D&D Players, What was the Funniest Combat Encounter you've had?
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
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We interrupted a fight between a goblin necromancer and a gnome vampire, we refer to that as the tiny undead rumble
Was part of a weekend game, where we do our best to finish a very short 'campaign' in 3-ish days. Two of the party were IRL married and played an elf couple in game which was something that the DM would poke fun at sometimes (never anything that was too far). During a long rest at an inn after a couple rough encounters on the road where our healer and mage were taken out, the husband made a joke about sleeping with the wife. This made the DM look up from his notes and he said "Roll a d20, if you get over a 5 you succeed in seducing your wife and can have a +1 to Constitution and Strength and a -1 to intelligence for 6 hours. But if you fail, wife gets to pick what happens". Husband thought, why not, there's no way I'll roll lower than a 5 and decided to go with it... however, he forgot about the fight they had that morning.
Our man rolled a 3 and wifey was NOT merciful. She said that he tried to do a sexy backflip onto the bed and missed, breaking his arm. This wouldn't have been a problem had we not just lost our only healer to a pitfall trap during an ambush shortly before arriving to our current town and spent all our money on lodging and supplies for what was left of our party. So we were short our ranger, healer and mage while still being 2 days away from the nearest temple that provided resurrection since the town we were in was fairly poor and lacked a magical healer.
In the end we made it to a temple and with some bartering and the promise to complete a quest for said temple afterwards we got our people back to the land of the living and in mostly working order. After all was said and done we had lost almost all our money, 2 horses, 2 deaths, a broken arm and quite a lot of swallowed pride for a couple of us. You know what you did mage, I know you'll see this. Maybe think about why lighting and water don't mix, Terry.
After the kobold we were trying to recruit died, we fought some dancing mushrooms.
They were mushrooms that in order to get closer, mimicked our movements.
Me as DM: the pcs walked away from piranha attack, they still get the xp. It was certainly a learning experience for them.
My players were skulking through a dungeon, and while searching one of the rooms, I offhandedly say "you find nothing more than a centipede on the floor". I guess out of partial frustration that he couldn't land any attacks in combat, the paladin asks to attack the centipede. The other players looked at him like he had 3 heads, but I allowed it. One Natural 20 later, we're all laughing our asses off. It's always when you need it the least that the dice indulge you with high rolls.
hmm... I picture this like the Scottsman from Samurai Jack lowering down to look at the centipede and spewing insults at it before crushing it with a boot.
I've talked about the time I went Batman on a cult leader who liked to quote Earth, Wind and Fire while the ranger made his followers look like idiots, so this time, I'll talk about another encounter involving the same ranger. We came upon some lizardfolk in a cavern in the sewers that were threatening to blow up the city with a bomb, Bane-style, and while the cleric was trying to talk them down and the rest of us were thinking of contingency plans for if he failed, the ranger used Zephyr Strike, ran into the cavern and up to the one holding the bomb, grabbed the bomb, ran out of the cavern, and threw it into the sewer water where it couldn't ignite, all in the span of 6 seconds. Everyone was speechless.
I love the Spaceballs quoting
Man there's always so many creative and entertaining stories here, I wish I could listen more often, always a worthwhile experience
We were playing a pathfinder campaign, and we were in the feywild. Wandering admits the underbrush, a teeny arrow struck the ground near us. We looked up to see a group of Pixies in white gowns brandishing weapons at us. We fought for a few rounds before I tried to make peace. They were willing to listen because I was a Fairy, also a fellow Fey.
Dri, my character: “Uh, so, like, maybe we can not kill each other?”
Pixies: “Leave and we will spare you.”
My party, though most,y consisting of CE and CN players, didn’t like combat, so we went backwards.
Pixies: “Not that way.”
So we went forward, up, and to one side before a will-o-wisp showed up(he was the pixies’ boss.). We asked him the pixies we’re allowed to go on break, holding up bottles of whiskey and beer. The pixies grabbed the bottles and made a break for it, and the will-o-wisp sighed and floated down to the base of a tree.
“Got any more?”
We slid a tankard towards him. He just started rambling about his life and key information we needed to infiltrate a castle as he got progressively more and more drunk. And we weren’t going to run out of alcohol- we had an entire bag of holding filled with beer. Eventually he passed out and we moved on with the plot.
I had a lot of fun with that party and DM. We bribed a lot of people with alchohol.
I was fighting 3 Red Slaads with my party. The party’s drunk monk Sparta kicked one in the face off a cliff. I was at the bottom of said cliff, fighting my own Red Slaad by myself, long story. The one who was kicked off the cliff landed smack on my sword, impaling and killing it.
This was from a d20 Modern campaign, and it was funny because of how sad it actually was.
We were given a quest to secure a cave that that went dark, no people coming out, no more communication. So we said, “Sure, we’ll take care of it.”
Now, after a recent level up, my character gained a strange new ability. As long as I could touch a sentient creature, I could instantly learn their language. I immediately came to regret getting that ability.
That’s because when we found the cave, we rolled perception checks, and we spotted a little juvenile kobolt sticking it’s head out towards us, curiously. Knowing kobolts love their shiny things, my character took out a gold piece, and lured the creature out with it. It did so tentatively, and I was able to touch it, and learn it’s language before it ran back inside… to it’s mother.
It was so happy! It was victoriously telling his mom, “Mom look! Look I got shiny,” and the mother scolded it’s child for getting anywhere near strangers!
My character was listening to this whole thing completely brought in by the cuteness of this child elated over it’s spoils, but then… we still needed to clear the cave.
So my companions went inside, me at the back of the line, and the kobolts and their ENTIRE society set up defenses around their caves, and my companions started slaughtering all of them.
My character heard the kobolt warriors yelling orders, “Protect the women and children!” and my character and me as a player were absolutely MORTIFIED.
We killed all the warriors, and the women, and the children too! An entire kobolt society filled with thinking and feeling families, and now they’re all dead.
My character never fired a single shot for the entire encounter. He was merely making mortified faces as he heard their screams.
This was years ago by the way… and I still think about it sometimes. 😂😂😂
My halfling rogue got bit by a werewolf, so prior to my first transformation, our dm was having me roll will saves to represent me trying to keep myself under control. Well, I promptly fail the roll and go berserk, right as we're attacked by some big armored skeletons in an old watchtower. So my little pint sized lycanthrope goes full rorschach and does the whole "I'm not locked in here with you. You are locked in here with ME!" line. Our dm just laughs his ass off and says "You hear a cartoonish whistling noise, followed by a clatter of armour and bones hitting the ground. Somehow you managed to scare an undead being into jumping out the window to its doom instead of facing you."
Two that come to mind are a JRWI: Riptide combat encounter called "The Baldening" where no one was trying to kill anyone but the party was being attacked by a group of bald men wielding hair clippers. Dropping the HP of the bald men knocked them out because the PCs didn't want to use lethal force against enemies who weren't doing the same. Any damage the party took didn't reduce HP, it made them lose parts of their hair.
The other one wasn't technically a combat encounter, but one time in JRWI: Apotheosis, two of the characters got into a fight with a bidet. Yep. A bidet. One party member was having trouble using the bidet and the second burst into the bathroom to defend him.
My very first game: the party comes across a dire ant... The ant rolls 1s....bites himself in half...
playing a summoner in a Pathfinder game. My eldalion (basically a familair/animal companion that is formed from your mind) was a mass of writhing tenticles mouths and eyes. So we get to this chapel where this giantly obese being is eating everything in the village. So I send in my creature to scout the being who is basically a demon of glutony, pick him up and tried to eat him but the creature lodged itself in his throat making him vomit an entire village worth of food, yeah the demon gave up after that single encounter.
That last story was just... _chef's kiss_
It was a high school D&D club campaign gone awry; the only two players who showed up to the campaign consistently were two of my friends, and the campaign quickly turned from a light-hearted campaign about stopping some evil circus performers from taking over the world to something about as chaotic as your average SMG4 episode.
In this particular combat encounter, the party had gotten aboard the circus performers' stolen airship, and were about to battle them mid-flight. At this point, the other two party members who were supposed to be there had showed up for the first time and joined the battle. Round 1 began, and one of the aforementioned friends of mine had his dragonborn wizard who dressed like Ronald McDonald if he bought his clothes from Gucci, Frank, throw a fireball into the engine. The airship spirals out of control and starts careening toward the ground. The other one of the aforementioned friends, who is playing a homebrewed void sorcerer named Onyx, decides to cast Create Water, essentially turning the crashing airship into a giant washing machine. Two rounds later, the airship hits the ground, and the party winds up trapped in a cave as the wrecked ship blocks the exit.
TL;DR, the party basically turned the evil circus airship into a giant washing machine.
"My god, it's Space Balls!"
"Well, there goes the neighborhood."
The Space Balls Skeleton fight had me cracking up!
Here's one for you.
Back in about 2001 i joined a group and we did 2nd ad&d. The theme of the world was vampires and werewolves. Basically vampires and werewolves were fighting eachother and humans were getting more and more in the cross-fires. On the otherhand both vampires and werewolves were basically immortal except for their individual weaknesses.
Also the only way to kill a vampire seemed to be direct sunlight (or spell as such) or stake through the heart. Well one combat instance we fought a vampire, and killed him fairly quickly, even cut off his head. Then Dan (the idiot who had to write 'THINK FIRST' on the top of his character sheet) pulled the stake out. Well the head rolled back and rejoined the vampire's body. Then we had to fight the damned vampire AGAIN, mind you for no additional experience, and we had bad rolls. So what was a 3 minute encounter the first time, took like 70 minutes fighting one vampire.
Later in the campaign (add this to natural 1's thread if you want) we came across a cleric of death, basically vampires (and maybe werewolves?) were considered an affront since the cycle wasn't going on normally of life and death and renewal. So he was after our blacksmith vampire (got turned, and in the middle of battle made a wish from a luck blade so the player could keep their character rather than losing it as an NPC). Well we were rolling 1's, and the death cleric was rolling ones, so we were constantly falling in the mud unable to do anything. Thankfully the blacksmith was the only one rolling well, after like everyone getting 8 1's in a row the cleric started really trying to kill everyone. When combat finished we might have hit it once each while the blacksmith hit it for most of it, so they went up like 3 levels while we went up 1 each for that fight.
Oh right, that same cleric of death had withered my main arm and i'd had to turn into a squirrel (druid) in order to keep our stuff safe until everyone could wake up again... Apparently it's funny as hell when the blacksmith is holding a one-armed squirrel asking where his stuff is.
i was playing pathfinder with my nephews, it was my first time gming and thier first time playing. we were playing menace under otari and it was the start of the dungeon when you fight the rats, the youngest (5) was playing valeros the fighter. now again this is the first time valeros is playing never even touched a d20 before. He makes an attack roll on the rat and aside from initiative this is his first roll ever, nat 20, i describe as the rat jumps towards him valeros impales it on his longsword killing it instantly (he dealt 22 damage against the rat's 8 hp). on his next turn he makes an attack on another rat ,nat 20. "congratulation you have made a rat kebab" is the highlight of the little time we played of that game. after the fight you have to make a skill check to climb down a cliff, nat 20 for valeros. his luck was astounding and i hope he gets into the game when hes older, especially if his luck is going to stay the same
The last one 😂
I had an equal parts hilarious and awesome "encounter" the other week where my character and my friend's character killed three bandits at range in the dark while they tried to ambush us. Ended the encounter before they even realized their cover was blown. DM just shrugged and tossed the random encounter sheet over one shoulder.
As a side note if anyone wants a great hilarious combat encounter, look up Team Four Star Unnatural Oneders. A boss basically kills himself with ball bearings.
So in 2e we were fighting some orcs and I got the brilliant idea of using cantrip to grow various bodily hairs out to ridiculous lengths on them since that was one of the long list of effects the DM allowed for it. At least one orc was strangled with his taint hair, one ended up being drowned in a stream after being dragged there by his nose hairs, another got attacked by his eyebrows and another had his butt hair crawl up said butt and out his mouth and nose via some extremely creative use of and maybe a bit of extra liberty taken with a combination of mage hand and the bind spell which I then set on fire.
The Dwarf in the party did much of the dragging, strangling and such. The absolute best part was that the party(in character) wasn't actually even aware of my presence prior to this as my character was a pixie that chose to remain invisible and had only "joined" in the tavern in the last town a day or so prior.
So they had no idea what the hell was going on either but just went along with it. Out of character we were laughing like maniacs.
We were attacked by a retreiever. Our druid (Its target) hit it with polymorph and we stood around discussing what to do-Whilst the fighter held this crazed kitten at arms length- Until I came up with what I now refer to as the pegasus drop: I take it up in the air on my pegasus and drop it, we launch a bunch of ranged attacks at it as it falls, set up a trap under it and between all of that and the fall it should die. Our cleric/fighter nailed it with her scythe just before it would land finishing it off.
Cursed sword of berserking lol the NPC pushed the red button
My character was Graenor Dragonlance, a Winged Tiefling Dhampir Totem Warrior Barbarian, wielding a glaive. One combat, he was Hasted by the party druid, and hit with his glaive three times for more damage than a fifth level fireball, knocking out an opposing Barbarian in the first round of combat. Later that same combat but several sessions later, he was in a one-on-one fight with an opposing Bard. Well, he was still Hasted, so he hit three times, critting twice in the same turn. The bard didn't even get to do anything, as I did over double his max HP, killing him instantly. It was flavored like Graenor had bisected him from the top of the head to the groin.
Roll to emasculate. If the bandit leader would rather die than give up where he had hidden the mayor's daughter, lets see what else he'd be willing to lose.
So we're facing against the campaign's final boss (Zombie Virus + Evil Spirit + Party Member that failed their saves + Tarrasque stats), and with some help due to my Unsettling Words (College of Eloquence Bard ability to give -d12 to saves to an enemy until my next turn), we manage to burn out all his Legendary Resistances.
Since he was a Paladin and had the -4 to his original Int modifier, I could cast higher level spells without him using Counterspell. So I cast Feeblemind with a DC 23, and needless to say, he failed.
Not just could he not cast spells or use his magic items, but it cancelled out the 2nd phase of the fight and made it easier to defeat him.
Feeblemind is awesome. I’ve only ever cast it once, as a level 20 Aasimar Warlock, on Vecna. Sadly he passed the save.
As an old Grognar forever DM, the best was the wall of sand dropped onto the attacking ship of skelingtons.
Me: "Uh yeah- Physics takes over. Their ship slowly rolls over and starts to sink."
( Big nasty fight over in like 3 rounds. )
When choosing an encounter on a large saltwater lake, i had the choice between a bunch of sharks or Giant Seahorses, i too he only obvious answer and i had the guiding NPC only give the detail
"The beasts get fiesty during their mating season..."
A fight i will never forget
I once wildshaped into a bird, flew to the top of a tower that a young green dragon was residing in, then wildshaped into a brown bear, causing the roof and myself to collapse on the dragon. The dragon failed a dexterity saving throw and was knocked prone. I passed mine and was able to grapple it, causing it to be restrained with zero movement. Since it could stand up, it had disadvantage strength checks and could break the grapple. The rest of my party also got to attack with advantage until it died in about 8 turns. Barely anyone had a scratch on them.
Party of 4 fighting an Oni. Dwarf cleric is put to sleep and Oni then cast invisibility on itself. Aasimar paladin announces they're going to save the cleric. Just as she get's there Oni comes back into view with a wicked smile and glaive raised high, paladin loudly announces in game and irl "it didn't move it didn't move it didn't move" cue panic
Our Bard challenged this eight foot slab of muscle to a fight and immediately got punched in the head so hard it caved in his face, and he died. It lasted around five seconds. Good times.
10:10 those New York rats are built different.
I was the DM for this. Waterdeep: Dragon Heist spoilers in bound.
So, my players made it into the Vault, where they confronted Aurinax when he is in Barok Clanghammer mode. When they, Renaer, and Laeral (she joined them in the vault exploration) convinced him to turn the gold over to the city, he walked out. However, my ranger, out of paranoia, left an alarm spell at the Vault’s entrance, so she know that people were coming in, and the rogue had tied a rope to the broken bridge, allowing people to come up. This left me deciding to use the main vault for at least the first combat encounter finale, and this begins the train wreck for me:
Encounter 1) Because my Cassalanter plot got kneecaped early (they were taken out of the running when my original players killed Nihloor and pissed Xanathar off), I ended up creating a homebrew villain faction of Dagult Neverember loyalists. Their leader, an archmage, took Nat the urchin hostage and used her (in my game) secret Brandath blood to get pass the treant, as well as take prisoner Ambrose Everdawn. He even brought with him a swashbuckler, a war priest, and a champion. On paper, a super deadly encounter. In order to counter this (and prepare for encounter 2), I made Ambrose Everdawn be Jarlaxle Baenre in disguise to give them a “fighting chance”.
In practice, however, my players decapitated the mage as soon as Nat was safe. The other three decided this wasn’t worth dying for, so they bailed. Jarlaxle was impressed by their pragmatism.
2) The Xanathar Guild was next. My players got on opposite ends, and the druid casted sleet storm while Laeral was asked to protect Nat (she was only going to fight if things got dire). Narl came in, and he and the bugbears failed their dex saves. Narl even knocked himself out before the barbarian player killed him. Jarlaxle had an entire speech prepared for his traitor, and was only slightly disappointed he didn’t get to deliver it, with the only struggle coming from the grell. My barbarian recruited the two bugbear survivors.
3) Tired of people coming into the Vault to try to kill them and take the gold, my players decided to cut off the third wave. They came up, saw Manshoon’s strike team looking around, and the druid and barbarian, both tieflings, casted thautmatergy.
Now, normally in the module as written, the doors except the correct ones don’t do anything. However, I found a trap system to attach to the “wrong” doors. My players managed to get the right doors easy enough. However, they decided NOW was the perfect time to find out what every OTHER door did.
Cue me rolling a bunch of dice I wasn’t prepared to roll. By the end of it, all but two members of the strike team was dead in various, horrifying ways, and the simualcrum was destroyed.
My players apologized profusely for doing this, and I’ve learned to never rig an entire ruin full of magically trapped doors ever again.
I was playing a wizard and my schtick was I focused on the spell Tiny Servant. Tinies if you don't know have +5 to hit, deal 1d4 +3 damage, and have an AC of 15. Now the thing is on several occasions someone would do massive damage, either a martial or a spell caster, but the creature would live long enough after the massive damage to get another turn. There was 10 times one of my Tinies would snipe the kill. 6 of those 10 times the kill was sniped by Copper, just a lowly copper piece. In fact, 2 of those 6 kills were 2 different Purple Worms, and Copper avoided getting twice from one Worms.
The one whose turn it was after Copper was a Ranger and by all right the kills should have been his. By this time we are all giggling at how dumb this looks, a teeny tiny coin facing down a massive purple worm and then BOOP! It just dies. Seconds after the fight Ranger grabbed Copper and ate him. Everyone is busting a gut laughing. The DM had to stop the game because he could not continue, he was also laughing. I hand to mute my mic because I was doing my obnoxiously loud horse laugh of mine.
It took like 15 minutes to finally continue.
A forever DM here, but one of the times I was a player for a campaign that fell apart. Party was a monk sorssorer, barbarian, and me, an artificer. We were fighting one of the minor bbegs and the monk cast darkness on them. Unfortunately with how the DM ruled things, we all had dicadvantage including them (they casted darkvision to be allowed to see in magical darkness but DM ruled that it wouldn't work for x reason). We were in a burning village in the middle of a gravel road and I ask if I can, with my free action pick up some of the gravel in the road. I have it make sounds with magical tinkering and throw it in the darkness in an attempt to lure the bbeg to spot within darkness. I then, on my next turn used magical tinkering again and grab another pebble and made it smell like rancid poop. Threw it at disadvantage to see if it could land on the bbeg. First roll. Nat 20. Second roll, a dirty 20. The pebble landed inside the bbeg's armor and smelled like dhiarria waterfalls and the only way he could get rid of that was to remove his armor.
Same fight, our barbarian was throwing their minion's dead body on him knocking him prown.
The party had just finished assisting the former-Tier 2 villain in sealing a portal to the Shadowfell, making him more powerful in the process, but prone to wild magic while the power he drained attunes to him. On their way out of the haunted woods, they're ambushed by a Greater Shadow Horror that had escaped the portal sometime prior, and had only been tipped off about from a massive trail of insect-like tracks that went directly over their Tiny Hut a few days prior with no one noticing it. The sorcerer, knowing that this thing is a threat, casts a spell and procs a roll on the Surge table. His result is that everything within 30ft becomes vulnerable to Piercing damage for 1 minute, no save. His spell, interacting with the shadow creature, has a backlash that explodes into dark blots that seem to seep into everyone's shadows and gives everyone a sense of dread from anything that looks sharp.
The DEX Battle Master Fighter uses a rapier, which inflicts Piercing damage. He Action Surges with a bunch of maneuvers for extra damage and kills it in a single round, as the damage from 6 attacks hitting were all doubled. None of the characters brought it up ever again.
First ever pathfinder session, we immediately derailed the gms plan and took 3 hours to kill 2 people because we didn't have our weapons
11:42 I was not expecting that.
In one session, ranger won a bottle of sovereign glue from a carnival game. This particular session we were stuck in a dungeon and came to a room with four gargoyles as stone statues. The ranger and I looked at each other knowingly, and he proceeded to roll stealth checks and slight of hand checks to put sovereign glue on the feet of each gargoyle. Then, he came back to me and I (warlock, with homebrew patron that gives me access to moonbeam) cast moonbeam and the area was large enough to encompass all four. We watched as the silvery astral fire lapped over them each turn. We could have made it quicker by doing ranged attack/Eldritch blasts, but no. We. Just. Watched.
When they died, the DM asked if I wanted to describe it and I was like, “Hells yeah.” So as they died, the radiant energy bleached and smoothed their hides, making it resemble something like porcelain or marble. For a brief moment of poignant beauty, they were akin to winged Greco-Roman statuary before crumbling to dust.
Ran an insane campaign where the party had to stop an undardark religious war between two factions of Kuo toa. Each of these groups believed that their god was the one true god. Their gods: an al-miraj (bunnycorn), and a duckbunny. Their devotion was so great each of these tiny creatures were elvated into divine beings.
So the rogue gets the idea of kidnapping both of their deities and maybe trying to get them to mate to bring unity. It doesnt work, and the party winds up fighting a divine duckbunny. And yes, they were losing due to the fact this thing was launching flame strikes, guiding bolts, and all sorts of potent cleric spells. However, it ended with an animal handling check as the fighter produces a carrot he had (he stole some from a cultist earlier) and bribed it to not smite them.
The party eventually decided to induce thr holy war because their time with these two culr groups informed them that both of them sucked.
In our Lost Mines game, we managed to capture the wizard Glassstaff alive, and held him and another Redbrand bandit we captured alive down in the prison they had under the manor. My barbarian zealot (who would later multiclass into paladin) was left to guard him. During one moment when he was checking on the bandit, Glassstaff used a misty step spell to get out of the cell and tried to stun my barbarian with another spell. I succeeded the save, raged, and proceeded to roll a nat 20 with my greatsword on a wizard already low on HP. My barbarian took off Glasstaff's head, and the DM, who was new to DMing, had to end the session early 'cause I had just killed an essential NPC! Poor guy, he ended up making a cool replacement with some help with another player, a more experienced DM, but I still kinda felt bad 'cause I had no idea Glassstaff was important later in the story.
It was in a dungeon crawl where we had to position some statues a certain way it would cause a stone wall to move and reveal a hidden room. One of the rooms had some monsters in it and my character moved the statue back into place causing the stone wall to slide back into place trapping the monsters inside. Oops wrong door!
Spaceballs: The DnD Fight
I was DM'ing a homebrew campaign, and the party was dared by a "beloved" NPC to explore a creepy cave near their home kingdom, that secretly lead to a dungeon where the princess (who had recently gone missing) of said kingdom was being locked up, but they didn't know it yet. They got through about 1 floor of the dungeon, and got to the second (and last) floor where they had to fight a Goliath Guard Captain. After a dragged out scuffle, the Goliath was on 5 HP. The Barbarian Dragonborn attempted to "cut off his toes" with his battleaxe. However, he scored a Nat 20 (not including the +3), which meant he "chopped off not his toes, but rather both of his feet", killing the Goliath instantly. We were all laughing for 5 straight minutes.
i was once in a pathfinder combat that was less of a combat and more of a puzzle, we had just taken a valuable gem from a rat folk that was causing some trouble, soon after this cat person hit man (hitcat?) comes up to us and "politely" asks for it. We say no because we just got it and combat begins. I rolled terribly and ended up being at the bottom of initiative, right under the catfolk. Combat begins and the other party members don't do much because he hasn't done anything yet and doesn't seem like a threat. His turn comes around and he proceeds to click his stop watch, say to himself "6 seconds should be enough" and TELEPORT UP TO OUR WITCH AND ONE SHOT HER, as soon as he does, the stopwatch activates, and time reverses back to the top of the round. And the "combat" proceeded like this, with the party trying to figure out how to get away from this guy and without our witch dying and without time resetting. All the while my clueless monk just sat there for about 5 "rounds" none the wiser and looking at bugs on the ground. It was the greatest combat i've ever experienced due to sheer ridiculousness.
I had a bag of holding that I'd been putting EVERY spare weapon I found into. Got to the fight with the BBEG and did 97 damage with one attack at level 8... I probably dropped the CR of that fight down 2 levels
One sentence nuke vs dragon
My friend crit failed, broke his bow, bitched, moaned and refused to pick up another bow off the battle field littered with weapons. Decides to punch mob (as a stealth archer) Crit fails again, breaks arm and goes into a saving throw. Me having enough at this point hurl his almost lifeless body at the last remaining bad guy, end both, many laughs were had and he rolled a much better character.
The time my first level halfling cleric with rather average scores fought an ogre one on one, and won. I ran at the ogre, just to dive between his legs and wack him in the groin. Next, attack him from behind as he turns around. Just as he finishes turning around, dive between his legs again and wack his exposed family jewels. He was wearing only a loin cloth. Ogre loose two attacks from the pain as he tries to protect his balls. Repeat that 6 more times and the ogre is no more.
Last Saturday. The party is in the elemental plane of ooze (oblivion swamp.) By way of wild magic that teleported them out of the material plane away from the Space Chuck E. Cheese that was emploding. All but the sorcerer split off from the ship to go to what is essentially a Thunderdome and began combat.
While the wild mage sorcerer met an old woman named Granny on a boat. Then eventually got chased by Bwynb. If you don't know, Bwynb is the god of the elemental plane of ooze. So the sorcerer and Granny are running and fighting against Bwynb. Mass spells wild magic and a rental Gundam Mech Suit from Granny later, Bwynb is dead.
Meanwhile the rest of the party is stuck in the Thunderdome fighting multiple enemies while one of the party had what was essentially Loony Toons paint and clownism.
The masochists and the octopus. Heard it. But still funny.
Mawg has checked in.😏😏😏
Came up against a Beholder in a dungeon, we were in the middle of planning how to arrange our Frontline fighters to draw it's attention to keep it's antimagic eye off the casters when our mage pulls out a pocketful of sand and throws it in the Beholder's face, blinding it for 3 turns in the central eye
We were fighting some hobgoblins while trying to escort a caravan of villagers, I (a paladin) tried to stop the AOE spell caster cause all my fellow players were grouped and hurt, they kept yelling at me to heal them, but with all my healing spells being touch, and it taking 2 rounds to get to them, I maintained focus on the wizard (who I had earlier eldritch blasted directly in the crotch, I'm also a warlock) anyway, our new cleric takes down the goblin boss with moonbeam, but not before he calls something big. And out of the forest, thunders a great, big, angry... spectral troll... for those that don't know, they're weak to radiant damage, I have a weapon that deals 4d8 plus 6d8 with smite radiant damage on crit, and I have an at will crit ability once per long rest, he had 130 health, in 1 hit I did 110 damage, then the cleric hit him with moonbeam, it took 1 turn, he became ashes and vanished
TLDR; fought a spectral troll with a paladin and cleric, it did not go well for the troll
The party had a mission to reclaim a farm that was *attacked by the earth itself* our party consisted of, 0 humans. I do not remember the name of the monster but it was a burrowing one with silver grey skin, looks like a dodongo from zelda.
it was chased into the land by poachers, so after beating them. near death, and letting one of the poachers live, and bringing back some kidnapped monster babies,
we where not sure if the mom wanted to leave of her own will, 2 things about this creature, my character, being good with animals, get to know trough a check, that they hate humanoids, and aperantly DESPISE the taste of grey dwarves, one of wich was in our party, however, i forgot about the latter fact after the poachers.
i did remember it hated humanoids. Wanting to scare it away, i ask if anyone can turn into a bigger humanoid, aperantly the grey warf can tuen bigger.
He does and trying to simply scare the minster off the lands, he ends up traumatizing the poor monster, after litterally screaming in High pitched fear, it grabs all its babies into its mouth, and SPEEDS trough the earth.
So the 4th level party had just finished a Beyond Lethal encounter against 5 normal yeti _and_ an Abdominal Yeti the Fighter had been hunting for weeks in-game and months IRL.
They go to the cave and I tell the artificer to roll perception. He sees a creature start to move in the cave and says he immediately shoots it with his crossbow.
“A child-sized yeti tyke walks up, looks at the blood streaming from his chest, and cries out at you as he falls over, dead. You see a second yeti tyke look over at his dead sibling and-“ the artificer interrupts me, “I shoot the kid.”
“The screaming, crying yeti gets blasted in the head and falls over. Roll another perception check.”
“18”
“You see movement out of the corner of your eye”
“I SHOOT IT TOO!”
“You reflexively shoot as a snow bunny hops out of the cave and gets skewered.”
The whole rest of the party are dying laughing and the Druid is like “oh god no”
Abdominal Yeti?
@@jonathanmarks3112 abominable, typo.
They’re a much higher CR than normal yeti.
I am a dragonborn paladin and it was my first campaign, At the start of the campaign it was a rainy night, we were traveling in a wagon when we were ambushed by goblins and our DM put 5 different figures to rep. each goblin, fast forward to near the end of the fight i see the last goblin in the forest (or so i thought) i run up to it and attack, the DM says roll a d20 which i land a nat 1, then he makes me roll another d20, confused i asked why but he just said because (his favorite answer to any question) so i roll another i hit thirteen its a hit so roll 1d8 + 3 and land an eight so i strike down the goblin, but its soft and mushy and it falls to the ground,no blood, because it was a frickin carboard cut out of a goblin and the first d20 was a perception check, I ran up to the goblin cut out had a good close look at it, then determined i must be real, we all had a good laugh and finished the fight :)
we had just killed Iymrith during a long campaign of SKT and were looting her lair when we open the last sarcophagus...mummy lord everyone just started laughting and the thing literally died to the npcs that were with us before any menber of the group actually died
So I am just starting my first campaign as a DM. I have a party of 4, tabaxi druid a kobold fighter a drow Eldritch Knight and a fairy wizard. They where on a mission for the lord to find out why people where getting attacked by hobogoblins. It leads them the hobogoblins village in the forest. There is a cave at the back of the village. They had discovered that some hellhounds had made their home in that cave.
Night was falling and the party decided to rest just on the outskirts of the village, and explore it in the morning. As they all settle in, the kobold says, "I'm going to go meditate in front of the cave."
Me(DM),"Are you sure you want to do that? You want to meditate in front of the cave where you know there is at least 3 hellhounds?"
"Yes, I do.", he says.
"Ooookkkkaayyy? " ,Me(DM)
So a fog starts bellowing out of the cave around you, and all of a sudden a cone of fire comes blasting through the fog aimed at you. Unfortunately since you where meditating you did not see the fog or the cone of fire. He took a direct hit. He didn't take much damage being a red kobold. He could not see due to the fog and barely missed being bitten in half by a hellhound. I gave the party a chance to roll and see if they where awake and noticed the fire. Luckily, the Druid did and woke the rest of the party up,and they came to his rescue. They ended winning against 4 hellhounds.
There is some more but I felt like that was long enough. Let's just say, by the end our kobold was in death save rolls by the end, and our drow ended up tossed from his rhino face down in the mud, and after he took out one of the hellhounds, the fairy lost an arm, the only one who walked away unhurt was the druid.
This might be more strange, sad, and even cute and less funny but it was still a really fun encounter. I recently started my first campaign with some friends and people I met through them and we were doing a campaign based around slay the spire. The party consists of my character, a Dragonborn paladin, a fairy bard, and a human monk that was based around aang from avatar the last airbender. The opponents? A group of louse larvae. The best highlights of it include the bard using dissonant whispers, which the person playing it decided to have the character say random things for the whispers, which in this case was literally among us, as well as after me killing 2 of the monsters without the enemy activating it’s special ability, which makes it so that they gain 10 temporary hit points when they hit half their life points, and another getting defeated after the ability activated, the last ended up rolling a nat 1 on their attack roll. The result? Instead of attacking, the louse acted really cute, and the DM gave me the option of either killing it and getting experience, or sparing it and keeping it as a pet. I chose the latter and now a have a pet louse named Larry, and another cool thing about it, Larry can let me use one of its abilities once per combat, which are either making an opponent go last, regardless of their initiative roll or giving me 10 temporary hit points when I hit half health. Another crazy part of it I also didn’t take any damage at all during that fight nor the following one, both of which we did in the same session
Also that wasn’t the full party quite a few of the members of the group couldn’t make it for one reason or another
Our party of four were heading to an adult red dragon’s lair to slay it, and we came across a room full of baby kobolds being watched by elderly kobolds who were all very sweet and nice. We get deeper into the lair and find prisoners and set them free as all the able-bodied adult kobolds rushed into the room and initiated combat. My twilight cleric of Ilmater (god of perseverance and suffering) who is normally so sweet and nice that she might as well be a saint immediately started yelling at them. She didn’t speak Draconic, but the sentiment got through. “Are you EFFING KIDDING ME!? You have your PARENTS AND CHILDREN UPSTAIRS to take care of, and you’re picking a fight with the group who came here with the goal of killing THE RED DRAGON YOU SERVE. WHAT CHANCE DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE!? YOU’RE THROWING YOUR LIVES AWAY!” Apparently intimidated/guilted them into standing down and fleeing with their families. 😂
So I have a silly one. My DM set up a group of skeletons with strong weapons called typewriters. They were tri-shot crossbows that wrote a random letter onto the bolts they fired. If it spelled a word, it crit.
But I was playing a werewolf who was FULLY into puppy mode. I got a surprise round cuz I pounced them mid monologue. The DM didn't expect it, but rolled with it. "OH MY GOD THEY GOT GREG! RATTLE EM BOYS!" I crit one-shot the first skeleton.
My Rime of the Frostmaiden party was in the final boss battle with Auril and her Roc Iskra. Thing is, we did not know her name was Iskra, or that she was a she. So at the beginning of the fight, one of the players ended up deciding to just call the thing Dwayne. So as a result, we spent this entire epic final boss battle with a winter goddess and her pet kaiju (which was in a kaiju brawl with my Draconic Spirit and the Cleric's summoned Celestial) calling the latter 'Dwayne.
To cap it all off, when the Warlock killed the Roc with Mental Prison, he included the image of his patron staring her down, doing the People's Eyebrow.
in a campaign that was setting up the story for a different DM's BBEG, we had a battle with a giant fish that my fighter pulled out of the water. the fish ate the warlock's book and we threw attacks at it while it attempted to retreat back into the river. so after some spells and my character becoming a young dragon temporarily, we caught it and the party had sushi that day. it later bit me back as i tried to give some of the leftover sushi to a baby dragon and it chomped on my hand...hard
I got a good story involving a young green dragon a cult and me and my older brother ( I was playing a bronze dragonborn barbarian my brother was an ork cleric)
So me and my party were sent to find a druid who had info we needed for a quest and we managed to find him in a distroyed village that also had a green dragon complete with its own cult so after seeking over to the building they were hiding out in my brother a ork cleric dicided to kick down the front door and fails I dicide that I wanted to go through a window I then failed to jump through the window this went own for a couple atemps but eventually power dm basically told our toes to go pivk the lock at the back door after we got in I managed to hit a near maxe damage lightning breath that just turned all five of the cultist to dust
The party wound up in a massive prison that was essentially being used by the homebrew settings government to just throw all the criminals of the world in so they wouldn’t be a problem.
There was an arena down there that a whole bunch of prisoners were randomly chosen to brawl in from time to time to reduce the population. So, the party wound up in there fighting it out.
For the most part, the combat went pretty well, but then there was just this… one… gnoll…
I have no idea why, but dice Jesus just decided “Hey. This guy? Yeah, he’s not dying today.”
Not a SINGLE attack hit them, and it eventually became a comedy of them somehow unintentionally avoiding everything the party threw at them.
It got to the point after being attacked so much, and barely being hit or landing a hit, he literally just sadly said “I’m just gonna go…” and just… left.
And of course, NO opportunity attacks hit him, as he just left the damn arena.
Party was ambushed by bandits inside a tavern. One somehow got the bandit chief drunk on first round. So I say the other bandits think he died and will avenge them, if they want to take him hostage they have to prove he's alive. So they wake him up, with a critical damage hit. 40 hitpoints, damage of 38 (different Ruleset, not DnD per se). I thought, yeah he's paraplegic now but alive. They manage to escape barely and now the whole bandit story turned into a "actually capable bandit chief becomes the puppetmaster of the paraplegic de jure chief". Completely different storyline. Unfortunately we didn't last longer than 2 more sessions, but I'll recycle it I guess.
we only had 2 combats in the current game, Paladin went first and knocked a bandit down, leavin him on 4 hp, for some reason the Rogue decided he could stand in the front kline and brawl too, got knocked down and from 11 hp (we were all lvl 1 st the time) rogue ended up on 4 hp himself, druid heals him, 2 more bandits with cross bows appear and attack but both missed.
Finally My Warlock "Hope" got to act she dropped her hood revealing her tiefling horns rolled nat 20 for Eldritch blast or dm say its double dice rolled not double damage for our table, ok thn i roll 2d10 and roll 20.
eve1 laughs Dm goes "Well hes dead" cue a long rest after the fight.
2nd fight rogue now having learned hes not as good at front line figting as paladin starts using sneak attack but rolls a nat 1 on his second victim and alarm is raised, I'm first, and literaaly explode a barrel of gunpowder from the treeline with EB explosion killed 3 guards and a bandit rebranfing cheap rotgut as high end whiskey, more bandits appear but fail to spot us in the trees as its night time.
wetween my Ev shots, Lobbed Produce flame shots and javelins and arrows set on fire we wiped out most 0f them. as we headinto the ruin being used as a rotgut distillery 3 more guards rub out vut ran out of movement before getting into melee range and they only had cudjels or daggers sadly they were close enough forwards for Druid to walk forwards and cast Thunderwave. they bandit leader?
I used thaumaturgy to make his hiding spot stink like a skunk spray and he ran out and realisng all his mean were smoking boots or bloodstains on the floor, or very pincunishoned corpses he surrendered
I was going through the sewerw of waterdeep with the rest of my lvl1 party consistinh of me (dps wizard), our monk, our druid and our rogue, so NO tank. Additionally, most of us are on low health from a previous BS encounter. Our GM later said he planned that he planned around an hour of combat time for this.
- Be me
- See buffed gazer moving straight to us
- Ask GM if it is still in the sewage
- Yes
- Ask if we are on solid ground
- Yes
- I cast chromatic Orb. Lightning. With an advantage roll (Lightning into eater)
- It hits. GM throws a nat 1 on defense. I instantly fry the gazer in a sauce of piss and shit and derail the entire combat scenario my GM has planned.
- I see the cigarette falling out of his mouth, a stunned look on his face.
- Get nervous as he starts to grin...
- ... The shit Nocturnus just fried the enemy in evaporated together withits remains in a cloud of putrid smoke making this intolerable smell absolutely hellish. Roll a con save, gentlemen...
- Guess who got a nat 1...
- and covered the entire party with vomit. Together with my soellbook. So I had to roll a 1d10 everytime I cast a spell and my spells would simply not work if I got a 1 due to my book being full of puke.
Funniest combat moments?
- D&D: "Mine is the Halfling that will pierce the heavens!"
I was playing a level 3 Human Fighter, a tall, musclebound, galant, dashing, Sword&Board Knight with the IQ of a sack of potatos.
We also had a Human Fighter who used dual hand crossbows, a Halfling Fighter who used a rapier, and a ... I don't remember what the 4th guy was, a Homebrew-treeman Cannoneer I think? It was homebrew so not worth thinking about.
While walking through the woods, we ended up facing off against a group of bandits who had stolen an old man's walking stick. The bandits were actually angels and the old man was a god, but that's mostly irrelevant. 4 of the bandits had long bows and 3 more came at us with swords.
Combat began, The halfling and I charged into the fray, the Crossbow Fighter and the Tree sat back to provide support. a couple rounds of combat later and I had hacked through two swordsmen, the Halfling through the third. The Crossbow Fighter shot down the archerer at ground level and the Tree missed. There remained 3 more archerers, all at elevated positions to us. The Crossbow Fighter killed one at the middle distance from us, leaving only the ones closest and farthest away still standing. We were wounded and didn't have the speed to get to the furthest away bandit before he fired again, and they hadn't missed yet. The halfling looked up at me and said "Throw me." and I did. A Nat-20 on my ranged attack, and I threw that halfling straight through the bandits stomach and off into the distance of the forest (we found him a few hours later) I then lept up to the last remaining bandit and cut him down as he turned to flee.
After returning the old man his walking stick, and him vanishing, the DM told me that my gauntlets were now enchented, to give me Weapon Proficiency: Halfling, and advantage to ranged attacks made with Halflings.
- Star Trek, The RPG
Our party (A vulcan medical officer, a Human pilot, a Human soldier, and myself - a Klingon spy from the mirror universe) had been abducted by a mysterious race of aliens living in subspace.
We each woke up alone, naked and locked in cell, except for me, I woke up strapped to a medical table hooked up to machines and about to be cut open. Each of the others was able to get past the locks to their cell, The Vulcan hacked the computer terminal to override the locks, the Soldier kicked the door down, and the Pilot picked the locks. The Soldier did well, he found all of our supplies and weapons in lockup and started fighting his way down any corridor he could find hoping to link up with the rest of us and escape. The Medical officer went straight up into the air vents and played Predator with the locals. The Pilot... got his teeth kicked in and got a stun baton shoved down his throat by the first guard patrol he ran into. The soldier intercepted him on his way to a different set of holding cells and rescued him.
I ripped free of the restraints, grabbed the nearest alien and used him like a makeshift club to beat his friends, and the guards, and the door, and everything else I saw just for good measure.
Eventually we all linked up in a main central room on the station, the Soldier carrying the Pilot, I with my... third alien/club by that point, and the Medical officer sitting on a pile of corpses using one's skull as a makeshift bong. (He had problems)
We made our way to the hanger, retrieved our stolen Bird of Prey, rigged some power cells to blow the whole place to hell, and went home. The DM informed us at the end of the session that along with my normal level-up rewards, I had earned the bonus feat "Weapon Proficiency: Alien Scientist"
- Wicked Ones
So, this one's tough.
The Party consisted of a Demoness Hunter with her pet Hell Hound, and a couple of demon mage hirelings
an Orc Marauder (think Fighter) and his 3 loyal bodyguards (3 more Orc fighters)
and Myself, an Orc Shaman specializing in Blood Magic.
Probably the funniest combat encounter we had was with the family of inbred pig farmers who happened to live in the woods near our dungeon. On the way back home from stealing a boat and turning all the men, women, and children of an entire fishing village into a red soup, we happened to catch and kill a pig for dinner.
This was the event that lead to a retaliation raid against us. See, that particular pig was to be litte Jimbo Billy-Bob's dinner (JB-B being a 6ft tall, 500lb 2/yo who would eat an entire hog for dinner every night) and the family wanted to get it back. The Family, consisting of SisterMother, GrandpaDad, UncleBrother, CousinSon, and Boy, decided to grab whatever weapons they had (A single Shovel) and by-gum they was gonna get that pig back. Their stats were _terrible_ they were just meant to be an easy joke fight that wouldn't get past our front gate guards and be a quick end to that night's session so we could all go home.
They _slaughtered_ their way through our entire dungeon. Our front gate guards were taken down before they could even raise the alarm. They foiled every trick, broke every trap, picked every lock. They trashed our bar, they ransacked the alchemy lab, they killed our pet cave troll, they didn't even get hit once as they walked straight in to our inner sanctum where the PC's were busy bickering about where the stolen boat would look best.
"Now look here you sunova-gun, My Name's GrandpaDad and I'm-" and that's as far as they got before they all swelled up and popped like blood filled balloons.
Warlock, after casting the spell: "... who the fuck were they?"
Marauder: "I dunno."
Demoness: "Nobody impportant."
PANR has tuned in.
Not a combat but we ended up talking to a sassy, valley girl horse... Not horse girl a sassy horse with a valley girl voice-We were sneaking into a manor through the stables and the druid decided to talk to the fanciest horse there with speak with animals
Not the funniest, but it happened recently and made me laugh. Ok so it's a Homebrew Pathfinder campaign (at the time, party is at level 2). My Rougarou Samurai, another Samurai, a Ninja, and a Halfling Rogue. Okay, so we ambushing a group of 4 Bandit scouts. We all got decent stealth checks and the scouts got bad perception checks. So we had a surprise round. I have 2 weapons fighting (Katana and Wakisashi). I roll my first attack and it's a nat 1. DM goes high or low (it doesn't go my way) so I ended up jamming my Katana into the ground. DM lets me take my second attack; another nat 1, another high or low going against me. My Wakiashi goes into the ground. Combat officially starts and he blows his horn to let his bandit camp know and attempts to flee. My turn and I pull out my Long Bow. I hit and roll damage. I intended to wound him and interrogate him since he is the last scout alive. Max damage and he's dead. I found it hilarious how everything turned out. The other samurai ended up dueling and beating the bandit leader while the rest of us did whatever. It was a success, but boy did I bot expect any of it.
Thinking of some Dnd campaign ideas, then I came to the twisted realization of rimworld dnd. Does it not fit together? Tons of races, backgrounds, genes and more; along with several fitting endings. You become an architect god, escape to the stars, take over the world and more; this sounds like a campaign that is waiting to be made
our party found a group of zombies and skeletons in the kitchen room of some ancient crypts. we were getting attacked with pots pans, ladles, big wood spoons and ofc some knives. some of the monsters resorted to hiding and throwing food like bread and various vegetables, so at the end of every round our dm would roll to see who got hit in the head with bread or a radish (it served absolutely no purpose in combat aside from being really funny and kinda a fuck you to whoever got hit)
a hole
a fucking hole,
MY PARTY ALMOST TPK'D
*TO A HOLE*
it was a pitfall, and me and 1 other pc got trapped it in
i made it out easily, on the other hand, the other pc failed 3 times in a row, died to fall damage, then our cleric jumped in the hole, revived him with a potion, then both died to the hole.
i helped them with a rope
the dc was *7*
I always liked these vids
Creative idea dude
Also First
So the funniest encounter I've ever been in was when we had to fight a 300 ft tall Cookie Monster. It was funny until I blew up his cookie. Then he tried to murder us all. We burned him alive. Dm told me later he would've let us kill him if I hadn't blown up his cookie.
Boss battle of a high level one shot. Giant world ending dragon thing of CR 'You die now' vs a party of half a dozen 17th level characters. Looked like an epic fight, until the Summoner Wizard got the initiative. Used Summon Monster 9 to summon 6 Vrocks, and triggered a prepared contingency spell to do the same thing again (He had Superior Summons Feat and a splash book feat that automatically gave him maximum numbers of summoned creatures).
They surrounded it, did Dance of Ruin (four Vrocks doing 20 D6 Elecricity damage on a DC 20 Ref save) three times over. Turned out it had no resistance to Electricity, and being Colossal, it's Reflex save sucked harder than a vampire in a blood bank. One shot insta-kill.
Not so much funny ha ha as funny WTF!