Angry people are nice?

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 112

  • @tg_ny
    @tg_ny 2 місяці тому +19

    It’s called a threshold. You give people the benefit of doubt, keep a positive attitude, hoping that somebody puts your shoes on once in a while to see what life has been like for you. For some of us, this doesn’t lead to an outburst of anger, just severe burnout and depression which leads one to just want to live life alone and not be used or taken advantage of anymore.

  • @_whatnext_9319
    @_whatnext_9319 2 місяці тому +11

    I agree to an extent... I'll give people the shirt off my back but it pisses me off on just how inconsiderate and selfish so many people around me are

  • @MrSkypelessons
    @MrSkypelessons 2 місяці тому +18

    You have made a lot of very angry men very happy with this video.

    • @Jodivalley
      @Jodivalley 2 місяці тому +4

      One hundred percent agree. I doubt most angry people would ever go to counseling. They tend to miserable and difficult to be around unless you match their anger and hatefulness.

    • @kimepp2216
      @kimepp2216 Місяць тому +1

      The three angriest people I have encountered and had to deal with liked being angry, it gave them power to affect someone negatively. Only one of the three
      had a shred of kindness within.

    • @MrSkypelessons
      @MrSkypelessons Місяць тому

      @@kimepp2216 'You have to be cruel to be kind' is an old saying

    • @Ot-ej5gi
      @Ot-ej5gi 29 днів тому

      @@kimepp2216 she is talking not about righteous or tantrum anger of a narcissist that is frequent and habitual. Just a relatively rare outburst of an individual that finally is fed up

  • @MetalDeathMusic
    @MetalDeathMusic 2 місяці тому +12

    I do believe some people just have anger issues, but they may be due to something similar. I have had very bad anger issues since I was a kid. I was raised to be a doormat and I feel extremely guilty and bad for trying to say no. My father still throws tantrums and makes me feel bad if I dare tell him no or speak against him (he's almost 70). I've always tried to be a kind, good person and people just take advantage of that. I keep everything inside until I physically can't and then my body just explodes.

  • @FrenchQuarterBelle
    @FrenchQuarterBelle 2 місяці тому +3

    This is very true! I have now, over many years, become a reformed people pleaser. Hard to do, but not impossible. Life is too short to always put yourself last ❤❤❤

  • @pinkroses135
    @pinkroses135 2 місяці тому +9

    Anger is a beautiful thing when you understand it like that. It's the unhelpful behaviors associated with it that are the problem.

    • @dkBybee
      @dkBybee Місяць тому +2

      Agree

    • @lukyguy1240
      @lukyguy1240 Місяць тому +1

      "Be angry and sin not."

    • @smartgenes1
      @smartgenes1 Місяць тому

      Bullshit.

    • @dkBybee
      @dkBybee Місяць тому

      @@smartgenes1 that’s a compelling argument you make. 🤪

  • @techwithharsh0204
    @techwithharsh0204 2 місяці тому +7

    I feel like this applies to general scenario there are other cases like anger coming from narcissists, they don’t give to other people 🤔

  • @joendrsn
    @joendrsn 2 місяці тому +26

    this is specifically about people pleasers....

    • @ezazkhan4233
      @ezazkhan4233 2 місяці тому +1

      yes im people please lack camnicution lack boundaries

    • @ezazkhan4233
      @ezazkhan4233 2 місяці тому

      100

    • @smartgenes1
      @smartgenes1 Місяць тому

      In that context it has some relevance, but she used it as an excuse to give anger some credibility as an authentic evolutionary mechanism of decency, which it is certainly NOT.

  • @Dellellonnatta
    @Dellellonnatta Місяць тому +1

    Nice versus kind. How to control outbursts. Self esteem issues manifested with anger as motivation. Finally they are alone. Conforming is a double edged sword. Regulating is the word missing. Healthy people are able to regulate and convey their needs and wants. Angry people never want to make a mistake and some always want to be correct. Anger can come from trauma because of family dynamics issues. The child tries to compensate for the unhealthy parent. The taboo psychedelics. EMDR. Better than Big Parma and counselling. Integrating EMDR and/or psychedelics shifts the focus and changes the reaction process like in cases of PTSD or dysthymia

    • @smartgenes1
      @smartgenes1 Місяць тому

      "Angry people never want to make a mistake and some always want to be correct." Where's the likes on this comment, all the likes for stupid comments.

  • @weaintfree
    @weaintfree 2 місяці тому +13

    I could watch And listen to her speak about anything.
    Beautiful woman Soothing voice.

    • @djdj-qx3hb
      @djdj-qx3hb 2 місяці тому +2

      She looks like that actress Heather Thomas

    • @weaintfree
      @weaintfree 2 місяці тому +1

      Sorry, not seeing it.
      Though Heather Thomas was an attractive gal in her day.

  •  Місяць тому

    After I started going hunting, my anger outbursts dissipated.

  • @maburtmd
    @maburtmd 2 місяці тому

    This describes what I experience and witness among physician colleagues. High workload, incredible amount of personal time sacrifice, ungrateful patients, and production demands by health systems takes a a toll on these folks. Your analysis here fits.

  • @abovewater6918
    @abovewater6918 2 місяці тому +2

    Thank you, good explanation and good advice

  • @stevenelson25
    @stevenelson25 2 місяці тому +3

    I like your videos. Also, as another example, I have met people, who seemed to thrive and utilize stubbornness, as their greatest asset/ally in career, and life pursuit. I felt often times though, that they payed for that with anger being their best source of self protection in turn. I just find it interesting, that repeated, unwanted, undesired behavior and emotional response, can be so insidiously woven into peoples characters this way, that they don't even notice what is causing the anger, or will take lots of time for them to be able to communicate it.

  • @TheDWZemke
    @TheDWZemke 2 місяці тому +2

    As someone, male 50's, that always has their anger under controll 100%, I always have controllers/ limits in place. FYI played high level sports and learned how to use anger and what my triggers. FYI if a guy walks away from an argument, ladies, let him go and he need to get his feeling processed. Have a blessed/ peaceful life.

  • @tim_lu
    @tim_lu 2 місяці тому +10

    As a explanation for specific type of people i get that, as a generalization for all poeple with anger it sounds (sorry) bullshit. In my family there are poeple with massive anger problems and its (mostly) not because of the reasons you told. I tried for years to be emphatic and i understood where the anger came from at the same time they can be very mean and spitefull in these moments, to the point where i had no more energy to tolarate these behaviors and had to minimize the intaractions with them to a minimum.

    • @TheToscanaMan
      @TheToscanaMan 2 місяці тому +4

      I think you have hit on something. Some people are mean and angry and it is not because they are looking to please anyone. They are self-centered and not at all altruistic. They get angry when they don't get their way. Minimizing contact is a good idea when you can do it.

    • @klosty2
      @klosty2 2 місяці тому +3

      I think this video is an advertisement directed towards those with anger issues. This is telling them they are good on the inside so they would book a session. This is not about being informative.

  • @AustinZest
    @AustinZest 2 місяці тому +1

    This is very resounding. I had this yesterday and it was terrible. I throw a cup at the wall and it shattered everywhere. I do so much for my family and I work from home and when my boundaries are just not respected time and time again and I say it nicely, something triggers me usually my partners family drama and then I lose it and I feel like a fractured human afterward with immense guilt. Terrible cycle. Needs to stop.

  • @farhadjalili-bj8qo
    @farhadjalili-bj8qo 2 місяці тому

    Thank you beautiful ❤ this information is so valuable so people understands how the mind works. Great

  • @uriel578
    @uriel578 2 місяці тому

    Thank you, I really appreciate this.
    I'll have to bring this up with my therapist.
    I'm AuDHD and probably alexithymic, this resonates with me.
    Best of luck in all your endeavours.

  • @justsomedude-pm4
    @justsomedude-pm4 2 місяці тому +1

    Yep sounds dead on. Recently went through this whole self awareness thing myself. I believe personally for me it had a lot to do with chronic pain issues and pushing my body while destroying my mind just trying to lead a "normal" life. I'm currently in financial ruin waiting on a surgery and feel better mentally than I ever have before in my life. I'm Currently focusing on the fundamental problems that drives my anger which leads me to believe I need to get into politics (which I dread the thought of actually doing). I feel things like critical thinking and civic responsibility being taught in elementary school would have done me a world of good for my anger issues. I feel I have been asleep at the wheel as a citizen of my country and maybe those skills being taught at a young age would help other people understand their own feelings better instead of jumping on board with the latest social media trends for an outlet of their anger of a situation they don't even fully comprehend.

  • @josephjackson3793
    @josephjackson3793 2 місяці тому

    Thank you for your knowledge and your energy.

  • @ckelly5141
    @ckelly5141 2 місяці тому +1

    2:03 Anger is an evolutionary mechanism? I thought we were created by God?

  • @privacyhelp
    @privacyhelp 2 місяці тому +3

    Everyone has a plan until an angry guy punches you.

  • @MOstix13
    @MOstix13 2 місяці тому +4

    I think you are onto something. Very insightful. Thank you.

  • @jffryh
    @jffryh 2 місяці тому

    "Resonating" vs "resounding"?

  • @stevenmize1
    @stevenmize1 2 місяці тому +1

    Where do I sign up? I had multiple eruptions this last summer.

  • @danielbachmann2289
    @danielbachmann2289 2 місяці тому

    Fascinating! Thank you! Are there any further refrences you could share? I would love to know more facts and recommendations

  • @ChrisA-u3t
    @ChrisA-u3t 2 місяці тому +1

    Thanks for this video Olesya. What about the subconscious which i never really believed existed till recently! Chris

  • @aorinz
    @aorinz 2 місяці тому

    You make some good points. But I must say that my psychological status is affected by the fact that you didn't button your shirt up. I'm shallow.

  • @wRaYnEDrops
    @wRaYnEDrops 2 місяці тому

    My Anger scares me, Now my body twitches in response to stress. Now I protect me first .. mental Health more important than other people's demands.. Choose your peace, NOT theirs.. 😌 Whew

  • @johnpaulvooght2962
    @johnpaulvooght2962 2 місяці тому

    Very resounding with me . Than k you for this useful video .

  • @jurikirsteinhgel4945
    @jurikirsteinhgel4945 2 місяці тому +6

    I think anger is more of a bodily reaction... That's why we are not aware of it, until it explodes

    • @alicjainscotland1252
      @alicjainscotland1252 2 місяці тому +2

      But you can be aware of your bodily reactions as they happen and this is in part how you can be aware of your anger building up. You can learn it through paying attention to your thoughts and what your body is feeling. Often therapy might help with that also through addressing the underlying issues that may be there causing the lack of awareness in the first place.

  • @Takeitlightly6
    @Takeitlightly6 2 місяці тому

    What did the smart woman say? I lost focus in those eyes

  • @markfennell1167
    @markfennell1167 2 місяці тому +1

    This is an excellent video because it’s the first time I’ve heard anyone say that good people get angry for legitimate reasons.
    I find it very odd that most of the world today is full of deliberately, cruel people will deliberately harm others take from others and abuse others and this is considered acceptable and normal
    Those of us who simply want to be civilized and cooperative are considered freaks. And if we’re not getting our own needs mat, we’re not seeing reciprocity in return then we emphatically put our foot down and demand what we deserve well suddenly we’re considered bad people
    The reason good men get angry is because we are normally civilized and expect other people to be civilized. We believe in cooperation, all the other people believe in theft and cruelty
    We get frustrated
    We get angry
    But this wouldn’t have happened 30 years ago
    So yes, we’re angry. But that’s because we’ve been trying to live in a normal civilized equal relationship lifestyle while constantly being abused, marginalized and taken advantage of
    At this point, yes we are angry and we deserve to be angry.

  • @TrustInTheUniverse
    @TrustInTheUniverse 2 місяці тому

    The being nice that you describe here is called the "fawn response"

  • @NorbertKasko
    @NorbertKasko 2 місяці тому

    True for some people but assuming that this is always the case is delusional.

  • @Achilles-m5k
    @Achilles-m5k 2 місяці тому

    Me taking the back seat to everyone else has manifested in a shadow who is the complete opposite.... I'm pretty sure he would sell his own mother for a dollar and it's getting increasingly difficult to control him but I don't think he's evil.....he just wants me to get things done....he really hates people who had their time still in the way.

  • @jacobheinz8236
    @jacobheinz8236 2 місяці тому

    Thank you for your insights, interesting!
    I’ll chew on this a bit.

  • @smartgenes1
    @smartgenes1 Місяць тому

    Nonsense. Anger is not a mechanism of boundaries. It is an absence of love, an excuse to abuse others. I know someone who doesn't have ANY responsibility or regret about their outbursts of anger. It is always someone else's fault. Anger is not something from evolution, it is a mechanical perversity. Of course, a decent person can be triggered by someone worse and become angry. They still have something bad inside them, just perhaps not as bad as the person doing the triggering.

  • @mhmdghfr
    @mhmdghfr 2 місяці тому

    Probably Google's pyschological algorithm has detected me fitting this video by recommending it to me. Anyway, by lowering your expectations of others you might be able to lower your anger of their actions. Also, I think pride has an effect on how badly angry you become in situations. Thanks.

  • @PoliticalEconomy101
    @PoliticalEconomy101 2 місяці тому +1

    Tell that to all of the women who have died from angry male outbursts!

    • @imonlydancingsal1509
      @imonlydancingsal1509 2 місяці тому

      Tragically there are 'violent' men, who physically harm, or even kill. But this fact doesn't negate that anger is common to BOTH genders, but presents in different ways often. Passive aggressive behaviour can be toxic, like a cancer, and can destroy the mental health of the target of that passive aggression - often women are 'passively aggressive/angry', or they will be verbally angry or throw their rage around behind closed doors in a controlling way. Men can certainly be verbally angry also. It's a 'human' problem, and this video is relevant to BOTH sexes.

    • @PoliticalEconomy101
      @PoliticalEconomy101 2 місяці тому

      Well im a believer in equality. I believe at the end if each year we should tally up the score. And we should equalize the score on body counts. Want to volunteer as one of those equalized?

    • @PoliticalEconomy101
      @PoliticalEconomy101 2 місяці тому

      @@imonlydancingsal1509 Do you support femicide?

    • @PoliticalEconomy101
      @PoliticalEconomy101 2 місяці тому +1

      @@imonlydancingsal1509 How about we tally the score at the end of the year and equalize it?

    • @PoliticalEconomy101
      @PoliticalEconomy101 2 місяці тому

      @@imonlydancingsal1509 Will u to volunteer to be equal?

  • @WolfRhymesEntertainment
    @WolfRhymesEntertainment 2 місяці тому +1

    I was nice I'm the Messiah now 😎 I don't come to give I come to take like a thief 😎 gimmie yo number

  • @timelwood2555
    @timelwood2555 2 місяці тому +2

    You're a very beautiful woman.

  • @kentimmins9171
    @kentimmins9171 2 місяці тому

    Thanks for the info .."our".little beauty ❤

  • @AW33COM
    @AW33COM 2 місяці тому

    You might be up to something, because every Cancer feels like that. We give everything to others with no ego, but we never receive it back, because it's not possible to get it back, so we get angry.

    • @AngealHewley0
      @AngealHewley0 2 місяці тому

      Prob not anger but definitely annoyment at how inconsiderate they are. But no offence usually people that Hate on me are like 1/5 attractive as I. Pfff Id rather be attractive than an ugly hater.

  • @KingXRO0
    @KingXRO0 Місяць тому

    Shes beautiful ❤️

  • @ElliottMorrow-fg4lc
    @ElliottMorrow-fg4lc 2 місяці тому

    Oh. Um, okay. Thank you, cutie. I-this happens to me sometimes, yes. I like you, you're seem very cool, very intelligent and wise.

  • @aswinsamuel5798
    @aswinsamuel5798 2 місяці тому +1

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @supers0nic77
    @supers0nic77 2 місяці тому

    In my case is generally true

  • @alexalexander3140
    @alexalexander3140 2 місяці тому

    I’m completely aware of it…my volcano is my friend

  • @hellstryker9638
    @hellstryker9638 2 місяці тому +3

    I am this. People pleaser and pushover basically. Just being nice and doing the right things and having common courtesy. But at the end of the day people will take advantage of you so much. You are trash to them. Then you realize this and you melt over. Anymore I have just turned into a prick.

  • @pacesferry
    @pacesferry Місяць тому

    🙋 surviving with this 😔

  • @Riseabovethis
    @Riseabovethis 2 місяці тому

    True yep I’m working on it lol ❤😮😊

  • @Turtleface869
    @Turtleface869 2 місяці тому

    Good advice but it assumes a safe environment. Some people can never escape the hostility. Such as when child abuse is covered up for a lifetime by a network. There can be no end to the exploitation and unjust acts of revenge and this happens to very many. You have to put up with it and constantly achieve superiority. Not because it’s fair because it starts to scare them. You can unmask all of them and you’re getting stronger. There is no better way to deal with cowards operating as a network than to maintain composure and superiority. Expect their strategies to suppress, oppress and harm have no upper or lower limit. They themselves seek the network out of their own weaknesses and insecurities. There is never going to be more equitable treatment. When your environment is constantly intentionally turned upside down scare them with fierce composure and superior thought. The biggest mistake we make is believing there is no external fault because we were conditioned. When you start to see through everyone they don’t want to be in the same room with you. Show them your composure is severe and you see through the schemes and they will never stop trying but they will avoid you. Stand your ground with composure and seek a clear path to equity, peace and respect. Know that most good people are not that good. They are not used to fear and they will betray you fast. Serenity comes from acceptance of what is the reality of the present moment it cannot be granted to you. Setting boundaries is preferable but this does not work in groups ruled by chaotic order. Accept your hatred for their lack of truthfulness, compassion and dignity is righteous. It’s OK to hate. To lie to yourself about this only increases your anger. Your hatred is a liberating feeling on its own. Suppressed hatred is like sealing a jar of water over an eternal flame. The pressure will cause it to burst and scald. Accept your hatred and the pressure is relieved. Knowing you are righteous opens up the flow in your nervous system. Hatred allowed to flow freely brings whit, strength, conviction and inner peace because acceptance is the cause of serenity. Wait for serenity to be granted and you will melt down. The world in its entirety runs on lies. Trust in yourself. Let the fire burn it does not harm anything when the heat flows unfettered.

  • @taterbug70
    @taterbug70 Місяць тому

    Wow, I wondered about that

  • @IsThatRight-v2c
    @IsThatRight-v2c 2 місяці тому

    Embrace Stoicisms and Prayer. Nothing (including therapy) has ever been as effective as a relationship with God and the discipline of Stoic principles.

  • @HaimBenAvrahm
    @HaimBenAvrahm 2 місяці тому

    The volcano is building magma. When it exists the volcano, it is then called lava. 🎉

  • @DennisD-yv4ys
    @DennisD-yv4ys 2 місяці тому

    I like psychology 😳 gota watch our for that anger that leads to radicalization 😲

  • @djsneakysnake9531
    @djsneakysnake9531 2 місяці тому +2

    Is she single?

    • @cv6176
      @cv6176 2 місяці тому

      Are you desperate? Can't find a girl in real life?

  • @gerryk101
    @gerryk101 2 місяці тому

    Wow !Look at you !! You are such a Cutie 🤗😉✌️I always pull an Austin powers on ppl .
    If you've got an issue ? Here's a Tissue 😂

  • @kellyely9113
    @kellyely9113 2 місяці тому

    Both angry and happy are positively charged emotions, which means someone that learned to mask their anger with being pleasant as a child due to abusive and neglectful parents not allowing them to express their anger and understand it, become toxically positive. This learned people pleasing becomes the disingenuous, manipulative platform on which "nice" guys condition insecure and anxious women to stay with them, even though their needs of emotional intimacy and mental intimacy are not being met, he's the "useful" guy that can fix anything and everything and is a "yes man" when it comes to doing things for her, but lacks any ability to genuinely share thoughts, feelings, dreams and ideas of his own and recognize hers in the process (they basically are too disconnected to differentiate between love and tolerance, and since they have had to tolerate large amounts of abuse and neglect, just not being rejected feels very good to them, at least for awhile). These types of men starve you of emotional, mental and eventually sexual intimacy, and they do not leave even when their needs are not being met, and really won't allow you to leave either. This happens with women too, and good men become bitter and resentful, but I find that a lot of people think the nice guy should be given a chance, while the nice girl is immature and should be used. It's a double standard in favor of men, but I'm glad that I am able to recognize this very early on and not pay them any mind other than to firmly reject their advances.

    • @smartgenes1
      @smartgenes1 Місяць тому +1

      There is nothing positive about losing oneself in anger whatsoever.

    • @kellyely9113
      @kellyely9113 Місяць тому

      @smartgenes1 I agree, but by positive, I mean the "charge" not the effect. Anger and happiness are an energetic charge, sadness and pain are a de-energizing charge, they are negative. The ability to regulate happiness means we can regulate anger. Toxic positivity means we can only regulate negative emotions, but fake positive ones, making happiness disingenuous and anger uncontrollable.

  • @davesnowdon3869
    @davesnowdon3869 2 місяці тому

    A little patronizing sweetheart!

  • @seanshah6905
    @seanshah6905 2 місяці тому

    Well hello…Anger is a learned behavior. A conditioned behavior. It’s got nothing to do with evolutionary processes etc. Nor is a coping mechanism. So please stop this nonsense rant anger is good & it’s ok. It’s Not! ❤

    • @jasondawdy5524
      @jasondawdy5524 2 місяці тому +4

      Anger can be a protection mechanism. And righteous anger is appropriate.

    • @SeekerGoOn2013
      @SeekerGoOn2013 2 місяці тому +3

      Anger is an emotion; not a behavior. What we DO with our emotions can be healthy and appropriate, or unhealthy and possibly harmful.

    • @jasondawdy5524
      @jasondawdy5524 2 місяці тому

      @@SeekerGoOn2013 that is true 👍

    • @seanshah6905
      @seanshah6905 2 місяці тому

      @@SeekerGoOn2013 you do it 100 times & it becomes a Behavior. Anything you repeat becomes a Habit and we can say becomes your behavior, yes?

    • @seanshah6905
      @seanshah6905 2 місяці тому

      @@jasondawdy5524 it maybe righteous to you but not someone else. Love has redeeming qualities…Anger is like hot coals…Always Burns!

  • @DarrynMurray
    @DarrynMurray 2 місяці тому

    Thankyou very much.

  • @jarichards99utube
    @jarichards99utube 2 місяці тому

    😊👍👍 -70SomethingGuy