Collier, I realize this is a sensitive subject for you. I am glad that you are sharing your healing journey with us. Talking and sharing past trauma needs to be discussed as it is a way to healing your heart and soul. We all have so many stories to share about these evil people. Wish we had a support group to discuss our trauma experiences. I have found for myself that talking about our trauma as many times as we need to inorder to manage our traumas as this is a way to healing and to come to some sort of closure. Talking about it helps us to manage life. Life is difficult I know, but the only way to manage our life experiences is to talk about it. As far as I am concerned you can discuss all this stuff as you want to as I am here to listen and support you. Blessings to you, Collier.
Oh, my. Little Marisol was sure telling her story in the background. I would love to see your vocal pup. Dogs are so cool. They give us such much love and comfort, don't they?
💪🐻❤️ cannot believe what I'm hearing from this man (in the letter) I also can't believe you turned out so well adjusted and insightful. Rather than angry and self destructive. I've seen it before. kids in really rough upbringings, turning out so normal. In fact , the ones I know are highly socially and emotionally intelligent. Especially socially. And also seem to stand out in the looks department. It's very interesting. And I cannot comprehend how they do it.
Thank you for sharing, love hearing you read these letters. I don't know why, guess I'm just amazed at the narcissism & denial. How does he explain away the facts that he bought the jackhammer just before & that Noreen was found in the floor of his new house? There's no one else who could've done it. Crazy that he still tries to maintain the farce - how insulting to the son who's mother he killed. Does he really think you're that naive?
Just found your channel..youre a darling man! As the survivor of 2 N parents..my ah hah moment was at 32..total separation saved my happiness with life.. 62..married..2 wonderful well rounded kiddos..you are so interesting in your humor..will be watching! Thanks
Collier, I just wanted to say, Hi. I hope you are doing well. I always look forward to watching your podcasts. Have a great day. Look forward to watching this one. Thanks, again.
Collier, Bec your father did such a heinous series of acts his letters take on a whole different meaning than the manipulative behavior of a good percentage of others that manipulate in similar ways. You are ding a real service by reading these and sharing your observations. I think some ppl are recognizing this level of dysfunction in their own lives bec of your channel🙏
Your story is so sad but inspiring at the same time. You were such a smart and brave kid, thanks for fighting to uncover the truth. I am sure your mom, wherever she is, is so proud of you. ❤
Yes, he is an awesome example of a human being. His family on both sides are heartless. I can't imagine abandoning my nephew in this situation, especially after all he did to put his father in prison.
Hello Collier! A relative told me about your story, you are unknown in France and it's sad! Your story deserves more attention, i can't imagine the trauma, but i can imagine how courageous you were back then.
@@collierlandry You're welcome! You should be heard in the most countries, your story can mean a lot for others who might have dealt with that as well.
Oh I have an email from a former boyfriend who sits in prison right now. And if that doesn't say narcissist... if you were to read it, I don't know what would.
I was in my 40s when she got a gun to kill my dad. He thought she was suicidal, not. When I got there I asked her what she was doing? She said she decided not to use the gun because she didn't want to clean the brains off the ceiling???? I had her locked up in a State institution.
I'm sorry you have also experienced such pain and loss, @JudeNance. Thank you for sharing your story here with our community. Praying for your healing, and I hope you continue to find support in my content.
Thank you Collier. I learn a lot from the letters. I learn a lot from you. My young sons father is like this. I just hope he not a murderer too. They are all so very similar in behaviors and patterns..which makes the studying important for us. I appreciate you and your content!
It matters because in his mind, he was way too smart to get caught and convicted. When he planned this, he would never have a consequence. Delusional victim narcissist.
I heard about your story via some chinese youtube channel and just wanna tell you that you are doing so good and so brave to tell the truth about the narcissistic (which i would say he is pyschopath).
Just found this channel yesterday and have watched a couple of videos. Then I watched the documentary before watching this one. Smear Campaign, Triangulation, Gaslighting - this letter has it all and more. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to hear someone that was also raised by a highly narc. parent in real time. You have come a long way from the doc to this video.
Wow, thank you, I'm so glad this has helped! And thank you, I have come a long way for sure, but still growing and learning everyday! Thank you so much @co1nmage735 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
Collier’s story reminds me of Junguian author Paul Levy and his book “Dispelling Wetiko: breaking the curse of evil” in which he narrates the tragedy of being raised by his father, a malignant narcissist. Levy’s father didn’t kill anyone’s body but he indeed was almost able to kill their souls. Levy had to deal with long term diseases due to the harm inflicted by his father. Both Paul Levy and Collier are the embodiment of the archetype of the wounded healer and help many people worldwide by sharing their story and insights with many trauma survivors 💜
This letter sounds like my ex wrote it. The break up of topics, the confidence and entitlement of knowing you'll buy him things, the attempt to manipulate your perception of others, the conspiracies against him, and the ego (stating who is an intellectual and who is not). It weirds me out how familiar the tone of his letter is.
Thank you so much for sharing. I enjoy your commentary and humor . Continue forward , educational for so many of us. I certainly recognize this particularly in our crazy political world over the past years. Education is a key. Thank you for your insights, your amazing. From Ohio almost a neighbor!
I figured out what my parents were online in a Cafe Digest Mom sight archive..it listed the 25 ways to identify a malignant narcissist..it blew my mind..my parents were in the first 24..25th was killing another..wish i could find that list again to share
Off the topic of this video. Have you if you ever reconnected with your mother’s family? It made zero sense that they turned their backs because they thought that you looked like your father- because you look just like your mom. Regardless, it’s hard to fathom how they could not step up to care for their daughter’s child. I’m sorry that this happened to you. You turned out great! Your mom would be so proud.
I have just finished watching A Murder in Mansfield, & my heart is broken for you, Collier. 😭 I’m sad and angry, both. I’m furious at John for how he mentally abused you & whoever else, what he did to your beautiful mommy, how he lies to your face after seeing your heart on your sleeve. I could go on & on, but I’ll just say that I know your mommy is so prof you, & watching over you. You were such a smart, beautiful child, and now you’re a beautiful man. God bless you for what you’ve made of your life despite John. 🫂😊❤️🙏 Btw … you have gorgeous eyes!
My mother is a full blown narcissist along other things. If I ever got a letter like this sucking up and then asking something from me I'd laugh and burn the letter. Why do they have to be like that. I myself am on the healing journey, but man its hard. I feel like I am not truly living being held back by the awful stuff in the past. How do you do it Collier?
Just to let you know this is not the first time you have uploaded this episode and this has been happening for a while that this has happened..Wednesday wrap up and Thursday thoughts on not those days..I honestly thought I was going mad listening to 2 of the same the other week.. I don't know if it's you or Editor/moderator. Love your content but I will be turning notifications off because listening to stuff twice is not doing me any good 🙃 ❤
Yes, I re-upload the live versions of episodes after I re-edit them, use a higher resolution camera, and clean them up for the audio podcasts because people miss them and send messages asking where the episodes are. The bottom line is that I do everything possible to accommodate all my listeners and audience. That said, I can't please everyone all the time.
I am glad that you keep up a relationship with your father, even though you know who he is. We all have crosses to bare and overcome in life. Have you thought about writing a book and publishing the letters and your comments?
I just found your podcast, today. Sorry, I can’t financially support you. Wish I could. Recovering from narcissistic torture. To make a long story short, I’ll start at the end. I was convinced I was crazy, fat shamed, called lazy and stupid amongst other things, for years. Anyway, I went crazy, lost my mind, family, children, mother, sisters. At end of that, all I wanted to do was slay the father of my children, but I put myself in a hospital, instead. Crimes against married woman go unpunished. In the life I previously lived, no woman would want to admit they participated in such degrading, humiliating and not, at all, who you are, behaviors, to please your husband. Do you want to hear about crimes, in a marriage, with zero punishment? Therapists do not know how to handle people like me. The ones I have had to deal with, really don’t have experience, with the helping of a survivor of NA. After 25 years, I still cry, about how I let it all happen. I saw it from the wedding night forward, but I did not want to remove the father of my children, from the home. So, I sacrificed my life, my happiness and my sanity, so they would not ever have to experience, not having a father. In return, now, they do not have a mother. They don’t know why, nor do they care. You are the type of person that has suffered the same pain, only in reverse. You lost your mother, lost respect for your father and ended up in a whirlwind of suffering. You are the same age as my oldest son, who went through crazy along with his brother and sisters. Just as your story is long, I could go on for days. Peace!
Also, What are you thoughts on this? Chris Watts admitted to the murder of Shanann and his precious little girls, and your father has not admitted to his crimes of murdering your mother and the physical abuse he committed against you and your mother. What is the deal with that? 😳😳😳 Your father calling your mom, Mommie K is bizarre. Some narcs. have a hatred for their biological mother. Question....How was his relationship with his mother? His father? Siblings? Any conduct disorder when he was a child?
Chris Watts confessed to avoid the death penalty. And he described that he felt like something or somebody was forcing him to strangle Shanann( devil). But now he claimed, he is a changed man who found god, so he feels, he can tell every detail about his disgusting crimes. In his mind, the crimes have nothing to do with him( zero accountability). There is another great channel on UA-cam, called" live abuse free", where a psychologist explains about Chis Watts mindset.
@estherhelbig Thanks for the information. I will watch the video you recommended. Did not know that Chris said he felt that. Hummm. I know all about Chris' and his found God play scenario and all a sudden relationship with Jesus Christ.
@@Prometheuspredator He said it , when Coder and Tammy visited him in prison( after his trial). On UA-cam there is a channel called: "live abuse free", I found that video there.( You just hear him talk to Coder and Tammy, describing his twisted " truth")
You told thetruth about what you saw, i don't think you should feel guilty, probably you should have no contact with him period. He makes you feel guilty for telling the truth.
I read a philosopher who said: ‘There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.’ The problem with narcissists is: they never learn.
Wow! Great observation
This is a public service, sharing these communications to demonstrate the patterns of these highly manipulative people.
My mother was a narcissist. The walking on eggshells, and physical abuse are things that I can relate to.
I would love to hear one from when he was first in prison, and then one from present day. I think we'd see how he hasn't progressed any.
Collier, I realize this is a sensitive subject for you. I am glad that you are sharing your healing journey with us. Talking and sharing past trauma needs to be discussed as it is a way to healing your heart and soul. We all have so many stories to share about these evil people. Wish we had a support group to discuss our trauma experiences. I have found for myself that talking about our trauma as many times as we need to inorder to manage our traumas as this is a way to healing and to come to some sort of closure. Talking about it helps us to manage life. Life is difficult I know, but the only way to manage our life experiences is to talk about it.
As far as I am concerned you can discuss all this stuff as you want to as I am here to listen and support you.
Blessings to you, Collier.
Oh, my. Little Marisol was sure telling her story in the background. I would love to see your vocal pup. Dogs are so cool. They give us such much love and comfort, don't they?
Love your channel. I'm sincerely praying for you. Your attitude is so refreshing. You've helped many victims of trauma, including me.
💪🐻❤️ cannot believe what I'm hearing from this man (in the letter) I also can't believe you turned out so well adjusted and insightful. Rather than angry and self destructive. I've seen it before. kids in really rough upbringings, turning out so normal. In fact , the ones I know are highly socially and emotionally intelligent. Especially socially. And also seem to stand out in the looks department. It's very interesting. And I cannot comprehend how they do it.
Thank you for sharing, love hearing you read these letters. I don't know why, guess I'm just amazed at the narcissism & denial. How does he explain away the facts that he bought the jackhammer just before & that Noreen was found in the floor of his new house? There's no one else who could've done it. Crazy that he still tries to maintain the farce - how insulting to the son who's mother he killed. Does he really think you're that naive?
Just found your channel..youre a darling man! As the survivor of 2 N parents..my ah hah moment was at 32..total separation saved my happiness with life.. 62..married..2 wonderful well rounded kiddos..you are so interesting in your humor..will be watching! Thanks
Collier, I just wanted to say, Hi. I hope you are doing well. I always look forward to watching your podcasts. Have a great day. Look forward to watching this one. Thanks, again.
Thank you for sharing, Collier
Awww thanks for sharing! 👍🏻💔😃❤️👋☀️☀️☀️
Thank you so much @debby5110 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
Collier, Bec your father did such a heinous series of acts his letters take on a whole different meaning than the manipulative behavior of a good percentage of others that manipulate in similar ways.
You are ding a real service by reading these and sharing your observations. I think some ppl are recognizing this level of dysfunction in their own lives bec of your channel🙏
Your story is so sad but inspiring at the same time. You were such a smart and brave kid, thanks for fighting to uncover the truth. I am sure your mom, wherever she is, is so proud of you. ❤
Yes, he is an awesome example of a human being. His family on both sides are heartless. I can't imagine abandoning my nephew in this situation, especially after all he did to put his father in prison.
Thank you for this information, Collier. Very enlightening to see these behaviors in action.
Hello Collier!
A relative told me about your story, you are unknown in France and it's sad!
Your story deserves more attention, i can't imagine the trauma, but i can imagine how courageous you were back then.
Thank you so much @Tacorikit!
@@collierlandry You're welcome! You should be heard in the most countries, your story can mean a lot for others who might have dealt with that as well.
The timing of this. Lol is something else you have no idea! The narcissism lately! 😂😂😂😂😂Spot on Collier!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much @A2G999 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
Oh I have an email from a former boyfriend who sits in prison right now. And if that doesn't say narcissist... if you were to read it, I don't know what would.
They rewrite history like you didn't witness it with your own eyes xxx be safe . Perhaps block the guy xxx
My mother was diagnosed psychotic. She killed my oldest sister and attempted to kill my youngest sister.
💪🐻❤️wow.
😢😢😢
I was in my 40s when she got a gun to kill my dad. He thought she was suicidal, not. When I got there I asked her what she was doing? She said she decided not to use the gun because she didn't want to clean the brains off the ceiling???? I had her locked up in a State institution.
did she ever try to kill you?
I'm sorry you have also experienced such pain and loss, @JudeNance. Thank you for sharing your story here with our community. Praying for your healing, and I hope you continue to find support in my content.
Thank you Collier. I learn a lot from the letters. I learn a lot from you. My young sons father is like this. I just hope he not a murderer too. They are all so very similar in behaviors and patterns..which makes the studying important for us. I appreciate you and your content!
It matters because in his mind, he was way too smart to get caught and convicted. When he planned this, he would never have a consequence. Delusional victim narcissist.
Thanks for teaching the world how to not trust narcissists. Keep teaching us through your stories. Thanks. I need to be reminded. ❤
I just read that he is up for parole in 2025. Is there any way he will get out? If he is in denial then he won’t get out right?
I would like to see a reply to her question.
Kemper didn’t get perole cuz all he did was pontificate on how his mother created the monster he was/is
Whats his dad called
my mom went to your school when your mother went missing I’m so sorry for your loss
Without getting into the details, your testimony has helped me tremendously. Thank you ❤
I'm so glad! Thank you so much @Tatiana-cp1fc!
The letters are just crazy! He's disgusting. I remember seeing your testimony years ago. I'm sorry you lost so much. I wish you the best!
You asked so here you go: I love when you sing What's Going On.
Thank you so much @trishgriffin2348!
I heard about your story via some chinese youtube channel and just wanna tell you that you are doing so good and so brave to tell the truth about the narcissistic (which i would say he is pyschopath).
Just found this channel yesterday and have watched a couple of videos. Then I watched the documentary before watching this one. Smear Campaign, Triangulation, Gaslighting - this letter has it all and more. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to hear someone that was also raised by a highly narc. parent in real time. You have come a long way from the doc to this video.
Wow, thank you, I'm so glad this has helped! And thank you, I have come a long way for sure, but still growing and learning everyday! Thank you so much @co1nmage735 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
Awee man I missed the love. Oh well am watching now
Collier’s story reminds me of Junguian author Paul Levy and his book “Dispelling Wetiko: breaking the curse of evil” in which he narrates the tragedy of being raised by his father, a malignant narcissist. Levy’s father didn’t kill anyone’s body but he indeed was almost able to kill their souls. Levy had to deal with long term diseases due to the harm inflicted by his father. Both Paul Levy and Collier are the embodiment of the archetype of the wounded healer and help many people worldwide by sharing their story and insights with many trauma survivors 💜
Thankyou for sharing
This letter sounds like my ex wrote it. The break up of topics, the confidence and entitlement of knowing you'll buy him things, the attempt to manipulate your perception of others, the conspiracies against him, and the ego (stating who is an intellectual and who is not). It weirds me out how familiar the tone of his letter is.
Thank you so much @Kyutenessss for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
Just FASCINATING! Thank You!
Hello! I’m livin in Paris and I saw your story last night, I was so sad for your lost 😞
You are a big guy since your childhood 🙏🏾
God bless you ❤
Thank you for sharing , Colier ❤️!
Thank you so much for sharing. I enjoy your commentary and humor . Continue forward , educational for so many of us. I certainly recognize this particularly in our crazy political world over the past years. Education is a key. Thank you for your insights, your amazing. From Ohio almost a neighbor!
Narcissism, "the gift" that keeps on giving.
I figured out what my parents were online in a Cafe Digest Mom sight archive..it listed the 25 ways to identify a malignant narcissist..it blew my mind..my parents were in the first 24..25th was killing another..wish i could find that list again to share
Just realized i hadn't seen one of your vids in a while when to go look and was unsubscribed! Wtf. I am now re-subscribed
Very interesting and insightful - thanks for that. I hope that doing these doesn't put you in a shitty mood for too long after filming.
Off the topic of this video. Have you if you ever reconnected with your mother’s family? It made zero sense that they turned their backs because they thought that you looked like your father- because you look just like your mom. Regardless, it’s hard to fathom how they could not step up to care for their daughter’s child. I’m sorry that this happened to you. You turned out great! Your mom would be so proud.
Cuz they dumb and associate the son with the sins of his father
I have just finished watching A Murder in Mansfield, & my heart is broken for you, Collier. 😭 I’m sad and angry, both. I’m furious at John for how he mentally abused you & whoever else, what he did to your beautiful mommy, how he lies to your face after seeing your heart on your sleeve. I could go on & on, but I’ll just say that I know your mommy is so prof you, & watching over you. You were such a smart, beautiful child, and now you’re a beautiful man. God bless you for what you’ve made of your life despite John. 🫂😊❤️🙏 Btw … you have gorgeous eyes!
On love Elton John - 113 concerts since 1985 !!!!!!
WOWOWOW!!!
My mother is a full blown narcissist along other things. If I ever got a letter like this sucking up and then asking something from me I'd laugh and burn the letter. Why do they have to be like that.
I myself am on the healing journey, but man its hard. I feel like I am not truly living being held back by the awful stuff in the past. How do you do it Collier?
Unreal how he accuses others of doing or being exactly what he does or is like: shrewd, calculating, etc.
So he still denies unaliving your mom? I find that scary and creepy. Thanks for the video ❤
I Love Pizelle's I am also from an Italian background.
Thank you so much @lauriestaltari7107 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
Just to let you know this is not the first time you have uploaded this episode and this has been happening for a while that this has happened..Wednesday wrap up and Thursday thoughts on not those days..I honestly thought I was going mad listening to 2 of the same the other week..
I don't know if it's you or Editor/moderator. Love your content but I will be turning notifications off because listening to stuff twice is not doing me any good 🙃 ❤
Yes, I re-upload the live versions of episodes after I re-edit them, use a higher resolution camera, and clean them up for the audio podcasts because people miss them and send messages asking where the episodes are. The bottom line is that I do everything possible to accommodate all my listeners and audience. That said, I can't please everyone all the time.
I am glad that you keep up a relationship with your father, even though you know who he is. We all have crosses to bare and overcome in life. Have you thought about writing a book and publishing the letters and your comments?
I just found your podcast, today. Sorry, I can’t financially support you. Wish I could. Recovering from narcissistic torture.
To make a long story short, I’ll start at the end. I was convinced I was crazy, fat shamed, called lazy and stupid amongst other things, for years. Anyway, I went crazy, lost my mind, family, children, mother, sisters. At end of that, all I wanted to do was slay the father of my children, but I put myself in a hospital, instead. Crimes against married woman go unpunished. In the life I previously lived, no woman would want to admit they participated in such degrading, humiliating and not, at all, who you are, behaviors, to please your husband. Do you want to hear about crimes, in a marriage, with zero punishment?
Therapists do not know how to handle people like me. The ones I have had to deal with, really don’t have experience, with the helping of a survivor of NA. After 25 years, I still cry, about how I let it all happen. I saw it from the wedding night forward, but I did not want to remove the father of my children, from the home. So, I sacrificed my life, my happiness and my sanity, so they would not ever have to experience, not having a father. In return, now, they do not have a mother. They don’t know why, nor do they care. You are the type of person that has suffered the same pain, only in reverse. You lost your mother, lost respect for your father and ended up in a whirlwind of suffering. You are the same age as my oldest son, who went through crazy along with his brother and sisters.
Just as your story is long, I could go on for days. Peace!
Thank you so much @Lmn0660 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
@@collierlandry Every day, is a good day above ground. Someday it’s harder than others. Wish I had your courage! You are awesome!
Also, What are you thoughts on this? Chris Watts admitted to the murder of Shanann and his precious little girls, and your father has not admitted to his crimes of murdering your mother and the physical abuse he committed against you and your mother. What is the deal with that?
😳😳😳 Your father calling your mom, Mommie K is bizarre. Some narcs. have a hatred for their biological mother. Question....How was his relationship with his mother? His father? Siblings? Any conduct disorder when he was a child?
Chris Watts confessed to avoid the death penalty. And he described that he felt like something or somebody was forcing him to strangle Shanann( devil).
But now he claimed, he is a changed man who found god, so he feels, he can tell every detail about his disgusting crimes. In his mind, the crimes have nothing to do with him( zero accountability).
There is another great channel on UA-cam, called" live abuse free", where a psychologist explains about Chis Watts mindset.
@estherhelbig Thanks for the information. I will watch the video you recommended. Did not know that Chris said he felt that.
Hummm. I know all about Chris' and his found God play scenario and all a sudden relationship with Jesus Christ.
@@Prometheuspredator He said it , when Coder and Tammy visited him in prison( after his trial).
On UA-cam there is a channel called: "live abuse free", I found that video there.( You just hear him talk to Coder and Tammy, describing his twisted " truth")
Blessings i wish u all the best u r one Amazing man God Bless Blessings always 🙏 ❤
This was almost too long to endure.
🇬🇧 👌
“I can’t beat CJ to death…”???
You told thetruth about what you saw, i don't think you should feel guilty, probably you should have no contact with him period. He makes you feel guilty for telling the truth.
based Enrique Iglesias enjoyer
Your father is a trip
Narcissist's letter from prison to another narcissist...
Collier if your Father ever got out how would you react with him ? If he doesn’t get parole I hope he doesn’t will he stay in prison 🏴🩵🙏🏻
If he got out colliers life would be in danger