First date; coffee or a walk. In a large percentage of first dates, the dude will never see the lady again, so control what you spend. You don't owe total strangers half a week's wage.
Most of Courtney's date ideas are about 'getting to know each other,' and that translates to job interview or boring small talk, talking about random stuff that no one cares about. I believe that the most important purpose of a date is to have fun, beside getting to know each other. For example, playing games like pool, mini-golf or shared interests like a workout date. Most people would much rather continue to date the person who they have the most fun with.
@@coldsteel9420 You said first dates should be about “fun”, and your first example of an activity was pool. In my opinion, pool is about as fun as slamming your head against drywall. At the end of the day, what you find enjoyable on a date, someone has a completely different idea of fun.
S Tier- Informal Meal, Museum/Zoo/Aquarium, A Tier- Coffee B Tier- Formal Meal, Comedy Show, Sporting Event C Tier- Walk, Concert, Bar/Drinks Only, Amusement Park, Shopping D Tier- Hiking, Group/Friend Date F Tier- Movie, Family Function, Your House
First date should be simple, inexpensive, and extendible. That way: 1.) If it sucks, you bail out quickly. For example, if it's a coffee date, you take the coffee to go and get the heck out of there. 2.) If it's going okay, you can add on to it. For example if it's an ice cream date and there's a rail trail nearby, go for a stroll on the rail trail. Simply put, the first date is to get to know someone. It should not cost hundreds of dollars. If it does she should move to the Klondike because she's a gold digger.
I agree with this. Definitely like coffee since it's inexpensive and I always have a nervous stomach when meeting someone for the first time, so I am not a huge fan of meals for a first date.
Exactly. Going to a super nice place is just try hard and comes across as approval-seeking. At the end of the day, the guy should be seeing if he's into the girl just as much as she is w/ him. I like drinks, if the girl drinks, because if you sit at the bar (and you should) it doesn't feel like an interview. And if the girl is into you she will lean in and let you know w/ body language. If it's not going well you can bail easily. If it's going well you can easily transition to anything, even dinner. The great thing about drinks is you can tailor it to any kind of vibe you want. I would probably not choose a dive bar, but for the right girl...that's the perfect first date because it can be interesting!
Most of Courtney's date ideas are about 'getting to know each other,' and that translates to job interview or boring small talk, talking about random stuff that no one cares about. I believe that the most important purpose of a date is to have fun, beside getting to know each other. For example, playing games like pool, mini-golf or shared interests like a workout date. Most people would much rather continue to date the person who they have the most fun with.
I took someone to an ice cream shop for a first date once. Easily accessible, casual, and fun. Second date was a board game cafe and that was a great time as well. Highly recommend those if available
I think a good one to add would be a friendly competition date: Bowling, Mini-golf, Arcade, things of that nature. As long as it is something you both really enjoy.
MUSEUM - I have found museum and coffee or museum and lunch is a great first date. It’s easy to talk as you walk around and conversation keeps flowing because you can always talk about the art when you’re not sharing about yourselves. Public space. Admission is usually affordable and better museums will have a cafe and a gift shop as well.
Anyone complaining that something casual and little to no pressure is no effort shouldn't be dating period! I'd combine a walk with either coffee or farmer's market, etc.
Let’s be clear; women who demand a 5 star restaurant for the first date have zero interest in the guy; they’re looking for a simp to exploit on a foodie call.
I took a friend bowling and it became our first date. Next I took her apple picking (it was that time of year). That was a fun thing to do. I'm a good bowler, so that looked good. Then apple picking was fun picking her up to reach higher apples, plus there were animals and treats and all that stuff.
I took someone out on a date to an arcade/bowling ally, and it was very loud and hard to hear each other. So I have to disagree unless you already know each other and just want to have fun. And I'd also add that this date activity might be more fun as a double date.
After a first marriage that went 20 years and another marriage I went 16 years, I was dating again and decided I didn't know anything about it. I started listening to people like you and I am forever grateful. Everything you say in this video is good advice! FYI, I proposed meeting at a Starbucks. I did this several times. When they replied why Starbucks, and sometimes said they did not drink coffee, I gave the following reasons: 1. It's busy enough that neither one of us will feel like we are sticking out like a sore thumb; 2. We should find a nice place to sit down so we can have a nice visit; 3. It's not so noisy we can't have a good conversation; 3 1/2 there will be an exit door on either side of us so if either one of us feel we needed to get away quickly we could do that. Not a single girl turned me down on this first date option
Starbucks isn't terrible, but it's a little bit boring. An independent cafe or coffee shop in a nice location where you could go for a nice walk after would probably go down a lot better.
Only Americans would complain that meeting up for a coffee - the gold standard, low stakes, great-way-to-get-to-know-someone hangout - is "low effort" or "shows that a person just sees you as a friend."
Great video, Courtney! It's always helpful to hear different perspectives on first date ideas. I agree that individual preferences and the specific person you're with should be the biggest factors.
One way I elevate my coffee dates is to check out small business cafe's. That way, its different for her (not a Starbucks) and we are supporting local!
Coffee date - I told my date to meet me for coffee, and said if she was still enjoying herself after a cup, we could continue for an outing with my dog at the beach. After that we had lunch. After that we went to my place for a glass of wine. She said it was the best first date ever. So all those women who shun coffee dates missed out.
A girl who really likes you isn't going to put any conditions on where you go. If she demands to go to a certain place, it means she's just trying to use you for your money. She'll gladly order takeout to bring home to the guy she's hooking up with who doesn't have to take her on any dates. I know because I've been that guy waiting at home.
Controversial opinion: The better you are at conversation, the better a stripped down date is. Walking is fine if you can find topics to discuss and engage in.
From a female perspective I appreciate your videos so much, thank you! I agree with all of what you say and hope that the men are watching, listening & learning 💯‼️
I've got to throw in my favorite first date idea: going to an arcade! $20 can get you hours of fun at an arcade, and you can make it last as long as you want. There are sooo many things to talk about there, and it's also easy to talk over whatever you're doing to get to know each other better. It's perfect if you're both competitive, or you can work together on games if not. If they're not into video games, you've still got ski ball, pinball, air hockey, basketball, etc. EVERYONE can find something they enjoy at an arcade. Then you can trade in your tickets for matching prizes as memories of the date if it goes well. I had great success recently with a board/card game picnic too. You both bring your favorite games and snacks.
Walks are highly underrated imo. I think we forget that's how courtship used to happen for hundreds of years before all the fancy stuff. Just wanted to point that out.
I love tuning in because your voice for this is 100% perfect and you also aren't petty or mean. However you are doing your audio is dead on! Plus it is fun to hear thoughts about dating and people interacting.
I reckon you were pretty spot on with your choices. I had a first date that we went out for a casual meal and then while walking around, went into a second-hand store full of cool old stuff, similar to your shopping experience.
12:05 my girlfriend wanted to fly to visit me as soon as possible. I knew her parents would dissaprove, but I’m not so stupid as to reject her idea, instead I found the passport information for her, and told her to ask her parents for help with documentation. She said they thought it would be best if I visited first. And I just agreed with her parents 😂 it showed me supportive of her ideas while also being accepting of her family and concerned about her safety traveling somewhere alone. Then I lamented how badly I wanted to see her and that I’d be able to visit in February. I just farmed wins with that one.
Most of Courtney's date ideas are about 'getting to know each other,' and that translates to job interview or boring small talk, talking about random stuff that no one cares about. I believe that the most important purpose of a date is to have fun, beside getting to know each other. For example, playing games like pool, mini-golf or shared interests like a workout date. Most people would much rather continue to date the person who they have the most fun with.
I've found coffee to be the best first date. Not expensive, relaxed environment, and can extend/cut short if it isn't going well. The only issue with it is that it's not great for weekdays after work since a lot of people don't want to have caffeine in the evenings. I really don't drink so I tend to avoid drinks.
For a first date, you want to maximize conversation time and minimize distractions. That means coffee, drinks, and walk should be at the top, and movie, concert, comedy show, and sports should be at the bottom. In those four bottom ones, they all involve an active real-time presentation you're supposed to be following along, and they all involve noise that could drown out or otherwise conflict with conversation. Zoo/museum could actually be a nice balance because there's space to talk but there's also a passive conversation piece to talk about, though you'd want to make sure everyone is actually interested in what the place is offering.
One i love to do is an antique mall or shop like that. It can bring back memories for people if they see something nostalgic and you can see things that make them warm and fuzzy. Also, you can gather senses of style with furniture or clothing which can be an interesting peek into them too and how it aligns or clashes with yours.
3:00 you mentioned a walk, coffee & brunch as S tier. My last first date was coffee with her and one of her friends, a walk (it was fall) in a beautiful (very public) park and then a nice informal meal together. We’ve now been married for 25 years and still going strong. S tier confirmed! ❤
I really appreciate your content Courtney. Your videos have helped me develop a more mature approach to dating which is something I’ve struggled to figure out before. Thank you 🙏
@CourtneyRyan Where would you rank watching the sunset on the beach for a first date? I live near the ocean and it’s my go-to first date. I usually bring a blanket so we can sit together and if the first few minutes go well I pull a bottle of my favorite wine out of my bag and ask if she’d like a glass. If the conversation goes well, we could extend the date or plan a second date. This date has always worked well for me, and even if it’s not a love connection it’s a nice way to spend some time with someone new.
I highly recommend the following if they are available in your area: train trolley trips, horse-drawn carriages, tour boats, and tour buses. You can sit and chat while enjoying the view.
Having an adventure is a great way to build chemistry before. See her earlier, other video on excitement and how it makes you fall in love. It's also just fun! It doesn't have to be expensive, just do something adventurous like roller coasters, snorkeling, a skatepark, zip lining, exotic new food, etc. where you can both feel that rush and start to fall in love.
My last successful first dates were: - a picnic on a green meadow with a view of the mountains - a visit to an amusement park (with lots of candy floss - the stuff was sticky everywhere) - a visit to a special medical exhibition (she was a surgeon) - a ride in a horse-drawn carriage (including a heated blanket and a picnic basket with champagne) through the city center on a cold day - a ride in a vintage convertible to a popular spiritual place - a visit to the Viktualienmarkt in Munich (high-quality food and drinks everywhere, but also very crowded)
First date is always active, it's great at weeding out sedentary people. Frisbee golf is a great way to spend time with someone new. Outside, casual, walking, recognizing how difficult frisbee golf is and laughing about it. You can always offer to remove some of the burrs if they can't reach them. If it is a one and done, you both probably still had some fun and got your steps in for the day. If it's a good time and you enjoy each other's company, you can ask if she would like to spend some more time getting to know each other over the picnic basket that you prepared (just in case).
I think you graded the dates excellently. I like that you bare in mind that it's better to be safe than sorry. I look forward to more content, thank you very much for the content, and God Bless you, Courtney
My first date with my current gf was going to a dancing social. I've practicing Salsa en Bachata for over a year and she loved it! It's very rare for a girl/ woman te see a guy who likes to dance!
I like grabbing coffee at a small, tasteful cafe, stay or go, take a short stroll through a historic area to an art exhibit & then decide on light fare food or drinks. Tapas or sushi are great for sharing & discussion. If you go for drinks & get tipsy, know a cute late night diner as an option. Ya just need to study your surroundings & date logistics
I agree with most of your points. But a few days ago i met a woman to a first date (we knew us). We cooked together and watched movies til the night and it was very great for both of us
Best first date: Meet at a Barnes and Noble. Each of you go get 5 books that describe a different part of your personality/life. Meet back up in 15ish minutes. Get coffee/tea. Take turns sharing books. Ask lots of questions and really get to know the person. BONUS: You now have 5 ideas for your next 5 dates that you know she'll like.
I just wanted to say thank you for all the content you out. After these years of watching you I've learned a lot. I've never once used any of this in my own personal life because ME but I appreciate all you do for everyone who watches. Even my ex from years ago (friends for a decade before dating) thinks you are amazing.
It depends on the class of woman a man takes out. Based on experience, upper middle-class women enjoy low cost dates that involves arts, museums, coffee, and even strolls. Whereas working-class or lower-class women demand expensive dates with activities outside their own budget, etc. If you're a middle-class gentleman, never date working-class women. Date within your class.
Largely agree. Biggest thing is that you want it to be something you can talk, doesn’t involve excessive spending and is easy to have an out if things don’t look good for safety.
The best first date I ever took a girl on has to be ballroom dancing. Granted, I had been taking classes for a couple of years at that point, but it's great because it shows the girl you can lead and it helps break the touch barrier very quickly.
my thoughts (at least from what I have here on our side of the planet) if a first date setting is over a meal, order something that is served in quick small bites… like a couple of appetizers, or something snack-sized… that way, both can have a conversation without being distracted by a spoonful of food… Japanese restaurants can be a good start, specially those that serve sushi, sashimi, maki, tempura, miso soup and tea… done right it definitely can get lovely…
My first date with my GF : Coffee together for 1 hour, after that 2 hours in the Museum at the end she wanted to continue to talk, so we walk for 2 hours. Coffee date for a safe bet, museum is great but depend on the woman tastes.
What I love is sushi or Korean bbq. Much slower to eat with more room to talk, can share dishes to see what each other likes, can cook for one another with the bbq, variety of choices. Don’t get me started with “Cheesecake Factory” meme from years prior 😂
@@OptimisticRealizer bro. Thats sounds like something you need to work on. Respectfully 😭. Dinner manners are a must for first impressions. I know what you mean, but it’s easy to eat slowly and clean your mess as you go.
Your right men don't factor in the safety thing enough. I know I sure didn't and one time I took a girl to a park and it was late evening. She ended up calling her friend at one point. It wasn't a first date, but still something I didn't really think about.
13:26 On this, a tip: I highly recommend PDA's on 1st (or 2nd) dates. Kissing her when there's other people around (but not right next to you, lol) creates an opportunity for her to give you a test-run, safely.
I'm still on the 'Have a first date' stage. Yes, you read that right, I've never been on a date before. Mostly because, during my school years, I was ridiculously shy and I had a lot of trouble working up the nerve to approach people. My best friend was the one who approached me first during Year 5 (4th Grade). Edit: That shyness hasn’t really dissipated yet, unfortunately. I think I’d probably only approach a woman to ask her on a date if I got to know her beforehand as friends, over a period of a few months maybe at the least.
I was watching an interview on tv and a super attractive movie star- mid 20s- said she had never been on a date in her life. So you may be in good company.
@@Lawrence_writer Well, that made me feel a bit better, knowing that it’s not just me who struggles with these things. Helps me feel a little bit less alone.
Dr. K of HealthyGamerGG once did a video called "The Real Reason You Don't Get A Second Date" where he goes over his knowledge on romantic attraction and relationships from a psychological perspective. In it, he describes how a first date should elicit some shared emotional response (i.e. an experience y'all can bond over, so something like a shared activity that's exciting - talks about the rickety bridge experiment), shouldn't go on for too long (he talks about how it should be 90 minutes, that's apparently the "sweet spot" for romantic attraction without going on so long that you dip back into platonic interest territory), and ideally shouldn't be an interview. That last one is interesting, because he pretty much outright disrecommends things like coffee or meals as a first date, since all you can do is ask questions and answer them, which can become socially tiresome. If you get a chance to watch that video (uploaded about 9 months ago), I'd love to hear your thoughts on the insights he provides! Whether you agree with them, disagree with them, etc.
I'm a fan of tiered first dates. It takes a bit more planning. but follow me here. Plan to have dinner but first meet for drinks. If it goes south quick, then have a drink and bail. If it goes well enough, have dinner. and so on. So your afternoon could look like coffee and bail. or coffee, then dinner, then walking around the area and having desserts and then maybe a bar after that etc.
These are my go to ideas that I’ve had decent success with for a first date. Also pair these with a coffee or casual lunch at cafe or family diner. Relatively inexpensive and great way to keep conversation going/flirt. Also relatively public so she will feel safe and likely less anxious. - Farmers market - County Fair - Mini Golf - Bowling - Art Gallery - Aquarium - Museum
Only commenting on two. Drinks - Back when I was single, I picked up a great, if obvious, piece of advice. If you meet someone in a bar, then you already know one thing about them, and that's that they like to drink. That, in and of itself, may be a turn-on or a turn-off for you, depending on your feelings about drinking, and the same applies to a first date. Do you really want to broadcast to your date that you like to drink? Do you want to be with someone who likes to drink? Personally, I'm with Courtney on this one, and I was of the same mind when I was dating. Comedy show - You asked who could be offended by a comedy show, and the answer is just about anybody! Maybe this is the difference between what's available in Cleveland or Akron or wherever in Ohio you live and the New York City comedy club scene that I was introduced to in college, but I can tell you that some of what's on stage in those NYC clubs can be pretty edgy. Besides that, almost everyone has some triggers. If you're cracking up when the comedian starts in with jokes about handicapped people, and it turns out your date has a sibling with Down's Syndrome, then that first date is likely to turn into your last date very quickly. So, if you choose to take a date to a comedy show, you'd better know your comedian's material well and know your date's tastes even better.
Generally don't go to drinks by itself as a date unless the woman suggests it (I like doing dinner and getting a drink at dinner). HOWEVER, I view drinks as a first date as a good way to vibe check as the date is happening. First: a lot of people get very nervous on dates and alcohol is something that helps with nerves and inhibitions, this helps people loosen up. You get one drink, see how things are going. If the date is going well, maybe we get a 2nd drink - for me (guy's pov), if a girl feels comfortable enough to get a 2nd drink, then I know that it's going pretty well. If she doesn't want to get a 2nd drink, or I don't want to get a 2nd drink, it means either one or both of us are neutral to negative about the date overall, and that's great too, at least we know! TLDR: it's a nice way to kinda organically understand the vibes of the date in the moment.
Great list! Coffee or picnic is the way to go for first date. If she wants dinner on the first date, she wants free food. She doesn’t want to get to know you.
🎯 Key points for quick navigation: 00:00 *🎙️ Introduction and Purpose of the Tier List* - This section introduces the concept of ranking first date ideas from a woman's perspective. - The host emphasizes her intent to provide insights into common and controversial first date options. - The video aims to dissect varying opinions surrounding first date choices. 00:29 *☕ Coffee Dates: A Controversial Choice* - Coffee dates can be seen as casual and low-pressure options but may come off as low effort. - The host believes a coffee date allows for natural conversation without heavy food distractions. - While some women decry coffee dates, the host sees value in their relaxed atmosphere. - She ranks coffee dates in A tier. 02:07 *🚶♂️ Walks: Pros and Cons* - A simple walk on its own can lack engagement unless paired with something else. - The discussion touches on woman’s preference for more engaging and less casual first date options. - The host suggests combining walking with other activities for a better experience. - She ranks a solo walk in C tier. 03:30 *🎬 The Movie Theater First Date* - The host strongly advises against movie theaters for first dates due to lack of interaction. - Movies impede conversation, crucial for getting to know a partner. - The atmosphere creates anxiety, making it unsuitable for initial meetings. - The movie theater is placed in F tier. 04:41 *🍽️ Formal Meals: Expectations and Stress* - Formal meals can create unrealistic expectations and added pressure. - The host views pricey, formal dining as better suited for later dates when connections are established. - Due to budgetary constraints and pressure, she ranks it in B tier. 06:47 *🥞 Informal Meals: A Better Option* - Informal dates like brunch present a relaxed environment and opportunities for conversation. - The menu can serve as a conversational tool, enhancing the date experience. - She ranks informal meals in S tier for a charming atmosphere and ease of discussion. 08:53 *👪 Family Functions: A No-Go* - The host dismisses family gatherings as inappropriate for first dates. - First dates should focus on the couple, not involve family dynamics. - She places family functions in F tier. 10:05 *🎨 Guided Exhibits: Great First Date Choice* - Museums and similar environments provide engaging talking points that facilitate conversation. - The interactive nature allows couples to bond over shared interests. - This option earns an S tier ranking due to its conducive atmosphere for dialogue. 11:15 *🏡 Home Dates: Safety Concerns* - Inviting someone to one's home presents safety risks and may seem low effort. - Public places are preferred for initial meetings to ensure comfort and security. - This date type is ranked in F tier as it raises significant safety concerns. 12:53 *🥾 Hiking: Risks and Reluctance* - Hiking can be unsafe for first encounters, especially in secluded areas. - The host emphasizes the need for public settings to ensure comfort and safety. - Hiking is placed in D tier due to safety reservations. 14:45 *👫 Group Dates: Lack of Focus* - Group outings dilute attention to the partner and may imply friendship rather than romantic interest. - Initial dates should prioritize personal connection over socializing in large groups. - Group dates are ranked in D tier. 15:55 *🎤 Concerts: Mixed Bag Experience* - Concerts can improve the date experience if paired with other activities like dinner. - Audience interaction is possible, providing opportunities for connection. - Concerts score in C tier when done solo but can elevate with proper pairing. 16:51 *😂 Comedy Shows: Enjoyable Yet Risky* - Comedy shows can foster fun and connection but come with the risk of humor mismatches. - The interactive experience allows some room for conversation, making it better than movies. - The host places it in B tier, appreciating shared laughter while cautioning against complete reliance on humor compatibility. 00:18:01 *🎶 Comparison of Concerts and Comedy Shows as First Date Ideas* - Concerts and comedy shows are seen as comparable date options, both being conducive to bonding. - They can be paired effectively with other activities to enhance the date experience. - Personal preferences may vary, but both remain preferable over less engaging dates. 00:19:51 *🏋️♀️ Gym Dates: Pros and Cons* - The gym is viewed as an unorthodox and potentially uncomfortable first date venue. - The setting allows for conversation but might lead to awkwardness and distractions due to physical exertion. - Public safety is a plus, but it's better suited for later dates after initial connection has been established. 00:20:58 *🍷 Drink Dates and Their Challenges* - Drink dates can lead to negative outcomes if alcohol consumption isn't moderated. - It's important to remain sober and responsible to ensure clear communication. - A combination of drinks with food is recommended for a more balanced experience. 00:22:54 *🎢 Amusement Parks: Risks vs. Rewards* - Amusement parks are entertaining but come with high costs and time commitments. - Stuck in long lines can lead to an uncomfortable experience if there isn’t a good connection. - They can be fun if both parties are already compatible and enjoy that environment. 00:24:04 *🛍️ Shopping as a Date: Context Matters* - Shopping can be perceived negatively, indicating ulterior motives if not paired with other activities. - Positive experiences can occur when shopping is an extension of another date element, like brunch. - The context of the shopping date will significantly influence its success. 00:26:09 *🏟️ Sporting Events: A Potential Connection* - Sporting events offer a unique atmosphere to connect over shared interests, particularly for sports enthusiasts. - They encourage conversation while providing entertainment, though loud environments can hinder deeper discussions. - Audience expectations and personal interests play a crucial role in the event's suitability for a first date. Made with HARPA AI
I'm guessing that most women get so much attention on dating apps, that they just automatically filter out the coffee dates as low effort or cheap because the chance she'll get a more expensive date out of someone else is high.
Probably dating for the wrong reasons then. Not looking to find someone, just looking to get a free meal/stuff. How much a man is willing to spend often does not equate to how much she will actually enjoy herself.
First date types are also a chance to weed out potential mismatches. Personally I prefer a walk or hike for a first date. Usually somewhere more public. Often it does turn into a meal as well. I find a woman that isn’t interested in doing something outdoors probably not my type.
My piece of advice is to know your area, know your options. Know where the best places to eat, hang out, all entertainment options, hidden jems, activities, events, everything. Doing your homework ahead of time will set you up for success.
If coffee/tea sounds boring, invite her for a Swedish Fika. It's a drink (coffee/tea/juice) and pastry, with a cozy feel. It's very similar, but sounds exotic.
Loved this tier list video!! Saved a photo of it for reference. 🥰👏 Enjoyed hearing more about how you and your husband met, and your first date experience. Would be cool to hear more of your story! ❤💞
I tend to do two-tier first dates now. If it goes poorly you can stop after coffee, museum, dinner, etc. If it goes well, then can walk to ice cream or drinks or a show, etc.
First date: casual, low pressure, easy to leave if need be. drinks at a lounge or wine bar to lube up conversation. a bottle of wine shared or cocktails. 2 drinks max. or coffee on a weekend morning. Second date: an activity. museum, ax throwing, mini golf, art class, casual minor league sports game where you don't really care about the game, any event going on in your area. third date: start to get intimate. dinner at your place where you can show off your cooking skills (if need be, get some cooking skills) or cook something together. of course everything is about how youre feeling each other and your comfort level. but this is my general guide.
You should do this tier-list video but about dating profiles. With a couple of your female friends to see what sticks, it would be an incredibly valuable thing to see
Since dating profile opinions are usually very personal, but you are the kind of woman who I believe most guys would want to optimize their profiles for, when looking for a healthy conscious and traditional relationship ☺️
Thanks, I didn't know about shopping dates ! So it depend of the intentions. I always thought fancy date were the only things one should do, but now I will implement informal restaurant and interactive activities. Thanks !
Hey! So, I’ve recently decided to dip my toes back into the dating pool after a long break and, honestly, I haven’t given much thought to the details of a first date in a while. I work remotely in the Pacific Northwest for a DC-based consulting group, so I don’t get out much. Plus, my line of work means I don’t use social media and I’m a bit cautious about putting my preferences out there on dating apps. Here’s my idea: start with a coffee date at a locally-owned artisan coffee shop. It would set the stage for substantive and engaging conversation and help me tell the difference between someone who’s all looks and no substance, and someone who’s svelte, elegant, and genuinely interesting. If it’s the latter, we could head out for a walk in the International Rose Test Garden, and if we’re still feeling it, maybe wrap up with happy hour at a local foodie hot spot. If it’s the former, well, at least I’ve only invested an hour!
Hi Courtney! First Date Tier List (From A Man's Perspective) S Tier- Informal Meal, picnic, arcade/mini golf A Tier- Coffee/ice Cream/smoothie B Tier- Museum C Tier- walk, *church D Tier- Amusement Park, concert, comedy show, hiking F Tier- Movies, Family function/friend date, your house, bar/drinks, shopping, sporting event, formal meal, gym
Coffee 1st date is my go-to. But also good is Sunday afternoon drinks at a spot with a nice beer garden; pick a sunny day around 4pm. The time is not accidental - it means you/she can still fit in an activity you/she may already have on earlier. And 4pm means you aren't buying lunch or dinner. 😆 It's also more relaxed and 'safe' than evening drinks at a bar, where there's more of an implied 'progression'. And she's not walking around by herself at night.
You go for a coffee date or local restaurant, have back up plans for extending if necessary. Ice cream, walk on local pier, visit farmers market, go feed ducks and geese just think before the date of multiple options.
Never understood the hate for the coffee date. We've all been on a disasterous first date that involved a meal you couldn't just walk away from. I'd much rather spend 30-40minutes at a nice coffee spot. Lower pressure, easy to leave or extend your time together and doesn't break the bank
I went on a first date with a girl to a concert at a large amphitheater (Billy Joel - so you now know how long ago this was). It was a great time. Getting out of the grass parking was normally a nightmare, but we ended up just talking for two hours and then realized we were virtually the only ones left and could just drive out no problem. We laughed quite a bit about it. It really depends on chemistry. I went on another first date years after to a Mexican restaurant with a girl whose greatest ambition in life was to buy the house next door to her parents. I had to shut that down soon afterwards. That was chemistry working as well.
I met my wife (who's from Canada) online (I'm from the UK). Our first date consisted of her flying to England and staying the night in a spare room at my parents house where I lived, and then we did a whole day out in London, seeing all the sights. I then took her on a 5hr car trip down to Cornwall in the South West of England for a 5 day holiday, followed by a weekend in Paris........I think I overdid it. 😂😂😂. She still married me though.
I prefer coffee date first. I like to test the connection before jumping into anything too intimate. I totally agree with you on the family function/event! I was talking to a guy and he invited me to his sister’s bday party. This would have been our first time meeting irl. I was not expecting that as a first meet 😅
Here's a thought that I'm struggling with. Why is there such demonization of "low effort" dates at all? Hot take, I actually want to enjoy my time on a date! If it's stressful, complex, expensive, etc., I'm not having fun and I'm not gonna be a good date partner. If the date is low effort, I'm gonna be in a better mood, less stressed, more easy to bond with. Visiting a coffee shop, taking a nature stroll, or doing some kind of mutual hobby together are my top choices. I didn't think about picnics, but sure, we'll add that one as well :) Anything with large crowds, loud noises, or alcohol is an immediate "no" for me. I wish dating could be a relief/repose from stress, but it seems like the entire universe thinks otherwise.
My girlfriend and I took her dog to a park for a walk for our first date. I brought a frisbee but her dog had no interest in playing with it, so it wound up being a water dish instead, and we both laughed when our safety check in people checked in with both of us within a minute of each other. Almost ten years together now, it worked out great.
The perfect first date is a pub or an informal meal like an Italian cantina, or a sport bar. It always work for me, and beer or wine teases both of us.
If a perfect stranger is mad that you didn't spend a fortune entertaining her, then she isn't for you.
Sure, but reality is that the expectation standard is there and women now prefer to share elite men than have a less elite man to themselves.
Agreed lol
That's just sad. No wonder they stay single @@jfkst1
Yup, those kind of girls are high value and want more.
@@ponokunishima1 or at least those kind of girl - think - they're high value.
First date; coffee or a walk. In a large percentage of first dates, the dude will never see the lady again, so control what you spend.
You don't owe total strangers half a week's wage.
Most of Courtney's date ideas are about 'getting to know each other,' and that translates to job interview or boring small talk, talking about random stuff that no one cares about. I believe that the most important purpose of a date is to have fun, beside getting to know each other. For example, playing games like pool, mini-golf or shared interests like a workout date. Most people would much rather continue to date the person who they have the most fun with.
@@coldsteel9420 You said first dates should be about “fun”, and your first example of an activity was pool. In my opinion, pool is about as fun as slamming your head against drywall. At the end of the day, what you find enjoyable on a date, someone has a completely different idea of fun.
Could not agree more. 👌 That was why I was so shocked when going for a walk got C tier!
It's a good way to screen out gold diggers😅
Yep, never invest more than her in time or money, especially in the beginning. They are too flaky to be investing more than they're willing to.
S Tier- Informal Meal, Museum/Zoo/Aquarium,
A Tier- Coffee
B Tier- Formal Meal, Comedy Show, Sporting Event
C Tier- Walk, Concert, Bar/Drinks Only, Amusement Park, Shopping
D Tier- Hiking, Group/Friend Date
F Tier- Movie, Family Function, Your House
Thank you!
'Your House' is def F tier.
F boy tier lol
She moved concert up to B tier
Legend for doing this 🔥
Thank you very much
First date should be simple, inexpensive, and extendible. That way:
1.) If it sucks, you bail out quickly. For example, if it's a coffee date, you take the coffee to go and get the heck out of there.
2.) If it's going okay, you can add on to it. For example if it's an ice cream date and there's a rail trail nearby, go for a stroll on the rail trail.
Simply put, the first date is to get to know someone. It should not cost hundreds of dollars. If it does she should move to the Klondike because she's a gold digger.
I agree with this. Definitely like coffee since it's inexpensive and I always have a nervous stomach when meeting someone for the first time, so I am not a huge fan of meals for a first date.
women barely acknowledge this.
Exactly. Going to a super nice place is just try hard and comes across as approval-seeking. At the end of the day, the guy should be seeing if he's into the girl just as much as she is w/ him. I like drinks, if the girl drinks, because if you sit at the bar (and you should) it doesn't feel like an interview. And if the girl is into you she will lean in and let you know w/ body language. If it's not going well you can bail easily. If it's going well you can easily transition to anything, even dinner. The great thing about drinks is you can tailor it to any kind of vibe you want. I would probably not choose a dive bar, but for the right girl...that's the perfect first date because it can be interesting!
What happens if her ex was there? What do you do?
Most of Courtney's date ideas are about 'getting to know each other,' and that translates to job interview or boring small talk, talking about random stuff that no one cares about. I believe that the most important purpose of a date is to have fun, beside getting to know each other. For example, playing games like pool, mini-golf or shared interests like a workout date. Most people would much rather continue to date the person who they have the most fun with.
I took someone to an ice cream shop for a first date once. Easily accessible, casual, and fun. Second date was a board game cafe and that was a great time as well. Highly recommend those if available
Escape rooms are fun too; builds and tests connections and destroy friendships lol
Gonna add Axe throwing here as well! It's fun, low pressure, and a little bit different!
Sooo cute!
@@grants5383 what about Gun Shooting?
bowling is also fun
“Do you really want to be getting sweaty, out of breath, unable to talk to each other…” Lady; you just described the entire reason I’m on this date!
Exactly. Does she not have bdroom fun?
Ha! Exactly!
😂 If it's a one night stand then that is a very different "getting to know someone" kinda date. 😂
Mambo Class literally going sideways lol
I think a good one to add would be a friendly competition date: Bowling, Mini-golf, Arcade, things of that nature. As long as it is something you both really enjoy.
Sumo Suit Wrestling?
@@BRUCE_the_MOOSE_ 🤣
Talking during a movie: straight to jail. Hilarious!
😂
For a first date, yes I agree. When she says “straight to jail” cracks me up haha
I agree. Movies theaters are sacred.
I'm someone who chronically talks during movies (ESPECIALLY "Well in the books they actually") and I approve this message
MUSEUM - I have found museum and coffee or museum and lunch is a great first date. It’s easy to talk as you walk around and conversation keeps flowing because you can always talk about the art when you’re not sharing about yourselves. Public space. Admission is usually affordable and better museums will have a cafe and a gift shop as well.
This is a good gem, I think what’s missing from a lot of good/great dates is flow and this certainly helps creates that
I'd put zoo and arboretum in the same category. Excellent choice.
A forensic or anatomy museum is well appreciated!
Yep, Coffee + Museum = Always good results
I end all my first dates with a walk.
Me walking back to my car, alone.
Broke, but never broken.
Soldier on fellas.
Anyone complaining that something casual and little to no pressure is no effort shouldn't be dating period! I'd combine a walk with either coffee or farmer's market, etc.
Love that!
Holiday light displays are another great idea
@@mikeklein1779considering that's coming up, yes! And go somewhere after
@@mikeklein1779 I love that! So cute!
@@CourtneyRyan How should we respond if she says that a gentleman would take her to a high-end restaurant?
Let’s be clear; women who demand a 5 star restaurant for the first date have zero interest in the guy; they’re looking for a simp to exploit on a foodie call.
Don't forget bowling and arcades. I took my date to both of these and she had a great time! Definitely should be s rank for both of these.
I took a friend bowling and it became our first date. Next I took her apple picking (it was that time of year). That was a fun thing to do.
I'm a good bowler, so that looked good. Then apple picking was fun picking her up to reach higher apples, plus there were animals and treats and all that stuff.
I took someone out on a date to an arcade/bowling ally, and it was very loud and hard to hear each other. So I have to disagree unless you already know each other and just want to have fun. And I'd also add that this date activity might be more fun as a double date.
After a first marriage that went 20 years and another marriage I went 16 years, I was dating again and decided I didn't know anything about it. I started listening to people like you and I am forever grateful. Everything you say in this video is good advice!
FYI, I proposed meeting at a Starbucks. I did this several times. When they replied why Starbucks, and sometimes said they did not drink coffee, I gave the following reasons:
1. It's busy enough that neither one of us will feel like we are sticking out like a sore thumb;
2. We should find a nice place to sit down so we can have a nice visit;
3. It's not so noisy we can't have a good conversation;
3 1/2 there will be an exit door on either side of us so if either one of us feel we needed to get away quickly we could do that.
Not a single girl turned me down on this first date option
Starbucks isn't terrible, but it's a little bit boring. An independent cafe or coffee shop in a nice location where you could go for a nice walk after would probably go down a lot better.
OG Stud moves! Well done. Dude - don’t get married, again. Three times isn’t a charm.
Only Americans would complain that meeting up for a coffee - the gold standard, low stakes, great-way-to-get-to-know-someone hangout - is "low effort" or "shows that a person just sees you as a friend."
Right lol I think it’s cute!
Not just the US - most of the Western world's women would say it's insufficient.
This country is over.
Let's sit in a busy cafe for 15 minutes until someone gets the coffee poops and has to leave.
More appropriately, American women. I think most men would be fine with it.
You should dress as Morticia Addams for Halloween.
😂🖤
@@CourtneyRyan Then the husband would have to be Gomez.
I second this
Absolutely
Yeah man she even looks like her that black white version one no wonder she looked familiar 😅
Went on a coffee date and went to the antique shop across the street for a first date. It was awesome, would recommend.
Great video, Courtney! It's always helpful to hear different perspectives on first date ideas. I agree that individual preferences and the specific person you're with should be the biggest factors.
🥰👏🏼
I agree with her. Coffee date first.
I love a coffee date!
@@CourtneyRyan You'd bone after a coffee date?
Coffee dates are great for starting friendships!
@@alohayoutube Why would a coffee date be more likely to cause you to be friendzoned?
@@RobertTaylor-gz2fu Coz aloha ain't got no game my man.
One way I elevate my coffee dates is to check out small business cafe's. That way, its different for her (not a Starbucks) and we are supporting local!
Coffee date - I told my date to meet me for coffee, and said if she was still enjoying herself after a cup, we could continue for an outing with my dog at the beach. After that we had lunch. After that we went to my place for a glass of wine. She said it was the best first date ever.
So all those women who shun coffee dates missed out.
Love this!
Did you get any action?
@@RobertTaylor-gz2fu I'll never tell. 😜
A girl who really likes you isn't going to put any conditions on where you go. If she demands to go to a certain place, it means she's just trying to use you for your money. She'll gladly order takeout to bring home to the guy she's hooking up with who doesn't have to take her on any dates. I know because I've been that guy waiting at home.
Controversial opinion: The better you are at conversation, the better a stripped down date is. Walking is fine if you can find topics to discuss and engage in.
From a female perspective I appreciate your videos so much, thank you! I agree with all of what you say and hope that the men are watching, listening & learning 💯‼️
I've got to throw in my favorite first date idea: going to an arcade!
$20 can get you hours of fun at an arcade, and you can make it last as long as you want. There are sooo many things to talk about there, and it's also easy to talk over whatever you're doing to get to know each other better. It's perfect if you're both competitive, or you can work together on games if not. If they're not into video games, you've still got ski ball, pinball, air hockey, basketball, etc. EVERYONE can find something they enjoy at an arcade. Then you can trade in your tickets for matching prizes as memories of the date if it goes well.
I had great success recently with a board/card game picnic too. You both bring your favorite games and snacks.
Thank you for tier List, Courtney.😮
A video on how to approach women and ask for her number would be good. Thank you.😅
❤️❤️
Walks are highly underrated imo. I think we forget that's how courtship used to happen for hundreds of years before all the fancy stuff. Just wanted to point that out.
This is so helpful thanks!
I think combinations of those seperat Dating situstions make a big difference, rather than looking at them all seperatly.
Totally!!
"Low effort" such a modern women comment. The point of a date is that your interested in the other person... not how can he impress me
I love tuning in because your voice for this is 100% perfect and you also aren't petty or mean. However you are doing your audio is dead on! Plus it is fun to hear thoughts about dating and people interacting.
I reckon you were pretty spot on with your choices. I had a first date that we went out for a casual meal and then while walking around, went into a second-hand store full of cool old stuff, similar to your shopping experience.
12:05 my girlfriend wanted to fly to visit me as soon as possible. I knew her parents would dissaprove, but I’m not so stupid as to reject her idea, instead I found the passport information for her, and told her to ask her parents for help with documentation. She said they thought it would be best if I visited first. And I just agreed with her parents 😂 it showed me supportive of her ideas while also being accepting of her family and concerned about her safety traveling somewhere alone. Then I lamented how badly I wanted to see her and that I’d be able to visit in February. I just farmed wins with that one.
Most of Courtney's date ideas are about 'getting to know each other,' and that translates to job interview or boring small talk, talking about random stuff that no one cares about. I believe that the most important purpose of a date is to have fun, beside getting to know each other. For example, playing games like pool, mini-golf or shared interests like a workout date. Most people would much rather continue to date the person who they have the most fun with.
I've found coffee to be the best first date. Not expensive, relaxed environment, and can extend/cut short if it isn't going well. The only issue with it is that it's not great for weekdays after work since a lot of people don't want to have caffeine in the evenings. I really don't drink so I tend to avoid drinks.
All true!
How do you react to women who expect/demand you take them to a high-end restaurant & pay for everything?
@@RobertTaylor-gz2fu Again...abandon them from your life. Have self-respect.
@@RobertTaylor-gz2fu Would never go to dinner for a first date, unless I knew the person for a while. I would simply move on to someone else.
For a first date, you want to maximize conversation time and minimize distractions. That means coffee, drinks, and walk should be at the top, and movie, concert, comedy show, and sports should be at the bottom. In those four bottom ones, they all involve an active real-time presentation you're supposed to be following along, and they all involve noise that could drown out or otherwise conflict with conversation. Zoo/museum could actually be a nice balance because there's space to talk but there's also a passive conversation piece to talk about, though you'd want to make sure everyone is actually interested in what the place is offering.
Ice skating at an outdoor rink has been my go to
Oh that’s so fun!
Guys best first date I’ve ever conducted: carving pumpkins in the park while sipping apple cider. Girls like festive stuff
One i love to do is an antique mall or shop like that. It can bring back memories for people if they see something nostalgic and you can see things that make them warm and fuzzy. Also, you can gather senses of style with furniture or clothing which can be an interesting peek into them too and how it aligns or clashes with yours.
Antique mall is a great idea.
3:00 you mentioned a walk, coffee & brunch as S tier.
My last first date was coffee with her and one of her friends, a walk (it was fall) in a beautiful (very public) park and then a nice informal meal together. We’ve now been married for 25 years and still going strong. S tier confirmed! ❤
I really appreciate your content Courtney. Your videos have helped me develop a more mature approach to dating which is something I’ve struggled to figure out before. Thank you 🙏
@CourtneyRyan Where would you rank watching the sunset on the beach for a first date?
I live near the ocean and it’s my go-to first date. I usually bring a blanket so we can sit together and if the first few minutes go well I pull a bottle of my favorite wine out of my bag and ask if she’d like a glass. If the conversation goes well, we could extend the date or plan a second date.
This date has always worked well for me, and even if it’s not a love connection it’s a nice way to spend some time with someone new.
I highly recommend the following if they are available in your area: train trolley trips, horse-drawn carriages, tour boats, and tour buses. You can sit and chat while enjoying the view.
Very cute date ideas
Having an adventure is a great way to build chemistry before. See her earlier, other video on excitement and how it makes you fall in love.
It's also just fun! It doesn't have to be expensive, just do something adventurous like roller coasters, snorkeling, a skatepark, zip lining, exotic new food, etc. where you can both feel that rush and start to fall in love.
My last successful first dates were:
- a picnic on a green meadow with a view of the mountains
- a visit to an amusement park (with lots of candy floss - the stuff was sticky everywhere)
- a visit to a special medical exhibition (she was a surgeon)
- a ride in a horse-drawn carriage (including a heated blanket and a picnic basket with champagne) through the city center on a cold day
- a ride in a vintage convertible to a popular spiritual place
- a visit to the Viktualienmarkt in Munich (high-quality food and drinks everywhere, but also very crowded)
For me
1. coffee and art gallery or museum will be fine.. and
2. informal meal + zoo/something similar.
3. Shopping + Coffee ☕
First date is always active, it's great at weeding out sedentary people. Frisbee golf is a great way to spend time with someone new. Outside, casual, walking, recognizing how difficult frisbee golf is and laughing about it. You can always offer to remove some of the burrs if they can't reach them. If it is a one and done, you both probably still had some fun and got your steps in for the day. If it's a good time and you enjoy each other's company, you can ask if she would like to spend some more time getting to know each other over the picnic basket that you prepared (just in case).
I've played frisbee golf many times, have a set of discs, but never thought of it as a date idea. Good one.
I think you graded the dates excellently. I like that you bare in mind that it's better to be safe than sorry. I look forward to more content, thank you very much for the content, and God Bless you, Courtney
My first date with my current gf was going to a dancing social. I've practicing Salsa en Bachata for over a year and she loved it! It's very rare for a girl/ woman te see a guy who likes to dance!
I like grabbing coffee at a small, tasteful cafe, stay or go, take a short stroll through a historic area to an art exhibit & then decide on light fare food or drinks. Tapas or sushi are great for sharing & discussion. If you go for drinks & get tipsy, know a cute late night diner as an option. Ya just need to study your surroundings & date logistics
Game spots can be great too. Does she like bowling, pinball or even go karts? Fun & playful competition or team effort wins
I agree with most of your points. But a few days ago i met a woman to a first date (we knew us). We cooked together and watched movies til the night and it was very great for both of us
Best first date: Meet at a Barnes and Noble. Each of you go get 5 books that describe a different part of your personality/life. Meet back up in 15ish minutes. Get coffee/tea. Take turns sharing books. Ask lots of questions and really get to know the person.
BONUS: You now have 5 ideas for your next 5 dates that you know she'll like.
Also I love tier lists. So I will gobble all tier list videos up
They are so fun! 😂
I just wanted to say thank you for all the content you out. After these years of watching you I've learned a lot. I've never once used any of this in my own personal life because ME but I appreciate all you do for everyone who watches. Even my ex from years ago (friends for a decade before dating) thinks you are amazing.
It depends on the class of woman a man takes out. Based on experience, upper middle-class women enjoy low cost dates that involves arts, museums, coffee, and even strolls. Whereas working-class or lower-class women demand expensive dates with activities outside their own budget, etc.
If you're a middle-class gentleman, never date working-class women. Date within your class.
Effort and pressure go hand and hand. You can't have the former without the latter.
Largely agree. Biggest thing is that you want it to be something you can talk, doesn’t involve excessive spending and is easy to have an out if things don’t look good for safety.
The best first date I ever took a girl on has to be ballroom dancing. Granted, I had been taking classes for a couple of years at that point, but it's great because it shows the girl you can lead and it helps break the touch barrier very quickly.
my thoughts (at least from what I have here on our side of the planet)
if a first date setting is over a meal, order something that is served in quick small bites… like a couple of appetizers, or something snack-sized… that way, both can have a conversation without being distracted by a spoonful of food…
Japanese restaurants can be a good start, specially those that serve sushi, sashimi, maki, tempura, miso soup and tea…
done right it definitely can get lovely…
We gotta have. Winter date tier list
👀 good idea!
Let’s make it happen, Courtney. The tier list needs to be seasonal
Depends where you live. If I the upper Midwest skip the date and wait until spring.
@@CourtneyRyanIce Skating!!
My first date with my GF : Coffee together for 1 hour, after that 2 hours in the Museum at the end she wanted to continue to talk, so we walk for 2 hours.
Coffee date for a safe bet, museum is great but depend on the woman tastes.
What I love is sushi or Korean bbq. Much slower to eat with more room to talk, can share dishes to see what each other likes, can cook for one another with the bbq, variety of choices.
Don’t get me started with “Cheesecake Factory” meme from years prior 😂
Oh I LOVE this! Korean bbq is so fun
Cheesecake factory is the best first date if both ya'll love cheesecake!
I don't know about eating BBQ. I get messy as heck. I don't if I would want a woman to get distracted with that. lol
@@OptimisticRealizer bro. Thats sounds like something you need to work on. Respectfully 😭. Dinner manners are a must for first impressions. I know what you mean, but it’s easy to eat slowly and clean your mess as you go.
I think exotic food in general is dope.
Your right men don't factor in the safety thing enough. I know I sure didn't and one time I took a girl to a park and it was late evening. She ended up calling her friend at one point. It wasn't a first date, but still something I didn't really think about.
Oh, I know. And if you're carrying a shovel, don't women just freak out?
13:26
On this, a tip:
I highly recommend PDA's on 1st (or 2nd) dates.
Kissing her when there's other people around (but not right next to you, lol) creates an opportunity for her to give you a test-run, safely.
I'm still on the 'Have a first date' stage. Yes, you read that right, I've never been on a date before. Mostly because, during my school years, I was ridiculously shy and I had a lot of trouble working up the nerve to approach people. My best friend was the one who approached me first during Year 5 (4th Grade).
Edit: That shyness hasn’t really dissipated yet, unfortunately. I think I’d probably only approach a woman to ask her on a date if I got to know her beforehand as friends, over a period of a few months maybe at the least.
I was watching an interview on tv and a super attractive movie star- mid 20s- said she had never been on a date in her life. So you may be in good company.
@@Lawrence_writer Well, that made me feel a bit better, knowing that it’s not just me who struggles with these things. Helps me feel a little bit less alone.
Dr. K of HealthyGamerGG once did a video called "The Real Reason You Don't Get A Second Date" where he goes over his knowledge on romantic attraction and relationships from a psychological perspective. In it, he describes how a first date should elicit some shared emotional response (i.e. an experience y'all can bond over, so something like a shared activity that's exciting - talks about the rickety bridge experiment), shouldn't go on for too long (he talks about how it should be 90 minutes, that's apparently the "sweet spot" for romantic attraction without going on so long that you dip back into platonic interest territory), and ideally shouldn't be an interview. That last one is interesting, because he pretty much outright disrecommends things like coffee or meals as a first date, since all you can do is ask questions and answer them, which can become socially tiresome. If you get a chance to watch that video (uploaded about 9 months ago), I'd love to hear your thoughts on the insights he provides! Whether you agree with them, disagree with them, etc.
I'm a fan of tiered first dates. It takes a bit more planning. but follow me here. Plan to have dinner but first meet for drinks. If it goes south quick, then have a drink and bail. If it goes well enough, have dinner. and so on.
So your afternoon could look like coffee and bail. or coffee, then dinner, then walking around the area and having desserts and then maybe a bar after that etc.
These are my go to ideas that I’ve had decent success with for a first date. Also pair these with a coffee or casual lunch at cafe or family diner. Relatively inexpensive and great way to keep conversation going/flirt. Also relatively public so she will feel safe and likely less anxious.
- Farmers market
- County Fair
- Mini Golf
- Bowling
- Art Gallery
- Aquarium
- Museum
I always take her to my favorite local bar where they introduce me as the musical act and I play 'jazz flute.' Gets em every time.
Only commenting on two. Drinks - Back when I was single, I picked up a great, if obvious, piece of advice. If you meet someone in a bar, then you already know one thing about them, and that's that they like to drink. That, in and of itself, may be a turn-on or a turn-off for you, depending on your feelings about drinking, and the same applies to a first date. Do you really want to broadcast to your date that you like to drink? Do you want to be with someone who likes to drink? Personally, I'm with Courtney on this one, and I was of the same mind when I was dating. Comedy show - You asked who could be offended by a comedy show, and the answer is just about anybody! Maybe this is the difference between what's available in Cleveland or Akron or wherever in Ohio you live and the New York City comedy club scene that I was introduced to in college, but I can tell you that some of what's on stage in those NYC clubs can be pretty edgy. Besides that, almost everyone has some triggers. If you're cracking up when the comedian starts in with jokes about handicapped people, and it turns out your date has a sibling with Down's Syndrome, then that first date is likely to turn into your last date very quickly. So, if you choose to take a date to a comedy show, you'd better know your comedian's material well and know your date's tastes even better.
Generally don't go to drinks by itself as a date unless the woman suggests it (I like doing dinner and getting a drink at dinner). HOWEVER, I view drinks as a first date as a good way to vibe check as the date is happening. First: a lot of people get very nervous on dates and alcohol is something that helps with nerves and inhibitions, this helps people loosen up. You get one drink, see how things are going. If the date is going well, maybe we get a 2nd drink - for me (guy's pov), if a girl feels comfortable enough to get a 2nd drink, then I know that it's going pretty well. If she doesn't want to get a 2nd drink, or I don't want to get a 2nd drink, it means either one or both of us are neutral to negative about the date overall, and that's great too, at least we know!
TLDR: it's a nice way to kinda organically understand the vibes of the date in the moment.
I like drinks too, but I am English...
Please make a video tailored to the man that has his looks,style, and financials together on how to approach women and get their number for a date.
Great list! Coffee or picnic is the way to go for first date. If she wants dinner on the first date, she wants free food. She doesn’t want to get to know you.
Great idea. Can you do a cologne / perfume tier list and possibly an outfit/shoe tier list?
🎯 Key points for quick navigation:
00:00 *🎙️ Introduction and Purpose of the Tier List*
- This section introduces the concept of ranking first date ideas from a woman's perspective.
- The host emphasizes her intent to provide insights into common and controversial first date options.
- The video aims to dissect varying opinions surrounding first date choices.
00:29 *☕ Coffee Dates: A Controversial Choice*
- Coffee dates can be seen as casual and low-pressure options but may come off as low effort.
- The host believes a coffee date allows for natural conversation without heavy food distractions.
- While some women decry coffee dates, the host sees value in their relaxed atmosphere.
- She ranks coffee dates in A tier.
02:07 *🚶♂️ Walks: Pros and Cons*
- A simple walk on its own can lack engagement unless paired with something else.
- The discussion touches on woman’s preference for more engaging and less casual first date options.
- The host suggests combining walking with other activities for a better experience.
- She ranks a solo walk in C tier.
03:30 *🎬 The Movie Theater First Date*
- The host strongly advises against movie theaters for first dates due to lack of interaction.
- Movies impede conversation, crucial for getting to know a partner.
- The atmosphere creates anxiety, making it unsuitable for initial meetings.
- The movie theater is placed in F tier.
04:41 *🍽️ Formal Meals: Expectations and Stress*
- Formal meals can create unrealistic expectations and added pressure.
- The host views pricey, formal dining as better suited for later dates when connections are established.
- Due to budgetary constraints and pressure, she ranks it in B tier.
06:47 *🥞 Informal Meals: A Better Option*
- Informal dates like brunch present a relaxed environment and opportunities for conversation.
- The menu can serve as a conversational tool, enhancing the date experience.
- She ranks informal meals in S tier for a charming atmosphere and ease of discussion.
08:53 *👪 Family Functions: A No-Go*
- The host dismisses family gatherings as inappropriate for first dates.
- First dates should focus on the couple, not involve family dynamics.
- She places family functions in F tier.
10:05 *🎨 Guided Exhibits: Great First Date Choice*
- Museums and similar environments provide engaging talking points that facilitate conversation.
- The interactive nature allows couples to bond over shared interests.
- This option earns an S tier ranking due to its conducive atmosphere for dialogue.
11:15 *🏡 Home Dates: Safety Concerns*
- Inviting someone to one's home presents safety risks and may seem low effort.
- Public places are preferred for initial meetings to ensure comfort and security.
- This date type is ranked in F tier as it raises significant safety concerns.
12:53 *🥾 Hiking: Risks and Reluctance*
- Hiking can be unsafe for first encounters, especially in secluded areas.
- The host emphasizes the need for public settings to ensure comfort and safety.
- Hiking is placed in D tier due to safety reservations.
14:45 *👫 Group Dates: Lack of Focus*
- Group outings dilute attention to the partner and may imply friendship rather than romantic interest.
- Initial dates should prioritize personal connection over socializing in large groups.
- Group dates are ranked in D tier.
15:55 *🎤 Concerts: Mixed Bag Experience*
- Concerts can improve the date experience if paired with other activities like dinner.
- Audience interaction is possible, providing opportunities for connection.
- Concerts score in C tier when done solo but can elevate with proper pairing.
16:51 *😂 Comedy Shows: Enjoyable Yet Risky*
- Comedy shows can foster fun and connection but come with the risk of humor mismatches.
- The interactive experience allows some room for conversation, making it better than movies.
- The host places it in B tier, appreciating shared laughter while cautioning against complete reliance on humor compatibility.
00:18:01 *🎶 Comparison of Concerts and Comedy Shows as First Date Ideas*
- Concerts and comedy shows are seen as comparable date options, both being conducive to bonding.
- They can be paired effectively with other activities to enhance the date experience.
- Personal preferences may vary, but both remain preferable over less engaging dates.
00:19:51 *🏋️♀️ Gym Dates: Pros and Cons*
- The gym is viewed as an unorthodox and potentially uncomfortable first date venue.
- The setting allows for conversation but might lead to awkwardness and distractions due to physical exertion.
- Public safety is a plus, but it's better suited for later dates after initial connection has been established.
00:20:58 *🍷 Drink Dates and Their Challenges*
- Drink dates can lead to negative outcomes if alcohol consumption isn't moderated.
- It's important to remain sober and responsible to ensure clear communication.
- A combination of drinks with food is recommended for a more balanced experience.
00:22:54 *🎢 Amusement Parks: Risks vs. Rewards*
- Amusement parks are entertaining but come with high costs and time commitments.
- Stuck in long lines can lead to an uncomfortable experience if there isn’t a good connection.
- They can be fun if both parties are already compatible and enjoy that environment.
00:24:04 *🛍️ Shopping as a Date: Context Matters*
- Shopping can be perceived negatively, indicating ulterior motives if not paired with other activities.
- Positive experiences can occur when shopping is an extension of another date element, like brunch.
- The context of the shopping date will significantly influence its success.
00:26:09 *🏟️ Sporting Events: A Potential Connection*
- Sporting events offer a unique atmosphere to connect over shared interests, particularly for sports enthusiasts.
- They encourage conversation while providing entertainment, though loud environments can hinder deeper discussions.
- Audience expectations and personal interests play a crucial role in the event's suitability for a first date.
Made with HARPA AI
I'm guessing that most women get so much attention on dating apps, that they just automatically filter out the coffee dates as low effort or cheap because the chance she'll get a more expensive date out of someone else is high.
Probably dating for the wrong reasons then. Not looking to find someone, just looking to get a free meal/stuff. How much a man is willing to spend often does not equate to how much she will actually enjoy herself.
First date types are also a chance to weed out potential mismatches. Personally I prefer a walk or hike for a first date. Usually somewhere more public. Often it does turn into a meal as well. I find a woman that isn’t interested in doing something outdoors probably not my type.
My piece of advice is to know your area, know your options. Know where the best places to eat, hang out, all entertainment options, hidden jems, activities, events, everything. Doing your homework ahead of time will set you up for success.
If coffee/tea sounds boring, invite her for a Swedish Fika. It's a drink (coffee/tea/juice) and pastry, with a cozy feel. It's very similar, but sounds exotic.
Loved this tier list video!! Saved a photo of it for reference. 🥰👏
Enjoyed hearing more about how you and your husband met, and your first date experience. Would be cool to hear more of your story! ❤💞
I tend to do two-tier first dates now. If it goes poorly you can stop after coffee, museum, dinner, etc. If it goes well, then can walk to ice cream or drinks or a show, etc.
First date: casual, low pressure, easy to leave if need be.
drinks at a lounge or wine bar to lube up conversation. a bottle of wine shared or cocktails. 2 drinks max.
or coffee on a weekend morning.
Second date: an activity.
museum, ax throwing, mini golf, art class, casual minor league sports game where you don't really care about the game, any event going on in your area.
third date: start to get intimate.
dinner at your place where you can show off your cooking skills (if need be, get some cooking skills) or cook something together.
of course everything is about how youre feeling each other and your comfort level. but this is my general guide.
What if there are no much activities to go on second date???
I was thinking to get such type of suggestion from someone around me and I saw this video. It is helpful video.
Thankyou.
You should do this tier-list video but about dating profiles. With a couple of your female friends to see what sticks, it would be an incredibly valuable thing to see
Since dating profile opinions are usually very personal, but you are the kind of woman who I believe most guys would want to optimize their profiles for, when looking for a healthy conscious and traditional relationship ☺️
This is one of your best videos. Really fun to watch.
Thanks, I didn't know about shopping dates ! So it depend of the intentions. I always thought fancy date were the only things one should do, but now I will implement informal restaurant and interactive activities. Thanks !
A movie: "I'm going to give it a big fat F." 🤣🤣🤣 I love how unintentionally funny she is sometimes lol
Hey! So, I’ve recently decided to dip my toes back into the dating pool after a long break and, honestly, I haven’t given much thought to the details of a first date in a while.
I work remotely in the Pacific Northwest for a DC-based consulting group, so I don’t get out much. Plus, my line of work means I don’t use social media and I’m a bit cautious about putting my preferences out there on dating apps.
Here’s my idea: start with a coffee date at a locally-owned artisan coffee shop. It would set the stage for substantive and engaging conversation and help me tell the difference between someone who’s all looks and no substance, and someone who’s svelte, elegant, and genuinely interesting. If it’s the latter, we could head out for a walk in the International Rose Test Garden, and if we’re still feeling it, maybe wrap up with happy hour at a local foodie hot spot. If it’s the former, well, at least I’ve only invested an hour!
As a man I find your advices very helpful, thank you so much!
I am a married man, but your videos gives me ideas on how to wow my wife, like it as her awesome first date
Hi Courtney! First Date Tier List (From A Man's Perspective)
S Tier- Informal Meal, picnic, arcade/mini golf
A Tier- Coffee/ice Cream/smoothie
B Tier- Museum
C Tier- walk, *church
D Tier- Amusement Park, concert, comedy show, hiking
F Tier- Movies, Family function/friend date, your house, bar/drinks, shopping, sporting event, formal meal, gym
COURTNEY! Can you please make a video on men's sweaters? Different styles for different guys and how to wear them.
Coffee 1st date is my go-to.
But also good is Sunday afternoon drinks at a spot with a nice beer garden;
pick a sunny day around 4pm.
The time is not accidental - it means you/she can still fit in an activity you/she may already have on earlier.
And 4pm means you aren't buying lunch or dinner. 😆
It's also more relaxed and 'safe' than evening drinks at a bar, where there's more of an implied 'progression'. And she's not walking around by herself at night.
You go for a coffee date or local restaurant, have back up plans for extending if necessary. Ice cream, walk on local pier, visit farmers market, go feed ducks and geese just think before the date of multiple options.
Never understood the hate for the coffee date. We've all been on a disasterous first date that involved a meal you couldn't just walk away from. I'd much rather spend 30-40minutes at a nice coffee spot. Lower pressure, easy to leave or extend your time together and doesn't break the bank
I went on a first date with a girl to a concert at a large amphitheater (Billy Joel - so you now know how long ago this was). It was a great time. Getting out of the grass parking was normally a nightmare, but we ended up just talking for two hours and then realized we were virtually the only ones left and could just drive out no problem. We laughed quite a bit about it. It really depends on chemistry.
I went on another first date years after to a Mexican restaurant with a girl whose greatest ambition in life was to buy the house next door to her parents. I had to shut that down soon afterwards. That was chemistry working as well.
If there aren't any brunch/informal places in town, just going to a pizza place for lunch w a salad bar is a good alternative.
I met my wife (who's from Canada) online (I'm from the UK). Our first date consisted of her flying to England and staying the night in a spare room at my parents house where I lived, and then we did a whole day out in London, seeing all the sights. I then took her on a 5hr car trip down to Cornwall in the South West of England for a 5 day holiday, followed by a weekend in Paris........I think I overdid it. 😂😂😂. She still married me though.
Paris is the clincher! Well done. :)
I prefer coffee date first. I like to test the connection before jumping into anything too intimate. I totally agree with you on the family function/event! I was talking to a guy and he invited me to his sister’s bday party. This would have been our first time meeting irl. I was not expecting that as a first meet 😅
Here's a thought that I'm struggling with. Why is there such demonization of "low effort" dates at all? Hot take, I actually want to enjoy my time on a date! If it's stressful, complex, expensive, etc., I'm not having fun and I'm not gonna be a good date partner. If the date is low effort, I'm gonna be in a better mood, less stressed, more easy to bond with.
Visiting a coffee shop, taking a nature stroll, or doing some kind of mutual hobby together are my top choices. I didn't think about picnics, but sure, we'll add that one as well :)
Anything with large crowds, loud noises, or alcohol is an immediate "no" for me. I wish dating could be a relief/repose from stress, but it seems like the entire universe thinks otherwise.
My girlfriend and I took her dog to a park for a walk for our first date. I brought a frisbee but her dog had no interest in playing with it, so it wound up being a water dish instead, and we both laughed when our safety check in people checked in with both of us within a minute of each other. Almost ten years together now, it worked out great.
why did you have safety check in people?
@@kaisalis7895 Basic common sense when meeting random strangers from the internet.
The perfect first date is a pub or an informal meal like an Italian cantina, or a sport bar. It always work for me, and beer or wine teases both of us.