i've been trying to stay calm and cool for several years now, because as much as i try to stay connected with my family, my grandfather's dementia has made it very obvious that literally nobody cares. in 10 years they have come to visit him maybe 10 times. they very rarely stay the weekend. thank you so kindly for this video, but i think this christmas im going to start "talking shit". make everyone feel uncomfortable. i've had enough.
"Let's just love each other, that's the Christmas Spirit." What a Powerful Truth at the end! I don't know if this will be the last Christmas with my beloved bride, or if there will be more to come. Either way, I know it will be the best of all the ones which may remain. And so I find myself heartbroken at Christmas. Christmas was always her favorite time of year. She would come to life with decorating & baking, shopping, wrapping & giving, singing in the choir & rejoicing & celebrating the wonders of the Christmas season. All of that is gone now; has been for 3-4 yrs. Somehow I will try to help to make her feel "connected" with the kids & I, and with the Spirit of Christmas. And it will be as simple as "just loving each other". Ms. Vicki, For the past year (since I discovered you), this channel has been a goldmine of nuggets of wisdom and practical advice just like that. You are a Treasure for sharing your heart with us. Thank You! Merry Christmas
Thank you for the sweet compliments. I love when men refer to their wives as “my bride”. It denotes to me that early love, but by the stories they then tell me, I know it is a seasoned love. A tested love. Merry Christmas to you and your bride, and to the family you have created and nurtured. Let Love connect you all at Christmas. All my lov, Mr. Wes. ❤️ Vicky
Vicky.. I think you are amazing and so real and so helpful. My Daddy died last Friday afternoon after 10 years of dementia. Our hearts are broken that we want have him with us this Christmas. It was hard and not something you want to repeat but I would never change it as I am a different person than 10 years ago. The things I have learned can not be taught but only experienced but I am a more understanding and more excepting than back then. Dad changed my life and I am a better person because of his journey with dementia. Praying for the day when their will be a cure for it.
So sorry for your loss, especially during the holidays. Thankful for your growth on this hard journey. It’s a blessing to come out of the other side with positive thoughts after such a difficult time. All my love, Vicky
My Husband is in stage five Alzheimer’s Dementia and does not remember Christmas. I still put up a tree and make a special meal just to celebrate together after being married 56 years. He is aware I am fussing for a reason and it must mean something. I am very creative and that is my outlet, I love to celebrate Holidays it is in my soul. I am still celebrating my Husband until God takes him to heaven. 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Such a “wrong” Christmas this year. My husband and I got covid just before, and were sick when we should have been shopping. Then my 95 year old dad with dementia, who lives with us, got covid over Christmas. It hit him hard, and took all I had, to care for him when I was still sick myself. There were no gifts, no family, no big Christmas Brunch-just an ordinary day (except we watched “A Christmas Carol” and ate homemade fruitcake). It was the first time in our lives we didn’t celebrate. 🙁 Your tone of voice, alone, described our Christmas.
I'm 100% disabled & have cared (BY MYSELF, my only sibling committed suicide & I have no children & my husband of 20 yrs large family did not understand-as I didn't b4 it hit my life!), between caring for BOTH of my parents who have/had different dementias I lost my health & had no energy 4 holidays! Dad died horribly w/Vascular Dementia & cancer a few months ago in 2023 & mom has JUST recently stopped knowing me! My husband & I gave away ALL our XMas decorations yrs ago & stopped family dinners (always @ our home...decorating & dinners I USED 2 love 2 do! As well as gardening, etc. NONE of that ANYMORE!) as I just could NOT do it, running 90+ hrs a week the 1st yrs! Now I'm 8 yrs into it, & am deeply depressed! I'm 59 & feel 80! This yr I ordered a dinner 4 my hubby & I, 2 be picked up, & the beautiful Decorations I USED 2 use in my parents 1ST asst'd living apartment-no longer matter 2 my mom n her SMALL bedroom, + she's "gone" & has severe macular degeneration (so, I decorated her room w/the cheap, but bright, shiny decorations praying she MIGHT see them, tho' doubt she will), & the nice decorations (FEW AS THEY ARE 4 my parents' small 1st apartment) I threw around quickly in our large home that I used to decorate almost every room w/joy I no longer have. No tree still. NO JOY! I'm just exhausted after another ER trip yesterday & want a few days 2 rest & maybe spend time w/my sweet hubby doing a puzzle! What do u give some1 n late-stage Dementia? I've already got her favorite oldie music put on an MP3 player & got earphones 4 her as know music & touch are the last things they can comprehend. So I ordered her 1 of those neck pillows 2 keep her neck & head upright (as she has zero strength & I couldn't find a u-shape pillow 2 keep her body upright in her recliner) in a soft u-shaped pillow. No matter how HORRIFIC it is 4 me (& it has been HORRIFIC-& yrs n2 this I STILL find NOTHING about caring for TWO PARENTS w/DIFFERENT DEMENTIAS!) I ALWAYS know it's worse for THEM/now just mom! That's what breaks my heart the MOST! Good video. Usually I can't handle this kind woman's "happy" attitude-as I haven't felt "happy" in YEARS! I'm a Christian too & this "journey" has almost caused me 2 lose my once very strong faith! Where is the Lord? I do not feel him anymore! All I feel is grief! This was a very compassionate video. Thank you!
I love you too Vicki, you are so precious thank you for your advice and understanding. Your right Christmas is not as joyful with my wonderful husband having dementia. I am still putting up a tree all decorated and a meal of Cornish hens and all the fixings just for him and I. He is in stage four but still remembers how much fun we had at Christmas. So I will make a fuss over Christmas it may be our last one he remembers. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Baby Jesus.👼❤️🎄
My gosh all this is just true. I would never want my grandparents to be put in nursing homes. Love people regardless of whatever they have going on in the mind. I feel for all caregivers. Some may not be great but, I know for every bad one there are some good caregivers.
Big, warm hugs. Come on over to the group. Link up in that description box or look up Dementia with Grace Caregiver Support Group on Facebook. All my love. Vicky
Vicki, you understand!!! "Mom's highlights reel " - you get it! Praise God for the joy of Jesus regardless of the trials He sends to prove His faithfulness. Would you please come be my caregiver? 😄 I'm praying for someone like you. ♡
Hi Vicky . I love your blue chair ? Where ever did you find it . Ild love to have one just like yours . Thank you Vicky and Merry Christmas. I played Christmas music every day for my special people with dementia .🥰
Calm, cool and connected. That is my new theme for Christmas 2021, as apposed to frantic, frustrated and fatigued. Thank you, Vicky, for such a practical and so very useful gift. Merry Christmas! ♥️🎄♥️
@@DementiaWithGrace I'm trying. I want to make this nice for Mom even though she won't even know anyone stopped by or that it was Christmas. And that's okay. I just miss being filled with the Holy Spirit and joyfully singing Christmas carols. Not only do I not have the energy but I also do have the desire. But I know this too shall pass. Thank you for all you do and I pray you have a very Merry Christmas!
i've been trying to stay calm and cool for several years now, because as much as i try to stay connected with my family, my grandfather's dementia has made it very obvious that literally nobody cares. in 10 years they have come to visit him maybe 10 times. they very rarely stay the weekend. thank you so kindly for this video, but i think this christmas im going to start "talking shit". make everyone feel uncomfortable. i've had enough.
Sometimes that’s what it takes. Brutal truth. All my love…Vicky
"Let's just love each other, that's the Christmas Spirit."
What a Powerful Truth at the end!
I don't know if this will be the last Christmas with my beloved bride, or if there will be more to come.
Either way, I know it will be the best of all the ones which may remain. And so I find myself heartbroken at Christmas.
Christmas was always her favorite time of year. She would come to life with decorating & baking, shopping, wrapping & giving, singing in the choir & rejoicing & celebrating the wonders of the Christmas season.
All of that is gone now; has been for 3-4 yrs.
Somehow I will try to help to make her feel "connected" with the kids & I, and with the Spirit of Christmas.
And it will be as simple as "just loving each other".
Ms. Vicki, For the past year (since I discovered you), this channel has been a goldmine of nuggets of wisdom and practical advice just like that. You are a Treasure for sharing your heart with us. Thank You!
Merry Christmas
Thank you for the sweet compliments. I love when men refer to their wives as “my bride”. It denotes to me that early love, but by the stories they then tell me, I know it is a seasoned love. A tested love. Merry Christmas to you and your bride, and to the family you have created and nurtured. Let Love connect you all at Christmas. All my lov, Mr. Wes. ❤️ Vicky
MR LES!! My typo. My apologies!! My love!
Vicky.. I think you are amazing and so real and so helpful. My Daddy died last Friday afternoon after 10 years of dementia. Our hearts are broken that we want have him with us this Christmas. It was hard and not something you want to repeat but I would never change it as I am a different person than 10 years ago. The things I have learned can not be taught but only experienced but I am a more understanding and more excepting than back then. Dad changed my life and I am a better person because of his journey with dementia. Praying for the day when their will be a cure for it.
So sorry for your loss, especially during the holidays. Thankful for your growth on this hard journey. It’s a blessing to come out of the other side with positive thoughts after such a difficult time. All my love, Vicky
My Husband is in stage five Alzheimer’s Dementia and does not remember Christmas. I still put up a tree and make a special meal just to celebrate together after being married 56 years. He is aware I am fussing for a reason and it must mean something. I am very creative and that is my outlet, I love to celebrate Holidays it is in my soul. I am still celebrating my Husband until God takes him to heaven. 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
sitting here laughing and crying.
got to get busy. I have to do every thing. my honey getting worse.
thanks for your help. I appreciate you.
I know. Prayers for strength and shimmers of joy. 🥰🥰🥰
Such a “wrong” Christmas this year. My husband and I got covid just before, and were sick when we should have been shopping. Then my 95 year old dad with dementia, who lives with us, got covid over Christmas. It hit him hard, and took all I had, to care for him when I was still sick myself.
There were no gifts, no family, no big Christmas Brunch-just an ordinary day (except we watched “A Christmas Carol” and ate homemade fruitcake). It was the first time in our lives we didn’t celebrate. 🙁
Your tone of voice, alone, described our Christmas.
The holidays can be so very difficult and I wanted to acknowledge that fact. Just remember, every cloud runs out of rain! All my love! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm 100% disabled & have cared (BY MYSELF, my only sibling committed suicide & I have no children & my husband of 20 yrs large family did not understand-as I didn't b4 it hit my life!), between caring for BOTH of my parents who have/had different dementias I lost my health & had no energy 4 holidays! Dad died horribly w/Vascular Dementia & cancer a few months ago in 2023 & mom has JUST recently stopped knowing me! My husband & I gave away ALL our XMas decorations yrs ago & stopped family dinners (always @ our home...decorating & dinners I USED 2 love 2 do! As well as gardening, etc. NONE of that ANYMORE!) as I just could NOT do it, running 90+ hrs a week the 1st yrs! Now I'm 8 yrs into it, & am deeply depressed! I'm 59 & feel 80! This yr I ordered a dinner 4 my hubby & I, 2 be picked up, & the beautiful Decorations I USED 2 use in my parents 1ST asst'd living apartment-no longer matter 2 my mom n her SMALL bedroom, + she's "gone" & has severe macular degeneration (so, I decorated her room w/the cheap, but bright, shiny decorations praying she MIGHT see them, tho' doubt she will), & the nice decorations (FEW AS THEY ARE 4 my parents' small 1st apartment) I threw around quickly in our large home that I used to decorate almost every room w/joy I no longer have. No tree still. NO JOY! I'm just exhausted after another ER trip yesterday & want a few days 2 rest & maybe spend time w/my sweet hubby doing a puzzle! What do u give some1 n late-stage Dementia? I've already got her favorite oldie music put on an MP3 player & got earphones 4 her as know music & touch are the last things they can comprehend. So I ordered her 1 of those neck pillows 2 keep her neck & head upright (as she has zero strength & I couldn't find a u-shape pillow 2 keep her body upright in her recliner) in a soft u-shaped pillow. No matter how HORRIFIC it is 4 me (& it has been HORRIFIC-& yrs n2 this I STILL find NOTHING about caring for TWO PARENTS w/DIFFERENT DEMENTIAS!) I ALWAYS know it's worse for THEM/now just mom! That's what breaks my heart the MOST! Good video. Usually I can't handle this kind woman's "happy" attitude-as I haven't felt "happy" in YEARS! I'm a Christian too & this "journey" has almost caused me 2 lose my once very strong faith! Where is the Lord? I do not feel him anymore! All I feel is grief! This was a very compassionate video. Thank you!
I love you too Vicki, you are so precious thank you for your advice and understanding. Your right Christmas is not as joyful with my wonderful husband having dementia. I am still putting up a tree all decorated and a meal of Cornish hens and all the fixings just for him and I. He is in stage four but still remembers how much fun we had at Christmas. So I will make a fuss over Christmas it may be our last one he remembers. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Baby Jesus.👼❤️🎄
Love you Mrs Geraldine!
My gosh all this is just true. I would never want my grandparents to be put in nursing homes. Love people regardless of whatever they have going on in the mind. I feel for all caregivers. Some may not be great but, I know for every bad one there are some good caregivers.
Diseases like this are just horrible. I will cherish this advice and remember that love is what they as well as all of us needs.
Yes! I can totally relate ❤
Lol thank you for being so REAL! You had the right eye contact a few times. Lol
😊😊😊🤨🤨🤨😉😉😉
I love you to Vicky.
I love you, Joyce! I am just getting caught up on my comments, sorry it has taken me this long. I hope you had a merry Christmas regardless.
I’m so sad. I definitely don’t feel cool, calm and connected today! Love this video. Very timely.
Big, warm hugs. Come on over to the group. Link up in that description box or look up Dementia with Grace Caregiver Support Group on Facebook. All my love. Vicky
@@DementiaWithGrace, I’m already with you!! (This is Dovie😘)
Vicki, you understand!!! "Mom's highlights reel " - you get it!
Praise God for the joy of Jesus regardless of the trials He sends to prove His faithfulness.
Would you please come be my caregiver? 😄 I'm praying for someone like you. ♡
Come get in the group!!! ⬆️⬆️⬆️➡️➡️➡️ m.facebook.com/groups/dementiawithgrace ⬅️⬅️⬅️Links all around!! ❤️ Vicky
Thank you for this important video.....and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!🎄
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Vicky . I love your blue chair ? Where ever did you find it . Ild love to have one just like yours . Thank you Vicky and Merry Christmas. I played Christmas music every day for my special people with dementia .🥰
I buy almost all my furniture second hand! I’m glad you enjoyed Christmas!
Calm, cool and connected. That is my new theme for Christmas 2021, as apposed to frantic, frustrated and fatigued. Thank you, Vicky, for such a practical and so very useful gift. Merry Christmas! ♥️🎄♥️
Love you Suzan! Merry Christmas!!
@@DementiaWithGrace Love you Vicky. ♥️
Than you SO much for this video. I'm watching in tears. You are a great comfort ❤
Aww. Big, tight hugs. All my love! Vicky
And your hair looks great! 😍
Come get in the group!! We will welcome all this love and joy!!! ❤️🥰😘
Phew. Thank you.
You’re welcome.
You’re welcome. ❤️ Vicky
You’re welcome. ❤️ Vicky
You’re welcome. ❤️ Vicky
You’re welcome. ❤️ Vicky
A mom with a narcissist personality style is a whole other level. You have nothing to connect to from the past except pain.
I have whole video on Narcissistic + Dementia! It’s a double dose.
❤️❤️❤️
Empty, empty, empty……
Big, tight hugs. I know. Think of love. Think of love.
Pam, any fuller today?? Sending you love ❤️🥰😍😘❤️❤️❤️
@@DementiaWithGrace I'm trying. I want to make this nice for Mom even though she won't even know anyone stopped by or that it was Christmas. And that's okay. I just miss being filled with the Holy Spirit and joyfully singing Christmas carols. Not only do I not have the energy but I also do have the desire. But I know this too shall pass. Thank you for all you do and I pray you have a very Merry Christmas!