If you don't like it, don't say it. Update to description: This video is from long before I studied psychology. Please keep this in mind when watching.
I'm an aspie, I'm a woman, I'm a heterosexual, I'm a musician, I'm an artist, I'm a lot of things. There are lots of windows through which I look at at the world, lots of definitions which fit me, but I'm not limited by any one of them. I think there's a great need for clarity in language and meaning in this area. I like this video. It's very thought-provoking. It needed to be said and I hope people listen.
Yes .... aspie is fine! It's a friendly, pleasant warm word which undermines all the technicality and formality of 'Asperger's Syndrome' ...... easier to say and undramatising. It's got a kind of nice 'thumbs up' feeling to it imo.(There'll always be those who pounce on an opportunity to take faux-moral offence on the slightest pretext and make a noise ..... ha! ..... it's all about them!)
Hey, I have recently made friends with a girl who has AS and found your videos while I was doing research so that I could understand her better. You have really helped me understand what she goes through to help me support her as much as I can. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
I see you as a BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT ASPIE!!! I love what you're saying. I have a physical handicap that is not really visible to others so I feel I get judged by some, which I don't let bother me as much as I did at first. But I know the first thing people see in me is I'm obese! I prefer the word fat! They never stop to wonder why I am overweight, they just assume I should exercise and eat less! But what they don't know is I had Polio at a very young age and the damage that was done to my motor neurons and para sympathetic system is now wreaking havoc on me! A lot of people get offended when they are referred to as "handicapped", which I don't understand. I do have an handicap and it keeps me from doing things the way I use to or would otherwise be able to do IF I hadn't had polio. I truly wish people would stop rushing to their own conclusions and, being so uncomfortable with people who are different that what they have in their minds as "normal". Thank you for sharing this...it helps a lot of people, even those of us who are not Aspies!!!! :-) God Bless you!
I only recently found out I am on the spectrum and felt this massive wave of awareness and peace flood over me? like...'holy shit how have i not realized this all theses years' sort of peace with myself that iv'e never felt before in my entire 24 years of life. I relate so intensely to the 'self reflection'....i have been told my entire life im a drama queen and just sensitive and oh boy. now i finally realize im this way for a reason lmfao. If a word means something positive to the person affected, they should embrace...thank so much for making me feel like i'm allowed to say i'm an aspie too. :)
Thank you so much for this video, and all your other videos. Just realized a few days ago that I'm an aspie. Everything finally makes sense. The self-hatred and confusion I've felt for most of my life is finally dissipating. Thank you for sharing your experience so I can better understand my own.
I just learned i have this at 46. On the one hand i feel horrible and flawed, on the other hand i feel amazing to have the knowledge about why my life has evolved to be the way it is - and about my particular and unique skills that have amazed me - and my equally puzzling flaws and sensory overload meltdowns that have horrified me. Thanks for your amazing videos. I am really excited to learn about myself in this way.
I read your title and I was getting ready to write a comment about how I don't think the word aspie is offensive to me at all until I realised that is exactly what you were saying in your video as well. Personally I like the word 'aspergirl'. It has an empowering sense to it somehow... as if it brings along superhero qualities :D
The bullshit becomes the most transparent when a person without some condition starts telling a person with the condition how to talk about their condition, based on being offended on behalf of people with said condition.
Here I am, 4 years later; I have THE UTMOST respect for the way you control yourself in this video. Because it is clear it hits you in every fiber, and still manage to get this (the video) done in the way you do. Even though you said that you have did this video multiple times....I wish I had the amount of control or at least a part of it. that's what I wanted to say.....4 years later :D
This video basically sums up a dissertation I once did for a qualification perfectly, and I agree with and have related to every single aspect. The argument (if I understood it correctly) that Asperger's doesn't define all of oneself, it is only a part, is fantastic, and the reticence/refusal to see it as a disorder is something I very much agree with :) From aspie to aspie, this is wonderful and inspiring as ever :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You stated this beautifully. As a 54 your old women, recently diagnosed Aspie I'm grateful for your strength and passion in speaking out. You are an inspiration!
As an Aspie, I have never comprehended people's need to tell other people how to speak or what to do on any level. I always look forward to watching your videos. Have a great day. :)
"I have never comprehended people's need to tell other people how to speak" -people develop a self image of themselfs (one which rarely corresponds with objective reality, but that´s off topic) -this self image is tied to their ego -if a description/term of a person does not fit the self image their ego is hurt ->with the sentence "it´s offensive" they try to use peer pressure("being offensive" is a social tabo) to make others stop hurting their ego
I'm an Aspie and I really like myself. I don't have a disorder, I have an alternative order. I prefer the order that I have to the order that is inflicted on me. I would prefer absolute chaos if it meant freedom from oppressive social chains.
Well, damn, you put this absolutely brilliantly. Being able to see things from a different perspective to most other people has its ups and downs, but those words, 'Congratulations, you're an aspie' though... That just changed everything for me. I've spent too many years trying to distance myself from the diagnosis and integrate by others' standards, and it never works.
Amazing video and what your talking about is the main reason why I went into working with special education children. I wanted to give them a positive role model of a person with special needs and I hope to go into the Nest program which is a program for children on the spectrum. I've also had an issue with someone who told me that Aspie was offensive, when I was with a close friend of mine and referred to myself as Aspie, they told me that was offensive to people with Aspergers. My response was similar to yours saying that I didn't find it offensive and that since I'm the one with Aspergers that I should be able to define myself how I chose to, esp. when I'm not using it to put myself down. I really don't like it when people who don't have the disability think its up to them to tell us what is and isn't offensive, I get that they have the right intentions but its really not up to them.
I agree, couldn't put it better myself. I say I am an Aspie because it's a lot less of a mouthfull than any other way of putting it. There is no derogatory edge to it. If I described myself as English no-one would criticise me. I'm nearing sixty now and have always worried about what people think of me, even when I pretended that I didn't, which caused me more pain. In the last few years however I think I have genuinely given up trying to fit in and now I do feel the better for it. Maturity helps, not just with this but with reducing suicidal ideas as well. You seem to be very eloquent and I think you are stronger than you know - as an Aspie you have to be. All the best and thanks for your thoughts.
I think some people believe they have "the opinion", which means (to them) everyone is wrong if it is different. Too many like this that are often outspoken. They like to speak for everyone else. You are right about using words that make it easier to communicate by shortening a term so verbalizing can cut through unnecessary vocabulary. It may be that some people use the word Aspie in an offensive way, but it is surely used in a positive way as well. I like to think it boils down to the person's intent. Happy Newest Year by the way.
My 9 yr old is offended by the word aspergers I am trying to teach him he has nothing to be ashamed of! Call ur self whatever makes u smile an keep sharing there is always going to be ignorance an debate but the people u are helping far out weigh the views of the small an simple minded! I am glad u have such a powerful voice! Please please don't stop sharing some of us really need to hear your messages!
Hi Maja, I completely agree that everyone has the right to talk about themselves however they those and with whatever terminology/words they prefer. I really love listening to you and watching your videos! You are a great leader and role model!
I am currently waiting for an assessment for autism as an adult (I'm 41). If it turns out that I'm an Aspie, I will rejoice - it would explain so much of my life, so much discomfort, so much awkwardness, so much much pain and misunderstanding. It would explain a large part of who I am, and I would welcome it - the diagnosis would not cause me pain or shame, it would be a relief because I know that there is something fundamentally different about me. There always has been. There is a quote I love from the psychologist Carl Rogers: "Facts are always friendly because they are the truth". This is never more true than when discovering and discussing our differences. Being an Aspie is as beautiful as any other part of you, and I believe that whatever word a person chooses to use to describe their brain structure is their choice - no one has the right to tell them that they can't use their own language. You are an amazing person, and being an Aspie is part of that - it is part of what makes you who you are and you are right not to be ashamed of it, not for a second. I hope this finds you well, hon. Love and light. :o)
I like the word Aspie and both my son and I use it quite regularly (we are both diagnosed) I have also met people that are offended at the term. I heard a good quote a few weeks ago......."just because your'e offended, it doesn't mean your'e right!" The only people that have suggested I should be ashamed of my diagnosis were church based and somewhat narrow minded, almost to the point of 'black and white thinking' (ironic) Keep up the good work. I really like your videos.
Not only is it shorter and easier to say, for me it's an affectionate term for a part of myself I love as much as any other. You go, sister! Preach our truth!
Maja, as a fellow Aspie, I don't find it offensive in the slightest unless it's plainly being used in a way that is intended to offend, which is rare at best. If people are going to get offended by the word, they probably need to take a long hard look at their lives and re-evaluate what they have a reason to be offended about. Sure, some people choose to be ignorant and dickish about it, but guess what? I don't let those people get to me. Those people are fools.:)
I also like the term Aspie ( i use it about myself ) - I was introduced to the word by friends with ASD (who use the word "Aspie"). They also use "Autie". I find autie a challenge to say (purely by the way it sits in my mouth. AUT/ blegh// ASP// yaye :) Hey, I'm sorry it's so shitty to have douchebags on UA-cam put you down or attack you for your language. I like your videos because you are so authentic and I find that so lovely.
I like your logic. I think the analogy you make to a homosexual saying he is "a homosexual" is perfect. The only reason why someone would think that referring to someone as "a homosexual" or as "an aspie" is offensive would be because they think there is something "wrong" with either one. Another analogy would be calling yourself "a Latino" if you were from Central America and live in the United States. It is just identifying yourself as a member of a minority group, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I am rejoicing in your words! You said it perfectly. I kept saying out loud: "You go girl!" Haha. You are such a strong person with a great foundation :) I feel similar with people judging aspergers as only a negative thing. Some say to me, "You shouldn't put labels on yourself". How ridiculous. You're right we need to define ourselves so that we can start to communicate in at least SOME way (because this is obviously hard for us to do sometimes with "non autistics") . Also we need to communicate HOW we communicate before communicating.. ha. It's like aspies have to give people an overview of the way they "work" because like u said we have different brain structures. If non autistics don't know this ahead of time, they are more likely to not understand or "get" the aspie, thus creating miscommunication. Well that's what I feel happens when I try to talk with people; they misunderstand me most of the time. There are a few that I can connect with but there's still an communication block and they don't really know what I'm feeling/thinking. But it's a lot easier to talk to aspies in my opinion. Great video. ♡♡♡
Thank you for making this video. I'm frustrated with the way society perceive autism. I can't say I'm actively discriminated against, but that is because I don't identify myself as autistic in public. I admire all of you who identify yourselves as "aspies". I am proud of a lot of the traits that come with my autism, but it's difficult to stand up and say so. Not only is it difficult to willingly accept the unfair and unwarranted stigma that comes with it, but even finding a place to do it is a challenge. People admire me for my passion for studying physics, my ability to solve problems in ways that not many others would think of (for better or worse), and my drive to look at things fundamentally, and I wish I could find the place and the courage to tell them that I owe of those traits to autism. Instead most of the people I have told I'm autistic have told me that I'm wrong because I don't fit the description well enough (despite the fact that I was diagnosed at a very young age). To be honest, I have never really thought about the specific issue addressed in this video, but you are totally right and I feel like you hit the nail on the head. If you associate the word 'aspie' with a sense of pride about who you are, you SHOULD be mad if somebody else tells you that it's wrong. I want to feel proud about who I really am, and this video beautifully articulated why that is difficult.
My Dear, your productions make 24-ct. Gold look like cheap plastic. The worst days are those without your fine work. Please keep up the quality of your content as it is. Your simple presentation is very clear and needs no extra polish. You have taught me much about the Honor of being an " Aspie ." Your are very civil and very understanding under extremes of stress and depression. Just keep going as you are. I am famous for mangling "Aspergers" when I try to say it. " Aspie" keeps the subject clear and reduces the distraction of my poor verbal handling of my condition.
So who actually say's to you "haha your an Aspie you suck?" In regards to your video I was having this very same conversation with someone last night. So basically I told this person that I am on the Autistic Spectrum, and that I have Asperger's. Their reaction to the word Autistic was "oh ok, you're Autistic?" When I replied that I have Asperger's their response was "oh, what's that then?" Unfortunately there is still a lot of ignorance around Asperger's. And alway's when people don't understand something, or they fear it, you will alway's get some kind of negative response or reaction, met with confusion. In regards to being called an Aspie..what's wrong with that? This is how I describe myself.
Who says "aspies suck" and the like? Really just people on the net, who are looking for attention. (It doesn't bother me much at all, but since they do mean offense, I thought I may as well use that example.)
Oh I see......I have noticed that there are quite a few who leave negative comments on yours and others videos who are not on the Autistic Spectrum, and who have nothing to do with Autism or Aspergers at all. So I guess their comments don't matter right? I guess their motives or feelings are that being an NT sucks even more.
It would be like someone shaming me for defining myself as a neurotypical because that would imply they think there's something wrong with my brain structure. Of course I'd take offense to that. You're an Aspie and I'm a neurotypical and we're both human beings with far more similarities than differences. Variety is the spice of life! Love your videos :)
I have worked almost exclusively with ASD students for the last 13 years. Like everything else - shaking hands, making jokes, etc. -- I use the term "aspie" on a case-by-case basis. If the individual likes the term and uses it, so do I. I completely agree with you that having Asperger's is a gift in most ways -- especially when the person feels good about it. Thanks for your work.
I, too, do not find it offensive. What I do find offensive is that we, as people (with or without Asperger's) are so self-important that we believe and behave as if somehow others should conform to our own preferences. I understand your having found it difficult to articulate your feelings on this topic, and I commend you for having found the best explanation I could imagine. I fully agree w most of what you have said here, and for those few points where we differ, that's the joy of being human. We have every right to differ in our opinions. If we were all the same, well, we'd have a much bigger problem, I fear.
If a person is offended/hurt by a word such as "aspie" then there are issues behind those feelings that have not been dealt with. There are people out there who can help with these issues which will help life be so much more comfortable.
Firstly I want to commend you on your brave and heart felt speech. For me, I am struggling with my own issues surrounding the aspie / autism diognosis when I was a child. I have always felt that it has sold me short. I was bullied as a child, but always wished that I could have been in the popular groups, at least in part. Another part of me has come to think that those so called 'popular groups' were full of people who were scared to stray away from the 'follow the sheep and remember the script / rules' mentality. Society is the cogs that makes the wheel go around . The 'norm' is so ingrained into that society. Although I agree with what you are saying in my heart, my brain wants a humane and dignified 'cure' for autism. Would you not want a cure for Cancer or MS? Wanting a cure for a condition that someone has is not the same as belittling the person who has that condition. Autism or no autism, if you believe that our souls live on after we die then you will believe that autism is a 'foreign body' that doesn't have any link to who we are as people. I believe that who we are in our souls can define how we act autisticly but I don't believe it can happen vice versa. You sound like you have a really good soul. Currently there is no cure for aspergers syndrome / autism, so presently we have to work with how we can live with it rather than against it. As for cures, there are people wanting to cash in on abusive 'alternative therapies' such as Electric Shock Treatments, Holding / hug therapy and 'therapies' involving all kinds of physical and psycological tortures. With these abusive interventions and this kind of ignorance around, is it any wonder that autistic people would rather not be 'cured'? We all deserve respect as people. But is it such a bad and prejudice thing to wish those struggles away?
the people that dont have it and are offended by it will never understand why its not offensive because they don't have it and don't know what it's like to have it and will never understand your argument! I love your attitude and how you fight what you stand for I am exactly like you it's to a t
when I call everybody else neurotypical they think I'm insulting them cuz they don't know what it means when I refer to them as normal they tend to be insulted
I love what you have to say! I have no problem with the term Aspie (I'm on the spectrum myself), but I prefer the term "Spectral", because we're out of this world. :)
It's not offensive, I find it serves no purpose, it all. I won't EVER call you "Aspie" - I'd call you your name, but I have no issue with whoever doing what they want re calling themselves a group "title" but you're unique, sweet and beautiful. I mean that with the utmost sincerity, God loves you, and you truly are a lovely person. You are a HUMAN, not the restriction of a label. Keep smiling, lots of love, Matthew, England
I'm an "Aspie", but I prefer the term "Sperglord" because its funnier. Aspie is just too cutesy for my liking. When I was first diagnosed I will admit I was a little ashamed but that passed pretty quickly. As far as I'm concerned, the benefits of being a Sperg easily outweigh the negative aspects and I soon realized that I couldn't give a toss what other people think. As Descartes said, "I am what I am."
i get called "special case" here at universty. all because i have aspergers and im dyslexic and i have a note taker in lectures... its horrible. when my both my grans passed last year. everyone knew about it and yet carried on the harshness, if anything it got worse... i have 6 months left here at uni and i cannot wait to see the back of the students... to much ego on a business degree... got help them but the topic i went there to learn was ok... just a shame there are alot of nasty people out there that wont try and understand but push it away anyway they can :(
The way I see it (because it's a fact), how a word is used is what matters, not what word is said. If I call someone happy but mean they're a terrible piece of garbage that should be dead I've just said something offensive no matter what the definition is and vice versa. Even if a word is normally derogatory if you are not using it that way it is not. Intentions and actions matter, not definitions (says the writer who has always been somewhat obsessed with language). I don't personally call myself an "aspie" because people using labels like that are trying to dumb you down. Not in a "you're stupid" kind of way but dumbing you down in that you're no longer an individual. They're trying to make assumptions which are only ever going to get you treated with disdain by me. What the people who find it offensive are doing is exactly like some people where I live who get upset about being called a "Newfie" because people have used it in a derogatory manner when the people in question are just meaning it's someone living in Newfoundland. All this said, even if it was offensive the point is moot. No one has the right to not be offended (nor should they) so it means nothing. If someone is saying or doing something that doesn't physically hurt anyone then they have every right to do so, just as you have every right to remove them from your life for doing so. Instead of shaming them into doing your bidding with a politically correct campaign of nonsense it's better to let them spew their hateful nonsense so they can be corrected (again, assuming no physical harm is taking place). Correcting is always going to do better than silencing. That just makes sure they are never willing to be open to realizing what they're doing wrong because not only are they not being corrected, they're forced to bottle it up which is never a good thing even with good emotions, let alone bigotry.
It's not so much "offensive" as it is patently ridiculous. I have red hair, I don't call myself a "ginge" - it's what little children do. We are people, VALUABLE and precious. Call yourself as you wish, so long as you're prepared to handle the stigma that comes from taking ownership of some cringe-inducing, simplistic label *which someone ELSE made up FOR you* Due respect, no offence intended, do as you wish (which of course you will - don't need me - a stranger - to give you orders) :) Take care, God bless you!
One of the things we can directly control is our own personal choice to be offended or not offended by something. For most things it is simply not worth the effort to be offended because it is generally one of two things: An accident in which case they did not intend offense-- so why be mad at them? Or they did it on purpose to deliberately upset you-- so why should you _allow_ them to upset you? Besides, I always found "aspie" to be both accurate and endearing. I feel the same way about calling someone "ginger" which to me is no different than calling someone a "blonde" or "brunette"-- they are all descriptive of a particular phenotype and should not necessarily have a negative connotation.
I have aspergers. When I was two years old I was held down by nurses and had bone marrow was extracted by an african doctor. I associated people who share similar pigmentation with pain. I was honest and said to my mother "I don't like that brown." However the doctor's skin really was brown and I wasn't being deliberately offensive.
I call myself an aspie . I was at fire twirling and someone said he was autistic and I said me too. Then I said "Go team aspie". Not everyone who is aspie has special talents. Some do have trouble learning :( . I can't spell to save my life :(
TheAnmish, In what way should aspies try to improve and to what extent? Is there anything an aspie shouldn't try to improve/change? If you have aspergers can you really improve, or is it just masking symptoms/traits considering its part of you/your brain structure?
I don't find the word "aspie" offensive. I do often find the rude comments and suggestions from those who have little knowledge of Aspergers offensive.
Your right, the word 'aspie' isn't offensive, unless... You are not diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and someone automatically assumes because you have the ability to communicate, work, etc. you must have been diagnosed with Asperger's! Unless... as an insult someone labels you as such because they can't be bothered to ask you what your diagnosis is and it's just easier to throw out a label (which they will assume means your exactly like everyone else that 'fits' the label). Unless... you realize that Asperger's is used, in many cases, as a fashion trend or is meant to mean that you are making a 'choose' to be the way you are. Under all other conditions 'Aspie' is perfectly fine, especially when you have been given an opportunity to state your opinion on what you wish to be called, prior to being labeled. I would also like to know where we are being treated 'better' and in accordance with 'our needs and not societies needs'. To be honest, I am not seeing it anywhere near where I am at. (I am being honest not rude, I agree with what you say after 11:30 , but I expect you won't respond as usual, so I will never know if your offended.)
I agree that some people try to use it as a slur - which honestly is something I find funny. But yeah, they mean it as something bad, but then it's their meaning which is bad, not the word. But this is all my opinion, and you have a right to yours, which is my whole point. We are being treated better now, because we don't spend our lives in a loony bin or an orphanage, because our families are ashamed of us. We aren't being strapped down and medicated into oblivion. (For the most part. Some cases make me want to throw up.) We aren't being treated in accordance with our needs (generally), and not societies, but when we are (in the cases that it happens) we do really well (generally). And when the general society realizes this, they will be blown away. I'm saying the reason so many of us are miserable, is because we're expected to be like them, when we are not. (I also think it helps for both sides to communicate with each other better, learn the other side's language, because if we don't talk, then it's never going to happen.) I don't perceive you as rude. You are being perfectly respectable in your tone. Thank you for that. (I do still appreciate the disclaimer, as text based communication can lead to misunderstandings, which is unfortunate.)
TheAnMish Thank you for your reply. I agree that it is not the word it is the intent/meaning. But, having said that some of us are sensitive to what others of us are not, I do not see a problem with asking what is preferred before jumping to a conclusion (not you specifically). Perhaps I am reacting at to many such presumptions. On the 'treatment' issue. I now see your point, there was indeed a time when we were treated very much like invalids and idiots (to use some of the friendlier terms of those times). I do admit to missing your precise meaning :( . I do agree also that we are miserable (or at least uncomfortable) and society would be surprised if only they treated us less like 'them' and allowed us to be more like ourselves. I do see the benefits to be derived, but convincing them that the price of acceptance is worth it is a formidable task. Again, thank you for responding, I feel much better informed on what was communicated. (Sorry to insinuate you would not respond, I am used to one sided communications and I sometimes take the possibility to hard.)
I totally agree with you about the word aspie. I happen to like it myself. What I don't like is what sometimes comes behind it-- the person's intent. I think that's the place where most people get offended, but they're affixing their offense to the wrong thing if you ask me. I know some people get bullied with the word aspie, and if that happened to me, I'd probably come to hate that word and even the way it sounds. And certainly if I were the parent or family member of a kid on the spectrum or with Asperger's, I'd be upset that they were being bullied, and since the bullying might specifically involve that word, I might find myself feeling upset and being offended by people's use of that word (although I think they're a little misguided, I can never hate someone for caring about someone else enough to try to fight some of their battles for them). I'd have associated the word with the act of bullying or stereotyping or bigotry or singling them out or any of the other negative things that sometimes comes behind the words a person uses. But what I'd be missing is that it isn't the word that's offensive, and it isn't the word that hurts, it's what the person saying it is doing with it that's offensive and hurts, and the word is just the manifestation of that thing. Bullies suck. Prejudice sucks. Singling people out-- especially over something totally innocent and frankly pointless as Asperger's or homosexuality or the color of their skin or their religion or whatever else-- sucks. The words are just the implements of those things, but they are not those things themselves. I think it's important for people to not lose focus and maintain a proper perspective about what they're upset or offended by. Know your enemy, not just the random word your enemy hurls at you as a weapon. If you only know the word, you're enemy only has to change their words and they'll become invisible to you-- but their attacks will not. If you know your enemy, the words they use won't make any difference, you'll always be able to identify them and protect yourself from them.
My folks tell me being an Aspie is just a small part of my overall mosaic, but ... it is hard for them to make that kind of statement since it is such a big topic for me.
Aspie is to me a funny and lightharted way to tell people about my way of experiencing them and the world... Since I know I have Asperger its that much easier to love and accept the way that my body and mind functions. The last piece of the puzzle that is my life as it where... But I can imagine it isn't the same for everyone I recon.
hi am a 42 male and from the uk and i was told by my doctor i am aspie what ever 4 years ago i have gone through hell all my life always loyal to a couple of friends what just take all they could then just dump me i really would enjoy to talk with you about this . i have watched your videos you are great
You don't know how many times that this has been such an issue with me, People have been telling me "I really hope that I'm not an aspie" or "Don't say the word Aspie!!" and it drives me NUTS!
I don't think it's meant as an offensive term either. I have ADD/ADHD, and I don't have anything against being called an ADDer. That's part of who I am, but it doesn't completely describe me as a person. There's no negative connotation to it. You should be proud of yourself, even if you have a "disorder". There are both positives and hardships to having these differences.I'm sorry you've had suicidal thoughts, and it hurts me to think that other people have tried to shame you because of who you are. I don't know you, but from what I can see you're an intelligent, thoughtful and charming person. You don't have anything to be ashamed of (hug). Be yourself! Screw people who try to define and limit you. You're beautiful the way you are.
As us I was identified as nuro-atypical (they many different names for it) in grade1 (around 40 years ago), extremely bright but would never be more than a brick layer, (only made me more stubborn and ended up with a PhD). Decades later officially being an Aspie allows me not to be alone/ Whether one choses "aspie" or person with Asperger. If needed were it as a badge of honour, typically loyal, honest and deeply caring (in our own way, just takes us a little longer to get there).
My son is autistic and I'm cool with describing him as such. If he were gay I'd say he was gay, if he were left handed I'd say he was left handed and so saying he is autistic is simply another accurate descriptive term of my son. How he feels about these terms is an open question and one which will not have an answer for several years on account of the fact that another accurate descriptive term about my son is that he is 4 years old. So he a bit young to get in on the debate right now but i hope he will use the term autistic proudly. But if he ever finds the term autistic embrarracing or offensive then I will have deemed myself to have failed him as a father. I will raise him to be proud of who he is and his a-typical brain structure is a really important part of what makes him the wonderful little boy that he is. I could not take away his autism without drastically altering who he is. If such a thing were possible what would remain would be different little boy equally lovable and worthy of respect but NOT my son. Is he purely defined by his autism? No of course not. But is it an important part of what makes him "him"? Yes absolutely and because I love my son I love his autism.... well most of the time there are times when it makes parenting him hard because I struggle to understand him but hey that's my shit to deal with not his.
I look at aspies the way I look at vampires, werewolves, and witches: Awesome!--Variety!----Scientific discovery! My girlfriend has Asperger's, and I both joke about it and love her for it. In moderation, of course. We still need to spend twelve hours a day talking about Frozen and My Little Pony. But to be fair, as a schizophrenic, I need to spend twelve hours a day walking in circles.
This goes to all other kinds of "disorders" like Diabetes. I hate people saying "Don't say Diabetic, it's offensive" THE HELL IT IS...it's TRUE...I am a person who has diabetes, which means I am a Diabetic!! One and the same. Same as with my own Aspergers!! Thank you for sharing this video!!
It might just be the sound of the word "Aspie" that annoys some people, not the label itself. Words that end with a long "e" sound can sometimes have a condescending tone (e.g., calling a short person "shorty," or calling a cute person a "cutie.") So some people might think that "Aspie" (as opposed to "person with Aspergers") just sounds too cutesy and belittling, and that it trivializes the full ramification of the diagnosis. (I personally don't have a problem with the word; I'm just speculating how others might feel.)
I've learned a lot from your videos, thanks! also, im totally interested in reading Tony's book, thanks again:) I think we all have the potential to be awesome! -Cheers!
I've never considered the word 'aspie' offensive. If somebody with asperger's wishes to address themselves that way, then that's fine. It's like a slur that people with asperger's have reclaimed for themselves. Similarly, black people often refer to themselves using the n-word and LGBT people often refer to themselves as 'queer'. It only becomes offensive when it is used against somebody with asperger's in a derogatory way with the intention of causing offense.
Hi AnMish and Hi all, Just have to reply spontaneously 'as the thoughts come'. It's just a word, and in all my AS experience, it originates from Aspies themselves and an affectionate and acknowledging reference. Of course, its everyone right to refer to themselves as they wish, but my POV? It's a self-reference that takes a step away from the clinical diagnostic term and starts to dissociate the syndrome from the clinical markers which are essentially about identifying areas of difficulty/problems. Think it is helpful for Aspies and NTs alike to understand the origin of this word and to help each understand each other's POV, to uncover the similarities and strengths of each, as well as the differences. It is very likely that now AS is gaining a cultural higher profile, the term will begin to gain negative association with some - ie., another word to devalue someone with. I like the word 'Aspie', its fun. It's the negative associations are not. So, support the right to positive self-referral but don't negate those who are having a bad time by it; AS or NT alike. Last word (yeah right!): whatever the term, I is as I am. As owners of the 'term', Aspie, Aspergian and whatever will develop next, let's be as flexible and inclusive as we can. Apologises to AnMish for not watch the vid all the way through - just had to 'tap out' my pennies worth.
This is very, very good talk!!! I think the reason who find the word "aspie" offensive are people who consider asperger's as something negative or even a disease. In the way the way that e.g. people schizophrenia probably wouldn't like others to say "that's the schizophrenic" because then the disease seems to be their main characteristics. The word "aspie" only becomes offensive when people define asperger's as bad. The problem is that most people neither really know what asperger*s is nor how aspies feel about their "condition". Usually people only know that it's part of the autistic spectrum and then autism automatically brings rain man to their thoughts. I dare say that low functioning autism is sort of a dysfunction, people who have it are not able to care for themselves and you yourself said once that a lot of nonverbal autists would like to talk but their condition doesn't allow them to express themselves. And since asperger's are on the autistic spectrum, a lot of people automatically consider it a dysfunction. Another thing is that, because of the lack of social skills, a lot of people who interact with aspies do not understand the syndrome at all and simply find them "weird" (hence the problem with the bullying). That's why they might find the word aspie offensive. Finally, when it comes to relatives of aspies, especially parents - they probably see how their kids have to suffer in school etc and thus make the syndrome responsible for the bullying. And don't want them to be called aspie because they don't want to define their kids by the "evil" syndrome. I know that the real problem is not the problems but the other kids' ignorance and lack of understanding - still, i think you cannot really blame those relatives for having problems with the word aspie. Anyways, let's hope that the word will lose its negative connotation soon and that a lot of people watch this video! Best wishes :)
I don't see using "Aspie" as offensive. I was diagnosed in 2009 and since then I've had a lot of people work with me to get where I am today. I now do talks for parents who have had their children diagnosed on the autistic spectrum and I call myself an "Aspie" in those as well as in everyday life. There's nothing wrong with it
I think ASS-PEE it is MOST offensive and so is ASS-BURGERS. Hans Asperger is a German Doctor of great renown and deserves to have his name honored. There is no "B" and there is no "PEE" in his name and yes, words and language DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE every time. Lets call ourselves Aspergicans, proud Americans with Autism
You've got *so* much to be proud of! Nothing to be ashamed of. And you communicate and express yourself damn well! D*on't let anyone else tell you what you can or can't say or express* - I see nothing you've done that's "wrong" or inappropriate. And "aspie" isn't offensive - at least in any (common?) contexts I've known of or encountered it. At least most all the general usage I've encountered of it, it's generally a friendly casual slang for one having Asperger Syndrome or being on the Autism Spectrum - I think most commonly used by aspies referring to themselves - individually or as a group. Seems rather, to me, like someone referring to themselves, accurately, as being (relatively) tall, or short, or blonde, or woman/female, or man/male - accurate, short, descriptive, is what it is, not offensive and doesn't "define"/limit the person ... other than rather accurately describing something that they are. No more, no less, and not something to avoid using as descriptor. About the *only* context(s) I'd think "aspie" might be inappropriate, is in some professional contexts where one ought more precisely identify what one is talking about with a non-slang term (e.g. medical journal article - probably wouldn't write "aspie", just like one probably wouldn't write "germ" or "bug", but would generally use a more descriptive and less ambiguous (and non-slang) word, term or descriptive phrase). The only other context I think of where it would be inappropriate, is if someone were to frame it as a derogatory - but in such a case the problem isn't the use of the word "aspie", but using it as a derogatory (rather similar to using "gay" as a derogatory/pejorative - not cool, don't do that). And don't apologize for getting angry. :-) Anger is an indicator that something's not right and should be addressed or changed. So long as one doesn't do something violent or otherwise inappropriate with being angry - well - anger ain't all bad. (As for myself, I exceedingly rarely get angry, and I also have an exceedingly ingrained pattern of dispensing with my anger - such rote ingrained habit/practice I do it really without even thinking about it: anger --> frustration --> energy --> do something useful (and generally constructive and appropriate) with/about it). And great to hear from you again - always much enjoy hearing from you. (And again, you really don't need to apologize about, e.g. lighting, (wet/damp) hair, bit of sniffle or sneeze you have to deal with, etc.). By the way, the audio level was also excellent on this video.
I've watched this video a few times (I think Ive commented on it before, actually). I have suspected that I've been an Aspie for years. Yesterday, I found out that I am - the professional who told me what the diagnosis was, actually used that word, among many others, to describe my diagnosis. When people say they are a thing, be it ginger (which I also am), or male, or female, or transgender, or heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or, I don't know, diabetic, WHATEVER, they are describing a part of themselves. Why shouldn't we be allowed to describe how our brains are structured, autistic people and neuro typical people alike? Its a characteristic we have. How is it different from me calling myself a son, or a male, or someone with a high level of education, or someone with a beard?! As far as the word Aspie goes, its a short form of the word Asperger's, and that's all it is - I completely agree. People use short forms to describe things about them all the time, and just because the word has been given a negative connotation by some people does not mean that it has to be defined negatively by everyone! We define what words mean to us for ourselves, its one thing no one else can do for us. Personally I do not find it offensive, it's not demeaning, it's not negative - it is an adjective used to describe a difference in brain structure. The structure of my brain has always been there, even before I was born into the world. If someone uses that or any other word negatively, its because their definition of that word is not positive - it doesn't mean we have to change our definition of it based on how its defined by another person, and we shouldn't. Last night, I'm sorry to say that I felt an attack of something like shame. Not because of how my brain is made up, not because I am an Aspie, but because of how someone reacted to this fact. I know that this person didn't mean to be unkind, I've known her for years and we are very close friends. Even if it was meant in a negative way, defining ones self based on the opinions of others is the very height of folly, because its constantly changing based on how they happen to be feeling and (hopefully) the amount of information that they have, the same as our own opinions are - it's something I will have to adjust to, and I will with time. In time, I would like to think that I will be able to educate people to some degree about what the word actually means, but I'm not there yet. Anyway. I've waffled enough, I think - point is, you, me, we, every human/creature/living being, have/has the right to describe ourselves in terms that we are comfortable with and that accurately reflect who we are, and what is more fundamental to us than how our brains are structured, our very neurological make up? When I call myself an Aspie, it means I am someone with an other than typical brain structure, one who is strong and intelligent and has as much (maybe more) potential than many. And I like that about myself. I hope this finds you well. :o)
As an aspie I totally agree with you. Asperger is a great part of my life with his goods and bads aspects. Nobody should tell us that it is offensive to use the word aspie. There is nothing wrong with this word. This is not an insult for me. It's just the way i use to introduce mself
I agree totally with you as an aspie. We see the world in ways normal people would not, with our heightened sense of hearing and seeing the word. Our brains are hyperconected. There are pros and cons. Some noises are unbearable and some types of light extra. Oh and I have no prob with the word aspie.
here is the best advice. assume you are normal and don't tell people you have it. nobody is smart enough to be able to tell if you can talk. people really aren't interested in us because we have it. they usually just like your personality. over thinking aspergers hurts my brain anyways
You summed up a lot of stuff I was never able to. I just never dealt with them because I couldn't untangle their nest of assumptions eliqantly but yeah. You speak for me too on this. If the wiring of your brain can't define you what can. I found the word "Aspie" when I was figuring all this stuff out and found it very useful on the internet. If you google "Aspergers" you get medical stuff and stuff from parents of kids with aspergers but if you google "Aspie" you get actual aspies taking about their experiences.
Neurotypicals have a very preconceived and narrow expectation of what a "normal" person should look like and behave. For example they are quite irritated if one day I am depressed, sad, very quiet and the next rather humorous and bubbly. They always want to put people into their small little boxes and cannot handle contradictions and divergences. Being an aspie comes with many gifts and talents. However, our current society puts a huge emphasis on social skills, conformance and being extroverted, following all the trends as the only good way of living. Honestly, I would not want to become one of society's shallow boring neurotypical robots even if I could but I also struggle with being virtually an alien.
I'm OK with Aspie or Asperger's. I tend to prefer full forms of words, so I have a preference for Asperger's, but why you prefer Aspie is very reasonable. I will most likely end up using both terms irregularly, just depends on my mood, context, etc.
Hi, thanks. I've been called many names over the last 4 decades, even nicknamed spock before. This really cannot offend me anymore, I cannot be offended by my existence. Whichever word is used is irrelevant. I excel, my POV is elevated, a true human being. We live such difficult lives, please don't let something this insignificant burden you further.
It's... I'm not sure. I could have used the wrong words. So far as I know, parts of the brain are doing things differently, but the interaction between parts of the brain are also different. But seeing as everyone on the spectrum is so individual with how their autism is expressed, it could be there aren't as specific rules as they think, as of now. But I really just mean "how my brain works and does shit". I'm not being scientific, I'm being emotional and expressing personal opinions. Wrong words end up in places when I do that. :)
TheAnMish I see. ;-) Could be that size matters in regard to different parts of the brain for persons on the autism spectrum, which would be structure. Structure in relation to function is a longtime interest of mine.
I keep forgetting we're not allowed to voice opinions on the internet. (That is the joke). I'm ashamed to say "aspie" out loud, and I shouldn't. There's nothing wrong with words in theory. You hit the nail on the head! There's this stigma with being different is equal to being less than, that being different is a death sentence. But that's where everyone who doesn't have it is wrong. A lot of us can have happy lives, can live on our own, can have and keep a job, can have a wife/husband and children, we're only different, and our brains are just as valid as theirs. Minority is not evil. If it were, then America and Europe would be 90+% white people, and it's not like that, at all. Yeah, there's a stigma about being different, cause different is inherently wrong, or inherently bad. But it isn't. Time to smell the roses, society, right? I can speak, and I won't back down. If I want to speak, I'll use my words, not anyone else's words!
to me aspergers is a rare and unique form of an amazing personality
I'm an aspie, I'm a woman, I'm a heterosexual, I'm a musician, I'm an artist, I'm a lot of things. There are lots of windows through which I look at at the world, lots of definitions which fit me, but I'm not limited by any one of them. I think there's a great need for clarity in language and meaning in this area. I like this video. It's very thought-provoking. It needed to be said and I hope people listen.
I think the title Aspie is enduring and positive.
Yes .... aspie is fine! It's a friendly, pleasant warm word which undermines all the technicality and formality of 'Asperger's Syndrome' ...... easier to say and undramatising. It's got a kind of nice 'thumbs up' feeling to it imo.(There'll always be those who pounce on an opportunity to take faux-moral offence on the slightest pretext and make a noise ..... ha! ..... it's all about them!)
Hey, I have recently made friends with a girl who has AS and found your videos while I was doing research so that I could understand her better. You have really helped me understand what she goes through to help me support her as much as I can. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
I see you as a BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT ASPIE!!! I love what you're saying. I have a physical handicap that is not really visible to others so I feel I get judged by some, which I don't let bother me as much as I did at first. But I know the first thing people see in me is I'm obese! I prefer the word fat! They never stop to wonder why I am overweight, they just assume I should exercise and eat less! But what they don't know is I had Polio at a very young age and the damage that was done to my motor neurons and para sympathetic system is now wreaking havoc on me! A lot of people get offended when they are referred to as "handicapped", which I don't understand. I do have an handicap and it keeps me from doing things the way I use to or would otherwise be able to do IF I hadn't had polio. I truly wish people would stop rushing to their own conclusions and, being so uncomfortable with people who are different that what they have in their minds as "normal". Thank you for sharing this...it helps a lot of people, even those of us who are not Aspies!!!! :-) God Bless you!
You're beautiful, obviously smart, very genuine. You rock! Thank you for uploading your videos.
I only recently found out I am on the spectrum and felt this massive wave of awareness and peace flood over me? like...'holy shit how have i not realized this all theses years' sort of peace with myself that iv'e never felt before in my entire 24 years of life.
I relate so intensely to the 'self reflection'....i have been told my entire life im a drama queen and just sensitive and oh boy. now i finally realize im this way for a reason lmfao.
If a word means something positive to the person affected, they should embrace...thank so much for making me feel like i'm allowed to say i'm an aspie too. :)
we are not broken, we are brilliant. thank you for making videos. even after years of watching them, they make me feel less alone.
Thank you so much for this video, and all your other videos. Just realized a few days ago that I'm an aspie. Everything finally makes sense. The self-hatred and confusion I've felt for most of my life is finally dissipating. Thank you for sharing your experience so I can better understand my own.
I just learned i have this at 46. On the one hand i feel horrible and flawed, on the other hand i feel amazing to have the knowledge about why my life has evolved to be the way it is - and about my particular and unique skills that have amazed me - and my equally puzzling flaws and sensory overload meltdowns that have horrified me. Thanks for your amazing videos. I am really excited to learn about myself in this way.
I read your title and I was getting ready to write a comment about how I don't think the word aspie is offensive to me at all until I realised that is exactly what you were saying in your video as well. Personally I like the word 'aspergirl'. It has an empowering sense to it somehow... as if it brings along superhero qualities :D
The bullshit becomes the most transparent when a person without some condition starts telling a person with the condition how to talk about their condition, based on being offended on behalf of people with said condition.
+hugesinker YES! Thank you! :)
Attempts to control other people's language. Totalitarians exist in every subculture.
Here I am, 4 years later;
I have THE UTMOST respect for the way you control yourself in this video.
Because it is clear it hits you in every fiber, and still manage to get this (the video) done in the way you do.
Even though you said that you have did this video multiple times....I wish I had the amount of control or at least a part of it.
that's what I wanted to say.....4 years later :D
This video basically sums up a dissertation I once did for a qualification perfectly, and I agree with and have related to every single aspect. The argument (if I understood it correctly) that Asperger's doesn't define all of oneself, it is only a part, is fantastic, and the reticence/refusal to see it as a disorder is something I very much agree with :) From aspie to aspie, this is wonderful and inspiring as ever :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You stated this beautifully. As a 54 your old women, recently diagnosed Aspie I'm grateful for your strength and passion in speaking out. You are an inspiration!
As an Aspie, I have never comprehended people's need to tell other people how to speak or what to do on any level.
I always look forward to watching your videos. Have a great day. :)
"I have never comprehended people's need to tell other people how to speak"
-people develop a self image of themselfs (one which rarely corresponds with objective reality, but that´s off topic)
-this self image is tied to their ego
-if a description/term of a person does not fit the self image their ego is hurt
->with the sentence "it´s offensive" they try to use peer pressure("being offensive" is a social tabo) to make others stop hurting their ego
I'm an Aspie and I really like myself. I don't have a disorder, I have an alternative order. I prefer the order that I have to the order that is inflicted on me. I would prefer absolute chaos if it meant freedom from oppressive social chains.
Well, damn, you put this absolutely brilliantly. Being able to see things from a different perspective to most other people has its ups and downs, but those words, 'Congratulations, you're an aspie' though... That just changed everything for me. I've spent too many years trying to distance myself from the diagnosis and integrate by others' standards, and it never works.
Amazing video and what your talking about is the main reason why I went into working with special education children. I wanted to give them a positive role model of a person with special needs and I hope to go into the Nest program which is a program for children on the spectrum. I've also had an issue with someone who told me that Aspie was offensive, when I was with a close friend of mine and referred to myself as Aspie, they told me that was offensive to people with Aspergers. My response was similar to yours saying that I didn't find it offensive and that since I'm the one with Aspergers that I should be able to define myself how I chose to, esp. when I'm not using it to put myself down. I really don't like it when people who don't have the disability think its up to them to tell us what is and isn't offensive, I get that they have the right intentions but its really not up to them.
I agree, couldn't put it better myself. I say I am an Aspie because it's a lot less of a mouthfull than any other way of putting it. There is no derogatory edge to it. If I described myself as English no-one would criticise me.
I'm nearing sixty now and have always worried about what people think of me, even when I pretended that I didn't, which caused me more pain. In the last few years however I think I have genuinely given up trying to fit in and now I do feel the better for it. Maturity helps, not just with this but with reducing suicidal ideas as well. You seem to be very eloquent and I think you are stronger than you know - as an Aspie you have to be. All the best and thanks for your thoughts.
I think some people believe they have "the opinion", which means (to them) everyone is wrong if it is different. Too many like this that are often outspoken. They like to speak for everyone else. You are right about using words that make it easier to communicate by shortening a term so verbalizing can cut through unnecessary vocabulary. It may be that some people use the word Aspie in an offensive way, but it is surely used in a positive way as well. I like to think it boils down to the person's intent. Happy Newest Year by the way.
My 9 yr old is offended by the word aspergers I am trying to teach him he has nothing to be ashamed of! Call ur self whatever makes u smile an keep sharing there is always going to be ignorance an debate but the people u are helping far out weigh the views of the small an simple minded! I am glad u have such a powerful voice! Please please don't stop sharing some of us really need to hear your messages!
Hi Maja, I completely agree that everyone has the right to talk about themselves however they those and with whatever terminology/words they prefer. I really love listening to you and watching your videos! You are a great leader and role model!
I am currently waiting for an assessment for autism as an adult (I'm 41). If it turns out that I'm an Aspie, I will rejoice - it would explain so much of my life, so much discomfort, so much awkwardness, so much much pain and misunderstanding. It would explain a large part of who I am, and I would welcome it - the diagnosis would not cause me pain or shame, it would be a relief because I know that there is something fundamentally different about me. There always has been. There is a quote I love from the psychologist Carl Rogers: "Facts are always friendly because they are the truth". This is never more true than when discovering and discussing our differences. Being an Aspie is as beautiful as any other part of you, and I believe that whatever word a person chooses to use to describe their brain structure is their choice - no one has the right to tell them that they can't use their own language. You are an amazing person, and being an Aspie is part of that - it is part of what makes you who you are and you are right not to be ashamed of it, not for a second. I hope this finds you well, hon. Love and light. :o)
I like the word Aspie and both my son and I use it quite regularly (we are both diagnosed) I have also met people that are offended at the term. I heard a good quote a few weeks ago......."just because your'e offended, it doesn't mean your'e right!"
The only people that have suggested I should be ashamed of my diagnosis were church based and somewhat narrow minded, almost to the point of 'black and white thinking' (ironic) Keep up the good work. I really like your videos.
Not only is it shorter and easier to say, for me it's an affectionate term for a part of myself I love as much as any other. You go, sister! Preach our truth!
Maja, as a fellow Aspie, I don't find it offensive in the slightest unless it's plainly being used in a way that is intended to offend, which is rare at best.
If people are going to get offended by the word, they probably need to take a long hard look at their lives and re-evaluate what they have a reason to be offended about. Sure, some people choose to be ignorant and dickish about it, but guess what? I don't let those people get to me. Those people are fools.:)
I also like the term Aspie ( i use it about myself ) - I was introduced to the word by friends with ASD (who use the word "Aspie"). They also use "Autie". I find autie a challenge to say (purely by the way it sits in my mouth. AUT/ blegh// ASP// yaye :) Hey, I'm sorry it's so shitty to have douchebags on UA-cam put you down or attack you for your language. I like your videos because you are so authentic and I find that so lovely.
'Always remember: Mutant, and proud'
I personally don't use the term "Aspie" but I don't get offended by it when people call other people aspies.
I like your logic. I think the analogy you make to a homosexual saying he is "a homosexual" is perfect. The only reason why someone would think that referring to someone as "a homosexual" or as "an aspie" is offensive would be because they think there is something "wrong" with either one. Another analogy would be calling yourself "a Latino" if you were from Central America and live in the United States. It is just identifying yourself as a member of a minority group, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I am rejoicing in your words! You said it perfectly. I kept saying out loud: "You go girl!" Haha. You are such a strong person with a great foundation :) I feel similar with people judging aspergers as only a negative thing. Some say to me, "You shouldn't put labels on yourself". How ridiculous. You're right we need to define ourselves so that we can start to communicate in at least SOME way (because this is obviously hard for us to do sometimes with "non autistics") . Also we need to communicate HOW we communicate before communicating.. ha. It's like aspies have to give people an overview of the way they "work" because like u said we have different brain structures. If non autistics don't know this ahead of time, they are more likely to not understand or "get" the aspie, thus creating miscommunication. Well that's what I feel happens when I try to talk with people; they misunderstand me most of the time. There are a few that I can connect with but there's still an communication block and they don't really know what I'm feeling/thinking. But it's a lot easier to talk to aspies in my opinion. Great video. ♡♡♡
Thank you for making this video. I'm frustrated with the way society perceive autism. I can't say I'm actively discriminated against, but that is because I don't identify myself as autistic in public. I admire all of you who identify yourselves as "aspies".
I am proud of a lot of the traits that come with my autism, but it's difficult to stand up and say so. Not only is it difficult to willingly accept the unfair and unwarranted stigma that comes with it, but even finding a place to do it is a challenge. People admire me for my passion for studying physics, my ability to solve problems in ways that not many others would think of (for better or worse), and my drive to look at things fundamentally, and I wish I could find the place and the courage to tell them that I owe of those traits to autism. Instead most of the people I have told I'm autistic have told me that I'm wrong because I don't fit the description well enough (despite the fact that I was diagnosed at a very young age).
To be honest, I have never really thought about the specific issue addressed in this video, but you are totally right and I feel like you hit the nail on the head. If you associate the word 'aspie' with a sense of pride about who you are, you SHOULD be mad if somebody else tells you that it's wrong. I want to feel proud about who I really am, and this video beautifully articulated why that is difficult.
My Dear, your productions make 24-ct. Gold look like cheap plastic. The worst days are those without your fine work. Please keep up the quality of your content as it is. Your simple presentation is very clear and needs no extra polish. You have taught me much about the Honor of being an " Aspie ." Your are very civil and very understanding under extremes of stress and depression. Just keep going as you are.
I am famous for mangling "Aspergers" when I try to say it. " Aspie" keeps the subject clear and reduces the distraction of my poor verbal handling of my condition.
So who actually say's to you "haha your an Aspie you suck?"
In regards to your video I was having this very same conversation with someone last night. So basically I told this person that I am on the Autistic Spectrum, and that I have Asperger's. Their reaction to the word Autistic was "oh ok, you're Autistic?" When I replied that I have Asperger's their response was "oh, what's that then?" Unfortunately there is still a lot of ignorance around Asperger's. And alway's when people don't understand something, or they fear it, you will alway's get some kind of negative response or reaction, met with confusion.
In regards to being called an Aspie..what's wrong with that? This is how I describe myself.
Who says "aspies suck" and the like? Really just people on the net, who are looking for attention. (It doesn't bother me much at all, but since they do mean offense, I thought I may as well use that example.)
Oh I see......I have noticed that there are quite a few who leave negative comments on yours and others videos who are not on the Autistic Spectrum, and who have nothing to do with Autism or Aspergers at all. So I guess their comments don't matter right? I guess their motives or feelings are that being an NT sucks even more.
Urban dictionary it...why? It's there for all to see...
TheAnMish
Ur cute
It would be like someone shaming me for defining myself as a neurotypical because that would imply they think there's something wrong with my brain structure. Of course I'd take offense to that. You're an Aspie and I'm a neurotypical and we're both human beings with far more similarities than differences. Variety is the spice of life! Love your videos :)
I have worked almost exclusively with ASD students for the last 13 years. Like everything else - shaking hands, making jokes, etc. -- I use the term "aspie" on a case-by-case basis. If the individual likes the term and uses it, so do I. I completely agree with you that having Asperger's is a gift in most ways -- especially when the person feels good about it. Thanks for your work.
I, too, do not find it offensive. What I do find offensive is that we, as people (with or without Asperger's) are so self-important that we believe and behave as if somehow others should conform to our own preferences. I understand your having found it difficult to articulate your feelings on this topic, and I commend you for having found the best explanation I could imagine. I fully agree w most of what you have said here, and for those few points where we differ, that's the joy of being human. We have every right to differ in our opinions. If we were all the same, well, we'd have a much bigger problem, I fear.
If a person is offended/hurt by a word such as "aspie" then there are issues behind those feelings that have not been dealt with. There are people out there who can help with these issues which will help life be so much more comfortable.
You are wise beyond your years. Such an inspiration!
Firstly I want to commend you on your brave and heart felt speech. For me, I am struggling with my own issues surrounding the aspie / autism diognosis when I was a child. I have always felt that it has sold me short. I was bullied as a child, but always wished that I could have been in the popular groups, at least in part. Another part of me has come to think that those so called 'popular groups' were full of people who were scared to stray away from the 'follow the sheep and remember the script / rules' mentality. Society is the cogs that makes the wheel go around . The 'norm' is so ingrained into that society. Although I agree with what you are saying in my heart, my brain wants a humane and dignified 'cure' for autism. Would you not want a cure for Cancer or MS? Wanting a cure for a condition that someone has is not the same as belittling the person who has that condition. Autism or no autism, if you believe that our souls live on after we die then you will believe that autism is a 'foreign body' that doesn't have any link to who we are as people. I believe that who we are in our souls can define how we act autisticly but I don't believe it can happen vice versa. You sound like you have a really good soul. Currently there is no cure for aspergers syndrome / autism, so presently we have to work with how we can live with it rather than against it. As for cures, there are people wanting to cash in on abusive 'alternative therapies' such as Electric Shock Treatments, Holding / hug therapy and 'therapies' involving all kinds of physical and psycological tortures. With these abusive interventions and this kind of ignorance around, is it any wonder that autistic people would rather not be 'cured'? We all deserve respect as people. But is it such a bad and prejudice thing to wish those struggles away?
the people that dont have it and are offended by it will never understand why its not offensive because they don't have it and don't know what it's like to have it and will never understand your argument! I love your attitude and how you fight what you stand for I am exactly like you it's to a t
when I call everybody else neurotypical they think I'm insulting them cuz they don't know what it means when I refer to them as normal they tend to be insulted
I love who you are, I love how you explained yourself and WE are aspies,and we like to use the word! :)
I love the word Aspie. A friend whose kids are on the spectrum asked me if I found it offensive. Like you, I think it is something defining.
I love what you have to say! I have no problem with the term Aspie (I'm on the spectrum myself), but I prefer the term "Spectral", because we're out of this world. :)
It's not offensive, I find it serves no purpose, it all.
I won't EVER call you "Aspie" - I'd call you your name, but I have no issue with whoever doing what they want re calling themselves a group "title" but you're unique, sweet and beautiful. I mean that with the utmost sincerity, God loves you, and you truly are a lovely person. You are a HUMAN, not the restriction of a label.
Keep smiling, lots of love,
Matthew, England
I'm an "Aspie", but I prefer the term "Sperglord" because its funnier. Aspie is just too cutesy for my liking.
When I was first diagnosed I will admit I was a little ashamed but that passed pretty quickly. As far as I'm concerned, the benefits of being a Sperg easily outweigh the negative aspects and I soon realized that I couldn't give a toss what other people think.
As Descartes said, "I am what I am."
You're an intelligent and well-spoken person. I really enjoyed this video.
I agree wholeheartedly!
Some people go out of their way to look for things to call "offensive", it's getting ridiculous...
i get called "special case" here at universty. all because i have aspergers and im dyslexic and i have a note taker in lectures... its horrible. when my both my grans passed last year. everyone knew about it and yet carried on the harshness, if anything it got worse... i have 6 months left here at uni and i cannot wait to see the back of the students... to much ego on a business degree... got help them but the topic i went there to learn was ok... just a shame there are alot of nasty people out there that wont try and understand but push it away anyway they can :(
The way I see it (because it's a fact), how a word is used is what matters, not what word is said. If I call someone happy but mean they're a terrible piece of garbage that should be dead I've just said something offensive no matter what the definition is and vice versa. Even if a word is normally derogatory if you are not using it that way it is not.
Intentions and actions matter, not definitions (says the writer who has always been somewhat obsessed with language).
I don't personally call myself an "aspie" because people using labels like that are trying to dumb you down. Not in a "you're stupid" kind of way but dumbing you down in that you're no longer an individual. They're trying to make assumptions which are only ever going to get you treated with disdain by me.
What the people who find it offensive are doing is exactly like some people where I live who get upset about being called a "Newfie" because people have used it in a derogatory manner when the people in question are just meaning it's someone living in Newfoundland.
All this said, even if it was offensive the point is moot. No one has the right to not be offended (nor should they) so it means nothing.
If someone is saying or doing something that doesn't physically hurt anyone then they have every right to do so, just as you have every right to remove them from your life for doing so.
Instead of shaming them into doing your bidding with a politically correct campaign of nonsense it's better to let them spew their hateful nonsense so they can be corrected (again, assuming no physical harm is taking place).
Correcting is always going to do better than silencing. That just makes sure they are never willing to be open to realizing what they're doing wrong because not only are they not being corrected, they're forced to bottle it up which is never a good thing even with good emotions, let alone bigotry.
I'm an Aspie and I love it. I don't care who views it as "offensive".
It's not so much "offensive" as it is patently ridiculous. I have red hair, I don't call myself a "ginge" - it's what little children do. We are people, VALUABLE and precious. Call yourself as you wish, so long as you're prepared to handle the stigma that comes from taking ownership of some cringe-inducing, simplistic label *which someone ELSE made up FOR you*
Due respect, no offence intended, do as you wish (which of course you will - don't need me - a stranger - to give you orders) :)
Take care, God bless you!
I prefer the term "Asp kicker"! Yes, I have Asperger's!
LOL! The snake that killled Cleopatra was an asp. So it makes you sound youre a killer of venomous snakes...which is an awesome image.
One of the things we can directly control is our own personal choice to be offended or not offended by something. For most things it is simply not worth the effort to be offended because it is generally one of two things:
An accident in which case they did not intend offense-- so why be mad at them?
Or they did it on purpose to deliberately upset you-- so why should you _allow_ them to upset you?
Besides, I always found "aspie" to be both accurate and endearing. I feel the same way about calling someone "ginger" which to me is no different than calling someone a "blonde" or "brunette"-- they are all descriptive of a particular phenotype and should not necessarily have a negative connotation.
I have aspergers. When I was two years old I was held down by nurses and had bone marrow was extracted by an african doctor. I associated people who share similar pigmentation with pain. I was honest and said to my mother "I don't like that brown." However the doctor's skin really was brown and I wasn't being deliberately offensive.
I call myself an aspie . I was at fire twirling and someone said he was autistic and I said me too. Then I said "Go team aspie". Not everyone who is aspie has special talents. Some do have trouble learning :( . I can't spell to save my life :(
Cat Kin + I have a problem with maths in fact I find thinking things out in general hard, I'm trying to overcome it.☺
TheAnmish, In what way should aspies try to improve and to what extent? Is there anything an aspie shouldn't try to improve/change? If you have aspergers can you really improve, or is it just masking symptoms/traits considering its part of you/your brain structure?
I don't find the word "aspie" offensive. I do often find the rude comments and suggestions from those who have little knowledge of Aspergers offensive.
Your right, the word 'aspie' isn't offensive, unless... You are not diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and someone automatically assumes because you have the ability to communicate, work, etc. you must have been diagnosed with Asperger's! Unless... as an insult someone labels you as such because they can't be bothered to ask you what your diagnosis is and it's just easier to throw out a label (which they will assume means your exactly like everyone else that 'fits' the label). Unless... you realize that Asperger's is used, in many cases, as a fashion trend or is meant to mean that you are making a 'choose' to be the way you are.
Under all other conditions 'Aspie' is perfectly fine, especially when you have been given an opportunity to state your opinion on what you wish to be called, prior to being labeled.
I would also like to know where we are being treated 'better' and in accordance with 'our needs and not societies needs'. To be honest, I am not seeing it anywhere near where I am at.
(I am being honest not rude, I agree with what you say after 11:30 , but I expect you won't respond as usual, so I will never know if your offended.)
I agree that some people try to use it as a slur - which honestly is something I find funny. But yeah, they mean it as something bad, but then it's their meaning which is bad, not the word. But this is all my opinion, and you have a right to yours, which is my whole point.
We are being treated better now, because we don't spend our lives in a loony bin or an orphanage, because our families are ashamed of us. We aren't being strapped down and medicated into oblivion. (For the most part. Some cases make me want to throw up.)
We aren't being treated in accordance with our needs (generally), and not societies, but when we are (in the cases that it happens) we do really well (generally). And when the general society realizes this, they will be blown away.
I'm saying the reason so many of us are miserable, is because we're expected to be like them, when we are not. (I also think it helps for both sides to communicate with each other better, learn the other side's language, because if we don't talk, then it's never going to happen.)
I don't perceive you as rude. You are being perfectly respectable in your tone. Thank you for that. (I do still appreciate the disclaimer, as text based communication can lead to misunderstandings, which is unfortunate.)
TheAnMish Thank you for your reply. I agree that it is not the word it is the intent/meaning. But, having said that some of us are sensitive to what others of us are not, I do not see a problem with asking what is preferred before jumping to a conclusion (not you specifically). Perhaps I am reacting at to many such presumptions.
On the 'treatment' issue. I now see your point, there was indeed a time when we were treated very much like invalids and idiots (to use some of the friendlier terms of those times). I do admit to missing your precise meaning :( . I do agree also that we are miserable (or at least uncomfortable) and society would be surprised if only they treated us less like 'them' and allowed us to be more like ourselves. I do see the benefits to be derived, but convincing them that the price of acceptance is worth it is a formidable task.
Again, thank you for responding, I feel much better informed on what was communicated. (Sorry to insinuate you would not respond, I am used to one sided communications and I sometimes take the possibility to hard.)
A little. But at least they are not as stupid as you are.
I totally agree with you about the word aspie. I happen to like it myself. What I don't like is what sometimes comes behind it-- the person's intent. I think that's the place where most people get offended, but they're affixing their offense to the wrong thing if you ask me.
I know some people get bullied with the word aspie, and if that happened to me, I'd probably come to hate that word and even the way it sounds. And certainly if I were the parent or family member of a kid on the spectrum or with Asperger's, I'd be upset that they were being bullied, and since the bullying might specifically involve that word, I might find myself feeling upset and being offended by people's use of that word (although I think they're a little misguided, I can never hate someone for caring about someone else enough to try to fight some of their battles for them). I'd have associated the word with the act of bullying or stereotyping or bigotry or singling them out or any of the other negative things that sometimes comes behind the words a person uses. But what I'd be missing is that it isn't the word that's offensive, and it isn't the word that hurts, it's what the person saying it is doing with it that's offensive and hurts, and the word is just the manifestation of that thing.
Bullies suck. Prejudice sucks. Singling people out-- especially over something totally innocent and frankly pointless as Asperger's or homosexuality or the color of their skin or their religion or whatever else-- sucks. The words are just the implements of those things, but they are not those things themselves. I think it's important for people to not lose focus and maintain a proper perspective about what they're upset or offended by.
Know your enemy, not just the random word your enemy hurls at you as a weapon. If you only know the word, you're enemy only has to change their words and they'll become invisible to you-- but their attacks will not. If you know your enemy, the words they use won't make any difference, you'll always be able to identify them and protect yourself from them.
My folks tell me being an Aspie is just a small part of my overall mosaic, but ... it is hard for them to make that kind of statement since it is such a big topic for me.
Aspie is to me a funny and lightharted way to tell people about my way of experiencing them and the world... Since I know I have Asperger its that much easier to love and accept the way that my body and mind functions. The last piece of the puzzle that is my life as it where... But I can imagine it isn't the same for everyone I recon.
hi am a 42 male and from the uk and i was told by my doctor i am aspie what ever 4 years ago i have gone through hell all my life always loyal to a couple of friends what just take all they could then just dump me i really would enjoy to talk with you about this . i have watched your videos you are great
You don't know how many times that this has been such an issue with me, People have been telling me "I really hope that I'm not an aspie" or "Don't say the word Aspie!!" and it drives me NUTS!
I don't think it's meant as an offensive term either. I have ADD/ADHD, and I don't have anything against being called an ADDer. That's part of who I am, but it doesn't completely describe me as a person. There's no negative connotation to it. You should be proud of yourself, even if you have a "disorder". There are both positives and hardships to having these differences.I'm sorry you've had suicidal thoughts, and it hurts me to think that other people have tried to shame you because of who you are. I don't know you, but from what I can see you're an intelligent, thoughtful and charming person. You don't have anything to be ashamed of (hug). Be yourself! Screw people who try to define and limit you. You're beautiful the way you are.
As us I was identified as nuro-atypical (they many different names for it) in grade1 (around 40 years ago), extremely bright but would never be more than a brick layer, (only made me more stubborn and ended up with a PhD). Decades later officially being an Aspie allows me not to be alone/ Whether one choses "aspie" or person with Asperger. If needed were it as a badge of honour, typically loyal, honest and deeply caring (in our own way, just takes us a little longer to get there).
Embrace your Aspie Powers
Thank you for the word Aspie. It came along at just the right time. :)
My son is autistic and I'm cool with describing him as such. If he were gay I'd say he was gay, if he were left handed I'd say he was left handed and so saying he is autistic is simply another accurate descriptive term of my son. How he feels about these terms is an open question and one which will not have an answer for several years on account of the fact that another accurate descriptive term about my son is that he is 4 years old. So he a bit young to get in on the debate right now but i hope he will use the term autistic proudly.
But if he ever finds the term autistic embrarracing or offensive then I will have deemed myself to have failed him as a father. I will raise him to be proud of who he is and his a-typical brain structure is a really important part of what makes him the wonderful little boy that he is. I could not take away his autism without drastically altering who he is. If such a thing were possible what would remain would be different little boy equally lovable and worthy of respect but NOT my son. Is he purely defined by his autism? No of course not. But is it an important part of what makes him "him"? Yes absolutely and because I love my son I love his autism.... well most of the time there are times when it makes parenting him hard because I struggle to understand him but hey that's my shit to deal with not his.
I look at aspies the way I look at vampires, werewolves, and witches: Awesome!--Variety!----Scientific discovery! My girlfriend has Asperger's, and I both joke about it and love her for it.
In moderation, of course. We still need to spend twelve hours a day talking about Frozen and My Little Pony.
But to be fair, as a schizophrenic, I need to spend twelve hours a day walking in circles.
Yeah we can think in a way no one else can, but digestive issues hurt so bad.
"you don't know shit" alright, I really, really needed that laugh this morning, and I am in your debt. You have my sincere thanks. :D
I'm an aspie. I'm not offended by the word. I use the word to describe myself. And btw, Maja, you are brilliant.
I love your eloquence.
This goes to all other kinds of "disorders" like Diabetes. I hate people saying "Don't say Diabetic, it's offensive" THE HELL IT IS...it's TRUE...I am a person who has diabetes, which means I am a Diabetic!! One and the same. Same as with my own Aspergers!! Thank you for sharing this video!!
It might just be the sound of the word "Aspie" that annoys some people, not the label itself. Words that end with a long "e" sound can sometimes have a condescending tone (e.g., calling a short person "shorty," or calling a cute person a "cutie.") So some people might think that "Aspie" (as opposed to "person with Aspergers") just sounds too cutesy and belittling, and that it trivializes the full ramification of the diagnosis. (I personally don't have a problem with the word; I'm just speculating how others might feel.)
I've learned a lot from your videos, thanks! also, im totally interested in reading Tony's book, thanks again:) I think we all have the potential to be awesome! -Cheers!
It's not offensive at all. Aspie is what we call each other.
"We" do? o_O No, no we don't - because you don't know me - and there's no "Official Aspergers Club" with a list of members... LOL.
I've never considered the word 'aspie' offensive. If somebody with asperger's wishes to address themselves that way, then that's fine. It's like a slur that people with asperger's have reclaimed for themselves. Similarly, black people often refer to themselves using the n-word and LGBT people often refer to themselves as 'queer'. It only becomes offensive when it is used against somebody with asperger's in a derogatory way with the intention of causing offense.
Hi AnMish and Hi all,
Just have to reply spontaneously 'as the thoughts come'. It's just a word, and in all my AS experience, it originates from Aspies themselves and an affectionate and acknowledging reference. Of course, its everyone right to refer to themselves as they wish, but my POV? It's a self-reference that takes a step away from the clinical diagnostic term and starts to dissociate the syndrome from the clinical markers which are essentially about identifying areas of difficulty/problems. Think it is helpful for Aspies and NTs alike to understand the origin of this word and to help each understand each other's POV, to uncover the similarities and strengths of each, as well as the differences.
It is very likely that now AS is gaining a cultural higher profile, the term will begin to gain negative association with some - ie., another word to devalue someone with.
I like the word 'Aspie', its fun. It's the negative associations are not. So, support the right to positive self-referral but don't negate those who are having a bad time by it; AS or NT alike.
Last word (yeah right!): whatever the term, I is as I am. As owners of the 'term', Aspie, Aspergian and whatever will develop next, let's be as flexible and inclusive as we can.
Apologises to AnMish for not watch the vid all the way through - just had to 'tap out' my pennies worth.
This is very, very good talk!!!
I think the reason who find the word "aspie" offensive are people who consider asperger's as something negative or even a disease. In the way the way that e.g. people schizophrenia probably wouldn't like others to say "that's the schizophrenic" because then the disease seems to be their main characteristics. The word "aspie" only becomes offensive when people define asperger's as bad.
The problem is that most people neither really know what asperger*s is nor how aspies feel about their "condition". Usually people only know that it's part of the autistic spectrum and then autism automatically brings rain man to their thoughts. I dare say that low functioning autism is sort of a dysfunction, people who have it are not able to care for themselves and you yourself said once that a lot of nonverbal autists would like to talk but their condition doesn't allow them to express themselves. And since asperger's are on the autistic spectrum, a lot of people automatically consider it a dysfunction.
Another thing is that, because of the lack of social skills, a lot of people who interact with aspies do not understand the syndrome at all and simply find them "weird" (hence the problem with the bullying). That's why they might find the word aspie offensive.
Finally, when it comes to relatives of aspies, especially parents - they probably see how their kids have to suffer in school etc and thus make the syndrome responsible for the bullying. And don't want them to be called aspie because they don't want to define their kids by the "evil" syndrome. I know that the real problem is not the problems but the other kids' ignorance and lack of understanding - still, i think you cannot really blame those relatives for having problems with the word aspie.
Anyways, let's hope that the word will lose its negative connotation soon and that a lot of people watch this video!
Best wishes :)
I don't see using "Aspie" as offensive. I was diagnosed in 2009 and since then I've had a lot of people work with me to get where I am today. I now do talks for parents who have had their children diagnosed on the autistic spectrum and I call myself an "Aspie" in those as well as in everyday life. There's nothing wrong with it
I think ASS-PEE it is MOST offensive and so is ASS-BURGERS. Hans Asperger is a German Doctor of great renown and deserves to have his name honored. There is no "B" and there is no "PEE" in his name and yes, words and language DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE every time. Lets call ourselves Aspergicans, proud Americans with Autism
+SBS “Aspergican” man "We" are not all American.
NT and others at times fail to acknownledge you can own a "lable/word or the lable can own you!!!" in terms medical/physical definitions.
You've got *so* much to be proud of! Nothing to be ashamed of.
And you communicate and express yourself damn well! D*on't let anyone else tell you what you can or can't say or express* - I see nothing you've done that's "wrong" or inappropriate.
And "aspie" isn't offensive - at least in any (common?) contexts I've known of or encountered it. At least most all the general usage I've encountered of it, it's generally a friendly casual slang for one having Asperger Syndrome or being on the Autism Spectrum - I think most commonly used by aspies referring to themselves - individually or as a group.
Seems rather, to me, like someone referring to themselves, accurately, as being (relatively) tall, or short, or blonde, or woman/female, or man/male - accurate, short, descriptive, is what it is, not offensive and doesn't "define"/limit the person ... other than rather accurately describing something that they are. No more, no less, and not something to avoid using as descriptor.
About the *only* context(s) I'd think "aspie" might be inappropriate, is in some professional contexts where one ought more precisely identify what one is talking about with a non-slang term (e.g. medical journal article - probably wouldn't write "aspie", just like one probably wouldn't write "germ" or "bug", but would generally use a more descriptive and less ambiguous (and non-slang) word, term or descriptive phrase). The only other context I think of where it would be inappropriate, is if someone were to frame it as a derogatory - but in such a case the problem isn't the use of the word "aspie", but using it as a derogatory (rather similar to using "gay" as a derogatory/pejorative - not cool, don't do that).
And don't apologize for getting angry. :-) Anger is an indicator that something's not right and should be addressed or changed. So long as one doesn't do something violent or otherwise inappropriate with being angry - well - anger ain't all bad. (As for myself, I exceedingly rarely get angry, and I also have an exceedingly ingrained pattern of dispensing with my anger - such rote ingrained habit/practice I do it really without even thinking about it: anger --> frustration --> energy --> do something useful (and generally constructive and appropriate) with/about it).
And great to hear from you again - always much enjoy hearing from you. (And again, you really don't need to apologize about, e.g. lighting, (wet/damp) hair, bit of sniffle or sneeze you have to deal with, etc.). By the way, the audio level was also excellent on this video.
I've watched this video a few times (I think Ive commented on it before, actually). I have suspected that I've been an Aspie for years. Yesterday, I found out that I am - the professional who told me what the diagnosis was, actually used that word, among many others, to describe my diagnosis.
When people say they are a thing, be it ginger (which I also am), or male, or female, or transgender, or heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or, I don't know, diabetic, WHATEVER, they are describing a part of themselves. Why shouldn't we be allowed to describe how our brains are structured, autistic people and neuro typical people alike? Its a characteristic we have. How is it different from me calling myself a son, or a male, or someone with a high level of education, or someone with a beard?! As far as the word Aspie goes, its a short form of the word Asperger's, and that's all it is - I completely agree. People use short forms to describe things about them all the time, and just because the word has been given a negative connotation by some people does not mean that it has to be defined negatively by everyone! We define what words mean to us for ourselves, its one thing no one else can do for us. Personally I do not find it offensive, it's not demeaning, it's not negative - it is an adjective used to describe a difference in brain structure. The structure of my brain has always been there, even before I was born into the world. If someone uses that or any other word negatively, its because their definition of that word is not positive - it doesn't mean we have to change our definition of it based on how its defined by another person, and we shouldn't. Last night, I'm sorry to say that I felt an attack of something like shame. Not because of how my brain is made up, not because I am an Aspie, but because of how someone reacted to this fact. I know that this person didn't mean to be unkind, I've known her for years and we are very close friends. Even if it was meant in a negative way, defining ones self based on the opinions of others is the very height of folly, because its constantly changing based on how they happen to be feeling and (hopefully) the amount of information that they have, the same as our own opinions are - it's something I will have to adjust to, and I will with time. In time, I would like to think that I will be able to educate people to some degree about what the word actually means, but I'm not there yet.
Anyway. I've waffled enough, I think - point is, you, me, we, every human/creature/living being, have/has the right to describe ourselves in terms that we are comfortable with and that accurately reflect who we are, and what is more fundamental to us than how our brains are structured, our very neurological make up? When I call myself an Aspie, it means I am someone with an other than typical brain structure, one who is strong and intelligent and has as much (maybe more) potential than many. And I like that about myself. I hope this finds you well. :o)
A lot of us have become too precious about words. I call myself a weirdo quite happily. I'm fine with Aspie.
As an aspie I totally agree with you.
Asperger is a great part of my life with his goods and bads aspects.
Nobody should tell us that it is offensive to use the word aspie.
There is nothing wrong with this word. This is not an insult for me.
It's just the way i use to introduce mself
I agree totally with you as an aspie. We see the world in ways normal people would not, with our heightened sense of hearing and seeing the word. Our brains are hyperconected. There are pros and cons. Some noises are unbearable and some types of light extra. Oh and I have no prob with the word aspie.
here is the best advice. assume you are normal and don't tell people you have it. nobody is smart enough to be able to tell if you can talk. people really aren't interested in us because we have it. they usually just like your personality. over thinking aspergers hurts my brain anyways
You summed up a lot of stuff I was never able to. I just never dealt with them because I couldn't untangle their nest of assumptions eliqantly but yeah. You speak for me too on this. If the wiring of your brain can't define you what can.
I found the word "Aspie" when I was figuring all this stuff out and found it very useful on the internet. If you google "Aspergers" you get medical stuff and stuff from parents of kids with aspergers but if you google "Aspie" you get actual aspies taking about their experiences.
Neurotypicals have a very preconceived and narrow expectation of what a "normal" person should look like and behave. For example they are quite irritated if one day I am depressed, sad, very quiet and the next rather humorous and bubbly. They always want to put people into their small little boxes and cannot handle contradictions and divergences. Being an aspie comes with many gifts and talents. However, our current society puts a huge emphasis on social skills, conformance and being extroverted, following all the trends as the only good way of living. Honestly, I would not want to become one of society's shallow boring neurotypical robots even if I could but I also struggle with being virtually an alien.
Wow your so positive, interesting and inspirational
I'm OK with Aspie or Asperger's. I tend to prefer full forms of words, so I have a preference for Asperger's, but why you prefer Aspie is very reasonable. I will most likely end up using both terms irregularly, just depends on my mood, context, etc.
Hi, thanks. I've been called many names over the last 4 decades, even nicknamed spock before. This really cannot offend me anymore, I cannot be offended by my existence. Whichever word is used is irrelevant. I excel, my POV is elevated, a true human being. We live such difficult lives, please don't let something this insignificant burden you further.
Is the brain structure different, or is it just function of parts of the brain (~ 7:30) ?
It's... I'm not sure. I could have used the wrong words. So far as I know, parts of the brain are doing things differently, but the interaction between parts of the brain are also different.
But seeing as everyone on the spectrum is so individual with how their autism is expressed, it could be there aren't as specific rules as they think, as of now.
But I really just mean "how my brain works and does shit". I'm not being scientific, I'm being emotional and expressing personal opinions. Wrong words end up in places when I do that. :)
TheAnMish I see. ;-) Could be that size matters in regard to different parts of the brain for persons on the autism spectrum, which would be structure. Structure in relation to function is a longtime interest of mine.
Thank you for this! Good points, well said. I can totally agree with you here.
I keep forgetting we're not allowed to voice opinions on the internet. (That is the joke). I'm ashamed to say "aspie" out loud, and I shouldn't. There's nothing wrong with words in theory. You hit the nail on the head! There's this stigma with being different is equal to being less than, that being different is a death sentence. But that's where everyone who doesn't have it is wrong. A lot of us can have happy lives, can live on our own, can have and keep a job, can have a wife/husband and children, we're only different, and our brains are just as valid as theirs. Minority is not evil. If it were, then America and Europe would be 90+% white people, and it's not like that, at all. Yeah, there's a stigma about being different, cause different is inherently wrong, or inherently bad. But it isn't. Time to smell the roses, society, right? I can speak, and I won't back down. If I want to speak, I'll use my words, not anyone else's words!