Self Doubt - a short film (shot in 12 hours.)

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  • Опубліковано 19 січ 2025
  • Context
    There was a 24 hour film making challenge which was conducted by the rushes film club and I had seen stories and posts of the challenge on my feed my friends stories and I remember contemplating each day should I participate ... should I ...Do I have it in me and after a lot of overthinking I decided not to participate or sign up
    and i remember waking up and thinking about it I realised I have no shot at it so I won't see any stories on insta then I won't feel any regret of not participating but I couldn't help but see the topic and it was static frames and I googled it up,watched few videos and instantly I was thinking of stories and ideas and I remember discussing with my sister and I asked her should I do it just for the sake of it,here I was seeking for that approval that I couldn't give myself and she told don't do it and I went back and I started thinking why.. dreading my decision and I remember noting down what I was feeling and I was just writing my heart out on the notes app,recorded few audios cause I couldn't physically get myself to type because I was feeling sick...sick because I lost another opportunity again and I took some time off and I listened to my audio and it was way painful and I felt okay let's do this anyways
    i grabbed my pen sat down wrote what I was feeling the self Doubt,the conflict the raw emotions and I sat down with a heavy heart recorded it,while recording the voices in my head finally had this space to vent out and the self Doubt didn't stop there,I saw stories of my friends with all nice gear and stuff and I asked myself why....will it even matter....then I just brushed it off and said let's just finish this,edit it off and see
    editing started and while editing the video wasn't converting properly there was some sort of an error around 4 times I had to save it, roadblocks were everywhere but finally it worked out,showed my sis,she finally for the first time ,she nodded her head saying this is fine and that was the green light for me and now I don't want to live on that feeling of regret,what happened - happened. Lesson learnt.

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