Dude. Every single word you said... and I mean Every. Single. Word... was spot on. I didn't get diagnosed with adhd until I was 40 years old. Knowing what I know now and looking back, so many things become clear. Girls are so often undiagnosed because our adhd manifests more as being daydreamy and less as disrupting the class. I was such an artist when I was younger. All I wanted to do, all I did, was draw and paint. But I was bad at math and English and history, so my parents would take away my art supplies and lock them up until I "stopped being lazy and applied myself." I went to art school for 2 years but dropped out because I couldn't draw the way I was told to draw, or paint the way I was told to paint, and my creative writing teacher hated me because I didn't write the way I was told to write. That was 25 years ago. I've hardly written or drawn anything since then. My heart breaks from wanting to, but I just can't get those voices out of my head that told me how wrong and lazy I was. I love learning; I devour information constantly on a daily basis. Turns out I actually love math and physics and history and all that stuff I was bad at in school. Absolutely love it. I love art. I love music. I love writing. And I don't know how to get all the voices of my past out of my head so I can actually participate in the things I love.
Hope you'll start to draw again soon. Screw those past, uninformed, ignorant people. I was diagnosed late too, and I too have had the toxic teacher that didn't like my art because it wasn't 'perfect'. Those people shouldn't be teaching, if they can't see outside the box/curriculum.
Hey Mary, draw, please draw. Don't worry how good or bad you think it is, just get yourself a cheep sketchbook from Ross, or Michaels or anywhere, and draw. Those voices of the past are ghosts, paint a dragon that blasts them away with its fire. And remember the words of Neil Gaiman, "Make Good Art." ua-cam.com/video/plWexCID-kA/v-deo.html
I feel that. No matter if I'm writting or drawing there's voice in my head telling me that's "waste of time" or "I'll never gonna be good enough". It's hard. But... I write for myself. I draw for myself. If I don't like it, if it isn't perfect, so what - it's done for me, noone else will see it until I allow that. An I'm not wasting time - it is my time and my time only and I do it to express myself. And it is in fact time still better spent than in front of TV, watching some drama I can't even remember title. At least it makes me feel better to remove words and pictures from my brain and put it onto pages and canvas. Now my brain can actually focus on dreadful experience called day-to-day life. So don't give up. Allow yourself to do things for you. Just for yourself. Grow and learn, search and compare, find yourself, your voice and your path in this mess of the world. I believe in you, even if you don't believe in youself. As I also don't dare to believe in myself. But I know, there are people who believe in me. That's how it works. So don't give up
I had the same experience Mary. An intense love of art... and then after naively going to art school and being told how to do my art, whether my art was good enough, and what my art SHOULD be about, etc. my love and ability to do my art withered away. It found it's way into my cooking, which is my new art, but I still struggle to reclaim the artist within that could draw and paint. I wish you the best in reclaiming your sense of expression as I am doing myself. I am confident it can nurtured and regrown!
Being Autistic with ADHD and OCD, school was unbearable. I couldn’t focus, I was scared, etc. The system tends to sugarcoat the living hell out of learning disabilities, making it harder to find help. (Or that’s what it feels like at least) The school just made me feel like “oh I’m just quiet” or “oh I’m just shy”. No. I’m genuinely confused, lost, and have no idea what I’m doing or what’s going on . But the school isn’t going to say that. They’re going to make it sound like I’m just another shy child who’s just slower and will catch up eventually. No. I AM D I S A B L E D. I am not normal. I just want schools to actually capture and understand the severity of it all. But, my teachers were helpful during my times of struggle. Or at least they made things easier during the final stretch of the year and the beginning of this year. I’m at home now, but I’m still struggling. I just hope I can find something good out of this.
Yes. It’s just hurt when I say “Mom, I’m depressed” and all I get is “No, you’re not. Depression is something extreme, and only few chosen ones get it”. I feels you man. Hope you could find a way to live with it
My own mother kept telling me the reason I wasn't preforming well in school because I'm lazy, that I'm choosing to not study for hours on end, that I'm choosing to not pay attention, and the teachers only affirmed her views, and of course, I wouldn't question it because adults always know better right? It took me until I was over twenty to realize I have autism and ADHD, I could have done so much better if I was correctly diagnosed and medicated, it fucking hurts so much. And let's not get into all the bullying and ostracization because of my autism, feeling like a freak and knowing why. This institution needs to do better.
i'm home schooled, but i have bad anxiety, o.c.d, possibly also a.d.h.d, insomnia, asthma, and a few others, i feel you. i say that the only advantage public school has over home school is better socialization and exercise.
I realized recently that despite knowing about the diagnosis, no one bothers to learn what it means. I also realized that when people say "oh, that's not true" or "you can't blame everything on that" and so on, they're doing it because it's easier for themselves. It was a tough medicine when I realized that.
I… literally just last night was emailing my game design professor about how much I was struggling with balancing ADHD, chronic illness, and then all of the stress of finals and school- fully expecting a “well I can give you an extension” type response. Instead, I woke up to an email expressing full understanding, and an offer to sit down over Zoom and work through what I was struggling with one on one. You can imagine my relief. And then I saw this video in my subscription feed, and I’m wondering if the universe is trying to tell me something haha- I appreciate your thoughts as always, Adam. :) thank you!
Good luck with your classes. I can't relate to ADHD or chronic illness, but I can only imagine because just classes themselves and other personal problems make it hard to finish these crazy, time-consuming, intense pieces.
lol u lucky my teacher yelled at me and was forious that i used ADHD as an excuse she was one of a kind I tell u that luckily it turned completly when I started art schools I was suddenly the most beloved one and learned rly fast
I cried when you spoke about the school experience for someone who is neurodivergent. Growing up I didnt know I had ADHD. After grade 5 my grades really plummeted, I could easily memorize a chunk of information during class, but if I had to sit down after school and spend hours on homework I just couldn't get myself to do it. I couldnt read pictureless books, my brain would start thinking of something else, I remember having to reread the same one line over and over and over again. The only thing that helped was gamefying learning. I had a history teacher in highschool who would basically do a point trivia on the lesson from yesterday and that environment actually made learning interesting again. But that was far from the norm. Games were considered "for children" which at the age of 15-16 apparently we were "not"... The amounts of times i've heard from my parents *"if you only paid as much attention to your studying as you do to cartoons..."* to this day it genuinely hurts, because I tried, I *really really* tried, but my brain would tune out the monotone voices of disinterested teachers, would struggle trying to sit down and not fidget for 45 minutes at a time, and then in university it was a nightmare to sit still for 1h30 (drawing on my hands is the only thing that helped me). My love for art was killed in 3rd grade. I went to art lessons over the summer, when we were back in school I had brought a painting I had made during those classes and my homeroom teacher, who was an artist, in front of the entire class in a mocking voice said "There is no way you did this". Of course I had lots of help, of course the drawing wasn't fully made by me, *but that's not the point*! You don't make fun of a CHILD, someone so fragile and early into their development, to make yourself feel good! From that time I was on and off from art, it drew one thing every couple of years, would hate it and stop. Art was something deemed unimportant, it was not a "serious" career. In highschool when I had a really sweet teacher who, never told us what to draw even if the curriculum "demanded" it, saw me sit down and be interested in what i was doing and told me "You're really good, I think you should continue doing it" that really meant something. But from then i was still on and off, I hated almost anything I made, It was never "good enough". It took until nearly 15 years for me to actually sit down and be truly passionate about art. 15 years of hating everything I did, even though it was the only thing I was passionate about doing. I wasn't lazy, I was bored. I hated doing stuff that I couldn't give two shits about and no one could give me an explanation other than "because". Ive literally pulled hair out from stress trying to read through documents on a subject I DIDNT EVEN SIGN UP TO DO, a subject that HAD NOTHING to do with my university course! We had to *perform well* no matter what, and that makes me sick, because we got blamed for something we had no control over! It's torture asking thousands of people that can't change, to conform to a system that can.
As a drop out of high school, this spoke worlds to me. I cannot explain enough about how hard it was to stay in school even though I had some of the best teachers that genuinely cared for my wellbeing. But because my school didn't push for the arts, it was hard enough to work for something I didn't want in my future. The thing was, I actually got really good grades, even got the top of my year level once but that was only because I memorised and put effort into them. To prove to others that I was capable of 'good things'. For years I had this feeling that I was wasting my efforts and it was hard coming to the decision of dropping out when everyone around me of power disapproved it. They always tried to push me out of it, with words of 'if you just applied yourself more', 'you only have a year left to finish', or 'not worth it' saying that I wouldn't be able to handle the public. I find it ironic now when that was the very thing school was intended to do, prepare me for the outside world. They all saw dropping out as 'quitting' and that if done, the person was weaker and wasn't resilient enough to finish, when in my eyes saw independence, freedom and growth. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety a year ago. I'm constantly struggling to fix the mindset that my school has implemented into me and as of now I'm in a university of arts. But still, some subjects aren't in the line of the work I'm intending to go in. Although I respect them, I still have to exhaust so much effort into them just because they still care about grades and proving my worth again and again. Hopefully one day ill be able to have a guilty free conscience. (I just want to thank you Adam so much for being a beacon during my darker times in high school, you gave and is still giving me courage to push for the things I want in life)
This video hits so hard. I went most of my life as an undiagnosed autistic until recently. Because I never showed "major" symptoms in my development, my "eccentricities" were always viewed as such - and subsequently were punished accordingly. By the time I reached the age of being socially conscious/aware and onward, I constantly felt like I had to suppress and "correct" any aspects about myself that made me different - even to the slightest degree - if I wanted to survive in normal society. For so many years, I felt like I was living in the skin of a whole different person; and it was internalized to the point where I was unable to let loose because I couldn't even tell the difference anymore. All of it eventually culminated in a really deep depression that I'm still recovering from years later. I'm not entirely sure if there's a point to all this rambling, just that I feel compelled to share some of my experiences and thoughts through listening to and reading the experiences of your's and others' in the comments alike. I guess I'm just being very long-winded in saying *thank you* - not only for this video, but for always being a voice of reason in the youtube art community and for allowing others (myself included) to not feel so alienated.
Thank you for sharing! I'm autistic too and I've done exactly what you did growing up. I suppressed so much of my true self for the sake of appearing 'normal'. I feel I've lost touched with myself so much. I'm 27 now and I'm slowing trying to bring back my old self, or at least validate the person I know I am. It's not easy tho. I'm still so shy and oh so awkward. I often just avoid social interactions completely if I have the choice. I hope we both can feel like ourselves again and express it unapologetically, despite all the conditioning
God Adam, this hit me like a brick. I was told from kindergarden and up that I would grow up to be a failure either directly in my face or I was treated like it. I was constantly being compared to my sister which was at the time basically a model student and perfect in every way in all the teachers eyes. I was being told constantly "Why can't you be more like your sister" and once they even got so frustrated with me that they threw me chair and all into the hallway sliding across the floor. After having lost all confidence in myself they gave me an IQ test which I did so badly on that they thought I was mentally disabled(
As a freelance online English teacher I can get behind it. Nothing beats private teaching. Always more effective and you can track every thought that your student has which is priceless. It is a hint on what to do next. The best way to teach somebody is just to understand their own learning flow and play along with it. Almost impossible to do in a group.
@@gravesilk322 Well, you're not gonna be dependent on your parents forever, are you? Just keep learning it yourself. But until then, maybe just keep nagging on them, and they will eventually give in)
Also, for anyone who is struggling with ADHD and looking for tools or resources - 1. A book called "Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD" by Tamara Rosier. It was a tough read and brought up lots of emotions, but well worth it. 2. "The Anti-Planner" by Dani Donovan, is a book full of strategies to help those of us who struggle with motivation and procrastination due to ADHD.
I gotta say I'm probably and most definitely somewhere on that spectrum. Sarcasm does need some wit to come up with things so quickly. My mind doesn't match the art skills, yet I am listening to you, playing a game and thinking of designs I want to/plan to create. To say, my mind is chaos, is accurate, because a thousand thoughts are coming and going, from ideas, to visuals, to thoughts ranging from art to my life and being a caretaker, to work and how I want to leave, but I can't because money and need to build skills up so I can start the art journey and free myself to create. It is not hard to just lose yourself in your creativity, especially if you're building a world, that has stories, and the life that fills the world. I've lost hours sometimes in that mindset of just "roaming the landscape" in said world. Or most oddly, is I can, in my head almost sculpt out like visually in my head sculpt out or sometimes even paint out vaugely what I more consciously am thinking. All in my mind, but in the "real world"? Not even close.
I got diagnosed with ADHD 3years ago, and relly recently with autism. School was hell for me. Since highschool I knew I wanted to work in art. But I always had "no it's not a real job, you can't. You have to do science. You have great capacities", I missed highschool many many times, faking illsness, to stay at home reading, drawing and feeling happy to learn what I was passionate about. I had to take 3times the final test to get a diploma. And it burnt me out. A diploma which was never ever used. Even when I got to the art university, they were focused to produce neurotypical teacher. It was more easy because I could learn some things that I loved, but once again...diploma which never been used. And finally got to a art school, few people with teacher who was pationed about what they were doing. Best time of my life, but couldn't keep up. Now as a freelancer who try to leave and learn by herself, not easy. But I'm so happy, I do what I love, I learn at my own pace, and chat with people who are loving what they do. And supports me a lot with my everyday struggles. I mentor a bit for an online art school. And I happy to learn to other (mostly people with ADHD and other struggles), to help them and seeing them growing and becoming eager to learn more in the field. The public/general educational system is broken, not only in France or Canada, but everywhere. I hope things will change, and I try as much as I can do, support and act for this changes.
Thank you. As someone with severe adhd, that grew up in the 80's and 90's in Ontario... Who tried to go to college as an adult expecting it to be different and being dissapointed that it wasn't, your so-called rant is greatly appreciated. My daughters are both like me and struggled in different ways when they were in school. One struggled socially and the other struggled with the acedmic side of things. I struggled with both. The school system has its pride and won't consider for even a moment that it's wrong to not evolve. That it's wrong to not learn from other countries and talented educators. The conversation DOES need to happen and the system as a whole needs to stop trying to shove everyone into the exact same size and shape box. Thank you for starting the conversation and I look forward to watching more on this subject.
I really hated the education system. I always wanted to find a solution. What you have told is all facts. can you talk about what you think are possible solutions? How we can structure a new system? I have been thinking about a new system where everyone can be included. My brief " current system is designed to filter out, filter out those who don't fit in to a specific field or skill set. What we need, is a system where sorting happens. Children are not taught, they are guided, they are exposed to new areas, fields, morals and life lessons. But they are not forced to follow a specific path."
Hai I'm an 18 year old artest in HS, I have ADHD and (highly suspected) autism. My experience has been no one is really compromising, I remember taking a math test in 6th grade and got a 100 but the teacher did not like the way I did it so I got a 50 because I used my own methods, but she never would explain it enough so I had to figure out my own way of doing it. Iv had meany similar experiences along with the rounds of harassment in JH. My savings grase was my ability to try even with no belief in myself, this is how I crawled out of depression over a few years. But the art class- well I personally feel disrespected by the way is conducted. Too at least my school, all art class art 1 ,2 ,3 ,4 and ap art are all mashed together, and no one cares if the kids misbehave so they play loud explicit content and and take all of the teachers attention, and when I do get it I am not given any critique even when beginning for it. Apparently the teacher dose not know any fundamental aside from 1/2 point perspective. Im hearing how hard it is to make it in this industry so I'm work every hour I got outside of school, witch take almost all time and energy. I have lost almost all fath in school. This terrifies me of college and I'm going to be taking a mentorship with tiler eddilin, and be as self edd as I can. Anyways now days I'm an all A student, and I can say back when I was struggling, with education and my social life they had no sympathy for me, I had to stick my neck out to have it bit then do it again countless times to find how to survive. Heh, sorry if this comes off as a rant I don't mean that, just lil sower. Is ok now trying to live my best life and take care of my body so I can manage the work. All you guys helping on the internet are monumentally helpful. Iv been listening for a while and back when I was having a hard time you were really comforting
It seems like a lot of us artists have had the same-more or less-shared experiences. It's all I ever wanted and dreamed of doing, being an artist. Whatever being an artist means to one person might not be what it means to someone else. However, the public education system has robbed a lot of creative beautiful people of that passion in making that dream a reality, all because they teach not only to "create professors" but they teach to create an educated enough working class: laborers. They don't encourage creative thinking or the use of one's imagination. They're all about tasks and rit learning. Regurgitating what they teach and were taught like a production line in a factory that's designed by design to produce grey uninterested un-unique cogs. So, people with ADHD or that are neurodivergent get treated with less understanding, less patience, less better ways to engage their students by underpaid undereducated teachers that are or becoming just as burned or burned out as the students. Your story Adam is painfully but fortunately relatable. Painfully because it still seems to be a problem for the new generations. And fortunately relatable, because, we that have found solace in what you share here, we are not alone. Thank you for making a difference. ❤️
I'm a video game design and animation instructor at a magnet high school and whew this video brought me to tears on multiple levels.(I have ADHD and I’m an educator! 😀) As an educator, I 100% agree. The public school system is not set up well for neurodivergent people. At our school we do our best to accommodate and support students, and from what I hear, we are better than most, but it's not enough. It's impossible to give every student the one on one attention they deserve. I do my best to help as many students as I can but the workload is just too much to give them the support they need. They are not set up for success, and the teachers are not either. Unfortunately, school is just as draining for me as it is for the students. With so many people needing so much attention at once all having different needs, entering grades for over 120 students, communicating with all their parents, being on top of the students so they complete their work, being available to answer questions, teaching the lessons and building new ones to keep up with the ever changing industry, and taking classes when not teaching to earn a teaching certificate at the same time (it’s required for me to teach the course) there is physically not enough time in the day to do even the basic tasks required of me. I work hard every single day to complete all of these tasks but always fall short and it feels like it’s just never enough. It becomes overwhelming, draining, and begins to physically, mentally, and emotionally take its toll. It consumes all aspects of my life and in order to keep up with the workload, it is inevitable that work has to be taken home (I’ve tried not to and it’s physically impossible). We are set up for failure before we begin. In order to keep a healthy work life balance, I do my best to limit the amount of time I work from home. I only give an extra 1-2 hours of work outside of school hours. If I don’t keep limitations, my mental and physical well-being begin to suffer. But because I keep these limitations, I am behind most of the time. I’m doing my best to be the best teacher I can be and provide the best education I can to these students, but this job is not designed with a work life balance in mind. I’ve learned that in order to do well as a teacher you have to put all of yourself into it in and outside of work. And if you purposely choose to not do so, there is a price to pay. The overall student experience suffers. Most teachers I work with do everything they can to set their students up for success, but at the expense of their personal well-being. I love helping others. It’s who I am. I’m not one to be in the spotlight, but enjoy supporting the crap out of those who are and inspiring others to achieve their dreams. My goal as an educator is to give these students the most relevant knowledge and tools needed for the game or animation industries before they even start college. I want them to be over prepared and set up for success. That passion to support and help them succeed and my love of art is what drives me. But unfortunately the job is so overwhelming and draining it feels like it’s sucking the life and passion right out of me and I know I’m not the only teacher who feels this way. I know this is a lot, but I share all of this so that people can see the way the educational system is designed doesn’t just set students up to fail, it sets the instructors up to as well and it is a shame. More and more teachers are leaving the industry because of it. Unless things begin to change for the better within the public educational system, this pattern is going to continue. Thank you for listening to anyone who read this, and to any other teachers out there in a similar boat, thank you for what you do. You are making a difference. ♥
I changed my mind, I have to sat this before I loose this train of thought. This will probably come out extremely vague but here's the short version. What I would like to expected in teachers. I'd say the knowledge and skill on the subject should be second to the ability of understanding to the student. Everyone learns differently, everyone thinks and processes information differently. Maybe the focus on expectation of a Teacher should be they're ability to empathize, understand and learn they're students. Personally I'm able to read and learn people very well to the point where I can almost jump into they're shoes in my head to understand where they are coming from, how they think and what and how they feel how they about whatever it is. I don't personally know many people that can do that but I can so I know it's possible. Long story short, connection with people should matter more than anything else. Learning in the educational system promotes and favors the analytical mind but I feel doesn't fully support the creative mind nor does it fully understand it. At times schools will play off that they support it but the grading still comes to grading and numbers. ,Thank you
My eldest has ADHD, and the public school system was such a miserable experience that I ended up homeschooling him. Definitely resonated with the "disruptive" and "not applying himself" comments. Personalized curriculum and the freedom to follow his interests helped a lot, so I applaud your efforts to provide individual attention to all of your students. I know it makes all the difference for neurodivergent people.
Thank you for this, I really needed to hear it. I had a difficult uni experience because of my cPTSD and autism, and even being classed as a disabled student (with the government papers to prove it) none of my tutors believed me. No one took me seriously, and some people (tutors included) enjoyed bullying me. After having graduated for a couple of years now, I can see that everything about me that they mocked are qualities that will help me in the industry. It's really affirming hearing from pros like yourself that we're not defective.
it's highly interesting how Neurodiverse people have this... almost uncanny pull to another by unifying experiences and the mere fact, that we think somewhat alike. I have the tendency to befriend people that are simply alternatively minded just to find out that they are or suspect to be neurodiverse which led me down the rabbit hole of psychology and neurology years ago. I finally got my own courage together to go the path of diagnosis (appointments still pending) of what I suspect to be a mix of Autism and AD(H)D.
I dropped out from animation in public school too. In the end I couldn’t drop another basic class (french and such) because it would lose my right to go to college. That term I saw myself going the same path as usual so I officially quit before I couldn’t anymore. It was the final nail on the board written “failure” on my chest. I have been diagnosed with ADHD at 33 (35 now) and I learned to be myself and to see my value. Now I draw and I take courses online for my own enjoyment. I am still wanting to put myself out there art wise it’ll come someday :) The real tragedy that I see is when another fellow human being devalues themselves compared to human beings. When I see someone feeling “less than” it freaking breaks my heart. It is a crime against personhood and humanity to let someone be in that dark place no matter the reason. If you are in that place and you’re still standing I salute you. If you think you feel like that don’t downplay it. You have the right to feel loved and appreciated. It is not weakness or laziness. You are knee deep in tar and tears yet you still try to live a “normal” life and to be here. You are a warrior and you deserve respect for that.
Wow what a relief valve of a video. After decades of putting all of that pressure on myself not fitting into a system, and having potential, and not finding a place that works for me. The line "This is a gifted brain, not a broken brain" brought me to tears, and there is so much pain in that fight with yourself. Realising that i'm wired differently and that it's ok, i'm not of less value. Thank you Adam
Dude, BLESS your precious ever-needed heart. I've been hoping I wasn't the only person who sees all this shit in the education system, and I'm so damn glad you are so open to using your platform to help truly educate people. One of my goals in life is to help reform education, and you inspire me to feel that it's actually possible. My sister had a science teacher who would come to class high as a kite, drink vodka out of a water bottle, and disrespect and condescend the students. It took FOREVER for the school to recognize this and fire him. I once had a drama teacher with a seriously ratty atitude. Drama teachers are supposed to inspire you to really get into acting, not make you shrink in your shell because you're taking too long to drop your bag off in her class so you could go to lunch and she could eat alone. I also once had a math teacher whose name was literally Shirk... And that's exactly what he did, shirked his responsibilities. He would put calculus problems on the board or create them himself without actually knowing how to solve them. It would confuse all his classes, and he'd yell at the STUDENTS and blame the STUDENTS for not putting in the effort to understand the work. EVERY single one of his classes, almost EVERY student, was failing math. I had a 3.7 gpa before taking his class. After dropping out at the END of the semester, because I was just that determined to fit into the government's cookie cutter mold, I ended high school with about a 2.3 or 2.1 gpa. Barely getting my diploma. I kid you not, I left school dumber in math than I began. And unfortunately, that "man" was never fired. I had to retake precalc in college, even though I succeeded in high school before Shirk's calc class. I would've had to retake precalc A THIRD TIME had I not dropped out of college. The teacher's assistant for this college class sometimes wouldn't even show up when he was supposed to teach certain days. He'd explain things like a broken record or literally just say "do this" and snap at the kids or be dopey as fuck. I told the teacher, and she said all that will get him fired, so I can assume I at least got that guy out of there. I was going for astrophysics, but I was forced to take electives having nothing to do with my major. Since I applied late, I wasn't even allowed to take any of the classes associated with my major 'cause of "class size." I took a dance class since I'm also interested in that. I swear, the teacher literally pulled someone off the street to be the substitute some days. This other guy was showing highly advanced techniques to beginners and saying "now you do it." And I get that the style of dance the actual teacher taught is much older (70s funk), but he wouldn't let us use music that WE vibed with for the finals, only 70s music, "nothing synth or modernized." BORIIIIING! In 7th grade, I had an English teacher who passed my desk while I was struggling to think of a word's definition. I tell her I know how to use it, but I can't figure out what it means. She suddenly gets fucking angry and says "that's impossible. There's no such thing as knowing how to use a word without knowing what it means. Try harder."
I was also trying to take as many advanced classes as possible in high school, failing or scoring average in all. My friend at the time was taking all average level classes and not pushing herself in school in the least. She was getting all As. This to me screams of the problem we all have with obssessing over or just simply perceiving "grades." What a way to immediately eradicate someone's ambition. School NEEDS to have curiosity. If there's ANYTHING that I've learned that needs to be reformed in schools, it's the importance of having and cultivating the CURIOSITY TO DISCOVER AND PURSUE.
@patbollin here. Adam, you literally just quoted my life story of young education and job experience at about the 10+ minute mark, and then beyond about the need to constantly learn. And then what you said at the 16 min mark about excelling in work environments where you were able to shape the process and environment to your needs, that's me too. I felt like the school system failed me miserably in my younger years. I had some bad and some really good experiences in art school. I've got some pretty hard opinions about the art school system myself that I discuss with some of the guests on my channel as well. In fact I think I've named you in a few videos as one of the people providing a viable alternative method of education online along with Proko and several others. The social environment is what I've named as "the only good reason to go to art school". Good video, sir. Keep doing what you're doing.
Hey Adam, I just wanted say how meaningful your channel has been for me, thank you for sharing these thoughts and initiating these kinds of important conversations. I have to say this system is equally broken for everyone. Even as that top of the class A+ student who had the capacity to navigate the education system, I was truly miserable. I was constantly burnt out and had my self-worth so closely linked to the work I produced that I saw very little value in myself if I made a mistake or failed. My senior year of high school I gave a presentation centered around creativity in schools, also using Ken Robinson as a cornerstone and was.... promptly led to have a "conversation with counselor" due to my passionate frustration. It really wasn't until I recently got out of college that I realized truly how much the education systems were holding me back. Just like you I'm in love with learning everything and anything, and love working on both art and projects that connect me to other people. Sometimes I wonder what it be like had things had been different from the start,
Isn’t that telling - you’re the one most people would call the “lucky one” yet you too feel that the system short changed you somehow That really unlocks a whole other dimension to this topic doesn’t it
I'm the exact same way, I've always been "top of the class" and a dean's list student. But honestly, I have considered dropping out of college so many times because of the multiple, multiple issues I have had with it, many of which are the exact same ones you mentioned. The formal education system as it stands is probably the most creatively stifling environment you can be in.
@@AdamDuffArt I have ADHD & PTSD (diagnosed). Last week I discoverd your Art Talks. I was moved to Tears by your Empathy & Wisdom . You touched my Heart & it felt like it was sb. with ADHD. Im not a real psy, only a psychology enthusiast ([not only p.] espacially adhd ) & i perceived you as someone with ADHD. I hope to lern n discuss , from n with you all the meaning of Emotions, Aesthetics & Creativity. p.s. i
What we need is people with Passion: passion to teach something they can't get enough of and a system that respects and pays one of the most important jobs in a society. I will never forget my high school English Teacher. He treated us like people, he listened and tried to convey his love for literature like it was his calling in life. He offered us a space to breathe amidst the chaos of grades, unreasonable bullshit, tests and stress. I learned through him the capacity to stop, breathe and look into myself. He knew what he was doing was unconventional, he knew other adults were laughing behind his back...but his integrity is something I always admired in him, and still do. He made me fall in love with Dante's "Divina Commedia" because he loved it to pieces. And I think it's a testament to his teaching abilities that I, more than 10 years later, still remember him fondly and have written a story by drawing immense inspiration from that work of art. We need people to teach people, we need open communication, we need humanity in schools.
I can't tell you how spot on you are, as I'm sure many others feel the very same way in the comments and who are watching. There were even times when the school didn't teach me anything and then test me and then call me below average. I did summer school almost every year except high school and mostly middle school. I was mostly known as the dumb, oblivious, and daydreamy kid. No matter what I did I couldn't focus or keep myself from zoning out or daydreaming; maybe even dissociation. I became so ashamed and hated myself. I stopped asking questions and pretended I knew what was going on or else I'd risk getting scolded by teachers or made fun of. I thought I wouldn't go anywhere. Now I'm self teaching or learning in small classes as an adult (not in college anymore), I'm learning so well and fast, and understanding so many things because everything is explained. Nothing is glazed over. I love learning, and I just learned that I'm great at a lot of things that I thought I sucked at. Nope. Just poor government teaching regulations. I love art but I realized that the reason why I loved art was because it was more accepting than other subjects in public schools. It's more willing to make mistakes. Now, I'm trying out new things, and I'm good at them, too! Art will always be my favorite, but now that I'm not in hell/school I can learn so much better and begin to love every subject.
10:00 this sounds exactly like me.. I didn’t learn until a few years AFTER I failed out of college that I had adhd. And I was encouraged away from pursuing art not by my parents but by everyone else for one reason or another. I remember crawling my way through high school and feeling so much shame and asking myself “if I’ve got all this potential, all this intelligence, all this creativity, why is it so hard for me to just get good grades like everyone else?? What’s wrong with me??” And the pressure of what i knew my future would be like, because from the outside it was “she’s just not working hard enough”, was absolutely soul crushing. I’m still learning how to uncrush my soul at 28, honestly. Now so much time later, I know myself better and I’m finally on medication that is helping, but it feels impossible to start over or to start again the right way-in a way that I know I can better set myself up for success. I can’t go back to school at the moment because it’s expensive, but it’s such a challenge to create my own structure. I know I’m good at teaching myself-I’ve taught myself what I know thus far, I’ve taught myself digital art, music, French-there was a time I was really into jewelry smithing and I went through the process of teaching myself how to do it at home. I’ve taught myself so much already, but when it comes to turning that into something consistent and sustainable, I need structure. And the kind of structure I find is very pass/fail, and that soul crushing feeling comes right back. I need to study art, but I have to do it on my own, and anyone with adhd knows long term goals are HARD. No one can expect opportunities to fall from the sky, but it feels like that happens so much to everyone else around me who is able to fit themselves into the mold that rewards that kind of grindset, pass/fail type of consistency. And honestly, I’m still trying to heal the part of me that says ‘you’ll never succeed anyway’.
I'm a highly intellectually gifted individual with autism. I might be a man now, but growing up as a woman a diagnosis for autism was something I essentially had to prove to others even after receiving my diagnosis because the appearance outwards was that I "functioned too well to be autistic". But the truth is I'm just incredibly good at masking. Reading patterns and following them is one of the things I absolutely excel at in life. Furthermore school was a breeze, intellectually speaking. I'm booksmart. I see the patterns, I follow them, and that gets me splendid grades. Up until high school. See, I don't come from a good upbringing. And in my mid-teens, my entire life shattered and to this day I'm still trying to repair myself from the trauma of growing up in the environment I did. But finding my way back from the brink of falling over the edge, I've spent years looking inwards and learn about myself. I learnt that I needed a sex change, I learnt that I am autistic, I learnt that my discomforts in social circumstances weren't just me being bullied or not having a good homelife but rather that I just didn't share the same values and needs as the people around me. I understood from childhood that I was different somehow, that my social needs and how I viewed people around me weren't quite the same as everyone else. And in my teens, the social bit became too overwhelming. I grew to use headphones, and I fought for them like crazy- had many fights with teachers because they sure as hell weren't taking the one out of two things that helped me focus away from me. I also had my sketchbooks, that I always kept by my side even during class throughout my entire teens. Over and over again I stood on my own to bloody feet and told every last one of them that they're not separating me from my sketchbook, because it was the only thing that could help me focus during lessons. And I was always couped up in a corner, where I felt the least exposed, by a window so that I wouldn't feel trapped. And the lights. Whenever I could I would be in a room with the lights turnt off, because it was yet just another sensory stimuli that exhausts me. For a long time they called it general anxiety disorder, social phobia included. But in hindsight that was just a symptom. Goodnes gracious put me in a safe environment and I'd be the butterfly of the room, socialised well and people were drawn to me. But it had to be on my terms, and the sensory sensitivities are the real struggle. It's only now in hindsight that I know that an earbud in one ear shut out the overwhelming noises, and by focusing on my sketchbook I removed much of the visual stimuli that otherwise exhausted me. But more than anything it was the only reprieve from the madness. The only way to find my little bubble of my own space. I can't even begin to mention how often I locked myself in the bathroom, kneeled and cowered down as I would just try to get a grip, just to have even a minute to breathe. Not every one of us has own breakdowns in public, there are many who hide away and no one knows the better. As for the school tasks? Again, my school performance plummeted in high school. I was overwhelmed with the information. I read the paper, the instructions for the assignments, and I could not for the life of me understand what I was supposed to do. Not because I was stupid, gracious no. But because it was too much information, too much widdy waddle and contradictions and fluff and padding. And I didn't see the why. Give me clear instructions, remove the padding, set clear limitations, clear goals and I'll get right at it. But the assignments were never structured like that. They never had a why. And when I asked? "Because the school system says so." Well then don't bloody expect me to be able to make sense out of... Meanwhile I couldn't for the life of me be arsed to care about subjects that were presented in uninteresting ways. I tried so hard it was crazy, but I could not bring myself to work with crap that served me no purpose. And when I asked for help, to understand what to do, and why we were doing it? I got yelled at. Because apparently I wasn't trying hard enough. "If you don't give me why I won't comply." summarises it perfectly. If I did not understand why I was doing something, I couldn't make sense out of it and I couldn't perform. All of this screams autism. And yet, people wouldn't believe me even when I showed up with the papers. Because it was so much easier for them to think that I was a lazy and problematic student who just didn't want to do schoolwork. - And then whenever the nationals came around I scored the highest grades. Yea, you'd wonder about that. Because whenever I was given the opportunity to do something at my terms, I would excel. I would perform better than anyone in any class I was ever a part of. Because I understood the rules, the patterns and I was focusing on the why's and not the how's. But I could not handle the school system. I could not handle the classroom environment. The social environment. And I almost dropped out. I was actively wagering the decision more than once, but I made it through. Only barely, I burnt myself out in the process and then went into rehab for three years afterwards. It's ridiculous, how a system meant to prepare people for society actively forces some of us out of it. It took me years to get to the point now when I genuinely feel capable enough to work, but even now I am terrified of ending up in a place where I'm considered as less than just because my brain can't handle an environment with everyday sensory input. But give me a quiet room where I can have autonomy over my own space and stimuli, and I will perform like crazy and I will do it well. I just wish people would understand the severity and importance that and not dismiss me for being unwilling or less than.
Oh.... My ... God! This is so heartwarming for me. Adam, on the related note of how school is working I agree. I from Philippines, the education system here is similar but also the same. Like it's a long long long hours of lectures but the teachers are bad at it. Lazy even. they got no fire no passion or anything. I watch your video, ergojosh, Rossdraws and so many other people from the internet and I learn so much more in a 25min. video than an 8hr. of nonstop lecture or reporting or whatever ingenious lazy strategy my teachers can come up with. I kind of convinced myself that I wasn't student material. because what you said... "He's got potential but not actually applying them" is what got me. I got told that so many times that I thought of myself as someone who isn't fit for college, or a community. I told my parents that I want a creative driven course like fine arts, multimedia, animation and stuff like that. but no Philippines need the practical and "Real" professionals like engineering, doctors, and lawyers. I hated myself that I followed what the school system and society told me to follow. I can't love you enough for speaking about this!
Spot on. Exactly my story. I was a lazy student, distracted. Afraid since 5 years old if I did not step up my game I was threatened that I had to do a year over. Study was supposed to be work Hard for. With angry voices. And so many times I had to stay longer after school was finished as a kind of punishment, but I loved the one-on-one time with the teacher, helping, cleaning the class, the chalkboard, straightening the tabels and chairs and in the meantime having meaningful conversations. Having the time for the teacher to express their knowledge in a way that I was able to get it. Me lazy, no and yes, except... when I do 'nothing', as was explained to me sinceI was a child up until adulthood (now 46), I am always doing something; learning like you about many things, binging UA-cam channels, even the ones who are 3 hours long! Every year I invest in getting trainings, workshops. I invest thousands each year in schooling myself, because it is Fun! Because I am curious! Because I love to better myself. And during all my time doing nothing, like binging on movies or series, I get inspired, my thoughts are going this way and that. So many times I have to rewind for this. And I use this inspiration, I write in iA writer, I reorganize the companies I work for/with, I participate in many groups, connecting all my thoughts/dots. And it is great to inspire people with my views on live, especially the ones with fixed views, showing that there are many, many more options. Showing the difference, good or bad, vs getting more or less the desired outcome aka almost everything is good(ish), it just needs some adjustment. And it angers me working with individuals in power with closed opinions destroying peoples lives, destroying companies, destroying society because they believe only they have the Only answer, their way or the highway. I believe everyone is good, and wants to do good, but many are blocked, frustrated, hindered in a way they are unable to deliver. Thanks for this video, loved the speed of your talking, the sound of your voice, the choice of words, the background, the lighting and above all the piano. It relaxed me. Going to follow you more. With love, Iris from Rotterdam, The Netherlands 🥰
Adam, I don't know what to say. All of this resonates with me on such deep levels, I love you for speaking so passionately about this issue, because it IS an issue and it's a massive one. Being Swedish, I often get the "well you guys seem to have a good grasp on how to deal with these issues" well yeah maybe now in 2022 we have an increased knowledge and it's more normalised than it was in the 90's when I was a kid. Back then noone even knew about adhd in girls, so naturally me being a fucking nutcase, I was so happy and bubbly and creative and amazing - I was not normal. I was a perfect child that they threw out of classrooms almost every day because I couldn't sit in that chair the way they wanted. Or that I never shut up, I always fiddled with something and I was always drawing, constantly. When you said "yeah great potential if you just apply yourself" that really hit hard. The amount of times I've heard that, or my mom has heard that.. She left crying from the parent teacher meetings because they were obscenely rude and said so many hurtful things. Nobody understood, and I was 7 years old. 7!!! Being yelled at every single day by grown ass people telling me I will never become anything unless I learn to act in a certain way, or learn to behave, learn how to learn. They literally threw me out of the actual room, violently, and I had to sit outside in shame, until someone allowed me back in again. When I was 16 I got my diagnosis and some amphetamine pills, they made me really smart. And so deeply unhappy. I had to stop after a couple of years because I lost so much weight my spine was sticking out from my back. Since then I've struggled with depression, anxiety, stress and beating myself up so so much and now I'm so tightly controlled by myself in every conversation I have, whenever I have to be around people, whenever I do something - am I doing this right, what am I talking about, remember to keep on topic, is what I'm saying relevant, remember to listen what the other person is saying, pay attention, be observant, can you live without saying this particular thing, are you PAYING ATTENTION. I think it's spilled over to the art that I'm desperately trying to find happiness in, the ONE thing in my life that I love and will never ever get tired of.. I'm micromanaging everything in my life to the point I'm burning myself out and I can't even do a simple picture anymore. I used to find solace in art, even if it's just a couple of pen strokes. Now I'm too stressed out because what if I'm not doing this right, someone will see this and think it's shit what the fuck am I doing. Why am I doing this. What's the fucking point. Sorry, please ignore this rant just had to echo your frustration. I love you Adam, your little art talks create that little pause in everything that's so desperately needed, and you always make me want to paint, which is the meaning of my life. I'm stuck and you're helping by just existing. Thank you.
As someone who has ADHD and didnt get diagnosed before late in life where I struggled through so many years. Words like ''potential'', ''restless'', ''lazy'' was common words for me. I burnt out numerous times until I realised this has to stop before I vanish from exhaustion. This video was really helpful, and inspiring thank you Adam ♥
I was very bright but did just well enough in school to progress. My mother advocated for me, "no, he's not just acting out, he is bored. He chooses educational TV, he reads educational books at home, his conversation is insightful and curious, so why does that disappear in your classroom?" I wound up doing two years in a special class for troublesome but bright students from allover the county. We covered more than I did for the next 4 years in district. 2 years small class with a good teacher = 4 years of not encountering new information in regular school. I wound up getting in trouble on purpose and cutting class because I knew I could do more than a month's worth of work in about 4 hours. No one told me I could opt for night classes where this is just how they did things. Instead I got treated like a wastoid. I asked for more art classes and was not given them, eventually I was allowed to spend my lunch period in art, I'd skip study hall and be in the art room. Everytime I encounter a faceless system of rules and paperwork I'm lost in the sauce although my time with coworkers and peers proves to me I am at least as adaptable and capable of doing "the thing". My gfs have always been career minded and/or national honor society members and they ask me why I'm not doing more with my intellect and artistic talents... And I can't answer. At the moment I don't have a career. I don't feel right in most work environments. I wasn't able to make it through the added hurdles of life and college beurocracy AND the work. One of the three takes me out everytime. Maybe I'll try your school. It's online artists willing to share their skills that have helped me grow...
I'm not one to cry watching youtube videos but man you hit a spot there. I've been burnt out for years now because I couldn't understand why I wasn't doing great at university and work. I was fortunate to enroll in electronic engineering which was my dream since I was a kid but man was that a torture. It was so much bullshit that by the last two semesters I almost didn't step inside the campus. I was in a hospital bed sick to the bone with every kind of disease. My immune system just couldn't handle all the stress and depression I was going through and I couldn't get why my body wasn't answering me to fulfill my duties. Present time, almost 30yo, I was trying to understand what was happening and the doctor I go to suggested me to take a months-long assisted test with a psychiatrist. I got diagnosed with autism. I remember she telling me "The moment you stepped in I knew you had something. Out of all the tests, you hit something like 97% of chance of being autistic". So many things made sense from that point onwards. I remembered sitting on a large class in university with 120+ students and literally losing it every single day. "I'm being a wuss. Just handle it and try to act normal, dude" I would say to myself. Even on small classes with 30 students I couldn't handle it. And slowly I unconsciously distanced myself, got quieter and quieter, lost the little connections I had and tried harder and harder to "blend in". It's a brutal thing honestly. I don't know if get mad for no one telling me I was different because in university the relationship between students and teachers is a much less personal one for some reason. From what I've read it seems people forget that it isn't because you must maintain professionalism that your relationship towards the other has to be so impersonal and detached. However, had literally anyone home or in middle/high school noticed it and assisted me to deal with it things would've been so much easier. Thank you for letting out something about this brutalist educational system that I had in mind but I couldn't put into words. And thank you for starting this discussion.
Hi Adam ! I had never commented here, meanwhile I watch all your videos as something special everytime. I was so happy to see this particular video popping up in my feed, because I left art school for some of these reasons this year and I'm trying to define wich path I want after school kinda ruined some part of why I love creating. You described everything here, I too felt so bad at school since little, having a routine for something I was not particularly interested in, waiting for the next holidays, having to do work outside of school was torture. When I went to art school I was like "I'll just do what I like now !", but overtime past feelings about school, competitivity, etc went mixing with what I was truly passionate about and kinda destroyed everything about my art to fit what's expected. I had more and more difficulties getting up to go to school each morning, I was always feeling guilty when doing other things than school work. My only motivation was when we had great instructors and to have time with my friends. Also I don't know if I have ADHD or anything but while I was in class, I had so much trouble focusing on what people said when there was too much distractions and agitation, I was exhausted so easily, and in general I try to avoid these situations these days. Now that I left school I'm trying to research back what I like to do, why I do it, and if I really want to do this for a living... I'm 20yo, and where I was determined about going to this specific school as the perfect choice, I had to accept that it was not for me overtime. Where I see everyone around me having a plan, I'm just lost now and unsure about what to do next, I'm hating more and more my experience with social medias, and if it was never too much, now we have the AI thing 🕺 Well, thank you so much for all this Adam, I'm looking forward to your next videos and the comments below this one ! Courage pour la suite ! (I heard you speak French and I am ehe)
Adam this video made me tear up I don't know if I have ADHD sometimes I think I might. But I was diagnosed with dyslexia in Jr. High. School was torture for me, not just from the teachers but the kids as well. laughing as I struggled to read left scars that will never fully heal. They put me in "special classes" that basically treated me like I was stupid. I had to teach myself to read out of sheer will. Art became my escape from all this. Thank you for what you said we might not be the same but I resonated with your words.
Oh boy, I’ve been hearing so many stories like these the past year, thank you for sharing yours❤❤ A year ago I found out I’m autistic and probably have ADHD and have been realizing that I wasn't lazy or broken. “2-3 months in…couldn't keep up” …that's my reality all through university, and usually burned out in about March, but I was “so damn clever” according to everyone that I carried on regardless, to my own detriment. Both my teens have ADHD and I constantly tell them that they carry a “bigger backpack” to school than the neurotypical students because of the faults in the system. I constantly tell them to focus on finding and catering to their own strengths and interests! (btw. Sir Robinson’s Element and Finding your Element were my bibles)
My experience in school is not as bad as yours, Adam. I went to a school that specializes in teaching children with learning disabilities, and it is a great school. I am good at English and science, and quite good at Maths and know a bit of French, and more of Spanish. The only school subject I am excellent at that became my favourite is Art because I enjoy making drawings, paintings and clay models. It is the only subject where I got an A in my GCSE, allowing me to enrol in Art, Design and Media at East Surrey College. Studying at college is good, but at the same time, challenging because of my autism, which I am diagnosed with. Nearing the end of my second year of study in Art, Design and Media, I was told by my future tutors of level 3 of Art, Design and Media that I would not be able to do well in a two-year study of the same course because they see my autism as a weakness which would make my studying very difficult and after I finish level 2 of Art, Design and Media they dropped me out from moving to level 3 while allowing my other classmates to move on. I was devastated that I did not make it to level 3 of Art, Design and Media that I had to apply for ICT level 2 in the hope of getting to level 3. I worked hard and got great grades in ICT, but despite my hard work and effort, the tutors of Art, Design and Media Level 3 still won't let me go to the same course I wanted to apply for. I was at my lowest, darkest point that I decided to give up on studying Art and Design until I heard my mum, who picked up the phone, ranged the phone number of East Surrey College and ferociously demanded the tutors to allow me to go to Level 3 of Art, Design and Media! They did and went to the course; I worked harder like never before and got better grades. I officially finished my studies at East Surrey College! I did well in Art, Media and Design Level 3 at East Surrey College and also did well in my three-year study at Southampton Solent University because I am very interested in Animation. After I finished my learning at School, College and University. This year in the last month year 2022, I realized my education doesn't end when I graduate; it continues for a lifetime, and I will continue learning to be an artist, an animator, an zoologist, a biologist, a man and more importantly a follower of Jesus, my lord saviour and my god. My story shows that there are some schools, colleges and universities that can specialize in children, young people and even adults with learning disabilities, dyslexia and even ADHD. The problem with most educational institutions is the need for more understanding of people's unique quirks. It needs to change if schools, colleges and universities are going to live well in the long run.
I love this. All of it. I love the way you went about starting this conversation. I have partial hearing loss in my left ear (I was born with it) and becasue of this I delevoped an Auditory Processing Disorder. Of which, I was not diagnosed with till I was 18 years old and at the same time recieved a hearing aid. Going through school was DIFFICULT becasue the way I've had to process informtaion is much much slower than everyone else so having 5 classes in one day, during middle and highschool, was exhausting. Like most people you need to be able to processes what someone is trying to teach you and for me that length of time to process is extented 10 fold and has and will frustrate teachers and people in my life when I don't catch on as fast. Going into college I at least had some understanding of how my brain worked and having the spaced out classes helped so much because I had a day or more in-between classes to learn the information. I've always felt behind when it comes to the educational system but was shoved through it into getting a degree by my mom, who is a college professor. Half the crap I learned along the way to my degree is lost to time and I only remember what I enjoyed the most and the teachers that actually took the time. ~Thank you~
It’s nice to hear someone to have settled and strong opinion on this problem, quite often people just ignore that. They just say that “there is nothing we can do about it, so accept it and move on”. And most of us did. And it’s also sad, to see all of these people to give up on themselves only because they don’t fit in. I honestly wish something could change.
Thank you SO much for this video. The school system literally broke me. I am and was a good student most of the time, but that is just the outside and superficial numbers on a sheet of paper. The system burned me out, gave me anxiety, panic attacks and major struggles to communicate or recognize my emotions. I always doubt myself. I was bullied and also heard the phrase: "You have so much potential, if only you would apply yourself." a lot. Even from a teacher where I was performing well in class, but well wasn't perfect, so the teacher tried to push me even more than I pushed myself already. I always try to connect to people on a deeper level, but it is only now that I am in my apprenticeship that I found real friends. I will see, if the friendships hold, when the apprenticeship ends. I suspect that I might also have autism or ADHD, maybe even both. I'm kind of like a human tornado, but with enough structure to keep functioning somehow in society. I love art and writing and all science related things and sports and music and history. I'm always learning a lot of different things. I need art to cope with the world around me, but I somehow keep feeling like a failure, because people expect so much from me, but never clearly communicate what they want. I was always an outsider in group situations, talking to the teachers and giving correct answers, but struggeling to connect or communicate with people my age. I have lost my father and grandfather already and my mother had a stroke this year and my boyfriend lost his father in september, so I'm more confused than ever emotionally, but I'm starting to take actions to get better. I'm trying to fight for myself and I will start to jump into the cold water and share my art with the world. My 24th bithday is in three days. I feel like I have already experienced a lot of negativity, so it only can get better, right? Sorry for the ramble. Thank you so much for your videos, they help me calm down and I feel like eventhough I have lost my dad, I am still able to get some advice and a different perspective on life, which is incredibly helpful. I'm going to cry now and eventhough we don't know each other personally, I appreciate you very much as a person. Sending you lots of love from Germany.
💐 Thank you for making this video, I wish administrators from schools would watch this For me it felt like the school system drop kicked me into the deep end of a pool, then realized that drowning an already withering plant won't bring it back to where it was before they got it. I used to get fever induced seizures in elementary, like on a weekly basis sometimes more than once a week. I spent most of my time in hospitals instead of school. When I would get back there was no support for me. I would be behind on every subject and because there were so many kids to teach and I was out so often, spending time to catch me up was regarded as a waste of time so I would sit in class confused and feeling stupid. It got worse when the other kids noticed what would happen to me, they weren't kind. I used to apologize to my mom for bad grades and beg not to go to school, because I knew the only thing waiting for me there was isolation and mockery. When I failed second grade the school staff recommended that my mom take me to a child phychologist. The doctor diagnosed me with a learning disability, I was taken that school and put into another one that had "a program for special kids," since my last school "wasn't a good fit." They never told me the disability I suppossedly had, I feel like the school just wanted an excuse to get rid of me and both the paperwork and 911 calls that came with me being a student. At first I was afraid of the new school, then I met the best teachers I ever had. The work was hard for all of us to catch up, but our teachers never lost faith that we could do it, I went from a someone who couldn't read and never believed she would, much less enjoy it either, to someone who now read an average of 100,000 words a day. It took a week of; defining 20 words (Monday), Writing each word 5 times each (Tuesday), Writing a sentenace with each of those words (Wednesday), Writing a short story using each of those words (Thursday, this one was the hardest), Our teacher would read us a classic novel that had all our vocabulary words in it and have us follow along while calling on us to pronouce the words when we see them (Friday my favorite, our cheat day.) We read things like Frankinstein & Jungle Book. The program I was put into was called EBD and our teachers were for once training to teacher and care of all kids not just the ones that fit into a typical mold. Our classes were smaller and we had a specific wing of the school for us. There were sliding doors to shut the noise from outside for the kids that got overwhelmed easily. We had weekly free individual therapy sessions with a counsilor in school at nearly all times. She would check in with us to write goals together for what we wanted to improve on. There was also these individual & class point systems, they helped instead of punished. When you did something that was kind, like helping a classmage with their homework, you could get a star or point, you could also get them from excelling academically, they were always random. They were almost never taken away unless in extreme cases were you got written up for hurting another student. At the end of the the month they would tally up our points if we as a class reached a certain number we could get something like a pizza party (these rewards usually came out of pocket from our teachers and their assistants). We also had inidvidual points we could use to trade in for prizes at the school shop (it was a donation collection of older toys, only kids from the program could buy stuff from it.) Also after class we had designated computer time where we could play games and unwind then it's lunch and back to class. We got extended time on tests and occasionally got to use calculators too. We never left the program lile there wasn't a "graduation" or changing of class you were stuck with the same people as classmates/teamates for the next decade of your life. P.E, Music & Art classes were the only ones where any of us were with kids from outside the program but still the same school. It was obvious who we were and because of our differences and small number we were picked on, a lot. So we all eitger scattered and got harrassed to tears or united and internally cursed them out while sitting together like a flock of angry ducks. If you advanced adcademically to a certain point and didn't need as much attention from the teacher as before, you would be offered to do a trail run upstairs with the "other kids"(I could see them try not to use the word normal to describe them and it made me angry, but they were the only adults in the school remotely in our corner so I didn't say anything about that.) They offered three of us the chance, two said no because it was easier for them to stay where we were, I was the only one to say yes. My teachers called me brave. (Cause they knew what I'd probably deal with up there.) The whole thing felt like a corporate spy drama. I started taking classes up stairs, I'd go in the morning, my classmates and teachers saluting me as I leave. The first day was nerve recking, I felt like a foreign embassador for my program going into previously(& recently) hostile territory to strike an allience and like prove we aren't memtally deranged. It went surprisingly well I met my new teacher before anyone showed up and she got to know me a bit. I would sit in the back with my own big ass table, they appearently didn't have another desk for me to use like all the other kids. I felt like I gained an achievement I didn't want. Like someone taped a sign saying "special treatement for me not you" to my forehead. My teacher introduced me as a new student, immediate whispers, class started, after the lesson she gave work, I do it surprisingly finishing earlier than my new classmates, she'd answers some kids questions, come check in on how I was doing, then review. I didn't need many corrections if at all. She explained things really well and was a bit surprised when I told her that. No one tried to talk to me, sometimes I'd hear a classmate say something about needing an eraser and immdeiately look for an extra to hook them up, but someone closer to them was always faster than me. I was frustrated initially then sad that I couldn't find an opening to try to make friends. I don't blame them for finding it easier to talk with their friends instead of a stranger. I resigned myself to doing my work quietly and reading during that class. It got too lonely sometimes for me to concentrate on reading, but I felt better once I went back down stairs. And that was that. These programs had a higher rate of boys enrolled than girls so I found myself being the only girl in a class often, which had it's own challenges, lack of empathy from the guys for biological issues being one. In middle school some even gave me shit because they couldn't tell if I "was a guy or girl" all because the pants my mom could afford didn't fit my body (puberty didn't help either) right and would bulge around my crotch when I'd sit down. We could choose to not use the benefits if we didn't declare ourselves as students with disabilities to colleges, but once you did you were fucked. You'd have to jump through more hoops than other people to get to the person that could help you. I wish more schools would see things from the point of view of their students by actually talking to us, not sending these mandatory servays that no one answers truthfully because they're afriad it could affect their grade if professors were allowed to read them. 💐 Thank you for reading, may you have a wonderful day.
I feel this. i even got a professional to test me for being dyslexic and had this written down on an A4 paper 4 pages long on how I and a person would learn the best it got ignored (this was like gold served for the schools), and instead of helping me they over graded me for things i should not have gotten good grades in. the next school was no better. 'Time to be an adult and you have to learn to take responsibility for your studies' is what i got told from my main teacher, i'm a visual learner i learn by watching and listening in to yet with that said my school failed me. and for me where i live education is free unless you wanna relearn and occupation then its student loans. but what broke me the most was ones you get out of school even with papers in hand it lead to nowhere, i did not fit in or i seam to slow or not as strong as the rest of there runners, I had to Educate myself and I learn more on my own terms then with the pressure or school. I notice in my school life you got to fit in the mold yet the teacher are burnt out then you have teachers who clearly show favored students because they do more ground work to what the teacher wanted, try to fit the mold will burn you more then to allow self-growth but as young individual they are forced into the mold 'just because they need future workers' the teaching in school has not evolved its stagnated and the diagnosis is being thought around without the proper tools or effort in the system to take care of the 'individual learning and tools for the young to help cope with there learning curve' the School system teaches masses but not the individual person and this as an early start the system is failing us already, but i also know that the society lacks the funds to individually learning no matter Country we are more or less left to figure out as adults, and it leaves allot of bitter taste and confusion. that is why your work is so important and you also voice how allot of us feel Adam. I remember reaching out to you when I was a lost individual and then I got back to you to let you know I am doing alright, I might not comment on all your talks but I do watch all of them.
Adam, thank you so much for raising this topic up on the artistic channel. Another thing about people: when you start passionately talking to them about you having adhd, they start thinking that if you are talking so smart about the topic, then you are smart -> then you do not have any problems. I love you and your channel. Talk more about the topic!
I hope this doesn't sound weird. I've been following you since I graduated high school and started developing my art career. Now I have an illustration degree and I'm working as a Concept Artist. From all these years, your videos have always been spot-on with my struggles: "Laziness", procrastination, burnouts, motivation, topics that now makes a lot of sense... I found out I have ADHD a year ago. All your videos have been so helpful for my ND brain. My mind is now exploding thinking that you suspect you might have ADHD, it's like... So that's why I related all these years with him so much! lol My relationship with art has been so weird lately, I don't have the same passion. Yes, I finally have my dream job, I should be happy... But I think that school killed that a bit for me and left me with a huge burnout, for years now. Being undiagnosed for so long also made things worse. Art school just gave me a degree that nobody cares for, and my ADHD is worse than ever. I'm slowly getting back at it, making personal projects, and having a lot of compassion for myself.
Thank you for this video Adam. Agreed, grading doesn't mean much. Growth is where it's at. I'm in my 30s and it's my 4th time trying school. I am in my 2nd year at Concordia University. I feel extremely lucky in the program due to the teachers that I have. I know that they value growth, and are very understanding. I know they also have a lot on their shoulders are some of them are very tired... But they still try their darnest to help us. I could see it a lot clearer how the educational system is not mean't for us to grow. It's a ''oh, you're having trouble? It's on you. Clearly, you aren't trying hard enough'' system. Too bad so sad... Too bad so sad it's been eating away at me and I have felt like a failure since a kid!?! I have always had trouble in school, not because I'm incapable...because I didn't want to miss a single thing. As a kid I would forget to go to the bathroom or keep it in to not miss anything and it sort of ended up messing with my health. There were so many signs that something was off about me, but I didn't know. I was a kid, trying to comply and do my best. I would value grades and try too hard. I spent 6 years trying different anxiety medication, trying to alter my diet, trying to go run almost everyday at 5am.... Therapy has helped me, and yes regular/consistent exercise although it is not running at 5 am. lol I love learning, even if I could be slower sometimes. Even if I won't always recall things. Learning is life! Sharing knowledge is life!
Adam, thank you so SO much for speaking out. As a very recent (after years of research) self-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adult, I am only now starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together as to why my entire school experienced was a complete train wreck. Teachers made me eat the "Owen is sooo smart; they would get better grades if only they applied themselves better" for breakfast, lunch, snack time and diner. I managed, somehow, to get through the educational system here in France up until high school. (Btw, French DEFINITELY shouldn't be a mandatory class overseas omg, the nightmare lol) Everything went downhill after I went to university for an English literature degree (managed to secure a spot in a super prestigious university in Paris) and I dropped out after 3 months. Not only the format of the classes, but the teachers, the students, the rooms, the smells, the lights, everything was just too much. I know now it's because I'm autistic and I wasn't able to process all the sensory inputs coming at me all at once. I started working an office job after that, and then I tried to get back into uni for Japanese studies this time, but the same thing happened, I dropped out again. I've been blaming myself so much, for YEARS, for all these failures only to realise the problem wasn't me; I did apply myself, I did try, I tried so darn hard, but the school system wasn't catered to my needs. I'm currently working as a freelance illustrator, I'm in a very rough patch mentally recently so hopefully this wasn't too heavy and sadly, I don't have the answers to your questions either. I wish I did. I can only say that signing up for Marc Brunet's Art School made my skills skyrocket and I wouldn't have been able to even dream about becoming a full time artist without his classes. Thank you for doing all this wonderful work; us, young artists, are very blessed to have y'all to look up to.
As a recently diagnosed (at 30) ADHD 3D artist, all I could ever want from you is to keep giving a voice to those who were told to stay quiet. A chance is all we need, and it feels like not many people are willing. School was a nightmare. I remember staying up all night in grade 6 hating myself because I couldn't keep up with the homework and projects or the debilitating shame when I failed out of my first semester of college for animation after years of everyone telling me how talented I was and hating myself because i "just needed to focus more". 10 years later I'm still the same disorganized guy who sometimes (often) forgets to proof every line of my work, but i'm working at a small marketing and design company leading a team of 3 doing everything from 3D renders, print production, art design and manufacturing. They saw something in me that to this day i still don't, but I was able to take the skills i learned from 1 hour class a week for 3 months to completely change my life. Thank you Geoff Graham if you ever see this for believing in me and giving me the first step on a long road to happiness.
There is a comfort in knowing that something wasn't wrong with me or that I'm just lazy and not living up to what I could've been. Having had to just survive until I leaned that I was autistic near the beginning of the pandemic and realizing that the system just wasn't for me is a gift that means more than any platitude of "you can go places!" Or "just put your mind to it!" Just simple guidance and acknowledgement of "some things you can't do and that's okay, let's find another way." So thank you Adam, this meant so much.
That is a truth bomb Adam. I went through high school with undiagnosed narcolepsy. Failed my entire junior year of English class. Out of my four years of high school I only had one teacher pull me aside and genuinely ask me if I was okay. It was not my English teacher. I still look back on wonder how I managed to fail two semesters back to back. It was because the reasons you stated. The system is built for a singular outcome. My oldest daughter has autism. It took until she was 14 years old to get a proper diagnosis. It wasn’t for lack of effort on our part. If you want to learn something new, research how autism presents in females and how it can go undiagnosed. I have learned so much about neurotypical VS neurodivergent. I feel like I had been living in a simulation before my understanding that people can experience life so dramatically different. My own experience in high school was not pleasant. Being very shy and avoiding large social events left me with few friends. I spent a lot of time alone at home after school because my “friends” all began using drugs and I did not want to be around that. This was also the time when I really discovered that I could draw well. I had my dad’s huge headphones plugged into my 3 disk CD changer and would lose track of time listening to music with my paper and pencil. I discovered I lot about myself and my emotions during those times. Anyways, thanks for shedding light on this often overlooked subject. I love you too. 😉
I had this one math teacher in sec five that prioritized self learning and learning in groups. She even did math challenges with cool narratives where the whole class competed in teams. Best god damn teacher ever. She made me exited to come to math class. However, the ironic part is that some neurotypical people were struggling to get good grades in that kind of environment and were complaining about it. Me and my crew of adhd andies were getting better grades than ever.
I am becoming a science teacher and never had any trouble in school myself. We've talked a little bit about neurodivergency, the need for adaptation, etc, but hearing videos like these make a bigger inprint and inspires more! Problem still stands that classes will be reaching up to 30 students, and im not sure How I will be able to adapt everything to different students. Having different assignments to choose between would be nice, but time consuming to create, time i wont have. After a few years i might have the experience to pull it off.
It’s heartbreaking, truly. I was undiagnosed until I was 30, and I was good at school, got good grades, but the stress I was under was insane. Adhd. My son, he lasted about 4 months in school before I yanked him out. It was already starting to crush him. Likely autism, not confirmed yet. It’s not designed for us.
I always felt that the grading system was so counter productive. It teaches kids that their value and intelligence is confined to this number. It completely distracts from the real purpose of school which is to learn, rather than perform. That is a lesson that I’m still trying to unlearn today when I sit down to create a piece of art. I was conditioned to look at the practice of creating art as a performance rather than a chance to learn. Grades condition students to be afraid of failure and look only one step ahead at a time, at that next test, or that next assignment. We should be teaching children the value of learning! I decided for myself that I grades were meaningless to me, and sometimes would purposefully not turn in work that I had completed as an internal protest to the system. Something needs to change because things are not and have not been okay for almost everyone.
I graduated highschool with average grades - good enough to pass but not impressive either, while my friend group with their high scores celebrated as I watched from the seats. I felt envy back then, but above all a sense of resignation, telling myself "Well yeah, you only really crammed in the last few days, you made your bed so you lie in it". Honestly the fact I even passed felt like a blessing in itself. I've had teachers call me useless for handing in work late, having teachers cover for a report I couldn't finish in time by giving me a passing grade. I could never sit down to study at home, always hiding a sketchbook under my work so I could just doodle instead. It felt like shit feeling like I was only getting by on the mercy, pity and bare tolerance of others and not through my own merits, and I could do nothing to make myself just do things right. Knowing I had ADHD really turned a light switch on everything and put things into perspective. Knowing I was getting fucked over by my own brain and forced to work twice as hard as everyone else, scraping by while my own mind sabotaged me. It's bittersweet through and through - it's altogether enlightening and a relief knowing I'm not alone or a lost case, but frustrating and demoralising as hell knowing it's my greatest strength and weakness, and is something that has stolen so many years and accomplishments from me, and will continue to do so. I am of course hopeful and I accept it as a part of me, but I honestly would not wish ADHD upon anyone I cared about -- it is a unique curse unlike any other, invisible and alien to even your closest family and friends, and Faustian in its flightful duplicity.
I chose to homeschool my kids for many reasons (primarily safety-related concerns), but largely because my daughter has ADHD and my son is autistic with high support needs. They were not flourishing in the school system.
Thanks for bringing up the subject and sharing your views Adam. I'm a teacher and have taught kids from age 6 to age 18. I currently teach Math but have also taught Art. Being an artist taught me not to give up and to be playful with learning and that is how I got good grades in Math class, when I was younger. I would have to test it first, but I think that kids should have all subjects until grade 8. Starting grade 9, It should be a choice whether a kid wants to take math, science, etc. Instead of teaching things they will not appreciate like advanced Math and English, maybe teaching them practical Math, home Economics, how to write properly, how to read properly, etc. would be more fun and exciting. Also, I teach in a classes where there are very advanced students and also students who are so far behind. Then I'm expected to help everyone equally. Ideally, there should be at least two levels if not three of difficulty for each subject that students can take. For example, I have a Chinese student who is always acing my tests. He is just a kid in grade 6, so I talked to his Dad about it and he told me that in his Chinese school back in that country, they have 3 Math levels, low, medium, and high and that his son is only at the medium level there. I get the sensation that Chinese culture values education much more than American culture and the students are so respectful to teachers in comparison to American students. I think we need to put more value culturally in education for it to work better. A good education is a pleasure, not an obligation.
This is my favorite video of yours... forget that, this is my favorite video on UA-cam! And I've watched thousands because I've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since the age of 12, which meant I had to completely drop of out of high school the next year back in 2016. Whilst I am Neurodivergent, I would like to expand your point on teaching the individual. We, as human beings are literally collectives of Experiences and Ideas and Desires, and to say that the current mainstream education environment is the right way to help human beings become their best selves is not only a lie but an outrageous one. Hmm... I'm off to go do something radical... My mantra is wisdom, patience and compassion so whatever it will be, it's gonna be good.
8:05 Adam has so much potential, he just doesn’t apply himself. That hit me in the feels, this has been my entire life and now my kiddies going through school, next year they will all be in high school. All too often ADHD and Autistic people are burnt out from all the Disablism and ableism that permeates the neurotypical world. Just because… I’m now 33, and only just been diagnosed Autistic and ADHD after a huge medical scare in 2018 that has triggered an Autoimmune disease. I suspect the years of stress, anxiety and depression thinking I’m always wrong, because the world says I am. I usually research the heck out of a lot of things, then get shut down when I can see a way to make things better… for my children going though school. They are all artists going through the same crap I did. Your video hits all my nerves that mean so much to me and in tern my children. The class room shouldn’t be under the finger of politicians. Art is an apolitical environment.
Amazing video Adam, I also struggled to fit into the school system. Often been told that I had issues with daydreaming and I wouldn’t concentrate all the time. I am sure I suffer from ADHD/ Autism. I have all the things that go with it. Fast forward - presently I have been a Game Artist/ Art Lead for games over the last 25 years. I love to vigorously learn, and grow my artistic talent just not the way main stream school expects. I actually was very interested in art at school but I had to learn all these other subjects that didn’t help me they just left me feeling frustrated and to be honest it is heartbreaking when you feel like you do not fit in. My son has recently been told he has either ADHD or has autism, but he’s a perfectly normal boy that is at the age of three and he loves art and the kindergarten teachers told me he is the cleverest kid in the class. The thing I wrestle with is that he’s going to go to main stream school and I don’t think he is going to fit in. I also don’t think it’s the best thing for him and to be honest I don’t know if I want to send home to main stream school. I’ve realised his brain doesn’t function the way other peoples brains function he is gifted in his own creativity and in his own unique way. He is great at problem solving and he is reading at the age of three so he is phenomenal in learning, but maybe he doesn’t concentrate the way that he has to in Schools of main stream. So yes I agree with everything you said above Adam and thank you for this video it was very helpful. God Bless
wow..Thanks for the talk, Adam. I've been through many situations like the ones you shared. I grew up loving to learn about everything, teached myself to read and write in english just to play videogames when I was a kid , but of course those tyoe if things never got any attention from the teachers, they would just get mad or not care at all. "Lots of potential everywhere, just too lazy" between the lackluster teachers and the constant attacks of other students (plus dealing with depression) it was really hard to even want to be in the class and I ended up deciding to just quit and focus on other studies. Now after getting kinda like a stalemate with my depression I'm doing what I can to finally finish this thing through adult's highschool. In all honesty I feel a lot more comfortable with this type of "teaching"? it's a lot more free form, quite threatless and the pressure and stress is a lot lower. To be serious I feel like I'm quite behind in the things that a normal person should know, but I also feel like this different path will be very useful for me, hopefully it works out. Thanks for the video once again, and wish you lots of luck on your day.
Holy fucking shit man, right after the video started I had to pause it and cry. I was diagnosed with adhd maybe a year ago, and that single line about questioning yourself and deleting your work was too relatable. Alright, having vented, I'll continue the video.
I'm still waiting for an ADHD diagnosis, but in the meantime I'm 99% sure I have it. I resonated so much with your experience in school. I was a good student, I never was the top 1 student but I was doing quite well and my school reports always said something along the lines of "Good job but she needs to pay more attention during class, she always seems to be in her dream world.". I always put in 10x the effort than everyone else to get those good grades, and I felt like I was stupid or something if I had to put in that much more work to understand the subject. It was so hard to focus in class that I often didn't understand wtf we were learning about during class and it's only when I came home that I picked back up my books and had to relearn it at my own pace to finally understand. Not only did I have to do my homework and study for exams, but I also had to redo the entire lesson. Going to school during the day honestly felt like a waste of time because I learnt absolutely nothing, so instead I was drawing basically all of the time during class because I knew when I came home I wouldn't have time to draw anymore. I was SO burnt out in high school I got crippling anxiety for a while and it only went away once I took a break. All throughout my childhood I suffered constant stomachaches. when I was 12 it got so bad we had to see multiple doctors to understand what was going on to fix it, and all of them said that it was stress. Anyways, yes the school system is absolutely messed up for people with ADHD or with a neurodivergence. The thing is that just like you said, nowadays I LOVE learning. I have so many different interests and always so excited to learn something new. I binge art videos like this one all the time and I love it. Really shows how school can turn something as excited as learning into the most boring thing. I'm studying game dev in college right now and we only have project-based learning which is fantastic for me! And guess what, the stomachaches are gone. No wonder like half of my study has ADHD xD I'm a little anxious about my future career however, mostly because we're mostly expected to get a job at a AAA company after school. However, just like you said, I have a feeling I won't excell there and honestly, I really don't see the appeal in being a cog in a machine. I really want to be self-employed and be my own boss, that's what I've always dreamed of. It's hard though and there is a lot of uncertainty and risk. I'm preparing myself to get there one day though!
The most important thing for all of you to know, especially if you're a parent with kids in school, that the school system is DESIGNED to undermine a child's potential in life. If you don't believe me, look into the Prussian based school system and what it does. The Prussian based school system, which is now standard around the world in all developed countries, was designed to do two things. Prepare people for the industrial revolution (become a worker bee, and not an innovator), and make people compliant to authority. The Prussian based system removes the most critical part of an education that makes a person free, it removes the liberal arts... Critical thinking, Grammar, and Rhetoric. It makes people seek "authority figures" instead of figuring things out for themselves. It destroys children's natural desire to learn, and exhausts them with constant memorization of often useless facts. Information that they are then graded on, and taught that somehow this grade is related to their self worth... self worth that is the authority figure's right to give or take. Teachers are also victims of this system, who then become unwitting accomplices to it's subversive tactics. I've talked with several teachers on this, and they all say how the "system" prevents them from teaching how they want to teach as impassioned teachers, and instead demands that they conform to the (sub)standards of the curriculum set forth by the government/state. There are a lot of resources out there to help open the eyes of those willing to look so that they may reclaim their freedom. One of the best resources I've found is a podcast called "schoolsucksproject". I wish you all the best in your quest reclaim your mental freedom!
Oh my god, every single time I hear that "Has so much potential, if only they applied themselves" It hurts so much. Because that was said SO much, all the time by all of my teachers and mentors. And I didnt know I had adhd then. And so I just felt useless. It still hurts when I hear other people saying they relate to it. It sucks, it's one of the most painful things to hear. Because then you come to believe that you just arent good enough. You are not trying enough. And that Hurts. And as an afterthought, after finishing your video. I dropped out of highschool. I was so depressed (Likely due to my undiagnosed adhd) that I barely got through any of my classes, and I left highschool without any valid diploma. I went and worked instead. And about 7 years later I'm working on getting an education, because the jobs you can get without a diploma bore me half to death. But adhd sucks. I'm so glad that I know now that I have it, but it is really rough dealing with it. Especially because many people misunderstand it, or dont even believe it exists.
Just discovered you by accident. Wow, what a powerful conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts so well. I have two sons with ADHD, they are grown men now. It was so tough for them in schools back in the 80's. Their answers to ADHD were medication. Thank goodness I never subscribed to that. Good luck to you, keep fighting for what you believe in.
I have ASD, ADHD, Dyslexia among other mental health problems. Schools really scuked for me! Because I never understood when the teacher explained stuff in front of class. The teacher had to do it one on one with me to understand. If they did, I would run out of the chapter in 20min. They also complained that I was "in another world 5min in"..... All the signs where there, but no one cared because I was not running around in class. School made me feel stupid, when I knew all teh stuff they where teaching us, they didnt do it in my way. Also my english teacher complained that I used "wrong english", I should not write in the way I thinking it. She should see me now!
Oh man, everything you said was so on point but what really summed it up best for me was your quote "Tell me why or I won't comply." I was deemed as "having a problem with authority" for asking questions. I was genuinely curious, but being shut down for being interested, paying attention and trying to actually learn or raising my hand too often not giving other kids a chance. So naturally I stopped engaging. This also resulted in being labeled as either anti-social or too talkative. I couldn't figure out what they wanted from me. I can only pay attention when things hold my interest and the things they tried to implement seemed so arbitrary for me. I had straight A's until 6th grade but then ended up almost failing year after year from then on, because I wouldn't do homework. They kept telling me homework is to make sure you understand the information from class, but to me, clearly I did if I was getting 100% on my tests and schoolwork. I was bullied in school and had a pretty rough home life and chores to do, so I felt I had no time for myself and homework was pointless to me. The only thing that got me through was art. If I was drawing they thought I wasn't paying attention eventhough I feel like I retain information better when I doodle. And then if I finished work early in class I'd draw on my work or my desk and get in trouble for it. If I couldn't draw, I'd talk. I tried to bring books to read, andI wasn't allowed. I asked to start my homework in class but they wouldn't give it to me early. They just wanted me to sit there silently and do nothing if I finished my work early but take home work where I would have to do it in a hostile enviroment and after my chores and dinner and rush to finish before bed time. To this day, I still don't get it. All through 4th and 5th grade we had to do a book report per month and I ALWAYS did different Goosebump books, and eventually they said you have to do reports on something else. I was like "Why? I am reading. I am doing the reports. I'm actually doing my home assignments. I am doing well on them. Why do I have to read something I don't like on a subject I don't find interesting?" And nothing pisses me off more in life than the answer I've gotten so many times, from various sources, the inevitable.... "Because I said so." That just doesn't work for me. I need logic, explanation, a discussion. Give me a conversation. EXPLAIN how it will help me or my learning, something I can understand. I was pretty much written off as acting out or just trying to cause problems. My brain still works like this. I don't know if I'm on the spectrum, have ADHD or just a lot of PTSD from childhood trauma, but my brain just doesn't seem to work how I'm told it should. At almost 40 years old I've come to terms with that though. If they had taken the time to make a task not feel completely pointless to me, I probably would have tried harder to actually do it. But yeah, in my experience the whole fish trying to climb a tree seems applicable. I still struggle with intense procrastination vs. hyper focus or overthinking/obsessiveness. I do love to learn, but I also still have productivity problems and I need to find my own ways to make things interesting and doable for me. Any tips for dealing with terrible executive function problems would be helpful.
Hi Adam! I rarely write comments but this video almost made me cry. I felt some connection with you when you said that teachers said that you are a smart person but just not doing enough. Just too "lazy". They always told me that. So I just wanna share my experience with you. I'm a russian artist and I'm 20 yo. I graduated from school at 9th grade (we have 11 grades but you have an option to graduate earlier and go to college(it's not like university and usually for more practical proffesions like builders) and then got to college. I also went to art school (when I was going to a normal school) for 3 years too. 1. School It ruined me. From a normal kid to a very anxious person who's now scared of everything. I couldn't keep my grades high enough. While teachers were saying that I wasn't trying enough, I was yelled at by my parents. I was called stupid, dumb. I was called a failure. I was even called a bitch and other words like that. They took away my computer (I'm a digital artist so pc is my whole world). It made me scared of failure, of mistakes. It made me doubt myself. Now I feel like I'll never be good enough for anything. That my art don't even worth a dollar. All that for stupid grades that literally meant nothing. For school that gave me nothing. They don't teach you there. They just tell you to do things just like it says to do in the book. They teach you to pass a test, an exam. I was so scared that i won't pass final exams that i graduated at 9th grade. (Here teachers always tell you that you won't pass the exam) 2. College I can't afford going to actually university because my family isn't rich and I don't want to be in debt. It's not affordable at all. I thought of trying to go a university in another country but even if I somehow will pass all the exams and get visa... I just feel like I won't fit in. Every time I hear someone talk about university and how much stuff you need to do for it and at what speed... It makes me even more sad. They all so passionate and here I am.. always tired and anxious. I won't talk much about my college. It's a college for builders and they have a design course there. What can I even say about it if we (designers course!) don't even have computers. 3. Art school The best experience of education in my life. I learned a lot there but I feel like they didn't give us students enough room for creativity. And my teacher was sometimes fixing student's work to the point it's almost just became her work. I appreciated her advices but I wanted to fix it myself. This comment became my rant and I hope that it's ok. Life is so scary. I honestly don't know how will I live, how will I work with my bad social skills and anxiety. I'll try anyway. Thank you, Adam, for your amazing videos. They make me feel better. I feel like at least someone understands me and my struggles. Also.. I was scared to comment before but it's better later than never, right? Thank you so so so much for a video named "A Letter From A Russian Artist". It means a whole world to me. I feel just like a person who sent you that letter. Maybe my career is ruined even before it could start. But your videos make me wanna try anyway. Try to get out from this hell one day and be happy. Hopefully I'll be able to send you a letter too but from other country and thank you again. Thank you for everything. I love your videos. I love you.
Thank you for approach this matter calmly yet with passion and I do agree with you I too feel failed from my past school education and as a result dealt with severe depression and burn out and brain damage because of psychotic episodes without knowing my diagnose back then. It was horrible and I was absolutely giving it my all to everyone with my own health on the line. Now that I got a proper diagnosis I am finally where I wanted to be: at peace with myself. A bit damaged and some self-pity because of my harsh journey. And this world just isn’t made for people with autism. Neurotypicals will never understand how much we suffer under their upper-hand conditions.
I'm a weird case where I did really well with school, despite being slower than my peers due to a still most likely undiagnosed learning disability. I just lacked a life and solid friendships outside of school because most of my free time was spent on hobbies and homework. Because I was such a good student my teachers just let me stay late to finish exams, and no one, including myself, caught onto the fact that I was struggling as much as I was. I just thought this was normal, work and homework takes this long for everybody unless they aren't trying or something or they were a genius. My first clue that I had a problem was my SATs. Despite doing well in school and despite doing tutoring and test prep for them, not only did I score poorly, but got the same exact score both times I took the test despite my efforts to practice to improve. And the kicker--my results showed that I got like 97% of what I answered correct. I just was only able to ever finish half the test. Hence my matching scores--it wasn't my knowledge, it was my timing. But it wasn't overly clear until I was an adult trying to balance taking care of myself, others, and work that it became very clear to me that I was not normal. I struggle every day to not slip through the cracks of both my family and societal pressures. Constantly feeling like an outlier in the workforce--especially in the USA--where time and quantity seems to have much more value than quality--and I'm the exact opposite in that sense. I'm slow and meticulous, I'm detail oriented and a perfectionist and I focus on the quality of my work over speed of completion. I feel trapped in the fact that I thrive best working as my own boss with my own methods, or at least within a small team of people, but also struggling with the capability to manage all the factors of running my own business. I'm not anti-social and can work fine with others but struggle also to have a voice being a woman in a male dominated department wherever I go my opinions or input never seems to have weight--it's exhausting and exacerbating (totally different issue of course--I do drafting/technical drawing atm--but going back to school a third time for communication design now) But where I'm at now looking back I've realized the many ways the education system failed me despite me doing perfectly fine in it. #1-Lack of knowledge in diagnosing 'functional' mental disorders (ie. functional anxiety/functional adhd) #2-Putting too much weight into standardized testing which gives no real concept of knowledge base or work ethic (and are apparently easy to cheat on or forge by the wealthy) #3-Not teaching basic life knowledge at all--finances, cooking, taxes, child care, sewing, time management systems, etc. #4-Having a one size needs to fit all approach to education #5-Making teenagers sign up for a mortgage worth of loans to study for a profession they have no experience in and know nothing about until after they graduate #6-Requiring everyone to have a degree for the bare minimum of labor, but also not putting any value on the degree outside of that with proper pay compensation or benefits despite the degree that is 'baseline necessary' costing more than most salaries for 5 years of labor(+) before taxes and cost of living are deducted I could go on forever haha but these are the BIGGEST flaws that have greatly affected me in my life path that I would love to see attention given to and rectified for future generations.
I have adhd as well, my psychologist who was doing my assessment last year described ADHD so well, she said that our minds are essentially complex jenga towers full of thoughts, intentions, memories etc, and adhd is very much the player pulling the blocks out of the overall tower. Sometimes the tower stays upright, but is structurally weakened, other times it crumbles. She related coping mechanisms to one strengthening specific blocks in the tower to keep the thing upright and together. It was very apt as it truly does feel like that. She made a point to really emphasize that people with ADHD aren't stupid or unintelligent, quite the opposite, just that we have a player 2 undermining our actions and intentions, which can make it look that way to the uninformed. You nailed this video, so many times I was nodding my head. It's why I always recommend people go into university as a last resort or not at all, hell go to a pod school instead, because they really do leave you stranded after promising quite a bit. I felt so burnt by my degree, by the time I was done my bachelors my industry of study had completely shifted and huge chunks of my prep was useless after graduating simply because I took on extra work so I didn't fail, knowing that I wouldnt get the best grades. Universities really do feel like merciless degree printing machines.
I love how your therapist put it, but o can’t help but to feel that it leans a bit heavy towards the negative, like you’re fighting a losing battle No doubt it’s challenging, but I feel that a lot of the hard work needs to come from societal reform - not yours alone Recognizing and taking advantage of the unique contributions of the ADHD brain benefits us all That said, there’s the painful and alienating side of it that we need to make a very strong effort to realize is a reality - they don’t call it the “invisible condition” for nothing It’s so easy for someone neurotypical to overlook that many of your behaviours and challenges are completely out of your power to control
I can agree with everything that Mr. Adam said. I'm a particularly gifted child within the arts, most notably writing (I published a book at the age of twelve) and art (I now produce hyperrealistic paintings), but I never felt like my gifts were translated as the "intellect" I'd need for the educational system. The only skill I learned from this schooling is that you do as you are told and that you must absorb pointless information. I detested it, for it wasted so much of my time, and now having graduated from high school, I can finally solely focus on my arts business. Thank God that He educated me through speakers such as Mr. Adam, for I would be miserable trying to spread myself thin on a timetable that always demands perfection of me 😔... I just can't do it. My body at this point would give out on me, as it is quite sensitive to stress. Thus, I can never fully brute-force my way through life, or all manner of difficulties follow 😂! The slow path is the one God meant for me, obviously! Thank you, Mr. Adam, for speaking more on this subject 😊!
I came across one of your vids for the 1st time a few days ago, and quickly knew you had to be ND, disabled, or have a loved one who is. We move through life so differently than other people, yet for many of us, we don't come to understand our differences until well into adulthood. I didn't realize I'm autistic with ADHD until my 30s. I wish for all of us that things could have been different. That our sensitive, curious selves would have been cherished, and given room to explore, grow, thrive. Instead, as your video portrays, school crushes us, and gives us no indication that there are any other solutions. I started telling myself by age 12 I would drop out once I got to the age where it's legal to do so where I live. School nearly killed me. The sensory overload, how fast paced everything was (not even time to use the bathroom between class,) how degrading the teachers and admin treated me, having 35 kids to a class with no way to catch up if you fell behind, dealing w severe mental illness & social difficulties... I managed to forge my own way through it, but just barely, and with obstacles at every turn. Even in my final semester, I found out I was missing a phys ed credit and would not be allowed to graduate without it. So, I had to learn to run a mile, and then my entire high school diploma was no longer at risk (truly ridiculous.) It honestly felt like the school did not want me to succeed. The entire experience felt like one giant forced sentencing of being babysat, but then made to pass random, irrelevant pop quizzes along the way. Such a complete waste of time. I wish society valued the human experience and creativity. If it did, school would be completely different.
I was diagnosed with ADHD was I was in middle school. I always struggled with paying attention. When I graduated, I went to art college because art was the only thing that drove me. Well, ironically art college destroyed my passion for the subject and I wandered through life aimlessly for over a decade. I ended up doing the "socially acceptable" thing and went back to college for a microbiology degree. I found your channel in 2020 and the fire inside was relit. I dropped out, found an apprenticeship, and opened up my own tattoo studio within a few years. It's hard but it's the only thing I have ever envisioned doing with my life. I get to be my own boss, make my own hours, take on projects that I know I will hyperfocus on and love doing and I get to connect with clients who end up using sessions as low key therapy. A normal job, normal school was never meant for me. I LOVE teaching other artists and helping others succeed and one day want to open up a bigger studio where I can comfortably take on my own apprentice and teach the next generation. One of these days I want to learn from you Adam for the experience of being taught art in a way that makes sense to me. I obsess with learning and will never stop.
I’ve always felt like a failure, even if my effort were to double, it’s still not enough, i always felt i’m playing catchup with the other kids because of how much i’m falling behind. School and family who deceived you to think it’s all your fault and that “You JUST need to work hard”, just made it even worse. I’ve been suffering with burn outs and social anxiety because of it.
I have just finished highschool and started university. For me the biggest problem with highschool was that I had to spend 8 hours 5 times a week doing things I didn't want to do , study things I didn't care about or the teacher didn't do a good job , most of them were not qualified as you said, and it bored me really bad and after the 8 hours I was tired and often had no mental stamina to learn and study art or programming , things that I do care about and enjoy. I would have loved to have at least 4 of those hours everyday dedicated to my own projects, I didn't need any teachers to help me, just a space outside of home where I could come everyday and develop myself and my skills. Instead I got 8 hours of wasting my time. And yes, 90% of what they thought me was just useless information on the basis that "They teach me how to learn" , I hate that sentence with every fiber of my being. I went to school for 12 years (primary , elementary and highschool) and at no point I got to learn.
I had an issue with curriculum that didn’t have an applied utility. As a child I got frustrated having to learn things that didn’t suit my goals. For instance, math would have been far more interesting to me if it was applied with technology in mind. I too suffer from ADD and dyslexia and if not for me having grit and a serious chip on my shoulder I don’t think I would have ever broke into the creative industry.
Thank you Adam, your words always are a bliss for my soul~ As someone who was undiagnosed with ADHD for their entire life, i feel this in every possible way. I struggled extremely in school and never could memorize the information that was spilled into the room. This path wasn't made for neurodivergent people like us. Personally, it broke me in several ways that still affect me and my productivity today. The "You HAVE to" and "You MUST"'s absolutely are deeply engraved in our society. But i feel like we're slowly moving into a direction where it's acknowledged more and more, thankfully.
My experience with school was pretty much what you and other commenters are describing, but i want to talk about something different. Adam, i listen to your videos for a long time and it always gets me a little bit emotional, even if i tend not to be a very emotional guy. Often times i actively avoid listening to them, because i know that if i do i am going to cry hard, even if i normally never do. A year ago, i promised to myself that i would save money to be in your class. My art isnt even on a style near to yours, i just think that you can teach me so much more than just technique. Untill now i've changed a lot from this promise alone. On some levels, it was life changing. Got out of a swamp of debt thats almost zeroed out, and i'm saving money to be able to move out finally. It will still take a while, but the day is coming, i can see it in the horizon. I will enjoy listening to your classes when the day comes, but i'm already very thankful, because your videos really were there for me when no one, and i really mean no one, was.
I'm 24 years old and I hope my past will resonate with some people. My problem at the moment is that I'm not sure if I have ADHD or not, however expecially thanks to videos like this one I kinda suspect that. My time at school was terrible. Giving math as an example I'd not gain literally any knowledge out of the classes. So I survided 70 % of my highschool just counting on a luck to not get F at my next exam. I was among the worst students at my class and noone was beliving in my abilities, not even myself. Calling my just lazy kid with lots of potential. 3 months before my finals I decided to take things in my own hands and bought a math course online so I could learn own my own in my own Tempo. Within these 3 months I managed to catch up with the knowledge to the point that I passed my finals and got really good with vectors and trygonometry. and more important to me, prove to myself that I'm not worse than the others which build up my confidence and allowed me to pursue further even more. Now I'm on my way to become a 3D artist, also learning everything on my own and being much more confident with my own abilities.
Straight on the mark. I'm 18 in senior year right now and I've felt the way you described since about 8th or 9th grade. It was very apparent that I was ADHD in 2nd grade, so I took gifted classes, and that was... well, it was one of the decisions of all time (feeling some of the effects of that right now). My teachers were mostly good, besides a few bad eggs in elementary school. I, instead, grew up with many incredibly money-gluttonous schools which (I use this as an example a lot) forced us to buy a $20 T-shirt to get promoted to high school. Almost everything they did gave me that question, why? It would never be answered, and, like you said, I lost faith in not only the school and its system, but it's around the time I lost faith in religion and myself, too. The pandemic came around 9th grade, essentially just extending our spring break to infinity, and virtual got so bad I just stopped doing any of the work at all and treated it as though it was a break. I transferred back, had some mental problems I won't get into because it's not relevant, and essentially continued as normal. Last christmas, I got my first drawing tablet, and realized that drawing was one of the only things I can do for hours and have the time start to blend together, so I committed myself to learning to draw. I've always hated the idea of college and university, it all seemed like such a waste of time, effort, money especially. But my family saw it as a necessity and pushed me (and continues to push me) to go into college. Then, I started having similar gripes about high school as well, though there was the added bonus of hating every possible policy they could enact. It just felt like they didn't trust us at all, they just took more and more and more until there was no fun left at all. It was just "Positive Learning," whatever the hell that means. I've applied to like 12 starter jobs and they've all either ghosted the hell out of me, or straight up no. I had one even that the manager said he was going to hire me no matter what, had the interview, had the handshake, and he... Idk un-hired me? (no contract, he just kinda cancelled). This was all building on my already borked mental state and school was just not helping. I'm in some classes I really like, and the robotics club, too, but honestly it's stopped hitting it for me. I want to drop out, but everyone in my family thinks a diploma is necessary. "You're in your last year, just tough it out." I'm at the age where I don't need to ask permission anymore, but I'm still reluctant to. I want more time to practice art and get my head straight, but I know myself and how I will just find a way to use it for playing video games. I'm failing 2 classes at current, because the credits isn't based on end-of-year, it's end of semester. TL;DR I'm doomed to fail high school, no job wants me , and I can't focus on anything because the school told me I was doing everything right. Thanks for reading my inane ramblings about my life story
Hi this is probably super late, but I went through the same situation as you, only as a year older. For me when the pandemic came around I was super depressed and lost motivation to do pretty much everything. After that, my senior year of high school, I took drawing classes and got back into it very slowly. But I still didn't want to go to college. I'm going to community college right now (no that does not mean you're dumb) and it is the best decision I made in my entire life. I've met a lot of great people and made new friends, and finally got to a place I feel like I fit in. The year is almost over, and for the first time ever I'm actually kind of sad that school is ending. It feels like a genuinely special place. I think your family is right to push you to go to college - it's proven that college graduates have higher rates of being hired for jobs and make more money than just high school graduates. I too was on the fence about going to college. It is absolutely worth it to try. I've had fantastic teachers and peers so far in cc, and hope you do too if you go down the 'old college try' path. Whatever you do next, enjoy the end of high school and have a great summer, but most of all have a great life. Dreams exist because we want them to come true in the real world.
My own mother kept telling me the reason I wasn't preforming well in school because I'm lazy, that I'm choosing to not study for hours on end, that I'm choosing to not pay attention, and the teachers only affirmed her views, and of course, I wouldn't question it because adults always know better right? It took me until I was over twenty to realize I have autism and ADHD, I could have done so much better if I was correctly diagnosed and medicated, it fucking hurts so much. And let's not get into all the bullying and ostracization because of my autism, feeling like a freak and knowing why. This institution needs to do better.
Your words have touched my heart. My old highschool offered college classes which I thought were cool, just until they removed anything creative. Multimedia with animation and game design, removed. So, I tried switching schools because I already moved and my old one was far. But this wasn’t much better. Both were technical schools and quickly realized they only really cared about the students who traded their souls for their academic and AP classes. There wasn’t much space for me so they put me in web development, which isn’t that bad but also feels like a waste of time. Half the students slack off since the work is too easy, I don’t feel engaged. And every quarter we switched programs but it just feels redundant to always remake the same website again and again. I still have academic classes which can vary, I’ll give credit to my science teacher, he’s the most real I’ve ever seen a teacher. My English teacher isn’t bad, but my god have the books we’ve read been depressing. Some good, some meh, but all tragedies. Sometimes it can really affect my mood, especially if I’m doing doing so great. But at this point, it just feels like I’m doing the same thing everyday. I’ve been so inspired with Game music composition and I wanna get back into visual drawing and telling my stories. But the school days just drain almost all that excitement and passion out of me. Just want to graduate, I hope my parents see that I don’t need some traditional schools after highschool, at least not right away. I’d like to take this course in 2024 but they think I’d be lazy if I wait is that it feels like. I’d work and try to take some courses and such in the meantime however. Didn’t mean to rant that much, but thank you Adam. You’re videos always feel like you’re a person and not someone jus trying to get me to like and subscribe. Never change ❤.
As someone with ADD/ADHD, who struggled through school and college up through 2013, I can definitely relate. I've had many teachers over the years, but the ones with the biggest impact were the ones who had a love & passion for teaching. One of which has remained a friend & mentor figure in my life for a very long time. The best teachers are hard to forget and are treasures to their students. Thank you so much for sharing Adam, your videos are a huge encouragement!
Thank you for this. Undiagnosed autism, going through school in the 70s and finishing with a BA in Fine Art. I also have aphantasia, which added to the difficulty. I feel like I was pretty much crushed into compliance just trying to get through. I felt thoroughly lost and isolated, but too scared to stop, and the attempts I made to try and get help did not pan out. I did make a decent living for a time as a production artist--using my hyper-focus to good effect in advertising and publications, but with the autism I'd find myself frequently in the first round of layoffs. I am approaching the end of my work life (mid 60s), and am having the worst time un-crushing my spark, trying to get back to the joy I once felt in creating. I am hugely creative and am capable of experiencing great joy....just not in the work of my hands, which is trapped behind all the unprocessed, crushing criticism and self-doubt. Videos like this are very validating and help as I crawl out of the wreckage. I love that you speak so strongly on this subject. Thank you.
I also have adhd and when you said that you are addicted to learning event though you where not the best student at school that hitted me because I love learning, despite loving art, I really enjoy learning about everything, for my whole life school took my hunger for knowledge.
This message touches me deeply, on a personnal level. Back in school I never did well when I reached high school in Belgium, I couldn't focus for more than 20 minutes in class on many subjects unless one particular subject caught my attention for an unknown reason because I found it fascinating, and that's the key point that touched me in your message, I realized later since now I am an adult that I love devouring knowledge, sure maybe not every single day but sooo often, especially when it comes to astrophysics, about art and history, archeology, biology etc. even pop culture in different periods, anyway... When I was a kid, I used to draw a LOT, but through the circumstances of my life and my mother ( bless her ) tried her best to take care of two children as we were abandoned by my drunk father, she wasn't the brightest woman in the world but she had passion, she wanted the best for us sincerely, but she often, and that's why I say she was sincere because she didn't mean it, she often did more harm than good, when I finished my elementary years with a total average of 84%, she forced me to sell my entire video game collection because I didn't make it to 90%. I had to mold myself to be to the top of the class because I was told EXACTLY "I know Valentin is so intelligent and capable, if only he could put his potential to work" on a general level. And this may sound trivial but it shattered me, up until that point it wouldn't be until my 26th year ( i'm 29 now ) that I would ridiscover the love I had for art, for illustration and artistic expression... I can't think of anything else to do in my life now and I have to work full time in a dumb job but I keep on studying, on creating and I know with you Adam, when we get to sit down, I will be able to express myself to someone who gets me, who gets most of us and help us grow into something that will make us happy in the long run, too many of your videos, of your messages, even in your mentorship videos ! Resonates with me on a deep level. ( I talk to myself out loud all the time to reorganise my thoughts in the form of a conversation lol ) I can't wait to meet you and thank you for everything you do, truly
I have ADHD & PTSD (diagnosed). Last week I discoverd your Art Talks. (the first copy isnt entirely readable) I was moved to Tears by your Empathy & Wisdom . You touched my Heart & it felt like it was sb. with ADHD. Im not a real psy, only a psychology enthusiast ([not only p.] espacially adhd ) & i perceived you as someone with ADHD. I hope to lern n discuss , from n with you all the meaning of Emotions, Aesthetics & Creativity. p.s. i
Dude. Every single word you said... and I mean Every. Single. Word... was spot on. I didn't get diagnosed with adhd until I was 40 years old. Knowing what I know now and looking back, so many things become clear. Girls are so often undiagnosed because our adhd manifests more as being daydreamy and less as disrupting the class. I was such an artist when I was younger. All I wanted to do, all I did, was draw and paint. But I was bad at math and English and history, so my parents would take away my art supplies and lock them up until I "stopped being lazy and applied myself." I went to art school for 2 years but dropped out because I couldn't draw the way I was told to draw, or paint the way I was told to paint, and my creative writing teacher hated me because I didn't write the way I was told to write. That was 25 years ago. I've hardly written or drawn anything since then. My heart breaks from wanting to, but I just can't get those voices out of my head that told me how wrong and lazy I was. I love learning; I devour information constantly on a daily basis. Turns out I actually love math and physics and history and all that stuff I was bad at in school. Absolutely love it. I love art. I love music. I love writing. And I don't know how to get all the voices of my past out of my head so I can actually participate in the things I love.
Hope you'll start to draw again soon. Screw those past, uninformed, ignorant people. I was diagnosed late too, and I too have had the toxic teacher that didn't like my art because it wasn't 'perfect'. Those people shouldn't be teaching, if they can't see outside the box/curriculum.
Hey Mary, draw, please draw. Don't worry how good or bad you think it is, just get yourself a cheep sketchbook from Ross, or Michaels or anywhere, and draw. Those voices of the past are ghosts, paint a dragon that blasts them away with its fire. And remember the words of Neil Gaiman, "Make Good Art." ua-cam.com/video/plWexCID-kA/v-deo.html
I feel that. No matter if I'm writting or drawing there's voice in my head telling me that's "waste of time" or "I'll never gonna be good enough". It's hard. But... I write for myself. I draw for myself. If I don't like it, if it isn't perfect, so what - it's done for me, noone else will see it until I allow that. An I'm not wasting time - it is my time and my time only and I do it to express myself. And it is in fact time still better spent than in front of TV, watching some drama I can't even remember title. At least it makes me feel better to remove words and pictures from my brain and put it onto pages and canvas. Now my brain can actually focus on dreadful experience called day-to-day life. So don't give up. Allow yourself to do things for you. Just for yourself. Grow and learn, search and compare, find yourself, your voice and your path in this mess of the world. I believe in you, even if you don't believe in youself. As I also don't dare to believe in myself. But I know, there are people who believe in me. That's how it works. So don't give up
@@miramari732 BRAVO!!!
I had the same experience Mary. An intense love of art... and then after naively going to art school and being told how to do my art, whether my art was good enough, and what my art SHOULD be about, etc. my love and ability to do my art withered away. It found it's way into my cooking, which is my new art, but I still struggle to reclaim the artist within that could draw and paint. I wish you the best in reclaiming your sense of expression as I am doing myself. I am confident it can nurtured and regrown!
Being Autistic with ADHD and OCD, school was unbearable. I couldn’t focus, I was scared, etc. The system tends to sugarcoat the living hell out of learning disabilities, making it harder to find help. (Or that’s what it feels like at least) The school just made me feel like “oh I’m just quiet” or “oh I’m just shy”. No. I’m genuinely confused, lost, and have no idea what I’m doing or what’s going on . But the school isn’t going to say that. They’re going to make it sound like I’m just another shy child who’s just slower and will catch up eventually. No. I AM D I S A B L E D. I am not normal. I just want schools to actually capture and understand the severity of it all. But, my teachers were helpful during my times of struggle. Or at least they made things easier during the final stretch of the year and the beginning of this year. I’m at home now, but I’m still struggling. I just hope I can find something good out of this.
Yes. It’s just hurt when I say “Mom, I’m depressed” and all I get is “No, you’re not. Depression is something extreme, and only few chosen ones get it”. I feels you man. Hope you could find a way to live with it
I FEEL YOU SO MUCH, schools need these are learning disabilities, and that telling students they need to "apply themeselves" doesn't do shit
My own mother kept telling me the reason I wasn't preforming well in school because I'm lazy, that I'm choosing to not study for hours on end, that I'm choosing to not pay attention, and the teachers only affirmed her views, and of course, I wouldn't question it because adults always know better right?
It took me until I was over twenty to realize I have autism and ADHD, I could have done so much better if I was correctly diagnosed and medicated, it fucking hurts so much.
And let's not get into all the bullying and ostracization because of my autism, feeling like a freak and knowing why.
This institution needs to do better.
i'm home schooled, but i have bad anxiety, o.c.d, possibly also a.d.h.d, insomnia, asthma, and a few others, i feel you. i say that the only advantage public school has over home school is better socialization and exercise.
I realized recently that despite knowing about the diagnosis, no one bothers to learn what it means. I also realized that when people say "oh, that's not true" or "you can't blame everything on that" and so on, they're doing it because it's easier for themselves. It was a tough medicine when I realized that.
I… literally just last night was emailing my game design professor about how much I was struggling with balancing ADHD, chronic illness, and then all of the stress of finals and school- fully expecting a “well I can give you an extension” type response. Instead, I woke up to an email expressing full understanding, and an offer to sit down over Zoom and work through what I was struggling with one on one. You can imagine my relief. And then I saw this video in my subscription feed, and I’m wondering if the universe is trying to tell me something haha-
I appreciate your thoughts as always, Adam. :) thank you!
Good luck with your classes. I can't relate to ADHD or chronic illness, but I can only imagine because just classes themselves and other personal problems make it hard to finish these crazy, time-consuming, intense pieces.
lol u lucky my teacher yelled at me and was forious that i used ADHD as an excuse she was one of a kind I tell u that luckily it turned completly when I started art schools I was suddenly the most beloved one and learned rly fast
I cried when you spoke about the school experience for someone who is neurodivergent.
Growing up I didnt know I had ADHD. After grade 5 my grades really plummeted, I could easily memorize a chunk of information during class, but if I had to sit down after school and spend hours on homework I just couldn't get myself to do it. I couldnt read pictureless books, my brain would start thinking of something else, I remember having to reread the same one line over and over and over again.
The only thing that helped was gamefying learning. I had a history teacher in highschool who would basically do a point trivia on the lesson from yesterday and that environment actually made learning interesting again. But that was far from the norm. Games were considered "for children" which at the age of 15-16 apparently we were "not"...
The amounts of times i've heard from my parents *"if you only paid as much attention to your studying as you do to cartoons..."* to this day it genuinely hurts, because I tried, I *really really* tried, but my brain would tune out the monotone voices of disinterested teachers, would struggle trying to sit down and not fidget for 45 minutes at a time, and then in university it was a nightmare to sit still for 1h30 (drawing on my hands is the only thing that helped me).
My love for art was killed in 3rd grade. I went to art lessons over the summer, when we were back in school I had brought a painting I had made during those classes and my homeroom teacher, who was an artist, in front of the entire class in a mocking voice said "There is no way you did this".
Of course I had lots of help, of course the drawing wasn't fully made by me, *but that's not the point*! You don't make fun of a CHILD, someone so fragile and early into their development, to make yourself feel good! From that time I was on and off from art, it drew one thing every couple of years, would hate it and stop. Art was something deemed unimportant, it was not a "serious" career. In highschool when I had a really sweet teacher who, never told us what to draw even if the curriculum "demanded" it, saw me sit down and be interested in what i was doing and told me "You're really good, I think you should continue doing it" that really meant something. But from then i was still on and off, I hated almost anything I made, It was never "good enough".
It took until nearly 15 years for me to actually sit down and be truly passionate about art. 15 years of hating everything I did, even though it was the only thing I was passionate about doing.
I wasn't lazy, I was bored.
I hated doing stuff that I couldn't give two shits about and no one could give me an explanation other than "because". Ive literally pulled hair out from stress trying to read through documents on a subject I DIDNT EVEN SIGN UP TO DO, a subject that HAD NOTHING to do with my university course!
We had to *perform well* no matter what, and that makes me sick, because we got blamed for something we had no control over! It's torture asking thousands of people that can't change, to conform to a system that can.
As a drop out of high school, this spoke worlds to me. I cannot explain enough about how hard it was to stay in school even though I had some of the best teachers that genuinely cared for my wellbeing. But because my school didn't push for the arts, it was hard enough to work for something I didn't want in my future. The thing was, I actually got really good grades, even got the top of my year level once but that was only because I memorised and put effort into them. To prove to others that I was capable of 'good things'. For years I had this feeling that I was wasting my efforts and it was hard coming to the decision of dropping out when everyone around me of power disapproved it. They always tried to push me out of it, with words of 'if you just applied yourself more', 'you only have a year left to finish', or 'not worth it' saying that I wouldn't be able to handle the public. I find it ironic now when that was the very thing school was intended to do, prepare me for the outside world. They all saw dropping out as 'quitting' and that if done, the person was weaker and wasn't resilient enough to finish, when in my eyes saw independence, freedom and growth. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety a year ago. I'm constantly struggling to fix the mindset that my school has implemented into me and as of now I'm in a university of arts. But still, some subjects aren't in the line of the work I'm intending to go in. Although I respect them, I still have to exhaust so much effort into them just because they still care about grades and proving my worth again and again. Hopefully one day ill be able to have a guilty free conscience. (I just want to thank you Adam so much for being a beacon during my darker times in high school, you gave and is still giving me courage to push for the things I want in life)
This video hits so hard. I went most of my life as an undiagnosed autistic until recently. Because I never showed "major" symptoms in my development, my "eccentricities" were always viewed as such - and subsequently were punished accordingly. By the time I reached the age of being socially conscious/aware and onward, I constantly felt like I had to suppress and "correct" any aspects about myself that made me different - even to the slightest degree - if I wanted to survive in normal society. For so many years, I felt like I was living in the skin of a whole different person; and it was internalized to the point where I was unable to let loose because I couldn't even tell the difference anymore. All of it eventually culminated in a really deep depression that I'm still recovering from years later.
I'm not entirely sure if there's a point to all this rambling, just that I feel compelled to share some of my experiences and thoughts through listening to and reading the experiences of your's and others' in the comments alike. I guess I'm just being very long-winded in saying *thank you* - not only for this video, but for always being a voice of reason in the youtube art community and for allowing others (myself included) to not feel so alienated.
Thank you for sharing! I'm autistic too and I've done exactly what you did growing up. I suppressed so much of my true self for the sake of appearing 'normal'. I feel I've lost touched with myself so much. I'm 27 now and I'm slowing trying to bring back my old self, or at least validate the person I know I am. It's not easy tho. I'm still so shy and oh so awkward. I often just avoid social interactions completely if I have the choice. I hope we both can feel like ourselves again and express it unapologetically, despite all the conditioning
God Adam, this hit me like a brick. I was told from kindergarden and up that I would grow up to be a failure either directly in my face or I was treated like it. I was constantly being compared to my sister which was at the time basically a model student and perfect in every way in all the teachers eyes. I was being told constantly "Why can't you be more like your sister" and once they even got so frustrated with me that they threw me chair and all into the hallway sliding across the floor. After having lost all confidence in myself they gave me an IQ test which I did so badly on that they thought I was mentally disabled(
As a freelance online English teacher I can get behind it. Nothing beats private teaching. Always more effective and you can track every thought that your student has which is priceless. It is a hint on what to do next. The best way to teach somebody is just to understand their own learning flow and play along with it. Almost impossible to do in a group.
Wish i could start online but my parents won’t let me even after i did heaps of research and made a hug slideshow 😭
@@gravesilk322 Well, you're not gonna be dependent on your parents forever, are you? Just keep learning it yourself. But until then, maybe just keep nagging on them, and they will eventually give in)
“If you can’t give me a why I won’t comply”
- _Adam Duff 2022_
Also, for anyone who is struggling with ADHD and looking for tools or resources - 1. A book called "Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD" by Tamara Rosier. It was a tough read and brought up lots of emotions, but well worth it. 2. "The Anti-Planner" by Dani Donovan, is a book full of strategies to help those of us who struggle with motivation and procrastination due to ADHD.
tysm as a person who cant get diagnosed w adhd or anything rn..
I gotta say I'm probably and most definitely somewhere on that spectrum. Sarcasm does need some wit to come up with things so quickly. My mind doesn't match the art skills, yet I am listening to you, playing a game and thinking of designs I want to/plan to create. To say, my mind is chaos, is accurate, because a thousand thoughts are coming and going, from ideas, to visuals, to thoughts ranging from art to my life and being a caretaker, to work and how I want to leave, but I can't because money and need to build skills up so I can start the art journey and free myself to create. It is not hard to just lose yourself in your creativity, especially if you're building a world, that has stories, and the life that fills the world. I've lost hours sometimes in that mindset of just "roaming the landscape" in said world. Or most oddly, is I can, in my head almost sculpt out like visually in my head sculpt out or sometimes even paint out vaugely what I more consciously am thinking. All in my mind, but in the "real world"? Not even close.
I got diagnosed with ADHD 3years ago, and relly recently with autism. School was hell for me. Since highschool I knew I wanted to work in art. But I always had "no it's not a real job, you can't. You have to do science. You have great capacities", I missed highschool many many times, faking illsness, to stay at home reading, drawing and feeling happy to learn what I was passionate about.
I had to take 3times the final test to get a diploma. And it burnt me out. A diploma which was never ever used. Even when I got to the art university, they were focused to produce neurotypical teacher. It was more easy because I could learn some things that I loved, but once again...diploma which never been used. And finally got to a art school, few people with teacher who was pationed about what they were doing. Best time of my life, but couldn't keep up.
Now as a freelancer who try to leave and learn by herself, not easy. But I'm so happy, I do what I love, I learn at my own pace, and chat with people who are loving what they do. And supports me a lot with my everyday struggles. I mentor a bit for an online art school. And I happy to learn to other (mostly people with ADHD and other struggles), to help them and seeing them growing and becoming eager to learn more in the field.
The public/general educational system is broken, not only in France or Canada, but everywhere. I hope things will change, and I try as much as I can do, support and act for this changes.
Thank you. As someone with severe adhd, that grew up in the 80's and 90's in Ontario...
Who tried to go to college as an adult expecting it to be different and being dissapointed that it wasn't, your so-called rant is greatly appreciated.
My daughters are both like me and struggled in different ways when they were in school. One struggled socially and the other struggled with the acedmic side of things. I struggled with both. The school system has its pride and won't consider for even a moment that it's wrong to not evolve. That it's wrong to not learn from other countries and talented educators. The conversation DOES need to happen and the system as a whole needs to stop trying to shove everyone into the exact same size and shape box. Thank you for starting the conversation and I look forward to watching more on this subject.
I really hated the education system. I always wanted to find a solution. What you have told is all facts. can you talk about what you think are possible solutions? How we can structure a new system? I have been thinking about a new system where everyone can be included.
My brief " current system is designed to filter out, filter out those who don't fit in to a specific field or skill set. What we need, is a system where sorting happens. Children are not taught, they are guided, they are exposed to new areas, fields, morals and life lessons. But they are not forced to follow a specific path."
Hai I'm an 18 year old artest in HS, I have ADHD and (highly suspected) autism. My experience has been no one is really compromising, I remember taking a math test in 6th grade and got a 100 but the teacher did not like the way I did it so I got a 50 because I used my own methods, but she never would explain it enough so I had to figure out my own way of doing it. Iv had meany similar experiences along with the rounds of harassment in JH. My savings grase was my ability to try even with no belief in myself, this is how I crawled out of depression over a few years. But the art class- well I personally feel disrespected by the way is conducted. Too at least my school, all art class art 1 ,2 ,3 ,4 and ap art are all mashed together, and no one cares if the kids misbehave so they play loud explicit content and and take all of the teachers attention, and when I do get it I am not given any critique even when beginning for it. Apparently the teacher dose not know any fundamental aside from 1/2 point perspective.
Im hearing how hard it is to make it in this industry so I'm work every hour I got outside of school, witch take almost all time and energy. I have lost almost all fath in school.
This terrifies me of college and I'm going to be taking a mentorship with tiler eddilin, and be as self edd as I can.
Anyways now days I'm an all A student, and I can say back when I was struggling, with education and my social life they had no sympathy for me, I had to stick my neck out to have it bit then do it again countless times to find how to survive.
Heh, sorry if this comes off as a rant I don't mean that, just lil sower.
Is ok now trying to live my best life and take care of my body so I can manage the work. All you guys helping on the internet are monumentally helpful. Iv been listening for a while and back when I was having a hard time you were really comforting
I was recently diagnosed with autism this year. As an undiagnosed autistic, school was literal hell. This video is pretty spot on.
Who is defining, who and what is normal? Nobody should define! NOT the way we ARE, BUT our goals and MOTIVATIONS are key!
It seems like a lot of us artists have had the same-more or less-shared experiences.
It's all I ever wanted and dreamed of doing, being an artist. Whatever being an artist means to one person might not be what it means to someone else. However, the public education system has robbed a lot of creative beautiful people of that passion in making that dream a reality, all because they teach not only to "create professors" but they teach to create an educated enough working class: laborers. They don't encourage creative thinking or the use of one's imagination. They're all about tasks and rit learning. Regurgitating what they teach and were taught like a production line in a factory that's designed by design to produce grey uninterested un-unique cogs. So, people with ADHD or that are neurodivergent get treated with less understanding, less patience, less better ways to engage their students by underpaid undereducated teachers that are or becoming just as burned or burned out as the students.
Your story Adam is painfully but fortunately relatable. Painfully because it still seems to be a problem for the new generations. And fortunately relatable, because, we that have found solace in what you share here, we are not alone.
Thank you for making a difference. ❤️
I'm a video game design and animation instructor at a magnet high school and whew this video brought me to tears on multiple levels.(I have ADHD and I’m an educator! 😀) As an educator, I 100% agree. The public school system is not set up well for neurodivergent people. At our school we do our best to accommodate and support students, and from what I hear, we are better than most, but it's not enough. It's impossible to give every student the one on one attention they deserve. I do my best to help as many students as I can but the workload is just too much to give them the support they need. They are not set up for success, and the teachers are not either.
Unfortunately, school is just as draining for me as it is for the students. With so many people needing so much attention at once all having different needs, entering grades for over 120 students, communicating with all their parents, being on top of the students so they complete their work, being available to answer questions, teaching the lessons and building new ones to keep up with the ever changing industry, and taking classes when not teaching to earn a teaching certificate at the same time (it’s required for me to teach the course) there is physically not enough time in the day to do even the basic tasks required of me. I work hard every single day to complete all of these tasks but always fall short and it feels like it’s just never enough. It becomes overwhelming, draining, and begins to physically, mentally, and emotionally take its toll. It consumes all aspects of my life and in order to keep up with the workload, it is inevitable that work has to be taken home (I’ve tried not to and it’s physically impossible). We are set up for failure before we begin. In order to keep a healthy work life balance, I do my best to limit the amount of time I work from home. I only give an extra 1-2 hours of work outside of school hours. If I don’t keep limitations, my mental and physical well-being begin to suffer. But because I keep these limitations, I am behind most of the time. I’m doing my best to be the best teacher I can be and provide the best education I can to these students, but this job is not designed with a work life balance in mind. I’ve learned that in order to do well as a teacher you have to put all of yourself into it in and outside of work. And if you purposely choose to not do so, there is a price to pay. The overall student experience suffers. Most teachers I work with do everything they can to set their students up for success, but at the expense of their personal well-being.
I love helping others. It’s who I am. I’m not one to be in the spotlight, but enjoy supporting the crap out of those who are and inspiring others to achieve their dreams. My goal as an educator is to give these students the most relevant knowledge and tools needed for the game or animation industries before they even start college. I want them to be over prepared and set up for success. That passion to support and help them succeed and my love of art is what drives me. But unfortunately the job is so overwhelming and draining it feels like it’s sucking the life and passion right out of me and I know I’m not the only teacher who feels this way.
I know this is a lot, but I share all of this so that people can see the way the educational system is designed doesn’t just set students up to fail, it sets the instructors up to as well and it is a shame. More and more teachers are leaving the industry because of it. Unless things begin to change for the better within the public educational system, this pattern is going to continue. Thank you for listening to anyone who read this, and to any other teachers out there in a similar boat, thank you for what you do. You are making a difference. ♥
I changed my mind, I have to sat this before I loose this train of thought. This will probably come out extremely vague but here's the short version. What I would like to expected in teachers. I'd say the knowledge and skill on the subject should be second to the ability of understanding to the student. Everyone learns differently, everyone thinks and processes information differently. Maybe the focus on expectation of a Teacher should be they're ability to empathize, understand and learn they're students. Personally I'm able to read and learn people very well to the point where I can almost jump into they're shoes in my head to understand where they are coming from, how they think and what and how they feel how they about whatever it is. I don't personally know many people that can do that but I can so I know it's possible. Long story short, connection with people should matter more than anything else. Learning in the educational system promotes and favors the analytical mind but I feel doesn't fully support the creative mind nor does it fully understand it. At times schools will play off that they support it but the grading still comes to grading and numbers.
,Thank you
My eldest has ADHD, and the public school system was such a miserable experience that I ended up homeschooling him. Definitely resonated with the "disruptive" and "not applying himself" comments. Personalized curriculum and the freedom to follow his interests helped a lot, so I applaud your efforts to provide individual attention to all of your students. I know it makes all the difference for neurodivergent people.
Thank you for this, I really needed to hear it. I had a difficult uni experience because of my cPTSD and autism, and even being classed as a disabled student (with the government papers to prove it) none of my tutors believed me. No one took me seriously, and some people (tutors included) enjoyed bullying me. After having graduated for a couple of years now, I can see that everything about me that they mocked are qualities that will help me in the industry. It's really affirming hearing from pros like yourself that we're not defective.
it's highly interesting how Neurodiverse people have this... almost uncanny pull to another by unifying experiences and the mere fact, that we think somewhat alike.
I have the tendency to befriend people that are simply alternatively minded just to find out that they are or suspect to be neurodiverse
which led me down the rabbit hole of psychology and neurology years ago.
I finally got my own courage together to go the path of diagnosis (appointments still pending) of what I suspect to be a mix of Autism and AD(H)D.
I dropped out from animation in public school too. In the end I couldn’t drop another basic class (french and such) because it would lose my right to go to college.
That term I saw myself going the same path as usual so I officially quit before I couldn’t anymore.
It was the final nail on the board written “failure” on my chest.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD at 33 (35 now) and I learned to be myself and to see my value. Now I draw and I take courses online for my own enjoyment. I am still wanting to put myself out there art wise it’ll come someday :)
The real tragedy that I see is when another fellow human being devalues themselves compared to human beings. When I see someone feeling “less than” it freaking breaks my heart. It is a crime against personhood and humanity to let someone be in that dark place no matter the reason.
If you are in that place and you’re still standing I salute you. If you think you feel like that don’t downplay it. You have the right to feel loved and appreciated. It is not weakness or laziness. You are knee deep in tar and tears yet you still try to live a “normal” life and to be here.
You are a warrior and you deserve respect for that.
Wow what a relief valve of a video. After decades of putting all of that pressure on myself not fitting into a system, and having potential, and not finding a place that works for me.
The line "This is a gifted brain, not a broken brain" brought me to tears, and there is so much pain in that fight with yourself.
Realising that i'm wired differently and that it's ok, i'm not of less value.
Thank you Adam
Dude, BLESS your precious ever-needed heart. I've been hoping I wasn't the only person who sees all this shit in the education system, and I'm so damn glad you are so open to using your platform to help truly educate people. One of my goals in life is to help reform education, and you inspire me to feel that it's actually possible.
My sister had a science teacher who would come to class high as a kite, drink vodka out of a water bottle, and disrespect and condescend the students. It took FOREVER for the school to recognize this and fire him. I once had a drama teacher with a seriously ratty atitude. Drama teachers are supposed to inspire you to really get into acting, not make you shrink in your shell because you're taking too long to drop your bag off in her class so you could go to lunch and she could eat alone.
I also once had a math teacher whose name was literally Shirk... And that's exactly what he did, shirked his responsibilities. He would put calculus problems on the board or create them himself without actually knowing how to solve them. It would confuse all his classes, and he'd yell at the STUDENTS and blame the STUDENTS for not putting in the effort to understand the work. EVERY single one of his classes, almost EVERY student, was failing math. I had a 3.7 gpa before taking his class. After dropping out at the END of the semester, because I was just that determined to fit into the government's cookie cutter mold, I ended high school with about a 2.3 or 2.1 gpa. Barely getting my diploma. I kid you not, I left school dumber in math than I began. And unfortunately, that "man" was never fired.
I had to retake precalc in college, even though I succeeded in high school before Shirk's calc class. I would've had to retake precalc A THIRD TIME had I not dropped out of college. The teacher's assistant for this college class sometimes wouldn't even show up when he was supposed to teach certain days. He'd explain things like a broken record or literally just say "do this" and snap at the kids or be dopey as fuck. I told the teacher, and she said all that will get him fired, so I can assume I at least got that guy out of there.
I was going for astrophysics, but I was forced to take electives having nothing to do with my major. Since I applied late, I wasn't even allowed to take any of the classes associated with my major 'cause of "class size." I took a dance class since I'm also interested in that. I swear, the teacher literally pulled someone off the street to be the substitute some days. This other guy was showing highly advanced techniques to beginners and saying "now you do it." And I get that the style of dance the actual teacher taught is much older (70s funk), but he wouldn't let us use music that WE vibed with for the finals, only 70s music, "nothing synth or modernized." BORIIIIING!
In 7th grade, I had an English teacher who passed my desk while I was struggling to think of a word's definition. I tell her I know how to use it, but I can't figure out what it means. She suddenly gets fucking angry and says "that's impossible. There's no such thing as knowing how to use a word without knowing what it means. Try harder."
I was also trying to take as many advanced classes as possible in high school, failing or scoring average in all. My friend at the time was taking all average level classes and not pushing herself in school in the least. She was getting all As. This to me screams of the problem we all have with obssessing over or just simply perceiving "grades." What a way to immediately eradicate someone's ambition. School NEEDS to have curiosity. If there's ANYTHING that I've learned that needs to be reformed in schools, it's the importance of having and cultivating the CURIOSITY TO DISCOVER AND PURSUE.
@patbollin here. Adam, you literally just quoted my life story of young education and job experience at about the 10+ minute mark, and then beyond about the need to constantly learn. And then what you said at the 16 min mark about excelling in work environments where you were able to shape the process and environment to your needs, that's me too. I felt like the school system failed me miserably in my younger years. I had some bad and some really good experiences in art school. I've got some pretty hard opinions about the art school system myself that I discuss with some of the guests on my channel as well. In fact I think I've named you in a few videos as one of the people providing a viable alternative method of education online along with Proko and several others. The social environment is what I've named as "the only good reason to go to art school". Good video, sir. Keep doing what you're doing.
Hey Adam, I just wanted say how meaningful your channel has been for me, thank you for sharing these thoughts and initiating these kinds of important conversations. I have to say this system is equally broken for everyone. Even as that top of the class A+ student who had the capacity to navigate the education system, I was truly miserable. I was constantly burnt out and had my self-worth so closely linked to the work I produced that I saw very little value in myself if I made a mistake or failed. My senior year of high school I gave a presentation centered around creativity in schools, also using Ken Robinson as a cornerstone and was.... promptly led to have a "conversation with counselor" due to my passionate frustration. It really wasn't until I recently got out of college that I realized truly how much the education systems were holding me back. Just like you I'm in love with learning everything and anything, and love working on both art and projects that connect me to other people. Sometimes I wonder what it be like had things had been different from the start,
Isn’t that telling - you’re the one most people would call the “lucky one” yet you too feel that the system short changed you somehow
That really unlocks a whole other dimension to this topic doesn’t it
I'm the exact same way, I've always been "top of the class" and a dean's list student. But honestly, I have considered dropping out of college so many times because of the multiple, multiple issues I have had with it, many of which are the exact same ones you mentioned. The formal education system as it stands is probably the most creatively stifling environment you can be in.
@@AdamDuffArt I have ADHD & PTSD (diagnosed). Last week I discoverd your Art Talks.
I was moved to Tears by your Empathy & Wisdom .
You touched my Heart & it felt like it was sb. with ADHD.
Im not a real psy, only a
psychology enthusiast ([not only p.] espacially adhd ) & i perceived you as someone with ADHD.
I hope to lern n discuss , from n with you all the meaning of Emotions, Aesthetics & Creativity.
p.s. i
What we need is people with Passion: passion to teach something they can't get enough of and a system that respects and pays one of the most important jobs in a society. I will never forget my high school English Teacher. He treated us like people, he listened and tried to convey his love for literature like it was his calling in life. He offered us a space to breathe amidst the chaos of grades, unreasonable bullshit, tests and stress. I learned through him the capacity to stop, breathe and look into myself. He knew what he was doing was unconventional, he knew other adults were laughing behind his back...but his integrity is something I always admired in him, and still do. He made me fall in love with Dante's "Divina Commedia" because he loved it to pieces. And I think it's a testament to his teaching abilities that I, more than 10 years later, still remember him fondly and have written a story by drawing immense inspiration from that work of art. We need people to teach people, we need open communication, we need humanity in schools.
I’d love a AHDH-friendly “how to start art” take on stuff. Maybe that IS mentorship. A community mentorship pairing system?
I can't tell you how spot on you are, as I'm sure many others feel the very same way in the comments and who are watching. There were even times when the school didn't teach me anything and then test me and then call me below average. I did summer school almost every year except high school and mostly middle school. I was mostly known as the dumb, oblivious, and daydreamy kid. No matter what I did I couldn't focus or keep myself from zoning out or daydreaming; maybe even dissociation. I became so ashamed and hated myself. I stopped asking questions and pretended I knew what was going on or else I'd risk getting scolded by teachers or made fun of. I thought I wouldn't go anywhere. Now I'm self teaching or learning in small classes as an adult (not in college anymore), I'm learning so well and fast, and understanding so many things because everything is explained. Nothing is glazed over. I love learning, and I just learned that I'm great at a lot of things that I thought I sucked at. Nope. Just poor government teaching regulations. I love art but I realized that the reason why I loved art was because it was more accepting than other subjects in public schools. It's more willing to make mistakes. Now, I'm trying out new things, and I'm good at them, too! Art will always be my favorite, but now that I'm not in hell/school I can learn so much better and begin to love every subject.
10:00 this sounds exactly like me.. I didn’t learn until a few years AFTER I failed out of college that I had adhd. And I was encouraged away from pursuing art not by my parents but by everyone else for one reason or another.
I remember crawling my way through high school and feeling so much shame and asking myself “if I’ve got all this potential, all this intelligence, all this creativity, why is it so hard for me to just get good grades like everyone else?? What’s wrong with me??” And the pressure of what i knew my future would be like, because from the outside it was “she’s just not working hard enough”, was absolutely soul crushing. I’m still learning how to uncrush my soul at 28, honestly.
Now so much time later, I know myself better and I’m finally on medication that is helping, but it feels impossible to start over or to start again the right way-in a way that I know I can better set myself up for success. I can’t go back to school at the moment because it’s expensive, but it’s such a challenge to create my own structure. I know I’m good at teaching myself-I’ve taught myself what I know thus far, I’ve taught myself digital art, music, French-there was a time I was really into jewelry smithing and I went through the process of teaching myself how to do it at home. I’ve taught myself so much already, but when it comes to turning that into something consistent and sustainable, I need structure. And the kind of structure I find is very pass/fail, and that soul crushing feeling comes right back. I need to study art, but I have to do it on my own, and anyone with adhd knows long term goals are HARD.
No one can expect opportunities to fall from the sky, but it feels like that happens so much to everyone else around me who is able to fit themselves into the mold that rewards that kind of grindset, pass/fail type of consistency. And honestly, I’m still trying to heal the part of me that says ‘you’ll never succeed anyway’.
I'm a highly intellectually gifted individual with autism. I might be a man now, but growing up as a woman a diagnosis for autism was something I essentially had to prove to others even after receiving my diagnosis because the appearance outwards was that I "functioned too well to be autistic". But the truth is I'm just incredibly good at masking. Reading patterns and following them is one of the things I absolutely excel at in life.
Furthermore school was a breeze, intellectually speaking. I'm booksmart. I see the patterns, I follow them, and that gets me splendid grades. Up until high school. See, I don't come from a good upbringing. And in my mid-teens, my entire life shattered and to this day I'm still trying to repair myself from the trauma of growing up in the environment I did. But finding my way back from the brink of falling over the edge, I've spent years looking inwards and learn about myself. I learnt that I needed a sex change, I learnt that I am autistic, I learnt that my discomforts in social circumstances weren't just me being bullied or not having a good homelife but rather that I just didn't share the same values and needs as the people around me. I understood from childhood that I was different somehow, that my social needs and how I viewed people around me weren't quite the same as everyone else. And in my teens, the social bit became too overwhelming. I grew to use headphones, and I fought for them like crazy- had many fights with teachers because they sure as hell weren't taking the one out of two things that helped me focus away from me. I also had my sketchbooks, that I always kept by my side even during class throughout my entire teens. Over and over again I stood on my own to bloody feet and told every last one of them that they're not separating me from my sketchbook, because it was the only thing that could help me focus during lessons. And I was always couped up in a corner, where I felt the least exposed, by a window so that I wouldn't feel trapped. And the lights. Whenever I could I would be in a room with the lights turnt off, because it was yet just another sensory stimuli that exhausts me.
For a long time they called it general anxiety disorder, social phobia included. But in hindsight that was just a symptom. Goodnes gracious put me in a safe environment and I'd be the butterfly of the room, socialised well and people were drawn to me. But it had to be on my terms, and the sensory sensitivities are the real struggle.
It's only now in hindsight that I know that an earbud in one ear shut out the overwhelming noises, and by focusing on my sketchbook I removed much of the visual stimuli that otherwise exhausted me. But more than anything it was the only reprieve from the madness. The only way to find my little bubble of my own space.
I can't even begin to mention how often I locked myself in the bathroom, kneeled and cowered down as I would just try to get a grip, just to have even a minute to breathe. Not every one of us has own breakdowns in public, there are many who hide away and no one knows the better.
As for the school tasks? Again, my school performance plummeted in high school. I was overwhelmed with the information. I read the paper, the instructions for the assignments, and I could not for the life of me understand what I was supposed to do. Not because I was stupid, gracious no. But because it was too much information, too much widdy waddle and contradictions and fluff and padding. And I didn't see the why.
Give me clear instructions, remove the padding, set clear limitations, clear goals and I'll get right at it. But the assignments were never structured like that. They never had a why. And when I asked? "Because the school system says so." Well then don't bloody expect me to be able to make sense out of...
Meanwhile I couldn't for the life of me be arsed to care about subjects that were presented in uninteresting ways. I tried so hard it was crazy, but I could not bring myself to work with crap that served me no purpose.
And when I asked for help, to understand what to do, and why we were doing it? I got yelled at. Because apparently I wasn't trying hard enough.
"If you don't give me why I won't comply." summarises it perfectly. If I did not understand why I was doing something, I couldn't make sense out of it and I couldn't perform.
All of this screams autism. And yet, people wouldn't believe me even when I showed up with the papers. Because it was so much easier for them to think that I was a lazy and problematic student who just didn't want to do schoolwork.
- And then whenever the nationals came around I scored the highest grades. Yea, you'd wonder about that.
Because whenever I was given the opportunity to do something at my terms, I would excel. I would perform better than anyone in any class I was ever a part of. Because I understood the rules, the patterns and I was focusing on the why's and not the how's. But I could not handle the school system. I could not handle the classroom environment. The social environment. And I almost dropped out. I was actively wagering the decision more than once, but I made it through. Only barely, I burnt myself out in the process and then went into rehab for three years afterwards.
It's ridiculous, how a system meant to prepare people for society actively forces some of us out of it. It took me years to get to the point now when I genuinely feel capable enough to work, but even now I am terrified of ending up in a place where I'm considered as less than just because my brain can't handle an environment with everyday sensory input. But give me a quiet room where I can have autonomy over my own space and stimuli, and I will perform like crazy and I will do it well. I just wish people would understand the severity and importance that and not dismiss me for being unwilling or less than.
Oh.... My ... God! This is so heartwarming for me. Adam, on the related note of how school is working I agree. I from Philippines, the education system here is similar but also the same. Like it's a long long long hours of lectures but the teachers are bad at it. Lazy even. they got no fire no passion or anything. I watch your video, ergojosh, Rossdraws and so many other people from the internet and I learn so much more in a 25min. video than an 8hr. of nonstop lecture or reporting or whatever ingenious lazy strategy my teachers can come up with. I kind of convinced myself that I wasn't student material. because what you said... "He's got potential but not actually applying them" is what got me. I got told that so many times that I thought of myself as someone who isn't fit for college, or a community. I told my parents that I want a creative driven course like fine arts, multimedia, animation and stuff like that. but no Philippines need the practical and "Real" professionals like engineering, doctors, and lawyers. I hated myself that I followed what the school system and society told me to follow. I can't love you enough for speaking about this!
Spot on. Exactly my story. I was a lazy student, distracted. Afraid since 5 years old if I did not step up my game I was threatened that I had to do a year over. Study was supposed to be work Hard for. With angry voices. And so many times I had to stay longer after school was finished as a kind of punishment, but I loved the one-on-one time with the teacher, helping, cleaning the class, the chalkboard, straightening the tabels and chairs and in the meantime having meaningful conversations. Having the time for the teacher to express their knowledge in a way that I was able to get it. Me lazy, no and yes, except... when I do 'nothing', as was explained to me sinceI was a child up until adulthood (now 46), I am always doing something; learning like you about many things, binging UA-cam channels, even the ones who are 3 hours long! Every year I invest in getting trainings, workshops. I invest thousands each year in schooling myself, because it is Fun! Because I am curious! Because I love to better myself. And during all my time doing nothing, like binging on movies or series, I get inspired, my thoughts are going this way and that. So many times I have to rewind for this. And I use this inspiration, I write in iA writer, I reorganize the companies I work for/with, I participate in many groups, connecting all my thoughts/dots. And it is great to inspire people with my views on live, especially the ones with fixed views, showing that there are many, many more options. Showing the difference, good or bad, vs getting more or less the desired outcome aka almost everything is good(ish), it just needs some adjustment. And it angers me working with individuals in power with closed opinions destroying peoples lives, destroying companies, destroying society because they believe only they have the Only answer, their way or the highway. I believe everyone is good, and wants to do good, but many are blocked, frustrated, hindered in a way they are unable to deliver.
Thanks for this video, loved the speed of your talking, the sound of your voice, the choice of words, the background, the lighting and above all the piano. It relaxed me. Going to follow you more.
With love, Iris from Rotterdam, The Netherlands
🥰
Adam, I don't know what to say. All of this resonates with me on such deep levels, I love you for speaking so passionately about this issue, because it IS an issue and it's a massive one. Being Swedish, I often get the "well you guys seem to have a good grasp on how to deal with these issues" well yeah maybe now in 2022 we have an increased knowledge and it's more normalised than it was in the 90's when I was a kid. Back then noone even knew about adhd in girls, so naturally me being a fucking nutcase, I was so happy and bubbly and creative and amazing - I was not normal. I was a perfect child that they threw out of classrooms almost every day because I couldn't sit in that chair the way they wanted. Or that I never shut up, I always fiddled with something and I was always drawing, constantly. When you said "yeah great potential if you just apply yourself" that really hit hard. The amount of times I've heard that, or my mom has heard that.. She left crying from the parent teacher meetings because they were obscenely rude and said so many hurtful things. Nobody understood, and I was 7 years old. 7!!! Being yelled at every single day by grown ass people telling me I will never become anything unless I learn to act in a certain way, or learn to behave, learn how to learn. They literally threw me out of the actual room, violently, and I had to sit outside in shame, until someone allowed me back in again.
When I was 16 I got my diagnosis and some amphetamine pills, they made me really smart. And so deeply unhappy. I had to stop after a couple of years because I lost so much weight my spine was sticking out from my back. Since then I've struggled with depression, anxiety, stress and beating myself up so so much and now I'm so tightly controlled by myself in every conversation I have, whenever I have to be around people, whenever I do something - am I doing this right, what am I talking about, remember to keep on topic, is what I'm saying relevant, remember to listen what the other person is saying, pay attention, be observant, can you live without saying this particular thing, are you PAYING ATTENTION.
I think it's spilled over to the art that I'm desperately trying to find happiness in, the ONE thing in my life that I love and will never ever get tired of.. I'm micromanaging everything in my life to the point I'm burning myself out and I can't even do a simple picture anymore. I used to find solace in art, even if it's just a couple of pen strokes. Now I'm too stressed out because what if I'm not doing this right, someone will see this and think it's shit what the fuck am I doing. Why am I doing this. What's the fucking point.
Sorry, please ignore this rant just had to echo your frustration. I love you Adam, your little art talks create that little pause in everything that's so desperately needed, and you always make me want to paint, which is the meaning of my life. I'm stuck and you're helping by just existing. Thank you.
As someone who has ADHD and didnt get diagnosed before late in life where I struggled through so many years. Words like ''potential'', ''restless'', ''lazy'' was common words for me. I burnt out numerous times until I realised this has to stop before I vanish from exhaustion. This video was really helpful, and inspiring thank you Adam ♥
Truly a kindred spirit, love you Adam Duff!
Edit: Thank you for being our bonfire!
I was very bright but did just well enough in school to progress. My mother advocated for me, "no, he's not just acting out, he is bored. He chooses educational TV, he reads educational books at home, his conversation is insightful and curious, so why does that disappear in your classroom?" I wound up doing two years in a special class for troublesome but bright students from allover the county. We covered more than I did for the next 4 years in district. 2 years small class with a good teacher = 4 years of not encountering new information in regular school. I wound up getting in trouble on purpose and cutting class because I knew I could do more than a month's worth of work in about 4 hours. No one told me I could opt for night classes where this is just how they did things. Instead I got treated like a wastoid. I asked for more art classes and was not given them, eventually I was allowed to spend my lunch period in art, I'd skip study hall and be in the art room.
Everytime I encounter a faceless system of rules and paperwork I'm lost in the sauce although my time with coworkers and peers proves to me I am at least as adaptable and capable of doing "the thing". My gfs have always been career minded and/or national honor society members and they ask me why I'm not doing more with my intellect and artistic talents... And I can't answer.
At the moment I don't have a career. I don't feel right in most work environments. I wasn't able to make it through the added hurdles of life and college beurocracy AND the work. One of the three takes me out everytime.
Maybe I'll try your school. It's online artists willing to share their skills that have helped me grow...
I'm not one to cry watching youtube videos but man you hit a spot there. I've been burnt out for years now because I couldn't understand why I wasn't doing great at university and work. I was fortunate to enroll in electronic engineering which was my dream since I was a kid but man was that a torture. It was so much bullshit that by the last two semesters I almost didn't step inside the campus. I was in a hospital bed sick to the bone with every kind of disease. My immune system just couldn't handle all the stress and depression I was going through and I couldn't get why my body wasn't answering me to fulfill my duties. Present time, almost 30yo, I was trying to understand what was happening and the doctor I go to suggested me to take a months-long assisted test with a psychiatrist. I got diagnosed with autism. I remember she telling me "The moment you stepped in I knew you had something. Out of all the tests, you hit something like 97% of chance of being autistic". So many things made sense from that point onwards. I remembered sitting on a large class in university with 120+ students and literally losing it every single day. "I'm being a wuss. Just handle it and try to act normal, dude" I would say to myself. Even on small classes with 30 students I couldn't handle it. And slowly I unconsciously distanced myself, got quieter and quieter, lost the little connections I had and tried harder and harder to "blend in". It's a brutal thing honestly. I don't know if get mad for no one telling me I was different because in university the relationship between students and teachers is a much less personal one for some reason. From what I've read it seems people forget that it isn't because you must maintain professionalism that your relationship towards the other has to be so impersonal and detached. However, had literally anyone home or in middle/high school noticed it and assisted me to deal with it things would've been so much easier.
Thank you for letting out something about this brutalist educational system that I had in mind but I couldn't put into words. And thank you for starting this discussion.
Hi Adam ! I had never commented here, meanwhile I watch all your videos as something special everytime.
I was so happy to see this particular video popping up in my feed, because I left art school for some of these reasons this year and I'm trying to define wich path I want after school kinda ruined some part of why I love creating.
You described everything here, I too felt so bad at school since little, having a routine for something I was not particularly interested in, waiting for the next holidays, having to do work outside of school was torture.
When I went to art school I was like "I'll just do what I like now !", but overtime past feelings about school, competitivity, etc went mixing with what I was truly passionate about and kinda destroyed everything about my art to fit what's expected. I had more and more difficulties getting up to go to school each morning, I was always feeling guilty when doing other things than school work. My only motivation was when we had great instructors and to have time with my friends. Also I don't know if I have ADHD or anything but while I was in class, I had so much trouble focusing on what people said when there was too much distractions and agitation, I was exhausted so easily, and in general I try to avoid these situations these days.
Now that I left school I'm trying to research back what I like to do, why I do it, and if I really want to do this for a living... I'm 20yo, and where I was determined about going to this specific school as the perfect choice, I had to accept that it was not for me overtime. Where I see everyone around me having a plan, I'm just lost now and unsure about what to do next, I'm hating more and more my experience with social medias, and if it was never too much, now we have the AI thing 🕺
Well, thank you so much for all this Adam, I'm looking forward to your next videos and the comments below this one !
Courage pour la suite ! (I heard you speak French and I am ehe)
Adam this video made me tear up I don't know if I have ADHD sometimes I think I might. But I was diagnosed with dyslexia in Jr. High. School was torture for me, not just from the teachers but the kids as well. laughing as I struggled to read left scars that will never fully heal. They put me in "special classes" that basically treated me like I was stupid. I had to teach myself to read out of sheer will. Art became my escape from all this. Thank you for what you said we might not be the same but I resonated with your words.
Oh boy, I’ve been hearing so many stories like these the past year, thank you for sharing yours❤❤ A year ago I found out I’m autistic and probably have ADHD and have been realizing that I wasn't lazy or broken. “2-3 months in…couldn't keep up” …that's my reality all through university, and usually burned out in about March, but I was “so damn clever” according to everyone that I carried on regardless, to my own detriment. Both my teens have ADHD and I constantly tell them that they carry a “bigger backpack” to school than the neurotypical students because of the faults in the system. I constantly tell them to focus on finding and catering to their own strengths and interests! (btw. Sir Robinson’s Element and Finding your Element were my bibles)
My experience in school is not as bad as yours, Adam. I went to a school that specializes in teaching children with learning disabilities, and it is a great school. I am good at English and science, and quite good at Maths and know a bit of French, and more of Spanish. The only school subject I am excellent at that became my favourite is Art because I enjoy making drawings, paintings and clay models. It is the only subject where I got an A in my GCSE, allowing me to enrol in Art, Design and Media at East Surrey College.
Studying at college is good, but at the same time, challenging because of my autism, which I am diagnosed with.
Nearing the end of my second year of study in Art, Design and Media, I was told by my future tutors of level 3 of Art, Design and Media that I would not be able to do well in a two-year study of the same course because they see my autism as a weakness which would make my studying very difficult and after I finish level 2 of Art, Design and Media they dropped me out from moving to level 3 while allowing my other classmates to move on.
I was devastated that I did not make it to level 3 of Art, Design and Media that I had to apply for ICT level 2 in the hope of getting to level 3. I worked hard and got great grades in ICT, but despite my hard work and effort, the tutors of Art, Design and Media Level 3 still won't let me go to the same course I wanted to apply for.
I was at my lowest, darkest point that I decided to give up on studying Art and Design until I heard my mum, who picked up the phone, ranged the phone number of East Surrey College and ferociously demanded the tutors to allow me to go to Level 3 of Art, Design and Media! They did and went to the course; I worked harder like never before and got better grades. I officially finished my studies at East Surrey College! I did well in Art, Media and Design Level 3 at East Surrey College and also did well in my three-year study at Southampton Solent University because I am very interested in Animation.
After I finished my learning at School, College and University. This year in the last month year 2022, I realized my education doesn't end when I graduate; it continues for a lifetime, and I will continue learning to be an artist, an animator, an zoologist, a biologist, a man and more importantly a follower of Jesus, my lord saviour and my god.
My story shows that there are some schools, colleges and universities that can specialize in children, young people and even adults with learning disabilities, dyslexia and even ADHD. The problem with most educational institutions is the need for more understanding of people's unique quirks. It needs to change if schools, colleges and universities are going to live well in the long run.
I love this. All of it. I love the way you went about starting this conversation. I have partial hearing loss in my left ear (I was born with it) and becasue of this I delevoped an Auditory Processing Disorder. Of which, I was not diagnosed with till I was 18 years old and at the same time recieved a hearing aid. Going through school was DIFFICULT becasue the way I've had to process informtaion is much much slower than everyone else so having 5 classes in one day, during middle and highschool, was exhausting. Like most people you need to be able to processes what someone is trying to teach you and for me that length of time to process is extented 10 fold and has and will frustrate teachers and people in my life when I don't catch on as fast. Going into college I at least had some understanding of how my brain worked and having the spaced out classes helped so much because I had a day or more in-between classes to learn the information. I've always felt behind when it comes to the educational system but was shoved through it into getting a degree by my mom, who is a college professor. Half the crap I learned along the way to my degree is lost to time and I only remember what I enjoyed the most and the teachers that actually took the time. ~Thank you~
It’s nice to hear someone to have settled and strong opinion on this problem, quite often people just ignore that. They just say that “there is nothing we can do about it, so accept it and move on”. And most of us did. And it’s also sad, to see all of these people to give up on themselves only because they don’t fit in. I honestly wish something could change.
Thank you SO much for this video. The school system literally broke me. I am and was a good student most of the time, but that is just the outside and superficial numbers on a sheet of paper. The system burned me out, gave me anxiety, panic attacks and major struggles to communicate or recognize my emotions. I always doubt myself. I was bullied and also heard the phrase: "You have so much potential, if only you would apply yourself." a lot. Even from a teacher where I was performing well in class, but well wasn't perfect, so the teacher tried to push me even more than I pushed myself already.
I always try to connect to people on a deeper level, but it is only now that I am in my apprenticeship that I found real friends. I will see, if the friendships hold, when the apprenticeship ends.
I suspect that I might also have autism or ADHD, maybe even both. I'm kind of like a human tornado, but with enough structure to keep functioning somehow in society. I love art and writing and all science related things and sports and music and history. I'm always learning a lot of different things. I need art to cope with the world around me, but I somehow keep feeling like a failure, because people expect so much from me, but never clearly communicate what they want.
I was always an outsider in group situations, talking to the teachers and giving correct answers, but struggeling to connect or communicate with people my age.
I have lost my father and grandfather already and my mother had a stroke this year and my boyfriend lost his father in september, so I'm more confused than ever emotionally, but I'm starting to take actions to get better. I'm trying to fight for myself and I will start to jump into the cold water and share my art with the world. My 24th bithday is in three days. I feel like I have already experienced a lot of negativity, so it only can get better, right?
Sorry for the ramble. Thank you so much for your videos, they help me calm down and I feel like eventhough I have lost my dad, I am still able to get some advice and a different perspective on life, which is incredibly helpful.
I'm going to cry now and eventhough we don't know each other personally, I appreciate you very much as a person.
Sending you lots of love from Germany.
💐 Thank you for making this video, I wish administrators from schools would watch this
For me it felt like the school system drop kicked me into the deep end of a pool, then realized that drowning an already withering plant won't bring it back to where it was before they got it.
I used to get fever induced seizures in elementary, like on a weekly basis sometimes more than once a week. I spent most of my time in hospitals instead of school. When I would get back there was no support for me. I would be behind on every subject and because there were so many kids to teach and I was out so often, spending time to catch me up was regarded as a waste of time so I would sit in class confused and feeling stupid. It got worse when the other kids noticed what would happen to me, they weren't kind. I used to apologize to my mom for bad grades and beg not to go to school, because I knew the only thing waiting for me there was isolation and mockery. When I failed second grade the school staff recommended that my mom take me to a child phychologist. The doctor diagnosed me with a learning disability, I was taken that school and put into another one that had "a program for special kids," since my last school "wasn't a good fit." They never told me the disability I suppossedly had, I feel like the school just wanted an excuse to get rid of me and both the paperwork and 911 calls that came with me being a student.
At first I was afraid of the new school, then I met the best teachers I ever had. The work was hard for all of us to catch up, but our teachers never lost faith that we could do it, I went from a someone who couldn't read and never believed she would, much less enjoy it either, to someone who now read an average of 100,000 words a day. It took a week of; defining 20 words (Monday), Writing each word 5 times each (Tuesday), Writing a sentenace with each of those words (Wednesday), Writing a short story using each of those words (Thursday, this one was the hardest), Our teacher would read us a classic novel that had all our vocabulary words in it and have us follow along while calling on us to pronouce the words when we see them (Friday my favorite, our cheat day.) We read things like Frankinstein & Jungle Book.
The program I was put into was called EBD and our teachers were for once training to teacher and care of all kids not just the ones that fit into a typical mold. Our classes were smaller and we had a specific wing of the school for us. There were sliding doors to shut the noise from outside for the kids that got overwhelmed easily. We had weekly free individual therapy sessions with a counsilor in school at nearly all times. She would check in with us to write goals together for what we wanted to improve on. There was also these individual & class point systems, they helped instead of punished. When you did something that was kind, like helping a classmage with their homework, you could get a star or point, you could also get them from excelling academically, they were always random. They were almost never taken away unless in extreme cases were you got written up for hurting another student. At the end of the the month they would tally up our points if we as a class reached a certain number we could get something like a pizza party (these rewards usually came out of pocket from our teachers and their assistants). We also had inidvidual points we could use to trade in for prizes at the school shop (it was a donation collection of older toys, only kids from the program could buy stuff from it.) Also after class we had designated computer time where we could play games and unwind then it's lunch and back to class.
We got extended time on tests and occasionally got to use calculators too.
We never left the program lile there wasn't a "graduation" or changing of class you were stuck with the same people as classmates/teamates for the next decade of your life. P.E, Music & Art classes were the only ones where any of us were with kids from outside the program but still the same school. It was obvious who we were and because of our differences and small number we were picked on, a lot. So we all eitger scattered and got harrassed to tears or united and internally cursed them out while sitting together like a flock of angry ducks. If you advanced adcademically to a certain point and didn't need as much attention from the teacher as before, you would be offered to do a trail run upstairs with the "other kids"(I could see them try not to use the word normal to describe them and it made me angry, but they were the only adults in the school remotely in our corner so I didn't say anything about that.) They offered three of us the chance, two said no because it was easier for them to stay where we were, I was the only one to say yes. My teachers called me brave. (Cause they knew what I'd probably deal with up there.) The whole thing felt like a corporate spy drama. I started taking classes up stairs, I'd go in the morning, my classmates and teachers saluting me as I leave. The first day was nerve recking, I felt like a foreign embassador for my program going into previously(& recently) hostile territory to strike an allience and like prove we aren't memtally deranged. It went surprisingly well I met my new teacher before anyone showed up and she got to know me a bit. I would sit in the back with my own big ass table, they appearently didn't have another desk for me to use like all the other kids. I felt like I gained an achievement I didn't want. Like someone taped a sign saying "special treatement for me not you" to my forehead. My teacher introduced me as a new student, immediate whispers, class started, after the lesson she gave work, I do it surprisingly finishing earlier than my new classmates, she'd answers some kids questions, come check in on how I was doing, then review. I didn't need many corrections if at all. She explained things really well and was a bit surprised when I told her that. No one tried to talk to me, sometimes I'd hear a classmate say something about needing an eraser and immdeiately look for an extra to hook them up, but someone closer to them was always faster than me. I was frustrated initially then sad that I couldn't find an opening to try to make friends. I don't blame them for finding it easier to talk with their friends instead of a stranger. I resigned myself to doing my work quietly and reading during that class. It got too lonely sometimes for me to concentrate on reading, but I felt better once I went back down stairs. And that was that.
These programs had a higher rate of boys enrolled than girls so I found myself being the only girl in a class often, which had it's own challenges, lack of empathy from the guys for biological issues being one. In middle school some even gave me shit because they couldn't tell if I "was a guy or girl" all because the pants my mom could afford didn't fit my body (puberty didn't help either) right and would bulge around my crotch when I'd sit down.
We could choose to not use the benefits if we didn't declare ourselves as students with disabilities to colleges, but once you did you were fucked. You'd have to jump through more hoops than other people to get to the person that could help you.
I wish more schools would see things from the point of view of their students by actually talking to us, not sending these mandatory servays that no one answers truthfully because they're afriad it could affect their grade if professors were allowed to read them.
💐 Thank you for reading, may you have a wonderful day.
I feel this.
i even got a professional to test me for being dyslexic and had this written down on an A4 paper 4 pages long on how I and a person would learn the best it got ignored (this was like gold served for the schools), and instead of helping me they over graded me for things i should not have gotten good grades in.
the next school was no better.
'Time to be an adult and you have to learn to take responsibility for your studies'
is what i got told from my main teacher,
i'm a visual learner i learn by watching and listening in to yet with that said my school failed me.
and for me where i live education is free unless you wanna relearn and occupation then its student loans.
but what broke me the most was ones you get out of school even with papers in hand it lead to nowhere, i did not fit in or i seam to slow or not as strong as the rest of there runners,
I had to Educate myself and I learn more on my own terms then with the pressure or school.
I notice in my school life
you got to fit in the mold yet the teacher are burnt out then you have teachers who clearly show favored students because they do more ground work to what the teacher wanted, try to fit the mold will burn you more then to allow self-growth but as young individual they are forced into the mold 'just because they need future workers' the teaching in school has not evolved its stagnated and the diagnosis is being thought around without the proper tools or effort in the system to take care of the 'individual learning and tools for the young to help cope with there learning curve'
the School system teaches masses but not the individual person and this as an early start the system is failing us already, but i also know that the society lacks the funds to individually learning no matter Country
we are more or less left to figure out as adults, and it leaves allot of bitter taste and confusion.
that is why your work is so important and you also voice how allot of us feel Adam.
I remember reaching out to you when I was a lost individual and then I got back to you to let you know I am doing alright,
I might not comment on all your talks but I do watch all of them.
You’ve given me a huge mindful to ruminate on, thank you so much
Adam, thank you so much for raising this topic up on the artistic channel. Another thing about people: when you start passionately talking to them about you having adhd, they start thinking that if you are talking so smart about the topic, then you are smart -> then you do not have any problems. I love you and your channel. Talk more about the topic!
I hope this doesn't sound weird. I've been following you since I graduated high school and started developing my art career. Now I have an illustration degree and I'm working as a Concept Artist. From all these years, your videos have always been spot-on with my struggles: "Laziness", procrastination, burnouts, motivation, topics that now makes a lot of sense... I found out I have ADHD a year ago. All your videos have been so helpful for my ND brain. My mind is now exploding thinking that you suspect you might have ADHD, it's like... So that's why I related all these years with him so much! lol
My relationship with art has been so weird lately, I don't have the same passion. Yes, I finally have my dream job, I should be happy... But I think that school killed that a bit for me and left me with a huge burnout, for years now. Being undiagnosed for so long also made things worse. Art school just gave me a degree that nobody cares for, and my ADHD is worse than ever. I'm slowly getting back at it, making personal projects, and having a lot of compassion for myself.
Thank you for this video Adam. Agreed, grading doesn't mean much. Growth is where it's at.
I'm in my 30s and it's my 4th time trying school. I am in my 2nd year at Concordia University. I feel extremely lucky in the program due to the teachers that I have. I know that they value growth, and are very understanding. I know they also have a lot on their shoulders are some of them are very tired... But they still try their darnest to help us. I could see it a lot clearer how the educational system is not mean't for us to grow. It's a ''oh, you're having trouble? It's on you. Clearly, you aren't trying hard enough'' system. Too bad so sad... Too bad so sad it's been eating away at me and I have felt like a failure since a kid!?!
I have always had trouble in school, not because I'm incapable...because I didn't want to miss a single thing. As a kid I would forget to go to the bathroom or keep it in to not miss anything and it sort of ended up messing with my health. There were so many signs that something was off about me, but I didn't know. I was a kid, trying to comply and do my best. I would value grades and try too hard. I spent 6 years trying different anxiety medication, trying to alter my diet, trying to go run almost everyday at 5am.... Therapy has helped me, and yes regular/consistent exercise although it is not running at 5 am. lol
I love learning, even if I could be slower sometimes. Even if I won't always recall things. Learning is life! Sharing knowledge is life!
Man, I love that You are always talking about those hard topics that barely anyone want to discuss on YT.
Adam, thank you so SO much for speaking out.
As a very recent (after years of research) self-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adult, I am only now starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together as to why my entire school experienced was a complete train wreck. Teachers made me eat the "Owen is sooo smart; they would get better grades if only they applied themselves better" for breakfast, lunch, snack time and diner. I managed, somehow, to get through the educational system here in France up until high school. (Btw, French DEFINITELY shouldn't be a mandatory class overseas omg, the nightmare lol)
Everything went downhill after I went to university for an English literature degree (managed to secure a spot in a super prestigious university in Paris) and I dropped out after 3 months. Not only the format of the classes, but the teachers, the students, the rooms, the smells, the lights, everything was just too much. I know now it's because I'm autistic and I wasn't able to process all the sensory inputs coming at me all at once. I started working an office job after that, and then I tried to get back into uni for Japanese studies this time, but the same thing happened, I dropped out again.
I've been blaming myself so much, for YEARS, for all these failures only to realise the problem wasn't me; I did apply myself, I did try, I tried so darn hard, but the school system wasn't catered to my needs.
I'm currently working as a freelance illustrator, I'm in a very rough patch mentally recently so hopefully this wasn't too heavy and sadly, I don't have the answers to your questions either. I wish I did.
I can only say that signing up for Marc Brunet's Art School made my skills skyrocket and I wouldn't have been able to even dream about becoming a full time artist without his classes.
Thank you for doing all this wonderful work; us, young artists, are very blessed to have y'all to look up to.
As a recently diagnosed (at 30) ADHD 3D artist, all I could ever want from you is to keep giving a voice to those who were told to stay quiet. A chance is all we need, and it feels like not many people are willing.
School was a nightmare. I remember staying up all night in grade 6 hating myself because I couldn't keep up with the homework and projects or the debilitating shame when I failed out of my first semester of college for animation after years of everyone telling me how talented I was and hating myself because i "just needed to focus more".
10 years later I'm still the same disorganized guy who sometimes (often) forgets to proof every line of my work, but i'm working at a small marketing and design company leading a team of 3 doing everything from 3D renders, print production, art design and manufacturing. They saw something in me that to this day i still don't, but I was able to take the skills i learned from 1 hour class a week for 3 months to completely change my life. Thank you Geoff Graham if you ever see this for believing in me and giving me the first step on a long road to happiness.
There is a comfort in knowing that something wasn't wrong with me or that I'm just lazy and not living up to what I could've been. Having had to just survive until I leaned that I was autistic near the beginning of the pandemic and realizing that the system just wasn't for me is a gift that means more than any platitude of "you can go places!" Or "just put your mind to it!" Just simple guidance and acknowledgement of "some things you can't do and that's okay, let's find another way." So thank you Adam, this meant so much.
That is a truth bomb Adam. I went through high school with undiagnosed narcolepsy. Failed my entire junior year of English class. Out of my four years of high school I only had one teacher pull me aside and genuinely ask me if I was okay. It was not my English teacher. I still look back on wonder how I managed to fail two semesters back to back. It was because the reasons you stated. The system is built for a singular outcome. My oldest daughter has autism. It took until she was 14 years old to get a proper diagnosis. It wasn’t for lack of effort on our part. If you want to learn something new, research how autism presents in females and how it can go undiagnosed. I have learned so much about neurotypical VS neurodivergent. I feel like I had been living in a simulation before my understanding that people can experience life so dramatically different.
My own experience in high school was not pleasant. Being very shy and avoiding large social events left me with few friends. I spent a lot of time alone at home after school because my “friends” all began using drugs and I did not want to be around that. This was also the time when I really discovered that I could draw well. I had my dad’s huge headphones plugged into my 3 disk CD changer and would lose track of time listening to music with my paper and pencil. I discovered I lot about myself and my emotions during those times. Anyways, thanks for shedding light on this often overlooked subject. I love you too. 😉
I had this one math teacher in sec five that prioritized self learning and learning in groups. She even did math challenges with cool narratives where the whole class competed in teams. Best god damn teacher ever. She made me exited to come to math class. However, the ironic part is that some neurotypical people were struggling to get good grades in that kind of environment and were complaining about it. Me and my crew of adhd andies were getting better grades than ever.
I am becoming a science teacher and never had any trouble in school myself. We've talked a little bit about neurodivergency, the need for adaptation, etc, but hearing videos like these make a bigger inprint and inspires more!
Problem still stands that classes will be reaching up to 30 students, and im not sure How I will be able to adapt everything to different students. Having different assignments to choose between would be nice, but time consuming to create, time i wont have. After a few years i might have the experience to pull it off.
It’s heartbreaking, truly. I was undiagnosed until I was 30, and I was good at school, got good grades, but the stress I was under was insane. Adhd.
My son, he lasted about 4 months in school before I yanked him out. It was already starting to crush him. Likely autism, not confirmed yet.
It’s not designed for us.
I always felt that the grading system was so counter productive. It teaches kids that their value and intelligence is confined to this number. It completely distracts from the real purpose of school which is to learn, rather than perform. That is a lesson that I’m still trying to unlearn today when I sit down to create a piece of art. I was conditioned to look at the practice of creating art as a performance rather than a chance to learn. Grades condition students to be afraid of failure and look only one step ahead at a time, at that next test, or that next assignment. We should be teaching children the value of learning! I decided for myself that I grades were meaningless to me, and sometimes would purposefully not turn in work that I had completed as an internal protest to the system. Something needs to change because things are not and have not been okay for almost everyone.
I graduated highschool with average grades - good enough to pass but not impressive either, while my friend group with their high scores celebrated as I watched from the seats. I felt envy back then, but above all a sense of resignation, telling myself "Well yeah, you only really crammed in the last few days, you made your bed so you lie in it". Honestly the fact I even passed felt like a blessing in itself.
I've had teachers call me useless for handing in work late, having teachers cover for a report I couldn't finish in time by giving me a passing grade. I could never sit down to study at home, always hiding a sketchbook under my work so I could just doodle instead. It felt like shit feeling like I was only getting by on the mercy, pity and bare tolerance of others and not through my own merits, and I could do nothing to make myself just do things right.
Knowing I had ADHD really turned a light switch on everything and put things into perspective. Knowing I was getting fucked over by my own brain and forced to work twice as hard as everyone else, scraping by while my own mind sabotaged me. It's bittersweet through and through - it's altogether enlightening and a relief knowing I'm not alone or a lost case, but frustrating and demoralising as hell knowing it's my greatest strength and weakness, and is something that has stolen so many years and accomplishments from me, and will continue to do so. I am of course hopeful and I accept it as a part of me, but I honestly would not wish ADHD upon anyone I cared about -- it is a unique curse unlike any other, invisible and alien to even your closest family and friends, and Faustian in its flightful duplicity.
I chose to homeschool my kids for many reasons (primarily safety-related concerns), but largely because my daughter has ADHD and my son is autistic with high support needs. They were not flourishing in the school system.
Thanks for bringing up the subject and sharing your views Adam. I'm a teacher and have taught kids from age 6 to age 18. I currently teach Math but have also taught Art. Being an artist taught me not to give up and to be playful with learning and that is how I got good grades in Math class, when I was younger. I would have to test it first, but I think that kids should have all subjects until grade 8. Starting grade 9, It should be a choice whether a kid wants to take math, science, etc. Instead of teaching things they will not appreciate like advanced Math and English, maybe teaching them practical Math, home Economics, how to write properly, how to read properly, etc. would be more fun and exciting.
Also, I teach in a classes where there are very advanced students and also students who are so far behind. Then I'm expected to help everyone equally. Ideally, there should be at least two levels if not three of difficulty for each subject that students can take. For example, I have a Chinese student who is always acing my tests. He is just a kid in grade 6, so I talked to his Dad about it and he told me that in his Chinese school back in that country, they have 3 Math levels, low, medium, and high and that his son is only at the medium level there. I get the sensation that Chinese culture values education much more than American culture and the students are so respectful to teachers in comparison to American students. I think we need to put more value culturally in education for it to work better. A good education is a pleasure, not an obligation.
This is my favorite video of yours... forget that, this is my favorite video on UA-cam! And I've watched thousands because I've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since the age of 12, which meant I had to completely drop of out of high school the next year back in 2016. Whilst I am Neurodivergent, I would like to expand your point on teaching the individual. We, as human beings are literally collectives of Experiences and Ideas and Desires, and to say that the current mainstream education environment is the right way to help human beings become their best selves is not only a lie but an outrageous one.
Hmm... I'm off to go do something radical... My mantra is wisdom, patience and compassion so whatever it will be, it's gonna be good.
This is the one speech....thank you Adam!
I am so thankful that I found your channel!
8:05 Adam has so much potential, he just doesn’t apply himself. That hit me in the feels, this has been my entire life and now my kiddies going through school, next year they will all be in high school. All too often ADHD and Autistic people are burnt out from all the Disablism and ableism that permeates the neurotypical world. Just because…
I’m now 33, and only just been diagnosed Autistic and ADHD after a huge medical scare in 2018 that has triggered an Autoimmune disease. I suspect the years of stress, anxiety and depression thinking I’m always wrong, because the world says I am. I usually research the heck out of a lot of things, then get shut down when I can see a way to make things better… for my children going though school. They are all artists going through the same crap I did.
Your video hits all my nerves that mean so much to me and in tern my children. The class room shouldn’t be under the finger of politicians. Art is an apolitical environment.
Amazing video Adam, I also struggled to fit into the school system. Often been told that I had issues with daydreaming and I wouldn’t concentrate all the time. I am sure I suffer from ADHD/ Autism. I have all the things that go with it.
Fast forward - presently I have been a Game Artist/ Art Lead for games over the last 25 years. I love to vigorously learn, and grow my artistic talent just not the way main stream school expects.
I actually was very interested in art at school but I had to learn all these other subjects that didn’t help me they just left me feeling frustrated and to be honest it is heartbreaking when you feel like you do not fit in.
My son has recently been told he has either ADHD or has autism, but he’s a perfectly normal boy that is at the age of three and he loves art and the kindergarten teachers told me he is the cleverest kid in the class. The thing I wrestle with is that he’s going to go to main stream school and I don’t think he is going to fit in. I also don’t think it’s the best thing for him and to be honest I don’t know if I want to send home to main stream school.
I’ve realised his brain doesn’t function the way other peoples brains function he is gifted in his own creativity and in his own unique way. He is great at problem solving and he is reading at the age of three so he is phenomenal in learning, but maybe he doesn’t concentrate the way that he has to in Schools of main stream.
So yes I agree with everything you said above Adam and thank you for this video it was very helpful. God Bless
wow..Thanks for the talk, Adam.
I've been through many situations like the ones you shared.
I grew up loving to learn about everything, teached myself to read and write in english just to play videogames when I was a kid , but of course those tyoe if things never got any attention from the teachers, they would just get mad or not care at all.
"Lots of potential everywhere, just too lazy"
between the lackluster teachers and the constant attacks of other students (plus dealing with depression) it was really hard to even want to be in the class and I ended up deciding to just quit and focus on other studies.
Now after getting kinda like a stalemate with my depression I'm doing what I can to finally finish this thing through adult's highschool.
In all honesty I feel a lot more comfortable with this type of "teaching"? it's a lot more free form, quite threatless and the pressure and stress is a lot lower.
To be serious I feel like I'm quite behind in the things that a normal person should know, but I also feel like this different path will be very useful for me, hopefully it works out.
Thanks for the video once again, and wish you lots of luck on your day.
Holy fucking shit man, right after the video started I had to pause it and cry. I was diagnosed with adhd maybe a year ago, and that single line about questioning yourself and deleting your work was too relatable. Alright, having vented, I'll continue the video.
I'm still waiting for an ADHD diagnosis, but in the meantime I'm 99% sure I have it. I resonated so much with your experience in school. I was a good student, I never was the top 1 student but I was doing quite well and my school reports always said something along the lines of "Good job but she needs to pay more attention during class, she always seems to be in her dream world.". I always put in 10x the effort than everyone else to get those good grades, and I felt like I was stupid or something if I had to put in that much more work to understand the subject. It was so hard to focus in class that I often didn't understand wtf we were learning about during class and it's only when I came home that I picked back up my books and had to relearn it at my own pace to finally understand. Not only did I have to do my homework and study for exams, but I also had to redo the entire lesson. Going to school during the day honestly felt like a waste of time because I learnt absolutely nothing, so instead I was drawing basically all of the time during class because I knew when I came home I wouldn't have time to draw anymore. I was SO burnt out in high school I got crippling anxiety for a while and it only went away once I took a break. All throughout my childhood I suffered constant stomachaches. when I was 12 it got so bad we had to see multiple doctors to understand what was going on to fix it, and all of them said that it was stress. Anyways, yes the school system is absolutely messed up for people with ADHD or with a neurodivergence. The thing is that just like you said, nowadays I LOVE learning. I have so many different interests and always so excited to learn something new. I binge art videos like this one all the time and I love it. Really shows how school can turn something as excited as learning into the most boring thing. I'm studying game dev in college right now and we only have project-based learning which is fantastic for me! And guess what, the stomachaches are gone. No wonder like half of my study has ADHD xD I'm a little anxious about my future career however, mostly because we're mostly expected to get a job at a AAA company after school. However, just like you said, I have a feeling I won't excell there and honestly, I really don't see the appeal in being a cog in a machine. I really want to be self-employed and be my own boss, that's what I've always dreamed of. It's hard though and there is a lot of uncertainty and risk. I'm preparing myself to get there one day though!
The most important thing for all of you to know, especially if you're a parent with kids in school, that the school system is DESIGNED to undermine a child's potential in life. If you don't believe me, look into the Prussian based school system and what it does. The Prussian based school system, which is now standard around the world in all developed countries, was designed to do two things. Prepare people for the industrial revolution (become a worker bee, and not an innovator), and make people compliant to authority. The Prussian based system removes the most critical part of an education that makes a person free, it removes the liberal arts... Critical thinking, Grammar, and Rhetoric.
It makes people seek "authority figures" instead of figuring things out for themselves. It destroys children's natural desire to learn, and exhausts them with constant memorization of often useless facts. Information that they are then graded on, and taught that somehow this grade is related to their self worth... self worth that is the authority figure's right to give or take.
Teachers are also victims of this system, who then become unwitting accomplices to it's subversive tactics. I've talked with several teachers on this, and they all say how the "system" prevents them from teaching how they want to teach as impassioned teachers, and instead demands that they conform to the (sub)standards of the curriculum set forth by the government/state.
There are a lot of resources out there to help open the eyes of those willing to look so that they may reclaim their freedom. One of the best resources I've found is a podcast called "schoolsucksproject".
I wish you all the best in your quest reclaim your mental freedom!
Oh my god, every single time I hear that "Has so much potential, if only they applied themselves"
It hurts so much. Because that was said SO much, all the time by all of my teachers and mentors. And I didnt know I had adhd then. And so I just felt useless. It still hurts when I hear other people saying they relate to it. It sucks, it's one of the most painful things to hear. Because then you come to believe that you just arent good enough. You are not trying enough. And that Hurts.
And as an afterthought, after finishing your video. I dropped out of highschool. I was so depressed (Likely due to my undiagnosed adhd) that I barely got through any of my classes, and I left highschool without any valid diploma. I went and worked instead. And about 7 years later I'm working on getting an education, because the jobs you can get without a diploma bore me half to death.
But adhd sucks. I'm so glad that I know now that I have it, but it is really rough dealing with it. Especially because many people misunderstand it, or dont even believe it exists.
Just discovered you by accident. Wow, what a powerful conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts so well. I have two sons with ADHD, they are grown men now. It was so tough for them in schools back in the 80's. Their answers to ADHD were medication. Thank goodness I never subscribed to that. Good luck to you, keep fighting for what you believe in.
I have ASD, ADHD, Dyslexia among other mental health problems.
Schools really scuked for me! Because I never understood when the teacher explained stuff in front of class. The teacher had to do it one on one with me to understand. If they did, I would run out of the chapter in 20min.
They also complained that I was "in another world 5min in"..... All the signs where there, but no one cared because I was not running around in class.
School made me feel stupid, when I knew all teh stuff they where teaching us, they didnt do it in my way.
Also my english teacher complained that I used "wrong english", I should not write in the way I thinking it. She should see me now!
Oh man, everything you said was so on point but what really summed it up best for me was your quote "Tell me why or I won't comply." I was deemed as "having a problem with authority" for asking questions. I was genuinely curious, but being shut down for being interested, paying attention and trying to actually learn or raising my hand too often not giving other kids a chance. So naturally I stopped engaging. This also resulted in being labeled as either anti-social or too talkative. I couldn't figure out what they wanted from me. I can only pay attention when things hold my interest and the things they tried to implement seemed so arbitrary for me.
I had straight A's until 6th grade but then ended up almost failing year after year from then on, because I wouldn't do homework. They kept telling me homework is to make sure you understand the information from class, but to me, clearly I did if I was getting 100% on my tests and schoolwork. I was bullied in school and had a pretty rough home life and chores to do, so I felt I had no time for myself and homework was pointless to me. The only thing that got me through was art. If I was drawing they thought I wasn't paying attention eventhough I feel like I retain information better when I doodle. And then if I finished work early in class I'd draw on my work or my desk and get in trouble for it. If I couldn't draw, I'd talk. I tried to bring books to read, andI wasn't allowed. I asked to start my homework in class but they wouldn't give it to me early. They just wanted me to sit there silently and do nothing if I finished my work early but take home work where I would have to do it in a hostile enviroment and after my chores and dinner and rush to finish before bed time. To this day, I still don't get it. All through 4th and 5th grade we had to do a book report per month and I ALWAYS did different Goosebump books, and eventually they said you have to do reports on something else. I was like "Why? I am reading. I am doing the reports. I'm actually doing my home assignments. I am doing well on them. Why do I have to read something I don't like on a subject I don't find interesting?" And nothing pisses me off more in life than the answer I've gotten so many times, from various sources, the inevitable.... "Because I said so."
That just doesn't work for me. I need logic, explanation, a discussion. Give me a conversation. EXPLAIN how it will help me or my learning, something I can understand. I was pretty much written off as acting out or just trying to cause problems. My brain still works like this. I don't know if I'm on the spectrum, have ADHD or just a lot of PTSD from childhood trauma, but my brain just doesn't seem to work how I'm told it should. At almost 40 years old I've come to terms with that though. If they had taken the time to make a task not feel completely pointless to me, I probably would have tried harder to actually do it. But yeah, in my experience the whole fish trying to climb a tree seems applicable.
I still struggle with intense procrastination vs. hyper focus or overthinking/obsessiveness. I do love to learn, but I also still have productivity problems and I need to find my own ways to make things interesting and doable for me. Any tips for dealing with terrible executive function problems would be helpful.
Hi Adam! I rarely write comments but this video almost made me cry. I felt some connection with you when you said that teachers said that you are a smart person but just not doing enough. Just too "lazy". They always told me that. So I just wanna share my experience with you.
I'm a russian artist and I'm 20 yo. I graduated from school at 9th grade (we have 11 grades but you have an option to graduate earlier and go to college(it's not like university and usually for more practical proffesions like builders) and then got to college. I also went to art school (when I was going to a normal school) for 3 years too.
1. School
It ruined me. From a normal kid to a very anxious person who's now scared of everything. I couldn't keep my grades high enough. While teachers were saying that I wasn't trying enough, I was yelled at by my parents. I was called stupid, dumb. I was called a failure. I was even called a bitch and other words like that. They took away my computer (I'm a digital artist so pc is my whole world). It made me scared of failure, of mistakes. It made me doubt myself. Now I feel like I'll never be good enough for anything. That my art don't even worth a dollar. All that for stupid grades that literally meant nothing. For school that gave me nothing. They don't teach you there. They just tell you to do things just like it says to do in the book. They teach you to pass a test, an exam. I was so scared that i won't pass final exams that i graduated at 9th grade. (Here teachers always tell you that you won't pass the exam)
2. College
I can't afford going to actually university because my family isn't rich and I don't want to be in debt. It's not affordable at all. I thought of trying to go a university in another country but even if I somehow will pass all the exams and get visa... I just feel like I won't fit in. Every time I hear someone talk about university and how much stuff you need to do for it and at what speed... It makes me even more sad. They all so passionate and here I am.. always tired and anxious.
I won't talk much about my college. It's a college for builders and they have a design course there. What can I even say about it if we (designers course!) don't even have computers.
3. Art school
The best experience of education in my life. I learned a lot there but I feel like they didn't give us students enough room for creativity. And my teacher was sometimes fixing student's work to the point it's almost just became her work. I appreciated her advices but I wanted to fix it myself.
This comment became my rant and I hope that it's ok. Life is so scary. I honestly don't know how will I live, how will I work with my bad social skills and anxiety. I'll try anyway.
Thank you, Adam, for your amazing videos. They make me feel better. I feel like at least someone understands me and my struggles.
Also.. I was scared to comment before but it's better later than never, right?
Thank you so so so much for a video named "A Letter From A Russian Artist". It means a whole world to me. I feel just like a person who sent you that letter. Maybe my career is ruined even before it could start. But your videos make me wanna try anyway. Try to get out from this hell one day and be happy. Hopefully I'll be able to send you a letter too but from other country and thank you again.
Thank you for everything. I love your videos. I love you.
Thank you for approach this matter calmly yet with passion and I do agree with you I too feel failed from my past school education and as a result dealt with severe depression and burn out and brain damage because of psychotic episodes without knowing my diagnose back then. It was horrible and I was absolutely giving it my all to everyone with my own health on the line. Now that I got a proper diagnosis I am finally where I wanted to be: at peace with myself. A bit damaged and some self-pity because of my harsh journey. And this world just isn’t made for people with autism. Neurotypicals will never understand how much we suffer under their upper-hand conditions.
I'm a weird case where I did really well with school, despite being slower than my peers due to a still most likely undiagnosed learning disability. I just lacked a life and solid friendships outside of school because most of my free time was spent on hobbies and homework. Because I was such a good student my teachers just let me stay late to finish exams, and no one, including myself, caught onto the fact that I was struggling as much as I was. I just thought this was normal, work and homework takes this long for everybody unless they aren't trying or something or they were a genius. My first clue that I had a problem was my SATs. Despite doing well in school and despite doing tutoring and test prep for them, not only did I score poorly, but got the same exact score both times I took the test despite my efforts to practice to improve. And the kicker--my results showed that I got like 97% of what I answered correct. I just was only able to ever finish half the test. Hence my matching scores--it wasn't my knowledge, it was my timing. But it wasn't overly clear until I was an adult trying to balance taking care of myself, others, and work that it became very clear to me that I was not normal. I struggle every day to not slip through the cracks of both my family and societal pressures. Constantly feeling like an outlier in the workforce--especially in the USA--where time and quantity seems to have much more value than quality--and I'm the exact opposite in that sense. I'm slow and meticulous, I'm detail oriented and a perfectionist and I focus on the quality of my work over speed of completion. I feel trapped in the fact that I thrive best working as my own boss with my own methods, or at least within a small team of people, but also struggling with the capability to manage all the factors of running my own business. I'm not anti-social and can work fine with others but struggle also to have a voice being a woman in a male dominated department wherever I go my opinions or input never seems to have weight--it's exhausting and exacerbating (totally different issue of course--I do drafting/technical drawing atm--but going back to school a third time for communication design now) But where I'm at now looking back I've realized the many ways the education system failed me despite me doing perfectly fine in it.
#1-Lack of knowledge in diagnosing 'functional' mental disorders (ie. functional anxiety/functional adhd)
#2-Putting too much weight into standardized testing which gives no real concept of knowledge base or work ethic
(and are apparently easy to cheat on or forge by the wealthy)
#3-Not teaching basic life knowledge at all--finances, cooking, taxes, child care, sewing, time management systems, etc.
#4-Having a one size needs to fit all approach to education
#5-Making teenagers sign up for a mortgage worth of loans to study for a profession they have no experience in and know nothing about until after they graduate
#6-Requiring everyone to have a degree for the bare minimum of labor, but also not putting any value on the degree outside of that with proper pay compensation or benefits despite the degree that is 'baseline necessary' costing more than most salaries for 5 years of labor(+) before taxes and cost of living are deducted
I could go on forever haha but these are the BIGGEST flaws that have greatly affected me in my life path that I would love to see attention given to and rectified for future generations.
I have adhd as well, my psychologist who was doing my assessment last year described ADHD so well, she said that our minds are essentially complex jenga towers full of thoughts, intentions, memories etc, and adhd is very much the player pulling the blocks out of the overall tower. Sometimes the tower stays upright, but is structurally weakened, other times it crumbles. She related coping mechanisms to one strengthening specific blocks in the tower to keep the thing upright and together. It was very apt as it truly does feel like that.
She made a point to really emphasize that people with ADHD aren't stupid or unintelligent, quite the opposite, just that we have a player 2 undermining our actions and intentions, which can make it look that way to the uninformed.
You nailed this video, so many times I was nodding my head. It's why I always recommend people go into university as a last resort or not at all, hell go to a pod school instead, because they really do leave you stranded after promising quite a bit. I felt so burnt by my degree, by the time I was done my bachelors my industry of study had completely shifted and huge chunks of my prep was useless after graduating simply because I took on extra work so I didn't fail, knowing that I wouldnt get the best grades. Universities really do feel like merciless degree printing machines.
I love how your therapist put it, but o can’t help but to feel that it leans a bit heavy towards the negative, like you’re fighting a losing battle
No doubt it’s challenging, but I feel that a lot of the hard work needs to come from societal reform - not yours alone
Recognizing and taking advantage of the unique contributions of the ADHD brain benefits us all
That said, there’s the painful and alienating side of it that we need to make a very strong effort to realize is a reality - they don’t call it the “invisible condition” for nothing
It’s so easy for someone neurotypical to overlook that many of your behaviours and challenges are completely out of your power to control
I can agree with everything that Mr. Adam said. I'm a particularly gifted child within the arts, most notably writing (I published a book at the age of twelve) and art (I now produce hyperrealistic paintings), but I never felt like my gifts were translated as the "intellect" I'd need for the educational system. The only skill I learned from this schooling is that you do as you are told and that you must absorb pointless information. I detested it, for it wasted so much of my time, and now having graduated from high school, I can finally solely focus on my arts business. Thank God that He educated me through speakers such as Mr. Adam, for I would be miserable trying to spread myself thin on a timetable that always demands perfection of me 😔... I just can't do it. My body at this point would give out on me, as it is quite sensitive to stress. Thus, I can never fully brute-force my way through life, or all manner of difficulties follow 😂! The slow path is the one God meant for me, obviously!
Thank you, Mr. Adam, for speaking more on this subject 😊!
Anyone who asks me who my hero is.. it's you, Adam. Looking forward to your next video.
I came across one of your vids for the 1st time a few days ago, and quickly knew you had to be ND, disabled, or have a loved one who is.
We move through life so differently than other people, yet for many of us, we don't come to understand our differences until well into adulthood. I didn't realize I'm autistic with ADHD until my 30s. I wish for all of us that things could have been different. That our sensitive, curious selves would have been cherished, and given room to explore, grow, thrive. Instead, as your video portrays, school crushes us, and gives us no indication that there are any other solutions.
I started telling myself by age 12 I would drop out once I got to the age where it's legal to do so where I live. School nearly killed me. The sensory overload, how fast paced everything was (not even time to use the bathroom between class,) how degrading the teachers and admin treated me, having 35 kids to a class with no way to catch up if you fell behind, dealing w severe mental illness & social difficulties...
I managed to forge my own way through it, but just barely, and with obstacles at every turn. Even in my final semester, I found out I was missing a phys ed credit and would not be allowed to graduate without it. So, I had to learn to run a mile, and then my entire high school diploma was no longer at risk (truly ridiculous.)
It honestly felt like the school did not want me to succeed. The entire experience felt like one giant forced sentencing of being babysat, but then made to pass random, irrelevant pop quizzes along the way. Such a complete waste of time. I wish society valued the human experience and creativity. If it did, school would be completely different.
I was diagnosed with ADHD was I was in middle school. I always struggled with paying attention. When I graduated, I went to art college because art was the only thing that drove me. Well, ironically art college destroyed my passion for the subject and I wandered through life aimlessly for over a decade. I ended up doing the "socially acceptable" thing and went back to college for a microbiology degree. I found your channel in 2020 and the fire inside was relit. I dropped out, found an apprenticeship, and opened up my own tattoo studio within a few years. It's hard but it's the only thing I have ever envisioned doing with my life. I get to be my own boss, make my own hours, take on projects that I know I will hyperfocus on and love doing and I get to connect with clients who end up using sessions as low key therapy. A normal job, normal school was never meant for me. I LOVE teaching other artists and helping others succeed and one day want to open up a bigger studio where I can comfortably take on my own apprentice and teach the next generation. One of these days I want to learn from you Adam for the experience of being taught art in a way that makes sense to me. I obsess with learning and will never stop.
I’ve always felt like a failure, even if my effort were to double, it’s still not enough, i always felt i’m playing catchup with the other kids because of how much i’m falling behind. School and family who deceived you to think it’s all your fault and that “You JUST need to work hard”, just made it even worse. I’ve been suffering with burn outs and social anxiety because of it.
I have just finished highschool and started university. For me the biggest problem with highschool was that I had to spend 8 hours 5 times a week doing things I didn't want to do , study things I didn't care about or the teacher didn't do a good job , most of them were not qualified as you said, and it bored me really bad and after the 8 hours I was tired and often had no mental stamina to learn and study art or programming , things that I do care about and enjoy. I would have loved to have at least 4 of those hours everyday dedicated to my own projects, I didn't need any teachers to help me, just a space outside of home where I could come everyday and develop myself and my skills. Instead I got 8 hours of wasting my time. And yes, 90% of what they thought me was just useless information on the basis that "They teach me how to learn" , I hate that sentence with every fiber of my being. I went to school for 12 years (primary , elementary and highschool) and at no point I got to learn.
I had an issue with curriculum that didn’t have an applied utility. As a child I got frustrated having to learn things that didn’t suit my goals. For instance, math would have been far more interesting to me if it was applied with technology in mind. I too suffer from ADD and dyslexia and if not for me having grit and a serious chip on my shoulder I don’t think I would have ever broke into the creative industry.
Thank you Adam, your words always are a bliss for my soul~
As someone who was undiagnosed with ADHD for their entire life, i feel this in every possible way.
I struggled extremely in school and never could memorize the information that was spilled into the room.
This path wasn't made for neurodivergent people like us. Personally, it broke me in several ways that still affect me and my productivity today.
The "You HAVE to" and "You MUST"'s absolutely are deeply engraved in our society. But i feel like we're slowly moving into a direction where it's acknowledged more and more, thankfully.
My experience with school was pretty much what you and other commenters are describing, but i want to talk about something different.
Adam, i listen to your videos for a long time and it always gets me a little bit emotional, even if i tend not to be a very emotional guy.
Often times i actively avoid listening to them, because i know that if i do i am going to cry hard, even if i normally never do.
A year ago, i promised to myself that i would save money to be in your class. My art isnt even on a style near to yours, i just think that you can teach me so much more than just technique.
Untill now i've changed a lot from this promise alone. On some levels, it was life changing.
Got out of a swamp of debt thats almost zeroed out, and i'm saving money to be able to move out finally.
It will still take a while, but the day is coming, i can see it in the horizon.
I will enjoy listening to your classes when the day comes, but i'm already very thankful, because your videos really were there for me when no one, and i really mean no one, was.
I'm 24 years old and I hope my past will resonate with some people.
My problem at the moment is that I'm not sure if I have ADHD or not, however expecially thanks to videos like this one I kinda suspect that.
My time at school was terrible. Giving math as an example I'd not gain literally any knowledge out of the classes.
So I survided 70 % of my highschool just counting on a luck to not get F at my next exam.
I was among the worst students at my class and noone was beliving in my abilities, not even myself.
Calling my just lazy kid with lots of potential.
3 months before my finals I decided to take things in my own hands and bought a math course online so I could learn own my own in my own Tempo. Within these 3 months I managed to catch up with the knowledge to the point that I passed my finals and got really good with vectors and trygonometry.
and more important to me, prove to myself that I'm not worse than the others which build up my confidence and allowed me to pursue further even more.
Now I'm on my way to become a 3D artist, also learning everything on my own and being much more confident with my own abilities.
This was beautiful to hear. Not sure if it’s me or just the day but was almost brought to tears. This touched me
Straight on the mark. I'm 18 in senior year right now and I've felt the way you described since about 8th or 9th grade. It was very apparent that I was ADHD in 2nd grade, so I took gifted classes, and that was... well, it was one of the decisions of all time (feeling some of the effects of that right now). My teachers were mostly good, besides a few bad eggs in elementary school. I, instead, grew up with many incredibly money-gluttonous schools which (I use this as an example a lot) forced us to buy a $20 T-shirt to get promoted to high school. Almost everything they did gave me that question, why? It would never be answered, and, like you said, I lost faith in not only the school and its system, but it's around the time I lost faith in religion and myself, too. The pandemic came around 9th grade, essentially just extending our spring break to infinity, and virtual got so bad I just stopped doing any of the work at all and treated it as though it was a break. I transferred back, had some mental problems I won't get into because it's not relevant, and essentially continued as normal. Last christmas, I got my first drawing tablet, and realized that drawing was one of the only things I can do for hours and have the time start to blend together, so I committed myself to learning to draw. I've always hated the idea of college and university, it all seemed like such a waste of time, effort, money especially. But my family saw it as a necessity and pushed me (and continues to push me) to go into college. Then, I started having similar gripes about high school as well, though there was the added bonus of hating every possible policy they could enact. It just felt like they didn't trust us at all, they just took more and more and more until there was no fun left at all. It was just "Positive Learning," whatever the hell that means. I've applied to like 12 starter jobs and they've all either ghosted the hell out of me, or straight up no. I had one even that the manager said he was going to hire me no matter what, had the interview, had the handshake, and he... Idk un-hired me? (no contract, he just kinda cancelled). This was all building on my already borked mental state and school was just not helping. I'm in some classes I really like, and the robotics club, too, but honestly it's stopped hitting it for me. I want to drop out, but everyone in my family thinks a diploma is necessary. "You're in your last year, just tough it out." I'm at the age where I don't need to ask permission anymore, but I'm still reluctant to. I want more time to practice art and get my head straight, but I know myself and how I will just find a way to use it for playing video games. I'm failing 2 classes at current, because the credits isn't based on end-of-year, it's end of semester.
TL;DR I'm doomed to fail high school, no job wants me , and I can't focus on anything because the school told me I was doing everything right.
Thanks for reading my inane ramblings about my life story
Hi this is probably super late, but I went through the same situation as you, only as a year older. For me when the pandemic came around I was super depressed and lost motivation to do pretty much everything. After that, my senior year of high school, I took drawing classes and got back into it very slowly. But I still didn't want to go to college. I'm going to community college right now (no that does not mean you're dumb) and it is the best decision I made in my entire life. I've met a lot of great people and made new friends, and finally got to a place I feel like I fit in. The year is almost over, and for the first time ever I'm actually kind of sad that school is ending. It feels like a genuinely special place. I think your family is right to push you to go to college - it's proven that college graduates have higher rates of being hired for jobs and make more money than just high school graduates. I too was on the fence about going to college. It is absolutely worth it to try. I've had fantastic teachers and peers so far in cc, and hope you do too if you go down the 'old college try' path. Whatever you do next, enjoy the end of high school and have a great summer, but most of all have a great life. Dreams exist because we want them to come true in the real world.
My own mother kept telling me the reason I wasn't preforming well in school because I'm lazy, that I'm choosing to not study for hours on end, that I'm choosing to not pay attention, and the teachers only affirmed her views, and of course, I wouldn't question it because adults always know better right?
It took me until I was over twenty to realize I have autism and ADHD, I could have done so much better if I was correctly diagnosed and medicated, it fucking hurts so much.
And let's not get into all the bullying and ostracization because of my autism, feeling like a freak and knowing why.
This institution needs to do better.
Your words have touched my heart.
My old highschool offered college classes which I thought were cool, just until they removed anything creative. Multimedia with animation and game design, removed. So, I tried switching schools because I already moved and my old one was far. But this wasn’t much better.
Both were technical schools and quickly realized they only really cared about the students who traded their souls for their academic and AP classes. There wasn’t much space for me so they put me in web development, which isn’t that bad but also feels like a waste of time. Half the students slack off since the work is too easy, I don’t feel engaged. And every quarter we switched programs but it just feels redundant to always remake the same website again and again.
I still have academic classes which can vary, I’ll give credit to my science teacher, he’s the most real I’ve ever seen a teacher. My English teacher isn’t bad, but my god have the books we’ve read been depressing. Some good, some meh, but all tragedies. Sometimes it can really affect my mood, especially if I’m doing doing so great.
But at this point, it just feels like I’m doing the same thing everyday. I’ve been so inspired with Game music composition and I wanna get back into visual drawing and telling my stories. But the school days just drain almost all that excitement and passion out of me.
Just want to graduate, I hope my parents see that I don’t need some traditional schools after highschool, at least not right away. I’d like to take this course in 2024 but they think I’d be lazy if I wait is that it feels like. I’d work and try to take some courses and such in the meantime however.
Didn’t mean to rant that much, but thank you Adam. You’re videos always feel like you’re a person and not someone jus trying to get me to like and subscribe. Never change ❤.
As someone with ADD/ADHD, who struggled through school and college up through 2013, I can definitely relate. I've had many teachers over the years, but the ones with the biggest impact were the ones who had a love & passion for teaching. One of which has remained a friend & mentor figure in my life for a very long time. The best teachers are hard to forget and are treasures to their students.
Thank you so much for sharing Adam, your videos are a huge encouragement!
Thank you for this. Undiagnosed autism, going through school in the 70s and finishing with a BA in Fine Art. I also have aphantasia, which added to the difficulty. I feel like I was pretty much crushed into compliance just trying to get through. I felt thoroughly lost and isolated, but too scared to stop, and the attempts I made to try and get help did not pan out. I did make a decent living for a time as a production artist--using my hyper-focus to good effect in advertising and publications, but with the autism I'd find myself frequently in the first round of layoffs. I am approaching the end of my work life (mid 60s), and am having the worst time un-crushing my spark, trying to get back to the joy I once felt in creating. I am hugely creative and am capable of experiencing great joy....just not in the work of my hands, which is trapped behind all the unprocessed, crushing criticism and self-doubt. Videos like this are very validating and help as I crawl out of the wreckage. I love that you speak so strongly on this subject. Thank you.
I also have adhd and when you said that you are addicted to learning event though you where not the best student at school that hitted me because I love learning, despite loving art, I really enjoy learning about everything, for my whole life school took my hunger for knowledge.
This was powerful, well said. You spoke for an army of people who find it hard or even impossible to speak for themselves. I salute you sir!
This message touches me deeply, on a personnal level. Back in school I never did well when I reached high school in Belgium, I couldn't focus for more than 20 minutes in class on many subjects unless one particular subject caught my attention for an unknown reason because I found it fascinating, and that's the key point that touched me in your message, I realized later since now I am an adult that I love devouring knowledge, sure maybe not every single day but sooo often, especially when it comes to astrophysics, about art and history, archeology, biology etc. even pop culture in different periods, anyway...
When I was a kid, I used to draw a LOT, but through the circumstances of my life and my mother ( bless her ) tried her best to take care of two children as we were abandoned by my drunk father, she wasn't the brightest woman in the world but she had passion, she wanted the best for us sincerely, but she often, and that's why I say she was sincere because she didn't mean it, she often did more harm than good, when I finished my elementary years with a total average of 84%, she forced me to sell my entire video game collection because I didn't make it to 90%. I had to mold myself to be to the top of the class because I was told EXACTLY "I know Valentin is so intelligent and capable, if only he could put his potential to work" on a general level. And this may sound trivial but it shattered me, up until that point it wouldn't be until my 26th year ( i'm 29 now ) that I would ridiscover the love I had for art, for illustration and artistic expression... I can't think of anything else to do in my life now and I have to work full time in a dumb job but I keep on studying, on creating and I know with you Adam, when we get to sit down, I will be able to express myself to someone who gets me, who gets most of us and help us grow into something that will make us happy in the long run, too many of your videos, of your messages, even in your mentorship videos ! Resonates with me on a deep level. ( I talk to myself out loud all the time to reorganise my thoughts in the form of a conversation lol )
I can't wait to meet you and thank you for everything you do, truly
I have ADHD & PTSD (diagnosed). Last week I discoverd your Art Talks.
(the first copy isnt entirely readable)
I was moved to Tears by your Empathy & Wisdom .
You touched my Heart & it felt like it was sb. with ADHD.
Im not a real psy, only a
psychology enthusiast ([not only p.] espacially adhd ) & i perceived you as someone with ADHD.
I hope to lern n discuss , from n with you all the meaning of Emotions, Aesthetics & Creativity.
p.s. i