In a different interview (WIRED TECH) she explains, once you have gone through 5-9 people, stop there. Don't scroll for more. Try to get to know at least one. She is talking about how apps these days (like tinder) allow you to see many people just by swiping left and right. This "binging" is not a good thing, since your brain doesn't even registrate them anymore after 9 people. This is why some people tend to give on online dating or have an negative view on it. (Edit: I just realized this comment is 3 years old. I'm sorry!)
This is hardly a revelation. People with common sense have learned that sex too early clouds our judgement and we often miss major red flags. By the same token marriage before sex is just absurd. People need to be sexually compatible otherwise you’re nothing more than friends, co-habiting.
Agreed, I realized this in my teens before I had sex/relationships by noticing what happened with others and often not in accordance with my mother's conversations on love, and marriage. By the time I was in my 30s I knew men/women in my age and into their 80s that were in unhealthy and unrewarding relationships. My 80+ friend couple told me that their only life regret would be not having the strength to separate because everyone including their two daughters did not accept that they deserved to find happiness. I cried on my drive home.
No, sex prior to marriage and especially living together leads to higher levels of divorce. If the sex takes place with a commitment to each other prior to marriage, this is not so much an issue. The more sexual and romantic experience prior to marriage also leads to less happy marriages and a greater risk of divorce. The fewer partners a person has had prior to marriage, the more likely the couple is to have a happy marriage. By the way, you can tell a lot about your sexual compatibility from kissing and fondling without intercourse of any sort.
Actually a lot of research shows just the opposite of what this woman says. Couples who cohabitate before marriage are much more likely to divorce after marriage.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!! Helen Fisher has gone off the rails on this advice. I can't believe that she is not aware of the research on "Sliding vs. Deciding."
Whats your evidence on this? Shes one of the preeminate researchers, and shes quoting her data. Shes not making assumptions based on personal opinion, shes detached and observing what the truth of peoples lives show, as repeated human patterns of behaviour. And, shes shown that certain human behaviours lead to the happiest and most stable of humans. Who wouldnt want to learn from and make use of that evidence to inform their sound choices. If you have other evidence, from equally rigorous and repeated and large scale studies, with truely impartial results, then Id like to hear those too, and learn from those as well. Its not very helpful if your just sharing opinion without any reasoning or evidence to back it up. Assumptions are not a useful way to live the most healthy happy life.
No I don’t think so. We are actually just more patient to wait for what works for us. A woman is more self confident as she ages so she’s less likely to rush into anything that isn’t fulfilling. We have a definite of purpose. Sadly, men go the opposite direction, many have low self esteem and target women young enough to be their daughters. There are a few who aren’t that way, it’s about finding those men. That takes time and patience. I had the most relationships when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, because my boundaries were nonexistent and I was afraid to be alone. That’s no longer the case.
And the later they wait and the more failed relationships on the way as they pick and choose, the less likely they will have a happy marriage if and when they do marry. The more partners a person has prior to marriage, the less likely that the couple will have a happy marriage.
Look at her other research. It clearly describes why there is a longer courting process nowadays. Its sensible for a woman to be picky about who she spends her precious life with. She is a precious gift.
It’s hard to talk to more than one woman. 5-7? No, one at time until I find the right person.
In a different interview (WIRED TECH) she explains, once you have gone through 5-9 people, stop there. Don't scroll for more. Try to get to know at least one. She is talking about how apps these days (like tinder) allow you to see many people just by swiping left and right. This "binging" is not a good thing, since your brain doesn't even registrate them anymore after 9 people. This is why some people tend to give on online dating or have an negative view on it.
(Edit: I just realized this comment is 3 years old. I'm sorry!)
This is hardly a revelation. People with common sense have learned that sex too early clouds our judgement and we often miss major red flags. By the same token marriage before sex is just absurd. People need to be sexually compatible otherwise you’re nothing more than friends, co-habiting.
Agreed, I realized this in my teens before I had sex/relationships by noticing what happened with others and often not in accordance with my mother's conversations on love, and marriage. By the time I was in my 30s I knew men/women in my age and into their 80s that were in unhealthy and unrewarding relationships. My 80+ friend couple told me that their only life regret would be not having the strength to separate because everyone including their two daughters did not accept that they deserved to find happiness. I cried on my drive home.
No, sex prior to marriage and especially living together leads to higher levels of divorce. If the sex takes place with a commitment to each other prior to marriage, this is not so much an issue. The more sexual and romantic experience prior to marriage also leads to less happy marriages and a greater risk of divorce. The fewer partners a person has had prior to marriage, the more likely the couple is to have a happy marriage.
By the way, you can tell a lot about your sexual compatibility from kissing and fondling without intercourse of any sort.
Actually a lot of research shows just the opposite of what this woman says. Couples who cohabitate before marriage are much more likely to divorce after marriage.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!! Helen Fisher has gone off the rails on this advice. I can't believe that she is not aware of the research on "Sliding vs. Deciding."
Lol Damian Lillard and his soon to be ex wife Kay'la
Whats your evidence on this? Shes one of the preeminate researchers, and shes quoting her data.
Shes not making assumptions based on personal opinion, shes detached and observing what the truth of peoples lives show, as repeated human patterns of behaviour. And, shes shown that certain human behaviours lead to the happiest and most stable of humans. Who wouldnt want to learn from and make use of that evidence to inform their sound choices.
If you have other evidence, from equally rigorous and repeated and large scale studies, with truely impartial results, then Id like to hear those too, and learn from those as well.
Its not very helpful if your just sharing opinion without any reasoning or evidence to back it up. Assumptions are not a useful way to live the most healthy happy life.
I respect Dr. Fisher. She is my role Model
HOOK UP CULTURE is what it is
as it is today, which is a little bit unfortunate
We need to go back in time-Anthropologist Margaret Mead has the real scoop.
❤❤❤
Find a wife overseas or one not poisoned by what we call "feminism" today.
Sorry, I am from oversea and a feminist and married to a man since 25 hapoy years.
Gotta sift through seas of bitter men
hope you'll go to an island overseas where there's no women. boom! no more feminism!
If that’s the case then why are a majority of women still single well into their 40’s? Picky perhaps???
No I don’t think so. We are actually just more patient to wait for what works for us. A woman is more self confident as she ages so she’s less likely to rush into anything that isn’t fulfilling. We have a definite of purpose. Sadly, men go the opposite direction, many have low self esteem and target women young enough to be their daughters. There are a few who aren’t that way, it’s about finding those men. That takes time and patience. I had the most relationships when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, because my boundaries were nonexistent and I was afraid to be alone. That’s no longer the case.
And the later they wait and the more failed relationships on the way as they pick and choose, the less likely they will have a happy marriage if and when they do marry. The more partners a person has prior to marriage, the less likely that the couple will have a happy marriage.
Look at her other research. It clearly describes why there is a longer courting process nowadays. Its sensible for a woman to be picky about who she spends her precious life with. She is a precious gift.
@@elspethfougere9683 and the man is not? this story was five years ago and women are STILL finding themselves lonely and single in 2024!
This woman is delusional. Quality men don't marry "independent" 30+ women.
Are you implying that quality men marry "dependent" 20+ gold diggers?
She’s a scientist and bases everything on experiments, observations and research… go fight with your shadow.
@@andrijadzonic4907 This!
@@andrijadzonic4907 as a quality man myself, we would much rather have a 20y/o dependent woman than a 30/yo independent one
@Swarnim Raj VERMA -BTWIN VILLAGE LILLE- i went thru about as much trama as Leonardo Dicaprio I guess?