Hey Bri, I would just say that the point is to keep living, keep trying, keep succeeding, and pick yourself up when it doesn't go your way. Sometimes you get what you want only to realized that it's not what you really wanted. You can just return to what fits best for you. Thanks for putting out another clip on You Tube.
Bri, I think I'm about 2 years older than you, and last year feel like I reached the "endstation" of my young adult life. The way my autism impacts my habits and drive mostly led to me being hyper focused on my degree while maintaining a bunch of extra curricular activities + outside jobs. Once this order and structure shifted, it was pretty difficult to adjust. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome are a regular occurrence when you spend your whole life preparing for academia/medicine. Relate viscerally to the overachiever side of things. Was always pretty good at school despite being bored, not knowing why I was learning certain things, and overall never fitting into any social clique besides nerds. I had a healthy social group for awhile, but would get on myself if I didn't ace everything, stay on a sports team, and achieve all the things I was told I was capable of. However, I feel like much of my development, I'd try too hard to fit in with groups of people who weren't the best types of friends to have in the first place. They weren't bad people, just different world views or visions for how they wanted their lives to evolve. My overarching goal was to establish a career and improve aspects of myself such that I could project a strong image to others. Not that others will accept that portrait nor acknowledge the work it took to sculpt, but it would be my own nonetheless. When people don't understand why you don't look at them the same way a neurotypical person does, why your voice inflections aren't what they expect, or why you can't hold a conversation about seemingly normal things... It leads to pretty quick social rejection, but in a very "gap-like" way. Sometimes none of the themes that general people use to make small-talk with one another are compatible with your social language, then there's a severe deficit in communication. It does almost make you feel like an alien, and I think that amplifies the imposter syndrome. A constant internal juggling act of... Try to ask them questions! Oh, well they gave an answer, so let's show some sort of interest! Eventually the conversation attenuates and ultimately grinds to a halt, resulting in many awkward laughs/silences. Now that I have my career, I think I understand social dynamics more than I did in the past, but not in my personal life. I know how to interact with coworkers or other professionals, but that's a completely different wheelhouse than personal. Weird how an autistic brain can systematize, but it'd be weird to have an algorithm to socialize when interpersonal relationships should be different and spontaneous. To your point with things not feeling "normal"... Whenever I hear conversations in general public or from a group of neurotypicals, there always feels like there's a "gap" between them. Where the members of the group are aware that the topic being discussed isn't talked about truthfully, or it's just a veil to cover up some other intention of why the interaction is happening in the first place. Especially when it comes to qualifications, questioning authority, or challenging someone's establishment. Maybe it's because as autistic people we associate our identities with other aspects of ourselves? Who knows. Glad to see you're still making videos! One of my favorite channels on the candid autistic experience... Maybe I'll upload something about electronics and autism to share my two cents on my own mind. :) -Dylan
Yeah, for me academics always felt like the only thing I could do “right” since I noticed very quickly how much I struggled in other aspects of life and school (social interactions, relationships, etc.) When I am put in new environments (i.e new job) I’m able to decipher the social code or vibe or whatever within that particular space but reciprocating it is the part that doesn’t come natural to me. I think neurotypicals fabricate things. I feel like they do and say things and behave in certain ways just because it’s what everyone else is doing, without ever actually questioning how arbitrary it all is? And to me, most of it really is just that. But what do I know… I feel like autism changes the way that I see things like authority and hierarchy. I’ve never been affected by it. I logically understand that this person has more power or authority than me but I can’t see them any differently because of it. And I will not automatically respect or admire someone for that alone (this is the big part). The title means nothing to me, I want to see how/who they are as a person and what they did to actually get there (like, can I even trust them?)
@@brisbreathing Completely agree with fabricated neurotypical conversations... It can get exhausting trying to think of ways you can show affirmation while not caring/knowing absolutely anything about what/why they're talking about something so mundane and artificial. Sounds like you're just calling it for what it is! Authority and hierarchy always have been so arbitrarily assigned anyways... Most of it seems to be associated from what someone is born into or the social clique they fall in. Not like people can't change their circumstances and acquire authority somehow, but it just seems much rarer to see people who have a justified reason to be in the position they hold. I actually just finished watching your "no friends" update video lol... Sometimes I binge your content from the relatability. No clue if most autistic people can relate to your content, but it's great to know I'm not the only person socially isolated from my own neurotype. You should totally do a video about preferences sometime! I should have an email on my profile. I'd love to chat about content ideas and offer my two cents. :)
@@brisbreathingEach time I try to reply with my email, it auto-deletes my comment. Either way, you should be able to go to my profile, scroll down on the bio, and then click on the field that reveals my email? Go to "more" under my bio, scroll down to "View email ..." and then it should have you solve a captcha to see my email. Either way we'll figure it out x)
One of the most deepest dates I’ve been on, kidding haha. I’m new here. But seriously, I think about all of this every second of the day too and it really scares me. But I’ll always keep my head up and walking forward :)
I’m in my early 30s and ever since 2020 thing they attack us with I have had no friends since and ever since my ex and I broke up I have been isolated by myself and I work from home so the isolation is really bad. The only way to date or find friends is online now there’s nowhere to go in real life anymore. This is not how we are supposed to live. The powers that be purposely orchestrated it to be this way to control us. We have to fix this
Yeah, it’s like the concept of third spaces is kinda ceasing to exist…or maybe the only third space we really have is the internet like you said. And it isn’t a substitute for human connection
Hello! Nice to see your new video and absorb your observations and views. I'd have enjoyed being there in the car with you. Hey, I probably even would have treated!
man that was deep. true dat tho. everything really is pointless. i really hope that simulation theory is true. there's a bit of point to that, at least.
@@anabell7184 hmm I don’t think so, I think i just find certain things to be unsettling…like the thought of technology taking over. horror movies too, I can’t watch them 😭
Wait, you bring me on a coffee date and I cant even share your one, what is your coffee? Latte? I agree that everything ends in a big zero, but I find it liberating to know that everything you say or do wont matter. I make terrible dad jokes, Im honest and chill with life. You have a timer so get out and enjoy it while you can, we are at the end just a collection of experiences :) Have a listen to this song it really hits - Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen, was something someone showed me when I was younger
@@brisbreathing Excellent!! You have not answered the most important question, what coffee did you get? And what pastry did you eat before recording the vid, and dont play with me that there wasnt one haha!!!
@@brisbreathing That sounds on point, I may get me one of those!! You didnt get a pastry...really? You expect me to buy that? Come on!! You didnt maybe sneak a bit of croissant into your car?? hahaha
Oh my god. When I read this comment, I took note of that song and even looked it up but didn’t listen to it yet. Today I was sitting in a coffee shop working (wearing noise cancelling headphones) and I took them off for a second. This song was playing and I instantly started smiling thinking “woah, what is this?” So I pick up my phone and use Shazam and it’s EVERYBODY’S FREE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN. I swear my jaw dropped. The universe works in the strangest of ways, can’t believe that just happened.
I think it just sucks that you have to pretend to be someone.. to put on a face at all.. Like why can't people just take people the way they are? I think "normal" people are really rare, everyone has their own kind of problems and stuff.. idk.. :/ Like I myself struggle with social anixety and I bet it's the same thing for you too, I just have to overcome my anxiety in EVERY social situation, have to pretend to be "normal" just like you talked about because of your autism.. and yeah it does damage the mental health, It just atleast for me gives me this feeling of just... not fitting in. like the whole society is made for extroverted people, people who can just pick up the phone for example or... idk.. go do their shopping without nearly having a panik attack every single day, over and over again... Life is rough.. but, even tho you talked about all that, you still were able to give us a smile and a funny message to end the video, and I think sometimes that is all we ever need, atleast one person in all this that still spreads light and kindness to others.. but yeah such an interesting video to be honest kind of makes me anxious but.. idk.. I think it feels good to see someone else speak out the thoughts I try to avoid / try to not think about? Hope that makes sense.. thank you for the video :) and haha I guess ignorance really is a bliss, and yup if you do figure it out, please update us 😂 (update.. saw the last few seconds.. Oh..... welp... 🤷♀😂👍)
i loved this comment 🫶 yeah, i think it’s probably best to avoid thinking about things like this for the most part, it can definitely send you into a spiral. but every once in a while i think it’s okay to recognize how the things that weigh us down so much usually aren’t as significant as they feel. thanks for listening:)
Hey Bri, I would just say that the point is to keep living, keep trying, keep succeeding, and pick yourself up when it doesn't go your way. Sometimes you get what you want only to realized that it's not what you really wanted. You can just return to what fits best for you. Thanks for putting out another clip on You Tube.
hi, thanks for your words - this is powerful and really resonates with me right now
@@brisbreathing Thanks Bri!
This talk was really something. Glad i could listen to this just after i question everything per usual :).
glad you enjoyed 🫶☺️
Bri,
I think I'm about 2 years older than you, and last year feel like I reached the "endstation" of my young adult life. The way my autism impacts my habits and drive mostly led to me being hyper focused on my degree while maintaining a bunch of extra curricular activities + outside jobs. Once this order and structure shifted, it was pretty difficult to adjust. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome are a regular occurrence when you spend your whole life preparing for academia/medicine.
Relate viscerally to the overachiever side of things. Was always pretty good at school despite being bored, not knowing why I was learning certain things, and overall never fitting into any social clique besides nerds. I had a healthy social group for awhile, but would get on myself if I didn't ace everything, stay on a sports team, and achieve all the things I was told I was capable of. However, I feel like much of my development, I'd try too hard to fit in with groups of people who weren't the best types of friends to have in the first place. They weren't bad people, just different world views or visions for how they wanted their lives to evolve. My overarching goal was to establish a career and improve aspects of myself such that I could project a strong image to others. Not that others will accept that portrait nor acknowledge the work it took to sculpt, but it would be my own nonetheless.
When people don't understand why you don't look at them the same way a neurotypical person does, why your voice inflections aren't what they expect, or why you can't hold a conversation about seemingly normal things... It leads to pretty quick social rejection, but in a very "gap-like" way. Sometimes none of the themes that general people use to make small-talk with one another are compatible with your social language, then there's a severe deficit in communication. It does almost make you feel like an alien, and I think that amplifies the imposter syndrome. A constant internal juggling act of... Try to ask them questions! Oh, well they gave an answer, so let's show some sort of interest! Eventually the conversation attenuates and ultimately grinds to a halt, resulting in many awkward laughs/silences.
Now that I have my career, I think I understand social dynamics more than I did in the past, but not in my personal life. I know how to interact with coworkers or other professionals, but that's a completely different wheelhouse than personal. Weird how an autistic brain can systematize, but it'd be weird to have an algorithm to socialize when interpersonal relationships should be different and spontaneous.
To your point with things not feeling "normal"... Whenever I hear conversations in general public or from a group of neurotypicals, there always feels like there's a "gap" between them. Where the members of the group are aware that the topic being discussed isn't talked about truthfully, or it's just a veil to cover up some other intention of why the interaction is happening in the first place.
Especially when it comes to qualifications, questioning authority, or challenging someone's establishment. Maybe it's because as autistic people we associate our identities with other aspects of ourselves? Who knows.
Glad to see you're still making videos! One of my favorite channels on the candid autistic experience... Maybe I'll upload something about electronics and autism to share my two cents on my own mind. :)
-Dylan
Yeah, for me academics always felt like the only thing I could do “right” since I noticed very quickly how much I struggled in other aspects of life and school (social interactions, relationships, etc.)
When I am put in new environments (i.e new job) I’m able to decipher the social code or vibe or whatever within that particular space but reciprocating it is the part that doesn’t come natural to me.
I think neurotypicals fabricate things. I feel like they do and say things and behave in certain ways just because it’s what everyone else is doing, without ever actually questioning how arbitrary it all is? And to me, most of it really is just that. But what do I know…
I feel like autism changes the way that I see things like authority and hierarchy. I’ve never been affected by it. I logically understand that this person has more power or authority than me but I can’t see them any differently because of it. And I will not automatically respect or admire someone for that alone (this is the big part). The title means nothing to me, I want to see how/who they are as a person and what they did to actually get there (like, can I even trust them?)
and thank you so much! that means a lot. sometimes I forget some people are actually watching lol
@@brisbreathing Completely agree with fabricated neurotypical conversations... It can get exhausting trying to think of ways you can show affirmation while not caring/knowing absolutely anything about what/why they're talking about something so mundane and artificial. Sounds like you're just calling it for what it is!
Authority and hierarchy always have been so arbitrarily assigned anyways... Most of it seems to be associated from what someone is born into or the social clique they fall in. Not like people can't change their circumstances and acquire authority somehow, but it just seems much rarer to see people who have a justified reason to be in the position they hold.
I actually just finished watching your "no friends" update video lol... Sometimes I binge your content from the relatability. No clue if most autistic people can relate to your content, but it's great to know I'm not the only person socially isolated from my own neurotype.
You should totally do a video about preferences sometime! I should have an email on my profile. I'd love to chat about content ideas and offer my two cents. :)
I looked but I didn’t see the email (not sure if I missed it)
@@brisbreathingEach time I try to reply with my email, it auto-deletes my comment. Either way, you should be able to go to my profile, scroll down on the bio, and then click on the field that reveals my email?
Go to "more" under my bio, scroll down to "View email ..." and then it should have you solve a captcha to see my email. Either way we'll figure it out x)
One of the most deepest dates I’ve been on, kidding haha. I’m new here.
But seriously, I think about all of this every second of the day too and it really scares me. But I’ll always keep my head up and walking forward :)
Hahaha way to get to know someone, right 😂
Sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. :)
Another great upload Bri 👍
hey thank you 🫶
i hope you always have a reason to smile and life is always full of joy for you may ya life be bleesed
i hope the same for you 🫶
I’m in my early 30s and ever since 2020 thing they attack us with I have had no friends since and ever since my ex and I broke up I have been isolated by myself and I work from home so the isolation is really bad. The only way to date or find friends is online now there’s nowhere to go in real life anymore. This is not how we are supposed to live. The powers that be purposely orchestrated it to be this way to control us. We have to fix this
Yeah, it’s like the concept of third spaces is kinda ceasing to exist…or maybe the only third space we really have is the internet like you said. And it isn’t a substitute for human connection
Hello! Nice to see your new video and absorb your observations and views. I'd have enjoyed being there in the car with you. Hey, I probably even would have treated!
I love you bri
Coffee 😂
the holy grail
mornings only , indeed.
man that was deep. true dat tho. everything really is pointless. i really hope that simulation theory is true. there's a bit of point to that, at least.
i have to admit that one freaks me out a bit
@@brisbreathing how so?
i think because it feels so dystopian
@@brisbreathing ah so you're an optimist then
@@anabell7184 hmm I don’t think so, I think i just find certain things to be unsettling…like the thought of technology taking over. horror movies too, I can’t watch them 😭
Wait, you bring me on a coffee date and I cant even share your one, what is your coffee? Latte? I agree that everything ends in a big zero, but I find it liberating to know that everything you say or do wont matter. I make terrible dad jokes, Im honest and chill with life. You have a timer so get out and enjoy it while you can, we are at the end just a collection of experiences :)
Have a listen to this song it really hits - Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen, was something someone showed me when I was younger
i aspire to take things less seriously like this :)
@@brisbreathing Excellent!! You have not answered the most important question, what coffee did you get? And what pastry did you eat before recording the vid, and dont play with me that there wasnt one haha!!!
@@GreatFutz oh how could i forget, it was an iced vanilla latte with oat milk
and I actually did not have one hahah 😂
@@brisbreathing That sounds on point, I may get me one of those!! You didnt get a pastry...really? You expect me to buy that? Come on!! You didnt maybe sneak a bit of croissant into your car?? hahaha
Oh my god. When I read this comment, I took note of that song and even looked it up but didn’t listen to it yet. Today I was sitting in a coffee shop working (wearing noise cancelling headphones) and I took them off for a second. This song was playing and I instantly started smiling thinking “woah, what is this?” So I pick up my phone and use Shazam and it’s EVERYBODY’S FREE TO WEAR SUNSCREEN. I swear my jaw dropped. The universe works in the strangest of ways, can’t believe that just happened.
I think it just sucks that you have to pretend to be someone.. to put on a face at all.. Like why can't people just take people the way they are? I think "normal" people are really rare, everyone has their own kind of problems and stuff.. idk.. :/ Like I myself struggle with social anixety and I bet it's the same thing for you too, I just have to overcome my anxiety in EVERY social situation, have to pretend to be "normal" just like you talked about because of your autism.. and yeah it does damage the mental health, It just atleast for me gives me this feeling of just... not fitting in. like the whole society is made for extroverted people, people who can just pick up the phone for example or... idk.. go do their shopping without nearly having a panik attack every single day, over and over again...
Life is rough.. but, even tho you talked about all that, you still were able to give us a smile and a funny message to end the video, and I think sometimes that is all we ever need, atleast one person in all this that still spreads light and kindness to others..
but yeah such an interesting video to be honest kind of makes me anxious but.. idk.. I think it feels good to see someone else speak out the thoughts I try to avoid / try to not think about? Hope that makes sense.. thank you for the video :) and haha I guess ignorance really is a bliss, and yup if you do figure it out, please update us 😂 (update.. saw the last few seconds.. Oh..... welp... 🤷♀😂👍)
i loved this comment 🫶 yeah, i think it’s probably best to avoid thinking about things like this for the most part, it can definitely send you into a spiral. but every once in a while i think it’s okay to recognize how the things that weigh us down so much usually aren’t as significant as they feel. thanks for listening:)
I scrolled through my subs for the first time in awhile.. hi 🙂🫶 I’m glad you’re still making vids and I love the existential chat
awww hiii 🫶🫶🙂