Growing Up with a Trans Parent with Emma Thomas, from Children of Transitioners | Episode 169

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  • Опубліковано 29 сер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 399

  • @widerlenspod
    @widerlenspod  2 місяці тому +13

    For more with Emma (and our other guests) join our Listener Community! Take advantage of our Summer Subscriber Special and get 10% off an annual subscription by using this link: www.widerlenspod.com/summer

  • @msshrill3681
    @msshrill3681 2 місяці тому +71

    Emma is phenomenal. Thanks to her for sharing her story. Brave and brilliant

  • @user-tf2rj2jm2n
    @user-tf2rj2jm2n 2 місяці тому +51

    Brave woman,Emma.Dreadful story of child abuse.It’s terrific that she is sharing her story.

    • @ceeceebeebee889
      @ceeceebeebee889 2 місяці тому

      She keeps saying "the sexual element of it"-- IT"S ALL SEXUAL; there isn't "just" one elemental that is sexual, it's all perverse and by design so.

  • @ejd5261
    @ejd5261 2 місяці тому +38

    This was wonderful! I think the most important thing Emma said, among many important things, was “please tell me why I/children like me don’t deserve our health” in regards to subjecting babies to the male milk/synthetic hormone/heart drug cocktail or testosterone in utero.
    It cuts through the narcissistic adults’ identity concerns and gets to the core issue: hurt yourself if you insist, but you don’t get to hurt kids. Thats not allowed, regardless of anyone’s identity.

    • @julietardos5044
      @julietardos5044 Місяць тому +1

      I used to be a lactation consultant.
      On the rare occasions that men produce milk and breastfeed their babies, the milk is normal milk and nourishes the baby the same way that a mother's milk does. This particular item in this podcast is nothing to be concerned about; they're making a mountain out of a molehill on this topic.

    • @ejd5261
      @ejd5261 Місяць тому +2

      @@julietardos5044 No. in order for these men to produce milk, they must take lots of synthetic hormones AND domperidone THROUGHOUT the feeding for any milk to be produced. We don’t know what giant quantities of synthetic hormones plus heart meds do to babies. Even when the men do this protocol, they produce tiny amounts of milk- not anywhere near enough for the baby to survive on alone.

    • @julietardos5044
      @julietardos5044 Місяць тому

      @@ejd5261 There are documented cases of men producing normal milk and feeding their babies without any drugs at all.

    • @ejd5261
      @ejd5261 23 дні тому

      @@nataliebolles firstly, there’s not such thing as a “bioidentical” synthetic estrogen. Thats a marketing term. All synthetic hormones are not the exact same chemical makeup of natural human hormone chemicals. Also, there’s no safe elevated levels of estrogen in men. Men aren’t supposed to have female levels of estrogen or progesterone in their bodies- it makes them sick. Thirdly, these men take way, WAY more hormones than women have naturally or via birth control, in order to achieve any feminizing effect. Fourthly, the drug is not approved in the U.S. to induce lactation in women. It is a heart medication, and could affect the baby. Fifthly, where women can legally use the drug, since they have functioning breasts, the can pump and dump the effected milk once their milk comes in. These men need to keep taking the drug (along with their artificial hormones) throughout, and therefore can’t dump the effected milk, which comes in in such small quantities that it couldn’t feed a baby for long anyways. How did I know more about this than you if you worked in lactation?

    • @lorraine.bernardettehoole7743
      @lorraine.bernardettehoole7743 9 днів тому

      ​@julietardos5044 sre we talking about biological males presenting as females or biological females who are presenting as male. I was not aware that a male person could breast feed at all? Or that a biolgical male can in anyway be a mother any more than a biological female can father a child.

  • @caves7361
    @caves7361 2 місяці тому +27

    What an amazing articulate woman. No idea how she survived that childhood. Politicians need to listen to her.

  • @juliaeimer6924
    @juliaeimer6924 2 місяці тому +96

    As a woman, you‘re basically shamed if you take a pain killer while pregnant or breastfeeding, you must not be selfish, baby’s needs first etc…. but if you‘re trans, it is okay to take all kinds of drugs, even chemotherapy, and still get praised for nursing and passing on all these drugs to a tiny human bc it feels sooo good for yourself.

    • @Lilyloo82
      @Lilyloo82 2 місяці тому +11

      @@juliaeimer6924 this comment 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • @kellymarieapplebee
      @kellymarieapplebee 2 місяці тому +18

      I really struggle to verbalise my utter disgust on this whenever I have or raise conversations about trans ideology because I always end up with a lump in my throat and trying not to cry because I feel such a range of emotions over it, I feel repulsed, I feel angry and I feel so upset for these poor babies.

    • @Ruby_Spacek
      @Ruby_Spacek 2 місяці тому

      Lmao, good point.

    • @shannonashley340
      @shannonashley340 14 днів тому +1

      I saw a video of a guy taking so much meds he was able to nurse his child. I cannot imagine what was in that “milk.”

  • @siobhannoble8545
    @siobhannoble8545 2 місяці тому +144

    This is like telling a child they're sick when they're not. That has got to be a form of child abuse.

    • @merg-vh5sx
      @merg-vh5sx 2 місяці тому +19

      Yes. Activists have been calling it Munchhausen's by proxy for ages.

    • @christinenazario2565
      @christinenazario2565 2 місяці тому +13

      Munchhausen by proxy has been around for decades, it is in the DSM five. Basically a parent and or caregiver that puts their child through continuous medical testing they go against Dr. recommendations would be diagnosed with Munchhausen’s by proxy. Sometimes these children die as a result. It doesn’t necessarily focus on transitioning their children, it can be really any kind of harm to their children medically

    • @sharonw2008
      @sharonw2008 2 місяці тому +15

      It's definitely gaslighting their children and is dangerous as they know the truth but have to lie to themselves and everyone around them. This leaves them open to other abuses too 😢

    • @christinenazario2565
      @christinenazario2565 2 місяці тому

      100% agree! Now these kind of abuses that would make it to child-welfare for investigation are now ignored and even celebrated

    • @Catmom-gl5nt
      @Catmom-gl5nt 2 місяці тому +5

      @sharonw2008 that is an excellent point! A similar phenomenon that this reminds me of is when children raised by parents who exhibit irrational fear and high anxiety, they lose the ability to judge what is legitimate danger from irrational. Taught to fear everything, they cannot differentiate genuine threats from imagined in everyday life. How can you expect someone to establish healthy boundaries and expectations when they are taught as a child to deny the reality before them and instead be forced to call it up when it’s down and say when it’s night?

  • @rachelholmes245
    @rachelholmes245 2 місяці тому +51

    My grandchildren are going through this right now. I'm not allowed to see them anymore. 💔

    • @HellCatt0770
      @HellCatt0770 2 місяці тому +19

      I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s like the most evil scourge and yet we are expected to celebrate it!

    • @jayadams9794
      @jayadams9794 2 місяці тому +8

      In the end all the mothers will weep😢 all the fathers will kneel. But by then it will be too late.

    • @Karen-us3ls
      @Karen-us3ls 2 місяці тому +10

      I am so sorry. I pray you will see them again as soon as possible. My heart goes out to you.

    • @ejd5261
      @ejd5261 2 місяці тому +4

      I’m so sorry!! I hope you are able to see them sooner than later, and will be able to tell them that their father’s depiction of women 1. Isn’t true and 2. Isn’t okay.
      Praying to the universe for you and your grandkids 🙏 💔

    • @RebeccaOCD
      @RebeccaOCD 2 місяці тому +3

      I am sorry 😿

  • @heybigbender
    @heybigbender 2 місяці тому +55

    Only 25 minutes in and this is probably one of, if not the best conversation you've had on this channel. It's so refreshing to hear the BS identity side stripped away to reveal the old fashioned terms like dressing, crossdressing, all the lingo that sums up the problematic modern elements of gender. The addition of identity on top of that fetishistic lifestyle was the major turning point that led to what is now a pushback against trans ideology. They reached a level of social acceptance but that wasn't enough.

  • @marycrawford9428
    @marycrawford9428 2 місяці тому +84

    Every time I hear of trans women inducing lactation to ‘feed’ a baby it distresses me.
    Seriously, how would we feel if we realized the dairy farmers were using hormones and chemicals to transition their bull calves and doubling their milk herds that way? Would we want to drink that milk and give it to our families?

    • @scorpina69
      @scorpina69 2 місяці тому

      Cows and other farm animals have been induced with hormones for decades!

    • @insidiousmischka
      @insidiousmischka 2 місяці тому +7

      Because it’s child abuse.

    • @BoomerTelly
      @BoomerTelly 2 місяці тому

      Those are autogynephiliacs with a fetish for lactation. Absolutely revolting.

    • @saffy565
      @saffy565 Місяць тому

      If people knew how badly dairy cows are treated they'd stop drinking milk. Cows are artificially inseminated to keep them producing milk for about three years, virtually non stop, after which they are slaughtered. A cow would normally live for 20 years.

    • @vanessajones9524
      @vanessajones9524 Місяць тому

      I agree, a bloke cannot breastfed a baby, no matter how much lipstick he puts on

  • @prof.jezebel
    @prof.jezebel 2 місяці тому +64

    It seems like a key challenge is untangling gender dysmorphia, autogynophilia, and narcissism. A big tell is how "woman" is seen and how others are respected. If women are seen as sexual caricatures, like drag queen performances, then this is clearly a fetishization of patriarchal objectification of women. If someone chest feeds a baby, prioritizing their own psychological needs over the baby's health and emotional development, this is clearly narcissism. Thank you for illuminating the complexity of these issues with empathy and reliable research!

    • @ohutton
      @ohutton 2 місяці тому +1

      Its more than just narcissism, though that is the root of it. To force a baby to suckle on the hormone filled pus leaking from a fetish obsessed man's nipple is far beyond narcissism. Its psychotic, its endangering a baby for sexual thrills and validation. I'm not sure what the punishment for such a man should be, but it should be maximal.

    • @HellCatt0770
      @HellCatt0770 2 місяці тому

      I think ‘gender dysphoria’ is the result of cross sex ideation or obsession.

    • @AndyJarman
      @AndyJarman 2 місяці тому

      "Trans" is definitely an umbrella "beard" to obscure the fact it's three four or five dysfunctional states that are preying on children as a source of moral integrity.

    • @Catmom-gl5nt
      @Catmom-gl5nt 2 місяці тому +1

      @prof.jezebel Did you read about the HIV positive trans woman who chest fed his child? It was just in the papers. They don’t want HIV positive women feeding their babies as it increases contagion risk and this selfish monster subjected an innocent baby to not only a dangerous cocktail of artificial hormones, but also HIV tainted milk. If that’s not narcissism, I don’t know what is.

    • @marysueeasteregg
      @marysueeasteregg 19 днів тому +3

      I agree with you, but gender dysphoria, autogynophilia and narcissism are not the whole impetus behind the current trans phenomenon, though certainly a part of it. Something else is at work; I am not going to label it, for fear of being edited out by UA-cam. Male to female trans individuals get the most attention, because of their invasion of women's sports and spaces. BUT -- *"Adolescents assigned female at birth initiate transgender care 2.5 to 7.1 times more frequently than those assigned male at birth,* according to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)" -- quoted from Reuters article "A gender imbalance emerges among trans teens seeking treatment". This is a STRIKING reversal of the transgender phenomenon as it has manifested historically in the West (and from what I can make out, cross-culturally), where the large majority of trans individuals have been, until quite recently, males at birth.
      Adolescence is hard on everyone, but harder on average, I think, on females, for reasons biological, as well as the patriarchal objectification of women to which you refer.

  • @merg-vh5sx
    @merg-vh5sx 2 місяці тому +134

    The Trevor Project disclaimer inserted by UA-cam. I can actually vomit at the state of it.

    • @jayadams9794
      @jayadams9794 2 місяці тому

      Why are you watching this then if you pro child transition.

    • @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559
      @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 2 місяці тому +22

      Send them feedback to complain about their ignorance.

    • @arawilson
      @arawilson 2 місяці тому +15

      Pops up when a guest is a gay person too.

    • @AndyJarman
      @AndyJarman 2 місяці тому +5

      I didn't get that - I'm in Australia

    • @HanFace89
      @HanFace89 2 місяці тому +1

      I just sent some strongly worded feedback that will likely be ignored. Trevor IS conversion therapy FFS - conversion INTO trans.

  • @amandag5072
    @amandag5072 2 місяці тому +46

    It's child abuse. Children whose parent is AGP ahould be removed from that parent. There may not be direct SA, but there is still exposure to behaviours which amounts to the same thing. Thank you for talking about your experience, Emma.

    • @souxcasa
      @souxcasa 2 місяці тому +4

      Some might call it grooming

  • @HellCatt0770
    @HellCatt0770 2 місяці тому +69

    We’ve all seen the BBC propaganda films with the happy teenage kids so, so, so supportive of dad becoming a ‘woman’. Imagine how trapped those kids are?!
    Such a roller coaster interview! Emma made me laugh, cry and rage at the injustice. I hate this is done to families and now it’s celebrated too!

    • @nataliebolles
      @nataliebolles 23 дні тому

      What film? Do you remember the name?

  • @peavy6106
    @peavy6106 2 місяці тому +50

    Thank you so much for this conversation. My father hid his cross-dressing from me and my sister when we were children--so I have some gratitude for that--but the co-conditions of self-obsession, narcissism, and misogyny were very apparent early on. He did eventually (of course) reveal his fetish to us as adults after our mother had passed away, and I do wonder how different that experience may be between AGP fathers and their daughters vs their sons. It has felt very much like he's attempting to specifically suck his female family into his self-talk/fantasy world.

    • @St.MartinofToursPrayToGodForUs
      @St.MartinofToursPrayToGodForUs 2 місяці тому +10

      If you can, you should speak out about your experience. Obviously it's different, but your story should be shared, if/when you feel ready.
      I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. May she rest in peace!

    • @HellCatt0770
      @HellCatt0770 2 місяці тому +6

      What an awful experience. I’m so sorry. I hope you reach out to Emma. I think we will all be hearing a whole new generation of children of trans parents 😢

    • @defenestratorX
      @defenestratorX 2 місяці тому +1

      Given the fact that you were told as adults. I say he was probably doing you a favor and made the right decisions by not trying to make it apparent early in life.
      If you still claim it's messed up and that you guys couldn't handle any kind of harsh truths about your own fathers AGP struggles then that has more of a bearing on maybe both you and your potentially your fathers own bearing of not raising you to handle the real world

    • @ddz1375
      @ddz1375 2 місяці тому +5

      ​@@defenestratorXwhy should his daughters be accepting of his abhorrent behaviors? His waiting for their adulthood has nothing to do with their maturation, dad probably had the fantasy idea that family has to accept you. Sharing your sexual proclivities with your children at any age is wrong.

    • @St.MartinofToursPrayToGodForUs
      @St.MartinofToursPrayToGodForUs 2 місяці тому

      @@defenestratorX that's like saying someone wasn't raised right because they aren't accepting of their parent's pedophilic desires.
      Both of these things are paraphilias, sexual compulsions that are seriously problematic.
      And AGP is almost worse, because of its selfish nature, requiring everyone around the person to be ok with it. With pedophilia, there's a lot more social shame, so it's not as if the people around the perv needs to go along with their perversion.

  • @irinas928
    @irinas928 2 місяці тому +31

    Emma is amazing! Very good conversation and super important! Emma and the Children of Transitioners and the thrapists deserve all the support they can get.

  • @ruthhorowitz7625
    @ruthhorowitz7625 2 місяці тому +89

    OMG! That was eye opening!
    Heartbreaking!
    The more I learn the more anti transitioning I become. It's such a narcissistic thing to do.

    • @darielaaudry9193
      @darielaaudry9193 2 місяці тому +5

      I wish they would interview children of gay couples too. I hope this comment doesn’t get erased again…

    • @ruthhorowitz7625
      @ruthhorowitz7625 2 місяці тому

      @@darielaaudry9193 tell us!

    • @shannonsayshi
      @shannonsayshi 2 місяці тому +5

      I agree.. it's similar to encouraging an anorexic to get liposuction and diet or someone w BIID to have a limb removed.

    • @darielaaudry9193
      @darielaaudry9193 2 місяці тому

      @@ruthhorowitz7625 ua-cam.com/video/CVxW9VQTHNk/v-deo.htmlsi=RU83kBOQaDpcMhfP

    • @jj-bv3ui
      @jj-bv3ui 2 місяці тому +1

      you're not really learning then, you're just seeking out echo chambers. You should interact with folks like myself who transitioned and it literally saved my health in a huge way not just mentally but physically. And I came out in 2003 so it's not new. It's just a politicized boogeyman subject that distracts folks from actual issues.

  • @saje239
    @saje239 2 місяці тому +40

    It’s not even recommended for women to breastfeed while undergoing chemotherapy because the drugs are so strong and dangerous. It’s dangerous for the infant! That story is twisted on so many levels.

    • @AmericanAmy
      @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +1

      It doesn’t matter if they’re trans I seen one the other day that’s HIV positive. We’re supposed to believe it doesn’t matter matters to us doesn’t matter to them.

    • @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559
      @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 2 місяці тому +14

      There was also a man with HIV who breastfed an infant. These are some sick creeps we're talking about.

    • @joane24
      @joane24 2 місяці тому +8

      I couldn't calmly listen to that part. Not only the man's deranged behavior but also the indifference of the wider system. It's truly sickening.

  • @Gingerblaze
    @Gingerblaze 2 місяці тому +28

    Very grateful you are addressing how these issues impact the families (parents, siblings and children). It is incredibly difficult for children to say anything about their experiences. when the culture is very much against hearing them.

    • @erinwest8060
      @erinwest8060 2 місяці тому

      Which is so weird because at the same time the media pushes the idea that children "know" their gender and we should listen to them, and that they must be heard
      Until it doesn't fit the narrative and suddenly silence.

  • @AndyJarman
    @AndyJarman 2 місяці тому +17

    Emma is astonishingly well adjusted, its as though her childhood was like a movie she starred in. She's so fluent in the subject that she can see the humour in the crazyness!

  • @garyweglarz
    @garyweglarz 2 місяці тому +75

    I'm sorry, I have no problem with anyone living in their own fantasy world - but when they damage children by pulling those children with them into that fantasy world it's time to just say - "NO - we won't allow you to do that."

    • @marleenjansen4692
      @marleenjansen4692 2 місяці тому +3

      Don´t force the lie..on others pretending to be someone else is FRAUD.

    • @jj-bv3ui
      @jj-bv3ui 2 місяці тому +1

      You know, if you personally can't understand something, that's on you, right? It's not like I can move to France and then be upset that I don't speak French. If you find this upsetting then you should interact with people who don't provide you with an echo chamber, you should interact with different people and understand them, because this isnt new and every culture has had trans people throughout all time and cultures. It's not that confusing, it's just been politicized for votes to distract us from real problems.

    • @garyweglarz
      @garyweglarz 2 місяці тому

      @@jj-bv3ui I'm a retired clinical social worker who gladly mentored a young trans-female therapist before I retired. I was decades ahead of the "societal trend" of finally supporting LGBTQ rights. Some of my best friends are members of the community. That said - there has never been a time in human history that I am aware of where I as a male can wake up tomorrow morning - "feeling" and "identifying" as a female - and then demand access to women's rape shelters, women's domestic violence shelters, women's prisons, women's locker rooms, and women's sports - for starters. The arrogance exhibited by many in the "trans-activist" community in refusing to even discuss the traumatic impacts of placing a human being with a penis in the same rape shelter with traumatized women constitutes a very new, updated, "post-modern version" of "misogyny" - but misogyny nonetheless - that is glaringly apparent to anyone capable of balanced and nuanced thought. Having read 30 books on the topic over the last two years - from all perspectives - even grand dame Ms. Butler - I suspect that your "echo chamber" assertion would fall under the category of - "projection." Just a guess. : /

    • @jwhite5396
      @jwhite5396 21 день тому +1

      Adults should not talk to or involve children in their sexuality or adult problems. “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay Gibson is a great read.

    • @oldschoolhomeschool8071
      @oldschoolhomeschool8071 16 днів тому

      They have proven they damage all of society, even indirectly. I can no longer tolerate them.

  • @AndyJarman
    @AndyJarman 2 місяці тому +21

    When she described the "Edwardian blouse" I cackled out loud ! This MUST have been about the time Little Britain was popular? I mean, SERIOUSLY!?

    • @littleboots9800
      @littleboots9800 2 місяці тому +3

      "I'm a laydeee." 😂 introduced my daughter to Little Britain, she loved it.

  • @ceeceebeebee889
    @ceeceebeebee889 2 місяці тому +33

    Babies are the ultimate props, as Emma said she was as a child and teen, for these absolute pervy narcs.

    • @AndyJarman
      @AndyJarman 2 місяці тому

      As WPATH's SoC 8 demonstrate, the state of childhood is a source of innocence, something they crave like a succubus.
      It's psychopathy, it is what is meant by the terms "morally debased depravity" - this is the darkness you read about in the bible.

    • @Nico5890
      @Nico5890 2 місяці тому

      @@AndyJarman how dare you
      as someone who identifies as a succubus, I denounce those predatory misogynist males 👹🌙
      😂(only joking)

  • @brittneyzarwel6242
    @brittneyzarwel6242 2 місяці тому +27

    20:49 😂😂 an AGp org called SHAFT! Sasha's reaction was the best!

    • @joane24
      @joane24 2 місяці тому +1

      I don't get the joke?

    • @christinadodd5780
      @christinadodd5780 2 місяці тому

      Shaft defination-long handle of a spear. 🍆 interesting name to call a group of trans women 🤔 @joane24

    • @souxcasa
      @souxcasa 2 місяці тому +5

      ​@@joane24shaft is what a part of the male member is called. It's also a hyper male character from the... 60s I think

    • @joane24
      @joane24 2 місяці тому +3

      @@souxcasa Oh, thanks. Now I kind of regret for asking. 😅

    • @souxcasa
      @souxcasa 2 місяці тому

      @@joane24 😂 it's a ridiculous name for a group that believes they are women. Sorry for disabusing you of your innocence there 😂

  • @KizzleWizzleFizzle
    @KizzleWizzleFizzle 2 місяці тому +18

    What a lovely lady and very interesting to listen to her recall her life. I also feel incredibly ill listening to the stories of child abuse and s*xual abuse to pander to the feelings of men and women. Society is turning its back on the most vulnerable. Thank you for sharing.

  • @allthefunofthefair
    @allthefunofthefair 2 місяці тому +4

    This is hands down one of the best episodes you’ve ever made, and I’ve listened to them all! 😂 Emma is a wonderful person and it’s great to see how insightful and balanced she is in spite of her unusual upbringing. She speaks from a place of first hand knowledge and cuts through the crap. Love her.

  • @mikedowning4869
    @mikedowning4869 2 місяці тому +12

    I volunteered on London Gay Switchboard in the 80's and during training we met a TV who described it as merely a type of fetish like leather or rubber. There was never the idea that he actually was or wanted to 'become' a woman.

    • @newtexan1
      @newtexan1 2 місяці тому

      Wow.

    • @honberg193
      @honberg193 Місяць тому +1

      Back then though TV's only developed dysphoria when it developed into full blown AGP. It was quite rare. Homosexual transsexuals in difference actually had genuine dysphoria. Had empathy with women. They still do, as that's who their best friends are. As Blanchard wrote, they are accepted as women by women. It must be horrible for trans widows etc.

  • @lati_da
    @lati_da 2 місяці тому +32

    Thanks UA-cam for the f’d up context blurb about the Trevor project which is nothing to do with the conversation or topic

    • @St.MartinofToursPrayToGodForUs
      @St.MartinofToursPrayToGodForUs 2 місяці тому +3

      I got the "conversion therapy" write-up... Whut?!

    • @HellCatt0770
      @HellCatt0770 2 місяці тому +5

      If you select the dots in the box, top right, you can send feedback and tell them how inappropriate it is! I did. Bloody annoying.

    • @MayBlake_Channel
      @MayBlake_Channel 17 днів тому

      And uses fear-mongering language instead of objective terminology

  • @emmadeemmut1352
    @emmadeemmut1352 22 дні тому +5

    The men trying to breastfeeding babies is the hight of disgusting self-absorbed behavior. It's the most offensive thing I have ever seen, as a breastfeeding mother. Small infant babies don't have so much energy to suck and they vitally need every drop of fluid to be nutritious and life sustaining because their stomachs are so small. Every mother knows the struggle of feeding your infant baby. My heart breaks for these poor children who are just longing for their mothers to come protect them from predators. 💔

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +11

    Interesting and much-needed conversation.

  • @MorePlausible
    @MorePlausible 2 місяці тому +8

    First time hearing the term “grey rock”. Very interesting concept and practice.

  • @Gingerblaze
    @Gingerblaze 2 місяці тому +15

    Social workers and counsellors in Canada dd not help children historically in the past, nor now, as the "help" they provide is about how to accept and support their parents choice to transition.

  • @dunkel.760
    @dunkel.760 25 днів тому +1

    I can't stop thanking the whole team about the great work you are doing, thank you for bringing so many great guests. Thank you! 💚

  • @alisonmary1443
    @alisonmary1443 2 місяці тому +3

    In my 63 years I have never heard the likes of this, I actually thought this video was going to be another run of the mill pro trans. Hearing your story shook me but I also heard hope for others as the brutal reality was exposed. Thank you Emma Thomas for sharing.

    • @christinadodd5780
      @christinadodd5780 2 місяці тому +1

      "Gender-a-Wider Lens" has many great episodes! I usually listen to their podcast when I'm cleaning or doing chores. Last week's episode was excellent, too!

    • @alisonmary1443
      @alisonmary1443 2 місяці тому +1

      @@christinadodd5780 Thank you, I will be watching more and your suggested video.

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +16

    This is the first time I’ve heard the word cross-dresser in years it seems….. strange language changes so fast.

    • @saffy565
      @saffy565 Місяць тому +4

      I'm still using the words "transexuals" and "cross-dressers". I refuse to use "transgender".

  • @joane24
    @joane24 2 місяці тому +11

    To me the correlation of agp with narcissisim or egoism (however you'd prefer to call it) is clear. Considering that agp are heterosexual, their drives are naturally (i.e. according to the natural law) drawn to the opposite sex. But instead of giving yourself to another person in the loving union (for love is the mutual and selfless gift of self), you'd rather want to possess the other as the object if your own pleasure, even to a point of possessing all its qualities for yourself. So it's a complete _reversion_ of what selflessness and loving union with the other is supposed to be - rather, it selfish taking for yourself, and self-containing of the what one perceives as good and attractive.
    So it's basically the epitome of self-centeredness.
    It's like, imagine you enjoy a certain celebrity very much (just an example), but instead of appreciating _them,_ you want to take all the glory for yourself, you want to become the one you appreciate.
    Of course, in agp that's coupled with the sexual attraction and pleasure, but that's how it looks on a principle.

    • @pixie3458
      @pixie3458 Місяць тому +1

      And the idea that it is 'being in love' is just a way of avoiding saying 'turned on by'

  • @dyoung1492
    @dyoung1492 2 місяці тому +16

    Shocking stuff! Safeguarding trashed in the bin!

  • @Trobynski
    @Trobynski 2 місяці тому +17

    Well, I had a friend who had his first ever baby at 54 yrs old and he was very jealous of his wife breastfeeding. I was shocked, i had never heard a man discuss this before. He really wanted to do it. And he was not AGP but I do suspect him to be a covert narc. I no longer friends.

    • @Gingerblaze
      @Gingerblaze 2 місяці тому +4

      That is not an unsual experience for new fathers. It does not signal AGP nor does it mean they are narcissistic at all. It is quite a normal response as they admire that when a baby is first born, their wives are often the parent which the baby prefers (for obvious reasons of a mother being uniquely capable of providing the babys nutritional needs) but also because it may be the first time the husband has had to divide her attention away from the husband. It is quite normal for new fathers to feel some jealosy. In healthy couples, this can be mitigated as fathers can be encouraged to participate in other ways in caring for the new baby and mothers can express respect and admiration for the new fathers commitment to their new family.

    • @Trobynski
      @Trobynski 2 місяці тому

      @@Gingerblaze i dont think mothers should be attending the needs of an emotionally immature husband wjilst she is busy with a newborn. Grow up, suck it up and get on with being a responsible father.

    • @jenniferplatts174
      @jenniferplatts174 2 місяці тому +5

      Met a man who refused...yes he refused ...his wife wanting to breastfeed, because he couldnt do that....and ...'and its not fair' comment from him. We all thought he was a controlling sicko...now i wonder if he was secretly AGP, because he also wanted to inhale gas during delivery in time her contractions. !!!!!! We told him he had to leave the birth unit, he was interfering with our care of her. Narcissim absolute or fantasy stuff ?? Scary man, that one. Listening to Emma...maybe the poor baby grew up in a houshold like hers. Dreadful. 😢

    • @Trobynski
      @Trobynski 2 місяці тому +4

      @@jenniferplatts174 I am equally astounded to hear this! How did men get to this level of weirdness? 🫣

    • @ddz1375
      @ddz1375 2 місяці тому

      ​@@GingerblazeWhat a pathetic and weak man to be jealous of an infant instead of having pride and wonderment at what he helped create. He will never bond with the child in a proper manner if he cannot conced that his wife's breaststroke are not his sole property or sexual plaything but the sole source of life for the child. Pathetic.

  • @cestmoi4532
    @cestmoi4532 2 місяці тому +5

    What an important conversation. ❤

  • @L_Martin
    @L_Martin 2 місяці тому +5

    I see a lot of parallels with “emotional incest”, where for instance the parent will have no boundaries with the child, will adultify the child, tell them in graphic detail about their s* life, walk in on the child in the bathroom repeatedly, do a lot of stuff in short that treats the child like a quasi-romantic partner.
    We understand why a child in THAT situation should be able to name what is happening and be removed from the situation. This AGP dress-up and involving of the child is no different.
    I do not think there is a “cure”, it is just like BPD.

  • @constructor5008
    @constructor5008 2 місяці тому +9

    Exulansic had a serie following the development of one baby from a "trans man" who never though could get pregnant having sex with a man, so kept having testosterone for a while. The baby seemed having developmental problems having his head up , fixing attention ecc. I don't remember everything but you may want to check it...

  • @livingitup9647
    @livingitup9647 22 дні тому

    Oh, gosh, Emma Thomas has SUCH an IMPORTANT contribution to this issue and all the damage that is being done in this strange time we are living through. Emma is quite articulate, intellectually and emotionally aware, and a very valuable voice in the transgender forum. Bravo! Thanks to all of you for this very important discussion. We are all looking forward to more education from this wonderful channel. 🌟🙏💞☮

  • @bronzevixen
    @bronzevixen 2 місяці тому +2

    This was incredible. I grew up with a cross dressing dad. Didn’t go as far as to transition and we def didn’t talk about it at home. It was just accepted. He would wear men’s clothes if anyone came to the house and mostly when we were younger but as we got older he was in women’s clothes more and more until he found some clothes that were almost gender neutral like culottes and blouses where he could almost say they were men’s clothes. He was a paranoid schizophrenic too so there was a whole raft of other issues that honestly made the cross dressing almost the least of all the problems. That said this was in the 70s and 80s and it was a deep deep shame at the time. I feel lucky that he didn’t have the internet otherwise he absolutely would have called himself a trans woman and wanted us to call him mum. My brother and I were so lucky that my mum was so strong and kept us all going through it all.

  • @bulldogklaus47
    @bulldogklaus47 2 місяці тому +11

    perhaps it might be useful to look at this depraved behavior as a form of exhibitionism, a practice that *is* indeed punishable under the law

  • @Joanna-i6d
    @Joanna-i6d 2 місяці тому

    Thank all of you for the time and effort you are relentlessly putting into pushing back against all of this. You are heroes!

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +5

    I haven’t even gotten that far into the video, but I think this is an important conversation because we don’t have to hear from the children of people that have went through this. 2:15

    • @Catmom-gl5nt
      @Catmom-gl5nt 2 місяці тому +2

      We can’t, if we heard the harm it caused it would derail the narrative that “your truth” is all that matters. The difficulty is, the Trans lobby forms the argument as though theirs are the only thoughts and feelings that matter, whereas in reality, the world does not revolve around them and other viewpoints are equally valid.

    • @AmericanAmy
      @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +1

      @@Catmom-gl5nt they just had it. I know what you mean most places in most people are not gonna have this conversation.

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +13

    Using your own child to “affirm” you. 🤦‍♀️

    • @Karen-us3ls
      @Karen-us3ls 2 місяці тому +3

      That is Narcissism. Transsexual or not, that is what it’s like for the children of narcissistic Fathers. You only exist to shine a light on your Father. That was my experience too. It’s excruciating and destructive. I identify strongly with this lady.

    • @AmericanAmy
      @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +1

      @@Karen-us3ls sorry your childhood was like that. It’s sad with some self-esteem is so low. They neither child to validate them.

    • @micheleh5269
      @micheleh5269 3 дні тому +1

      Very hard to imagine, devastating. 😣

  • @Atomb
    @Atomb 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you Emma and wonderful work Stella and Sasha. Incredibly story. All the best Emma. It can't be easy to pour our your heart, but I'm glad you did.

  • @jenniferdouglas-craig1095
    @jenniferdouglas-craig1095 2 місяці тому +5

    Great interview!! Thank you!

  • @silylily1212
    @silylily1212 2 місяці тому +2

    Very interesting and not often shared point of view. Thank you for helping me better understand this experience.

  • @rethaf4387
    @rethaf4387 2 місяці тому +5

    Hi, Sasha and Stella! Are you aware that, when I (and probably most of your other viewers) access this UA-cam video, UA-cam added a link at the top linking to The Trevor Project, about conversion therapy?
    (I took a screenshot if you are interested.)

  • @marthastrayton
    @marthastrayton 2 місяці тому +8

    Your observed experience about trans women, is most interesting, that these TW find biological women strange and are distant from them!! They are men deep down….

    • @Nico5890
      @Nico5890 2 місяці тому

      Totally. I have met many, and all are misogynists.

  • @suzannelipscombe589
    @suzannelipscombe589 9 днів тому

    Thankyou for sharing your story Emma.

  • @shannonashley340
    @shannonashley340 14 днів тому

    As a Floridian, a cold summer day is unimaginable.

  • @normanshadow1
    @normanshadow1 21 день тому

    Wow, it never really occurred to the impact on this next generation. Thank you for this!

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +6

    I think watching certain kind of bad videos shall we say at a young age may push a lot of people into this. I think it’s possible I really do and not just us other things too, and it gives them a bad image of woman if they’ve never been around women, especially in an intimate way.

  • @MorePlausible
    @MorePlausible 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you Emma for sharing your story.

  • @queenjasminetemaiharoa7009
    @queenjasminetemaiharoa7009 2 місяці тому +7

    Even though you say you weren't s**ually abused, it still sounds like emotional incest to me😢💔

  • @Lilyloo82
    @Lilyloo82 2 місяці тому +5

    Why is the Trevor Project advertised above the comments???

    • @alihenderson5910
      @alihenderson5910 2 місяці тому +6

      It's yt's way of trying to discredit the video.

    • @LeeStoneman
      @LeeStoneman 2 місяці тому +3

      Typical YT being assholes 😒

  • @missp498
    @missp498 2 місяці тому +2

    I had an aquaintance at a college I went to who's father did this in her late teens. She told our frind group and I could see the anguish it was causing, the fear. Luckily fo her, her mother and her and the rest of the family all stuck together and supported each other. They were definite greiving their DAD. It was actually quite harrowing. I remember feeling it was quite a selfish act but still felt sorry for him. He just kept saying it was what made him happy and how he deserved to be happy. I never saw the man but I can almost guarantee that he would not have a hope in hell of passing as a woman. His kids were scared he was going to be attacked and they were going to be attacked. At least ther is not that problem so much now. Or perhaps there is.

    • @pixie3458
      @pixie3458 Місяць тому +1

      'happy' as in sexual gratification. Not happy because his family, which should have been his primary concern, were happy.

  • @maryannblair9784
    @maryannblair9784 17 днів тому

    Very interesting topic. Thank you to all.

  • @ddz1375
    @ddz1375 2 місяці тому +4

    The problem with western medical and psychological practices is that there is a proclivity to have people "feel" better and not truly get better or be better people. The puch for acceptance as one is instead of facing and changing the problem is a paving stone on the road to oblivion.

    • @LemonieLovegood
      @LemonieLovegood Місяць тому

      Yes! There is a great book by Theodore Dalrymple on how psychology has made understanding of the human condition worse (cant remember the name just now). Also I once read an article about how morality is weirdly absent from therapy even though it is a major impact on our lives and mental wellbeing. Essentially, we see all mental issues exclusively as problems of sickness and health rather than issues relating to the human condition and morality. When probably all those factors should be considered.

  • @laurarivero-fisher3128
    @laurarivero-fisher3128 2 місяці тому +2

    It’s NOT TRICKY!!! The children must always be protected from abuse and neglect 100 % of the time. I’m a Fearless child protector. My memory came back at age 55. I was molested by my step father who I knew since age 3. He gave me a complete confession when I forcefully confronted him. Age 5 to 11. I have no memory of my childhood…

  • @LolaMarigold
    @LolaMarigold 2 місяці тому +2

    Wonderful insightful interview

  • @carolcollins6243
    @carolcollins6243 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for this episode. I have a niece who is married to a man who has transitioned to a woman as a treatment for alcoholism. This person was raised by an abusive alcoholic father so as a young child this man had created a female imaginary friend who he found to be very comforting and protective. When my niece confronted her husband about his alcoholism, he meditated on the issue for a month. He came to the realization that his female imaginary friend was a real person who was living deep in his core. To combat his own addiction he concluded that he needed to free this woman and let her live through him. My big concern has been for their four children. Adults can do whatever stupid things they want to do so long as it’s not illegal and not harming anyone else. But in this situation are there people who are being harmed?

    • @S2023.
      @S2023. 2 місяці тому +1

      Exposure to an alcoholic parent is harmful. Will your neice remain married and will husband now identifying as a trans woman be able to focus on the children's needs over their own process. I bet not.

  • @ienekevanhouten4559
    @ienekevanhouten4559 2 місяці тому

    Wootwoot! I am really interested in this, for personal reasons. Learning to be more discreet in my old age. Thanks so much for everything you do.

  • @labeaulieu2465
    @labeaulieu2465 2 місяці тому +3

    How about exploring how trans women often are partnered with disabled dependant woman who can not leave their caretakers? Is this deliberate preditory behavior or a form of love or a healthy matching?

    • @GlasPthalocyanine
      @GlasPthalocyanine 2 місяці тому +3

      You'd also have to look at how the definitions of disability have broadened. Most of the transwomen that I know transitioned before 2000. They transitioned much later in life and all had been married. I say had been because these transitions began after their wives died (and/ or any children were grown up). It's almost a cliche that, at a time when everyone was normalised into the idea that they should be married, transwomen (and some gay men) were drawn to partners who were older. Older women and disabled women were not thought of as sexual in the mid to late 20th century. So, maybe more of a partnership with men who weren't very sexual, or heterosexual?

  • @user-rv7ph1jl5y
    @user-rv7ph1jl5y 2 місяці тому +5

    We need to start a gender anonymous 12 step group.

  • @saffy565
    @saffy565 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you. Fascinating aspect of AGP's that I hadn't thought about. How do we get this info out there? I know a young girl (16 now) whose father has came out as trans 2 years ago. In my naivety I thought she would take it better because she is lesbian. She didn't. Every day's a school day.

  • @nicoledickens2366
    @nicoledickens2366 2 місяці тому +2

    32:26 NPD can't be cured. However trans can be prevented by teaching kids feminist analysis and explaining patriarchy, both the good and bad of it and the effects on both sexes. We must take a feminist anthropological look at society (insert James and Peter's not alls).
    Similarly with all culture bound disorders explaining the sociological reasons and giving kids a meta cognition to analyze themselves and society is still vital and despite the mental health graft, still isn't be taught well.

  • @laurarivero-fisher3128
    @laurarivero-fisher3128 2 місяці тому +1

    Emma, you are also a FEARLESS protector. I love you deeply…

  • @user-rv7ph1jl5y
    @user-rv7ph1jl5y 2 місяці тому +3

    What does Emma suggest we do for family and friends who are suffering with this experience. I know several people who are very isolated and traumatized.

  • @lydiam-j986
    @lydiam-j986 25 днів тому

    Emma is amazing.

  • @mackturtle2335
    @mackturtle2335 24 дні тому

    I breastfed all four of my babies till they were three years old, and I didn’t find I needed to modify my diet much at all. Sure there are things to be mindful of, but not near the way we should be careful while pregnant.

    • @BCapStarR335
      @BCapStarR335 19 днів тому

      Each child’s tolerances vary. My son was fussier and gassier when I consumed caffeine and cruciferous vegetables.

    • @mackturtle2335
      @mackturtle2335 19 днів тому

      @@BCapStarR335 it’s good to be mindful, and you are so right that each baby is different. It is also the case that many women don’t breastfeed because that think they will have to be too restrictive. Most mamas won’t need to modify their diet much at all:-)

  • @jac9366
    @jac9366 2 місяці тому +2

    I think you would all find it interesting to listen to Benjamin Boyce's interview with a man struggling with his AGP and his struggle not only to understand his condition, but then inability to get what he views as appropriate treatment unless he identies as trans, which he has cone to disagree with, but finds he has to do to obtain the medication which keeps his life manageable... 29th May 2024 The Anguish of AGP

  • @ageofraya
    @ageofraya Місяць тому +1

    Chemo drugs are fully contraindicate in lactation, whether or not the person is lactating! How incredibly dangerous this stunt was. Infuriating.

  • @dreimalnein22
    @dreimalnein22 2 місяці тому +3

    reminds me of one daughter in a similar setting who wrote a book, who told us (i think at Transparency or Benjamin Boyce) how her father opened up on his death bed about his doubts and thoughts he might have destroyed his family. I once looked/listened for it again but didn't hear it. It wasn't Cath Loyd in EP64 of Transparency... I have the feeling it might have been Emma Thomas 3 years ago, the daughter had a similar nuts childhood situation. But at Minute 34 it seemed her father is still alive. Who was it..? I didn't find an older Interview with e.g. Benjamin Boyce...

    • @Serin-ee6no
      @Serin-ee6no 2 місяці тому +5

      Maybe "My Father, Transwoman" from the channel "Women's Rights Network" here on UA-cam. I also remember that little death bed moment, i actually randomly think of it ocasionally, although i don't remember the rest of the interview that well.

    • @dreimalnein22
      @dreimalnein22 2 місяці тому

      @@Serin-ee6no yesss, it must have been this one! Thank you so much, dear Serin - I have the same reoccurring memories. It's such a deep argument in Emma's so touching experience with distant resemblances to my own upbringing like some of Joe Burgo's young AGP case descriptions and also the childhood and story of Call Me Sam who detransitioned after 25 years, who's father was also trans, and who has three gems of dialogues with Cori Cohn published here on UA-cam.

    • @littleboots9800
      @littleboots9800 2 місяці тому

      ​@@dreimalnein22Call me Sam's father was trans too? Wow, I mustve missed that somehow.

  • @ailuyb
    @ailuyb 2 місяці тому +8

    I wish this interview was longer and you asked Emma more detailed questions about what it was like to grow up in this kind of household. Or just let her tell her story without being constantly interrupted by Stella.

  • @ditta7865
    @ditta7865 2 місяці тому +2

    The more and more I hear about these men and this condition. The more my black and white thinking goes that people with certain disabilities and mental illness even though I have a disability, should not have children and people with certain conditions where they're so selfish should also not have children. It seems we're creating a generation of trauma and hurt for these people when they should be having a safe loving household.
    The same for if these people have partners they should never be able to marry or have anyone because all it is is about abuse and control.

  • @oliverhug3
    @oliverhug3 2 місяці тому +1

    Great episode.

  • @mikedowning4869
    @mikedowning4869 2 місяці тому +2

    22:00 SHAFT ? Now I've heard it all 😅

  • @NickyM_0
    @NickyM_0 Місяць тому +2

    We are living in such a weak and sick society.

  • @linzilou3714
    @linzilou3714 2 місяці тому

    This is a very important interview.

  • @goodgrief888
    @goodgrief888 23 дні тому +1

    What’s that typing sound in the background? It’s so loud it was very distracting

  • @billmartins5545
    @billmartins5545 2 місяці тому

    I once was friends with a middle aged AGP when I was barely an adult. He had three young kids and a dysfunctional marriage. I wonder how the kids turned out. I now see he was a very selfish person with how he treated his family, but to me, at the time, he was a really good friend.

  • @Aljobritt
    @Aljobritt 29 днів тому

    Thank you for the video😊

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +3

    Seems like someone would put some resources in to how to keep men from developing AG to begin with….. that could be helpful….. 30:31

    • @pixie3458
      @pixie3458 Місяць тому

      May be a role for father's, as it typically starts in early adolescence via masturbatory fantasies

  • @nicoledickens2366
    @nicoledickens2366 2 місяці тому +1

    44:30 my sister, who can't have children, experienced lactation drop from my children just through contact; and some fathers do experience Couvade Syndrome. If there are babies humans will feed them.
    (But yes, they tell women to not take anything -even to avoiding spicy food-yet men doing only-fans with a baby is just A-okay. Retched.)

  • @nicoledickens2366
    @nicoledickens2366 2 місяці тому +1

    25:09 I experienced this as the little professor/Jesus preaching in the temple- and now looking back, I think this is a huge red flag for parentification.

  • @elizabethmartinez4086
    @elizabethmartinez4086 2 місяці тому +1

    Very interesting!

  • @bluedreamer6564
    @bluedreamer6564 15 днів тому

    Just want to say that "crossdressing" doesn't necessarily imply dressing sexually. I don't approve of adults dressing sexually in front of children, but also think that the very term "crossdressing" only reinforces the idea that gender really is a matter of how you dress. It should be just as fine for men to wear dresses and makeup, as it is for women not to, and that shouldn't take away from their manhood or womanhood. As long as neither are dressing provocatively around children, I don't think style should even be gender-based.

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmy 2 місяці тому +4

    All those adults around a child. 22:22

    • @celeste1421
      @celeste1421 2 місяці тому +1

      And not just any adults!

  • @christianefiorito3204
    @christianefiorito3204 Місяць тому

    I am a doctor who studied sexual medicine at the University of Berlin u der Prof. Beyer who was very skeptical towards the whole transactivism movement. But from what I learned Autogynophilia is a disturbance in sexual orientation, not identity. And like homosexuality there is not much to do. When a man gets aroused by the idea of himself as a woman thats his sexual stimulus. And you cannot change it, or surpress it just like a fetish. But you can learn to live responibly with it towards the people around you and especially your kids.

  • @sylviarogier1
    @sylviarogier1 2 місяці тому

    Love Emma!!

  • @QHarbin
    @QHarbin 2 місяці тому +1

    So, I see a warning about "Conversion Therapy" by Trevor Project under the video. I have seen ads for hormones for transgender people on other videos critical of medical transition. Who or what is responsible for posting these messages or ads on UA-cam? Can an organization target a channel like Wider Lens? Anyone know?

    • @widerlenspod
      @widerlenspod  2 місяці тому

      We have no idea. And I wish we knew a way to remove it.

    • @pixie3458
      @pixie3458 Місяць тому

      I would image that the computer program searches for 'inflammatory' tags, and automatically inserts the ad

  • @linzilou3714
    @linzilou3714 2 місяці тому

    What an amazing woman

  • @nycrae
    @nycrae День тому

    I have friends like this and I don't know what to do

  • @suzheart4271
    @suzheart4271 Місяць тому

    FYI I see a Trevor Project Ad about conversion therapy on the page.

  • @lesley-anneweir307
    @lesley-anneweir307 2 місяці тому +1

    How annoying is it that a post from the Trevor Project, a completely pseudoscientific lobby group, pops up under the videos your channel?
    I remember science so fondly. What a pity society has abandoned it.

  • @maureenparnaby1912
    @maureenparnaby1912 2 місяці тому +1

    Please list the books and authors mentioned at the end Thanks

    • @christinadodd5780
      @christinadodd5780 2 місяці тому +1

      They have links to the guest's books and websites in their header below the video.

    • @maureenparnaby1912
      @maureenparnaby1912 2 місяці тому +1

      Thanks Christina; I looked before posting but couldn’t see them. I’ll check again!

    • @Pammellam
      @Pammellam Місяць тому +1

      @@maureenparnaby1912 There is a link to episode notes where many other things are listed. Click on MORE under the video or the down pointing arrow…