I think as soon as she said, "It's not about your comfort..." that would be enough for me to decide that the friendship was one sided and not worth maintaining.
My MAID OF HONOR talked trash behind my back to the other bridesmaids and called me a “prude” because I didn’t want strippers at my bachelorette. I ended up having to kick her out of my wedding for a combination of things but yeah. Pretty shitty. We had been friends for over 10years.
My mom told her friends that during her bachelorette party, if there was to be one, all she wanted was a night in, some good food and great company. What did the friends do? Kidnapp her and drag her to a "club" (IT was the 90's, they went dancing and there was a bar) and drink all night doing stuff she wasn't into. She had just found out that she was pregnant with me and keeping it on the down low so she couldn't join them/wouldn't and it was a disaster all around. They ended up ditching her in their drunkeness and mom called home to be picked up. Sometimes it isn't the bride that is a zilla - it's the friends taking advantage of an event to live out their old glory days.
Oh Jesus on all my birthdays friends weren't happy just sitting having a drink with me , it was always 'this is boring let's go elsewhere' I'm autistic I don't like crowded places, so I'd say I wanted to go home and they'd just fuck off out without me. Even on my 21st we all went for dinner then back to my house with all my family there and we were guna go out later, my 'friends' tried to convince me to leave my own fucjing party as soon as we finished eating. They then stole £200 of my birthday money from my bedroom while I was in the other room opening presents with my family. I fucking HATE people 🤬
oof. Ya, I think you gotta respect the bride's wishes and comfort zone for things like that. It doesn't mean that you cater to her every unrealistic whim, but if she says no strippers or no getting trashes then respect that.
I'm really not a bridezilla, but I knew what I wanted, which was my bachelorette party to be about me and what would make it fun for me and the wedding to be about me and my husband and our wishes... I had a bridesmaidzilla, that made both days about her, because "You don't know how hard it is to not even have a boyfriend yet" (she was 22) - I'm the kind of person who hates being the center of attention and never is... But I really wanted to have those two days 😑 I haven't talked to that zilla since... It's been 9 years
That's awful! They were obviously more concerned with THEM having a good time than making it about the Bride. I really can't believe people. They could've planned something quiet with her early on, then gone drinking after if they were that desperate.
Clearly she's a selfish party girl who has no concept of what marriage really is....unlike June. I think OP's real problem is that June has a strong moral compass that deep down she knows makes her look really bad in comparison. OP wanted the strippers but knew it looked dirty of her if June true to form morally objected and didn't show up . She was probably even gleefully anticipating finally getting some dirt on her squeaky clean friend to ease feeling bad about herself. This is why she was so furious when June steadfastly refused to give in to her harassment and made it clear that it was not going to happen which only made her look worse.
"You're not a bachelorette anymore" So True lol. It's like saying "I didn't have a good sweet 16 so I want a redo party", "Ma'am you're 30...that chance has passed."
agreed! I'm sure they are no longer friends. As I am sure the OP is no longer married since she clearly likes playing "single" for a night here and there.
As someone who had a friend like this, it’s not worth it. If they can’t respect your boundaries then they just overall don’t actually care about you. And it will continue.
I love the fact that June the bridesmaid doesn’t want to be around strippers out of respect for her husband. June is going to be married a lot longer than the bachelorette/bridezilla.
Even if she was just a prude that would be for her to decide on how she's happy. You can be a prude if you want to (just dont expect others to be too, but that go both ways).
@@martinaasandersen3775 ok let's say June is just a total prude. All things aside why on earth would u want your best friend to feel super uncomfortable just for your day! If I knew my bestie wasn't ok with this I would not force her. I would ask if she explained to me that this is why or what ever her reason was . I would respect that. Why bc it is my best friend. My bestie and I are opposite big time always have been. But this is why I love her! And if this was me and her I would just let it go and see my bestie tomorrow
facts! My sister and I got invited to a bachelorette party that had strippers and we didn't know prior to coming they would be there. It was uncomfortable how far things went with the soon to be bride. We left early. Their marriage failed in less than 2 years. Mine was a pool/pizza party with John Hughes movies, no strippers, no crazy amount of money spent, just good clean fun. Married 28 years. My husband and his groomsmen went bowling and played pool, they had a great time, no strippers or booze. I feel like people who have strippers at their parties are more likely to cheat and get divorced because they clearly still want to play single.
Anyone on AITA who says, “He/She needs to drop his/her goody-two-shoes act/attitude!” is automatically the a-hole. Who calls someone that unironically? Who types up a story to post on there and thinks, “Using a phrase that only a villain in a bad 1980s cartoon would use is sure to win people over to my side and make them attack this person for daring to have standards instead of being my puppet!”?
Hey, June CHB a wild one before she met this guy she married, but in any case, it is HER decision to eschew male strippers. I was a wild one, with a rule with my group of friends that "Whatever happens outside the continental United States, but Florida included, stays outside the continental United States and Florida".... However, I immediately become more like June when I am in love in a committed relationship. I would be uncomfortable with strippers, plus I would NOT want to open up THAT can of worms, BC guys going to a reg strip club, with easy sex in your face, bothers me, even though I think I would trust him, or I would not have made the commitment. SO, NO strippers for either of us.
Yeah, using the phrase "goody-two-shoes" as an adult is a definite red flag. Chances are that's code for "I like to be more extreme (or irresponsible in some cases) than they're comfortable with, so clearly their boundaries are the problem."
Update on the last reddit (post from reddit): Thanks for all the comments, it gave me a lot to think about and cry about. Thanks for the more civil ones especially. Didn't think it would get this much engagement, so it's good to see multiple POVs. After some time, it seems like only the other folks with anxiety problems are on my side, lol. But I gotta learn to deal with non-anxious folk to get through life, right? I think we both made mistakes, but I made more. She shouldn't have even invited me, she shoulda confronted me while things were happening so I could amend my behavior. But I shouldn't have attended in the fist place. FOMO aside, I was also worried that not attending was worse than attending and doing my best to deal, which turned out to be a bad move. I didn't know the social rules, straight-up. I should have been more of a trooper and less of a busybody (both were things I didn't realize I was doing at all.) These are all things that are exacerbated by my anxiety/depression. Made an appointment for therapy fwiw. Gotta un-asshole. UPDATE: Uhhhhhhh I just learned that BRIDE entirely broke off her friendship from the Maid of Honor (friends for 5+ years) for the crime of implying BRIDE was washing some dishes oddly, so adjust your Asshole status according to this new information. She did it VIA EMAIL too. I'm still gonna get therapy but I think we're safely in BRIDEZILLA territory at this point.
Tell you what, the way OP approached this thread is pretty commendable. She seems level-headed, accepting of her flaws and mistakes, and willing to learn from them.
I've had massive social anxiety in my younger years, so I really understood your point of view, social anxiety can really sometimes come off as having a massive ego when it's not that at all. But yeah, gotta learn how to deal with non-anxious folks to get through life. But also you need to be able to set up healthy boundaries for yourself. Healthy boundaries that especially include not taking responsibility for other peoples choices if you don't have to. Example: prevent your friend from drunk driving - good boundary, prevent your friend from experiencing a bad hangover - not your problem. And telling off that guy at the bar was perhaps a start in developing healthy boundaries. But it's a messy process. We're all the AH sometimes. So all in all, don't see this experience as a huge mistake, it was a few days filled with valuable lessons for the rest of your life. Best wishes for the future.
@@stoferb876 If it had been any other night, I would agree with you that it wasn't her problem to recommend her friend avoid a hangover. But it wasn't any other night, it was the night before her wedding. She was just trying to be a good friend and look out for someone who was about to have a huge day the next day or next few days. Imo, the other people in this situation were the AH, not OP. Her heart was in the right place, and others clearly didn't appreciate that. And their reaction to her concern and behavior was 10x worse than anything she did.
I took my closest female friends to a local waterpark for my bachelorette party (in late June). We spent several hours riding waterslides, going around the lazy river, chatting, and bonding. It was exactly what I wanted and I was so happy!
The “point” of a bachelorette party isn’t always to get trashed. Some people want to do other things to spend time with their friends before they get married. The idea that you MUST do it is really pretty ridiculous.
But she was Gatekeeping everyone elses drinking. I get that she didn't want to drink much. She didn't have to try and stop everyone else. I don't drink, but as long as you're legal age and not driving. Have fun!
@@MandieTerrier she wasn’t trying to stop everybody. She just wanted them to slow down, so the after wouldn’t be as hard and them complaining about a heavy hangover.
No, not that you must.. but to try and stop the bride to be from getting trashed is the issue. Let her do what she wants. As long as it's not something that can hurt her or others obviously. If they want to get wasted, then by all means, you let them get wasted. The idea of a bachelorette party is to get trashed, and party for one last night with a group of girlfriends. That doesn't mean that's what anyone HAS to do, and no one said you "must."
@@tyffaneelavely8087 if you are not used to that, it looks like you asking for her to cheer on the bride hurting herself . . . which technicly she was. The bride activly tried to poison herself
As a former bartender, I can tell you that there is nothing worse than having to serve a bunch of loud, obnoxious, entitled women whose sole purpose of the event is to get the bride (and themselves) so shitfaced that they don't remember anything from the night. What is the point? Stop doing it. It's dangerous.
I was a bartender also, in Brooklyn, and I worried despite their awful behavior BC I was roofied at 18. Plus, the booze alone will knock you out like a roofie, and the guys would circle the group like sharks!
When I was in high school, the general attitude was "if you're not drunk, you aren't having fun" and "if you can remember the night, it couldn't have been fun." I still don't understand that attitude, and thought it quite stupid. As you say, what's the point? Don't you want memories to laugh at, and reminisce about, or is that too grown up for you? Needless to say, I didn't go to parties much in high school.
I was miserable at my cousin's bachelorette. It was a beach weekend, which I was excited about and wanted to attend to support my cousin and spend time with her and family (as I live in a different state than everyone else). The beach stuff was fun and relaxed, but then they wanted to have a bar hopping night, and it's just really not my scene. But it wasn't my bachelorette, so I sucked it up and went to the bars...where I was consistently losing the other party goers, getting groped by drunk dudes, and unable to hear due to overly loud music. It was really hard for me, but I kept trying (I didn't want to be a wet blanket)...until this one guy would not leave me alone. I finally had enough and gave him such an attitude and death glare (maybe I said something snarky too, can't really remember) he backed off and sulked away. I decided I'd had enough, called our agreed upon ride to leave, and told the others I was leaving but to have fun. The next morning some of the party were giving me a hard time because I'd apparently "scared" the 6'2, 250lb dude who I gave attitude to (I'm 5'2 and around 145lb), and I responded that my body isn't up for grabs just because I'm in a bar. He didn't just try once to put hands on me and despite my consistently letting him know I wasn't comfortable, he persisted, and I finally had enough. I wasn't going to apologize for that.
I would have left after losing track of party goers. The group should have stuck together for safety and it sounded like they didn't care for you at all. I'm sorry you had to go through that. This is why I don't care for the bar scene either.
if people can't understand that you won't be going to participate in a certain part of the bachelorette party because it makes you uncomfortable, then they aren't worth your time. also, the fact that they gave you a hard time for fending of that guy (rightfully so) says a lot about what kind of people they are. I'm glad you got home safe
I've personally experienced the last story about "non-consensual drinks".Mine happened at work and I thought it was just a lunch out. Then at the end, someone brought beers for everyone; the beers were already opened, no going back. They kept hounding me as to why I wasn't drinking and wouldn't take no for an answer because "(person) already brought the drinks". So I drank it, and not even ten minutes later I had to go home because my whole mouth flared up with rashes and my neck was starting to itch. I'm allergic to fermented drinks, but somehow they wouldn't accept when I just said "I can't", they thought I was being a killjoy and these were people that I go to work with every day, some were people who were at a higher station than me. It might be funny and overdramatic for people who don't have to deal with that situation, but when you're there that's what it totally is... a non-consensual drink.
I think you needed to be more assertive. If a man kept hounding you for sex and wouldn’t take no for an answer, the minute you give in is the minute you consent. The minute you drank it is the minute you consented. Be assertive, be a bitch if you need to, but don’t believe that anyone other than you is in control of or responsible for your choices. Otherwise you’re an easy target and always a victim.
Um... That really does sound like it's on you. Were there not any other ways you could think to deal with the situation rather than drinking something you were allergic to? Like, my friend will literally go into anaphylactic shock and die if she drinks alcohol, and she has never poisoned herself at a work do because people were pressuring her to drink. And they have tried. So... Yeah, I have limited sympathy. If she can deal with it and not lose her job, you're doing something wrong if you have to poison yourself.
@@gokuxsephiroth4505 some people, especially women, young women, have a hard time saying no, being assertive, because they are people pleasers. I wouldn’t say there’s something wrong with them, I’d say they need to learn skills to overcome peer pressure, or other pressure. I think it’s about asking yourself, why do I find it difficult to say no, to stick to my values? Everyone has room to grow, it’s not that there’s something wrong with them. Having a victim mentality, that others did this to me, is a mentality that needs to be changed. Take accountability and say, I chose to drink that, nobody made me do it, I’m unhappy with my choice…is how you grow. But honestly, saying, there is something wrong with me, is also a victim mentality, and talking to yourself like that is toxic. Also I don’t think she was asking for your sympathy, just telling her story. I don’t know why you feel the need to come at her with such avarice.
@@gokuxsephiroth4505 it's funny to me you are more concerned about her going against peer pressure rather than the fact alcohol is a drug and for some reason it's acceptable to push it onto people. I don't drink and I don't have to explain myself. If I say no stop pressuring. It's ridiculous.
really, I don't know why you drank it at all if you knew you were allergic. That doesn't sound like friends, that sounds like douchebags. Personally, I would've, and have done this, is offer it first to someone who wanted it because I don't drink and I won't. I don't like alcohol. and if they insisted I would've have purposefully have tipped it over and poured it out while staring at the group dead ass stare so they would KNOW it wasn't an accident because if they're going to be asshats, I might as well be one too.
The level of toxicity some of these people have is scary!! And that poor "June" bridesmaid with the strippers, man... Like if your bride is willing to be THAT selfish with her own friend, what do you think she's going to do with you once you're married? That was a personal boundary she set and that bride was willing to cross it in the name of her own selfishness. So many red flags come out in the wedding planning process.
I see myself in June, since i set myself some boundaries... I always think in a way where I wouldn't do something to someone when I wouldn't want that person to do that something to me. On the other hand, I would support my best friend, no matter what... But I would talk with my boyfriend about it... Still, the attitude from her is a no-go as a friend soooo in this case it's a hell nahh
The last girl-i honestly don’t think she’s an a-hole. She reminds me of the reserved, introverted “mom” friend who wants to make sure everyone is alright. I honestly think she meant well, but it backfired because of her. I’m a lot like her so I see myself in her. If I was in the situation, I would have told my friend that i am going to sit this out and let her enjoy her bachelorette party OR I would have went just to show my face, leave early and send a text stating, “Hey, Your party is great. I’m tired, so I’m leaving earl. I had a great time at your party. Enjoy the rest of your night and have fun”. I mean, I can totally she where she meant well. You can even tell she meant well because she felt bad after the replies written back to her post.
I agree. Personally If I was her though I would have asked the bow out of that type of event. I dont drink and I have no way of filtering noise levels. bars and clubs just make me have headaches if i dont wear earplugs, I cant even handle restaurants with music half the time because what's the freakin point in going somewhere when I cant talk to anyone anyways. I end up just looking at people I am with and smiling and nodding because I have no idea what is being said. I would be an absolute wet blanket sitting in the corner somewhere, and I would have been up front and said that.
If you are really friends, then they understand you. I'm always the DD and make it my job to keep everyone together and safe. My friends totally get that and don't mind. Story: my BFF was invited to a three-way and was totally down for it. When she told me she was leaving with them, I shut that down hard. Told them she could call them some other time when she was sober. She came with me and would leave with me.
Good on June for standing her ground rather than getting roped into something uncomfortable. Hopefully her hubby cheered her up with a routine of his own :)
I feel SO bad for June. I'm a very sensitive, reserved person too and I COULD NOT imagine how brave she had to be to politely decline to something like that. She's such a good partner for declining and respecting their relationship boundaries.
The last one was a mix of over dramatic ("nonconsentual" drinks was an annoying word, but a lot of the time people buy a round, if you say no, they get butt hurt and will push you into it-seen it enough working at a bar, and dealt with it after shifts). Wanting to make sure the bride is OK is part of the bridal party's job. So I'd say it's 100% within her right to suggest a slow down and water, so she can continue partying without getting sicker. Yes, the party is about the bride, but the bridesmaids and MOH need to make sure she doesn't get alcohol poisoning before her big day...
I don't think people have a problem with someone encouraging people to drink water while on a night out. It's the whole tone and delivery, plus the fact that she tried to END the night out early, and the whole tone in her post seemed very obnoxious.
I agree- I think some of it was genuine concern which she should have as the wedding party. Some of it did seem weird too- it did kind of seem like she was trying to get people to leave before it was over but at the same time she says she just simply asked them if they were OK- so that one is tough to judge kind of. The non consensual shots is what got me lolol that’s a bit dramatic.
@@jazmynelizabeth4989I don't think so... I mean if her friend looked tired so she asked them if they are comfortable or want to leave. Its not really ending party Its making sure everyone is ok. I think her friends are bit immature.
I normally agree with you Charlotte, but I have to disagree with one part for the last story. Yes, she was dramatic in retelling (“non-consensual shots”???), but her last point about making sure everyone stays safe hits close to me. As an extremely empathetic person (fyi, I’m a guy and I don’t drink, but my friends tend to get extremely wasted), I tend to watch over my friends when we go to parties. I know some people like the idea of drinking till black out drunk and having hangovers the next day. But there are dangers with getting too wasted. You say everyone is an adult and to leave them alone, and I agree that they are adults. But just like I can’t simply sit back while watching someone get hurt, I get concerned when I see my friends go too crazy with alcohol. I nearly died from drinking too much and I was choking on my own vomit. Thank God my friends were there to save me. After that, I never drank again, and it’s been almost 10 years. People assume that there are no possible repercussions from drinking too much besides a hangover, but there are many. It’s important to drink safely, and if u decline my offer and want to get wasted anyways, that’s fine, I won’t stop you, but you best believe I won’t simply leave, because the chances of you hurting yourself are high.
I also tend to take care of people when they're drunk because I'll usually not drink or maybe have a single glass of something. One time I literally showed up to a club with condoms for one of my friend's friends (who I had only met like once or twice) because he drunkenly called me and told me he was gonna pick up girls that night. Now he didn't actually end up picking up any girls but when home at midnight to and I quote "watch the newest episode of Pokemon" which makes me laugh to this day but my point still stands. I also usually end up as the therapist once everyone else gets drunk.
Not to mention that the more drinks one gets the less they are capable of making the right decisions. Many don’t even realize they’ve had too much. My sister did the same at my bachelorette party and I definitely had too much. The moh had bought Me another drink anyway after my sister said i had had enough, and my sister took it away and we left. I’m actually thankful for that. I was suuuper sick the next day from all of that alcohol and that one drink could have made things much worse.
i completely agree. my mom always preached me, you never leave ANYONE in a state they really could hurt themselves or others. even worse get hurt by somebody. i once was on a night out with (now ex-) friends and drank to much, they "escorted" me to the busstop and just left me there. i luckily somehow got home safe and i can’t even imagine what horrible things could have happened. never talked to them again. especially since that day found better friends and always watch over them when we drink not only because i expect the same but also why would you let your friends get hurt? i hope this somehow makes sense
Tbh, that OP sounded like she has autism. She said she had social anxiety but to not be able to read the room, it’s possible she has autism and probably undiagnosed. Calling her the AH and cutting her down like this when she has already expressed that she was devastated by having her intentions misunderstood will cut much deeper than someone who is not neurospicy.
Between the "killjoy" who was clearly too afraid to stand out and tried to pressure everyone else to agree with her, and the other "friends" who gossiped behind her back instead confronting the "killjoy" directly, the people in the last story all sound like they're too young to be drinking. Seriously, everybody was operating under high-school logic.
While the "killjoy" definitely sounded like she could have worded her concern better, social anxiety shows up insidiously. For example, you're tired and uncomfortable and so you read others' fatigue as similar feelings, so you ask if they - like you secretly want to - would like to head home. That way you're giving others an "out" if they also want to go home. And because you can't voice your want to go home because of social pressure, social anxiety that makes you clam up under social pressure, you feel like you can't make your voice heard, so you go with the group for fear of ostracization. Shame her friends weren't more understanding of her condition.
@@dawnchesbro4189 Exactly. Depending on my mood, I either get drunk (not blackout, just a fun amount) or I don't drink and end up leaving early, so I understand both sides. I also have social anxiety, so I understand how OP is feeling. OP needs to dump those friends, they're extremely juvenile and, eventhough they say they're her friends, they refuse to accommodate for both her social anxiety and her preferences. It's not hard to go outside with your friend so she can have a little bit of peace and air when you go to a club. It's not hard to make your friend with social anxiety comfortable with speaking up, and if you see them uncomfortable, it also isn't hard to ask if they're good when you know they would stay quiet to avoid standing out. These are basic friendship things and, with the way those friends we're acting, specially the gossiping, they really feel like highschoolers. When I'm in the mood to drink, I'm always thankful for the friends checking up on me, I don't call them negative, and when I'm the sober one, my friends make me comfortable enough to wanna stay sober or leave early when I feel like it. If I had friends like these, we wouldn't be friends for long.
My friend had a bachelorette party with male strippers, SHE knew I would be uncomfortable with it, texted me “hey I’m having male str-ppers I know you’re not ok with that, but they’re leaving at 10pm and we will save the toast until you can arrive” I was happy she let me know and was wiling to make compromises for me and her so we both could be happy, she made it so the male strippers arrived early, so I wouldn’t have to leave early when I arrived, but didn’t feel like she couldn’t have her own perfect bachelorette party on my behalf, I’m so horrified by this person who expects everyone to be ok with nudity to that level I hate people like that so much especially how if I had a soulless friend like I would’ve lost a friend.
Both of the "bachelorette parties" I went to consisted of me and the bride (I was MOH for both) getting our hair and nails done for the wedding. Both times it was the bride's idea. Bachelorette parties do not have to be about getting disgustingly wasted and making people uncomfortable. They also don't have to be stupidly expensive and inconvenient for everyone.
Its like that with weddings too! Had a friend who got married at the Zoo, and her reception was a few days later at a park not far from her house. She and her husband are perfectly happy with it, and it cost as much as JUST hiring a wedding venue for a 'normal' wedding. Convention means nothing!
Exactly! Bridezillas and their victims/hostages/husbands often end up divorced not too long afterward, as we have seen in many videos. If someone acts like that at the wedding, chances are she is a b*tch in many aspects of her life...who would want to plan a life with this pain in the a*s...and all the stripper talk has me thinking of how would she be even making love, like "NO! I told you LAST time go to the left, NO, what is wrong with you, I told you 50X I am NOT putting that thing in my mouth...", you get the idea. Sounds very romantic! .🤣🤣🤣
Honestly I totally understand the “negative” bridesmaid. I think it would’ve been best for her not to go to the bachelorette party bc it’s clear that this type of party isn’t one that she can enjoy without becoming concerned about various things she perceives as safety or well-being issues. I know that if I were to go to a party like this, I would only be concerned about my friends drinking enough water or not taking drinks from random guys or not getting lost, etc, bc I have a lot of anxiety and those types of parties are not fun to me at all and neither is getting trashed or watching my friends get trashed. It’s extremely anxiety-inducing, which is why I don’t go to parties like this. I really do think that OP just didn’t know that everything was “normal” because she’s stated that she doesn’t drink publicly, and she thought she was helping people prolong their enjoyment by trying to minimize “painful” or “unenjoyable” things like tiredness, soreness, hangovers, and vomiting. All of those things negate any enjoyment I personally get out of parties and I honestly have a very hard time understanding how people can have fun right after they’ve thrown up, but again, that’s why I don’t attend events like this, and why OP shouldn’t have attended this one.
I agree, some of us mature faster, mentally and heck, physically. Plus, I was roofied at 18, so I would be worried. The age for drinking then was 18 in New York, and we got into bars, and most clubs, at 15, 16-my first bar experience was at 15 at a college dive bar by Brooklyn College, and my GFs and I were prime meat when I hadn't even kissed a boy yet (I made up for lost time after I started working on Wall St-f-in INSANE in the 80s, just like you see in movies, free coke they gave the brokers and even us "reg folks", so we worked harder, faster and stayed longer) Obviously, this WAS a long time ago, when dinosaurs roamed the streets of Manhattan, and sometimes sank the Staten Island Ferry after eating all the Staten Islanders.
Good on you for understanding that your “normal” isn’t everyone’s “normal” and not attending events that make you uncomfortable, rather than attending and trying to impose your standard on other people. 👍
I agree. I really hoped people left the “getting pissed is the only way to have fun” attitude in high school but i guess not. What’s the point of fun you can’t remember? It’s really sad that having fun somehow assumes getting shitfaced from alcohol.
@@matematicarka I think a bachelor/bachelorette party is often viewed as a send off to an old way of life, hence why people party like they’re teenagers again.
@@ms.annthropic6341 I guess, IDK, I don’t like being drunk so I try to stay hydrated and well fed if I am going to consume anything with alcohol. But I’m more fun sobber, when I’m tipsy I start talking to people about maths or some fantasy story, which most people don’t find as fun as I do 😆
Why does the bride think that June should check with her husband before giving a definitive no? June is a grown-a$$ed woman who doesn't need anybody's "okay" before stating her position based on her morals.
1:31 Kudos to June. Utmost respect. Real friends should understand that someone is uncomfortable in these surroundings, that she is loyal to her husband and wants to respect his feelings. I sincerely hope for June that her husband does the same.
I've never understood the concept of the bachelor/bachelorette parties. If you are so fond of partying, and you apparently will miss them so much that you need to throw one last "wildest ever" party in which you could potentially end up being unfaithful to your future spouse, maybe you shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
The str!pper one when Charlotte read the edit I got stuck on "her husband called me and said some really rude things." Frankly, what husband WOULDN'T call the person harassing his wife?? That's not rude, that's just him being protective/supportive and he has a right to be angry for her.
My ex-H, a great guy, has done that. I was an animal rescuer working a LOT at the shelter AND fostering, working with someone named Karen who couldn't say no to dogs from gassing shelter stated (south, like Georgia), where I kept taking animals from her filthy cottage since I had the big, clean house with no human kids, big yard, etc. She bravely helped me rescue Lucy, the Yellow Lab/Pit in my photo, about-to-be a bait dog. I was in the hospital after a seizure, and she called complaining that because I was not helping her, a dog died, hit by a car BC she had too many to care for. He got on the phone at the hospital and said don't call again. She did, he changed the tel #. She was eventually arrested for hoarding and it was all over our news, with her coming out in handcuffs.The other dog, Monkey, was on the front page of the newspaper, but he looked wacko so we decided to take him since he needed us. Sure enough, Mental Monkey had a LOT of issues due to witnessing the gassing (I couldn't use my oven when we had stainless steel appliances put in)...then he gets shlepped up her to her feces-ridden house, where who knows what happened to a mentally fragile dog. Karen DID mean well BUT she had too many issues, so my then-H reminded me do NOT give her your tel #.
I don't get the brides that want to go ham at their bachelorette. I did an escape room, a quiet gin tasting, a lavish dinner, then we drank tea and chatted in our pj's late into the night. I wanted to see my friends that had traveled
I don’t either. I had sandwiches at my maid of honour’s apartment which was nice. Then she made us go out (it was cold! I wasn’t dressed for it) and bar hop/search for her boyfriend. She made me a shirt with candies on it and it was a game called buck or suck (where strangers were to bite them off my shirt. Ew!). One guy did it then the next one, drunk, told me I’d regret it the next morning if I continued. So that was cue to stop. Embarrassing. Oh and I was a few months pregnant. I didn’t want any of that. It’s not my thing. I’m still pissed all these years later. I want a redo where I just chill like you did. And I’m not into strippers. I don’t understand the appeal.
@@Mama_Bear524 ewe!!! What?! That’s so crazy!! I think you should do a re do!! I told my sister exactly what I wanted and that’s what I got! Everyone came to my house and hung out for a while, and I wanted to do karaoke so we went to a Chinese restaurant that had karaoke!! I loved it !
That makes a lot more sense and sounds like a lot more fun, then again I'm not a drinker, if I went to a bar it's only to dance. No dancing, I'll suffer through in support of my friend drinking my virgin strawberry daiquiris. If they don't have those, leaving is the other option lol
okay.. the last story.. I actually see their point, as someone who has always been the “mom” of the group, I can see why they were so concerned. Sure it’s a time to have fun, but being concerned for your friends isn’t a bad thing… Ive always been there to care for my friends, warn them if they’re doing something that could harm them, or being there for them. Unless, the person was intentionally trying to end it bc of their problems (which honestly, why didn’t they ask first and then see if they would attend or not? I have social anxiety and my first thought is “where are we going?” to see if I’d be able to handle it) then yeah they are the AH. I can see both sides but if they were just concerned for their friends and everyone thought of them as being “lame” and “boring” or whatever, then I hope they get better friends. However if they were forcing things upon everyone else, then yeah, they are the AH.
Too many drunk driving incidents. To be honest OP was not the A hole here. She was protecting everyone else from get seriously hurt or even dead. OP deserves better friends who actually care about their well being as well as their friends'
The irony of the "nonconsensual drinks" situation is that is the end result of the "you must attend my stripper party" situation. Even if you do force this girl to go, she is going to be uncomfortable and she's going, by default, bring the mood down. I bet that "nonconsensual drinks" girl had been badgered into attending that party and then everyone else has the audacity to be *shocked* that she was uncomfortable and wanted to go home. Obviously, invite everyone you want but sometimes people know that they will bring the mood down just by being uncomfortable and will need to opt out to protect your "special day".
I think she was kinda a kill joy,but at the same someone taking on the responsible role and making sure their friends get water and looked after when sick or hungover seems like kinda a positive? And a good way to have someone lookin out instead of getting wasted to keep you from getting roofied or something
There’s a big difference though in attending bc you were invited/begged to (even “badgered into it”) and then saying you alone have to leave early and doing what that girl did trying to pressure others into leaving early so she felt it was acceptable if she did. If she wanted to go home, she should have, she’s an adult and could have left on her own. Edited to add: read further, I hadn’t remembered her saying she had social anxiety which changes things some, though mostly that it reinforces my opinion that she and the bride at least should have communicated better. And that icymi I agree 100% the other girls shouldn’t have been catty regardless if they knew about this girl. Remember that some of them likely didn’t know her personally bc they were friends of the bride and not everyone else-even more reason to be understanding of people u don’t know if u can’t be understanding of a friend.
I don't drink, but I have no problem with others around me drinking and non-consensual? sorry that was just hilarious. If I wanted to go home that bad, I just would've excused myself not tried to talk others to do the same. However, as a responsible friend, I won't stop them from drinking, but I'd take away their car keys.
That doesn’t surprise me in the least. I was planning a bachelorette party and we were gonna take the bride to a drag show but ultimately decided not to after the behavior of several guests in past at an all male review. I was mortified enough to be at that show, I ONLY went to be supportive, and then a few “ladies” were out right grabbing these men. I felt so gross seeing it. They were like animals.
Interrupting a show is rude. Getting handsy crosses the line. Look but don't touch. Goes for men at strip clubs as well. You can window shop, but putting your hands on the merchandise is off limits.
I don't think that last person was trying to get everyone to leave the party early. OP saw some of her friends looking a little tired and asked them if they wanted either split off from the party to recover from any alcohol they had, or, as it said IN THE POST, move the party to someone's house since it would likely be a more comfortable environment than loud bars. She wasn't trying to end the party, she was trying to make sure her friends were okay. Either Girl A was being intentionally antagonistic or she misread/misspoke about the situation.
Given everything else included though it really sounded to me like the person wanted other people to leave so she wouldn’t be the only one cutting out early and it’d be more “acceptable” for her to go. It’s one thing saying you have to leave early and another asking multiple others if they wanted to go. She needed to worry about herself given she doesn’t go out and “party hard” with these girls, if they are used to that then they know what they can handle without her since she isn’t often there.
@@owatagusiam44 so she should have just not given a crap about her friends and let them attempt getting alcohol poisoning. Good to know you don't care about the health of your friends. fun is more important right. All she did was ask if her friends were ok and if they needed to leave. She wasn't asking so she could leave. And if she did leave early, then everyone of her "friends" would still be gossiping about how much of a fuddy duddy she is. These are no friends of hers. These are girls who are still stuck in their high school mentality. They peaked in high school.
@@owatagusiam44 I disagree, to me it read like she was genuinely concerned about the comfort of everyone involved and wanted to ensure that everyone had a good time, but that she didn’t understand that even if they were tired, they were still having a good time. Some people (myself included-I’m autistic) are extra sensitive to particular feelings like tiredness, soreness, nausea, and those feelings will supersede any “fun” that is being had, and it’s hard to understand that not everyone operates that way. If I saw that my friends were looking tired at an event, I would 100% check in on them and ask how to accommodate or remedy their exhaustion because in my brain, remedying that means increasing enjoyment, while remaining in that exhaustion means having no enjoyment. I’m not saying OP is neurodivergent (tho as a neurodivergent person, I relate to and understand a LOT of what she was saying and how she was saying it) but I do believe she had good intentions.
@@beccafreeman4694 I didn’t say that at all. You should take a step back and try to look at this objectively instead of emotionally. I am actually the “mom” friend when I go out drinking with mine, I do take care of them not that I should have to defend myself to a stranger. Quite frankly though we don’t have enough information to know if that’s “all she did”. Someone on another thread reminded me she said she has social anxiety which definitely makes a difference, but mostly that there needed to be better communication between her and the bride so that there could be boundaries set. She should have been comfortable leaving early without guilt (which it definitely sounds like is what she wanted imo which is totally fine-she said it wasn’t her thing). She should have been comfortable declining a drink offer. And she also should have been given the boundary that they will be safe. If they are used to this and she isn’t, there is a good chance she is interpreting the amount they are drinking as too much for her and therefore too much for them and given they likely have a much higher tolerance that probably isn’t the case. We don’t have enough information imo to be good judges of this. However, I totally agree with you that the gossiping, catty girls are stuck in a high school mentality. They are the real AH’s bc it should have just been a fun and stress free night for the bride and not a drama fest.
I had my Bachelorette party at a drag show. It was only 3 of us (other guests refused because they "didn't do drag shows)." We had a great time. I was never pulled on stage or anything crazy like that, but many of the performers signed my "advice for the bride" shirt. I loved that I was able to relax, drink and be low key
If Lucy is so hung up on having a trip with all her friends there, maybe she could pay for the entire trip to thank them for dealing with her demands during the wedding and remaining her friends.
I honestly think the last one was a misunderstanding and the situation was handled poorly. A person with social anxiety and the situation she described, would definitely see everything in a completely different way than the rest of the girls saw it. Everyone thinks she's the a-hole, but I totally understand where she's coming from. I don't drink at all and vomiting is one of my phobias and seeing other people doing it is like the worst thing ever, I know it's not the same for this girl, but I get that seeing her friends sick was something she was worried about, and she was thinking that they wouldn't be able to enjoy other activities the next day. She didn't understand that for her friends, being completely trashed was the whole point, because she doesn't like to feel that way and her friends didn't understand that she's not a party girl. Instead of making this clear to each other, she tried to help, but it came out like she wanted to be their mom or something. And then thinking that she was being considerate by letting them rest the next day (I would have done the same) she was accused of avoiding them. Like I said, miscommunication was the problem there, I don't think she was the a-hole.
I agree. I'm not socially anxious and I do drink, but I don't like the feeling of being drunk and pace my drinking. I also worry like her about people's safety because I've been that less drunk friend watching my drunker friends run into fucking roads and shit because that's suddenly hilarious. Your comment is spot on, they are people who just have completely different viewpoints and it's clearly hard to see each others perspectives. The gossiping was do unnecessary though, those other bridesmaids could have told her directly and no bitch to the bride like they're teenagers...
I very much agree. I'm a complete non-drinker with social anxieties included and I also totally understand where she was coming from. What I am more concerned about is that her friends clearly should have also known this girl and at the very least understand her intentions were not bad. Why are they instead acting like a bunch of high school drama queens about it? Why did they turn it into something that completely 'ruined the night'? It just kind of seems like these people a) are not very mature, or b) don't really have that much of a close connection.
@@indigoeye3874 that's the impression I got too. For example, my friends know that I don't like crowded places and I don't drink, so even when there's alcohol at a certain event, they drink in moderation and we go to places with a few people or do activities that don't necessarily involve crowds. They also have their parties where they drink like there's no tomorrow, but they don't even invite me because they already know that I'm not going and we're all happy with that arrangement. That's why I found it really mean to talk shit behind her back with the bride.
Agreed, and I’m so glad I’m not alone in this bc when Charlotte said she was the AH I was really confused and was wondering if my perspective was an outlier, but it seems like most people in the comments don’t think she’s the AH
True, even if the event is all about the OP doesn't give her the privilege to go overboard with someones beliefs. Actually June gave a win-win strategy, but still because of OPs entitled mentatlity did not even consider that. I am just sad with these kind of people.
Yeah I’m not even gonna disrespect my fiancé by asking him if he’s comfortable with it because I know he’s not and I know that I’m not comfortable with it so that’s really all that matters. Some peoples relationships are a little bit more open and modern and some peoples relationships are a little bit more private or traditional. As long as we all have long happy marriages!
Do unto others as you would them unto you. I think June was clear and sensible... she didn't want to do something she knew she wouldn't want her husband doing. I think the bride is silly to lose a good friend like June who could've lied & said she couldn't go, instead she not only gave her an honest explanation but she offered to go AFTER the whole stripper thing.
My sister has taught me to learn how to take "No" for an answer. It wasn't easy at first because I wanted to go do fun stuff with her. I later realized she is an introvert, and I am an ambivert more towards the extrovert tendency. We have agreed that if I ever invite her someplace I will only ask once, and it is to extend a courtesy to her so she knows she is being invited. There have been a few times she asked me why I don't do fun stuff with her, and I have to remind her that I try to include her, but she doesn't ever want to go anywhere when I invite her. How does my experience relate to this? The Bride should have been respectful of June's wishes, and go have a good time! June said she would have showed up after the "entertainment " left.
I don't understand how bridezillas can demand that their wedding party must throw away their values for their wedding. Modest women are expected to wear revealing dresses, non drinkers (sober) people are expected to partake and married women are expected to have men grind on them. Yes, it is your wedding event but this is who I am as a person always. Accept me ....or dont. Dont shame me into getting your way with, I am a bad friend garbage. I wish you and your spouse all the best. I.am glad it is not me.
No "real friend" would ask me to disqualify who I Am for any event. Big difference between "friend" and "friendly acquaintance". There are always plenty of acquaintances-- those who don't know you on a deeper level- who could ask for these things. You have to decide your worth as well as the value of the relationship. Real friends can and do 'relate' clearly with one another. So determine that first- so no hurt feelings- well, Fewer hurt feelings anyway.
Personally, I don’t have a problem with saying no to any situation I’m not comfortable with. I just don’t. But I don’t interfere with other’s decisions either. If everyone else got s***faced, and I didn’t, I’d just leave early. Because, as you know, it’s not much fun being around drunk people if you are not also drunk! They’re adults, they are responsible for themselves.
Not everyone thinks that "the point of a bachelorette party" is to get trashed. I grew up in an alcoholic home. I don't drink. I get very uncomfortable around people who drink to excess.
My bachelorette party involved myself, two bridesmaids and a trip to the Ben & Jerry's Factory, with a swing by the Trapp Family Lodge for a couple of drinks at their bar. It was exactly what I wanted and it was a perfect day. My husband's bachelor party? A trip to a pinball/video game restaurant/pub with his friends where they played Goldeneye on the vintage game tv they had set up. Not everyone wants a huge bash with strippers and whatnot. I get the idea is "last night of freedom!" but that is so antiquated. We saw it as a way to celebrate with our friends before the big day, when we would be too busy to have any quality time with people.
For the last one, I agree she was being kinda dramatic but I also kinda empathize with her. I’m wondering why there was no prior discussion to what the party would be like and if she was up to it so that both she and the bride could decide if she wanted to be there. Like instead of forcing your friend who has no party-stamina to come along and risk ruining the night, just let her stay home and join you guys for breakfast. I also thought them gossiping about her was kinda Mean Girl-y. They’re adults. They could have told her to her face so she knew she wasn’t doing well.
Yeah, not a lot of sympathy for the bride. If she was really friends with the OP, she should've know they had social anxiety and didn't drink that much; why invite them? Especially if she's oversensitive enough that one person not being drunk enough would ruin her whole weekend.
100 agree with this Rather than understanding they're not the type to enjoy this or checking in with eachother, they ignored her and almost singled her out, as if they kind of didnt like her from the beginning. No good frienshio would have such assumptions and shit communication. Reminds me of friendships the bullies formed when I used to go to school, they all only cared for themselves and their own fun and if one person had more issues or introverted, they were already disliked and criticised from the get go. If I'm hosting something, I wanna make sure everyones OK even if they seem like a killjoy. Especially so. Because it means somethings up or there's a misunderstanding, or if they don't wanna be there I'll give them the out to go home. If I want it to go well, I'll have to make sure it does so, because everyone I would invite are my friends and I understand they all have different personalities, likes, dislikes and needs. It makes me grateful to have the friends I've had since high-school. My two best friends are so considerate of me and my fatigue and pain issues, weve worked on making sure we understand eachother and if someone didnt have a great time, well so be it, talk about it, make sure u understand eachother and then move on. Like literally easy as asking them "you OK?" When u get the chance Fr
It's especially mean to send a message AFTER the party. What could she do. Apologize and feel bad? What is the bride? 12? Whether say it to her face at the party or get over it. Plus if she was a nice friend she should have asked her if she wanted to leave and tell her it was okay.
I agree with most of the points except about water. It is important to drink that water. It gives you a bit of a break and allows for the party to last longer. Nothing wrong with taking a water break between drinks. Now, whether they accepted the suggestion is on them but it doesn't hurt to encourage a break to take stock and get that second wind.
I never understood the idea of the raunchy drunken Bachelorette party. My husband and I had a joint party the night before our wedding. All our young wedding guests and bridal party came over and we had a great game night with everyone. So much fun, an amazing memory of getting to hang out with everyone before our big day.
Ours was on the same night but not a joint party. We rented a pool and had pizza and old 80s movies, him and his group went bowling and played pool for hours. Fun was had by all. It cost very little and no one had a terrible time.
I dont understand it either, but I think its because I dont find being shitfaced fun. I'd rather remember my night, but there are definitely ppl that enjoy drinking and being drunk. I'm just not one of those ppl.
as a vintage woman, I can't help but notice how insane weddings have become. in my day no parties were expected, just appreciated if they happened. a bridal shower was given by friends usually and still greatly appreciated instead of expected. for working families, it was common to have the shower in someone's living room. the expense and planning of weddings have just grown & grown over the years. bachelorette parties weren't even a thing for many years yet that one gal wants two??? so many rules and regulations! just have a girl's night out, geez. it's weird to me to start a marriage with a giant price tag and out of their mind brides. I'd rather use the $$$ on a down payment to a house instead of being a star for the day, that's hardly what marriage is about. I get wanting it pretty and all but it can be done w/o alienating everyone around you. ☮️
I am totally in love with the phrase "vintage woman ", and Bachelorette parties are supposed to be a reflection of the relationship between the bridal party. The best one I ever went to was a lovely meal followed by a monopoly tournament with spa treatments.
I would be mortified to act so spoiled and entitled....these are the girls who screamed and cried and got what they wanted from their parents/grandparents their whole life, and now they think that's how they treat people to get what they want....if I'd acted like that as a kid OR adult, my family would've put me in my place real quick....SPOILED isn't a compliment, people....
@@thetanvan5833 i have noticed how the definition of spoiled has morphed...it used to be an insult but now people are actually proud of the label. of all the things i considered would change in my lifetime I never expected this kind ...like "alternative facts" - that one was a hoot!
@@lindaward3156 yes! These days if someone is speaking truth, they're treated like they're crazy......I'm glad I wasn't raised to be greedy or money focused (and I wasn't raised by ozzy and Harriet, believe me).....still, this sort of behavior is embarrassing to watch......
My husband and I actually had a combined bachelor's/bachelorettes party and we all went lazer-tagging. Was a blast and completely appropriate- no nudity needed! Not all parties before a wedding need to involve strippers and heavy drinking
I did 2 hen parties. One for the party animals, a pub crawl to the local night club. And the other was a meal in a restaurant for the ones who wanted chill and chat! 💚👍
@12:50 being introverted I would appreciate this. Knowing some is concerned about how everyone is feeling and has your back can make a world of difference. That friend is a good friend to have and clearly the bride doesn't understand them. It seems like maybe they weren't a good pick and that is on the bride. If you want a team of people who enjoy partying hard, pick those sort of people to be in the crew. If the wedding was the next day, making sure everyone stays well is important. Imagine how the bride would react if everyone looked bad in photos. I don't see her taking it well if showing concern over peoples well being was a problem.
I normally agree with you but the girl who was asking if anyone else wanted to go home that's absolutely okay. If some people seem off or sick or want to leave, it's okay to ask if they want to go home. Also getting trashed isn't the only objective for a bachelorette party. Those are my only two things.
I agree, too. As someone who has had to play mom/bodyguard to very drunk/sick friends and help them get out of bars safely without ending up in some stranger's car, I can sympathize with that person. It didn't sound like she was trying to ruin the night. If anything, with all the tattling/gossiping going on, she may need better friends.
Didn't the last girl mean she didn't want the shot but was forced to drink it even though it always made her sick and the other person was forced to drink it even though she did not have the capacity to say no to anything at that point? I think she meant compulsory shot instead of non consenting shot.
I think it was more that the person buying the round of shots didn't ask OP if she wanted one, didn't ask what type of shot she wanted (and as a result picked something that would make her sick), and from the sound of it was insistent that everyone take said shot. The other girl was in a state of inebriation that had her looking nauseous and like she might be well over the "safe" threshold of drunk, but when the OP had tried asking the other girls who looked exhausted/drunk to the point of sick/etc. if they maybe wanted to hang it up and do something a little less crazy, they all shot her down and continued getting plastered. I think "Non-consensual" isn't actually that far off a term here: nobody asked for the round of shots, OP didn't want one at all, particularly not the one she was given, "Girl B" wasn't in a good place to be having more alcohol and--judging by a general description of things--the whole group was drunk _well_ past the point where they could be considered as being in a mental state to consent to anything...on the one hand, it _was_ clearly compulsory, given that OP said she "shot it anyway", but it was also without her consent, and in a group who were in no fit mental state to be making such decisions. I honestly wonder at the fact that the bartender kept serving this group. Usually, bartenders have a point where they start cutting people off, and it sounds like the rest of this party was well past the point where they should've been cut off, if not kicked out.
My friends and I did a 90’s themed old-fashioned sleepover for my bachelorette and it was AWESOME. We stayed up late, watched scary movies, drank some wine coolers, danced around to Britney Spears, and slept in sleeping bags. I got to re-live my childhood rather than party years, which was way more important to me and a blast. I honestly recommend this to anyone.
As someone who loves to read--but also struggles with following along throughout longer pieces of text--I appreciate the highlight animation, Charlotte. Thank you 💛
I find these hilarious. When my husband and I got married, we didn't even have a wedding party. No bridal shower. No bachelor or bachelorette party. We wanted our day to be about us, but simple and laid back. My parents graciously offered to pay for my dress, which cost $100, and I was over the moon with it. We got married at a park. It was lovely and had a party afterwards. Best day ever and even better, no debt.
Got married by a judge on my husband's lunch hour. He wore his white drywall hangers clothes..I wore black leather jacket n black jeans. Later that evening we put away a couple hundred bales of hay. A friend stopped with a joint and he stayed til the last bale went into the barn. Thirty years later we're here. No fancy crap needed. ...just an " I love you" every day is good enough.❤️
We only had one attendant each as well so instead of bachelorette and bachelor parties we had one Jack and Jill party with all of our friends. It gave our out of town friends and our local friends a chance to meet. It was a low key and a really fun way to spend the evening after the rehearsal dinner with our families.
This is my dream wedding! I loathe being the center of attention. And I refuse to spend 50k on one day and one dress and so on. Give me my loved ones a beautiful day good food and drinks and let's have fun!
Being a medical provider, nothing is quite as sobering during a party as having to ensure someone is okay when they pass out drunk. I've had more than a few instances when I was enjoying myself (drunk or very very buzzed) alone or with my buddies, and something happens and I have to sober up in an instant to help someone, including: 1) Drunk young man with keys heading to his car; 2) Two girls (different occasions) passed out due to alcohol poisoning in a bar bathroom; 3) getting rid of a "handsy" man trying to take advantage of a very drunk girl who was NOT his GF, 4) threatening to beat a guy who shoulder blocked 2 girls dancing in an out of the way corner of the dance floor; 5) Taking care of a concussion and head wound after an individual fell off the barstool. I now just don't bother drinking in public, and offer myself as the DD instead. I'd rather just have a good time sober, than begin to have a great time and then get a buzz kill before the end of the night...and staying sober at least saves me some money 🤔
Look I'm no prude but personally I feel like having strippers at your bachelor/bachelorette party is borderline cheating if you're monogamous. I mean under regular circumstances, if I walked in and my boyfriend was getting a lap dance from a half naked woman, I'd end it on the spot. I also doubt he'd be happy if a half naked man was grinding on me. I truly don't understand how that behavior is considered normal right before you get married.
Supposed to be your last opportunity to cut loose before "the ball & chain". However the whole concept is dated as F..... most brides & grooms are hardly virginal and don't need to sow wild oats as they've probably been doing it already !
“Goody two shoes” isn’t an “attitude”, it’s a moral compass, and pushing someone to live outside of their own personal morals is horrible, not a good friend, and a huge red flag. Recognize we all have different morals, and disrespecting someone else’s and forcing your own on them is ignorant.
See, the thing is, I'm absolutely the killjoy. Anyone that is friends with me knows this and I'm very open about what I should and should not participate in. Do not invite me to a club. Do not invite me to a bachelorette party. Do not invite me to a strip club. IF I were at this party, which I wouldn't be because my friends would be kind enough to say "we know you don't want to come, no pressure to say no" I *would* be checking in with anyone that is unwell, or hanging with them if they wanted that. I *would* be saying no to any and all alcohol (a true friend would not offer it to me anyway), but I WOULD NOT be policing what others do as long as they were ultimately safe. Walking someone home, making sure they got back to their room, making sure they didn't fall or get taken advantage of by someone, etc. If you are a consenting adult it's absolutely not my place to enforce my own personal issues onto you and your fun time. I, and my husband, are*awful* at weddings, parties, anything where it's loud and people are drinking. When we attend, we leave early once the drinking starts if we can. Real friends know this will happen and no feelings get hurt. "Support" does not come from ruining someone's good time with your own issues. If you cannot "keep up" with the activities for whatever reason, excuse yourself, and plan an activity you can all enjoy together because if you're already friends you already have *something* in common to share.
Ugh, the one with the bride getting mad at "June" for not wanting to come to a strip club for the bachelorette is TA. If you're not the type of person who likes those things (or is repulsed by them like me) it's not a good time. It's great that June is so respectful of her husband! The bride does not need to be "supported" at a freaking strip club. She even offered to come enjoy the rest of the evening after the club event, which is perfectly diplomatic. Then the bride posts this on the internet with her feelings openly displayed and is soooo annoyed when June finds out about the post and is upset. I mean wha?
I may have been wild when single but once I commit to a man, I can't imagine going to a strip club. Also, I don't want to open THAT can of worms, where technically he SB allowed to go to a strip club, and we know how bad they try to get the guys to do stuff with them. NO strip clubs for anyone! If you want to go, then we are on a break, Ross', not Rachel's, definition of a break (from Friends if ppl DK that show-SHE said she wanted a break, meaning, some time apart, but he got very drunk and did the "hot girl in the copy place" all the guys lusted after, , and got caught by her.)
So gonna give my two cents in on the last story, I both agree and disagree. Yes she was the A-hole for projecting her feelings on the other girls, but her not being able to drink a specific drink cause it makes her sick is kinda a valid concern. Also, a bunch of drunk girls at a bar spells trouble for alot of things. Though that could just be because me as some who has been through shit and pestered by my BFF to do things outside of my comfort zone could have me looking at it different. Also I get the idea of someone telling you to drink water comes off as bad, but again my head tends to go to worst case scenario and I would rather be sober in areas like bars and clubs and not shitfaced drunk. or at least have more then just one sober friend at the party. Again though that could just be becuase I look at it as worst case scenario and I want everyone to be safe.
@@dakotakulha8376 Yeah not what I'm saying. In my original comment I even point this out that her trying to look out for them and help them sober them up isn't wrong for her to do. I am usually the sober person with my best friend too, I don't care for alcohol like she does. So I do sympathize with op on that. However, it is her attitude and the way she talks about her supposed friends that shows her as an Asshole. Lets actually go over some of what she did, Op tried shutting down someone else's party early, excused it as "gauging interest", got annoyed and rude when one of the bride's friends bought shots for everyone (something she could have absolutely turned down), and the last part where she was telling the bride to drink water. The way she also typed the list and her justification also shows her attitude to this whole event. She was arrogant, and gave a patronizing air to her. She was absolutely projecting her feelings on the other bridesmaids.
@@kcm7813 I see your point but she has validity to do that. We as a human species lost too many people due to alcohol influenced drivers or alcohol in general. She was doing what was best for everyone and that's to leave. Those girls were intoxicated and we all know that dangerous men lurk around in bars and such waiting to take advantage women who are incapable of consent to sexual activity. Can't be too careful nowadays
@dakotakulha8376 Again. I have pointed that out in my previous comment. But you also seem to only be hung up on the alcohol aspect of this. Again though she had the best of intentions. Op's attitude she's why she's the asshole as it's not her place to stop a party that is 1. Not her party, 2. She's not hosting, 3. Not for her, 4. To determine the feelings of someone else (effectively infantilizing her friend), 5. Talking down to her said friends. I agree that alcohol has hurt many people, however we also don't know how drunk these girls actually were. And judging by how op sees things and says things, how are we to know that op is even a reliable narrator. Especially when she calls shots bought by a friend, unconsensual. The question was also not if she was the ah for not liking alcohol and wanting her friends to sober up, the question was if she was the ah for being negative at a bachelorette party, which seeing her explanations she was. Again if it was just about wanting to sober up for their safety that would be very very different but it's not. In the end of all of this, I disagree with what Op did, not her intentions. Because there are better ways to bring these issues up with your friends, not just demeaning them and acting like she knows better then them.
@@kcm7813 To be honest, I see it from the perspective of the aftermath. If bride to be dies how will that make groom to be feel. OP's actions were based on safety and protection. I would rather have a friend like that than someone who doesn't do that and I end up dead on the side of the road. Just because it's a bachelorette party doesn't mean safety and well being goes out the window
Am I the only one who believes that us brides should be super thankful and like hella appreciative for everything our bridal party does to help make OUR day as special as it can be?? I really wanted to spoil them with a spa wknd over a bachelorette party because I have no desire to be with another man besides my husband nor do I have a need to have "one last hoopla" where I'm so drunk I inevitably make at least one bad decision I regret haha I've never understood Bridezillas tho because yeah for me I'm just so thankful that my friends came tgthr and did everything they could to make it the most memorable night of my life ❤
Before the planning began for her bachelorette, my sister in law specifically told her sister (maid of honour) that she didn't want ANYTHING phallic or remotely 'sexual' during the event, as she was not comfortable with it and felt it was tacky. We had a weekend at the beach, a fancy lunch, a cider tasting, and played silly non-sexual bachelorette party games (like a bridal dress making challenge using toilet paper, etc.) it was so much fun. No one got wasted or caused any issues, and everyone remembered it the next day because no one got blackout drunk. You really don't need strippers and crazy amouts of alcohol to have fun, (but if that's your jam then go for it, you do you.) 🙂
What if June has had something traumatic happen in her past? She could be an abuse survivor. It's understandable if she'd want to keep that private. She doesn't owe any more explanation than she already gave. Also, it's nice that she doesn't want to be hypocritical in her marriage. That mutual respect June has with her husband sounds like something bridezilla could take a few notes from.
Charlotte: You get ONE day - the wedding. Also Charlotte: This would NEVER fly at my bachelorette party. If the bride wants to throw up all over you, you sit there and take it. 😂🤣
me and my friends stayed in cos I'm boring as hell. it was like any other night. take out, movies and really big joints for me. I was happy as a pig in shit
Right? i hung out with some family, my best friend, and my then fiance. Neither of us wanted anything more lavish or crazy. We ate, watched movies, and had a couple drinks. Got up the next morning and got married at the local courthouse with a small, intimate reception after. People are so crazy!
I got married 20 years ago. We got married in the temple. (Free) We had the reception at my uncle's house (Also free, happens he had a mansion). My baby sister did my makeup. My mom and aunt made the food, served on china gifted to me after. My mom and aunt made my lovely bouquet. I had no official bridesmaids or a maid of honor. The total cost, including rings, food, cakes, bouquet, and my dress was $2,000. It was just family. We are still married now. My talented dad was the photographer. I never thought of "my day" or even thought of having a bachelorette party. My bridal shower was with friends and family at a friend's house. The day was about getting married, having fun, and celebrating with our families. I just remember being so grateful to everyone who pitched in and came.
Charlotte: "You get one day. ONE DAY." Also Charlotte: "If the bride wants to get wasted and projectile vomit on all of you (on not her one day) then you all have to take it." LMAO
You know what she meant come on.. you get ONE day to be all about you and ask certain things of your friends.. but if your friends happily throw you a bachelorette party, that's not an ask.. and if she wants to get drunk out of her mind, that's not an ask either, it's her choice, her body etc..
for the last story, I'm totally OP in that I would be asking others how they're doing and if they want to go back to the hotel. Not because it's necessarily how I'm feeling but because I genuinely don't want others to end up regretting things the next morning because I also know that I will be the first to say I told you so when you're fucked up the following more. So yeah...don't invite me to your bachelorette party if it's going to be a drinking free for all.
So that last one kind of hurts me. I am autistic and have health issues that would not allow me to drink very much. So bad at reading social situations and can't really get trashed unless I want to be sick for the next three days. Someone with severe social anxiety would also be bad at reading social situations (because they're not in them often). Bride, if they're a good friend, should know these things about you already and given you the option to leave early without consequences or warned everyone else that you're not great at social interaction so if you seem like you're being a downer, you're really just trying to express concern in an awkward way. The buying of shots for everyone would also freak me out - I don't want someone to waste money on something that I can't drink and I would panic about making them feel bad or making them angry by refusing. OP stepped out of their comfort zone to try and be there for the bride likely because the bride wanted her there, regardless of OPs health issues or social anxiety. Again, if bride was a good friend, they shouldn't have been sulky and accusatory at someone who they likely knew would not be having fun.
I feel you. I'm not diagnosed (48, female, so duh) but I started studying autism a year and a half ago. My immediate thought was autism or social anxiety. It's too easy to push socially awkward people into situations that aren't right for them. The "I thought I did a good job, but..." hit a painful nerve. And then all those YTA comments on top of that.... It sucks that so many people don't understand each other. I love people and fear them. Always have, always will.
I guess I'm just old, but back in the day the bride had a shower, which was a really nice afternoon tea, where often cute games were played (like the old Tupperware games)and the bride put all the bows from the gifts onto her head (or made a hat out of them?). It was a pleasant event with the bride receiving a ton of napkins, tea towels and kitchen utensils! :)
I had a great bachelorette, for very little money. And we did a big party, basically every woman 21-45 who was invited to the wedding was invited out. We played some silly games & my friend wisely booked a room that came free if most of you ordered dinner, which was an inexpensive & legendary buffet. We had to walk about 15 mins more than I had hoped, but my friends saved big time on no rental fee & then we just bar hopped! We didn’t do any of the “sexy” stuff other than some raunchy gifts and no one got blackout drunk or ruined a relationship. Tbh we ate a lot of fried chicken at dinner lol, and couldn’t rage too long. Perfect night out with my girls, plus a little interlude where we met up with the guys, and canoodled while talking about how awesome our friends were, so I was shocked when 5 years later the whole thing started becoming “bride insists on a super expensive fantasy” and just a contest to see who could get the most $ from their friends. My 2005 event cost about 20% of the parties held in 2010-2012. And the sexual behavior started getting wayyyyyy more noticeable and problematic. Party buses are a bad idea imo, and suddenly girls were fighting over the drivers & hooking up in bathrooms & eewwwwwwwwww!
@ 6:59 - I do not agree that the bride should have no say in how her pre-wedding parties are planned. I am not saying the bride has a right to act like a spoiled, entitled brat. Just saying that you should give consideration to what the bride wants. For instance, if she's not into the whole club scene, or if she is uncomfortable with strippers, don't make her participate in that stuff. If you know her, you should have an idea of what she'd like. Maybe she wants a slumber party, a spa day, a trip to Mexico, a painting day, a craft day. Maybe a night at Dave and Buster's (like Chuckie Cheese, but for adults). Whatever it is, you should care about what the bride wants. It would be pretty messed up to plan something you know she wouldn't like for her.
Re: Lucy the round 2 bachelorette party, if I was in her shoes I can see wanting a reunion of some kind (once everything was safe) so we could all celebrate together since so many people couldn’t come, but she’s clearly just in it for the party. You don’t need another massive bash, and it’s really inconsiderate to demand that of people especially in light of the crashing economy. Reunion? Yes. Party? No, stop being greedy.
@@samuelwoods164 Agreed, that's why it would've been smart for them to respond, no, not now but let's go on a weekend trip together in a couple years. That would've clearly shown the bride's interest was it fun with friends or a free trip?
@@samuelwoods164 How is it implied not good at picking up on those things didn't it claim she wanted all her friends together and since when choosing to go out mean making someone else pay isn't expected that grow adults pay for themselves if anything isn't the one doing the inviting traditionally use to be the one treating someone offering in the moment is a nice gesture but not the norm. Th e girl that really wants the trip making people take off for work should be the one treating since them going during a time they can't really afford and she the one that clearly needs the girls out time
@@bunnyboo6295 It's implied, by what she's named it. Bachelorette party being paid for by the bridal party. If she is insinuating every girl pay for themselves she would have called it a vacation. Even if she called it an Anniversary Trip it would have suggested She's Paying for everyone.
@@bunnyboo6295 because she specifically wanted a 2nd bachelorette/Hen which the cost of the woman getting married is traditionally divided up among the women that attend.... if she said she wanted a holiday or trip with everyone who was invited to the bachelorette then it would be expected she would pay for herself.
I like this bridesmaid for standing by her principles, regardless of the peer pressure. She is not a follower, and that's a good thing..No judging the bride, but don't judge the bridesmaid either.
It doesn't have to be. We rented a pool and got pizza and watched old John Hughes movies. My husband went bowling and played pool. Both events were light hearted, not expensive, and no stress. No strippers, no gifts expected, just fun with those we are close to. Not everyone makes it this major thing, only the really entitled selfish people who usually end up divorced but not before complicating everything by having kids to fight over.
To those who never had social anxiety: Have you ever seen a caged wild cat, pasing around in their cage, eyes darting in every direction, hyper aware? That's how it feels for me at clubs and large social events. Your mind doesn't work as it usually does and you just want to escape and stop being SOOOO hyper anxious. Sometimes you can't because of "friends" like the OP had, who think that the only way to express your friendship is to put yourself in an extremely uncomfortable situation. Judging the last OP as an asshole just proves that people have no idea what social anxiety is or how debilitating it can be.
Asking a "friend" to compromise their values for your entertainment is incredibly entitled. Sucks they were made to feel bad for having standards and values in their relationship. I'm a party girl, but I would support my "friends" boundaries and just be happy to have her after the strippers. PS. Charlotte I Got My Petty Merch!! Love it too. Good quality.
As someone who doesn't drink at all (medical reasons and general dislike of alcohol), I really empathise with the last person. Personally, I would have just left, instead of forcing my feelings onto others. I have been to one hen do and she was, and still is, a close friend; when she and the rest of the group went clubbing, I went for a while and left after getting uncomfortable by the noise and alcohol. The friend understood because she's a good friend. I wished her a fun time, hugged and headed back to the hotel early. I wasn't the only person in the group who left; another non-drinker friend also left with me while the rest had a fun filled night. Perhaps due to my own experiences and anxiety, I feel the last person wasn't the AH - that no-one was and it was more of a miscommunication error. No friend should be forced to do things they're uncomfortable with at any type of gathering or situation and if you are being forced to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps it's time to find better friends who respect your boundaries
Why do we need to accept someone getting sloppy drunk like it's meaningful? The bridal shower doesn't make you look any less stupid! Most places outside North America it's really frowned on if you get shitfaced on purpose.
I'm married for 42 years. My Bachelorette party was dinner at a Chinese restaurant with unending Mai Tais. We had a blast just enjoying each other's company. Our wedding was so much fun we had to extend it an hour. Even the band stayed for free. My dad paid $40 for extra liquor. It was at a country club & the waiters & waitresses joined in. I'd rather have a kick ass wedding than a stupid lame Bachelorette party. 👰♀️ 🤵
I've known people who are pushy as hell when it comes to alcohol and going out to party. Even if the OP of the last story had just kept to herself and turned down any shots she didn't want, she probably would have still been treated like a 'buzzkill'. If she had refused to go at all I'm sure she would have been pressured and guilt tripped about even more than it already seems like she had been. No one is entitled to make anyone feel like shit for not wanting to get shit faced.
I really feel for the last girl. I feel like she was probably pressured to go even when she told them she didn't do that stuff normally!! I hate to burst your bubble but not everyone likes to stay out and party even if it is for a bachelorette party!!
However there was nothing stopping her from going home. Even if she was pressured into attending, she should have just left when she needed to-it gets especially easy when everyone is very intoxicated like it sounds was the case. She could have left and said she’d meet them for brunch or whatever was next instead of trying to persuade others to leave so she could feel it was acceptable for her to go too. Edited to add: I forgot she mentioned having social anxiety. I realize this makes it harder for her to handle the social pressure but that still means she and the bride at least should have communicated if she couldn’t handle the pressure to stay and leave on her own without being given an “out”. People can’t be accommodating if they don’t know they need to be, but that said they could’ve been a lot nicer regardless of knowing the situation. There was no need to be catty.
I also feel like she was doing what she felt was best. None of it seemed to come out if an a-hole attitude, but a desire for what was best for everyone. She obviously isn't someone for nights out, and when she does, she's the one to make sure everyone gets home safe. Definitely not TA, but overdramatic, and assumed things about the night which was untrue. The "friends" seem somewhat a-holey though.
@@acrefray while I still get the impression she wanted others to leave too so she could feel better about going, I do agree with you that I think she meant to be coming from a caring place. It’s like u said though, she was making assumptions and given it isn’t her norm to “party hard” with these girls she should’ve worried about herself and let them be adults. You can be the “drunk mom” of the group without bringing people down and make sure everyone is safe.
@@acrefray oh and totally agree some of the friends def seem childish-talk to her face to face instead of tattling to the bride, it’s not middle school lol
If a friend asked me to go to a strip joint for his stag party I’d politely decline the invitation. I’d be extremely uncomfortable, as much for the reason the strippers are often there as much for the nudity.
And your friend should not put up a fuss about it and accept it! I can't believe that lady saying her friend wasn't "supporting her" just because she wouldn't go to something like THAT. wtf
@@danielleking262 agreed!! Everyone has different likes, dislikes, things they're OK with and boundaries. Forcing a friend to come with you even if u make them uncomfortable is not even something that crosses my mind as a friend. Tf
Tbf last one is kind of messy. Yes, she probably should have not bothered "gauging" if people wanted to take the party back "home"/end it early and rather just left if she didn't want to stay. Then again it seems like the Bride was diving headfirst into just getting black out drunk during the bachelorette. Having fun is one thing, but to get that drunk speaks volumes. Like ya got issues and maybe should see a therapist lol OP probably knows her limits, has done the "drunk" phase and has moved onto better ways to handle & enjoy her life. I'm sure my old friends would consider me a "party pooper", but that's why we arn't friends anymore lol
I was my sister-in-law’s MOH, but she ended up asking me if I’d give up the MOH position to another bridesmaid that very desperately wanted it. I was busy with college, a job, and an internship so I understand her wanting someone that was able to be more involved. I wasn’t upset at all but what did make me a lil peeved for the bride was her bachelorette party. (Back when I was MOH) I was trying to figure out what my SIL wanted for her party. She told me she’d have a lot of fun spending the day at a nearby amusement park. So I bought myself and bride tickets. I told the rest of the bridesmaids the plan and told them they might wanna buy their tickets online ahead of time. No one did and a lot of the bridesmaids said they couldn’t go. The bride asked me if I’d invite one of my friends so that there’d be more people coming. The morning before leaving for the amusement park the bride’s cousin (the only other bridesmaids going besides me) bailed because she didn’t want to have to drive to the bride’s house early in the morning. So my SIL, me, and my friend all went for the day. When we came back suddenly all her bridesmaids were texting her saying they were going to bring alcohol to the bride’s house and spend the night drinking. (Note: the bride and all of her bridesmaids except me and one other were younger than 20) I didn’t care if they wanted to drink because I get wanting to party but what I thought was crappy was that all her bridesmaids had ditched her, but suddenly when there was drinking involved they were all available. I didn’t stay for the “after party” because after spending the entire day running around an amusement park I was tired af. Funny thing is I don’t think my SIL even talks to her MOH anymore…
I have been invited to a few bachelorette parties. One was in Las Vegas. I declined. One was dressing the bride up and walking around Los Angeles with a list of things she had to do and strangers she had to interact with. Then we took her to a fancy restaurant. One was just an ordinary dinner and a movie. One was hanging out at Disneyland and dinner at one of the Disneyland hotels so more ladies could join in without having to pay admission to the theme park. I like tuning in to Charlotte's videos, but I doubt we would be real-life friends.
Did I know that my friend was going to horribly ill from drinking mimosas (in a gigantic sippy cup btw) for LITERALLY OVER 20 HOURS on our last vacation together? Yes. Did I tell her to switch drinks to try to protect her? Yes, but only once. After that we all just put our hands up and said "you go girl". She got vitamin C poisoning and spent the next day puking and pooping her brains out. She knew EXACTLY who's fault it was. No harm to our friendship, she did it "her way", and now we all get to laugh about it on our next vacation instead of losing a friend!
honestly, I sympathized with the girl in the last scenario but her execution was poor. I am also an introverted and not a drunken party animal at the drop of a dime kinda person either. i prefer fun activities instead of drinking for no reason. But I have been accidentally agreed upon or dragged into such situations where i just have to play along and not risk ruining things for everyone, usually they even guilt me into "get out of your comfort zone" too. However, if they are people you are close to or care about, it's what you'd do for a short period. Then you could invite them to do something that you want to do and it's totally different from just drinking and drinking and see if they are down to go along or ruin things for you. If they do ruin things for you, then go ahead and dump that one dimensional excuse of a human being.
I’m the same way, but tbh she. She said “non-consensual drinks” it made me kinda mad. She didn’t have to drink it and the other girl is free to make her own choices. At the end of the day she’s an adult and she has to have her own backbone. It felt like she was making herself out to be more of a victim than she was.
@@athenarocks7657 yes! Someone brought you a drink, there is no rule that says you have to drink it. It's so much easier if you are buying a round to just go grab something that most people drink for everyone than finding out who wants one and what they want. You don't like what you got fine, give it to someone else 🤷♀️
I went to the bachelorette party of two of my dearest friends when they got married. For one we went to the Hamam (Turkish bathhouse) and had massages, lounged in the hot room and has lots of fruit and mint tea 😌 So relaxing. The other we went to do an escape room which was so much fun too and a tapas dinner after ☺️ Strippers for your bachelorette party is just so tacky and yes it would make me super uncomfortable too 😑
It was interesting watching this video to see the notion that ‘the bride gets one day’. In Indian weddings there are several events (engagement, haldi, sangeet, mehendi, etc). of which some are mandatory so the bride gets several days :)
In the US & some other countries, wedding dress shopping is often an event for the bride and some family or close friends. It is at least a couple hours if not whole day, depending on how lavish or much fun the bride wants to make it. If it were me, I'd at least feed my crew before, so they weren't hangry while judging me in dresses. And we'd probably need a drink (booze or not) afterwards, to decompress.
My bachelorette party started with LaserTag. Two of the girls said from the start that they would prefer to join after since LaserTag is not for them and one good friend of mine excused herself from it because she was sleep deprived due to heartbreak. All three of them joined later for dinner and we had a fun night and I had fun at LaserTag with my friends who actually wanted to play. No big deal. People (normally) are not trying to personally attack you if they don't want to join a certain activity that you chose.
A friend of mine worked a very popular drag club. One of the men guests accidently bumped one of the dancers during the opening. During the show, they made a point of taking his glasses off and kissing them. Both lenses were COVERED in red, sticky goo as payback. DONT PISS OFF A DRAG QUEEN!!
All of these posts just make me more grateful for my SIL. She invited me to be in her wedding party and then completely understood when I said I couldn't go to the bachelorette party because I was in college (still am) and had a lot of work to do, along with the fact I didn't have my own car at that time. I was later able to make it to the rehearsal dinner no problem and then attended the wedding and had a great time. Bridezillas are so freaking crazy.
Omg. So did I! I did find out that I'd actually seen her on another channel before finding her channel; she was on "top 10 central ". That's where I saw her first.
Last story, I actually think the bride should have known and had an honest convo with OP on Bach party. If you never party with that one friend and suddenly ask them to, knowing full well their personality , then she kinda brought it on herself. You can’t force people to be who they’re not
I think as soon as she said, "It's not about your comfort..." that would be enough for me to decide that the friendship was one sided and not worth maintaining.
My MAID OF HONOR talked trash behind my back to the other bridesmaids and called me a “prude” because I didn’t want strippers at my bachelorette. I ended up having to kick her out of my wedding for a combination of things but yeah. Pretty shitty. We had been friends for over 10years.
Man, that's a bummer. Sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure that still stings. 😔
Good job on standing up to her
Sorry to hear that happened☹
I would’ve been mortified with strippers, I have anxiety disorders and it would’ve been a bad time for me.
You're not a prude, just loyal to your spouse??? Good for you kicking her out.
My mom told her friends that during her bachelorette party, if there was to be one, all she wanted was a night in, some good food and great company.
What did the friends do? Kidnapp her and drag her to a "club" (IT was the 90's, they went dancing and there was a bar) and drink all night doing stuff she wasn't into. She had just found out that she was pregnant with me and keeping it on the down low so she couldn't join them/wouldn't and it was a disaster all around. They ended up ditching her in their drunkeness and mom called home to be picked up.
Sometimes it isn't the bride that is a zilla - it's the friends taking advantage of an event to live out their old glory days.
Oh Jesus on all my birthdays friends weren't happy just sitting having a drink with me , it was always 'this is boring let's go elsewhere' I'm autistic I don't like crowded places, so I'd say I wanted to go home and they'd just fuck off out without me.
Even on my 21st we all went for dinner then back to my house with all my family there and we were guna go out later, my 'friends' tried to convince me to leave my own fucjing party as soon as we finished eating.
They then stole £200 of my birthday money from my bedroom while I was in the other room opening presents with my family.
I fucking HATE people 🤬
Aww...that sux. Glad she still got you though!
oof. Ya, I think you gotta respect the bride's wishes and comfort zone for things like that. It doesn't mean that you cater to her every unrealistic whim, but if she says no strippers or no getting trashes then respect that.
I'm really not a bridezilla, but I knew what I wanted, which was my bachelorette party to be about me and what would make it fun for me and the wedding to be about me and my husband and our wishes... I had a bridesmaidzilla, that made both days about her, because "You don't know how hard it is to not even have a boyfriend yet" (she was 22) - I'm the kind of person who hates being the center of attention and never is... But I really wanted to have those two days 😑 I haven't talked to that zilla since... It's been 9 years
That's awful! They were obviously more concerned with THEM having a good time than making it about the Bride. I really can't believe people. They could've planned something quiet with her early on, then gone drinking after if they were that desperate.
Dude. I applaud June for being faithful to the rules she’s set, and that she’s explaining it. The ‘friend’ is no friend at all!
Clearly she's a selfish party girl who has no concept of what marriage really is....unlike June. I think OP's real problem is that June has a strong moral compass that deep down she knows makes her look really bad in comparison. OP wanted the strippers but knew it looked dirty of her if June true to form morally objected and didn't show up . She was probably even gleefully anticipating finally getting some dirt on her squeaky clean friend to ease feeling bad about herself. This is why she was so furious when June steadfastly refused to give in to her harassment and made it clear that it was not going to happen which only made her look worse.
"You're not a bachelorette anymore" So True lol. It's like saying "I didn't have a good sweet 16 so I want a redo party", "Ma'am you're 30...that chance has passed."
June needs better friends.
The OP is so entitled that she can't respect boundaries and moral/ ethical qualms of her friend.
Exactly.
agreed! I'm sure they are no longer friends. As I am sure the OP is no longer married since she clearly likes playing "single" for a night here and there.
She even said she would come after the strippers. I don’t get why the bride is so pressed.
As someone who had a friend like this, it’s not worth it. If they can’t respect your boundaries then they just overall don’t actually care about you. And it will continue.
getting forced into sexual situations for the fun of others yeay, how can people think that ok?
I love the fact that June the bridesmaid doesn’t want to be around strippers out of respect for her husband. June is going to be married a lot longer than the bachelorette/bridezilla.
Even if she was just a prude that would be for her to decide on how she's happy. You can be a prude if you want to (just dont expect others to be too, but that go both ways).
TRUTH! 🤣 June is clearly a wonderful woman and maybe bride should take a page from June's book! (So to speak)
@@martinaasandersen3775 ok let's say June is just a total prude. All things aside why on earth would u want your best friend to feel super uncomfortable just for your day! If I knew my bestie wasn't ok with this I would not force her. I would ask if she explained to me that this is why or what ever her reason was . I would respect that. Why bc it is my best friend. My bestie and I are opposite big time always have been. But this is why I love her! And if this was me and her I would just let it go and see my bestie tomorrow
facts! My sister and I got invited to a bachelorette party that had strippers and we didn't know prior to coming they would be there. It was uncomfortable how far things went with the soon to be bride. We left early. Their marriage failed in less than 2 years. Mine was a pool/pizza party with John Hughes movies, no strippers, no crazy amount of money spent, just good clean fun. Married 28 years. My husband and his groomsmen went bowling and played pool, they had a great time, no strippers or booze. I feel like people who have strippers at their parties are more likely to cheat and get divorced because they clearly still want to play single.
@@jewels964 That was my point... it doesn't matter whether she's a prude or not.
Anyone on AITA who says, “He/She needs to drop his/her goody-two-shoes act/attitude!” is automatically the a-hole. Who calls someone that unironically? Who types up a story to post on there and thinks, “Using a phrase that only a villain in a bad 1980s cartoon would use is sure to win people over to my side and make them attack this person for daring to have standards instead of being my puppet!”?
“Goody-two-shoes” does give off the Afterschool Special Villain vibe circa 1982, doesn’t it?
Totally agree!
Hey, June CHB a wild one before she met this guy she married, but in any case, it is HER decision to eschew male strippers. I was a wild one, with a rule with my group of friends that "Whatever happens outside the continental United States, but Florida included, stays outside the continental United States and Florida"....
However, I immediately become more like June when I am in love in a committed relationship. I would be uncomfortable with strippers, plus I would NOT want to open up THAT can of worms, BC guys going to a reg strip club, with easy sex in your face, bothers me, even though I think I would trust him, or I would not have made the commitment. SO, NO strippers for either of us.
Thank you 👏
Yeah, using the phrase "goody-two-shoes" as an adult is a definite red flag. Chances are that's code for "I like to be more extreme (or irresponsible in some cases) than they're comfortable with, so clearly their boundaries are the problem."
Update on the last reddit (post from reddit):
Thanks for all the comments, it gave me a lot to think about and cry about. Thanks for the more civil ones especially. Didn't think it would get this much engagement, so it's good to see multiple POVs. After some time, it seems like only the other folks with anxiety problems are on my side, lol. But I gotta learn to deal with non-anxious folk to get through life, right?
I think we both made mistakes, but I made more. She shouldn't have even invited me, she shoulda confronted me while things were happening so I could amend my behavior. But I shouldn't have attended in the fist place. FOMO aside, I was also worried that not attending was worse than attending and doing my best to deal, which turned out to be a bad move. I didn't know the social rules, straight-up. I should have been more of a trooper and less of a busybody (both were things I didn't realize I was doing at all.) These are all things that are exacerbated by my anxiety/depression.
Made an appointment for therapy fwiw. Gotta un-asshole.
UPDATE: Uhhhhhhh I just learned that BRIDE entirely broke off her friendship from the Maid of Honor (friends for 5+ years) for the crime of implying BRIDE was washing some dishes oddly, so adjust your Asshole status according to this new information. She did it VIA EMAIL too. I'm still gonna get therapy but I think we're safely in BRIDEZILLA territory at this point.
Thank you for the update!
Tell you what, the way OP approached this thread is pretty commendable. She seems level-headed, accepting of her flaws and mistakes, and willing to learn from them.
I've had massive social anxiety in my younger years, so I really understood your point of view, social anxiety can really sometimes come off as having a massive ego when it's not that at all. But yeah, gotta learn how to deal with non-anxious folks to get through life. But also you need to be able to set up healthy boundaries for yourself. Healthy boundaries that especially include not taking responsibility for other peoples choices if you don't have to. Example: prevent your friend from drunk driving - good boundary, prevent your friend from experiencing a bad hangover - not your problem. And telling off that guy at the bar was perhaps a start in developing healthy boundaries. But it's a messy process. We're all the AH sometimes. So all in all, don't see this experience as a huge mistake, it was a few days filled with valuable lessons for the rest of your life. Best wishes for the future.
@@wolfvontyr2266 I think shes lovely... Great friend to have
@@stoferb876 If it had been any other night, I would agree with you that it wasn't her problem to recommend her friend avoid a hangover. But it wasn't any other night, it was the night before her wedding. She was just trying to be a good friend and look out for someone who was about to have a huge day the next day or next few days. Imo, the other people in this situation were the AH, not OP. Her heart was in the right place, and others clearly didn't appreciate that. And their reaction to her concern and behavior was 10x worse than anything she did.
I took my closest female friends to a local waterpark for my bachelorette party (in late June). We spent several hours riding waterslides, going around the lazy river, chatting, and bonding. It was exactly what I wanted and I was so happy!
This would be so fun! What a great idea!
That sounds fun AF 💯
The “point” of a bachelorette party isn’t always to get trashed. Some people want to do other things to spend time with their friends before they get married. The idea that you MUST do it is really pretty ridiculous.
But she was Gatekeeping everyone elses drinking. I get that she didn't want to drink much. She didn't have to try and stop everyone else. I don't drink, but as long as you're legal age and not driving. Have fun!
@@MandieTerrier she wasn’t trying to stop everybody. She just wanted them to slow down, so the after wouldn’t be as hard and them complaining about a heavy hangover.
No, not that you must.. but to try and stop the bride to be from getting trashed is the issue. Let her do what she wants. As long as it's not something that can hurt her or others obviously. If they want to get wasted, then by all means, you let them get wasted. The idea of a bachelorette party is to get trashed, and party for one last night with a group of girlfriends. That doesn't mean that's what anyone HAS to do, and no one said you "must."
@@tyffaneelavely8087 you feel like you must when peer pressure is a thing and they will get mad at you for saying no.
@@tyffaneelavely8087 if you are not used to that, it looks like you asking for her to cheer on the bride hurting herself . . . which technicly she was. The bride activly tried to poison herself
As a former bartender, I can tell you that there is nothing worse than having to serve a bunch of loud, obnoxious, entitled women whose sole purpose of the event is to get the bride (and themselves) so shitfaced that they don't remember anything from the night. What is the point? Stop doing it. It's dangerous.
I was a bartender also, in Brooklyn, and I worried despite their awful behavior BC I was roofied at 18. Plus, the booze alone will knock you out like a roofie, and the guys would circle the group like sharks!
This is why we are doing homemade cocktails for my bach party. We getting drunk and painting bob ross yasssss
@@mikaelawilliams5779 You had me at drunk and painting Bob Ross. That sounds like my kind of party!
When I was in high school, the general attitude was "if you're not drunk, you aren't having fun" and "if you can remember the night, it couldn't have been fun." I still don't understand that attitude, and thought it quite stupid. As you say, what's the point? Don't you want memories to laugh at, and reminisce about, or is that too grown up for you? Needless to say, I didn't go to parties much in high school.
Agreed. I've never been drunk and never plan to be. I don't understand the drink to get drunk thing.
I was miserable at my cousin's bachelorette. It was a beach weekend, which I was excited about and wanted to attend to support my cousin and spend time with her and family (as I live in a different state than everyone else). The beach stuff was fun and relaxed, but then they wanted to have a bar hopping night, and it's just really not my scene. But it wasn't my bachelorette, so I sucked it up and went to the bars...where I was consistently losing the other party goers, getting groped by drunk dudes, and unable to hear due to overly loud music. It was really hard for me, but I kept trying (I didn't want to be a wet blanket)...until this one guy would not leave me alone. I finally had enough and gave him such an attitude and death glare (maybe I said something snarky too, can't really remember) he backed off and sulked away. I decided I'd had enough, called our agreed upon ride to leave, and told the others I was leaving but to have fun. The next morning some of the party were giving me a hard time because I'd apparently "scared" the 6'2, 250lb dude who I gave attitude to (I'm 5'2 and around 145lb), and I responded that my body isn't up for grabs just because I'm in a bar. He didn't just try once to put hands on me and despite my consistently letting him know I wasn't comfortable, he persisted, and I finally had enough. I wasn't going to apologize for that.
I would have left after losing track of party goers. The group should have stuck together for safety and it sounded like they didn't care for you at all. I'm sorry you had to go through that. This is why I don't care for the bar scene either.
Good for you not letting that guy touch you.
if people can't understand that you won't be going to participate in a certain part of the bachelorette party because it makes you uncomfortable, then they aren't worth your time. also, the fact that they gave you a hard time for fending of that guy (rightfully so) says a lot about what kind of people they are. I'm glad you got home safe
You shouldn’t feel like you had to apologise. No means no and both the guy and the girls should respect personal boundaries!
I hope the guy thought you were going to call the cops on him. LOL.
I've personally experienced the last story about "non-consensual drinks".Mine happened at work and I thought it was just a lunch out. Then at the end, someone brought beers for everyone; the beers were already opened, no going back. They kept hounding me as to why I wasn't drinking and wouldn't take no for an answer because "(person) already brought the drinks". So I drank it, and not even ten minutes later I had to go home because my whole mouth flared up with rashes and my neck was starting to itch. I'm allergic to fermented drinks, but somehow they wouldn't accept when I just said "I can't", they thought I was being a killjoy and these were people that I go to work with every day, some were people who were at a higher station than me. It might be funny and overdramatic for people who don't have to deal with that situation, but when you're there that's what it totally is... a non-consensual drink.
I think you needed to be more assertive. If a man kept hounding you for sex and wouldn’t take no for an answer, the minute you give in is the minute you consent. The minute you drank it is the minute you consented. Be assertive, be a bitch if you need to, but don’t believe that anyone other than you is in control of or responsible for your choices. Otherwise you’re an easy target and always a victim.
Um... That really does sound like it's on you. Were there not any other ways you could think to deal with the situation rather than drinking something you were allergic to?
Like, my friend will literally go into anaphylactic shock and die if she drinks alcohol, and she has never poisoned herself at a work do because people were pressuring her to drink. And they have tried. So... Yeah, I have limited sympathy. If she can deal with it and not lose her job, you're doing something wrong if you have to poison yourself.
@@gokuxsephiroth4505 some people, especially women, young women, have a hard time saying no, being assertive, because they are people pleasers. I wouldn’t say there’s something wrong with them, I’d say they need to learn skills to overcome peer pressure, or other pressure. I think it’s about asking yourself, why do I find it difficult to say no, to stick to my values? Everyone has room to grow, it’s not that there’s something wrong with them. Having a victim mentality, that others did this to me, is a mentality that needs to be changed. Take accountability and say, I chose to drink that, nobody made me do it, I’m unhappy with my choice…is how you grow. But honestly, saying, there is something wrong with me, is also a victim mentality, and talking to yourself like that is toxic.
Also I don’t think she was asking for your sympathy, just telling her story. I don’t know why you feel the need to come at her with such avarice.
@@gokuxsephiroth4505 it's funny to me you are more concerned about her going against peer pressure rather than the fact alcohol is a drug and for some reason it's acceptable to push it onto people. I don't drink and I don't have to explain myself. If I say no stop pressuring. It's ridiculous.
really, I don't know why you drank it at all if you knew you were allergic. That doesn't sound like friends, that sounds like douchebags. Personally, I would've, and have done this, is offer it first to someone who wanted it because I don't drink and I won't. I don't like alcohol. and if they insisted I would've have purposefully have tipped it over and poured it out while staring at the group dead ass stare so they would KNOW it wasn't an accident because if they're going to be asshats, I might as well be one too.
I guess one of the good things about being a socially anxious, introverted hermit is that I've never been asked to be in any bridal parties.
I've never been in bridal parties either.
You're missing nothing!
The level of toxicity some of these people have is scary!! And that poor "June" bridesmaid with the strippers, man... Like if your bride is willing to be THAT selfish with her own friend, what do you think she's going to do with you once you're married? That was a personal boundary she set and that bride was willing to cross it in the name of her own selfishness. So many red flags come out in the wedding planning process.
Not only that, she tried to make “June” cross boundaries set in June’s marriage for a party. Imagine what she’ll do in her own marriage.
@@Lynnie_2510 no cap! 💯
I see myself in June, since i set myself some boundaries... I always think in a way where I wouldn't do something to someone when I wouldn't want that person to do that something to me. On the other hand, I would support my best friend, no matter what... But I would talk with my boyfriend about it... Still, the attitude from her is a no-go as a friend soooo in this case it's a hell nahh
I see strippers, I’m leaving. I’m short so they always want to pick me up and do that pony thing. Never again 😂
@@AuroraCreator555 🤣🤣🤣
The last girl-i honestly don’t think she’s an a-hole. She reminds me of the reserved, introverted “mom” friend who wants to make sure everyone is alright. I honestly think she meant well, but it backfired because of her. I’m a lot like her so I see myself in her. If I was in the situation, I would have told my friend that i am going to sit this out and let her enjoy her bachelorette party OR I would have went just to show my face, leave early and send a text stating, “Hey, Your party is great. I’m tired, so I’m leaving earl. I had a great time at your party. Enjoy the rest of your night and have fun”.
I mean, I can totally she where she meant well. You can even tell she meant well because she felt bad after the replies written back to her post.
I agree. Personally If I was her though I would have asked the bow out of that type of event.
I dont drink and I have no way of filtering noise levels. bars and clubs just make me have headaches if i dont wear earplugs, I cant even handle restaurants with music half the time because what's the freakin point in going somewhere when I cant talk to anyone anyways. I end up just looking at people I am with and smiling and nodding because I have no idea what is being said. I would be an absolute wet blanket sitting in the corner somewhere, and I would have been up front and said that.
U can do so without being a killjoy. I did so. I was DD for years and i still had fun n they didnt get mad. Lmaoo
I agreeee
"You're leaving Earl? I thought you and him were doing great!" 😜
(I know you meant 'early', just couldn't resist lol)
If you are really friends, then they understand you.
I'm always the DD and make it my job to keep everyone together and safe. My friends totally get that and don't mind.
Story: my BFF was invited to a three-way and was totally down for it. When she told me she was leaving with them, I shut that down hard. Told them she could call them some other time when she was sober. She came with me and would leave with me.
Good on June for standing her ground rather than getting roped into something uncomfortable. Hopefully her hubby cheered her up with a routine of his own :)
I feel SO bad for June. I'm a very sensitive, reserved person too and I COULD NOT imagine how brave she had to be to politely decline to something like that. She's such a good partner for declining and respecting their relationship boundaries.
'Stop peer-pressuring your friend into male nudity' is the best sentence I think I've read this week.
The last one was a mix of over dramatic ("nonconsentual" drinks was an annoying word, but a lot of the time people buy a round, if you say no, they get butt hurt and will push you into it-seen it enough working at a bar, and dealt with it after shifts). Wanting to make sure the bride is OK is part of the bridal party's job. So I'd say it's 100% within her right to suggest a slow down and water, so she can continue partying without getting sicker. Yes, the party is about the bride, but the bridesmaids and MOH need to make sure she doesn't get alcohol poisoning before her big day...
I don't think people have a problem with someone encouraging people to drink water while on a night out. It's the whole tone and delivery, plus the fact that she tried to END the night out early, and the whole tone in her post seemed very obnoxious.
I agree- I think some of it was genuine concern which she should have as the wedding party. Some of it did seem weird too- it did kind of seem like she was trying to get people to leave before it was over but at the same time she says she just simply asked them if they were OK- so that one is tough to judge kind of. The non consensual shots is what got me lolol that’s a bit dramatic.
@@jazmynelizabeth4989I don't think so... I mean if her friend looked tired so she asked them if they are comfortable or want to leave. Its not really ending party Its making sure everyone is ok. I think her friends are bit immature.
I normally agree with you Charlotte, but I have to disagree with one part for the last story. Yes, she was dramatic in retelling (“non-consensual shots”???), but her last point about making sure everyone stays safe hits close to me. As an extremely empathetic person (fyi, I’m a guy and I don’t drink, but my friends tend to get extremely wasted), I tend to watch over my friends when we go to parties. I know some people like the idea of drinking till black out drunk and having hangovers the next day. But there are dangers with getting too wasted. You say everyone is an adult and to leave them alone, and I agree that they are adults. But just like I can’t simply sit back while watching someone get hurt, I get concerned when I see my friends go too crazy with alcohol.
I nearly died from drinking too much and I was choking on my own vomit. Thank God my friends were there to save me. After that, I never drank again, and it’s been almost 10 years. People assume that there are no possible repercussions from drinking too much besides a hangover, but there are many. It’s important to drink safely, and if u decline my offer and want to get wasted anyways, that’s fine, I won’t stop you, but you best believe I won’t simply leave, because the chances of you hurting yourself are high.
I also tend to take care of people when they're drunk because I'll usually not drink or maybe have a single glass of something. One time I literally showed up to a club with condoms for one of my friend's friends (who I had only met like once or twice) because he drunkenly called me and told me he was gonna pick up girls that night. Now he didn't actually end up picking up any girls but when home at midnight to and I quote "watch the newest episode of Pokemon" which makes me laugh to this day but my point still stands. I also usually end up as the therapist once everyone else gets drunk.
Not to mention that the more drinks one gets the less they are capable of making the right decisions. Many don’t even realize they’ve had too much. My sister did the same at my bachelorette party and I definitely had too much. The moh had bought Me another drink anyway after my sister said i had had enough, and my sister took it away and we left. I’m actually thankful for that. I was suuuper sick the next day from all of that alcohol and that one drink could have made things much worse.
i completely agree. my mom always preached me, you never leave ANYONE in a state they really could hurt themselves or others. even worse get hurt by somebody.
i once was on a night out with (now ex-) friends and drank to much, they "escorted" me to the busstop and just left me there. i luckily somehow got home safe and i can’t even imagine what horrible things could have happened. never talked to them again.
especially since that day found better friends and always watch over them when we drink not only because i expect the same but also why would you let your friends get hurt?
i hope this somehow makes sense
Tbh, that OP sounded like she has autism. She said she had social anxiety but to not be able to read the room, it’s possible she has autism and probably undiagnosed. Calling her the AH and cutting her down like this when she has already expressed that she was devastated by having her intentions misunderstood will cut much deeper than someone who is not neurospicy.
Y'all I felt the exact same way. Socially anxious mom friend here!
Between the "killjoy" who was clearly too afraid to stand out and tried to pressure everyone else to agree with her, and the other "friends" who gossiped behind her back instead confronting the "killjoy" directly, the people in the last story all sound like they're too young to be drinking. Seriously, everybody was operating under high-school logic.
While the "killjoy" definitely sounded like she could have worded her concern better, social anxiety shows up insidiously. For example, you're tired and uncomfortable and so you read others' fatigue as similar feelings, so you ask if they - like you secretly want to - would like to head home. That way you're giving others an "out" if they also want to go home. And because you can't voice your want to go home because of social pressure, social anxiety that makes you clam up under social pressure, you feel like you can't make your voice heard, so you go with the group for fear of ostracization. Shame her friends weren't more understanding of her condition.
@@dawnchesbro4189 Exactly. Depending on my mood, I either get drunk (not blackout, just a fun amount) or I don't drink and end up leaving early, so I understand both sides. I also have social anxiety, so I understand how OP is feeling. OP needs to dump those friends, they're extremely juvenile and, eventhough they say they're her friends, they refuse to accommodate for both her social anxiety and her preferences. It's not hard to go outside with your friend so she can have a little bit of peace and air when you go to a club. It's not hard to make your friend with social anxiety comfortable with speaking up, and if you see them uncomfortable, it also isn't hard to ask if they're good when you know they would stay quiet to avoid standing out. These are basic friendship things and, with the way those friends we're acting, specially the gossiping, they really feel like highschoolers. When I'm in the mood to drink, I'm always thankful for the friends checking up on me, I don't call them negative, and when I'm the sober one, my friends make me comfortable enough to wanna stay sober or leave early when I feel like it. If I had friends like these, we wouldn't be friends for long.
@@momomomo__ building a supportive friend group doesn’t always happen easily. I really hope that person realizes she needs better friends
100% agree w you, this was exactly what i was thinking.
Yeah, I definitely felt like both sides were being a little dumb.
My friend had a bachelorette party with male strippers, SHE knew I would be uncomfortable with it, texted me “hey I’m having male str-ppers I know you’re not ok with that, but they’re leaving at 10pm and we will save the toast until you can arrive” I was happy she let me know and was wiling to make compromises for me and her so we both could be happy, she made it so the male strippers arrived early, so I wouldn’t have to leave early when I arrived, but didn’t feel like she couldn’t have her own perfect bachelorette party on my behalf, I’m so horrified by this person who expects everyone to be ok with nudity to that level I hate people like that so much especially how if I had a soulless friend like I would’ve lost a friend.
Both of the "bachelorette parties" I went to consisted of me and the bride (I was MOH for both) getting our hair and nails done for the wedding. Both times it was the bride's idea. Bachelorette parties do not have to be about getting disgustingly wasted and making people uncomfortable. They also don't have to be stupidly expensive and inconvenient for everyone.
Its like that with weddings too! Had a friend who got married at the Zoo, and her reception was a few days later at a park not far from her house. She and her husband are perfectly happy with it, and it cost as much as JUST hiring a wedding venue for a 'normal' wedding.
Convention means nothing!
If I ever get married, I will make sure my bride is not a bridezilla. Wouldn't want her showing up in a Charlotte Dobre video!
🤣🤣🤣
🤣😜🤪😄 No shit! Great comment!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Exactly! Bridezillas and their victims/hostages/husbands often end up divorced not too long afterward, as we have seen in many videos. If someone acts like that at the wedding, chances are she is a b*tch in many aspects of her life...who would want to plan a life with this pain in the a*s...and all the stripper talk has me thinking of how would she be even making love, like "NO! I told you LAST time go to the left, NO, what is wrong with you, I told you 50X I am NOT putting that thing in my mouth...", you get the idea. Sounds very romantic! .🤣🤣🤣
Be careful not to become a groomzilla either, there have been some of those in here too
Honestly I totally understand the “negative” bridesmaid. I think it would’ve been best for her not to go to the bachelorette party bc it’s clear that this type of party isn’t one that she can enjoy without becoming concerned about various things she perceives as safety or well-being issues. I know that if I were to go to a party like this, I would only be concerned about my friends drinking enough water or not taking drinks from random guys or not getting lost, etc, bc I have a lot of anxiety and those types of parties are not fun to me at all and neither is getting trashed or watching my friends get trashed. It’s extremely anxiety-inducing, which is why I don’t go to parties like this.
I really do think that OP just didn’t know that everything was “normal” because she’s stated that she doesn’t drink publicly, and she thought she was helping people prolong their enjoyment by trying to minimize “painful” or “unenjoyable” things like tiredness, soreness, hangovers, and vomiting. All of those things negate any enjoyment I personally get out of parties and I honestly have a very hard time understanding how people can have fun right after they’ve thrown up, but again, that’s why I don’t attend events like this, and why OP shouldn’t have attended this one.
I agree, some of us mature faster, mentally and heck, physically. Plus, I was roofied at 18, so I would be worried. The age for drinking then was 18 in New York, and we got into bars, and most clubs, at 15, 16-my first bar experience was at 15 at a college dive bar by Brooklyn College, and my GFs and I were prime meat when I hadn't even kissed a boy yet (I made up for lost time after I started working on Wall St-f-in INSANE in the 80s, just like you see in movies, free coke they gave the brokers and even us "reg folks", so we worked harder, faster and stayed longer) Obviously, this WAS a long time ago, when dinosaurs roamed the streets of Manhattan, and sometimes sank the Staten Island Ferry after eating all the Staten Islanders.
Good on you for understanding that your “normal” isn’t everyone’s “normal” and not attending events that make you uncomfortable, rather than attending and trying to impose your standard on other people. 👍
I agree. I really hoped people left the “getting pissed is the only way to have fun” attitude in high school but i guess not. What’s the point of fun you can’t remember? It’s really sad that having fun somehow assumes getting shitfaced from alcohol.
@@matematicarka I think a bachelor/bachelorette party is often viewed as a send off to an old way of life, hence why people party like they’re teenagers again.
@@ms.annthropic6341 I guess, IDK, I don’t like being drunk so I try to stay hydrated and well fed if I am going to consume anything with alcohol. But I’m more fun sobber, when I’m tipsy I start talking to people about maths or some fantasy story, which most people don’t find as fun as I do 😆
Why does the bride think that June should check with her husband before giving a definitive no? June is a grown-a$$ed woman who doesn't need anybody's "okay" before stating her position based on her morals.
1:31 Kudos to June. Utmost respect.
Real friends should understand that someone is uncomfortable in these surroundings, that she is loyal to her husband and wants to respect his feelings.
I sincerely hope for June that her husband does the same.
3:24 love that June thinks about her partners feels and she's right
I've never understood the concept of the bachelor/bachelorette parties. If you are so fond of partying, and you apparently will miss them so much that you need to throw one last "wildest ever" party in which you could potentially end up being unfaithful to your future spouse, maybe you shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
to be fair a bachelorette party doesn't have to be like that It could be just a normal night with friends.
The str!pper one when Charlotte read the edit I got stuck on "her husband called me and said some really rude things."
Frankly, what husband WOULDN'T call the person harassing his wife?? That's not rude, that's just him being protective/supportive and he has a right to be angry for her.
My ex-H, a great guy, has done that. I was an animal rescuer working a LOT at the shelter AND fostering, working with someone named Karen who couldn't say no to dogs from gassing shelter stated (south, like Georgia), where I kept taking animals from her filthy cottage since I had the big, clean house with no human kids, big yard, etc. She bravely helped me rescue Lucy, the Yellow Lab/Pit in my photo, about-to-be a bait dog. I was in the hospital after a seizure, and she called complaining that because I was not helping her, a dog died, hit by a car BC she had too many to care for. He got on the phone at the hospital and said don't call again. She did, he changed the tel #.
She was eventually arrested for hoarding and it was all over our news, with her coming out in handcuffs.The other dog, Monkey, was on the front page of the newspaper, but he looked wacko so we decided to take him since he needed us. Sure enough, Mental Monkey had a LOT of issues due to witnessing the gassing (I couldn't use my oven when we had stainless steel appliances put in)...then he gets shlepped up her to her feces-ridden house, where who knows what happened to a mentally fragile dog.
Karen DID mean well BUT she had too many issues, so my then-H reminded me do NOT give her your tel #.
I don't get the brides that want to go ham at their bachelorette. I did an escape room, a quiet gin tasting, a lavish dinner, then we drank tea and chatted in our pj's late into the night. I wanted to see my friends that had traveled
You bachelorette sounds way better than most, just swap tea with wine and weed and I'd be thrilled to be there.
I don’t either. I had sandwiches at my maid of honour’s apartment which was nice. Then she made us go out (it was cold! I wasn’t dressed for it) and bar hop/search for her boyfriend. She made me a shirt with candies on it and it was a game called buck or suck (where strangers were to bite them off my shirt. Ew!). One guy did it then the next one, drunk, told me I’d regret it the next morning if I continued. So that was cue to stop. Embarrassing. Oh and I was a few months pregnant. I didn’t want any of that. It’s not my thing. I’m still pissed all these years later. I want a redo where I just chill like you did. And I’m not into strippers. I don’t understand the appeal.
@@Mama_Bear524 your friend sounds out there and not in a good way.
@@Mama_Bear524 ewe!!! What?! That’s so crazy!! I think you should do a re do!! I told my sister exactly what I wanted and that’s what I got! Everyone came to my house and hung out for a while, and I wanted to do karaoke so we went to a Chinese restaurant that had karaoke!! I loved it !
That makes a lot more sense and sounds like a lot more fun, then again I'm not a drinker, if I went to a bar it's only to dance. No dancing, I'll suffer through in support of my friend drinking my virgin strawberry daiquiris. If they don't have those, leaving is the other option lol
okay.. the last story.. I actually see their point, as someone who has always been the “mom” of the group, I can see why they were so concerned. Sure it’s a time to have fun, but being concerned for your friends isn’t a bad thing…
Ive always been there to care for my friends, warn them if they’re doing something that could harm them, or being there for them. Unless, the person was intentionally trying to end it bc of their problems (which honestly, why didn’t they ask first and then see if they would attend or not? I have social anxiety and my first thought is “where are we going?” to see if I’d be able to handle it) then yeah they are the AH.
I can see both sides but if they were just concerned for their friends and everyone thought of them as being “lame” and “boring” or whatever, then I hope they get better friends. However if they were forcing things upon everyone else, then yeah, they are the AH.
Too many drunk driving incidents. To be honest OP was not the A hole here. She was protecting everyone else from get seriously hurt or even dead. OP deserves better friends who actually care about their well being as well as their friends'
The irony of the "nonconsensual drinks" situation is that is the end result of the "you must attend my stripper party" situation. Even if you do force this girl to go, she is going to be uncomfortable and she's going, by default, bring the mood down. I bet that "nonconsensual drinks" girl had been badgered into attending that party and then everyone else has the audacity to be *shocked* that she was uncomfortable and wanted to go home. Obviously, invite everyone you want but sometimes people know that they will bring the mood down just by being uncomfortable and will need to opt out to protect your "special day".
I think she was kinda a kill joy,but at the same someone taking on the responsible role and making sure their friends get water and looked after when sick or hungover seems like kinda a positive? And a good way to have someone lookin out instead of getting wasted to keep you from getting roofied or something
@@mimi.dixon.b Maybe in a normal situation, but I don't think her interest was the bride or the other friends, but hopes for the party to end soon.
There’s a big difference though in attending bc you were invited/begged to (even “badgered into it”) and then saying you alone have to leave early and doing what that girl did trying to pressure others into leaving early so she felt it was acceptable if she did. If she wanted to go home, she should have, she’s an adult and could have left on her own.
Edited to add: read further, I hadn’t remembered her saying she had social anxiety which changes things some, though mostly that it reinforces my opinion that she and the bride at least should have communicated better. And that icymi I agree 100% the other girls shouldn’t have been catty regardless if they knew about this girl. Remember that some of them likely didn’t know her personally bc they were friends of the bride and not everyone else-even more reason to be understanding of people u don’t know if u can’t be understanding of a friend.
I don't drink, but I have no problem with others around me drinking and non-consensual? sorry that was just hilarious. If I wanted to go home that bad, I just would've excused myself not tried to talk others to do the same. However, as a responsible friend, I won't stop them from drinking, but I'd take away their car keys.
@@owatagusiam44 I'm sure they would have told her to stay for a few more hours, even though she wanted to leave.
They discussed on Drag race how Bachelorette parties were known to interrupt shows and even get handsy. Hell to the no!
Screams in Jimbo: IT‘S MY SPECIAL DAYYYYYYY!
That doesn’t surprise me in the least. I was planning a bachelorette party and we were gonna take the bride to a drag show but ultimately decided not to after the behavior of several guests in past at an all male review. I was mortified enough to be at that show, I ONLY went to be supportive, and then a few “ladies” were out right grabbing these men. I felt so gross seeing it. They were like animals.
@@KatArnoldi LOL YESSSS!!!! 😂😂 I hope Jimbo throws deli meat at bachlorette parties.
Trixie and Katya talked about this on Unhhhhh too lol
Interrupting a show is rude. Getting handsy crosses the line. Look but don't touch. Goes for men at strip clubs as well. You can window shop, but putting your hands on the merchandise is off limits.
I don't think that last person was trying to get everyone to leave the party early. OP saw some of her friends looking a little tired and asked them if they wanted either split off from the party to recover from any alcohol they had, or, as it said IN THE POST, move the party to someone's house since it would likely be a more comfortable environment than loud bars. She wasn't trying to end the party, she was trying to make sure her friends were okay. Either Girl A was being intentionally antagonistic or she misread/misspoke about the situation.
Given everything else included though it really sounded to me like the person wanted other people to leave so she wouldn’t be the only one cutting out early and it’d be more “acceptable” for her to go. It’s one thing saying you have to leave early and another asking multiple others if they wanted to go. She needed to worry about herself given she doesn’t go out and “party hard” with these girls, if they are used to that then they know what they can handle without her since she isn’t often there.
@@owatagusiam44 so she should have just not given a crap about her friends and let them attempt getting alcohol poisoning. Good to know you don't care about the health of your friends. fun is more important right. All she did was ask if her friends were ok and if they needed to leave. She wasn't asking so she could leave. And if she did leave early, then everyone of her "friends" would still be gossiping about how much of a fuddy duddy she is. These are no friends of hers. These are girls who are still stuck in their high school mentality. They peaked in high school.
@@beccafreeman4694 alcohol poisoning … what lol, clearly that wasn’t the case relax
@@owatagusiam44 I disagree, to me it read like she was genuinely concerned about the comfort of everyone involved and wanted to ensure that everyone had a good time, but that she didn’t understand that even if they were tired, they were still having a good time. Some people (myself included-I’m autistic) are extra sensitive to particular feelings like tiredness, soreness, nausea, and those feelings will supersede any “fun” that is being had, and it’s hard to understand that not everyone operates that way. If I saw that my friends were looking tired at an event, I would 100% check in on them and ask how to accommodate or remedy their exhaustion because in my brain, remedying that means increasing enjoyment, while remaining in that exhaustion means having no enjoyment.
I’m not saying OP is neurodivergent (tho as a neurodivergent person, I relate to and understand a LOT of what she was saying and how she was saying it) but I do believe she had good intentions.
@@beccafreeman4694 I didn’t say that at all. You should take a step back and try to look at this objectively instead of emotionally. I am actually the “mom” friend when I go out drinking with mine, I do take care of them not that I should have to defend myself to a stranger. Quite frankly though we don’t have enough information to know if that’s “all she did”. Someone on another thread reminded me she said she has social anxiety which definitely makes a difference, but mostly that there needed to be better communication between her and the bride so that there could be boundaries set. She should have been comfortable leaving early without guilt (which it definitely sounds like is what she wanted imo which is totally fine-she said it wasn’t her thing). She should have been comfortable declining a drink offer. And she also should have been given the boundary that they will be safe. If they are used to this and she isn’t, there is a good chance she is interpreting the amount they are drinking as too much for her and therefore too much for them and given they likely have a much higher tolerance that probably isn’t the case. We don’t have enough information imo to be good judges of this. However, I totally agree with you that the gossiping, catty girls are stuck in a high school mentality. They are the real AH’s bc it should have just been a fun and stress free night for the bride and not a drama fest.
I had my Bachelorette party at a drag show. It was only 3 of us (other guests refused because they "didn't do drag shows)." We had a great time. I was never pulled on stage or anything crazy like that, but many of the performers signed my "advice for the bride" shirt. I loved that I was able to relax, drink and be low key
This is the what my partner wants to do for her bachelorette. I think it sounds like such a vibe
If Lucy is so hung up on having a trip with all her friends there, maybe she could pay for the entire trip to thank them for dealing with her demands during the wedding and remaining her friends.
I honestly think the last one was a misunderstanding and the situation was handled poorly. A person with social anxiety and the situation she described, would definitely see everything in a completely different way than the rest of the girls saw it. Everyone thinks she's the a-hole, but I totally understand where she's coming from. I don't drink at all and vomiting is one of my phobias and seeing other people doing it is like the worst thing ever, I know it's not the same for this girl, but I get that seeing her friends sick was something she was worried about, and she was thinking that they wouldn't be able to enjoy other activities the next day. She didn't understand that for her friends, being completely trashed was the whole point, because she doesn't like to feel that way and her friends didn't understand that she's not a party girl. Instead of making this clear to each other, she tried to help, but it came out like she wanted to be their mom or something. And then thinking that she was being considerate by letting them rest the next day (I would have done the same) she was accused of avoiding them. Like I said, miscommunication was the problem there, I don't think she was the a-hole.
Thank you. This is a good summary
I agree. I'm not socially anxious and I do drink, but I don't like the feeling of being drunk and pace my drinking. I also worry like her about people's safety because I've been that less drunk friend watching my drunker friends run into fucking roads and shit because that's suddenly hilarious. Your comment is spot on, they are people who just have completely different viewpoints and it's clearly hard to see each others perspectives. The gossiping was do unnecessary though, those other bridesmaids could have told her directly and no bitch to the bride like they're teenagers...
I very much agree. I'm a complete non-drinker with social anxieties included and I also totally understand where she was coming from. What I am more concerned about is that her friends clearly should have also known this girl and at the very least understand her intentions were not bad. Why are they instead acting like a bunch of high school drama queens about it? Why did they turn it into something that completely 'ruined the night'? It just kind of seems like these people a) are not very mature, or b) don't really have that much of a close connection.
@@indigoeye3874 that's the impression I got too. For example, my friends know that I don't like crowded places and I don't drink, so even when there's alcohol at a certain event, they drink in moderation and we go to places with a few people or do activities that don't necessarily involve crowds. They also have their parties where they drink like there's no tomorrow, but they don't even invite me because they already know that I'm not going and we're all happy with that arrangement. That's why I found it really mean to talk shit behind her back with the bride.
Agreed, and I’m so glad I’m not alone in this bc when Charlotte said she was the AH I was really confused and was wondering if my perspective was an outlier, but it seems like most people in the comments don’t think she’s the AH
June is a good wife... Sorry friend, you're not more important!!
True, even if the event is all about the OP doesn't give her the privilege to go overboard with someones beliefs. Actually June gave a win-win strategy, but still because of OPs entitled mentatlity did not even consider that. I am just sad with these kind of people.
Marriage > friendship. I mean, all things being equal and if it’s not an abusive marriage.
Yeah I’m not even gonna disrespect my fiancé by asking him if he’s comfortable with it because I know he’s not and I know that I’m not comfortable with it so that’s really all that matters. Some peoples relationships are a little bit more open and modern and some peoples relationships are a little bit more private or traditional. As long as we all have long happy marriages!
Do unto others as you would them unto you. I think June was clear and sensible... she didn't want to do something she knew she wouldn't want her husband doing. I think the bride is silly to lose a good friend like June who could've lied & said she couldn't go, instead she not only gave her an honest explanation but she offered to go AFTER the whole stripper thing.
My sister has taught me to learn how to take "No" for an answer. It wasn't easy at first because I wanted to go do fun stuff with her. I later realized she is an introvert, and I am an ambivert more towards the extrovert tendency. We have agreed that if I ever invite her someplace I will only ask once, and it is to extend a courtesy to her so she knows she is being invited. There have been a few times she asked me why I don't do fun stuff with her, and I have to remind her that I try to include her, but she doesn't ever want to go anywhere when I invite her. How does my experience relate to this? The Bride should have been respectful of June's wishes, and go have a good time! June said she would have showed up after the "entertainment " left.
I don't understand how bridezillas can demand that their wedding party must throw away their values for their wedding. Modest women are expected to wear revealing dresses, non drinkers (sober) people are expected to partake and married women are expected to have men grind on them. Yes, it is your wedding event but this is who I am as a person always. Accept me ....or dont. Dont shame me into getting your way with, I am a bad friend garbage. I wish you and your spouse all the best. I.am glad it is not me.
This comment is gold ✨️ 👌
No "real friend" would ask me to disqualify who I Am for any event. Big difference between "friend" and "friendly acquaintance". There are always plenty of acquaintances-- those who don't know you on a deeper level- who could ask for these things. You have to decide your worth as well as the value of the relationship. Real friends can and do 'relate' clearly with one another. So determine that first- so no hurt feelings- well, Fewer hurt feelings anyway.
Personally, I don’t have a problem with saying no to any situation I’m not comfortable with. I just don’t. But I don’t interfere with other’s decisions either. If everyone else got s***faced, and I didn’t, I’d just leave early. Because, as you know, it’s not much fun being around drunk people if you are not also drunk! They’re adults, they are responsible for themselves.
Not everyone thinks that "the point of a bachelorette party" is to get trashed. I grew up in an alcoholic home. I don't drink. I get very uncomfortable around people who drink to excess.
My bachelorette party involved myself, two bridesmaids and a trip to the Ben & Jerry's Factory, with a swing by the Trapp Family Lodge for a couple of drinks at their bar. It was exactly what I wanted and it was a perfect day. My husband's bachelor party? A trip to a pinball/video game restaurant/pub with his friends where they played Goldeneye on the vintage game tv they had set up. Not everyone wants a huge bash with strippers and whatnot. I get the idea is "last night of freedom!" but that is so antiquated. We saw it as a way to celebrate with our friends before the big day, when we would be too busy to have any quality time with people.
For the last one, I agree she was being kinda dramatic but I also kinda empathize with her. I’m wondering why there was no prior discussion to what the party would be like and if she was up to it so that both she and the bride could decide if she wanted to be there. Like instead of forcing your friend who has no party-stamina to come along and risk ruining the night, just let her stay home and join you guys for breakfast. I also thought them gossiping about her was kinda Mean Girl-y. They’re adults. They could have told her to her face so she knew she wasn’t doing well.
Yeah, not a lot of sympathy for the bride. If she was really friends with the OP, she should've know they had social anxiety and didn't drink that much; why invite them? Especially if she's oversensitive enough that one person not being drunk enough would ruin her whole weekend.
100 agree with this
Rather than understanding they're not the type to enjoy this or checking in with eachother, they ignored her and almost singled her out, as if they kind of didnt like her from the beginning. No good frienshio would have such assumptions and shit communication. Reminds me of friendships the bullies formed when I used to go to school, they all only cared for themselves and their own fun and if one person had more issues or introverted, they were already disliked and criticised from the get go.
If I'm hosting something, I wanna make sure everyones OK even if they seem like a killjoy. Especially so. Because it means somethings up or there's a misunderstanding, or if they don't wanna be there I'll give them the out to go home.
If I want it to go well, I'll have to make sure it does so, because everyone I would invite are my friends and I understand they all have different personalities, likes, dislikes and needs.
It makes me grateful to have the friends I've had since high-school. My two best friends are so considerate of me and my fatigue and pain issues, weve worked on making sure we understand eachother and if someone didnt have a great time, well so be it, talk about it, make sure u understand eachother and then move on. Like literally easy as asking them "you OK?" When u get the chance
Fr
Free trip and being the center of attention yet again..BRIDEZILLA on isle 7.
It's especially mean to send a message AFTER the party. What could she do. Apologize and feel bad? What is the bride? 12? Whether say it to her face at the party or get over it. Plus if she was a nice friend she should have asked her if she wanted to leave and tell her it was okay.
I agree with most of the points except about water. It is important to drink that water. It gives you a bit of a break and allows for the party to last longer. Nothing wrong with taking a water break between drinks. Now, whether they accepted the suggestion is on them but it doesn't hurt to encourage a break to take stock and get that second wind.
I never understood the idea of the raunchy drunken Bachelorette party. My husband and I had a joint party the night before our wedding. All our young wedding guests and bridal party came over and we had a great game night with everyone. So much fun, an amazing memory of getting to hang out with everyone before our big day.
Ditto!
We did that too! It was so much fun
This is adorable!!! I wonder what the divorce rate is for the raunchy bachelor/bachelorette party groom and bride to be 🤣🤣🤣
Ours was on the same night but not a joint party. We rented a pool and had pizza and old 80s movies, him and his group went bowling and played pool for hours. Fun was had by all. It cost very little and no one had a terrible time.
I dont understand it either, but I think its because I dont find being shitfaced fun. I'd rather remember my night, but there are definitely ppl that enjoy drinking and being drunk. I'm just not one of those ppl.
as a vintage woman, I can't help but notice how insane weddings have become. in my day no parties were expected, just appreciated if they happened. a bridal shower was given by friends usually and still greatly appreciated instead of expected. for working families, it was common to have the shower in someone's living room. the expense and planning of weddings have just grown & grown over the years. bachelorette parties weren't even a thing for many years yet that one gal wants two??? so many rules and regulations! just have a girl's night out, geez. it's weird to me to start a marriage with a giant price tag and out of their mind brides. I'd rather use the $$$ on a down payment to a house instead of being a star for the day, that's hardly what marriage is about. I get wanting it pretty and all but it can be done w/o alienating everyone around you. ☮️
I am totally in love with the phrase "vintage woman ", and Bachelorette parties are supposed to be a reflection of the relationship between the bridal party. The best one I ever went to was a lovely meal followed by a monopoly tournament with spa treatments.
@@rebeccadawson6864 thanks. I struggled to define myself but "vintage woman" seemed to hit the spot for me. ☮️
I would be mortified to act so spoiled and entitled....these are the girls who screamed and cried and got what they wanted from their parents/grandparents their whole life, and now they think that's how they treat people to get what they want....if I'd acted like that as a kid OR adult, my family would've put me in my place real quick....SPOILED isn't a compliment, people....
@@thetanvan5833 i have noticed how the definition of spoiled has morphed...it used to be an insult but now people are actually proud of the label. of all the things i considered would change in my lifetime I never expected this kind ...like "alternative facts" - that one was a hoot!
@@lindaward3156 yes! These days if someone is speaking truth, they're treated like they're crazy......I'm glad I wasn't raised to be greedy or money focused (and I wasn't raised by ozzy and Harriet, believe me).....still, this sort of behavior is embarrassing to watch......
My husband and I actually had a combined bachelor's/bachelorettes party and we all went lazer-tagging. Was a blast and completely appropriate- no nudity needed! Not all parties before a wedding need to involve strippers and heavy drinking
I did 2 hen parties. One for the party animals, a pub crawl to the local night club. And the other was a meal in a restaurant for the ones who wanted chill and chat! 💚👍
@12:50 being introverted I would appreciate this. Knowing some is concerned about how everyone is feeling and has your back can make a world of difference. That friend is a good friend to have and clearly the bride doesn't understand them. It seems like maybe they weren't a good pick and that is on the bride. If you want a team of people who enjoy partying hard, pick those sort of people to be in the crew. If the wedding was the next day, making sure everyone stays well is important. Imagine how the bride would react if everyone looked bad in photos. I don't see her taking it well if showing concern over peoples well being was a problem.
I normally agree with you but the girl who was asking if anyone else wanted to go home that's absolutely okay. If some people seem off or sick or want to leave, it's okay to ask if they want to go home. Also getting trashed isn't the only objective for a bachelorette party. Those are my only two things.
I agree with you. And asking the bride to drink water is for her safety. She could easily get alcohol poisoning. Not good.
Yeah I agree on this one too. Shocked that so many people don’t!
I agree, too. As someone who has had to play mom/bodyguard to very drunk/sick friends and help them get out of bars safely without ending up in some stranger's car, I can sympathize with that person. It didn't sound like she was trying to ruin the night. If anything, with all the tattling/gossiping going on, she may need better friends.
You can't be everybody momma and you can't help everybody. They should've quit while they were ahead tbh
Agreed!! I thought that was very kind and empathetic of OP, and I thought it was good that she was looking out for and concerned about others.
Didn't the last girl mean she didn't want the shot but was forced to drink it even though it always made her sick and the other person was forced to drink it even though she did not have the capacity to say no to anything at that point? I think she meant compulsory shot instead of non consenting shot.
I think it was more that the person buying the round of shots didn't ask OP if she wanted one, didn't ask what type of shot she wanted (and as a result picked something that would make her sick), and from the sound of it was insistent that everyone take said shot. The other girl was in a state of inebriation that had her looking nauseous and like she might be well over the "safe" threshold of drunk, but when the OP had tried asking the other girls who looked exhausted/drunk to the point of sick/etc. if they maybe wanted to hang it up and do something a little less crazy, they all shot her down and continued getting plastered. I think "Non-consensual" isn't actually that far off a term here: nobody asked for the round of shots, OP didn't want one at all, particularly not the one she was given, "Girl B" wasn't in a good place to be having more alcohol and--judging by a general description of things--the whole group was drunk _well_ past the point where they could be considered as being in a mental state to consent to anything...on the one hand, it _was_ clearly compulsory, given that OP said she "shot it anyway", but it was also without her consent, and in a group who were in no fit mental state to be making such decisions.
I honestly wonder at the fact that the bartender kept serving this group. Usually, bartenders have a point where they start cutting people off, and it sounds like the rest of this party was well past the point where they should've been cut off, if not kicked out.
My friends and I did a 90’s themed old-fashioned sleepover for my bachelorette and it was AWESOME. We stayed up late, watched scary movies, drank some wine coolers, danced around to Britney Spears, and slept in sleeping bags. I got to re-live my childhood rather than party years, which was way more important to me and a blast. I honestly recommend this to anyone.
As someone who loves to read--but also struggles with following along throughout longer pieces of text--I appreciate the highlight animation, Charlotte. Thank you 💛
I find these hilarious. When my husband and I got married, we didn't even have a wedding party. No bridal shower. No bachelor or bachelorette party. We wanted our day to be about us, but simple and laid back. My parents graciously offered to pay for my dress, which cost $100, and I was over the moon with it. We got married at a park. It was lovely and had a party afterwards. Best day ever and even better, no debt.
❤ reminds me a lot of my wedding! However there was a sort of bachelor party. No big deal.
Got married by a judge on my husband's lunch hour. He wore his white drywall hangers clothes..I wore black leather jacket n black jeans.
Later that evening we put away a couple hundred bales of hay. A friend stopped with a joint and he stayed til the last bale went into the barn.
Thirty years later we're here. No fancy crap needed. ...just an " I love you" every day is good enough.❤️
That really sounds lovely. Weddings are over the top. Even mine which by nowadays standards was too much looking back.
We only had one attendant each as well so instead of bachelorette and bachelor parties we had one Jack and Jill party with all of our friends. It gave our out of town friends and our local friends a chance to meet. It was a low key and a really fun way to spend the evening after the rehearsal dinner with our families.
This is my dream wedding! I loathe being the center of attention. And I refuse to spend 50k on one day and one dress and so on. Give me my loved ones a beautiful day good food and drinks and let's have fun!
Being a medical provider, nothing is quite as sobering during a party as having to ensure someone is okay when they pass out drunk. I've had more than a few instances when I was enjoying myself (drunk or very very buzzed) alone or with my buddies, and something happens and I have to sober up in an instant to help someone, including: 1) Drunk young man with keys heading to his car; 2) Two girls (different occasions) passed out due to alcohol poisoning in a bar bathroom; 3) getting rid of a "handsy" man trying to take advantage of a very drunk girl who was NOT his GF, 4) threatening to beat a guy who shoulder blocked 2 girls dancing in an out of the way corner of the dance floor; 5) Taking care of a concussion and head wound after an individual fell off the barstool. I now just don't bother drinking in public, and offer myself as the DD instead. I'd rather just have a good time sober, than begin to have a great time and then get a buzz kill before the end of the night...and staying sober at least saves me some money 🤔
Look I'm no prude but personally I feel like having strippers at your bachelor/bachelorette party is borderline cheating if you're monogamous. I mean under regular circumstances, if I walked in and my boyfriend was getting a lap dance from a half naked woman, I'd end it on the spot. I also doubt he'd be happy if a half naked man was grinding on me. I truly don't understand how that behavior is considered normal right before you get married.
Supposed to be your last opportunity to cut loose before "the ball & chain". However the whole concept is dated as F..... most brides & grooms are hardly virginal and don't need to sow wild oats as they've probably been doing it already !
This is why I’m a big believer in small weddings among family and close friends. And nothing else
“Goody two shoes” isn’t an “attitude”, it’s a moral compass, and pushing someone to live outside of their own personal morals is horrible, not a good friend, and a huge red flag. Recognize we all have different morals, and disrespecting someone else’s and forcing your own on them is ignorant.
See, the thing is, I'm absolutely the killjoy. Anyone that is friends with me knows this and I'm very open about what I should and should not participate in. Do not invite me to a club. Do not invite me to a bachelorette party. Do not invite me to a strip club. IF I were at this party, which I wouldn't be because my friends would be kind enough to say "we know you don't want to come, no pressure to say no" I *would* be checking in with anyone that is unwell, or hanging with them if they wanted that. I *would* be saying no to any and all alcohol (a true friend would not offer it to me anyway), but I WOULD NOT be policing what others do as long as they were ultimately safe. Walking someone home, making sure they got back to their room, making sure they didn't fall or get taken advantage of by someone, etc. If you are a consenting adult it's absolutely not my place to enforce my own personal issues onto you and your fun time. I, and my husband, are*awful* at weddings, parties, anything where it's loud and people are drinking. When we attend, we leave early once the drinking starts if we can. Real friends know this will happen and no feelings get hurt. "Support" does not come from ruining someone's good time with your own issues. If you cannot "keep up" with the activities for whatever reason, excuse yourself, and plan an activity you can all enjoy together because if you're already friends you already have *something* in common to share.
Ugh, the one with the bride getting mad at "June" for not wanting to come to a strip club for the bachelorette is TA. If you're not the type of person who likes those things (or is repulsed by them like me) it's not a good time. It's great that June is so respectful of her husband! The bride does not need to be "supported" at a freaking strip club. She even offered to come enjoy the rest of the evening after the club event, which is perfectly diplomatic. Then the bride posts this on the internet with her feelings openly displayed and is soooo annoyed when June finds out about the post and is upset. I mean wha?
I may have been wild when single but once I commit to a man, I can't imagine going to a strip club. Also, I don't want to open THAT can of worms, where technically he SB allowed to go to a strip club, and we know how bad they try to get the guys to do stuff with them. NO strip clubs for anyone! If you want to go, then we are on a break, Ross', not Rachel's, definition of a break (from Friends if ppl DK that show-SHE said she wanted a break, meaning, some time apart, but he got very drunk and did the "hot girl in the copy place" all the guys lusted after, , and got caught by her.)
I was like 'what kind of support does she need in a strip club, exactly?' when I heard that part. I was just so speachless at this entire post.
@@indigoeye3874 I guess her ladies can support her on their shoulders if she's having trouble seeing the stage lol
And the husband knows about it too now...this ain't gonna be pretty!
So gonna give my two cents in on the last story, I both agree and disagree. Yes she was the A-hole for projecting her feelings on the other girls, but her not being able to drink a specific drink cause it makes her sick is kinda a valid concern. Also, a bunch of drunk girls at a bar spells trouble for alot of things. Though that could just be because me as some who has been through shit and pestered by my BFF to do things outside of my comfort zone could have me looking at it different. Also I get the idea of someone telling you to drink water comes off as bad, but again my head tends to go to worst case scenario and I would rather be sober in areas like bars and clubs and not shitfaced drunk. or at least have more then just one sober friend at the party. Again though that could just be becuase I look at it as worst case scenario and I want everyone to be safe.
Honestly looking out for the safety of everyone make her not the a hole. Too many people lost their lives to drunk drivers and drunk driving incidents
@@dakotakulha8376 Yeah not what I'm saying. In my original comment I even point this out that her trying to look out for them and help them sober them up isn't wrong for her to do. I am usually the sober person with my best friend too, I don't care for alcohol like she does. So I do sympathize with op on that. However, it is her attitude and the way she talks about her supposed friends that shows her as an Asshole. Lets actually go over some of what she did, Op tried shutting down someone else's party early, excused it as "gauging interest", got annoyed and rude when one of the bride's friends bought shots for everyone (something she could have absolutely turned down), and the last part where she was telling the bride to drink water. The way she also typed the list and her justification also shows her attitude to this whole event. She was arrogant, and gave a patronizing air to her. She was absolutely projecting her feelings on the other bridesmaids.
@@kcm7813 I see your point but she has validity to do that. We as a human species lost too many people due to alcohol influenced drivers or alcohol in general. She was doing what was best for everyone and that's to leave. Those girls were intoxicated and we all know that dangerous men lurk around in bars and such waiting to take advantage women who are incapable of consent to sexual activity. Can't be too careful nowadays
@dakotakulha8376 Again. I have pointed that out in my previous comment. But you also seem to only be hung up on the alcohol aspect of this. Again though she had the best of intentions. Op's attitude she's why she's the asshole as it's not her place to stop a party that is 1. Not her party, 2. She's not hosting, 3. Not for her, 4. To determine the feelings of someone else (effectively infantilizing her friend), 5. Talking down to her said friends. I agree that alcohol has hurt many people, however we also don't know how drunk these girls actually were. And judging by how op sees things and says things, how are we to know that op is even a reliable narrator. Especially when she calls shots bought by a friend, unconsensual. The question was also not if she was the ah for not liking alcohol and wanting her friends to sober up, the question was if she was the ah for being negative at a bachelorette party, which seeing her explanations she was. Again if it was just about wanting to sober up for their safety that would be very very different but it's not. In the end of all of this, I disagree with what Op did, not her intentions. Because there are better ways to bring these issues up with your friends, not just demeaning them and acting like she knows better then them.
@@kcm7813 To be honest, I see it from the perspective of the aftermath. If bride to be dies how will that make groom to be feel. OP's actions were based on safety and protection. I would rather have a friend like that than someone who doesn't do that and I end up dead on the side of the road. Just because it's a bachelorette party doesn't mean safety and well being goes out the window
Am I the only one who believes that us brides should be super thankful and like hella appreciative for everything our bridal party does to help make OUR day as special as it can be??
I really wanted to spoil them with a spa wknd over a bachelorette party because I have no desire to be with another man besides my husband nor do I have a need to have "one last hoopla" where I'm so drunk I inevitably make at least one bad decision I regret haha
I've never understood Bridezillas tho because yeah for me I'm just so thankful that my friends came tgthr and did everything they could to make it the most memorable night of my life ❤
Before the planning began for her bachelorette, my sister in law specifically told her sister (maid of honour) that she didn't want ANYTHING phallic or remotely 'sexual' during the event, as she was not comfortable with it and felt it was tacky. We had a weekend at the beach, a fancy lunch, a cider tasting, and played silly non-sexual bachelorette party games (like a bridal dress making challenge using toilet paper, etc.) it was so much fun. No one got wasted or caused any issues, and everyone remembered it the next day because no one got blackout drunk. You really don't need strippers and crazy amouts of alcohol to have fun, (but if that's your jam then go for it, you do you.) 🙂
What if June has had something traumatic happen in her past? She could be an abuse survivor. It's understandable if she'd want to keep that private. She doesn't owe any more explanation than she already gave. Also, it's nice that she doesn't want to be hypocritical in her marriage. That mutual respect June has with her husband sounds like something bridezilla could take a few notes from.
Charlotte: You get ONE day - the wedding.
Also Charlotte: This would NEVER fly at my bachelorette party. If the bride wants to throw up all over you, you sit there and take it.
😂🤣
But, Charlotte would know better than to insist a bridesmaid attend who didn’t like to go out and party.
I did Korean BBQ for my bachelorette & reading these stories makes me sooo happy I'm a boring person lol
me and my friends stayed in cos I'm boring as hell. it was like any other night. take out, movies and really big joints for me. I was happy as a pig in shit
Boring is good...no trouble 2 get one lol ur a good person I'm boring 2 but still have a fun time in life.
Right? i hung out with some family, my best friend, and my then fiance. Neither of us wanted anything more lavish or crazy. We ate, watched movies, and had a couple drinks. Got up the next morning and got married at the local courthouse with a small, intimate reception after. People are so crazy!
smart not boring..
Korean BBQ sounds epic
@@apriltaylor6607 im boring as hell..
worst i do is smoke weed at a empty beach...
mainly at home though cause i don't like people XD
I got married 20 years ago. We got married in the temple. (Free) We had the reception at my uncle's house (Also free, happens he had a mansion). My baby sister did my makeup. My mom and aunt made the food, served on china gifted to me after. My mom and aunt made my lovely bouquet. I had no official bridesmaids or a maid of honor. The total cost, including rings, food, cakes, bouquet, and my dress was $2,000. It was just family. We are still married now. My talented dad was the photographer. I never thought of "my day" or even thought of having a bachelorette party. My bridal shower was with friends and family at a friend's house. The day was about getting married, having fun, and celebrating with our families. I just remember being so grateful to everyone who pitched in and came.
Charlotte: "You get one day. ONE DAY."
Also Charlotte: "If the bride wants to get wasted and projectile vomit on all of you (on not her one day) then you all have to take it."
LMAO
When did she say so? I missed it!
You know what she meant come on.. you get ONE day to be all about you and ask certain things of your friends.. but if your friends happily throw you a bachelorette party, that's not an ask.. and if she wants to get drunk out of her mind, that's not an ask either, it's her choice, her body etc..
for the last story, I'm totally OP in that I would be asking others how they're doing and if they want to go back to the hotel. Not because it's necessarily how I'm feeling but because I genuinely don't want others to end up regretting things the next morning because I also know that I will be the first to say I told you so when you're fucked up the following more.
So yeah...don't invite me to your bachelorette party if it's going to be a drinking free for all.
So that last one kind of hurts me. I am autistic and have health issues that would not allow me to drink very much. So bad at reading social situations and can't really get trashed unless I want to be sick for the next three days. Someone with severe social anxiety would also be bad at reading social situations (because they're not in them often). Bride, if they're a good friend, should know these things about you already and given you the option to leave early without consequences or warned everyone else that you're not great at social interaction so if you seem like you're being a downer, you're really just trying to express concern in an awkward way. The buying of shots for everyone would also freak me out - I don't want someone to waste money on something that I can't drink and I would panic about making them feel bad or making them angry by refusing. OP stepped out of their comfort zone to try and be there for the bride likely because the bride wanted her there, regardless of OPs health issues or social anxiety. Again, if bride was a good friend, they shouldn't have been sulky and accusatory at someone who they likely knew would not be having fun.
I feel you. I'm not diagnosed (48, female, so duh) but I started studying autism a year and a half ago. My immediate thought was autism or social anxiety. It's too easy to push socially awkward people into situations that aren't right for them. The "I thought I did a good job, but..." hit a painful nerve. And then all those YTA comments on top of that.... It sucks that so many people don't understand each other. I love people and fear them. Always have, always will.
I guess I'm just old, but back in the day the bride had a shower, which was a really nice afternoon tea, where often cute games were played (like the old Tupperware games)and the bride put all the bows from the gifts onto her head (or made a hat out of them?). It was a pleasant event with the bride receiving a ton of napkins, tea towels and kitchen utensils! :)
That's still a thing. But the bachelorette party is a whole different thing.
I had a great bachelorette, for very little money. And we did a big party, basically every woman 21-45 who was invited to the wedding was invited out. We played some silly games & my friend wisely booked a room that came free if most of you ordered dinner, which was an inexpensive & legendary buffet. We had to walk about 15 mins more than I had hoped, but my friends saved big time on no rental fee & then we just bar hopped! We didn’t do any of the “sexy” stuff other than some raunchy gifts and no one got blackout drunk or ruined a relationship. Tbh we ate a lot of fried chicken at dinner lol, and couldn’t rage too long. Perfect night out with my girls, plus a little interlude where we met up with the guys, and canoodled while talking about how awesome our friends were, so I was shocked when 5 years later the whole thing started becoming “bride insists on a super expensive fantasy” and just a contest to see who could get the most $ from their friends. My 2005 event cost about 20% of the parties held in 2010-2012. And the sexual behavior started getting wayyyyyy more noticeable and problematic. Party buses are a bad idea imo, and suddenly girls were fighting over the drivers & hooking up in bathrooms & eewwwwwwwwww!
@ 6:59 - I do not agree that the bride should have no say in how her pre-wedding parties are planned. I am not saying the bride has a right to act like a spoiled, entitled brat. Just saying that you should give consideration to what the bride wants. For instance, if she's not into the whole club scene, or if she is uncomfortable with strippers, don't make her participate in that stuff. If you know her, you should have an idea of what she'd like. Maybe she wants a slumber party, a spa day, a trip to Mexico, a painting day, a craft day. Maybe a night at Dave and Buster's (like Chuckie Cheese, but for adults). Whatever it is, you should care about what the bride wants. It would be pretty messed up to plan something you know she wouldn't like for her.
Re: Lucy the round 2 bachelorette party, if I was in her shoes I can see wanting a reunion of some kind (once everything was safe) so we could all celebrate together since so many people couldn’t come, but she’s clearly just in it for the party. You don’t need another massive bash, and it’s really inconsiderate to demand that of people especially in light of the crashing economy. Reunion? Yes. Party? No, stop being greedy.
I think the worst part is it seemed somewhat implied she wanted it paying for too.
@@samuelwoods164 Agreed, that's why it would've been smart for them to respond, no, not now but let's go on a weekend trip together in a couple years. That would've clearly shown the bride's interest was it fun with friends or a free trip?
@@samuelwoods164 How is it implied not good at picking up on those things didn't it claim she wanted all her friends together and since when choosing to go out mean making someone else pay isn't expected that grow adults pay for themselves if anything isn't the one doing the inviting traditionally use to be the one treating someone offering in the moment is a nice gesture but not the norm. Th e girl that really wants the trip making people take off for work should be the one treating since them going during a time they can't really afford and she the one that clearly needs the girls out time
@@bunnyboo6295 It's implied, by what she's named it. Bachelorette party being paid for by the bridal party. If she is insinuating every girl pay for themselves she would have called it a vacation. Even if she called it an Anniversary Trip it would have suggested She's Paying for everyone.
@@bunnyboo6295 because she specifically wanted a 2nd bachelorette/Hen which the cost of the woman getting married is traditionally divided up among the women that attend.... if she said she wanted a holiday or trip with everyone who was invited to the bachelorette then it would be expected she would pay for herself.
I like this bridesmaid for standing by her principles, regardless of the peer pressure. She is not a follower, and that's a good thing..No judging the bride, but don't judge the bridesmaid either.
I'm so happy that in Italy there's no such things as bridemaids, groomsmen or bridal party. It sounds terribly stressfull 😵💫
It doesn't have to be. We rented a pool and got pizza and watched old John Hughes movies. My husband went bowling and played pool. Both events were light hearted, not expensive, and no stress. No strippers, no gifts expected, just fun with those we are close to. Not everyone makes it this major thing, only the really entitled selfish people who usually end up divorced but not before complicating everything by having kids to fight over.
Watching Charlotte at 14:03 say 'if I ever get married' after today's upload is just 🥹🥹🥹
To those who never had social anxiety:
Have you ever seen a caged wild cat, pasing around in their cage, eyes darting in every direction, hyper aware? That's how it feels for me at clubs and large social events. Your mind doesn't work as it usually does and you just want to escape and stop being SOOOO hyper anxious. Sometimes you can't because of "friends" like the OP had, who think that the only way to express your friendship is to put yourself in an extremely uncomfortable situation. Judging the last OP as an asshole just proves that people have no idea what social anxiety is or how debilitating it can be.
Omg Charlotte your hair color looks STUNNING ❤
Asking a "friend" to compromise their values for your entertainment is incredibly entitled. Sucks they were made to feel bad for having standards and values in their relationship. I'm a party girl, but I would support my "friends" boundaries and just be happy to have her after the strippers.
PS. Charlotte I Got My Petty Merch!! Love it too. Good quality.
As someone who doesn't drink at all (medical reasons and general dislike of alcohol), I really empathise with the last person. Personally, I would have just left, instead of forcing my feelings onto others. I have been to one hen do and she was, and still is, a close friend; when she and the rest of the group went clubbing, I went for a while and left after getting uncomfortable by the noise and alcohol. The friend understood because she's a good friend. I wished her a fun time, hugged and headed back to the hotel early. I wasn't the only person in the group who left; another non-drinker friend also left with me while the rest had a fun filled night. Perhaps due to my own experiences and anxiety, I feel the last person wasn't the AH - that no-one was and it was more of a miscommunication error.
No friend should be forced to do things they're uncomfortable with at any type of gathering or situation and if you are being forced to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps it's time to find better friends who respect your boundaries
Why do we need to accept someone getting sloppy drunk like it's meaningful? The bridal shower doesn't make you look any less stupid! Most places outside North America it's really frowned on if you get shitfaced on purpose.
I'm married for 42 years. My Bachelorette party was dinner at a Chinese restaurant with unending Mai Tais. We had a blast just enjoying each other's company. Our wedding was so much fun we had to extend it an hour. Even the band stayed for free. My dad paid $40 for extra liquor. It was at a country club & the waiters & waitresses joined in. I'd rather have a kick ass wedding than a stupid lame Bachelorette party. 👰♀️ 🤵
I've known people who are pushy as hell when it comes to alcohol and going out to party. Even if the OP of the last story had just kept to herself and turned down any shots she didn't want, she probably would have still been treated like a 'buzzkill'. If she had refused to go at all I'm sure she would have been pressured and guilt tripped about even more than it already seems like she had been.
No one is entitled to make anyone feel like shit for not wanting to get shit faced.
I really feel for the last girl. I feel like she was probably pressured to go even when she told them she didn't do that stuff normally!! I hate to burst your bubble but not everyone likes to stay out and party even if it is for a bachelorette party!!
However there was nothing stopping her from going home. Even if she was pressured into attending, she should have just left when she needed to-it gets especially easy when everyone is very intoxicated like it sounds was the case. She could have left and said she’d meet them for brunch or whatever was next instead of trying to persuade others to leave so she could feel it was acceptable for her to go too.
Edited to add: I forgot she mentioned having social anxiety. I realize this makes it harder for her to handle the social pressure but that still means she and the bride at least should have communicated if she couldn’t handle the pressure to stay and leave on her own without being given an “out”. People can’t be accommodating if they don’t know they need to be, but that said they could’ve been a lot nicer regardless of knowing the situation. There was no need to be catty.
I also feel like she was doing what she felt was best. None of it seemed to come out if an a-hole attitude, but a desire for what was best for everyone. She obviously isn't someone for nights out, and when she does, she's the one to make sure everyone gets home safe. Definitely not TA, but overdramatic, and assumed things about the night which was untrue. The "friends" seem somewhat a-holey though.
@@acrefray while I still get the impression she wanted others to leave too so she could feel better about going, I do agree with you that I think she meant to be coming from a caring place. It’s like u said though, she was making assumptions and given it isn’t her norm to “party hard” with these girls she should’ve worried about herself and let them be adults. You can be the “drunk mom” of the group without bringing people down and make sure everyone is safe.
@@acrefray oh and totally agree some of the friends def seem childish-talk to her face to face instead of tattling to the bride, it’s not middle school lol
@@acrefray I totally agree!!!
If a friend asked me to go to a strip joint for his stag party I’d politely decline the invitation. I’d be extremely uncomfortable, as much for the reason the strippers are often there as much for the nudity.
And your friend should not put up a fuss about it and accept it! I can't believe that lady saying her friend wasn't "supporting her" just because she wouldn't go to something like THAT. wtf
@@danielleking262 agreed!! Everyone has different likes, dislikes, things they're OK with and boundaries.
Forcing a friend to come with you even if u make them uncomfortable is not even something that crosses my mind as a friend. Tf
@@danielleking262 exactly who needs support to see a stripper 🤦♀️
Tbf last one is kind of messy. Yes, she probably should have not bothered "gauging" if people wanted to take the party back "home"/end it early and rather just left if she didn't want to stay. Then again it seems like the Bride was diving headfirst into just getting black out drunk during the bachelorette. Having fun is one thing, but to get that drunk speaks volumes. Like ya got issues and maybe should see a therapist lol OP probably knows her limits, has done the "drunk" phase and has moved onto better ways to handle & enjoy her life. I'm sure my old friends would consider me a "party pooper", but that's why we arn't friends anymore lol
I was my sister-in-law’s MOH, but she ended up asking me if I’d give up the MOH position to another bridesmaid that very desperately wanted it. I was busy with college, a job, and an internship so I understand her wanting someone that was able to be more involved. I wasn’t upset at all but what did make me a lil peeved for the bride was her bachelorette party. (Back when I was MOH) I was trying to figure out what my SIL wanted for her party. She told me she’d have a lot of fun spending the day at a nearby amusement park. So I bought myself and bride tickets. I told the rest of the bridesmaids the plan and told them they might wanna buy their tickets online ahead of time. No one did and a lot of the bridesmaids said they couldn’t go. The bride asked me if I’d invite one of my friends so that there’d be more people coming. The morning before leaving for the amusement park the bride’s cousin (the only other bridesmaids going besides me) bailed because she didn’t want to have to drive to the bride’s house early in the morning. So my SIL, me, and my friend all went for the day. When we came back suddenly all her bridesmaids were texting her saying they were going to bring alcohol to the bride’s house and spend the night drinking. (Note: the bride and all of her bridesmaids except me and one other were younger than 20) I didn’t care if they wanted to drink because I get wanting to party but what I thought was crappy was that all her bridesmaids had ditched her, but suddenly when there was drinking involved they were all available. I didn’t stay for the “after party” because after spending the entire day running around an amusement park I was tired af. Funny thing is I don’t think my SIL even talks to her MOH anymore…
I have been invited to a few bachelorette parties. One was in Las Vegas. I declined. One was dressing the bride up and walking around Los Angeles with a list of things she had to do and strangers she had to interact with. Then we took her to a fancy restaurant. One was just an ordinary dinner and a movie. One was hanging out at Disneyland and dinner at one of the Disneyland hotels so more ladies could join in without having to pay admission to the theme park. I like tuning in to Charlotte's videos, but I doubt we would be real-life friends.
Did I know that my friend was going to horribly ill from drinking mimosas (in a gigantic sippy cup btw) for LITERALLY OVER 20 HOURS on our last vacation together? Yes. Did I tell her to switch drinks to try to protect her? Yes, but only once. After that we all just put our hands up and said "you go girl".
She got vitamin C poisoning and spent the next day puking and pooping her brains out. She knew EXACTLY who's fault it was. No harm to our friendship, she did it "her way", and now we all get to laugh about it on our next vacation instead of losing a friend!
honestly, I sympathized with the girl in the last scenario but her execution was poor. I am also an introverted and not a drunken party animal at the drop of a dime kinda person either. i prefer fun activities instead of drinking for no reason. But I have been accidentally agreed upon or dragged into such situations where i just have to play along and not risk ruining things for everyone, usually they even guilt me into "get out of your comfort zone" too. However, if they are people you are close to or care about, it's what you'd do for a short period. Then you could invite them to do something that you want to do and it's totally different from just drinking and drinking and see if they are down to go along or ruin things for you. If they do ruin things for you, then go ahead and dump that one dimensional excuse of a human being.
I’m the same way, but tbh she. She said “non-consensual drinks” it made me kinda mad. She didn’t have to drink it and the other girl is free to make her own choices. At the end of the day she’s an adult and she has to have her own backbone. It felt like she was making herself out to be more of a victim than she was.
@@athenarocks7657 yes! Someone brought you a drink, there is no rule that says you have to drink it. It's so much easier if you are buying a round to just go grab something that most people drink for everyone than finding out who wants one and what they want. You don't like what you got fine, give it to someone else 🤷♀️
I went to the bachelorette party of two of my dearest friends when they got married. For one we went to the Hamam (Turkish bathhouse) and had massages, lounged in the hot room and has lots of fruit and mint tea 😌 So relaxing. The other we went to do an escape room which was so much fun too and a tapas dinner after ☺️ Strippers for your bachelorette party is just so tacky and yes it would make me super uncomfortable too 😑
Both of those sound super awesome! I'd have loved to go to those "parties!"
It was interesting watching this video to see the notion that ‘the bride gets one day’. In Indian weddings there are several events (engagement, haldi, sangeet, mehendi, etc). of which some are mandatory so the bride gets several days :)
In the US & some other countries, wedding dress shopping is often an event for the bride and some family or close friends. It is at least a couple hours if not whole day, depending on how lavish or much fun the bride wants to make it. If it were me, I'd at least feed my crew before, so they weren't hangry while judging me in dresses. And we'd probably need a drink (booze or not) afterwards, to decompress.
My bachelorette party started with LaserTag. Two of the girls said from the start that they would prefer to join after since LaserTag is not for them and one good friend of mine excused herself from it because she was sleep deprived due to heartbreak. All three of them joined later for dinner and we had a fun night and I had fun at LaserTag with my friends who actually wanted to play. No big deal. People (normally) are not trying to personally attack you if they don't want to join a certain activity that you chose.
A friend of mine worked a very popular drag club. One of the men guests accidently bumped one of the dancers during the opening. During the show, they made a point of taking his glasses off and kissing them. Both lenses were COVERED in red, sticky goo as payback. DONT PISS OFF A DRAG QUEEN!!
All of these posts just make me more grateful for my SIL. She invited me to be in her wedding party and then completely understood when I said I couldn't go to the bachelorette party because I was in college (still am) and had a lot of work to do, along with the fact I didn't have my own car at that time. I was later able to make it to the rehearsal dinner no problem and then attended the wedding and had a great time.
Bridezillas are so freaking crazy.
This is the first channel I’ve ever immediately subscribed to and just binged for hours. You’re so entertaining, love your personality
omgosh i thought it was only me 🤭
Charlotte's a hoot! And a fellow Canadian to boot!
@@louisejohnson6057 look at you rhyming and whatnot! 😉
Miss Charlotte is the best thing you’ll find on the interwebs! And I’m including all the cute puppy and kid videos.
Omg. So did I! I did find out that I'd actually seen her on another channel before finding her channel; she was on "top 10 central ". That's where I saw her first.
I completely relate to woman in the last story. I wouldn't know what to do with myself at a wild, drunken bachelorette party either.
Last story, I actually think the bride should have known and had an honest convo with OP on Bach party. If you never party with that one friend and suddenly ask them to, knowing full well their personality , then she kinda brought it on herself. You can’t force people to be who they’re not