Tom0911 1 second ago I'm very new to dnd(only played 3 games) and I've noticed that I tent to be quite passive and I tend to follow the group as I am not 100% sure what's going on/ what my options are and don't want to spend too much time thinking about what to do. Is this normal/understandable?
@@Tom-yp5zw I hope this finds you still gaming. By now I'm guessing you've had a number of additional sessions, and perhaps have gotten a better feel for what's going on and how to lead scenarios. Based on your question it does appear you simply lack experience and confidence. My recommendation is twofold. 1 be sure to familiarize yourself with the rules. This will give you a better understanding of how (mechanically speaking) to accomplish what you're wanting to do. 2 Watch/read/play (ie: expose yourself to fantasy material) see the examples and as you're experiencing them think to yourself (how would I resolve this situation).
@@jasonreiyn9311 Thanks for the advice, I have been doing a session per week and i am feeling much better about rules, rp ect and im even about to dm a campaign(The Freeport Trilogy) in about 2-3 weeks.
Great list, minus one part in my opinion. I completely disagree that a simply timid/quiet player is toxic. I know some players who don't do much during downtime in campaigns, don't feel the need to chime in on most conversations, may not have the deepest character aspirations, and are still fantastic to have at the table. These players are absolutely engaged, and are a joy to play with. They may enjoy the combat most, or just feel more comfortable in a less prominent role. The idea that every player must participate in the same way, and that a player taking up a seat keeps your group from being optimally enjoyable doesn't hold any weight to me. The point of roleplaying, in my opinion, is for a group of people to enjoy figuring a story out together. Player skill or playstyles are only important if they hinder that main goal.
Aaron W I think I may be the timid one. I’ve not got a lot of experience playing - but I love trying to RP my character. I’m generally shy around new people until I’m used to them (then you can’t shit me up lol) and always have been this way. So I appreciate you saying what you have. Thank you.
In one of my main groups, we have one quiet player. They definitely have more of a positive impact than negative usually, and don't cause the harm actual toxic players do, however it can make it hard to keep the party enjoying the roleplaying experience. Quiet is fine, but not being emotionally invested tends to come with it and it just diminishes the tone
Aaron W he’s not talking about the type of player you are. You’re talking about someone whose invested in the game, and still contributing, just not by much. He is talking about the more extreme version who IS toxic, that is literally doing nothing more than the bare minimum. They may as well not even be in the game level of bare minimum.
I think there is a strange stigma in the real world about introverts. Introversion isn't toxic...its a way humans deal with social situations. Not every person should be the same class...so why socially?
If I'm GMing and a player hits me or one of my players in anger or rage, they're done. Get out. Don't come back. We're here to play a game, to roleplay, and to have fun. If you pose a physical threat to me or my group, you are no longer be a part of it and never will be again. All of the other one's I'll allow at the table. Even if they are annoying, at least no one is going to get hurt. No GM should ever tolerate that kind of behavior imo.
Definitely. I know I have anger issues, but it tends to be more of the quiet rage kind of thing. I also know that taking a short break from whatever got me that angry usually helps. I'm getting flashbacks to my first attempt at dark souls.
Structure: 2:02 - What is a Toxic Player 4:45 - The Bully 6:28 - The Snark 9:06 - The Ignorer 11:06 - The Condenscending Rules Lawyer 12:16 - The GM BrownBeater 14:23 - The Jerk 15:31 - The Non-participating 17:15 - The distracting center of attention 18:35 - The Always right rules 20:24 - The timid
Reminds me of that horror story where that one rogue-fighter killed the entire equally toxic party (except himself) with a poison so deadly it nearly killed him to test it then proceeded to laugh about it.
I would like to add one kind of player to this list, The troll or the emotional abuser: The player who deliberately sets out to elicit a negative emotional reaction from another player, they are like an extreme version of the snark or the bully, they are actively trying to destroy another player's enjoyment of the game by causing them emotional distress.
Your shows should be called "How to be a Great Human". I take life lessons from almost all of your episodes even though I haven't played at a table for years now. Continue being a great Guy (sorry, couldn't resist...), you're doing an awesome job.
If you pay close attention to Peter Quill's speech, he is constantly is belittling the other guardians, make them feel as if everything is their fault. He also gets very emotional alot (example is when he find out thantos killed Gamora to get the orange stone), everything would of been fine if he didn't try and get some sort of revenge. But I love Quill, he does bring a sort of charisma to the guardians, and him being emotional just means he is very passionate. That's not to say everyone else in the guardians are emotionless trees (no offence to Groot) Every single one of them have grivences and that's what I love about the Guardians
@@kitycate210 Me too. And I love that the films themselves are aware of it, really deconstructing that "snarky anti-hero with a heart of gold" trope and showing how toxic and entitled those characters are. He doesn't get the girl, *because* he has such a sense of entitlement to other people's attention and Gamora's own affection. In universe she's aware that he's a good person with many admirable qualities, but also that he's a giant entitled baby. His feelings are clearly requited but she needs him to grow up and stop treating her like he just has to put kindness tokens in to get sex out first. I love that about both their characters. Love me a really un-self-aware flawed hero.
@@e.s.r5809 I don't think he is trying to put in the kindness tokens. I think it's that he's trying tactics that worked with one night stands. He actually brings up a really good point about Gamora in Volume 2. When she insisted he trust Ego's word about being his father, her trying to get him to back out when she's seeing him actually do that is extremely disingenuous, even if her heart was in the right place. "Hey, do this thing!....what's that? You actually did it? Well stop doing it.". That was basically what Star-Lord was hearing when he was allowing himself to be emotionally vulnerable. Star-Lord isn't some meek man trying to be passive to win Gamora, he's a player who is trying a method that worked before.
The thing is you can play a toxic character without being a toxic player, if you have the buy-in of your party members. I've got a paladin of treachery who starts out as a selfish liar who plots against other party members, because I want to roleplay her getting redeemed. I made sure that the players who'd be playing her party members all knew that I was playing a shitty character who is intended to grow, and didn't have any objections to the concept. And I'll be checking in periodically as the dynamic develops. It's all about making sure that between-character conflict doesn't become between-player conflict.
I have to say i am rather negative to lists that goes "This is the top 5 mistakes you can do in D&D" etc. and then just smear on stereotypes without further explaination, but in this instance you brought up a "term" and then defined that term by examples of traits and how they transpire rather than: "Sarcastic people are rude, and thus toxic" you expanded on the term making it feel more... human. Stereotypes is easy for *others* to notice, but if you make it feel more human, people might recognize themselves rather than brushing it off as "I am not *That* bad".
I get how these people can be an issue at the table, but with regards to the way you describe the "Non participator" and "timid", I'd like to mention that... This is likely a lot of newer players. As a newer player myself, I do find it hard to speak up, I find it's quite easy to get spoken over. I'm making an effort to fix that, but it's not really something that can be helped so easily. And sometimes people might just be too shy to speak up so enthusiastically about the actual roleplay aspect of it to begin with. Maybe they don't fully understand what they need to be doing, or maybe they don't think they're confident enough in their understanding of the situation to make the right call, and so decide it's best to just say nothing. I totally get that sometimes people with these two traits may offput others at the table, but if they get pushed aside, they'll never have a chance to gain that confidence. If it's clear that they just don't want to be there, I think it's best to just talk to them aside for a moment. If it turns out that they do, but need more encouragement, then now you know and can provide that for them.
I think it's more people who aren't invested in the story. It can break down some of the emotional tension, but I don't generally find quieter players to be problematic.
I often worry that I've exhibited toxic traits during games. I notice that my plans are often the ones to be implemented, but I make sure there's room for other people's voices to be heard & disagree with me. Another bad habit I have is to downplay my ideas by prefacing it with "I have a terrible idea". I also distract sometimes at the table; I constantly have a device on and will flip from my character sheet to other media on my phone and sometimes show it to other players (bad ADHD, BAD!). It's important to recognize your own bad habits/traits and work to fix them.
I obviously can't speak for everyone, but I'd probably find it hilarious if someone started their plan with "I have a terrible plan." Especially if said plan ends up being the best one.
I think I'm the timid to an extent as I don't like emotional confrontation as well. Saying that, I had to break out of that shell when I was GMing a game and had to deal with a toxic player. I knew I had to deal with them or the game breaks down. My players say they're proud of me for dealing with that person who was making the game miserable for everyone and it got some of the shyer players to come out of their shell and have their characters blossom.
@@Mr.Monster1984 So there was this guy who played a bard who more or less had what I like to call the 'steal it, kill it, or f*** it' mentality and generally made the other female players uncomfortable when he 'flirted' with them and tried to roll Charisma checks to seduce them. He often talked over other players and tried to do everything. I spoke to him a few times about his behaviour but he kept coming up with excuses about why he did what he did. It got to the point where my players were going to discipline him in game as he stole the deck of many things from one of the other players and hid his fortune from everyone else for his own gain. The thing that made me kick him out was when I talked to him about his interrupting behaviour and demanding he gets experience points for mundane things that don't warrant them, he got aggressive and started having a tantrum. So I simply told him since he's lashing out at me, I don't want my players to receive the same aggression when they don't deserve it. Plus, if I hadn't have diffused the situation when I did, my players would have and I think the game would have ended on a bad note. Since then, my players have been enjoying the game a lot more and some of the quieter players turned out to be brilliant both in the role playing sense and the game in general. Sure I'm still struggling to take the initiative in places but I now know I need to intervene when disagreements occur.
Remember your story telling technique: Do not say 'not'. (It is about the use of negations: Make the message more clear by unwinding negations.) Thus we get: "How to be a terrible inhumane being".
This video echoed a lot with a player at our table that was in appearance super dedicated and focused but was so self centered and trying to hog the spotlight and rule the whole game that it almost ended our one year long campaign played every week and almost ruined long time friendships at the table. (long post) Let's call the problem player "D" D knew she was the problem/toxic player, and instead of questionning herself and correcting herself, she tried to manipulate and turn the players one by one then collectively against me (the DM), and when the whole table defended me spontaneously, she refused to face the consequences and talk with all of us together and almost shattered our group's mutual trust. D was a strange player to deal with. She had no real hobbies or social interactions and a pretty relaxed/boring job so she got hooked like crazy by D&D and was invested like crazy into it (no joke, it was like 8 hours per day thinking about D&D, her character background...Etc). As she was super invested and pretty smart she quickly became a good actor and a good player to rely on as a DM (for stuff like ordering the initiative, looking for rules or some other stuff when I was busy) She was playing a lightly problematic character at the begining of the campaign because between the 2nd to 5th session she decided to betray the group and tried to run lone wolf to try to kill the party because.... "she was only playing her character"....of course her character ended up killed super easily by the group and it seemed that she had learnt the lesson. So she made a new character, telling to the table that now she won't try to screw the group anymore. So she made a cleric from the town the PC had just arrived in to facilitate the introduction to the group, and she acted as the cliché Lawful Good "group mom". We were playing in a setting based on the old Might and Magic videogame serie, I was the DM for 5 players (D and my 4 best friends, and with my friends we absolutely LOVE playing D&D with each other alongside tons of videogames and other activities) and everything was fine until we all decided to add an other player because she was a close friend of us and was watching all of our session replays and making super cool artworks and illustrations of our campaign. For various reasons, in order not to break the narrative, we agreed with the new player that she would play one of the Cleric's sons that was long gone and now working as a mercenary in the continent. The new player, let's call her A. was delighted with this idea and got super invested in her character. The other player, D, playing the Cleric, was also delighted when she was surprised by a "Mom...?!" scene. At the same time she discovered Critical Role, and started watching it almost non stop and was clearly interested in the flamboyant/acting part of RPG. But right after this session, they both got super invested in preparing a metric tons of interactions between Mom and son at the point they were spending like 3 to 4 hours per week writing stuff. And the next session...here the disaster happened...the interactions were super recurrent and were happening like 20 min scenes, with everything that needs to be done in a super flamboyant manner and not be interrupted for any reason....even by the other players. At one session I tried to keep track of the time everyone was speaking....and on a 5 hours session A and D together got more than two hours. So next session I tried to remind A and D that yeah gimmicks between son and mom might be fun from time to time but there need to be space for anyone in the group. Right after this session I got messages from D and she started (in the name of the group according to her) reproaching me that I was limiting the players in their interactions, that she was absolutely shocked to see that after 10 years of DMing and watching a lot of channels about GMing I was not letting characters develop bonds between them. That this was the reason there was absolutely no trust between the characters and that we were a group struggling to act and roleplay in character. I told her I was taking notes of that and that we'll discuss that all together at the beginning of next session to find solutions Then few days after...she started absolutely vomiting a metric ton of reproaches to me on tons of details and moment I did wrong, on how my campaign was bad and started contesting a tons of statements I made with the group about how to establish rules upon this or that situation...openly comparing our way of playing to how it's done in Critical Role and saying that she was super disappointed seeing that I was not taking advantage on her backstory that she invested soo much time into (no joke, she decided that her character had 13 childrens and she made backstory/description and character sheets for all of them). She also reproached to the whole group that no one was able to roleplay correctly or be very invested in the campaign (though my players have always been ready before the begining of every session in terms of character sheet/progression...etc) We were on a tight schedule, maybe 4 hours per week to play and all of our group members were pretty busy with jobs/life/family ...Etc so there was NO WAY I could use this deluge of informations on such a schedule while being fair to the other players. Two days before the next session, I got asked by my best friend to talk with him a moment on our D&D discord server and he told me that D was starting b*tching on me on the player's private chat and trying to return all of the table against me. After a moment we ended the discussion with my friend, he logged off and D logged in even before I disconnected and she started talking super passive agressive to me like "So...you've thought about what I wrote to you or you keep not answering directly?" I told her that I knew that she had tried to bash me and return my best friends against me and that it was totally unacceptable and that I won't let anyone abuse my trust or disrespect me this way. So if she was unhappy with how I was trying to make it fair for everyone's fun and reasons to play (other players were not all interested in acting either...one of them is a spectator player and everyone is fine with that) she had a choice: - Talk with all of us in two days at the begining of the session as planned - Become the new GM of the campaign and run it at she wants to see if DMing is as easy as she thinks - Or leave the group and find players that suit her and can invest 8 hours per day in a hobby. She instantly left the server and all the discussions we could have had on Discord Then next day it was a freakin' mess in our Discord like "Wut, D left?! What happened?", we had to setup an emergency meeting on the evening to clarify everything because she then lied to some players that asked her what happened and I think I got a natural 20 on my insight check for having decided to screenshot the whole text discussion and vomit she had sent the previous days....We got to adress collectively ALL of her reproaches and we figured out that all of us were perfectly fine with how the game was running, that we were feeling super free and not restricted in the PC's actions by my way of DMing (my signature phrase is probably "You can try if you want, it's certainly unlikely but probably not impossible"), but by D and her vindictive way of playing the Laweful good group mom withinin a neutral/chaotic good party. They even said they were disturbed by how D's character was keeping her personal quests (which when they discovered it all said "why didn't you told us about it before so we could have helped you?). Also, all the players simultaneous agreed upon the fact that there was absolute comfidence between the characters...they even gave me examples of this, like right in the first sessions the fighter who accepted to drink a nasty poison bottle at level 2 to save the whole group, or the group stopping the main quest for 3 sessions to gather crazy ingredients to cure A's character from vampirism. Unfortunately, A got really pissed of by D having left the group, so we had to wait one month before playing D&D again and two month before getting D back at the table, and we can clearly see now that she is staying at the table just because the campaign is almost over now and then she'll get back playing with D. In fact, few times she said she was unable to play with us on certain evenings and we got evidences she was playing with D instead on our table schedule. This sunday will be the grand finale of the campaign, I've planned great things for my beloved players, and despite the fact that I had an absolute blast running this campaign overall, I now realize how relieved I feel knowing this campaign, and the last bits of bitternes we feel from A, is over; and that for the next one I'll be a simple player (after almost 10 years of DMing) and we'll finally, I guess, have a perfectly sane table.
Yeah, maybe UA-cam channel hosts can be categorised into a similar system? The "Ignorer/Bulldozer" category corresponds to the "Railroader" category for GMs.
@Lars Dahl it goes way further then that. he uses the word toxic and describe many "toxic" traits, or at least "he" consider toxic... but reality is.. if there is a group, then there is a leader int hat group. there are so many players who do not know how to act in "fantasy" scenarios because those are things that would never happen in real life. so its easy to get taken in by people who seem to know where they are going in this game. exemple of a new player versus those 3 veterans at the table. whats he gonna do when everytime he try to speak, there is another guy who already said the thing he had in mind. would "i thought the same thing" really bring anything to the current situation ? the answer is no.. its ridiculous to think that players will change their way or force their way onto a group just because, hey i wanna do different then you even though i truly wanted the same thing as you.
@@dndbasement2370 - that, and the fact that there's a handful of "toxic" traits there that in some measure just come with the socially awkward nature of the geeks who gravitate toward RPGs to begin with: the wall-flowers who are just a bit too timid for sports or going to dance clubs, the sarcastic know-it-all attention-hogging nerds who couldn't hang out with a group of normies without pissing them off and getting beat up and ditched after annoying everyone, the weirdos with no filters and no sense of appropriateness who just put everyone off by saying exactly the wrong things at the wrong times and derailing discussions and other social activities with Monty Python jokes and internet memes that have nothing to do with what everyone else is focused on, etc. On the plus side, this You-Tube commentator does seem to follow this video up with a sequel that seems to be about "rehabilitating" some of these "toxic" players by filing those rough edges off a bit so they can at least game with each other without driving other geeks crazy.... I haven't seen that sequel yet and don't know how well he pulls it off, but it's at least a step in the right direction away from just complaining and ranting about, effectively, RPG players in general....
I have sadly had to eject players for being toxic to the game. I try to work with and be patient with people, but there does come a point when you have to protect the rest of your group from the player who is literally ruining the game for everyone else. Often, this can be dealt with by talking, but not always. Most people, when you point out they're doing these things, will try to rein it in. But some people won't hear it. One player I had, when I pointed out to her, quite calmly, that she was interfering with the other players agency by telling them what to do, got mad and never returned. She was a friend, and I miss her, but the game is better now.
Guy, I love how honest you are with your past. And I love how you use those bad experiences and weave them into your stories and characters. You’re advice on how to endure and overcome, both at the table and as a human, warms my heart. I’m 2 weeks away from GM-ing a game I’ve never played (dnd) with 3 guys playing a game they’ve never played (also dnd). I’m so excited and scared...hold me.
One more for you: The sulker - after a setback (often very minor) disappears into a terrible sulk, withdraws form participation, grumbles, everything is a complete pain: and any die rolls are performed slowly and grudgingly.
Our hobby is a wonderful place to learn and improve things about ourselves, with our friends. Guy’s video is a great mirror to look in and see what tweaks we need to make. For me, defining success more by the participation/engagement of my fellow players and less on “winning” has been personally helpful. These goals are not mutually exclusive; getting more participation has greatly improved our success in-game and our enjoyment. It has helped the passive players be more active. I (a more dominant player) shut up and listen more. The party now routinely discuss strategy, jointly agree on plans, evaluating outcomes after adventures, extracting lessons learned for next time. Taking a more systemic approach to table dysfunction has helped us players have a lot more fun. Very much looking forward to next week’s video!
We had a toxic player in our group. He tried to find loopholes in any rule/spells he could, pretending he knew everything better, and then always went into discussions with the DM instead of letting the DM have the last say. Punishment by Random Lightning on his character didn't help. We never did get rid of him because he was the brother of 2 of the other players, and they didn't (dare to) call him out on his behaviour.
Makes for an interesting group when ALL the players are snarky: our 50-something GM is a business executive and programmer and the rest of us are all older, five of us are physicians who all trained together.
I remember when our group used to have a player that demanded that everyone else play to their tune. My personal and roleplaying reason was to always just do what I had planned and to have my character do what they wanted instead of allowing themselves to be told what to do. We ended up parting ways with that particular player but not until several sessions of carefully explaining why we didn't like that person's play-style. I must also admit myself to being a bit of a bully to another player. Their habit was to always pick spells and want to use them, but they would never read how they spell works before the time they cast it. So during that person's turn the game would stop as that player would look up the spell they just cast. So at one point I said to that player: "look anon, the next time you cast a spell that you have to look up immediately because you don't know how it works I am going to smack you on the head." He did so I did. I immediately felt terrible, apologised to that person and everybody at the table and we continued playing. The campaign ended up a memorable one and that character especially became a legend. Sadly he died by being hacked to pieces by his comrades when he tried to betray us. Still it was fun.
I had a non-participator once and I couldn't fathom why they even showed up for the three sessions they bothered. Even tried to make them critical to the story-line but they just sat there, aside from rolling the same attack over and over. This player didn't even tell the other players what their character witnessed when their liege lord was murdered, which was critical to the plot as he was the only one who could identify who the assassin was. This one bizarre player-trait eventually led to that one assassin killing the entire party, as no one figured out what was occurring in time without that critical puzzle piece. To this date, I can't fathom what I did wrong by that player as I moved on to another town. For those wondering why I didn't re-introduce such a critical piece of the story, I was playing by some more complicated rules as the assassin was a party member. In order to ensure things progressed fairly on her secret 'what a twist' plot-line I used her 'screw-ups' as clues for the party.... and they where fucking dense that they literally needed an eye witness to work out who did it. For that eye witness to remain silent long enough for the assassin to slit his throat.... *Face-palm*
Doesn't sound like your fault, you've left bread crumbs. Only thing I'd maybe do differently is then have a different party member witness a similar situation so they can connect the dots. When they fail to do so, then it's just "your char's Int says 14 but I don't believe you," womp womp
@Daniel Payne he did it wrong still... reality is, certain players feels that secrets are for themselves alone. i had a player who literally kept everything to himself. after discussing wit said individuals, i realised what was up... he didn't care about secrets and simply dissmissed them as is his usual self. so giving that guy secret would mean he'd never tell anybody because to him it was already out of his mind. doesn't mean hes a bad player, just that he doesn't care about secrets. the problems i see here is that he never quite understood the person and "forced" his plays on that player instead of asking him what the player wanted. for all we know that player never undertood a thing of what was hapenning and just feared to tell others and thus just ran along with it. as for people not able to connect the dots... do you realise how insane that sounds coming from you ? i mean you are literally saying a person is dumb and dumber. and at that without knowing the person ? even the guy post above literally tells the same he also didn't mention anything about talking to the player to see what they wanted. he literally says he "forced" the player into doing what "the DM" wanted, not what the player wanted ? all in all to me, the problem still remains the DM because i think he didn't do the obvious solution... talk to the player first !
have you talked to the player first ? if not you skipped like 50 steps before trying to force your game onto him. players being dense... let me give you an advice... "they are not in your head !" the problem with make belief is that whats in ones mind isn't in the others. what's evident to you, is probably 50 miles away from what they have in mind. just do this small puzzle and see their results. you'll be blown away by their reasoning. ask them to give you a description of an NPC you described a few sessions earlier... you'll be very surprised by the results. certain people might even describe her in a way that is just better then what you described first. the same happens for everything else. in make belief games, people do create images in their mind and deduce what they want to. and thus it often leads to very very different things. i think instead of trying to "force" your wqay into the story, you should focus on discussing with your players and see what they desires, what they do like what they dislike. you'll be surprised by what your players will tell you. you might realise half of your group do not like political trailer or slasher like stories, which is exactly what you did. if they didn't like it, then its normal for them to not get involved. the reason they didn't tell you, might also have to be about the fact they fear to talk to the DM... many players do because they feel like, its his table i should fit in. and thats wrong... its up to the DM to talk to the players before and after each sessions to know what was wrong, if anything was wrong. there is a reason why someone might role play a lot one session and not at all the next. you should ask them about that. learn their ways and adapt your plays to them, not the inverse. that said, adapting is going both ways. it should be a 50/50. so if they forces you to adapt their way but you dont like it, you should find a way in between, something thats good for both.
I love D&D so far. IRL I'm pretty quiet. Super laid back. In D&D my Dwarven cleric is loud, aggressive, brash, distrustful, EAGER to smite the undead or those who practice evil. He uses his warhammer to smash the feet of Goblins during interrogations when his friends' tedious, lengthy lines of questioning aren't moving quick enough, and he exploits evil characters, by completing tasks in return for information before asking said evil characters why he should leave such an evil to fester in the world. D&D is awesome!!
I currently have a player in one of the group's I DM who definitely has some issues. Love the guy outside of the game, and I'd say things are fine 90% of the time, but if he gets pissed at something (or someone) look out. He is the most dedicated player when it comes to my lore, and gets really into things, which I love. The problem comes when he gets confused about a scenario, or a game rule. If he doesn't get it he will storm off swearing, and calling out other players for working against him, it's really too bad. Thanks for another awesome video Guy, keep up the good work.
I think the worst type of players are the people who refuse to play as a team. I remember playing a monster a week type campaign where we were going up a tall tower, and every floor had an encounter. In one of them we had to fight a large zombie monster of sort (I don't remember what it was) and we were a little in over our heads. There were weapons and shields scattered around and I suggested we use the spears and shields to build a tortoise formation sort of mixed with a phalanx, using people holding the shields about the people with spears to block incoming attacks, and the people with spears would stab at the monster. No one wanted to try it, and so instead they all went off on their own and we all got slaughtered. I hold firm if we had tried to work together then we could have beat the monster (even the GM said that was probably the best course of action for the situation), but instead we where all smashed to a pulp.
Another story of mine is that we have a player, who we will call Bobeth, that seemingly always played as a bunny person who was insane and carried explosives or cast spells that (in all honesty) where completely overpowered. When I say he always played that character, I mean it. I was Gm'ing a campaign that I had worked very hard on (my first campaign actually), and the players had entered a new town and we're exploring. Bobeth entered the bar and (for some reason) decided to turn the bar keep into a woman. He demanded to be turned back and eventually ended up giving Bobeth some booze in exchange. Bobeth turned him back, but them turned his head into that of a donkey. The barkeep then gathered two of the mercs in the bar and the three attacked Bobeth, taking the fight outside. Pretty soon guards showed up (three of them) and the pretty effortlessly cut down Bobeth where he stood (he did manage to kill the barkeep however). The only reason he didn't die was another party member used guild funds (an amount of money set aside for use as their guild treasury) to pay a sort of bale, and to buy back a powder rifle the guards had confiscated. Bobeth was actually one of the same people who turned down the tortise/phalanx plan I had in the tower campaign, so maybe he is just shit at planning.
I used to make characters that took space, usually dashing warrior types with short attention span. That or unique or quirky characters. But gradually it dawned on me that not only did this tend to somewhat derail the ongoing adventures, it also could be percieved as annoying and disturbing. In short, it doesn't rhyme well with being a collaborative effort and striving in the same direction. So i started to tone it down. I'm still attentative and follow everything closely, i just tend to let others decide and take initiative, and i dont make my characters as disruptive, quirky or unique, more subdued (But not the "I'm hiding shit and being dark" trope silent type). And it works very well now i must say.
The thought of someone getting angry and standing up and slapping another player with a book (in my mind) is a funny thought. Not if it actually happened. Really. I swear I wouldn't laugh. I PROMISE I WOULDN'T LAUGH.
Depends on how it's done I guess. If everyone is in on the joke, it can be really funny. But if someone is actually angry and beating people with their (often quite thick) rulebooks, that would be pretty scary.
When it happens, it's a serious situation, and we're gonna have some words. I'll admit that I probably will laugh afterwards. I might wait until I'm alone for that.
When I was watching the video and he brought it up, I laughed, if only out of shock at imagining that actually happening. If it did happen to me or someone at the table, I'd probably be mildly terrified.
As a brand new player, I'm taking in as much as I can. As someone who psuedo-DMs other board games with friends(just running them and doing anything that the other players shouldn't necessarily have to) I also look for a lot of advice on DMing. As someone who might try to properly DM at some point, I do the same. That being said, I don't think it's an issue for players to read the monster stats outside the game. I haven't gotten completely through them, but the 3 books I have access to for D&D have some enemy stats in them. You can bet I'm gonna be reading them eventually. I'm trying to learn as much as I possibly can so I don't have to look stuff up at the table. But, even if I know this enemy's health or that enemy's strength, my character won't. Our DM could always tweak those stats anyway, and I'd have no idea.
Honestly I agree I have a player who keeps saying oh I have slayed this before so my character should know these things and looks it up while I'm running the encounter -,- makes me mad.
I've recently had to let my last group go. I just had to end the game and group despite being in the same group for over two years. I started up with a new group and I have never been happier. I never realized just how miserable I was. 4 of the 6 players were, to be as blunt as a Luzerne Hammer, terrible. I felt bad for the two good players, but speaking with them. They were just as frustrated. So if you'll indulge me, I'll call them Player Bobs to avoid any actual names. - Player Bob #1: Mr/Ms Tardy. This person was a great player...when they were there. Sometimes they are on time, sometimes they are late, sometimes they can't make it. No email. No text. No message. - Player Bob #2: The always right rules lawyer from the Pits of Hell. Oy. I don't mind when someone tries to question me as a GM. I make mistakes. I'm human. But I like to look at this from a legal court perspective. Judge rules. Lawyer objects. Judge says overruled or sustained. You move on. But when the lawyer argues and argues and argues. Thats when it's a problem. The thing is he once made an argument that was blatantly wrong. But I let it go and had him right down his reasoning in the chat. He did. I then put in an NPC ape orically to do what he just did and magically he argued against what be just did. Kind of d*** move on my part, but I needed to show him what he was doing. - Player Bob #3: The amnesiac. There are lots and lots of rules in these games. So forgetting a rule is not a problem. But when you forget the rule on session 2, and again on session 3, and again on session 4, etc. That's when it goes from being forgetful and it becomes intentional. The Bob was playing a Rogue and for some reason thought a good steal roll was the the sane as being practically invisible. I lost count on the number of times I had to correct them. - Player Bob #4: I call this one the Corporate Rules Lawyer. They know how to manipulate the rules. This one asks question after question. Which I normally don't mind this. In fact, I welcome it. That's usually a sign of someone who is engaged. But this one asks questions not to find out information. But to try and trip me up, or to specifically find a loophole that they could exploit. This one was more of a minor annoyance IMHO. Sorry for the long rambling post. But I thought I would share the problem group that I just had. Now I fully admit that this problem was, do a degree, because if me as a GM. I don't like being a No GM, so I was letting things slide until they got to the point where the game became unplayable. So then I started putting my foot down and they didn't like it and kept co ringing their bad behavior. And so I had said I had enough. And that was the end of that group.
I think 6 players, alone in its number: So many players for one GM, is not an easy task to handle. Did you try to evaluate the situation with the players (The bobs)? And/Or ask them for help? (Even troublemakers can become helpful, it is about finding good way to ask!)
From what I heard, 6 players is often the soft limit but far from impossible. Mind, I've never GM'd, so this is all third-hand information. I also know a Bob #3 from my board game group and GOD can they drive me up the wall. They mean well and are genuinely enthusiastic about the game, but when you have to explain them the basic rule of the game (which they really like and want to play!) every single time you play, it can get maddening. It also slows the game down, which is extra bad when you already play a slow game.
6 isn't actually too bad. The trick with a larger group is making sure that every player has a chance to shine. IF you ever have a player asking, "Why am I even here?" then you've got a problem.
As I mentioned in my reply to sander. 6 isn't actually too bad. But yes. I did try and mention to each of the Player Bobs that there was an issue. I went to them privately through Discord (our communication method of choice) and explained that what they were doing was an issue. The thing is, it actually got better...for about two weeks. Then they were right back at it. What's worse is we were together as a group for a long time. When I ended that group and that game. It was clear to me that my choices were to become a hardcore NO GM, or just cut it off and move on. I felt that I had to choose the later. And frankly, I'm a happier GM for it. My new group is OUTSTANDING. I actually look forward to playing now.
Player: "I'm following the party." DM: "The party is shopping, what're you shopping for?" Player: "Hm? Oh, nothing. I'm fine." Proper DM: "Roll Perception" (vs npc stealth, because pickpockets go after easy marks who aren't paying attention).
@Emperor Blobby This. So much this. Let's face it: Some players will be wallflowers. Yet they will always show up on time to every session. They're still having fun even if they're not all that engaged. Maybe they're just an audience for everyone else's shenanigans and your own story. Don't punish them for that.
I'm very new to dnd(only played 3 games) and I've noticed that I tent to be quite passive and I tend to follow the group as I am not 100% sure what's going on/ what my options are and don't want to spend too much time thinking about what to do. Is this normal?
Guy, this video is instantly one of my favorites of yours. It's much more constructive than others I've watched on your channel about players and DMs and while this half doesn't provide possible solutions, it still provides good food for thought in a non-combative manner.
I was usch a browbeater last session. Though... we all got frustrated over not being able to defend ourselves from flying projectiles in any way (from homing poison arrows to flying salt shakers).What I got so upset about was that my mechanical servent died AFTER checking the room with detect magic. No magic there, except after my servant evaporated out of thin air by a magical scale. Rest in pieces, my little wolf spider.
Because I'm a pretty big dude who's a bit easily annoyed by unwelcome stimuli, my group do tend to find me intimidating, unintentional though it be. Usually I just joke about the fact that I haven't even got it in me to throw a convincing punch at a person doing a self-defence demonstration, much less a fellow player. When it comes to hurting another person deliberately, something in me pulls me back and I'm flat out unable to move, and I off-handedly remark on this if somebody seems to think I might do something to them. I should probably be playing a Goliath barbarian who's a total papa wolf to the party, namely I should roleplay being immensely vicious to the enemies, but be fatherly, protective, and mellow with the party.
Damn, watching this, I recognise that I am heading down the "centre of attention" route. I'll work on that. I also recognise some of these player types in my game. Thanks for the video, it's going to help me grow as a person, be a better GM, and a better player.
Only the bad paladins. Pretty easy to make a paladin who doesn't do that. Especially if you make sure the overall goals and alignments of the characters are reasonably fitting, which you should be doing anyway unless you're intending to run a PVP game.
To be fair I play as a paladin and I’m also a oath of Redemption paladin. And so far I feel I’ve played him true to his character which means he follows his beliefs but also realizes that not everyone is like him. And hasn’t had the same life as him. He was a criminal at one point. And a very nasty one at that. So he definitely understands everyone is drastically different. He definitely preaches about being more peaceful but also realizes that violence is definitely necessary in certain situations. But even then he doesn’t fight to kill out right. He never does. He fights to protect. So when a person in the party talks about violence. He does his usual talk. “We would ultimately work towards a peaceful solution but if not it’s not the end of the world.” Type of thing.
I’ve been watching some of your videos and they’ve really helped me feel better about everything. Recently I’ve been playing my first real DnD session but I’m starting as GM and yes I’ve messed up and I learn as I go using the adaptive method with a home brew world and I’ve tried hard to make it fun for everyone give unique scenarios etc etc but being somewhat timid I’ve been and I won’t be scared to say this but players in my sessions have brought me to tears being many of the things in this video calling every decision I’ve made trash and all that fun stuff having to end early when two or more gang up on me knit picking at every flaw I make or everything they don’t agree with ÚwÙ and sorry to be long with this just bleh, an example of this would be a random lvl 20 npc the players ran into they started to lie failing checks and aggroing him slowly until they attacked and I told them prior to not attempt it cause he was higher lvl with amazing equipment and after trying to fight they would slowly get taken out and complain saying I didn’t give them enough options or I’m being too op with my enemies them even knowing what he’s doing his background and why he’s strong all this stuff and they kept making him made and idk how to deal with them complaining about mr saving them, or putting encounters they mess up purposely and complain when it doesn’t go their way, that’s all I’ll ramble
I feel like I have to disagree on the "Non-Participator". Yes, the "space at the table" could be "allocated" to a more active player. But, at least in my experience, these people are often at the table because its a group of friends playing and they are a member of that group. In that case, watching streamed games is obviously no "solution" either. They don't actively "hurt" the game either: They don't stop anyone from having fun or otherwise negatively affect the game of the others. In fact, they may even play a vital role in keeping the group of players together on a social level if some of them prefer very different playstyles than others. Of course, a group entirely made up of "Casual Players" (as this type of player is called in "Robin's Laws of God Game mastering by Robin D. Laws), the group will not function. But simply labelling this behaviour as truly "toxic" seems very wrong to me.
You are absolutely right! However, as a GM, sometimes it's irritating when you ask them what they want to do and they just copy the actions of other players or say they don't know. In that particular moment, the story doesn't advance. But I would never leave the person out of the group because sometimes, they come up with amazing stuff when you least expect it.
If you dont mind here is some advice that helped me. Start asking what their character thinks or feels about things and they may start opening up. How does X make your character feel what do they think about Y now what would your character do or act given that. You as a GM know their background as well use that as well as long as your not given anything away. And slowly they just start doing it naturally. Sometimes... It is hand holding but with new or casual players I have found it works quite well. And when those player come out of their shell it be quite fun!
Agreed. It's not something you generally want to encourage, but it certainly isn't behaviour that actively ruins it for other people. The GM might be miffed that they don't engage with the game, but by that point they're getting angry because someone isn't enjoying their entertainment correctly. I can sympathize, but "toxic" also seems like a very problematic description.
@@Healermain15 I totally agree. This particular behavoiur can't be considered toxic because it doesn't ruin the game ... except if you have a few of those in a single group. The one person I was thinking about is very shy, but he is the funniest guy in the group because he sometimes delivers when you're not expecting it.
Watching this video makes me realize that I do sort of fit the definition of 'The Snark' in real life. I am a somewhat snarky and sarcastic person. Though going back and watching recordings (yeah one of our guys records our sessions), I notice that I don't really do that when game time comes, or when it comes to our campaign. I feel like.. like I want this to be a group story, a story that we as a group create. I don't want this to be **MY** story alone, nor do I feel like anybody (even the GM) should feel like this is "MY story." I find myself often going 15-20 minutes without saying a thing, just to let the other players unfold the story, talk among each other and even with other NPCs. I find myself only jumping in when nobody else knows what to say, or when my character is spoken to. It's interesting how I can watch this video and go "Shit, is that me?" and then go back through video to spot instances of myself so I can know for sure that I'm not just over-exaggerating things.. and realize I find none of it.
I can't believe I'm just now discovering this channel! I love all the info and discussion. I especially love how this popped up after reading some pretty ignorant comments on CR for their recent (as of today) episode (93). And I'm laughing because as he's describing each type of Toxic player, I'm thinking "Yep. That's what that commenter comes off as...and oh, that one for that other one for sure." LOL! But aside from that, I plan on rewatching this the day I finally find a group to play again with because I don't want to be a toxic player!
Ah, this makes me think about one of my players who used to be non-participator and timed slowly starts to bloom. he used to say nothing, even when asked what he does he would just say "i follow... this groupmember", looking at his phone and in those few times he wanted to say something, he was so quite, usually ppl wouldn't hear it. now, 10 levels later, he found a charakter that suits him, he can roleplay it, he can enjoy the abilitys, his charakter has preferences and hobbys. i no longer have to ask him how he spends his free moments. he starts to say these things by himself and not just plain say it but uses his bodylanguage. It is so great to see such development. he also enjoys our rounds a lot more by now.
I definitely tend to turn into a non-contributor or a timid when confronted with an ignorer... unfortunately, both in games and in the real world. I struggle when it comes to trying to jockey for speaking room, so I tend to just shut down if I get bulldozed enough times in a session. Having that issue with a player in a current Adventurer's League campaign right now... I can be a few words into a sentence, and this guy will just appear out of nowhere. After a few times, that's pretty much it for me that game.
The term "toxic" when applied to humans means the persons named such are injurious to other people. Naming someone toxic makes you injurious to others. Have fun with that. Actually, I don't think anyone that is willing to call people toxic is capable of fun, only narcissism.
Helpful vid. I hope you or another insightful D&D channel covers the issue of the "Heal Sponge." Whenever they get hurt below 50% HP, they tell the cleric how to play their character by shouting HEAL ME I have a player who is wonderful, but has a bad habit when she's getting beaten up in a battle. She shouts for her sister playing the cleric to HEAL HER NOW. Last session, I told her thrice that our cleric knows how to do her job, and that we can offer other players suggestions, but ultimately clerics don't have to only heal. I also kindly, but firmly, reminded her that she is a bard and has access to healing, and if it's such a big concern, she should use those spells more. The other players laughed and yelled "GOT 'EM!" Hopefully, she's learned :^ )
I am admittedly the "always right" and I did become the GM, and in doing so I learned that I was not always right. Probably the best advice in the video.
I tend to gravitate towards the Centre of attention category, I try really hard to not do it though as i know it's a problem i have... i usually say after i've talked or felt like i was the only one doing anything for a few minutes "would anyone else like to do anything? i've kinda been talking or doing alot of stuff and i'm fine with taking a more supporting role for a bit" Or something to that effect.,which i think helps me not come off as a spotlight hog...hopefully anyway, hard to tell sometimes.
i do this too. especially when I'm playing my bard. but i often stop and ask if anyone else wants to talk or do something or something else. but my party is usually pretty passive when it comes to role-play so they often don't mind. I still like to make sure more often than not
I like rule lawyer players. I have a very good memory for rules and I am a strategist as a player so I like it when my players do the same, but I see how it may be annoying and intimidating for some people who dont like strategy
Woowee, did we have a non participator for a LONG time in our group. He played a thief and would always just hide out and stay behind. He'd never fight, talk, or contribute to the group. It was like he just wanted a character sheet with a high level.
I used to be the groups only rouge who would steal things. our other rogue doesn't (Don't know why) and we were in a heated battle with around 20 guards in full plate armor. Well, as a rogue my damage output isn't great. however, we had someone in our group who (when it was my turn) looked at me, and said. "well, you're the rogue so, you're useless here. You can't hit hard enough to even do anything so just move out of the way so I can hit them." I was beyond pissed! however, I smiled and ran close to three of them. I held out my ring of distraction and forced their attention onto the ring so they couldn't move. I used my other ring (a ring of metal melting) to turn their metal helmets into red hot burning magma. I was then surrounded by five of them, and as a reaction, i used a bag of disappearing dust to turn invisible, run away. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE A ROGUE.
I've been very lucky in my choice of players. Most have been longtime friends or close to them. I've actually only dealt with the timid and bully ( rare ). Timid I find is very workable. I encourage them by including them more easily in a situation, such as limited suggestions to draw them out. To some the idea of " I can do anything? " can be overwhelming at first. And also " no I dont need you to do a character's voice, just tell me what you'd like to do or say " . That in itself takes a lot of pressure off. We're not all voice actors. After they become comfortable I find true timid people start to open up and venture out. The Bully always gets tossed. As for the rest I'm definitely interested in seeing part 2 of the video. Great rant control by the way. ☺
Love the videos! they've really helped in my DM training XD watching this reminded me of a Mega toxic player I had I used to love playing in this one group a few years back, but another player started to become super toxic and when I asked the Gm to see if they could talk to them I thought it would help. Instead the player targeted me and another who had asked. It made games really uncomfortable and the party broke apart. Fast forward a year, and TP wants to DM and gathers the gang back together. Things go as expected: DM wants a party of 8 but doesn't want to deal with that many characters, he wants the players to create EVERYTHING ( the map, the gods, kingdoms, ect.), doesn't plan for sessions and just makes up vegue descriptions, there's no story, and the combat is not leveled at all ( first game TPK due to random encounter table for lvl 8 and up.... we were lvl 1). Then I take up the role of DM after said campaign ended badly, and TP demands to play and at this point I was actually afraid of TP and the influence they had over the other players. Cut to me being belittled and ignored while TP recites every 5e book at me because i forgot how many feet the barbarian could jump... Sorry for the rant but I just wanted to express that damage a toxic player can inflict ( in my case, at least)
I love my characters. They are my children. But I also dont care if they die. Why? Because it's part of the fun. There are some characters I'm not okay with dying though. One being a character I've had for 17 years now who grew up with me. Hes too close to my heart. Another reason is if the character had no growth before their death. When they die before they could grow as a character or impacted someone or something in some way, or something like that, it feels like a waste of a character. (I also draw my characters and campaigns a lot and drawing all that emotion for death scenes is fun)
Great video, it's good that you remind people that we can change toxic players. I think most people when starting have some toxic element in them, I remember when I was younger sometimes I could be a rule lawyer and a GM browbeater, nothing that would ruin games but sometime I could be annoying, and I'm glad that my first GM corrected me on that. " If you sit down you most people and explain the situation they will change their actions to be less toxic on the game, but sadly there are times that people won't accept change. In all my time as GM I had to kick out just one player from my games, he was a mixture from "The always right" and "The Snark", he was playing a paladin and he would interfere with everybody actions, most of the time strong arming in game the other players to do and act the way he wanted, I tried at first talking with him since we all were friends about the way he was making the game less fun for everybody, but he didn't change and I had to throw him out of the group one day after he started a fight with another player for not acting in the game the way he wanted. TL;DR: We should always try to reason with our players, but sometimes assholes can't be changed.
The example you used for the Always Right made me think actually. So nothing can gain energy from nothing, so if the plant doesn’t get energy from photonic particles or whatever, what if it gains energy and grows from the connotations that people give darkness? So it feeds off of social energy. It gives it an interesting mechanism that you can leave as is or expand on, making them enemies maybe as the thoughts associated with darkness are often related to danger. You could even go so far as to say that they only show up in specific places where there are enough people for them to feed from but not so many that people feel safe in darkness. Then again, I’m probably overthinking things because I’m a bit of an Always Right, though I try to use it to help ideas grow rather than to just say no.
Ran into two toxic 'ignorer' players in a game with a new GM. They decided to make decisions outside of the game and then immediately act on them during our sessions. They thought they knew the best thing to do and/ or always wanted their way. They didn't talk to anyone to see if the decisions were okay, or if they would work for the campaign that the group was doing. "ignorers don't always look the way you think they will. Sometimes, they won't bring things up in the game, they'll do things outside of it and try to slip them in.
Watching your videos have helped me with putting together characters. Helps with making things that make sense and sound good in context for in game play, and etiquette to help make games go as smoothly as possible, for better or worse.
Has anyone ever experienced the “jealous player”? Someone at the table has a heavy hitter who has good plans, they aren’t over bearing they just have good ideas that other players usually go with… their character often leads the charge because he’s a heavy hitter…. But the “jealous player” is openly belligerent to the group following him, just in spite. The mission is to break into the tower, everyone is waiting to bust down the door, but the jealous player is down in the market looking for random items… won’t listen when the group says “let’s go!” Just because it wasn’t his idea to storm the tower…?
I really like your videos Guy. Obviously we look at many different types of things on how to run a game too, but you also delve into the actual players and how to make it work for all of them. We really get both sides of the DM screen and I love it. Keep it up mate, it is also worth a watch.
"timid", sometimes, they are just introverts that you need to patiently, but firmly, keep forcing them to take their turn. I've had one or two folks that blossomed into great players once they got accustomed to being expected to participate. Yes, it took attention and intent which could have been focused on people that participated without continuous prompting. But, they are now great players that join in and are no longer timid players.
I do 100% agree to the timid/non participant. This hit close to the last group I played with. Taking space at the table but not bringing anything in, not an interaction, not a conversation.. bah!
I would add one more, probably the in-roleplay version of the distractor: The star of the party. We had one player like this among us. He had a solid concept, he wasn't dumb, probably quite the opposite. But no plot went by without regular incidents of figurative table flipping and discussions. He was only happy, when he could somehow shine the brightest by gathering the attention of all the other characters in the party. GM describes a group of wild raports running towards us in panic. Everyone tried to seek shelter or run away. Naturally, you would hope your character would make it out without much harm, no? Not our star. Not only did he decide his character was severly injured, he also proclaimed that if none of the other characters come to his aid in the next five minutes, his character will be dead and tried to pressure us this way to make our next round of actions about him alone. Nobody cared, especially since he was rather new to the group and well we don't do that here. So nobody jumps to his aid. Next thing you know, he gets extremely pissed and storms off, because we "killed" his character. Sadly our GM is a saint, so we put up with him for a whole year.
i whole heartedly agree the second i hear "i dont care if my character dies".... welp time for the longest slowest torture of that character ever and i will keep it alive and tell the player no you may not make a new character till your old one dies ill make you care atleast long enough to make them describe a broken terrible sequence of events that after i made them get said character out of trouble then BOOM massive damage instant death no saving rolls and then ill just throw it back at em "well you said you didnt care if they died or not" then i scatter their inventory to the winds so there is absolutely no inventory retrieval and when it comes to revivals "well like you said they dont care so they dont want to be revived"
Oh, and as a Player, I think giving others the spotlight very simple. I make sure our talents don't overlap, for starters (So I'm very good at some stuff, but never the same stuff as the others). Then, at *every* decision I look around and ask "What do you think?". When my character has an objective that he may be able to achieve, but someone else is way better (like if I have proficiency in nature and I want to extract poison, but the druid is an expert) I just go "Hey, can you do this for me? I'll help you out whenever as well!". So if you could probably do something, if someone is even slightly better, ask them. It'll shift the spotlight with ease and in a very fluid way. There are countless examples. This is a particularly good habit to exercise because it can plug many of the toxic behaviours you may have. I also like to ask the others for help on my personal objectives *once in a while* . You can't overdo this, or else the game will be too much about you. Sometimes, it's fine to just say "I'm going to search for someone who would by this poison." "Sure, make a roll" Instead of role-playing all of it. Of course, it feels good once in a while (and the first time). Oh, I rambled. Well. If you read all this, have a nice weekend.
Just an idea here... I (personally) tend toward a "Contrarian Style" of RP... I still put the effort in to play WITH the party rather than entirely against them, so it's... well, getting complicated is part of the fun. However, I set Character Goals (secretly) that are about INSTIGATING rather than Directly Accomplishing... It's a frequent contribution to tension builds and great comic relief. These "secret goals" don't have to be epic, nor campaign defining... Just stuff you think you "can" instigate... as in cause others to accomplish... If you can manage to coax a certain goal into the game, word or scene for details, then move on to the next... AND if the list runs out (or even gets low) think of new stuff to try to get done "in game"... without anyone figuring out what you're doing.{THAT is the key part} My rule is, If someone CAN guess what the hell I'm "up to"... Then the goal's no good. Either it simply becomes impossible (like trying to twist a Paladin into a malicious mass murderer) OR the Player targeted will "just play along" to make me happy... and I haven't EARNED it. These secret goals don't undermine the game. It's never "good form" to directly derail campaigns, destroy the GM's efforts, take away other Players' entertainments, or any of that... The point is just instigating others into being unwilling accomplices in "antics" around the general campaign... SO when I did twist a Paladin into a murderer... and I've perverted more than few... The bigger picture didn't rely on the Paladin, nor on the Party having a Paladin. The Paladin's Player willingly, happily, and readily did those horrible things. I only (ONLY EVER) coaxed a bit... found the right things to say... contributed the occasional "insight"... and mostly watched and applauded... Corruption can be fun! Of course, these secretive goals are best accomplished THE HELL OUTSIDE OF THE SPOTLIGHT!!! Being "Spotlighted" is the EASIEST way to get "found out" because there, the whole table is watching YOU!... SO I'm tickled to death to dance in and out of spotlights, avoiding attention as the plague... being my "usually facetious self" and RP'ing up a storm in general... ;o)
Thank you for addressing this. I'm certainly guilty of at least one. If a person could get their whole group to watch this video, and take a self-assessment, I think that it would benefit the entire group. That also depends on if the players in the group care about the quality of the game..
Roleplaying is basically improv. The #1 rule of improv is “yes, and” meaning that you do not contradict the situation you find yourself in. In roleplaying terms, this means you listen to your GM and fellow players 9 times out of 10. Don’t constantly complain about the GM’s refusal to follow your own custom rule set or your party members making mistakes. Here’s an example: one co-player in one of my games chose to play a barbarian and is constantly charging into the fight yet complains that the GM is being unfair every time that player gets attacked. A co-player in a different game believes that a certain spell should function in a different way than it does in the rulebook. The DM has told her over and over again that he’s going to stick with the wording of the rulebook and she absolutely won’t stop badgering him about it. He’s almost gotten to the point of giving up and letting her have her way, but is understandably worried about setting a bad precedent that will encourage this behavior in the future.
The non-participator doesn't have to be bad. If your just playing with a group of friends and one of them isn't super interested in the roleplaying part but just likes hanging out with friends it's perfectly fine to have someone like that. I guess it really depends on what the goal is of your group.
We have a bossy player , a cleric who is scared to fight back, a bard who wont sing or make music and a overly inquisitive wizard who will arcana check a barstool. It's a wild wild world.
Very interesting video. A lot of these are behaviours I've seen in real life as well. Probably useful for anyone who tends to get frustrated with people to see this - myself included. I know I've done some of these at one point or another in my life, but this kind of thing helps make one cognizant of just how that kind of thing happens.
This was a great video and I am really looking forward to the follow up. Our group has a timid player that is supposed to serve as the party leader. His character is supposed to be in charge, make decisions and help lead our group to victory but he is very analytical and indecisive. When he does make a decision that I'm not sure about, I will ask, "are you sure?" I don't mean to be snarky and in all honesty, am asking a sincere question, but it is enough to make him question his decision and almost always back away from it. I believe that one of the issues is that the GM for that game helped him make his character and the GM chose his own favorite class from the Rifts setting, the Cyber-Knight and sort of foisted that role upon his son without asking what kind of character his son actually wanted to play. My guess, and that's all it is, is that the GM pointed out all of the fantastic potential of the class to sell his son on the idea while failing to realize that his son's real-world personality is much closer to that of the casual observer.
As a shy kind of person, it actually took a change of character to get more into pathfinder. I'm actually stoked to play my shy, apprehensive witch. I've been checking her stats many times, Drawing her own fanart, thinking of actual things she'd say, etc. In fact, something I do for immersion (I recommend others to do it too) is I speak in whatever voice my character has. Think broken English for brutish characters. Overexaggerated please and thank you's for shy characters. I'll even write my character sheets with my character's lingo and art.
I think one of my biggest problems roleplaying is that I don't know the right balance to grab the spotlight. Although your bit about suicidal characters reminded me of something from a fairly recent playing session, as in the last year, where my paladin was literally drowning while fighting a demon, out of spell slots, and down to almost no hit points. Long story short I got knocked out and while everyone was trying to save me I started rolling up my backup in front of all of them both for practical reasons and for a gag. Is that inappropriate or not? They didn't mind and the Paladin ultimately survived, so I have a backup they've all seen me legit roll up. Also a basic table rule I bring whether I'm GM or Player is that the player characters have to have a reason to 1 be in the group and 2 be an adventurer.
Very insightful. I've been many of these, and I've seen all of them. Indeed, the very best of the best I've played with still have elements of these mixed in with them. It's nice to know what to accept and where to draw a line.
6:00 A physical bully, who liked hitting one other player in particular, actually tried to punch me during a game, once. Since at the time I was, IRL at the table, holding an honest-to-god dagger UNSHEATHED, I smiled and made a not-very-subtle point opposing his proposed action, which caused him to rapidly back off. He hasn't tried again, since. Edut: On the other side of the equation, I do tend to "live out" some of my role-playing, so I have stood up, leant across the table and grabbed the GM by his shirt while screaming into his face over an in-character argument with an NPC. We knew each other well, but I think I shocked the other players a bit. :)
It finally got to the point where we lost a player because she was a lot of these things embodied into one, and she was getting upset that the table was getting frustrated with her. It came to the point where she had to lawyer the rules, but didn't know most of the rules, then would get mad when I would prove her wrong and site what page (I'd look from my phone which would cite which page and which book) that corrects her. And then on top of it, she wouldn't do anything. Like, I'd try to take a moment in all of our games to give players an opportunity to farm some XP (because after playing a year they're only lvl 5 which is because she'd slow the game to a crawl because we'd argue every single game), but she didn't want to do anything. So other players would take simple side quests, and they'd climb levels faster than her. She got all upset with me, saying I was picking on her, and I tried to tell her multiple times she has to do something. We're still friends and I'm glad for that... but it's kind of a relief she's gone.
Want to help and change toxic players? in part 2: ua-cam.com/video/J3lC5j01Zmo/v-deo.html we take a look at how you can
Tom0911
1 second ago
I'm very new to dnd(only played 3 games) and I've noticed that I tent to be quite passive and I tend to follow the group as I am not 100% sure what's going on/ what my options are and don't want to spend too much time thinking about what to do. Is this normal/understandable?
you should be a counselor if you aren't one already sir. you make a lot of sense.
@@Tom-yp5zw I hope this finds you still gaming. By now I'm guessing you've had a number of additional sessions, and perhaps have gotten a better feel for what's going on and how to lead scenarios. Based on your question it does appear you simply lack experience and confidence. My recommendation is twofold. 1 be sure to familiarize yourself with the rules. This will give you a better understanding of how (mechanically speaking) to accomplish what you're wanting to do. 2 Watch/read/play (ie: expose yourself to fantasy material) see the examples and as you're experiencing them think to yourself (how would I resolve this situation).
@@jasonreiyn9311 Thanks for the advice, I have been doing a session per week and i am feeling much better about rules, rp ect and im even about to dm a campaign(The Freeport Trilogy) in about 2-3 weeks.
The words "Bugger off and annoy some other group!" have always worked for me.
Great list, minus one part in my opinion.
I completely disagree that a simply timid/quiet player is toxic.
I know some players who don't do much during downtime in campaigns, don't feel the need to chime in on most conversations, may not have the deepest character aspirations, and are still fantastic to have at the table.
These players are absolutely engaged, and are a joy to play with.
They may enjoy the combat most, or just feel more comfortable in a less prominent role.
The idea that every player must participate in the same way, and that a player taking up a seat keeps your group from being optimally enjoyable doesn't hold any weight to me.
The point of roleplaying, in my opinion, is for a group of people to enjoy figuring a story out together.
Player skill or playstyles are only important if they hinder that main goal.
Aaron W I think I may be the timid one. I’ve not got a lot of experience playing - but I love trying to RP my character. I’m generally shy around new people until I’m used to them (then you can’t shit me up lol) and always have been this way. So I appreciate you saying what you have. Thank you.
In one of my main groups, we have one quiet player. They definitely have more of a positive impact than negative usually, and don't cause the harm actual toxic players do, however it can make it hard to keep the party enjoying the roleplaying experience. Quiet is fine, but not being emotionally invested tends to come with it and it just diminishes the tone
I totally agree, one player I was adventuring with was still great to have around
Aaron W he’s not talking about the type of player you are. You’re talking about someone whose invested in the game, and still contributing, just not by much.
He is talking about the more extreme version who IS toxic, that is literally doing nothing more than the bare minimum. They may as well not even be in the game level of bare minimum.
I think there is a strange stigma in the real world about introverts. Introversion isn't toxic...its a way humans deal with social situations. Not every person should be the same class...so why socially?
If I'm GMing and a player hits me or one of my players in anger or rage, they're done. Get out. Don't come back.
We're here to play a game, to roleplay, and to have fun. If you pose a physical threat to me or my group, you are no longer be a part of it and never will be again. All of the other one's I'll allow at the table. Even if they are annoying, at least no one is going to get hurt. No GM should ever tolerate that kind of behavior imo.
Definitely. I know I have anger issues, but it tends to be more of the quiet rage kind of thing. I also know that taking a short break from whatever got me that angry usually helps. I'm getting flashbacks to my first attempt at dark souls.
@Jen farmer no you
@Ian Foote Why are you?
Breaking real-life laws is not role-playing.
Structure:
2:02 - What is a Toxic Player
4:45 - The Bully
6:28 - The Snark
9:06 - The Ignorer
11:06 - The Condenscending Rules Lawyer
12:16 - The GM BrownBeater
14:23 - The Jerk
15:31 - The Non-participating
17:15 - The distracting center of attention
18:35 - The Always right rules
20:24 - The timid
You're a cool dude. Thank you.
Cheers bruv
Good way to deal with toxic players:
Find four of them
Find a toxic gm
Persuade them to play together
Laugh maniacally as they tear each other apart.
Reminds me of that horror story where that one rogue-fighter killed the entire equally toxic party (except himself) with a poison so deadly it nearly killed him to test it then proceeded to laugh about it.
you would be surprised depends on the types but they can get along well but ya depends which types
Sneaky sarcastic snarks starkly snipe soul sucking sentences starting sub standard sessions
Superb!
Sensational sentance structure, sir!
(Meh, I tried.)
Sublimely serpendipudous sentencing certaining sordid statisfaction-sundering scoundrels surrounds swiftly speedrunning ser Squiggs (esquire).
Smile
Sweet
Sister
Sadistic
Surprise
Service
*SEGA!*
how long did it take for you to come up with it.
I keep thinking he is shad from shadiversity
John COLLINS I’m pretty sure he’s Shad from an alternative timeline
John COLLINS wait this isn’t Shadiversity?
I mean he gives off similar vibes, the only time the vibes match is when he's complaining about players who are timid, like dude, really?
If they did a collab together you wouldent be able to tell the differance based purely off sound
Wait, he's not?
I would like to add one kind of player to this list, The troll or the emotional abuser: The player who deliberately sets out to elicit a negative emotional reaction from another player, they are like an extreme version of the snark or the bully, they are actively trying to destroy another player's enjoyment of the game by causing them emotional distress.
Your shows should be called "How to be a Great Human".
I take life lessons from almost all of your episodes even though I haven't played at a table for years now.
Continue being a great Guy (sorry, couldn't resist...), you're doing an awesome job.
"How to Play a Great Human "
In the game & out of the game
Jeez get a room
I just realised that Star lord is a toxic player for guardians of the galaxy
If you pay close attention to Peter Quill's speech, he is constantly is belittling the other guardians, make them feel as if everything is their fault. He also gets very emotional alot (example is when he find out thantos killed Gamora to get the orange stone), everything would of been fine if he didn't try and get some sort of revenge. But I love Quill, he does bring a sort of charisma to the guardians, and him being emotional just means he is very passionate. That's not to say everyone else in the guardians are emotionless trees (no offence to Groot) Every single one of them have grivences and that's what I love about the Guardians
@@kitycate210 Me too. And I love that the films themselves are aware of it, really deconstructing that "snarky anti-hero with a heart of gold" trope and showing how toxic and entitled those characters are. He doesn't get the girl, *because* he has such a sense of entitlement to other people's attention and Gamora's own affection. In universe she's aware that he's a good person with many admirable qualities, but also that he's a giant entitled baby. His feelings are clearly requited but she needs him to grow up and stop treating her like he just has to put kindness tokens in to get sex out first. I love that about both their characters. Love me a really un-self-aware flawed hero.
The whole team is toxic
@@e.s.r5809 I don't think he is trying to put in the kindness tokens. I think it's that he's trying tactics that worked with one night stands.
He actually brings up a really good point about Gamora in Volume 2. When she insisted he trust Ego's word about being his father, her trying to get him to back out when she's seeing him actually do that is extremely disingenuous, even if her heart was in the right place.
"Hey, do this thing!....what's that? You actually did it? Well stop doing it.". That was basically what Star-Lord was hearing when he was allowing himself to be emotionally vulnerable.
Star-Lord isn't some meek man trying to be passive to win Gamora, he's a player who is trying a method that worked before.
The thing is you can play a toxic character without being a toxic player, if you have the buy-in of your party members. I've got a paladin of treachery who starts out as a selfish liar who plots against other party members, because I want to roleplay her getting redeemed. I made sure that the players who'd be playing her party members all knew that I was playing a shitty character who is intended to grow, and didn't have any objections to the concept. And I'll be checking in periodically as the dynamic develops. It's all about making sure that between-character conflict doesn't become between-player conflict.
Wasn't it my turn?
"Ya but you're stupid."
😂 I laughed so hard
I have to say i am rather negative to lists that goes "This is the top 5 mistakes you can do in D&D" etc. and then just smear on stereotypes without further explaination, but in this instance you brought up a "term" and then defined that term by examples of traits and how they transpire rather than: "Sarcastic people are rude, and thus toxic" you expanded on the term making it feel more... human.
Stereotypes is easy for *others* to notice, but if you make it feel more human, people might recognize themselves rather than brushing it off as "I am not *That* bad".
Dracoknight This is just great life advice in general, well put!
I get how these people can be an issue at the table, but with regards to the way you describe the "Non participator" and "timid", I'd like to mention that... This is likely a lot of newer players. As a newer player myself, I do find it hard to speak up, I find it's quite easy to get spoken over. I'm making an effort to fix that, but it's not really something that can be helped so easily. And sometimes people might just be too shy to speak up so enthusiastically about the actual roleplay aspect of it to begin with. Maybe they don't fully understand what they need to be doing, or maybe they don't think they're confident enough in their understanding of the situation to make the right call, and so decide it's best to just say nothing.
I totally get that sometimes people with these two traits may offput others at the table, but if they get pushed aside, they'll never have a chance to gain that confidence. If it's clear that they just don't want to be there, I think it's best to just talk to them aside for a moment. If it turns out that they do, but need more encouragement, then now you know and can provide that for them.
I think it's more people who aren't invested in the story. It can break down some of the emotional tension, but I don't generally find quieter players to be problematic.
I only began to play when a non toxic gm put his foot down at the toxic players, mainly a weeb toxic
I often worry that I've exhibited toxic traits during games. I notice that my plans are often the ones to be implemented, but I make sure there's room for other people's voices to be heard & disagree with me. Another bad habit I have is to downplay my ideas by prefacing it with "I have a terrible idea". I also distract sometimes at the table; I constantly have a device on and will flip from my character sheet to other media on my phone and sometimes show it to other players (bad ADHD, BAD!). It's important to recognize your own bad habits/traits and work to fix them.
I obviously can't speak for everyone, but I'd probably find it hilarious if someone started their plan with "I have a terrible plan." Especially if said plan ends up being the best one.
Irredeemable
@@AssassinLupus7 Usually my plan gets used, and they tend to be successful since I'm thinking about how to use our characters' strengths.
@@AsterInDis Hey, whether it's prefaced with "I have a terrible plan" or not, if it's a good plan it's a good plan.
I think I'm the timid to an extent as I don't like emotional confrontation as well. Saying that, I had to break out of that shell when I was GMing a game and had to deal with a toxic player. I knew I had to deal with them or the game breaks down. My players say they're proud of me for dealing with that person who was making the game miserable for everyone and it got some of the shyer players to come out of their shell and have their characters blossom.
What happened?
@@Mr.Monster1984 So there was this guy who played a bard who more or less had what I like to call the 'steal it, kill it, or f*** it' mentality and generally made the other female players uncomfortable when he 'flirted' with them and tried to roll Charisma checks to seduce them. He often talked over other players and tried to do everything. I spoke to him a few times about his behaviour but he kept coming up with excuses about why he did what he did. It got to the point where my players were going to discipline him in game as he stole the deck of many things from one of the other players and hid his fortune from everyone else for his own gain. The thing that made me kick him out was when I talked to him about his interrupting behaviour and demanding he gets experience points for mundane things that don't warrant them, he got aggressive and started having a tantrum. So I simply told him since he's lashing out at me, I don't want my players to receive the same aggression when they don't deserve it. Plus, if I hadn't have diffused the situation when I did, my players would have and I think the game would have ended on a bad note.
Since then, my players have been enjoying the game a lot more and some of the quieter players turned out to be brilliant both in the role playing sense and the game in general. Sure I'm still struggling to take the initiative in places but I now know I need to intervene when disagreements occur.
@@SquishyTrym you did the right thing. Thanks for the reply.
This series should be called "How to not be a terrible human being".
Remember your story telling technique: Do not say 'not'. (It is about the use of negations: Make the message more clear by unwinding negations.)
Thus we get:
"How to be a terrible inhumane being".
@@larsdahl5528 I misread this as "How to be a terrible, inhumane being" and was VERY confused.
This video echoed a lot with a player at our table that was in appearance super dedicated and focused but was so self centered and trying to hog the spotlight and rule the whole game that it almost ended our one year long campaign played every week and almost ruined long time friendships at the table.
(long post)
Let's call the problem player "D"
D knew she was the problem/toxic player, and instead of questionning herself and correcting herself, she tried to manipulate and turn the players one by one then collectively against me (the DM), and when the whole table defended me spontaneously, she refused to face the consequences and talk with all of us together and almost shattered our group's mutual trust.
D was a strange player to deal with. She had no real hobbies or social interactions and a pretty relaxed/boring job so she got hooked like crazy by D&D and was invested like crazy into it (no joke, it was like 8 hours per day thinking about D&D, her character background...Etc). As she was super invested and pretty smart she quickly became a good actor and a good player to rely on as a DM (for stuff like ordering the initiative, looking for rules or some other stuff when I was busy)
She was playing a lightly problematic character at the begining of the campaign because between the 2nd to 5th session she decided to betray the group and tried to run lone wolf to try to kill the party because.... "she was only playing her character"....of course her character ended up killed super easily by the group and it seemed that she had learnt the lesson. So she made a new character, telling to the table that now she won't try to screw the group anymore. So she made a cleric from the town the PC had just arrived in to facilitate the introduction to the group, and she acted as the cliché Lawful Good "group mom".
We were playing in a setting based on the old Might and Magic videogame serie, I was the DM for 5 players (D and my 4 best friends, and with my friends we absolutely LOVE playing D&D with each other alongside tons of videogames and other activities) and everything was fine until we all decided to add an other player because she was a close friend of us and was watching all of our session replays and making super cool artworks and illustrations of our campaign. For various reasons, in order not to break the narrative, we agreed with the new player that she would play one of the Cleric's sons that was long gone and now working as a mercenary in the continent. The new player, let's call her A. was delighted with this idea and got super invested in her character. The other player, D, playing the Cleric, was also delighted when she was surprised by a "Mom...?!" scene.
At the same time she discovered Critical Role, and started watching it almost non stop and was clearly interested in the flamboyant/acting part of RPG.
But right after this session, they both got super invested in preparing a metric tons of interactions between Mom and son at the point they were spending like 3 to 4 hours per week writing stuff.
And the next session...here the disaster happened...the interactions were super recurrent and were happening like 20 min scenes, with everything that needs to be done in a super flamboyant manner and not be interrupted for any reason....even by the other players. At one session I tried to keep track of the time everyone was speaking....and on a 5 hours session A and D together got more than two hours.
So next session I tried to remind A and D that yeah gimmicks between son and mom might be fun from time to time but there need to be space for anyone in the group.
Right after this session I got messages from D and she started (in the name of the group according to her) reproaching me that I was limiting the players in their interactions, that she was absolutely shocked to see that after 10 years of DMing and watching a lot of channels about GMing I was not letting characters develop bonds between them. That this was the reason there was absolutely no trust between the characters and that we were a group struggling to act and roleplay in character.
I told her I was taking notes of that and that we'll discuss that all together at the beginning of next session to find solutions
Then few days after...she started absolutely vomiting a metric ton of reproaches to me on tons of details and moment I did wrong, on how my campaign was bad and started contesting a tons of statements I made with the group about how to establish rules upon this or that situation...openly comparing our way of playing to how it's done in Critical Role and saying that she was super disappointed seeing that I was not taking advantage on her backstory that she invested soo much time into (no joke, she decided that her character had 13 childrens and she made backstory/description and character sheets for all of them). She also reproached to the whole group that no one was able to roleplay correctly or be very invested in the campaign (though my players have always been ready before the begining of every session in terms of character sheet/progression...etc)
We were on a tight schedule, maybe 4 hours per week to play and all of our group members were pretty busy with jobs/life/family ...Etc so there was NO WAY I could use this deluge of informations on such a schedule while being fair to the other players.
Two days before the next session, I got asked by my best friend to talk with him a moment on our D&D discord server and he told me that D was starting b*tching on me on the player's private chat and trying to return all of the table against me.
After a moment we ended the discussion with my friend, he logged off and D logged in even before I disconnected and she started talking super passive agressive to me like "So...you've thought about what I wrote to you or you keep not answering directly?"
I told her that I knew that she had tried to bash me and return my best friends against me and that it was totally unacceptable and that I won't let anyone abuse my trust or disrespect me this way. So if she was unhappy with how I was trying to make it fair for everyone's fun and reasons to play (other players were not all interested in acting either...one of them is a spectator player and everyone is fine with that) she had a choice:
- Talk with all of us in two days at the begining of the session as planned
- Become the new GM of the campaign and run it at she wants to see if DMing is as easy as she thinks
- Or leave the group and find players that suit her and can invest 8 hours per day in a hobby.
She instantly left the server and all the discussions we could have had on Discord
Then next day it was a freakin' mess in our Discord like "Wut, D left?! What happened?", we had to setup an emergency meeting on the evening to clarify everything because she then lied to some players that asked her what happened and I think I got a natural 20 on my insight check for having decided to screenshot the whole text discussion and vomit she had sent the previous days....We got to adress collectively ALL of her reproaches and we figured out that all of us were perfectly fine with how the game was running, that we were feeling super free and not restricted in the PC's actions by my way of DMing (my signature phrase is probably "You can try if you want, it's certainly unlikely but probably not impossible"), but by D and her vindictive way of playing the Laweful good group mom withinin a neutral/chaotic good party. They even said they were disturbed by how D's character was keeping her personal quests (which when they discovered it all said "why didn't you told us about it before so we could have helped you?). Also, all the players simultaneous agreed upon the fact that there was absolute comfidence between the characters...they even gave me examples of this, like right in the first sessions the fighter who accepted to drink a nasty poison bottle at level 2 to save the whole group, or the group stopping the main quest for 3 sessions to gather crazy ingredients to cure A's character from vampirism.
Unfortunately, A got really pissed of by D having left the group, so we had to wait one month before playing D&D again and two month before getting D back at the table, and we can clearly see now that she is staying at the table just because the campaign is almost over now and then she'll get back playing with D. In fact, few times she said she was unable to play with us on certain evenings and we got evidences she was playing with D instead on our table schedule.
This sunday will be the grand finale of the campaign, I've planned great things for my beloved players, and despite the fact that I had an absolute blast running this campaign overall, I now realize how relieved I feel knowing this campaign, and the last bits of bitternes we feel from A, is over; and that for the next one I'll be a simple player (after almost 10 years of DMing) and we'll finally, I guess, have a perfectly sane table.
Have you posted this to the RPG Horror Stories Forum? Sounds like the right place for it!
How to make a toxic character: Select Green Dragonborn.
And be an alchemist.
I feel attacked... though I play as a green half dragon... Still feel attacked though
Best pun lmao
got 'em
Reptile Wins. Animality.
Hah! I couldn't tell if you skipping the ignorer was deliberate or not.
how about The Non-Participator being barely visible during the video.. And the Timid completely absent? ;)
Yeah, maybe UA-cam channel hosts can be categorised into a similar system?
The "Ignorer/Bulldozer" category corresponds to the "Railroader" category for GMs.
@Lars Dahl it goes way further then that. he uses the word toxic and describe many "toxic" traits, or at least "he" consider toxic... but reality is.. if there is a group, then there is a leader int hat group. there are so many players who do not know how to act in "fantasy" scenarios because those are things that would never happen in real life. so its easy to get taken in by people who seem to know where they are going in this game. exemple of a new player versus those 3 veterans at the table. whats he gonna do when everytime he try to speak, there is another guy who already said the thing he had in mind. would "i thought the same thing" really bring anything to the current situation ? the answer is no.. its ridiculous to think that players will change their way or force their way onto a group just because, hey i wanna do different then you even though i truly wanted the same thing as you.
@@dndbasement2370 - that, and the fact that there's a handful of "toxic" traits there that in some measure just come with the socially awkward nature of the geeks who gravitate toward RPGs to begin with: the wall-flowers who are just a bit too timid for sports or going to dance clubs, the sarcastic know-it-all attention-hogging nerds who couldn't hang out with a group of normies without pissing them off and getting beat up and ditched after annoying everyone, the weirdos with no filters and no sense of appropriateness who just put everyone off by saying exactly the wrong things at the wrong times and derailing discussions and other social activities with Monty Python jokes and internet memes that have nothing to do with what everyone else is focused on, etc.
On the plus side, this You-Tube commentator does seem to follow this video up with a sequel that seems to be about "rehabilitating" some of these "toxic" players by filing those rough edges off a bit so they can at least game with each other without driving other geeks crazy.... I haven't seen that sequel yet and don't know how well he pulls it off, but it's at least a step in the right direction away from just complaining and ranting about, effectively, RPG players in general....
I have sadly had to eject players for being toxic to the game. I try to work with and be patient with people, but there does come a point when you have to protect the rest of your group from the player who is literally ruining the game for everyone else. Often, this can be dealt with by talking, but not always. Most people, when you point out they're doing these things, will try to rein it in. But some people won't hear it. One player I had, when I pointed out to her, quite calmly, that she was interfering with the other players agency by telling them what to do, got mad and never returned. She was a friend, and I miss her, but the game is better now.
Guy, I love how honest you are with your past. And I love how you use those bad experiences and weave them into your stories and characters. You’re advice on how to endure and overcome, both at the table and as a human, warms my heart.
I’m 2 weeks away from GM-ing a game I’ve never played (dnd) with 3 guys playing a game they’ve never played (also dnd).
I’m so excited and scared...hold me.
One more for you: The sulker - after a setback (often very minor) disappears into a terrible sulk, withdraws form participation, grumbles, everything is a complete pain: and any die rolls are performed slowly and grudgingly.
I can have Vulkans in Faerun if I want! And they’re gonna use the force to destroy the one ring!
Live long and crash an A-Wing into Mount Doom
Shoot straight, conserve ammunition, and never, ever cut a deal with a Cylon.
Our hobby is a wonderful place to learn and improve things about ourselves, with our friends. Guy’s video is a great mirror to look in and see what tweaks we need to make. For me, defining success more by the participation/engagement of my fellow players and less on “winning” has been personally helpful. These goals are not mutually exclusive; getting more participation has greatly improved our success in-game and our enjoyment. It has helped the passive players be more active. I (a more dominant player) shut up and listen more. The party now routinely discuss strategy, jointly agree on plans, evaluating outcomes after adventures, extracting lessons learned for next time. Taking a more systemic approach to table dysfunction has helped us players have a lot more fun. Very much looking forward to next week’s video!
We had a toxic player in our group. He tried to find loopholes in any rule/spells he could, pretending he knew everything better, and then always went into discussions with the DM instead of letting the DM have the last say. Punishment by Random Lightning on his character didn't help. We never did get rid of him because he was the brother of 2 of the other players, and they didn't (dare to) call him out on his behaviour.
Makes for an interesting group when ALL the players are snarky: our 50-something GM is a business executive and programmer and the rest of us are all older, five of us are physicians who all trained together.
I can just imagine your kill descriptions.
I’m getting a Grumpy Old Men vibe here.
I remember when our group used to have a player that demanded that everyone else play to their tune. My personal and roleplaying reason was to always just do what I had planned and to have my character do what they wanted instead of allowing themselves to be told what to do. We ended up parting ways with that particular player but not until several sessions of carefully explaining why we didn't like that person's play-style.
I must also admit myself to being a bit of a bully to another player. Their habit was to always pick spells and want to use them, but they would never read how they spell works before the time they cast it. So during that person's turn the game would stop as that player would look up the spell they just cast. So at one point I said to that player: "look anon, the next time you cast a spell that you have to look up immediately because you don't know how it works I am going to smack you on the head." He did so I did. I immediately felt terrible, apologised to that person and everybody at the table and we continued playing. The campaign ended up a memorable one and that character especially became a legend. Sadly he died by being hacked to pieces by his comrades when he tried to betray us. Still it was fun.
I had a non-participator once and I couldn't fathom why they even showed up for the three sessions they bothered.
Even tried to make them critical to the story-line but they just sat there, aside from rolling the same attack over and over. This player didn't even tell the other players what their character witnessed when their liege lord was murdered, which was critical to the plot as he was the only one who could identify who the assassin was. This one bizarre player-trait eventually led to that one assassin killing the entire party, as no one figured out what was occurring in time without that critical puzzle piece.
To this date, I can't fathom what I did wrong by that player as I moved on to another town.
For those wondering why I didn't re-introduce such a critical piece of the story, I was playing by some more complicated rules as the assassin was a party member. In order to ensure things progressed fairly on her secret 'what a twist' plot-line I used her 'screw-ups' as clues for the party.... and they where fucking dense that they literally needed an eye witness to work out who did it.
For that eye witness to remain silent long enough for the assassin to slit his throat.... *Face-palm*
Doesn't sound like your fault, you've left bread crumbs. Only thing I'd maybe do differently is then have a different party member witness a similar situation so they can connect the dots. When they fail to do so, then it's just "your char's Int says 14 but I don't believe you," womp womp
@Daniel Payne he did it wrong still... reality is, certain players feels that secrets are for themselves alone. i had a player who literally kept everything to himself. after discussing wit said individuals, i realised what was up... he didn't care about secrets and simply dissmissed them as is his usual self. so giving that guy secret would mean he'd never tell anybody because to him it was already out of his mind. doesn't mean hes a bad player, just that he doesn't care about secrets. the problems i see here is that he never quite understood the person and "forced" his plays on that player instead of asking him what the player wanted. for all we know that player never undertood a thing of what was hapenning and just feared to tell others and thus just ran along with it. as for people not able to connect the dots... do you realise how insane that sounds coming from you ? i mean you are literally saying a person is dumb and dumber. and at that without knowing the person ? even the guy post above literally tells the same he also didn't mention anything about talking to the player to see what they wanted. he literally says he "forced" the player into doing what "the DM" wanted, not what the player wanted ? all in all to me, the problem still remains the DM because i think he didn't do the obvious solution... talk to the player first !
have you talked to the player first ? if not you skipped like 50 steps before trying to force your game onto him.
players being dense... let me give you an advice... "they are not in your head !" the problem with make belief is that whats in ones mind isn't in the others. what's evident to you, is probably 50 miles away from what they have in mind. just do this small puzzle and see their results. you'll be blown away by their reasoning. ask them to give you a description of an NPC you described a few sessions earlier... you'll be very surprised by the results. certain people might even describe her in a way that is just better then what you described first. the same happens for everything else. in make belief games, people do create images in their mind and deduce what they want to. and thus it often leads to very very different things. i think instead of trying to "force" your wqay into the story, you should focus on discussing with your players and see what they desires, what they do like what they dislike. you'll be surprised by what your players will tell you. you might realise half of your group do not like political trailer or slasher like stories, which is exactly what you did. if they didn't like it, then its normal for them to not get involved. the reason they didn't tell you, might also have to be about the fact they fear to talk to the DM... many players do because they feel like, its his table i should fit in. and thats wrong... its up to the DM to talk to the players before and after each sessions to know what was wrong, if anything was wrong. there is a reason why someone might role play a lot one session and not at all the next. you should ask them about that. learn their ways and adapt your plays to them, not the inverse. that said, adapting is going both ways. it should be a 50/50. so if they forces you to adapt their way but you dont like it, you should find a way in between, something thats good for both.
DnD Basement Well now I want back the time I spent reading those walls of text.
@@danielpayne1597 and i wonder why you lost time answering the post if time was that important to you ?
Goddamn imma have to do a group therapy with all this knowledge because i’ve been playing with a party of toxic players...
I love D&D so far. IRL I'm pretty quiet. Super laid back. In D&D my Dwarven cleric is loud, aggressive, brash, distrustful, EAGER to smite the undead or those who practice evil. He uses his warhammer to smash the feet of Goblins during interrogations when his friends' tedious, lengthy lines of questioning aren't moving quick enough, and he exploits evil characters, by completing tasks in return for information before asking said evil characters why he should leave such an evil to fester in the world.
D&D is awesome!!
I currently have a player in one of the group's I DM who definitely has some issues. Love the guy outside of the game, and I'd say things are fine 90% of the time, but if he gets pissed at something (or someone) look out. He is the most dedicated player when it comes to my lore, and gets really into things, which I love. The problem comes when he gets confused about a scenario, or a game rule. If he doesn't get it he will storm off swearing, and calling out other players for working against him, it's really too bad. Thanks for another awesome video Guy, keep up the good work.
I think the worst type of players are the people who refuse to play as a team. I remember playing a monster a week type campaign where we were going up a tall tower, and every floor had an encounter. In one of them we had to fight a large zombie monster of sort (I don't remember what it was) and we were a little in over our heads. There were weapons and shields scattered around and I suggested we use the spears and shields to build a tortoise formation sort of mixed with a phalanx, using people holding the shields about the people with spears to block incoming attacks, and the people with spears would stab at the monster. No one wanted to try it, and so instead they all went off on their own and we all got slaughtered. I hold firm if we had tried to work together then we could have beat the monster (even the GM said that was probably the best course of action for the situation), but instead we where all smashed to a pulp.
Another story of mine is that we have a player, who we will call Bobeth, that seemingly always played as a bunny person who was insane and carried explosives or cast spells that (in all honesty) where completely overpowered. When I say he always played that character, I mean it. I was Gm'ing a campaign that I had worked very hard on (my first campaign actually), and the players had entered a new town and we're exploring. Bobeth entered the bar and (for some reason) decided to turn the bar keep into a woman. He demanded to be turned back and eventually ended up giving Bobeth some booze in exchange. Bobeth turned him back, but them turned his head into that of a donkey. The barkeep then gathered two of the mercs in the bar and the three attacked Bobeth, taking the fight outside. Pretty soon guards showed up (three of them) and the pretty effortlessly cut down Bobeth where he stood (he did manage to kill the barkeep however). The only reason he didn't die was another party member used guild funds (an amount of money set aside for use as their guild treasury) to pay a sort of bale, and to buy back a powder rifle the guards had confiscated. Bobeth was actually one of the same people who turned down the tortise/phalanx plan I had in the tower campaign, so maybe he is just shit at planning.
Bobeth defnitely sounds like a player I’d avoid
I used to make characters that took space, usually dashing warrior types with short attention span. That or unique or quirky characters. But gradually it dawned on me that not only did this tend to somewhat derail the ongoing adventures, it also could be percieved as annoying and disturbing. In short, it doesn't rhyme well with being a collaborative effort and striving in the same direction. So i started to tone it down. I'm still attentative and follow everything closely, i just tend to let others decide and take initiative, and i dont make my characters as disruptive, quirky or unique, more subdued (But not the "I'm hiding shit and being dark" trope silent type). And it works very well now i must say.
The thought of someone getting angry and standing up and slapping another player with a book (in my mind) is a funny thought. Not if it actually happened. Really. I swear I wouldn't laugh. I PROMISE I WOULDN'T LAUGH.
Tristan Magnus I imagine someone getting slapped with the DM screen.
A wooden one.
The resounding 'crack' sound in my mind is far more satisfying then it should be.
Depends on how it's done I guess.
If everyone is in on the joke, it can be really funny. But if someone is actually angry and beating people with their (often quite thick) rulebooks, that would be pretty scary.
When it happens, it's a serious situation, and we're gonna have some words. I'll admit that I probably will laugh afterwards. I might wait until I'm alone for that.
When I was watching the video and he brought it up, I laughed, if only out of shock at imagining that actually happening. If it did happen to me or someone at the table, I'd probably be mildly terrified.
If a player looks up a monster during an encounter they are cheating
As a brand new player, I'm taking in as much as I can. As someone who psuedo-DMs other board games with friends(just running them and doing anything that the other players shouldn't necessarily have to) I also look for a lot of advice on DMing. As someone who might try to properly DM at some point, I do the same. That being said, I don't think it's an issue for players to read the monster stats outside the game. I haven't gotten completely through them, but the 3 books I have access to for D&D have some enemy stats in them. You can bet I'm gonna be reading them eventually. I'm trying to learn as much as I possibly can so I don't have to look stuff up at the table. But, even if I know this enemy's health or that enemy's strength, my character won't. Our DM could always tweak those stats anyway, and I'd have no idea.
Honestly I agree I have a player who keeps saying oh I have slayed this before so my character should know these things and looks it up while I'm running the encounter -,- makes me mad.
If your playing in an online setup like roll20 or something it's pretty hard to tell if someone is doing that.
It's okay to know the stats of a monster as long as you aren't applying that knowledge in game where the character wouldn't
This is a flawed assumption that would label any knowlegeable player who doesn't look up a monster's statsheet as a cheater
I've recently had to let my last group go. I just had to end the game and group despite being in the same group for over two years.
I started up with a new group and I have never been happier. I never realized just how miserable I was.
4 of the 6 players were, to be as blunt as a Luzerne Hammer, terrible.
I felt bad for the two good players, but speaking with them. They were just as frustrated. So if you'll indulge me, I'll call them Player Bobs to avoid any actual names.
- Player Bob #1: Mr/Ms Tardy. This person was a great player...when they were there. Sometimes they are on time, sometimes they are late, sometimes they can't make it. No email. No text. No message.
- Player Bob #2: The always right rules lawyer from the Pits of Hell. Oy. I don't mind when someone tries to question me as a GM. I make mistakes. I'm human. But I like to look at this from a legal court perspective. Judge rules. Lawyer objects. Judge says overruled or sustained. You move on. But when the lawyer argues and argues and argues. Thats when it's a problem. The thing is he once made an argument that was blatantly wrong. But I let it go and had him right down his reasoning in the chat. He did. I then put in an NPC ape orically to do what he just did and magically he argued against what be just did. Kind of d*** move on my part, but I needed to show him what he was doing.
- Player Bob #3: The amnesiac. There are lots and lots of rules in these games. So forgetting a rule is not a problem. But when you forget the rule on session 2, and again on session 3, and again on session 4, etc. That's when it goes from being forgetful and it becomes intentional. The Bob was playing a Rogue and for some reason thought a good steal roll was the the sane as being practically invisible. I lost count on the number of times I had to correct them.
- Player Bob #4: I call this one the Corporate Rules Lawyer. They know how to manipulate the rules. This one asks question after question. Which I normally don't mind this. In fact, I welcome it. That's usually a sign of someone who is engaged. But this one asks questions not to find out information. But to try and trip me up, or to specifically find a loophole that they could exploit. This one was more of a minor annoyance IMHO.
Sorry for the long rambling post. But I thought I would share the problem group that I just had. Now I fully admit that this problem was, do a degree, because if me as a GM. I don't like being a No GM, so I was letting things slide until they got to the point where the game became unplayable. So then I started putting my foot down and they didn't like it and kept co ringing their bad behavior.
And so I had said I had enough. And that was the end of that group.
I think 6 players, alone in its number: So many players for one GM, is not an easy task to handle.
Did you try to evaluate the situation with the players (The bobs)?
And/Or ask them for help? (Even troublemakers can become helpful, it is about finding good way to ask!)
From what I heard, 6 players is often the soft limit but far from impossible.
Mind, I've never GM'd, so this is all third-hand information.
I also know a Bob #3 from my board game group and GOD can they drive me up the wall. They mean well and are genuinely enthusiastic about the game, but when you have to explain them the basic rule of the game (which they really like and want to play!) every single time you play, it can get maddening. It also slows the game down, which is extra bad when you already play a slow game.
6 isn't actually too bad. The trick with a larger group is making sure that every player has a chance to shine. IF you ever have a player asking, "Why am I even here?" then you've got a problem.
As I mentioned in my reply to sander. 6 isn't actually too bad. But yes. I did try and mention to each of the Player Bobs that there was an issue. I went to them privately through Discord (our communication method of choice) and explained that what they were doing was an issue. The thing is, it actually got better...for about two weeks. Then they were right back at it.
What's worse is we were together as a group for a long time. When I ended that group and that game. It was clear to me that my choices were to become a hardcore NO GM, or just cut it off and move on. I felt that I had to choose the later. And frankly, I'm a happier GM for it. My new group is OUTSTANDING. I actually look forward to playing now.
cert2b I wanna hear the Bob 2 story
Player: "I'm following the party."
DM: "The party is shopping, what're you shopping for?"
Player: "Hm? Oh, nothing. I'm fine."
Proper DM: "Roll Perception" (vs npc stealth, because pickpockets go after easy marks who aren't paying attention).
NPC slight of hand*
@Emperor Blobby This. So much this. Let's face it: Some players will be wallflowers. Yet they will always show up on time to every session. They're still having fun even if they're not all that engaged. Maybe they're just an audience for everyone else's shenanigans and your own story. Don't punish them for that.
@Chuckler127 Exactly me.
I'm very new to dnd(only played 3 games) and I've noticed that I tent to be quite passive and I tend to follow the group as I am not 100% sure what's going on/ what my options are and don't want to spend too much time thinking about what to do. Is this normal?
@@Tom-yp5zw yeah, but try getting a little more engaged by paying attention and pitching ideas little by little
I believe everyone has a little piece of this list in them it actually in a way is and adds to our character as is life
Guy, this video is instantly one of my favorites of yours. It's much more constructive than others I've watched on your channel about players and DMs and while this half doesn't provide possible solutions, it still provides good food for thought in a non-combative manner.
I was usch a browbeater last session. Though... we all got frustrated over not being able to defend ourselves from flying projectiles in any way (from homing poison arrows to flying salt shakers).What I got so upset about was that my mechanical servent died AFTER checking the room with detect magic. No magic there, except after my servant evaporated out of thin air by a magical scale. Rest in pieces, my little wolf spider.
Because I'm a pretty big dude who's a bit easily annoyed by unwelcome stimuli, my group do tend to find me intimidating, unintentional though it be. Usually I just joke about the fact that I haven't even got it in me to throw a convincing punch at a person doing a self-defence demonstration, much less a fellow player. When it comes to hurting another person deliberately, something in me pulls me back and I'm flat out unable to move, and I off-handedly remark on this if somebody seems to think I might do something to them.
I should probably be playing a Goliath barbarian who's a total papa wolf to the party, namely I should roleplay being immensely vicious to the enemies, but be fatherly, protective, and mellow with the party.
Out of all of the channels that discuss GMing, you seem to have a mind most similar to mine.
Damn! I'm the ultra-timid kind of player... I used to feel left out; unable to play and enjoy, now I feel guilt as well... :(
Yes but poison damage is resisted by everything this Edition ;~;
sadly so...
Oh, god, are we back to the age of "Drink sap to cure everything?"
character wise this might make for some interesting villains
Damn, watching this, I recognise that I am heading down the "centre of attention" route. I'll work on that. I also recognise some of these player types in my game. Thanks for the video, it's going to help me grow as a person, be a better GM, and a better player.
I love these. Hes basically just informing on how to communicate like a normal, decent person lol
Biggest advice I have on any kind of interpersonal relationship stuff - never say “you did XYZ” instead say “I feel THIS/THAT when you did XYZ”
"Nobody else ever gets to do anything that isn't sanctioned by their character."
Literally every paladin player, ever.
Only the bad paladins. Pretty easy to make a paladin who doesn't do that. Especially if you make sure the overall goals and alignments of the characters are reasonably fitting, which you should be doing anyway unless you're intending to run a PVP game.
To be fair I play as a paladin and I’m also a oath of Redemption paladin. And so far I feel I’ve played him true to his character which means he follows his beliefs but also realizes that not everyone is like him. And hasn’t had the same life as him. He was a criminal at one point. And a very nasty one at that. So he definitely understands everyone is drastically different. He definitely preaches about being more peaceful but also realizes that violence is definitely necessary in certain situations. But even then he doesn’t fight to kill out right. He never does. He fights to protect. So when a person in the party talks about violence. He does his usual talk. “We would ultimately work towards a peaceful solution but if not it’s not the end of the world.” Type of thing.
Good video for so many reasons. Two include: 1. helpful, apt, and spot-on video. 2. Made me realise what a decent person you are!
I’ve been watching some of your videos and they’ve really helped me feel better about everything. Recently I’ve been playing my first real DnD session but I’m starting as GM and yes I’ve messed up and I learn as I go using the adaptive method with a home brew world and I’ve tried hard to make it fun for everyone give unique scenarios etc etc but being somewhat timid I’ve been and I won’t be scared to say this but players in my sessions have brought me to tears being many of the things in this video calling every decision I’ve made trash and all that fun stuff having to end early when two or more gang up on me knit picking at every flaw I make or everything they don’t agree with ÚwÙ and sorry to be long with this just bleh, an example of this would be a random lvl 20 npc the players ran into they started to lie failing checks and aggroing him slowly until they attacked and I told them prior to not attempt it cause he was higher lvl with amazing equipment and after trying to fight they would slowly get taken out and complain saying I didn’t give them enough options or I’m being too op with my enemies them even knowing what he’s doing his background and why he’s strong all this stuff and they kept making him made and idk how to deal with them complaining about mr saving them, or putting encounters they mess up purposely and complain when it doesn’t go their way, that’s all I’ll ramble
I feel like I have to disagree on the "Non-Participator". Yes, the "space at the table" could be "allocated" to a more active player. But, at least in my experience, these people are often at the table because its a group of friends playing and they are a member of that group. In that case, watching streamed games is obviously no "solution" either. They don't actively "hurt" the game either: They don't stop anyone from having fun or otherwise negatively affect the game of the others. In fact, they may even play a vital role in keeping the group of players together on a social level if some of them prefer very different playstyles than others. Of course, a group entirely made up of "Casual Players" (as this type of player is called in "Robin's Laws of God Game mastering by Robin D. Laws), the group will not function. But simply labelling this behaviour as truly "toxic" seems very wrong to me.
You are absolutely right! However, as a GM, sometimes it's irritating when you ask them what they want to do and they just copy the actions of other players or say they don't know. In that particular moment, the story doesn't advance. But I would never leave the person out of the group because sometimes, they come up with amazing stuff when you least expect it.
If you dont mind here is some advice that helped me.
Start asking what their character thinks or feels about things and they may start opening up. How does X make your character feel what do they think about Y now what would your character do or act given that. You as a GM know their background as well use that as well as long as your not given anything away. And slowly they just start doing it naturally. Sometimes...
It is hand holding but with new or casual players I have found it works quite well. And when those player come out of their shell it be quite fun!
they should still break out of their audience member mentality and try grabbing the spotlight sometimes
"lets make a plan"
"ok" doesnt make a plan
Agreed. It's not something you generally want to encourage, but it certainly isn't behaviour that actively ruins it for other people.
The GM might be miffed that they don't engage with the game, but by that point they're getting angry because someone isn't enjoying their entertainment correctly. I can sympathize, but "toxic" also seems like a very problematic description.
@@Healermain15 I totally agree. This particular behavoiur can't be considered toxic because it doesn't ruin the game ... except if you have a few of those in a single group. The one person I was thinking about is very shy, but he is the funniest guy in the group because he sometimes delivers when you're not expecting it.
Watching this video makes me realize that I do sort of fit the definition of 'The Snark' in real life.
I am a somewhat snarky and sarcastic person. Though going back and watching recordings (yeah one of our guys records our sessions), I notice that I don't really do that when game time comes, or when it comes to our campaign.
I feel like.. like I want this to be a group story, a story that we as a group create. I don't want this to be **MY** story alone, nor do I feel like anybody (even the GM) should feel like this is "MY story." I find myself often going 15-20 minutes without saying a thing, just to let the other players unfold the story, talk among each other and even with other NPCs. I find myself only jumping in when nobody else knows what to say, or when my character is spoken to.
It's interesting how I can watch this video and go "Shit, is that me?" and then go back through video to spot instances of myself so I can know for sure that I'm not just over-exaggerating things.. and realize I find none of it.
I can't believe I'm just now discovering this channel! I love all the info and discussion. I especially love how this popped up after reading some pretty ignorant comments on CR for their recent (as of today) episode (93). And I'm laughing because as he's describing each type of Toxic player, I'm thinking "Yep. That's what that commenter comes off as...and oh, that one for that other one for sure." LOL! But aside from that, I plan on rewatching this the day I finally find a group to play again with because I don't want to be a toxic player!
Ah, this makes me think about one of my players who used to be non-participator and timed slowly starts to bloom. he used to say nothing, even when asked what he does he would just say "i follow... this groupmember", looking at his phone and in those few times he wanted to say something, he was so quite, usually ppl wouldn't hear it. now, 10 levels later, he found a charakter that suits him, he can roleplay it, he can enjoy the abilitys, his charakter has preferences and hobbys. i no longer have to ask him how he spends his free moments. he starts to say these things by himself and not just plain say it but uses his bodylanguage.
It is so great to see such development. he also enjoys our rounds a lot more by now.
I definitely tend to turn into a non-contributor or a timid when confronted with an ignorer... unfortunately, both in games and in the real world. I struggle when it comes to trying to jockey for speaking room, so I tend to just shut down if I get bulldozed enough times in a session. Having that issue with a player in a current Adventurer's League campaign right now... I can be a few words into a sentence, and this guy will just appear out of nowhere. After a few times, that's pretty much it for me that game.
The term "toxic" when applied to humans means the persons named such are injurious to other people. Naming someone toxic makes you injurious to others. Have fun with that. Actually, I don't think anyone that is willing to call people toxic is capable of fun, only narcissism.
Helpful vid. I hope you or another insightful D&D channel covers the issue of the "Heal Sponge."
Whenever they get hurt below 50% HP, they tell the cleric how to play their character by shouting HEAL ME
I have a player who is wonderful, but has a bad habit when she's getting beaten up in a battle. She shouts for her sister playing the cleric to HEAL HER NOW. Last session, I told her thrice that our cleric knows how to do her job, and that we can offer other players suggestions, but ultimately clerics don't have to only heal. I also kindly, but firmly, reminded her that she is a bard and has access to healing, and if it's such a big concern, she should use those spells more. The other players laughed and yelled "GOT 'EM!"
Hopefully, she's learned :^ )
I am admittedly the "always right" and I did become the GM, and in doing so I learned that I was not always right. Probably the best advice in the video.
I tend to gravitate towards the Centre of attention category, I try really hard to not do it though as i know it's a problem i have... i usually say after i've talked or felt like i was the only one doing anything for a few minutes "would anyone else like to do anything? i've kinda been talking or doing alot of stuff and i'm fine with taking a more supporting role for a bit" Or something to that effect.,which i think helps me not come off as a spotlight hog...hopefully anyway, hard to tell sometimes.
i do this too. especially when I'm playing my bard. but i often stop and ask if anyone else wants to talk or do something or something else. but my party is usually pretty passive when it comes to role-play so they often don't mind. I still like to make sure more often than not
I like rule lawyer players. I have a very good memory for rules and I am a strategist as a player so I like it when my players do the same, but I see how it may be annoying and intimidating for some people who dont like strategy
Woowee, did we have a non participator for a LONG time in our group. He played a thief and would always just hide out and stay behind. He'd never fight, talk, or contribute to the group. It was like he just wanted a character sheet with a high level.
You sound like you're roleplaying these people and now I want a campaign where the NPCs are toxic because you're doing an excellent job
I used to be the groups only rouge who would steal things. our other rogue doesn't (Don't know why) and we were in a heated battle with around 20 guards in full plate armor. Well, as a rogue my damage output isn't great. however, we had someone in our group who (when it was my turn) looked at me, and said. "well, you're the rogue so, you're useless here. You can't hit hard enough to even do anything so just move out of the way so I can hit them." I was beyond pissed! however, I smiled and ran close to three of them. I held out my ring of distraction and forced their attention onto the ring so they couldn't move. I used my other ring (a ring of metal melting) to turn their metal helmets into red hot burning magma. I was then surrounded by five of them, and as a reaction, i used a bag of disappearing dust to turn invisible, run away.
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE A ROGUE.
Why did you make this up?
Sneak attack!
You as always are well spoken and cover the topic at hand masterfully.
I've been very lucky in my choice of players. Most have been longtime friends or close to them. I've actually only dealt with the timid and bully ( rare ). Timid I find is very workable. I encourage them by including them more easily in a situation, such as limited suggestions to draw them out. To some the idea of " I can do anything? " can be overwhelming at first. And also " no I dont need you to do a character's voice, just tell me what you'd like to do or say " . That in itself takes a lot of pressure off. We're not all voice actors. After they become comfortable I find true timid people start to open up and venture out. The Bully always gets tossed. As for the rest I'm definitely interested in seeing part 2 of the video. Great rant control by the way. ☺
This is vey useful, not only for RPGs but even for private life and work in general!
Love the videos! they've really helped in my DM training XD
watching this reminded me of a Mega toxic player I had
I used to love playing in this one group a few years back, but another player started to become super toxic and when I asked the Gm to see if they could talk to them I thought it would help. Instead the player targeted me and another who had asked. It made games really uncomfortable and the party broke apart. Fast forward a year, and TP wants to DM and gathers the gang back together. Things go as expected: DM wants a party of 8 but doesn't want to deal with that many characters, he wants the players to create EVERYTHING ( the map, the gods, kingdoms, ect.), doesn't plan for sessions and just makes up vegue descriptions, there's no story, and the combat is not leveled at all ( first game TPK due to random encounter table for lvl 8 and up.... we were lvl 1). Then I take up the role of DM after said campaign ended badly, and TP demands to play and at this point I was actually afraid of TP and the influence they had over the other players. Cut to me being belittled and ignored while TP recites every 5e book at me because i forgot how many feet the barbarian could jump...
Sorry for the rant but I just wanted to express that damage a toxic player can inflict ( in my case, at least)
I love my characters. They are my children. But I also dont care if they die.
Why?
Because it's part of the fun. There are some characters I'm not okay with dying though.
One being a character I've had for 17 years now who grew up with me. Hes too close to my heart.
Another reason is if the character had no growth before their death. When they die before they could grow as a character or impacted someone or something in some way, or something like that, it feels like a waste of a character.
(I also draw my characters and campaigns a lot and drawing all that emotion for death scenes is fun)
Great video, it's good that you remind people that we can change toxic players. I think most people when starting have some toxic element in them, I remember when I was younger sometimes I could be a rule lawyer and a GM browbeater, nothing that would ruin games but sometime I could be annoying, and I'm glad that my first GM corrected me on that. "
If you sit down you most people and explain the situation they will change their actions to be less toxic on the game, but sadly there are times that people won't accept change.
In all my time as GM I had to kick out just one player from my games, he was a mixture from "The always right" and "The Snark", he was playing a paladin and he would interfere with everybody actions, most of the time strong arming in game the other players to do and act the way he wanted, I tried at first talking with him since we all were friends about the way he was making the game less fun for everybody, but he didn't change and I had to throw him out of the group one day after he started a fight with another player for not acting in the game the way he wanted.
TL;DR: We should always try to reason with our players, but sometimes assholes can't be changed.
The example you used for the Always Right made me think actually. So nothing can gain energy from nothing, so if the plant doesn’t get energy from photonic particles or whatever, what if it gains energy and grows from the connotations that people give darkness? So it feeds off of social energy. It gives it an interesting mechanism that you can leave as is or expand on, making them enemies maybe as the thoughts associated with darkness are often related to danger. You could even go so far as to say that they only show up in specific places where there are enough people for them to feed from but not so many that people feel safe in darkness.
Then again, I’m probably overthinking things because I’m a bit of an Always Right, though I try to use it to help ideas grow rather than to just say no.
Ran into two toxic 'ignorer' players in a game with a new GM. They decided to make decisions outside of the game and then immediately act on them during our sessions. They thought they knew the best thing to do and/ or always wanted their way. They didn't talk to anyone to see if the decisions were okay, or if they would work for the campaign that the group was doing. "ignorers don't always look the way you think they will. Sometimes, they won't bring things up in the game, they'll do things outside of it and try to slip them in.
Watching your videos have helped me with putting together characters.
Helps with making things that make sense and sound good in context for in game play, and etiquette to help make games go as smoothly as possible, for better or worse.
3:56 they have to roll a DC 18 intimidation check
One of the greatest things to happen this year was when a 13 year non participator found an NE character he loved and now became a GM/DM.
Has anyone ever experienced the “jealous player”? Someone at the table has a heavy hitter who has good plans, they aren’t over bearing they just have good ideas that other players usually go with… their character often leads the charge because he’s a heavy hitter…. But the “jealous player” is openly belligerent to the group following him, just in spite. The mission is to break into the tower, everyone is waiting to bust down the door, but the jealous player is down in the market looking for random items… won’t listen when the group says “let’s go!” Just because it wasn’t his idea to storm the tower…?
Sherlock Holmes: The ABSOLUTE toxic player
Wow, the recovery of that skip of the ignorer was freaking insane. I even felt like you might have planned it 👌
I really like your videos Guy. Obviously we look at many different types of things on how to run a game too, but you also delve into the actual players and how to make it work for all of them. We really get both sides of the DM screen and I love it. Keep it up mate, it is also worth a watch.
"timid", sometimes, they are just introverts that you need to patiently, but firmly, keep forcing them to take their turn. I've had one or two folks that blossomed into great players once they got accustomed to being expected to participate. Yes, it took attention and intent which could have been focused on people that participated without continuous prompting. But, they are now great players that join in and are no longer timid players.
I do 100% agree to the timid/non participant. This hit close to the last group I played with. Taking space at the table but not bringing anything in, not an interaction, not a conversation.. bah!
super good stuff, the second part will be useful to prevent pit falls. It´s awesome you give us this content, man!
I would add one more, probably the in-roleplay version of the distractor: The star of the party. We had one player like this among us. He had a solid concept, he wasn't dumb, probably quite the opposite. But no plot went by without regular incidents of figurative table flipping and discussions. He was only happy, when he could somehow shine the brightest by gathering the attention of all the other characters in the party. GM describes a group of wild raports running towards us in panic. Everyone tried to seek shelter or run away. Naturally, you would hope your character would make it out without much harm, no? Not our star. Not only did he decide his character was severly injured, he also proclaimed that if none of the other characters come to his aid in the next five minutes, his character will be dead and tried to pressure us this way to make our next round of actions about him alone. Nobody cared, especially since he was rather new to the group and well we don't do that here. So nobody jumps to his aid. Next thing you know, he gets extremely pissed and storms off, because we "killed" his character. Sadly our GM is a saint, so we put up with him for a whole year.
i whole heartedly agree the second i hear "i dont care if my character dies".... welp time for the longest slowest torture of that character ever and i will keep it alive and tell the player no you may not make a new character till your old one dies ill make you care atleast long enough to make them describe a broken terrible sequence of events that after i made them get said character out of trouble then BOOM massive damage instant death no saving rolls and then ill just throw it back at em "well you said you didnt care if they died or not" then i scatter their inventory to the winds so there is absolutely no inventory retrieval and when it comes to revivals "well like you said they dont care so they dont want to be revived"
Oh, and as a Player, I think giving others the spotlight very simple.
I make sure our talents don't overlap, for starters (So I'm very good at some stuff, but never the same stuff as the others).
Then, at *every* decision I look around and ask "What do you think?". When my character has an objective that he may be able to achieve, but someone else is way better (like if I have proficiency in nature and I want to extract poison, but the druid is an expert) I just go "Hey, can you do this for me? I'll help you out whenever as well!".
So if you could probably do something, if someone is even slightly better, ask them. It'll shift the spotlight with ease and in a very fluid way.
There are countless examples. This is a particularly good habit to exercise because it can plug many of the toxic behaviours you may have.
I also like to ask the others for help on my personal objectives *once in a while* . You can't overdo this, or else the game will be too much about you. Sometimes, it's fine to just say "I'm going to search for someone who would by this poison."
"Sure, make a roll"
Instead of role-playing all of it. Of course, it feels good once in a while (and the first time).
Oh, I rambled. Well. If you read all this, have a nice weekend.
Just an idea here...
I (personally) tend toward a "Contrarian Style" of RP... I still put the effort in to play WITH the party rather than entirely against them, so it's... well, getting complicated is part of the fun.
However, I set Character Goals (secretly) that are about INSTIGATING rather than Directly Accomplishing... It's a frequent contribution to tension builds and great comic relief. These "secret goals" don't have to be epic, nor campaign defining... Just stuff you think you "can" instigate... as in cause others to accomplish...
If you can manage to coax a certain goal into the game, word or scene for details, then move on to the next... AND if the list runs out (or even gets low) think of new stuff to try to get done "in game"... without anyone figuring out what you're doing.{THAT is the key part}
My rule is, If someone CAN guess what the hell I'm "up to"... Then the goal's no good. Either it simply becomes impossible (like trying to twist a Paladin into a malicious mass murderer) OR the Player targeted will "just play along" to make me happy... and I haven't EARNED it.
These secret goals don't undermine the game. It's never "good form" to directly derail campaigns, destroy the GM's efforts, take away other Players' entertainments, or any of that... The point is just instigating others into being unwilling accomplices in "antics" around the general campaign...
SO when I did twist a Paladin into a murderer... and I've perverted more than few... The bigger picture didn't rely on the Paladin, nor on the Party having a Paladin. The Paladin's Player willingly, happily, and readily did those horrible things. I only (ONLY EVER) coaxed a bit... found the right things to say... contributed the occasional "insight"... and mostly watched and applauded... Corruption can be fun!
Of course, these secretive goals are best accomplished THE HELL OUTSIDE OF THE SPOTLIGHT!!! Being "Spotlighted" is the EASIEST way to get "found out" because there, the whole table is watching YOU!... SO I'm tickled to death to dance in and out of spotlights, avoiding attention as the plague... being my "usually facetious self" and RP'ing up a storm in general... ;o)
Thank you for addressing this. I'm certainly guilty of at least one. If a person could get their whole group to watch this video, and take a self-assessment, I think that it would benefit the entire group. That also depends on if the players in the group care about the quality of the game..
Roleplaying is basically improv. The #1 rule of improv is “yes, and” meaning that you do not contradict the situation you find yourself in. In roleplaying terms, this means you listen to your GM and fellow players 9 times out of 10. Don’t constantly complain about the GM’s refusal to follow your own custom rule set or your party members making mistakes. Here’s an example: one co-player in one of my games chose to play a barbarian and is constantly charging into the fight yet complains that the GM is being unfair every time that player gets attacked. A co-player in a different game believes that a certain spell should function in a different way than it does in the rulebook. The DM has told her over and over again that he’s going to stick with the wording of the rulebook and she absolutely won’t stop badgering him about it. He’s almost gotten to the point of giving up and letting her have her way, but is understandably worried about setting a bad precedent that will encourage this behavior in the future.
The non-participator doesn't have to be bad. If your just playing with a group of friends and one of them isn't super interested in the roleplaying part but just likes hanging out with friends it's perfectly fine to have someone like that. I guess it really depends on what the goal is of your group.
We have a bossy player , a cleric who is scared to fight back, a bard who wont sing or make music and a overly inquisitive wizard who will arcana check a barstool. It's a wild wild world.
I like your hair style in this. Not sure if it's a new cut, or just different styling, but it works.
"Hagrid, have you combed your hair?" - Harry Potter
Very interesting video. A lot of these are behaviours I've seen in real life as well. Probably useful for anyone who tends to get frustrated with people to see this - myself included. I know I've done some of these at one point or another in my life, but this kind of thing helps make one cognizant of just how that kind of thing happens.
This was a great video and I am really looking forward to the follow up. Our group has a timid player that is supposed to serve as the party leader. His character is supposed to be in charge, make decisions and help lead our group to victory but he is very analytical and indecisive. When he does make a decision that I'm not sure about, I will ask, "are you sure?" I don't mean to be snarky and in all honesty, am asking a sincere question, but it is enough to make him question his decision and almost always back away from it. I believe that one of the issues is that the GM for that game helped him make his character and the GM chose his own favorite class from the Rifts setting, the Cyber-Knight and sort of foisted that role upon his son without asking what kind of character his son actually wanted to play. My guess, and that's all it is, is that the GM pointed out all of the fantastic potential of the class to sell his son on the idea while failing to realize that his son's real-world personality is much closer to that of the casual observer.
That is why I only socialize with a selected few. We just have fun.
As a shy kind of person, it actually took a change of character to get more into pathfinder.
I'm actually stoked to play my shy, apprehensive witch. I've been checking her stats many times, Drawing her own fanart, thinking of actual things she'd say, etc.
In fact, something I do for immersion (I recommend others to do it too) is I speak in whatever voice my character has. Think broken English for brutish characters. Overexaggerated please and thank you's for shy characters. I'll even write my character sheets with my character's lingo and art.
I think one of my biggest problems roleplaying is that I don't know the right balance to grab the spotlight. Although your bit about suicidal characters reminded me of something from a fairly recent playing session, as in the last year, where my paladin was literally drowning while fighting a demon, out of spell slots, and down to almost no hit points. Long story short I got knocked out and while everyone was trying to save me I started rolling up my backup in front of all of them both for practical reasons and for a gag. Is that inappropriate or not? They didn't mind and the Paladin ultimately survived, so I have a backup they've all seen me legit roll up.
Also a basic table rule I bring whether I'm GM or Player is that the player characters have to have a reason to 1 be in the group and 2 be an adventurer.
Very insightful. I've been many of these, and I've seen all of them. Indeed, the very best of the best I've played with still have elements of these mixed in with them. It's nice to know what to accept and where to draw a line.
6:00 A physical bully, who liked hitting one other player in particular, actually tried to punch me during a game, once. Since at the time I was, IRL at the table, holding an honest-to-god dagger UNSHEATHED, I smiled and made a not-very-subtle point opposing his proposed action, which caused him to rapidly back off. He hasn't tried again, since.
Edut: On the other side of the equation, I do tend to "live out" some of my role-playing, so I have stood up, leant across the table and grabbed the GM by his shirt while screaming into his face over an in-character argument with an NPC. We knew each other well, but I think I shocked the other players a bit. :)
I'm joining a role playing group for the first time in about 20 years and I am using your video to make sure I don't be "that guy"!
18:00 - I love your voice acting there :)
It finally got to the point where we lost a player because she was a lot of these things embodied into one, and she was getting upset that the table was getting frustrated with her. It came to the point where she had to lawyer the rules, but didn't know most of the rules, then would get mad when I would prove her wrong and site what page (I'd look from my phone which would cite which page and which book) that corrects her. And then on top of it, she wouldn't do anything. Like, I'd try to take a moment in all of our games to give players an opportunity to farm some XP (because after playing a year they're only lvl 5 which is because she'd slow the game to a crawl because we'd argue every single game), but she didn't want to do anything. So other players would take simple side quests, and they'd climb levels faster than her. She got all upset with me, saying I was picking on her, and I tried to tell her multiple times she has to do something. We're still friends and I'm glad for that... but it's kind of a relief she's gone.