Dr. Ham, everytime I listen to an interview with you, I understand more what it looks like to be connected to another person while exploring trauma. I have a wonderful therapist, but I have struggled with how to process things togther with her. I've been talking at her, not with her. Just watching you is showing me how to slow down and see what comes up authentically, and that is such a gift. Thank you. ❤
I am sooo grateful that FINALLY there are decent trauma therapists out there that don’t throw around ridiculous diagnosis’s. We already feel terrible for what we went thru that causes us to have CPTSD. Mental health facilities are the worst. They think that treating someone with hard core drugs that it will help it does nothing more than mask the problem. The health care system is failing the people. We need trained compassionate trauma therapists for our vets and those who have suffered abuse in childhood and later. I grateful for all the trauma summits and the opening of healing doors.
Maybe the diagnoses are a functional expression of generations of CPTSD, making ourselves into sick and helpless people who need something/someone outside of themselves to heal.
Jacob and Rick must be two of the most humble giants I've ever seen. Please do bring them together, Forrest! And thank you for being willing to lay aside the interviewer ego so that through you we get some of the experience of going in the room with Dr Ham. Thank you
Holy shit this dude is onto it. IMO, the best way to be a good therapist is to get good therapy. Trauma is not some "issue to solve." It is just a part of us that we can change our relationship to so that we can change how we relate to the world.
This feels beautifully human. Thank you both. This interview pulled me in. I felt my body listening. It's like tasting a feast I've hungered for forever.
"I felt my body listening" - beautifully put and so accurate, felt the same but couldn't express it the way you did. This was the best interview/session I have ever witnessed. I think anybody who watched and listened feels a little bit more hopeful and a bit healthier. I'm so grateful to Stephanie Foo for introducing us to Dr. Ham.
Loved the talk; Thanks much for hosting this. Appreciated Forrest giving Dr Ham speak through tough topics without interruption. Loved Dr. Ham walking through the topic and help understand how Trauma affects individuals.
Listening to this conversation is so confirming for me. As an HSP, I feel things immensely. From my experiences in therapy, I'm often left feeling let down and further traumatised. I love when the Dr. talked about rituals. I agree that in humanity, we have lost this ability to sit and be present on the journey of another person's pain. Too many times, we feel so alone. Mainstream therapy is so cold and is compartmentalised, as if therapists remain isolated and cannot allow contamination from the client. So many therapists are truly afraid to do the deep dive and to be fully present in another's pain. Its almost as if clients have leprosy and God forbid the therapists get too close and be consumed. I dont think many therapist's want to even do this. At the end of the day, so many of us traumatised people have been experiencing things way out of our abilities, understanding and we continue to survive through life STILL not knowing. All we ever needed was for someone to see, bear witness and to confirm our pain and humanity. Most therapists I have had, don't even want to go there. And so I continue to carry this spikey ball of pain through each and every year I breathe. Remaining the same. 😑
As a therapist, I agree my field sucks! It's really awful that so many therapists don't take the work seriously, which means, take THEIR personal work seriously enough so they can develop into humans that can hold the space for people. In my experience, I'd say the ratio of competent therapists is somewhere between 1 in 100 and 1 in 1000. Finding someone that can do the work can be life changing, but it can be a disaster of retraumatization experimenting with therapists along the way.
Omg the dialogue at 1:01:11 made me cry. Isn't that what our soul often craves? If not with others, also with ourselves. This was a blessing to be able to part of this podcast and be on the journey with you
I would be so blessed to ever have an opportunity to have a session with (if not him) someone as extremely profound and in tune as Jacob Ham. I really hope that he does write a book.. Even though what he is, I feel can’t be taught. It should still be shared to as many as are willing to absorb it. I could (and have) listen(ed) to hours of his content. Everyone’s story is unique and everyone deserves to be heard. Without even meeting, I feel like Jacob understands mine.
What he really talks about is being a compassionate witness. When I first shared my pain from being raped with my therapist, she sat there in different. I felt so unseen lost I think it retraumatized me to finally feel vulnerable enough to share, and to be left hanging with no compassion. I think the guy from IFS talks about that as well like where therapists are trained to be this blank slate when in reality what trauma survivors need is a compassionate witness, like this man.
I'm so grateful to have come across this person, at a time when I'm really trying to get to grips with a whole heap of accumulated trauma. His compassionate approach has made me realise what I most need is not to intellectually search for some master key to understand all my obstacles and behaviours, but recognition and compassion. Thank you!
@@JacobHamPhD I will look forward to reading it! I'm sure it will be an invaluable resource. And I'll also be taking up a notebook and writing my stories at the same time. I've come to see all the trauma not as something to be tucked away and hidden or solved and got over, but something that needs air and that can be harnessed in beautiful ways. I really connected with what you say about art and creativity too. Thank you for replying and happy writing!
I tend to be super striving, like what steps 1-3 i need to do. This video taught me to experience the process and surrender more. It feels more freeing. Such a superb exchange!
Thanks for bring art to science and thanks for sharing your work. Huge impact and very validating as I move through my healing journey. Love and health to you and yours.
I am listening to Stephanie’s audiobook and in it she shares the audio of some of the snippets from her sessions with Dr. Ham. He’s kind but not passive, he digs in 🙏
Dr. Ham is so introspective and kind I have a sweet therapist like him and who is vegan like me so he understands my dark pain over the millions of animals daily tortured every day 😞💚🙏 And his glasses are so shiny and clear; I can’t keep mine clear.
❤THANK YOU❤ SO GRATEFUL to finally and authentically heal Traumas. For it is Not something that should be classified, labled,diagnosed, pushed aside, medicated, discarded, ignored , silenced , nor disrespected❤ GRATEFUL 2 FINALLY learn how to heal authentically 1 loss,1 heartbreak, 1 hurt at a time.
I agree that to be a good trauma therapist you don’t have to be traumatized in the past yourself, but to be a GREAT trauma therapist you do. You have to know it from the inside, just like a basketball coach that has never played basketball will be limited no matter how astute their observational abilities.
Wow all this sounds great. How muxh for his therapy? Yes, my trauma is showing. The priveledge are the only ones that can afford this type of therapy. The rest of us have to navigate around self help books and or cookie cutter therapist of whom Dr. Ham states does not work.
I remember encountering the word "reification" in high school and it took me more than a decade to truly have a grasp of that in a lived sense. Jacob's frustration really gives credibility and honesty to his practice and avoiding the all-too intellectual seduction of western culture. I wonder how Jacob would teach or explain what it is to "reify" to young people, and hey why not throw in "phenomenology" as well.
Can we make a directory of psychiatrists like this one? I’ve been asking my psychiatrist for this exact thing and have been put in a box which leads to this process taking wayyyy longer than it should. I also see things in paintings. Really makes me angry that I can’t have this. I also think that psychiatrists should go one step further and have physical contact with certain patients, without the fear of it turning into anything weird. (That goes for both parties)
i love Dr Jacob.. as a cis gay man and human.. going to ur therapy sessions (even if im in indonesia right now)... is one of my delusional fantasies haha. thank you for being human, dr Jacob
I started writing a comment but it turned into an unconstructive soap box rant. Not because I didn't enjoy listening and find the podcast interesting...more to do with conveyor belt medicine and wishing that a lot of Therapists would realise things like "closure" or more one person's concept misaligned to the experiences and reality of another person living or having living through particular events or situations. Just put my foot through the soap box!
Really disliked this interviewer. He seemed shallow, super smarmy, and just had to announce that he had a zero ACES score. Thanks, dude, you made me feel so great about myself. 🙄
i just watch this interview and honestly u are one of the few that are able to hold our pain. thank u and u are far and few between. and gets it. of i dont need resource or bounderies or stuff i need u to be present and there. and authentic. not some training bs.
I wish there were more therapists like Dr. Jacob Ham in the world. He is incredibly gifted.
Right? I want to talk to him so much........
Dr. Ham, everytime I listen to an interview with you, I understand more what it looks like to be connected to another person while exploring trauma. I have a wonderful therapist, but I have struggled with how to process things togther with her. I've been talking at her, not with her. Just watching you is showing me how to slow down and see what comes up authentically, and that is such a gift. Thank you. ❤
Yes! This is the way.
Loved doing this with you Jacob!
I loved reading about your work on CPTSD in Stephanie Foo’s book, Dr. Ham!!
I am sooo grateful that FINALLY there are decent trauma therapists out there that don’t throw around ridiculous diagnosis’s. We already feel terrible for what we went thru that causes us to have CPTSD. Mental health facilities are the worst. They think that treating someone with hard core drugs that it will help it does nothing more than mask the problem. The health care system is failing the people. We need trained compassionate trauma therapists for our vets and those who have suffered abuse in childhood and later. I grateful for all the trauma summits and the opening of healing doors.
Maybe the diagnoses are a functional expression of generations of CPTSD, making ourselves into sick and helpless people who need something/someone outside of themselves to heal.
Jacob and Rick must be two of the most humble giants I've ever seen. Please do bring them together, Forrest! And thank you for being willing to lay aside the interviewer ego so that through you we get some of the experience of going in the room with Dr Ham. Thank you
Holy shit this dude is onto it.
IMO, the best way to be a good therapist is to get good therapy.
Trauma is not some "issue to solve." It is just a part of us that we can change our relationship to so that we can change how we relate to the world.
Wow, your last statement is really powerful. Makes me think about things differently.
This feels beautifully human. Thank you both. This interview pulled me in. I felt my body listening. It's like tasting a feast I've hungered for forever.
"I felt my body listening" - beautifully put and so accurate, felt the same but couldn't express it the way you did. This was the best interview/session I have ever witnessed. I think anybody who watched and listened feels a little bit more hopeful and a bit healthier. I'm so grateful to Stephanie Foo for introducing us to Dr. Ham.
Dr. Ham, you are a gift to us. Your honesty, your presence, you altruistic kindness is visceral. Blessings to you. THANK YOU!
Loved the talk;
Thanks much for hosting this.
Appreciated Forrest giving Dr Ham speak through tough topics without interruption.
Loved Dr. Ham walking through the topic and help understand how Trauma affects individuals.
I just love Dr. Ham so much... He just brings me genuine joy by being himself. He helps me by being himself. ❤❤❤
Listening to this conversation is so confirming for me. As an HSP, I feel things immensely. From my experiences in therapy, I'm often left feeling let down and further traumatised. I love when the Dr. talked about rituals. I agree that in humanity, we have lost this ability to sit and be present on the journey of another person's pain. Too many times, we feel so alone. Mainstream therapy is so cold and is compartmentalised, as if therapists remain isolated and cannot allow contamination from the client. So many therapists are truly afraid to do the deep dive and to be fully present in another's pain. Its almost as if clients have leprosy and God forbid the therapists get too close and be consumed. I dont think many therapist's want to even do this. At the end of the day, so many of us traumatised people have been experiencing things way out of our abilities, understanding and we continue to survive through life STILL not knowing. All we ever needed was for someone to see, bear witness and to confirm our pain and humanity. Most therapists I have had, don't even want to go there. And so I continue to carry this spikey ball of pain through each and every year I breathe. Remaining the same. 😑
As a therapist, I agree my field sucks! It's really awful that so many therapists don't take the work seriously, which means, take THEIR personal work seriously enough so they can develop into humans that can hold the space for people. In my experience, I'd say the ratio of competent therapists is somewhere between 1 in 100 and 1 in 1000. Finding someone that can do the work can be life changing, but it can be a disaster of retraumatization experimenting with therapists along the way.
Omg the dialogue at 1:01:11 made me cry. Isn't that what our soul often craves? If not with others, also with ourselves. This was a blessing to be able to part of this podcast and be on the journey with you
thank you...
I would be so blessed to ever have an opportunity to have a session with (if not him) someone as extremely profound and in tune as Jacob Ham.
I really hope that he does write a book.. Even though what he is, I feel can’t be taught. It should still be shared to as many as are willing to absorb it.
I could (and have) listen(ed) to hours of his content.
Everyone’s story is unique and everyone deserves to be heard.
Without even meeting, I feel like Jacob understands mine.
This is my second time watching this through and taking notes. And it certainly won't be the last.
Such accessible thoughts on clinging! And process superceding the more explicit. Thank you!
... my clumsy wording, but hope gist gets through.
What he really talks about is being a compassionate witness. When I first shared my pain from being raped with my therapist, she sat there in different. I felt so unseen lost I think it retraumatized me to finally feel vulnerable enough to share, and to be left hanging with no compassion. I think the guy from IFS talks about that as well like where therapists are trained to be this blank slate when in reality what trauma survivors need is a compassionate witness, like this man.
Where do I find my own group of friends like Dr Ham? I’m down for everything just need people like this for pizza night :)
Well said. I will bring the cole slaw & pitcher of tea.
I'm so grateful to have come across this person, at a time when I'm really trying to get to grips with a whole heap of accumulated trauma. His compassionate approach has made me realise what I most need is not to intellectually search for some master key to understand all my obstacles and behaviours, but recognition and compassion. Thank you!
Exactly! I hope you reach the same conclusion from the book I’m working on and feel like you’re closer and closer to this recognition and compassion
@@JacobHamPhD I will look forward to reading it! I'm sure it will be an invaluable resource. And I'll also be taking up a notebook and writing my stories at the same time. I've come to see all the trauma not as something to be tucked away and hidden or solved and got over, but something that needs air and that can be harnessed in beautiful ways. I really connected with what you say about art and creativity too. Thank you for replying and happy writing!
I tend to be super striving, like what steps 1-3 i need to do. This video taught me to experience the process and surrender more. It feels more freeing. Such a superb exchange!
Beautiful conversation!
Thank you for your video. I think I need to listen to it again and again to get better the meaning of what you all have said.
Thanks for bring art to science and thanks for sharing your work. Huge impact and very validating as I move through my healing journey. Love and health to you and yours.
Your work is so inspiring and healing. Please write a book or post more videos
This was a beautiful discussion.
What I wouldn't do to offer my Brain & experiences up to science @Dr.Ham 🎉❤😊
Ohhh I would love if you posted a video on the relationship between presence/awareness and goal oriented behavior.
This deeply touched my soul. I have just shared it with all my friends, Dr Ham, please keep sharing your gift with the world
I am listening to Stephanie’s audiobook and in it she shares the audio of some of the snippets from her sessions with Dr. Ham.
He’s kind but not passive, he digs in
🙏
Love this one!! Tyvm ❤
Thank you so much for this
Dr. Ham is so introspective and kind
I have a sweet therapist like him and who is vegan like me so he understands my dark pain over the millions of animals daily tortured every day
😞💚🙏
And his glasses are so shiny and clear; I can’t keep mine clear.
The Schiele book behind you! How appropriate.
❤THANK YOU❤ SO GRATEFUL to finally and authentically heal
Traumas. For it is
Not something that should be classified, labled,diagnosed, pushed aside, medicated, discarded, ignored , silenced , nor disrespected❤ GRATEFUL 2 FINALLY learn how to heal authentically 1 loss,1 heartbreak, 1 hurt at a time.
19:30 thank you 🙏♥
I agree that to be a good trauma therapist you don’t have to be traumatized in the past yourself, but to be a GREAT trauma therapist you do. You have to know it from the inside, just like a basketball coach that has never played basketball will be limited no matter how astute their observational abilities.
34:19 Sapolski Behave (Anger)
Wow all this sounds great. How muxh for his therapy? Yes, my trauma is showing. The priveledge are the only ones that can afford this type of therapy. The rest of us have to navigate around self help books and or cookie cutter therapist of whom Dr. Ham states does not work.
I remember encountering the word "reification" in high school and it took me more than a decade to truly have a grasp of that in a lived sense. Jacob's frustration really gives credibility and honesty to his practice and avoiding the all-too intellectual seduction of western culture. I wonder how Jacob would teach or explain what it is to "reify" to young people, and hey why not throw in "phenomenology" as well.
Can we make a directory of psychiatrists like this one?
I’ve been asking my psychiatrist for this exact thing and have been put in a box which leads to this process taking wayyyy longer than it should.
I also see things in paintings.
Really makes me angry that I can’t have this.
I also think that psychiatrists should go one step further and have physical contact with certain patients, without the fear of it turning into anything weird. (That goes for both parties)
Is EMDR help to start healing from complex ptsd. Or is talk therapy best.. is online help as effective as in person. Thank you Karen
i love Dr Jacob.. as a cis gay man and human.. going to ur therapy sessions (even if im in indonesia right now)... is one of my delusional fantasies haha. thank you for being human, dr Jacob
❤
Wow! Authenticity at its finest... Thank you all the way from from Adelaide, Australia. 🦘
A healthy attached person can be human w another. He knows differentiation, Our potential.
Attachment trauma hijacks
What is pengulita?
The US won’t leave Seoul? What is his point there?
Im not sure I follow exactly what his therapy approach is.
Love Stephanies book though
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
hopefully no one asked this but what type of monk were you going to be....christian or buddhist
I started writing a comment but it turned into an unconstructive soap box rant. Not because I didn't enjoy listening and find the podcast interesting...more to do with conveyor belt medicine and wishing that a lot of Therapists would realise things like "closure" or more one person's concept misaligned to the experiences and reality of another person living or having living through particular events or situations.
Just put my foot through the soap box!
We need to clone this trauma therapist…
I found Ham infuriating at times. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Or is it? 🤔
Really disliked this interviewer. He seemed shallow, super smarmy, and just had to announce that he had a zero ACES score. Thanks, dude, you made me feel so great about myself. 🙄
i just watch this interview and honestly u are one of the few that are able to hold our pain. thank u and u are far and few between. and gets it. of i dont need resource or bounderies or stuff i need u to be present and there. and authentic. not some training bs.