍😍
It is very important for the parent to actively seek dialogue with the pre/teen as quickly as possible, but not at the actual event, as Kathleen points out in the video. Of utmost importance is doing so in a non-judgmental way even if the family has a religious affiliation, as this will create deep shame in the child, which will lead to self deprication and unhealthy sexual self worth.
The worst thing a parent can do is ignore it all together.
If I walked in on my kid I would say masturbation is fine but it needs to be done in privacy, Lock the door or take a shower but lock the door because nobody wants to see that.
@@tubester4567the child shouldn't get the impression that their masturbating were generally some kind of undesirable sight -
only that they ought to prevent unsuspecting passers by involuntarily gaining sight of the masturbation being carried out.
(the plain thought of:
"nobody wants to see that"
could potentially impede their sexual fulfilment later in life).
One quick way to diffuse the tension is to immediately say, "Are you winning, child?"
😂😂
I really liked the way you addressed 'privacy'. Masturbation isn't just a childs activity. My wife got very ill when she was 39, I was 40. She had fibromyalgia very bad, every night she ran high fever and she hurt like she had really bad flu so, no love making after 40 for me (with a partner anyway). I took care of her as she got worse for the next 23 years, when she was 63 she was diagnosed stage 4 cancer. She passed a few months before her 65 B-day. I had the oppertunity a few times to cheat but I didn't. Sometimes I really missed sex but now I am 70 years old and just wish I had someone to snuggle with and hold. Someone to be my campanion and share what I have remaining of life.
I feel your pain, my wife died 2 days after her 62nd birthday of uterine cancer, we were married 31 years.
I’m sorry for your pain. My wife is not dying but being on dialysis tiny and frail, I wonder how much longer she will live at 62 years old?
The great thing about doctors is that you can ask them anything and they won't judge you, won't tell anybody (unless it's something illegal), and they've heard literally everything you could say, probably a hundred times, so nothing will shock them or should be embarrassing.
Mostly true, but not entirely true.
Health care providers, therapists and sex workers have heard it all!!!
Maybe in the past, but doctors share your information now. The WHO and CDC were collecting people's information to see how many people got the stupid covid jabs.
@@KathleenHema Your answers are spot on exactly right.
I would love for you to walk in on me masturbating
Great to see a good view of this subject. My mom raised three boys by herself. I was the youngest boy. I became a young teenager in 1971. My mom was very open minded for a woman of her time. She gave me a new locking doorknob one day, (actually a when I was eleven), and told me to install it on my bedroom door. I asked why. She told me there were times when a boy my age deserved his privacy, and she didn't want to ever embarrass me, by forgetting to knock before entering my room. She said that she was sorry, but she knew a boy didn't want to talk to his mother about some things that were a little embarrassing, but I didn't have a dad I could talk to when I needed to talk to a man. She told me she knew that all boys explored their bodies, and that was a normal healthy thing for a boy to do, and I should never feel bad about myself for doing what was natural. She said maybe I should just get in the habit of always keeping my door locked, and she would never question why my door was locked. It was only slightly embarrassing for me, because I did know what she was talking about. I thought about it later, and decided she handled it pretty good.
great mom !
Wow, that's a 180 of my childhood. I was told by my mom it's her house, I have no privacy, she'll check in on me whenever she feels like it and any requests for privacy is an admission of guilt that I must be up to no good.
@@flintwestwood3596 Sorry to hear you went through that as a kid. I would think it made you feel pretty bad about yourself sometimes. I do know that was, and still is common.
@@randydickison2304 Thanks! Yeah, it was frustrating at times.
randy dick- 'You should thank a Great Godhead you were never born into the O'Dwyer family. - need ahh say more.'
all the videos I ve watched step mom jumps into action and all ends happily
🤨
😅🎉
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂good one❤
That's really gross
To much hub dude
As a young child, I believe I was in 3rd grade, my father walked in on me, and he was angry or disappointed with me. This stayed with me for years. I believed there was something wrong with me. Honestly, I wasn't sure what I was doing or why it felt good, but I always had this complex about it. When I had a son, I had a preemptive talk with him when he was about the same age as I was when my embarrassing moment occurred in my childhood. I just told him that EVERYBODY does it even if they tell you they don't, but I told him that it is a private thing and should never be done in public or when people are around. Best to go into the bathroom and lock the door for privacy etc. I can happily say that I have never walked in on my children, but they do spend an enormous amount of time in a locked bathroom🤣
You masturbated at the age of 8 or 9? That’s before puberty starts to discover masturbation on yourself. Do you age in reverse? Lol
There are only 2 types of people....
There are only 2 types of people
...those who masturbate ,and those who lie about it.....
I never had the pleasure of walking in my boys private moments, true. Friends would come around and freely talk about subjects like this.
What did I do? I left the house for a little bit. True
Kinda sus😂😂
The conversation should include a discussion of how polite people knock on doors and wait for the person on the other side to call them in.
Absolutely! It's clear from the comments here that knocking and respecting a boundary is very important.
Or knock and say, "are you playing with yourself?"
@@KathleenHemaif it was clear then it wouldn't happen in the first place...
I wouldn't want my parents to knock because I don't want them to assume I'm spanking it every time they're about to enter the room.
@@KathleenHemalike always, like yourself; I'm more interested in the comments section, love seeing what other's think about these complex family issue's. You elude to something I picked up on right away, I was dumbfounded by this attitude of "it's my house ill walk in whenever I want" or this idea because a mother gave birth to you she has full and unfettered access to your body, your value of self be damned! In closing ill just say the comments I read on this piece is sad; a disheartening commentary on the state of families in America. Being a veteran, seeing the attitude of these parents I think in some small way gives insight of mans ability to be cruel and inhumane, if parents can be so dismissive of their son or daughters emotional well being it makes sense how and why young men after a battle can be so cruel and dismissive of a captured combatants humanity. I know fighting for your life adds a whole nother level of stress but it is worth noting not every young man treats captured enemies with total disdain, pissed off; sure, but some guy's are borderline cruel!
My parents' idea of boundaries was they they had boundaries that needed to be respected - but I did not.
The one time my dad walked in on me masturbating, I was going down on myself. It was super-awkward, and we never spoke about it.
Once I was a parent myself, it was important to me to respect my kid's boundaries better than my parents did.
Sorry, But Did You Just Say That "You Were Going Down On Yourself" ?
Are You A Male Or Female? I'm Just Curious On How A Person Could Physically Do That?
@@scorpio7927Watch the movie intro for "Shortbus".
@scorpio7927 just by some of the comments I've seen 😳 It's sort of like a backwards somersault from a physical perspective lol.
@@justhere420No that's just silly
@MrAgmoore I wasn't trying to be silly. I was naive on how one would try themselves.
with a mom like you, I have no problem.
You might 😜
She helped u
My Mum caught me indulging a quick Barclay's when I was young, and I pre-empted her by saying, "It's normal. Everyone does it!", to which she replied, "Not in the fruit and veg aisle at ASDA they don't!".
My sisters baby sitter, older woman, walked in on me. She said “it’s ok” and walked out. Never heard anything about it lol
Well I don't have kids but if I did have kids and I walked in and they are masteubtng , I would tell them not to do it again or else I would hit them , its totally weird , its just weird , don't be weird , try not be weird , its not something to celebrate or cherish , its outright disgusting and its important for parents to handle it in a mature way , one way is to make fun of them if they do until they stop , just bully them about it until they mature
Fuc*k boundries and fuc*k privacy and whatever buzz word , do what you have to do and take control
if someone said they want privacy , I would take the door off the hinges so its always open
When my son was two my wife said "He keeps playing with it when I give him a bath. What should I do?" I, of course, answered "Nothing, if you had one, you would be playing with it too! "
It’s quite common yet there are many parents avoiding the masturbation talk.
@@KathleenHema Al the photos off babys in the womb show them with a hand between their legs
Of course he was doing. ' he has to pee '🦱
Wow, if he was starting that early, he just might make the Guinness Book of Records some day!
Playing with pp at two years old! Boy better be careful he doesn’t wear it out! Lol
It happened to me. I was furious. The apology is fine. I would only become angrier if she had tried to make it “a teachable moment”
Wait...what?
And then? (Reaches for popcorn)
My mom walked in and was practically yelling at me and i don’t wanna have a conversation about it now I’m so scared
So many parents have the same reaction as your mom. Many parents are uncomfortable knowing their child is masturbating for a variety of reasons. It would be very difficult to have a productive convo after this type of experience. Big hugs to you & I hope your mom can realize the impact she has had and apologizes.
Doorlocks, showers and knowing when your mom is out are good things to have. The idea that adults ALL know what is best for kids just becaues they had one is crazy. Especially a lot of messed up girls in that scenario. Guys at least had the 'boys will be boys'.
I don't mean to be disrespectful,Samantha but the clitoris only has ONE function ,and that is for pleasure......It is NO ACCIDENT of design. And I find NO PROBLEM with that ! Please do not feel any shame or guilt. Simply one of God's gifts....It has to be compensation for the pain of Childberth and is ,in my opinion,richly deserved.......................
I really appreciate being on your channel, thank you. You're an inspiration, young lady. You're very wise, very beautiful, and you're an angel lady.
This is one thing people can learn for themselves with no formal instruction.
Not every person is the same and to assume so is inane and foolish.
Mom used to say, are you reading Playboy magazine, as I found one in your dresser? I said nope mom, I only look at the pictures.
My mom walked in on me going down on my girlfriend! 😱That's about as bad as it gets.
I can think of one thing worse. Actually two.
been THERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@mikearchibald744 And those would be...?
@@Jeff-xy7fv This is a family channel, use your imagination:)
Just say to her " mom I'm eating right now" 😂
My kids had doors to their rooms. Knock first and don't be rude. I spent time in the bath or shower. Leave them be and don't shout at them like their mother would do. She'd scare the hell out of me with a really unnecessary screech when one of the kids was taking a bath.
I'm gonna have to slightly disagree with the short answer being YES, talk about it. It depends on the child and teen years are usually awkward enough as is. An alternative is to leave a note with all the information from this video on the child's bed pillow or somewhere they're sure to see it and say they can always leave a note in return if talking is too embarrassing. Not everyone comes from an open home, but a note is a great way to get your feelings across and allows you to take the time to decide what you want to say as well.
Yes this therapists always think they know it all.But most of the time they destroy more than they heal.The only thing they do is costing lots of money.For crap
As long as the note doesn't speak of things like growing hair on the palm or going blind you're okay there.
Yeah, the LAST people I'd want to talk about it with would be my parents. Most I know who said they got caught just left a brochure. Frankly in todays day and age the idea that a teen need a parent to do anything but stay the hell out of their room is pretty ridiculous. I'm reminded of that Roseanne episode " we should talk about what happened.." Child runs screaming from the room. Frankly I didn't know if it was normal or not, didn't really care.
I wound up going to the library. As the late comedian Sam Kinison said "mom and dad are no fu"(ing road map."🤣🤣 Found all the guidance I needed in books.
@@michaelcoffman4185 thats actually a better idea for all kinds of subjects. at college i learned more just by hitting hte library, and it takes away the issue of what individual teachers may be teaching, as we've seen some pretty wild ideas inflated on social media as 'things all teachers teach'.
Speaking of this subject, mom is looking very good in this video!!! 😎
Based off the movies I’ve seen, she was supposed to be like “oh wow step son, you must get that from your dad. I sure wish he wasn’t at work all day. I have needs too.”
I e seen that documentary, too 😉
haha.. I watch such documentaries on redtube sometimes (while I'm masturbating)
My mom used to say what any other mom would say, “you’ll go blind!” I would reply, ok mom, please explain to me then why I am the only one in the family not wearing glasses 🤓? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Can you see now.😎
@@wallyohrel9086 20/20 vision still!😁
Why would you want to talk about masturbation if your kid obviously already knows all about it and is doing it? My dad walked in on me when I was 12. Talk about awkward. But I got over it. He never mentioned it, I never mentioned it, and I think we were both happier that way.
conversations about masturbation can help to prevent the spread of myths and provide education on the social norms around this common behavior.
You are SO spot-on. ;)
In the hushed sanctum of my house, dialogue was scarce, replaced instead by swift action! During the tumultuous years of my late teens, I was unexpectedly discovered by my mother in a moment of intimate self-exploration with a clandestine toy, an illicit gift from a friend. The shock of the discovery was only the beginning, for the humiliation was amplified when she relayed the incident to my father, requesting him to administer a harsh spanking with his hefty belt. The consequence was a week of discomfort, sitting sideways to alleviate the stinging reminder of my perceived transgression. In the aftermath, I found myself stripped of my privacy, an abrupt loss that cast a traumatic shadow over my natural curiosity, inhibiting any further exploration of my own body. It wasn't until I turned 18 and sought refuge in the arms of my then-boyfriend, now husband, that I began to heal. His empathy acted as a balm, helping me overcome the residual shame and humiliation that had lingered like an unwelcome specter.
sure glad you recovered from that................... father was a freakin barbarian,neanderthal !!!
I’m so sorry your parents abused you. If you need to talk I’m here
Damn!
Sorry for you that you had to experience the rath of your parents religious beliefs. Just look at other cultures and races and their beliefs you can see what nature intended and not what religion doctrine intended
I’m sure it was your parent’s religious beliefs that prompted the harsh punishment. Sad. Religions cause much shame about masturbation. So unnecessary. Sex is a very human activity.
Thanks for posting this on you tube, Mom! I wasn’t embarrassed until all my freinds saw this video.
Posting a video about it on UA-cam afterwards is a real great idea 😂
I'm actually glad my parents were really, really old school. Let's put it this way, I learned to lock the doors.
Exactly what she sayin is basically the plot fo a hub video 😭no shame
The most embarrassing time of my life when I was a teen.I didn’t know what from who or what I was even doing,all I knew I had an itch that needed to be scratch…..
I used to argue with my parents all the time about first knocking, or letting me lock the door when I am changing. My mother insisted on being able to just walk in whenever, and would say "I'm your mother!" I would protest that I am undressed because I am changing clothes, but she would say "look I gave birth to you, so I know already what you look like undressed!" My dad was the same. Kept telling me unless I stopped locking my bedroom door, he would disable the lock. needless to say, we kids had little expectation of privacy. Sometimes I wonder if my parents did this just in case I was masturbating. they did the same when I would take a shower. would beat on the door and say "why are you taking so long? What are you doing in there? "
Thank you for sharing. Teaching parents to respect the boundaries of children can be very hard for some parents to do for a variety of reasons. Trying to help our kids establish boundaries for their future relationships starts with us as parents modeling what respectful boundaries look like.
Mine did the same thing. Her excuse was that she was making sure I wasn't doing anything wrong. Whenever I had a girl in my room, she would barge in every 10 minutes to tell me something... anything, or to ask any stupid question she could think of.
That's very small minded for parents to think of you simply as a possession of theirs and not your own individual person. Pet humans should not be a thing.
@@ckobo84 i dont think it was them thinking i was a possession, i think it was just their idea of dissipline and making sure tgat i was raised with "the right values" I think they felt obligated to make sure I wasnt exposed to "evil influences" or acting on them
It's possible your mother was a narcissist. Believe it or not, this is common with narcissistic parents. There is a psychology as to why they do this, but making one feel like they are not entitled to privacy because THEY must control everything you do is a big part of it.
My mom walked in when I was 14, didn't say nothing. A few day's later she was laughing at my step father about how his size was small compared to his step son at the time!
Nice intro
Bow chica wow wow 😂
She’s looking for bigger penis!
I walked in on my son watching your video...
You think that's bad? I walked in on my son w@ckin' it to this video!
@@mylesmarkson1686damn I should to that too😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Was it after you caught him
I've had the situation described in the title of the video happen to me back in the day. From that experience, I would say that:
a little "sorry, I didn't want to disturb" and then leaving them alone quietly so they can finish, goes a long way and will be appreciated.
Running away shocked in the moment and then later talking to your kid from the perspective of a worried parent and saying "I'd rather you not do that" doesn't help and is pretty useless as well if you want them to enjoy life at its fullest. Talking like that doesn't lead to its goal because they will probably do it again anyway.
Yup. Apologising for not respecting a boundary and ensuring they have accurate information is a good approach.
I had a buddy who said the he and his first wife used to play a game in which one of them upon coming home from work, would go upstairs, drop trou, and start to spank the monkey, or polish the pink pearl, depending on which one of them it was. The other party waiting outside the room would wait a few minutes, and then just walk in and act surprised, and then join their spouse in mutual masturbation, at first doing themselves, and then doing each other. He said it was very exciting and his wife loved the game.
So I though, okay, I'm gonna give this a try, but I didn't tell my wife what I was up to. She walked in on me, saw that I was trying to charm the snake, she screamed and then called the fire department. Some women are fun, others, not so much...
A very intelligent and attractive woman who could pass for a teen herself.
I would certainly welcome a hand from her if she walked in on me 😂.
Simp
lying just makers you sound disingenuous
Need some wet-wipes?
Friend and I were eating lunch at a bar one-time and overhearing these women behind us that were sitting in the next booth.
Obviously they did not hear us come in and sit down in the other booth next to them because
one of the ladies was talking about how she doesn't know what to do and that she's thinking of calling a psychiatrist to talk to her daughter.
She went on talking about how she came home early and found her daughter completely nude and laying on her back while going to town on herself by using her fingers.
Both of us was trying hard not to laugh and then the woman mentioned about how her daughter was moaning the name of her best girlfriends from her class....we lost it and both of us busted out laughing.
Needless to say ,both of those women got super quiet and we never heard from them again the rest of the time we were there.
Immediately "oups sorry", close the door normally, leave. That is the absolute most important part, leave it be ASAP. To lengthen THAT moment can be akin to manufacture a solid trauma. You can bet (at least from my exp.) he (/she?) will remember that moment 40++ years later anyway. The "sorry" part is to inform teenager so they know you what was going on, that will simply exclude the angst of "maybe I got away with it". Leave it be until the first next calm 1 to 1 situation and just offer to talk about it if the teen wants, to talk now or just later, no pressure. Mention that you will after this conversation, inform other parent to also be open for any questions or suggestions to lessen any awkwardness or we just move on from here.
I think it's important to not 'rat your teen out' before having the "I (/We) are open for talk or just listen to you". That will instill a sense of confidence between teenager - parent relation. It also gives the teenager a possibility to object with a reason to why other parent need not know.
We all went through that stage as a teen, so parents should be more understanding.
We had simple rules if one of our boys had an "of age" girl overnight. No screaming, no acrobatics and only one person at a time! And no inappropriate dress wandering to the toilet afterwards! Seemed to work, both boys are in long-term, respectful monogamous relationships!
None of that made any sense to me.
For the sake of clarity! We have two sons. The house rules applied to both of them. Before either of them brought a girl home we'd need to be sure they were serious about the girl and were seeing them exclusively. Then, if the had the girl over to stay the night they needed to behave with some decorum and not use our home as a frat house. This way, each boy, in turn, learned to treat girls with respect and knew they could develop their relationship within the safety of a family house without a need to lie to their parents or have sex in dangerous surroundings. Equally the girl never felt pressured or compelled.
It's called minding your own business, if parents walk in on a kid masturbating they shouldn't say anything, just casually retreat and don't mention it again, the parent did exactly the same thing when they were kids but they probably weren't caught. Don't be embarrassed, it's all part of growing up and if the child mentions it to you just say it's not a big deal.
If it's a young teen or child it is the parents business. Not talking about their health is bad parenting.
@@3DJapan Masturbation is part of growing up and it has zero effect on anybody's health, it seems you want to control every aspect of a kid's life until they reach adulthood, let them find out things for themselves, stay in the background and just be there when they approach you with problems, otherwise mind your own business.
correct.......................@@Lili-Benovent
Of course it's subjective, if a parent walked in on a kid shooting up on heroin then it would be the parent's business but it's none of their business when the kid is doing something natural and harmless, why would you totally embarrass a teenager and try to make them ashamed when it's something you practised yourself in the past? teens have enough to tend with learning about life and how to cope with other humans.@@youtuber3328
The problem is not about understanding it the problem for me is that my mom cannot keep it between us and that makes it more awkward
Yea I agree
Yep, mom gets on the phone... lol
What if you walked 8n on mom and dad doing it. Would you tell friends? tmi
Mom tells all her bff's about it then they all help you , like group mams do
I don't think that children just come up with the thought that I want to masturbate. I never knew about it until a friend asked me if I did it. I said no and they promptly demonstrated it to me. That was my first exposure to it and that is when I started. That was in 7th or 8th grade. There are some channels here that say there should be NO masturbation period. I think they are more about addiction to masturbation but they come off as all masturbation is bad.
i always made sure that my mum wouldnt come in when i did it but i knew that my mum at some point knew that i was doing things, my mum never mentioned a thing and its good that way
As a teen, lemme tell you to not listen to anything she says. Just don't talk to us after walking in. Its gonna be more embarrassing! Just don't speak about it ever again.
I agree, you just say sorry and close the door.
Next time knock and wait for couple of seconds.
It is awkward talk, and it should definitely not be held right after you walked in. Even later it is still awkward.
So just say sorry and leave and next time knock.
Well yeah, I think give it some space in the moment but, definitely talk about it at a later time. Sexual activity is definitely something parents should talk about early teen years. There is too much that could go wrong with children being uneducated on this topic heading to high school. The could develop an addiction, catch/spread sickness or end up with a baby.
@@paulbrown9328 a baby after masturbation 💀 and we r clearly aware of the problems and if we do end up w some, well its our fault. And it will always be akward and we don't want to talk about it. So no, do not talk about it even later on. Its just akward and not wanted.
@@TobyKfc I didn’t say after masturbation I said sexual activity. You didn’t even comprehend my comment fully. Masturbation and any sexual activities leads to sex. Masturbatind in itself gets many people addicted when they don’t realize it. It’s not wanted to you, I’ve had convos about sex with my mom and dad and so did my siblings and we’re okay lol. It’s only awkward if you make it. I am also religious so that plays a part but reguardless educating your kids about sex will always be better than them being sexually unhealthy or being blindsided about stuff the didn’t know could happen.
@@paulbrown9328 girl chill 💀 i don't wanna know your life bruh. And we were talking about masturbating not sexual activity. So yea
I'm so glad that neither of my parents ever told me they wanted to have a "conversation about masturbation" with me. Because if they had, I would of course have asked them to tell me in great detail all about their masturbation history and habits and techniques, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts that would have made them even more uncomfortable than it would have made me. I hope so. It would serve them right.
Good lord! How much detail would you need?
Perfect.................... lol !
That's great, lol!
Hey moms & dads, kids know how to masturbate and all about it. We get it out in the streets, the same place we learn about sex.
Nobody has to be trained in the art of jerking off. Now if it gets out of hand, and one of your child's arms starts to get twice the size of the other arm, well then there might be a problem.
Don't anybody knock, teens like adults like privacy
This could totally be avoided by respecting a boundary!
I have no doubt my parents knew I was doing it…. very often. They threw out my garbage. But, not once did they walk in on me to my knowledge, and they didn’t broach the topic. I didn’t need them to, so I glad.
Teens are growing up exploring their feelings trying to understand their body, you must respect their privacy and understand what we, now adults went through when we were teenagers. Today's teenagers are no different than we were when we were their age.
Hi Kathleen, ty so much! So my daughter and I talked about it and I feel it was productive! Your video definitely helped!😊
You are so welcome! Thanks so much for reaching out! It makes me so happy to hear that you had talk and it went well!
Hi
You run out of the room screaming "ARRRGGGHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES!"
You don't say anything. You just hold up a score card like they used to do at the Olympics.
@@whiteknightcat
Lol
Walking in on your teen is beyond ackward.I think crossing boundaries by not knocking is disrespectful. Would you like them walking in on you? Do you get it now?
respecting boundaries is totally important!
My mom always told me as her child, I have no claim for respect or boundaries (folks would walk in on me going #2 and poke their heads in the shower just to ask questions about anything), but for parents it's different since they are parents, they must be given respect and boundaries. This video is fascinating as it teaches the total opposite of the regimen I was raised under. I'm curious to see if as adults, how the two systems affect in the psychological profiles of the once kids.
That parenting style was very common and still is quite common. But more and more parents are trying to develop healthy boundaries with their kids and have the sex talks starting earlier so that these conversations can be had prior to any potential awkward moment.
@@KathleenHema Awesome. I do like knowing that respect can be a two-way street between parents and their kids.
1. Always knock and have a lock on their room.
2. If you catch them ignore it, leave about a week and then talk about sexual health etc.
3. Its that simple.
My dad walked in on me in the act and all he did was say “gettin on it, aren’t you boy?!” and walked right out, never mentioning anything ever again…😆
What to do all depends if you're a stepmom or not.
Not quite the same, at 16 I was seeing this girl. Her and friend were in my house. Parents home early, it would have looked worse than it was. So I got them to the back door. My wonderful step mum found a pack of cigarettes and said ‘perhaps you should re-unite these with one of two female heads that just skulked past the windows’ 😂😂
yup. the talks were and are still very much needed!
My parents house and property was "the boundary". No locks were allowed on our bedroom doors, and we were constantly reminded whos house it was. I was never caught btw..
Both parents walked in and started berating me for masturbating. I calmly told them masturbation is normal, but parents coming in their kid's room to watch was something child protective services would like to know about. The intrusion ended abruptly. Never another word about it. If I walked in and discovered my kid doing that, I would just say: "Excuse me." And leave immediately. If they mentioned it later, I would just tell them it's normal and everybody does it. Sin and guilt are not import concerns for teens. They are most concerned about being different from everybody else. Tell them they are not.
If you had just kept going I bet your parents would have left
I always had a hard time getting the stains off of the ceiling.
wow that was an amazing and correct response how you were able to teach your parents what's right !
I walked in on my dad once. I was only 6 and I didn't know what i was seeing. I remember that he was really upset with me, and I didn't know why. It was nothing new for him to be upset with me so except for making a mental note to always knock on his door, I forgot all about it. Until many years later (like 25 or 30) the memory came back and I realized what I'd seen. In that moment of realization, I felt kind of bad for him, but also thought it was funny.
My dad caught me once, it was uncomfortable having the discussion afterwards but i would suggest not embarrassing them as that would make the situation worse. Just advise them to lock the door or get a lock.
I think for parents its important to learn the common decency of KNOCKING ON THE DOOR first.
Don't make a big deal about it first off. Just say sorry for invading their privacy, say you will knock first next time and leave them alone. Do not make a big deal of it or try to shame them as that creates resentment, distrust, and eventually pushes them away from you. Let them know that they can trust you with their privacy and secrets and they will open up to you and be more honest.
sounds like you watched my video!
@@KathleenHema Sorry, you caught me. I think I just respond to seeing videos on my view list with questions in their headers with an answer the question know it all mode.
Religious people think differently about jerking off. They see it as a sin.
@@godsire6217 Yes, I know. It is all according to whether or not parents actually want to raise a child or worry about conforming to a religion (it is also according to which religion you are talking about).
@@youtuber3328 I have no idea what you are even trying to make a point about. Each individual determines their own level of privacy based on personal comfort and there are particular social expectations that determine what privacy is considered.
You either watch or close the door. Don't make this weird.
Exactly, i’d feel more uncomfortable them saying something about it then them standing there watching me do it.
@@hearditb4? Tf
Guys, we did it. We found the most beautiful woman on Earth.
This should never happen. It is called door knocking. If their door is open, it is their fault.
knocking is a simple way to avoid this situation.
If you have a teen, you make plenty of noise and let them know you're coming. Stomp loud until you get to the door and knock." I'm coming in ready or not."
That is also very helpful advice!
As a father, if it’s my daughter, it’s an immediate baton pass to her mother. If it’s my son, I’m saying “don’t point your barrel at anything you’re not willing to destroy.”
I would maybe consider saying something like, "sorry I caught you in a private moment; touching ourselves for pleasure is something everybody does and it's embarrassing to be seen doing it, but harmless, and even healthy (in moderation). A fart or picking one's nose can be embarrassing the same way: EVERYBODY does it, but for whatever reason embarrassing to be seen doing it. But no big deal, totally normal, universal."
sometimes I want to show people disapproval by letting them see me pick my nose, or hear / smell my fart 😂🔥
There is nothing to be embarrassed about... Masturbation is perfectly natural.
it's like an American Pie moment. lol.
Wish I knew this when I was 11
Kathleen herself looks pretty young so I hope that Kathleen waited a good 10 to 20 years before posting this video because you just outed your daughter to all her friends and schoolmates. Way to go mom😂
Yep.
Not just young, but REALLY FREAKING HOT.
@@youtuber3328 Young Cameron Diaz was hot, not sure if you are comparing age to gae.
Well Kathleen relax and accompany your teen, it's natural !!
I would love to have my mommy walk in on me doing it and give me a helping hand
That’s why I don’t do it, never done it, never will do it unless there is a reason for it (maybe the end of the world), I am well educated on the circumstances and context, especially nuances.
My years of the Hub have prepared me for this video.
Step 1. Be discrete and respectful
Step 2. Do under NO circumstances blast it out all over the internet!
Step 3. See step 1.
I once walked in on my parents and they were NOT masturbating.
That’s another awkward moment!
@@KathleenHema Have you done a video about that?
@@nickhlawka7073 Yes - it's called What To Do if My Child Walks In On Us?
@@KathleenHema ONE time..............I thought Dad was hurting Mom......I think I was 6 or so,
That's a very common reaction for a child.
Never been here before, but the host is quite attractive.
Yup
Had my parents ever walked in on me doing that it's obvious I'd have had to petition the Courts for a new set of parents, as I would never be able to look them in the eye ever again.
I can assure you that the last thing your child wants to do after getting caught is have a conversation.
It's not about being "caught". They are not doing a "bad thing".
@@paulkane7771 Being seen, then. It will feel like the same thing and, he's right, the last thing they will want to do is have a conversation about it.
@@paulkane7771if they r watching pr0n then its bad
My father walked in on me once and said
"Son, you're doing it all wrong"
I caught my son Jim in the kitchen going to town on an apple pie once. It was awkward, but we managed to talk it out and learn from the incident. I love that kid.
- Noah Levenstein
That's so wonderful that you didn't shame him for his behavior and were able to talk to him about when and where it's acceptable to masturbate. Just a question, did you talk about where to store super glue?
You’re a great sport LOL. Enjoyed the video and liked!
Apple pie? That is a new one. I would have passed on eating it.
@@lawrencelawrence3920 Hope I never buy glazed donuts from a shop he might work at!
that was in the comedy movie- ''American Pie.
It's not awkward for a parent to ask a child a simple question and it goes this way: Simply ask them if they ever think about or do they ever think they have a feel for sex? A very easy question to ask and it could be ask during one of the movies that suggest parental guidance. Many there is a better way to ask this but I thought it worked well?
Had a girlfriend in high school who loved to jerk beef in the back seat of my car at the outdoor movies. Always wanted to bring her home and say, "Look Ma, no hands!"
My advice is first and foremost do NOT make a big deal out of it. It's awkward enough, no need to make it worse. Second you should let them know that they're not in trouble, assuming it was somewhere private like a bedroom.
here's a crazy thought: knock
Lol... I was smart enough to lock the bathroom door or make sure my parents were probably alseep. Never had much regular privacy so I just knew better.
Thanks for your videos. You are a pleasure to watch.
Kathleen has the best eyes ever!!
When it comes to masturbation, whereas a preteen and teenager understands that it is a sexual feeling a small child doesn't understand that doesn't even know what that means, it's a self exploration thing
there are too many variables for this awkward situation to address properly. saying nothing and moving on with your life is a perfectly viable alternative. if it's a girl - she's embarrassed and will make sure it never happens again (as in, she will make sure she doesn't get caught). If it's a boy, he's sufficiently embarrassed enough to try to not get caught again - but yeah, he probably knows that he will get caught - so he'll keep on doing it because, well, he's a boy - and boys need to do it, and will seek out freaky ways to get it done at just about any cost - it's just different for them - they need 'release. say nothing.
@@tommac21 the premise of the topic is that she walked in.
very true.................. and it will keep them from raping girls in most cases........ a good tug before your date will make you a
LOT more civilized....lol
@@tommac21there is a video of a female teen masturbating in front of a computer on a video chat when her father walked in. She was not happy and screamed at him to get out. I’m betting there was a conversation later.
Maybe knock before entering their bedroom and if bathroom door is closed.