I've only recently got this as a word for my confused emotional states. "Bad" moods are instantaneous (and confused), good feelings are delayed (and confused too). The delay can be a day. However that lag is not useful in "real time". I too have used the delay to be stoical like saving someone's life (has happened!). I used to think my physiological responses to social situations were "excitement". In fact they were anxiety pure and simple. We live and learn. You two gentlemen are a great help.
"When u can say ur not OK when ur not OK it builds trust" ~ wise words that ALL humanity would do well imprinting on their hearts/minds, it's on my top 10 list "say what u mean n mean what u say " eh!?!!9:31Pm9/11/2023
Ok. Now, the interaction/coaching videos should be a thing on EACH of the things. Could be a video book even for sale or free. Paul, being an engineer, is the perfect one to get through my fog. Good thing here you did, yes!
My 18 yr old autisic son (we are both autistic, as are many family members) ALSO has or had a "red" "part" that involved emotional pain and his rage he recently described as "black goo". We are both quite alexithymic and delayed processors.
After finding out about alexithymia, I learned to just say "I don't know" when my NT wife asks how I feel about something and I am not sure yet. We can table the discussion until I can better articulate my feelings.
I had no contact with my late father after a break up , I very very rarely saw him shortly I had a need jerk reaction to avoid confrontation many feelings : discomfort, resentment anger, but the one strong feeling that I did not analyse or identify is LOVE , despite everything, I expercienced a cocktail of feelings, how could I not realize for all those years that I loved him despite everything I had severe poverty during childhood that meant that I was a cross between a child and a teenager at most when I was 25 (trauma) because of poverty and I really did not realize this also I lived my life getting used to having no contact and then he died, I have never felt so much intense pain and remorse and self blame in my life , does anyone know the answer to this ? also when I was 15 16 I missed the love of my youth and felt empty , I did not realise that this empty feeling meant that I missed her
Journalking really helps me, it’s simple but very effective. Write down your thoughts on your father. What happened, why was there the distance between you both. What did you want him to do? What sort of relationship did you want? That might help you grieve. Then after a while or how ever long it takes you to process it, maybe journal that yes, he could/should have done a lot better and you have the right to your feelings but maybe he didn’t have the tools to be who you needed him to be. Maybe he had trauma etc. when you eventually get to acceptance of who he was, compassion for him possibly but more importantly, compassion for yourself in what you needed at that time. Therapy would also help xx
I get it . I am a autistic like him who thought I had a different personality. The problem is idk what emotion I have. My wife needs to tell me. Or I need to look back after time has passed, but idk in the moment until it is too late, then it's huge For example, my right hand is broken m4 and m5 .
I find the delay mostly unhelpful. Getting “can’t you make up your mind?, you are like Jekyll & Hyde, shouldn’t you be over this by now?” thrown at me again and again. Oh, and of course: you are such a cold b…
I've only recently got this as a word for my confused emotional states. "Bad" moods are instantaneous (and confused), good feelings are delayed (and confused too). The delay can be a day. However that lag is not useful in "real time". I too have used the delay to be stoical like saving someone's life (has happened!). I used to think my physiological responses to social situations were "excitement". In fact they were anxiety pure and simple. We live and learn. You two gentlemen are a great help.
The bad moods are most likely driven by overwhelm.
True Ruth. I'm mostly very placid but can just "flip" under pressure.@@ruthhorowitz7625
My psychiatrist told me she thought I had alexithymia, and I still don't know how I feel about that
Yep, I have to take time to ruminate before I can inow how I feel about things.
"When u can say ur not OK when ur not OK it builds trust" ~ wise words that ALL humanity would do well imprinting on their hearts/minds, it's on my top 10 list "say what u mean n mean what u say " eh!?!!9:31Pm9/11/2023
Ok. Now, the interaction/coaching videos should be a thing on EACH of the things. Could be a video book even for sale or free. Paul, being an engineer, is the perfect one to get through my fog. Good thing here you did, yes!
My 18 yr old autisic son (we are both autistic, as are many family members) ALSO has or had a "red" "part" that involved emotional pain and his rage he recently described as "black goo". We are both quite alexithymic and delayed processors.
After finding out about alexithymia, I learned to just say "I don't know" when my NT wife asks how I feel about something and I am not sure yet. We can table the discussion until I can better articulate my feelings.
I had no contact with my late father after a break up , I very very rarely saw him shortly I had a need jerk reaction to avoid confrontation many feelings : discomfort, resentment anger, but the one strong feeling that I did not analyse or identify is LOVE , despite everything, I expercienced a cocktail of feelings, how could I not realize for all those years that I loved him despite everything
I had severe poverty during childhood that meant that I was a cross between a child and a teenager at most when I was 25 (trauma) because of poverty and I really did not realize this
also I lived my life getting used to having no contact and then he died, I have never felt so much intense pain and remorse and self blame in my life , does anyone know the answer to this ?
also when I was 15 16 I missed the love of my youth and felt empty , I did not realise that this empty feeling meant that I missed her
Journalking really helps me, it’s simple but very effective. Write down your thoughts on your father. What happened, why was there the distance between you both. What did you want him to do? What sort of relationship did you want? That might help you grieve. Then after a while or how ever long it takes you to process it, maybe journal that yes, he could/should have done a lot better and you have the right to your feelings but maybe he didn’t have the tools to be who you needed him to be. Maybe he had trauma etc. when you eventually get to acceptance of who he was, compassion for him possibly but more importantly, compassion for yourself in what you needed at that time. Therapy would also help xx
That tubular colored light, can you tell me where to source it? Many thanks for the useful video.
Thank you 🙏
Awesome video!!!!!😁💞
That's so funny!! I used to think that I had 15 personalities or so.
About one year ago I learned that I am an aspie
well... I guess that having limited reserve of phq.s to give NT-wise, more generally even, would make for some blessing.
❤❤❤
Dude I'd love to connect with you!
percents of feelings? I have never heard about feeling a percent of a feeling
I get it . I am a autistic like him who thought I had a different personality.
The problem is idk what emotion I have. My wife needs to tell me. Or I need to look back after time has passed, but idk in the moment until it is too late, then it's huge
For example, my right hand is broken m4 and m5 .
I find the delay mostly unhelpful. Getting “can’t you make up your mind?, you are like Jekyll & Hyde, shouldn’t you be over this by now?” thrown at me again and again. Oh, and of course: you are such a cold b…
It’s especially frustrating at work
Especially the second one! My emotions can be so strong and long to linger that the responses after that are (heh) hurtful.