He's saying what a lot of people, especially women don't want to hear. He's not saying it's a definite yes, and it's probably a very small percentage, but there are times when a side/mistress becomes the main and it works. People have to remember that people get married or are in relationships for different reasons and it ain't always because for love. There also a difference between loving someone and being IN LOVE with someone. TC had an episode where they also talked about people loving their partner due to "marriage" but not LIKING them as a person. At the end of the day, people need to be upfront at the BEGINNING of relationships about their needs, wants, values, and feelings. And not let family or society pressure them.
This!! Even ppl in the comments...likely women are trying to debunk what he said but this happens every single day. Now not every man that's cheating is leaving for a "happier" home but quite a few are. And yes, they remain faithful bc that's who they want to be with. Annnd this is how we know it's true-bc women will hold on tight to a man they know wants to be elsewhere but won't let go bc they don't wanna see the other women "win." Many a woman are miserable rn in a relationship with a man in love with someone else but he is staying bc of his sense of duty and the woman is too egomaniacal to just let his ass go. Exactly what you said about love v in love. There are instances where a man loves the main but in love with the side.
Like a friend of mine married her side, dude! She was in a serious relationship with his friend for 10 years, had a child, and everything! But dude, was her true soul mate 20 years p still going with their own child!
Finally, a man that told the truth and not some feel good bs of “she’s just garden tool” , or “If he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you!” The truth is, every situation is different. Women can cheat and fall in love with the side too. We’re human at the end of the day. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it happens all the time. This is the reason I don’t stay with cheaters. That depressing mental energy of comparison is not worth it.
Then stop leading women on,waste their time and energy. So,use her strength,comfort and stability to futher your agenda and then when opportunities present itself, you bounce to now be with the woman you love all along? The lack of morals and integrity baffle me!!!
Why would you be "in love" with someone who is a habitual liar and thus can't be trusted? That goes for the man and the side chick or even the woman and the side dude. It's not the cheating, it's the lying and withholding of the truth that is the most despicable, diabolical, and destructive aspect of the entire situation. It should eat away at your soul. And if it doesn't, you're nothing more than a narcissist. I've said my peace ✌️
Lmao this is embarrassing imagine trying to be the "main chick" from a looser that cheats on his significant other. There's plenty of good men out there. Ladies learn to higher your standards.
@@cjohnson_ See, this is what I was taking about in my other comment. Your focus is on the wrong person, Boo! She didn't do anything wrong, HE DID! Why are you holding her to the standard of knowing when to leave, but not him equally? ! The only person she's lying to is herself. He lying to everybody, just to get his way.
@@OrangeMoonGoddess the assumption is it’s a lie. Not much of a lie if everyone knows. Some people do it to keep up appearances, for comfort, for status, stability, some men to prevent financial ruin or perhaps it’s an understanding your life partner physically can’t for whatever the reason. I’ve heard it from far too many older women, they married young for love, the second time was for financial security. They’ll marry and ignore almost anything if taken care of.
@Cornelius Small I understand what you're describing, and I agree. What you're describing is an arrangement where everyone is in agreement. It may be a silent agreement, but it's still an agreement. I've seen several marriages with that arrangement. Usually, with older generations because those women had fewer access to resources than younger women do today. Perhaps THOSE are the women who will do "anything" to be financially secure. But we're living in different times now, and such is no longer the case. Let's also not pretend that the vast majority of times, this is done in secret where lies and deceit are involved. Being afraid of financial ruin, afraid of appearance or afraid of whatever consequence is NOT an excuse for this type of arrangement IF all parties are not in agreement with the arrangement.
Sometimes, that is true, but I know someone who was the side chick for 15 - 20 years, and once the kids graduated, he left his wife to be with her. Well, 3 years later, and he's newly divorced... he started doing the exact same thing to her. Now she's single, still coping, and he has a new girlfriend. Don't ever think that you'll replace the wife. It's a 50/50 chance, but you set your own self up when you date a married man or woman and have those expectations. Because in the beginning, before any feelings set in, it's mostly lies and all about getting sex. (Just my opinion) 🤷🏾♀️
Wow!!! This was a good read. I have so many questions lol. You’re right though, it’s a 50/50 chance. I have a male friend that’s about to marry his side chick (fiancé now). She and I were talking, she mentioned how she’s always reminding him how loyal they promised to remain to each other. I thought it was funny how she expects loyalty from a man that cheated with her. Aside from the fact that she was the side chick, she has all ready seen other signs that he may treat her the same as he did his first wife. Not that she doesn’t deserve loyalty, but you have to look at the obvious. Love is a hell of a drug
@patriciacollins4651 Sadly, she keep asking because deep down inside, she knew she was wrong for dating that married man, and she's looking for reassurance that he won't do the same to her. And the unfortunate thing, she can't even pray to God for that union because he didn't bring them together. But, I don't know their whole situation. Hopefully, he doesn't hurt her
If men/women could break up with each other without arguing, crying, name calling etc. Things would be different. Just like both the cheater and faithful person should be mature enough to know when to leave. The same should go for when you hear something you don't like. How many men/women do you know hear their spouse say "it's over" and they are accepting of it?? Fight or flight. It's human nature to actually avoid conflict, stress, strife or tumultuous situations.
It happens all of the time. It’s not right at all. Everyone knows if you don’t want to be with someone then leaving is the best option… but many times the actions don’t line up with what a person knows is the right thing to do. The right thing many times is the hard thing. ***Even worse there are men and women who have gotten married and they do not love who they are with. That’s sad.
Sometimes the side chick does become the main chick. People grow and sometimes grow apart… but let’s talk about the women who is willing to be a side chick. That has to be a depressing role.
Maybe not because more than likely he's meeting her every need and vice versa,because she's his safe haven peace of mind, but some chick's are just that side sex,no disrespect intended, those in these circumstances know the difference.
@@ruh-ul-qudussaid8446"she's his safe haven and peace of mind" Give me a break. That's what the man tells the side so that she feels validated because she "succeeded" where another women didn't. She isn't those things to him. He just says that so she keeps hoping that one day all her hard work will pay off if/when he leaves his main for her. He is stringing her along. Besides, there is no goddamn way that cheating brings true peace into anyone's life. The lying, the hiding, the manipulating, having to constantly face the guilt of cheating..... No way can someone (who isn't an uncaring sociopath) could find peace in that. Also, for any man who is willing to cheat for that long, no woman will ever give him enough love, peace, good treatment, sex, blowjobs, or home cooked meals to earn his full commitment because a man like that will never fully commit to anyone. Finally, any man who lies to his main that much for that long will absolutely do the same thing to his side, even if his side ends up "upgrading" to being the main.
If that's the case, why be married and "stay for the kids" if that isn't where your head and heart was from the beginning? Why make excuses? If your happiness is with someone else, don't kill someone with a lie when you can just as easily free them with the truth 🤷🏾♀️.
Some people really don't want to put their kids through the b*******. I don't think that cheating is the answer.... But some people really feel that they are willing to sacrifice parts of their "happiness" so that their children can have better statistical outcomes. I personally think it is selfishness to bring a kid into this world and destroy their family, just so you can go lay up with somebody else. People do it all the time,but it is a pretty selfish and terrible thing to do. Imo Life ain't always about happiness and sometimes you have to sacrifice for the greater good of those u are supposed to be responsible for.
Listen, I can appreciate him trying to see things from a different perspective and be non-judgmental. I really can. But all he gave was a bunch of rationalizations and justifications for poor character and decision making. No one HAS to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in. If you're a person of low integrity and are too much of a coward to speak your truth, that you don't want to be married anymore, just say that! No, it's not more complicated than it seems. No, it's not different for men because "insert bullshit excuse blaming biology here"! No, there aren't any more layers to it. No, you're not the exception. Unless everyone is in agreement with the arrangement, you're wrong for doing what he described, so own it! 🧡
you're agreeing with him and don't even realize it. he never said cheating was ok. the question was, can a side become a main. he said its possible. I'm not sure what you heard.🤷🏿♂️
Honestly you've confirmed why women stay stuck to a man who's in love with someone else. You have a whole man explaining to you how men don't view things like women and you still want to dismiss the truth. Alotnifbmen marry for Convenience and people grow apart. You have to accept that
@ARye The King I told you exactly what I heard; excuses for poor behavior and decision making, selfishness, and deception. I don't know what YOU heard, tho!
@Infiniti Empress I misunderstood your comment at first, but I think I get what you're saying. If he's too much of a coward to let go of the marriage (and let's be honest, why would he if he's eating his cake and having it, too 🤷🏾♀️), then we should be willing to walk away. Actually, we shouldn't even be marrying men who find us "convenient"!
@@OrangeMoonGoddess You heard wrong. He said multiple times cheating is wrong. the question presented was can a side become a main. you never addressed that in your comment. yet that's literally the only thing the post was about. 🤦🏾♂️
Hell just go for me. I don't want no man forcing himself to stay with me, because he was no longer mine the minute he took interest in someone else. Let's be adults about it.
All of them are correct, it depends on the situation and people involved. Either that's not a position I want to be in. And for the people saying that what the last guy said is BS, we have a very public case about a side piece that become the main one, and she's now a queen.
I mentioned Camilla in my comment. Camilla has just now become queen in her 70's. But she looks horrible and has faced open disgrace on a world wide scale because of the scandal that precededed their marriage. She didn't win at anything. It's sad really. He may have loved her, but he didn't value her because he made her sloppy seconds. Really sloppy... Lol. And is love really worth tearing apart families? Is it worth shaming and degrading your own self. Is it worth waiting years for a man/woman who is already living the family life reality with someone else and hiding you. Fact is love is a choice we make. It's action... not feeling. And most people don't love well at all. And we call too many things love that are anything but...! If our standards get any lower in today's society we'll be living in pig pens and eating slop with the pigs too.
This has become nothing but a generational curse!! Men and women just need to say “I break this curse off my family” and stop going after other options!!
The lesson is have your head on straight feel secure in yourself and there won't be a "side chic". People can always move on. If not they're just being a coward. They want their cake and eat it too. Rinse and repeat. Don't be a side chick and don't have a side chick. What seperates the men from the boys is morals and integrity. PERIOD.❤
Women tell themselves a lot of fallacies about men to pacify their hurt feelings. This is one. Every single day men leave the "main" and go be with/marry the "side" and remain faithful to her bc that's who he really wants!! Y'all like to put 100 on 10 when it comes to being a "main" but if he got a side, you're really not even the main!!! Men will get a woman who they think they need then later on meet the woman they want! It's dudes in love with their side everyday B. Y'all keep trying to paint cheating with a broad brush and the truth is, it's all kinda scenarios. Shit Evelyn Braxton still mad as a mfer bc that man left n never looked back and still with that woman some 30 years later. Stop placating yourselves with disproven theories.
There are no scenarios. He doesn't love neither one. And that's what this video should have said. Once that man cheats and leave you for the side, he doesn't love the side either. He's a lover of himself and will always do for self. A true narcissist
Bernie said it best on Waiting to Exhale...Never get Fkn married. WTF I get stuck with your children, making your house a home, because you had to marry me, settle for me, because we have children together and you don't even like me. I waste my entire life with the wrong man thinking he is for me when he is secretly in love with another woman, adoring her, loving her, wanting her, choosing her...and you think you are doing me a favor...Father please give me the spirit of discernment...give me the ability to see who is really about me not my ability to raise his progeny...What kind of hell is that?
Never! If he cheating on his wife/gf with a side chick he can do it to her also. Even if he done with main and the side chick becomes "the one" as soon as she mess up its too easy to go to another. If you feel like ya mans is cheating either work that out or leave. Please don't be fooled by social media
They all made valid points but truth is this what the heart wants is what the heart wants whether men or women fall in love with their side piece it happens all the time
Finally someone who said what Ive been saying. You can’t base your relationship off of what other people say on social media. Different strokes for different folks. There’s so many people in this world and so many different situations ppl be on
U can't base them on social media, but there should be a moral standard by which you conduct your life. If you are knowingly dealing with a taken person on the side, you are aiding them with deceit and disloyalty. It shows that you're willing to sell your values just to feel good. Or either you lack them to begin with.
I’ve met side chicks who became the main and lived happily ever after with the man. One in particular the wife was on dope and cheating on him with her dealer. They had two little kids. He stayed a while for the kids sake until it was too much. He left with the kids and he and the side got married a year later and she’s raising the kids as her own and they have one of their own as well.
That sounds like one of the very few exceptions to the rule. If she was a drug addict, she definitely wasn't fully available to be a wife. He had a right to move on with his life, he was just legally bound to a bad situation.
The moment when you take a break from exclusively watching Christian content to see what's going on in the world and see you are missing absolutely nothing lol
A person will never behave consistently in a way that's inconsistent with their programming. If disloyalty is what they are programmed for then thats what they will do.
Who is he? 😂 I’ve seen him in a few shorts and I love the way he thinks and speaks truth. Extremely attractive!!! I’m a woman who prefers truth over hurt feelings. I’ll get over hurt feelings and I know how to process them but if I’m moving off of false information then I’m moving like a fool and that is unacceptable
He said, "you have no idea what the dude and the side chick building over there." 😂😂😂😂 If they were building with their wives and their marriages then the side piece wouldn't exist within the marriage. Face it ladies. Some men value you for being wives but their hearts are really with the side chicks. Lmao. Which is why we are more than likely seeing side chick behavior everywhere. Side chicks get the time, no responsibility of raising kids, the companionship, shit he'll probably spend his off days with the side piece. The wife signed up for her husband and family but was met with her emotional, mental, and physical needs being unmet. Not only that, after he has used you and justified the use by saying you chose to marry him; he will deny obligations to care for you as a wife after the kids are grown. But he will move forward with the side chick. The side chick avoided all the emotional turmoil just to have the man in the end. And the wife still dying alone. 😂😂😂😂😂 They say they want prenuptial agreements too. Now y'all ain't even left with nothing. He can request within the agreement that in his passing you can't pursue anyone for his estate 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Imagine.
@@InfinitiEmpressNo they didn't because she doesn't even have the career she could've or used to have. She basically sacrificed her own honor, integrity, self respect and career to be with a man that owns her.
Sure it can happen but chances are, how you got him/her is how you’ll lose them. Especially if the person hasn’t discovered a sense of purpose or been through therapy to understand their behaviors, habits, triggers and traumas
My man was married for 15 years and had a so called bestie for 10 years . Soon as he met me the true flame , his marriage was over and he divorced both females , they was mad . Even doing black magic love spells , it didn’t work . Im his only , we stay together and we have a family , the ex wife nor did the side chick aka bestie give him children. All them years both those chicks wasted just for lil ole me to come in and marry him and him love and honor me . Ladies it’s lots of men out here you don’t have to be a side chick for nothing . I set boundaries and lead with love and truth , God is all in my marriage. Black women please stop being the side chick and go where you are loved . It’s ok if the man who love you is not a black man , black women get caught up in the black love stuff . Just love your dark skin and go where your dark skin is praised and loved ,
Yall don't want good black men that build, Yall want thugs and badboys. Who raised these black men? Yall raise the same types of men Yall complain about. have seen it too many times. Lots of these American women procreate with guys who are destroying the community, that's why so many convicted felons have multiple babymamas. Decent men should get their passports and leave American women alone.
People have no idea what it really takes to be a wife, a good wife. This is why you don’t understand why this conversation is so insulting to good women
Unfortunately it’s mostly the good women that end up in situations like this. You can check all the boxes but if they want to step out, they will…a person does what they want even if it hurts the one they “love”
I feel like if it starts off in deceitfully then that’s how it’s gone end and sidechicks never win. Yes, some men do marry their sidechick but we don’t know if they are really happy or not!
The big bearded dude is always one of the realest on this panel. The dude is mostly always on point. The bald headed guy didn't even take time to internalize the question je just blurted NO ...when his answer is TOTAL BS....OF COURSE SIDE CHICKS CAN EVENTUALLY BECOME MAIN CHICKS
Isn’t Steve Harvey’s wife a former side chick? Alicia Keys? Gabriel Union? That news guy that was fired from Good Morning America is now with his side chick and he proposed. This is not new information, people.
Men and women leave for the sidepiece all the time. Sometimes it works and most times it don’t. I personally think it’s a messy way to start a relationship and if someone would cheat on their partner with you what makes you so special that you can’t be cheated on
Right. The messiness of it all is what turns me off. You're starting out with a foundation of distrust. When the side becomes the main, oftentimes she lives in constant fear that he'll do the exact same to her.
The fact that black men and women are entertaining this shit is beyond me. Social media got people fukked up fr. Thought I was trippin’ for a minute but I’ve accepted the times. It just isn’t for me. This clearly entertainment based and not solution based. I tap out, Son of God gon’ sort out all this foolishness real soon
It’s possible. King Charles and Queen Camila. Talk about a come up 🤷🏽♀️ And I agree with Fontain. Plenty of men eventually leave or have left their main/wife for the side chick. People have their reasons. I know a few men that eventually left. It don’t have to make sense to anyone else why they did it.
this is call high frequency thinking... We have to start to think on a higher plain everything is not just surface.. some things are divine. We have to cut the low level thinking.
So basically he's saying that a man will keep two women in a horrible situation because divorce is hard and his wife is needed for child rearing... but he "truly loves" his girlfriend and will prove it in about 15 years... after his wife has wasted her youth on his dishonest toxic foolishness? 🤦🏾♀️ I'd rather die alone than deal with this silliness
I seen it happen. My daughter‘s grandfather raises his family made sure his wife was financially good, and then left and went with the side chick and married her. One of my girlfriends that how she got her husband. She was a side chick he was married when they first started dating, and he married her, but for me I can’t do it I get so attached I’m a whole Taurus and possession is part of my DNA so you gotta be all mine!🧐🙄🥰
@CHICAGO STEPPERS W/ Lady Margaret Oh don't I know lbs! I know Chicago ISN'T #1 on crime, I tell people that everyday. There are a lot of kids born by married people spouses even from the 60's.I've talked to a lot of those old thots who tried covering their old ways but, their ways still came out through their kids. Sad part about it is a lot of those old elders I paid attention to were from the south Georgia, Tennessee and Alabama being the hometown where they were from. The things I've witnessed those elders doing says a lot. They partaked in drug sells and street fights too because, i ran to them when i got kicked out by an abusive parent (not dad) who ran w/the narrative that having a baby at 16 were grounds to kick me out. So when i ran to these elders thinking they were like the elders in my family only to see they were farrrrrrrr away from my upbringing even with me having an narcissistic parent. Their ways could NEVER compare to the upbringing my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles taught us. They also were the people their own families didn't want to be bothered with. The saddest part about it is those elders were all women who bragged about taking men then until I alert them of the punishment they're going through with their kids. Problems like not growing up aways from the drug dealer lifestyle, shootings, using people, bullying people in the neighborhoods, mainly poverty, etc. I could go on and on about what I experienced w/them. That's when I realized a lot of them were pretty much chased from their towns because, of the reputation they gave themselves before they made it to Chicago and BOOM Chicago is taken over by a bunch of Jezebel mothers who ran from home, resided in Chicago and the cycle repeats which is why Chicago doesn't have a high marriage rate amongst blks. I know maybe 1 or 2 guys from the south who admits to the infidelity but, they ended up getting married and staying married. Afa those elder women No man wanted them w/their ignorant ways and bad ass kids. In some cases the bad ass kids and grandkids doesn't want to be bothered w/her unless she's drunk and acting out w/them. Most cases that elder woman is sitting in the house waiting to give hell to the only person who "has" to be bothered (her caretaker). In the end she dies leaving no form of productive legacy other then been a that and still a wreckless name for herself. I've seen it far too many times in Chicago! Chicago has soooooooo much to offer but, these elders kids has F it up for many!!! Which is why some of them live to go back home, having the nerves to talk down on Chicago as if they weren't the problem and their Karma isn't gonna catch up w/them. And we all see the Karma... A BloodBath!!!!
There are several examples of side chicke who became main chicks. Angelina Jolie. Alicia Keys. Mary J Blige. LeAnn Rimes. Khloe Kardashian. List goes on, so yes it's very possible. Not sure why people think it doesn't happen.
Men try to make it seem like they change for the better if they end up with the side chick, when they really be cheating on them too. Ladies if your man leaves you for a side chick, those side chicks are not treated any better than you. They just hide their sh** to not look like idiots. 😂
Ladies! Please never be dependent on A man to take care of you or the children you create with him. Always put yourself on a position to take care of you and your children. When someone know that you need them they’ll never treat you like you deserve to be treated. If your husband loved and respected you he wouldn’t let another woman get close enough to partake in his betrayal of you. I’m not putting up with any type of infidelity. I’ll pack his shit up and pay for it to be delivered to her door.
Women hate this but a man will leave you and become the man you always wanted or thought of him to be. A lot of times its due to the side chick or new woman
If you feel like she isnt elevating you, why do you need to wait until the next train to hop off and then hop back on a different train? That is a character flaw within yourself bcus it doesnt seem like you cant reconize on your own you arent growing or being fulfilled with that person until a new one comes along.
@@03cornbread this isn’t necessarily true. I know how to grow alone. But it takes some time to find out your mate didn’t or doesn’t bring out the best in you. This was for the women who will feel like that man owes her his new life because that’s what she wanted from him and felt she deserved because of however long they dealt with each other. I just went through this from a 9 year relationship.
I think ppl hear the term side chick and immediately think of cheating but I think the point of the OP was that everyone has different & complex relationship dynamics... You can love and value someone who isn't your main partner & never cross the line of infidelity. And when the time to end your main relationship comes go be with the person who you've valued but haven't been able to engage with or commit to
You can't be IN LOVE with someone without the cheating part. U opening up emotionally to someone IS emotional cheating and is also unhealthy boundaryless behavior.
The part that sticks out while he’s stating how the side chick can become the main chick is exhausting. Why hold up your life waiting on his kids to grow up and his wife to become financially stable before he leaves to choose you is tragic. You will go through so many life’s seasons missing your person over and over again, while waiting on that lady’s husband. Choose yourself !!!
Like Sister Shahrazad Ali said, "sometimes, that's just his other woman". If a man has been in another relationship for 5, 10, 15 years with her, it's obvious that she's not a side chick he's just smashing. If you want true monogamy, you're going to have to get the men y'all skip over (average men). The top level men have never had just 1 woman in the history of Earth. There's only one Prince Charming...he just had Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. 🤷🏾♂️
There’s a saying when it comes to these things. Truth is subjective meaning my truth may not be your truth and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder meaning what I think is attractive you may not agree. Moral of the story is stop trying to fit in peoples boxes, learn how to better communicate YOUR needs and expectations and not just some shit you’ve heard others regurgitating, and learn how to be truly happy! If your single be happily single. And I mean so much so that you never find yourself judging people who have relationships because you’re so happily single. Mind the business that pays you. We are all adults now and should be able to agree to disagree and still be happy. So why are we all not happy? Why is there constantly a condescending conversation in what men/women should be doing?
Guys, if you're even entertaining the thought of finding a side chick either leave the relationship or fix it. Ladies if you want to know if you're the main just ask him if you can spend time with his family.
I like when Tripp said, “Learn to leave people tf alone”. This goes for dating, married, children, etc. Life’s too short to try to force a partnership and try to force sex and or love. Forgive out the best exit and even coparenting strategies. You will be better individuals and if you’re parents, your will be able to grow more capacity to be a better parent, hopefully both. But even one healthy and happy parent is better than a toxic relationship parenting a children. Everyone deserves better. Life is too long and life is too short for that shit. Kids need to see parents set the example of not settling in discontent incompatibility.
Tripp is right however, As the saying goes if he did it with you he will do it to you. When # 2 becomes # 1 she must keep in mind her "old" position in NOW OPEN.
If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you. He may end up with the side chick, but he’ll have another one once the side chick becomes the main. It never fails. He just hasn’t had to deal with the side chick the same way he has had to deal with his wife. The side chick seems adventurous because they don’t live their everyday lives together. The side chick will become his new normal and now he’s gonna get his excitement from a new piece of a$$. You won’t be the only one. So keep thinking you can take someone else’s man… he’s only choosing you cause you’re not considered his regular dose yet. Once you become regular to him, he will find someone else on the side.
If your situation is different let it be your situation...dont let this conversation be your confirmation...the answer should still be "No" going forward
My husband left me for the side chick. Yet he still wants to be with me and how he regrets what he’s done till this day. I blocked his ass. Side chick can have him. Anything built off of lies and deceit and built on another woman’s tears will eventually fall. It won’t stand. He will cheat on her too. Any man that can cheat on you or cheat with you doesn’t love neither parties involved. When you truly love a person you would never betray them or hurt them.
I get the ‘if he can do it with you, he’ll do it to you’. BUT every and any man is capable of cheating. Everyone on this planet in fact, if the right circumstances / person comes along so stop fooling yourselves with that statement
He is telling nothing but the truth...Just cause he cheated on you with her doesn't mean he's going to cheat on her... Women wanna be so angry at the other woman, instead of spending time looking at self...Stop going so hard on the side chic's wives, cause I know it's hard to fathom, but some of y'all husband's are still with you cause of the side chic's 🧐...
My mother and father relationship started on unscrupulous terms. And when his original marriage was over he married her and they continue to marry until his death 50 years later
So tell it and don't keep it a secret...give the other party the respect of FULL DISCLOSURE about the "SITUATIONSHIP" . Then you can plan the motion TOGETHER. If its a side thing there's an ADVANTAGE.
Yeah but If one wants to justify the 'move' give the other party the opportunity to plan their next move or agree to the terms... Let's keep it business and diplomatic.
The state of the world is in shambles. I might as well wait until my daughter is grown to date again because folks are saying anything these days. 😂 Anything built on a faulty foundation will eventually FALL. Just saying 😅
I dont know why we are here but I know its not to play mind games, and waste peoples time. People need to really think about what happens spiritually when you intentionally waste someone's precious time with deceitful behavior. Karma is real we dont get away with anything. 💌💝💌
Tripp is a trip😊.. I love the purely honest outlook on reality. It is helpful on many different levels. His lover should be immensely grateful ❤ I kno I would be. No pun intended 😌
I love these convos because it allows me to get in folk mind but hunty i am so thankful to the Lord Jesus Christ that i am single and i am at rest to stay like this! Whew Chile😂
But on the other hand, he’s kind of right 🫣 I actually know a man who’s literally living a double life and has been for over 20 years smh. He has 4 kids with his wife, 4 kids with his wife who I call his 2nd wife, and yes she’s knew he was married and still dealt with him slept with him and had children with him for all of those years, 2 homes with each one, vacations, does holidays and family outings with both and for the life of me I dont know why. He says the 2nd wife gives him all the validation and support but he’s scared the 1st wife will take all his money if he leaves so he said she’ll find out when he dies and he won’t be here 🤷🏾♀️
@@lyndavialetthat's evil. The fact that he said " she find out when I die" just shows that. If you know, why won't you tell his wife. His ACTUAL wife. The first one. Technically the 2ecd one isnt even valid. Your complicit and letting it go on. He deserves to be outed. Someone told me that, you bet your ass I'm telling his wife and his family. The ones that are IN THE DARK. The fact that bitch knows and is not bothered makes her so much evil. They deserved to be so publicly shamed.
If the side chick is his peace and continues to be his peace then she can definitely become the main. She'll probably be a lot more understanding of him having a side chick if she becomes the main. She will do anything to please him because she wants to keep her spots.
No she will not. She's only understanding because he doesn't have the same level of accountability, responsibility, nor pressure that comes with having his family. If he marries the side chick, it will change the dynamics of the relationship and the level responsibility he has, especially if children from the marriage are involved. And the side chick now wife will always wonder if there is another side chick.
@@mzyotruthnlove8263 I was speaking from experience. I had a girlfriend before I married my current wife. Was dating both for a while but broke with my main and my side become my main. Been together 15 years now. So it's definitely possible
Just be playing, side chicks are winning every time. They get more for less! Diana raise those children for Charles and Camilla gets to be queen! It’s not right but it is what it is!
This is why I prefer ethical non monogamy. If done correctly, there won’t be a side chick main chick because everybody knows about each other. I get that it’s not for everyone though and lots of people prefer monogamy. Just don’t hurt peoples feelings in the process. Learn to communicate and comprehend as well as listen deeply
Yasssss. I watch my cat run home with 4 male cats. We sat on the porch and watch them fight. Soon as the big black cat came only one battle him "lost" now she pregnant. I wish I would compete with a bish or a confused man
LOL WHY DO PPL ALWAYS SAY HE'LL CHEAT ON YOU TOO? NOT IN ALL CASES. SOME WOMEN AND MEN ARE ACTUALLY MISERABLE IN THE MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAIN AND JUST NOT MEANT TO BE. IT IS VERY POSSIBLE FOR ONE TO BE FAITHFUL IN THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP. NOT SAYING I AGREE WITH CHEATING. BUT THE MAIN AIN'T ALWAYS BETTER ITS JUST CHEAPER TO KEEP HER. LOL. IJS
A man that finds himself in a situation. That's terrible because a man will put himself in those situations. I don't believe men are able to love and be faithful. What he does with you he'll do to you. He can say his heart is wherever that's because he's being served what he wants at that time.
YES she can, because in MANY instances the SIDE chick doesn't even know SHE'S the SIDE chick, These Dudes will have you believing you the main chick and they be cheating on her with you and on you with everybody else.
At this point singleness seems to be the best option.
😂😂😂
Is!
IKR
I'm not mad at all at anyone with this logic as too many people are just goofy at best.
For real girl! I have legit come to this conclusion!
He's saying what a lot of people, especially women don't want to hear. He's not saying it's a definite yes, and it's probably a very small percentage, but there are times when a side/mistress becomes the main and it works.
People have to remember that people get married or are in relationships for different reasons and it ain't always because for love. There also a difference between loving someone and being IN LOVE with someone. TC had an episode where they also talked about people loving their partner due to "marriage" but not LIKING them as a person. At the end of the day, people need to be upfront at the BEGINNING of relationships about their needs, wants, values, and feelings. And not let family or society pressure them.
I agree 100%
This!! Even ppl in the comments...likely women are trying to debunk what he said but this happens every single day. Now not every man that's cheating is leaving for a "happier" home but quite a few are. And yes, they remain faithful bc that's who they want to be with. Annnd this is how we know it's true-bc women will hold on tight to a man they know wants to be elsewhere but won't let go bc they don't wanna see the other women "win." Many a woman are miserable rn in a relationship with a man in love with someone else but he is staying bc of his sense of duty and the woman is too egomaniacal to just let his ass go. Exactly what you said about love v in love. There are instances where a man loves the main but in love with the side.
📠📠📠
Now that's REAL 💯 GOD BLESS & ✌🏽
Like a friend of mine married her side, dude! She was in a serious relationship with his friend for 10 years, had a child, and everything! But dude, was her true soul mate 20 years p still going with their own child!
Imagine you waiting for your turn to become the main chick. Years down the drain
😂😂😂
💀😂😂😂🤣💯
Years down the gutter 😂
Welp, women want men other women want. 😂
Yaaas 😂
Finally, a man that told the truth and not some feel good bs of “she’s just garden tool” , or “If he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you!” The truth is, every situation is different. Women can cheat and fall in love with the side too. We’re human at the end of the day. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it happens all the time. This is the reason I don’t stay with cheaters. That depressing mental energy of comparison is not worth it.
It happens all thee time!!!
Staying with a cheat or being a side piece is bogus
Sounds like you’re a main, formerly known as a side chick😂
Right!!
Then stop leading women on,waste their time and energy. So,use her strength,comfort and stability to futher your agenda and then when opportunities present itself, you bounce to now be with the woman you love all along? The lack of morals and integrity baffle me!!!
Why would you be "in love" with someone who is a habitual liar and thus can't be trusted? That goes for the man and the side chick or even the woman and the side dude. It's not the cheating, it's the lying and withholding of the truth that is the most despicable, diabolical, and destructive aspect of the entire situation. It should eat away at your soul. And if it doesn't, you're nothing more than a narcissist. I've said my peace ✌️
I totally agree.
Exactly!!! Smdh
This!!!
Very Well Put!
I’m a half Narc 🥹
Lmao this is embarrassing imagine trying to be the "main chick" from a looser that cheats on his significant other. There's plenty of good men out there. Ladies learn to higher your standards.
Imagine being the loser who stays in a relationship with a man cheating on you...esp when you know he really wants to be over there with said side.
@@cjohnson_ See, this is what I was taking about in my other comment. Your focus is on the wrong person, Boo! She didn't do anything wrong, HE DID! Why are you holding her to the standard of knowing when to leave, but not him equally? ! The only person she's lying to is herself. He lying to everybody, just to get his way.
@@OrangeMoonGoddess the assumption is it’s a lie. Not much of a lie if everyone knows. Some people do it to keep up appearances, for comfort, for status, stability, some men to prevent financial ruin or perhaps it’s an understanding your life partner physically can’t for whatever the reason. I’ve heard it from far too many older women, they married young for love, the second time was for financial security. They’ll marry and ignore almost anything if taken care of.
@Cornelius Small I understand what you're describing, and I agree. What you're describing is an arrangement where everyone is in agreement. It may be a silent agreement, but it's still an agreement. I've seen several marriages with that arrangement. Usually, with older generations because those women had fewer access to resources than younger women do today. Perhaps THOSE are the women who will do "anything" to be financially secure.
But we're living in different times now, and such is no longer the case. Let's also not pretend that the vast majority of times, this is done in secret where lies and deceit are involved. Being afraid of financial ruin, afraid of appearance or afraid of whatever consequence is NOT an excuse for this type of arrangement IF all parties are not in agreement with the arrangement.
He ain't no loser if he can attract two women who is fighting for his affection & attention. Stop with the shaming language
Sometimes, that is true, but I know someone who was the side chick for 15 - 20 years, and once the kids graduated, he left his wife to be with her. Well, 3 years later, and he's newly divorced... he started doing the exact same thing to her. Now she's single, still coping, and he has a new girlfriend. Don't ever think that you'll replace the wife. It's a 50/50 chance, but you set your own self up when you date a married man or woman and have those expectations. Because in the beginning, before any feelings set in, it's mostly lies and all about getting sex. (Just my opinion) 🤷🏾♀️
Wow!!! This was a good read. I have so many questions lol. You’re right though, it’s a 50/50 chance. I have a male friend that’s about to marry his side chick (fiancé now). She and I were talking, she mentioned how she’s always reminding him how loyal they promised to remain to each other. I thought it was funny how she expects loyalty from a man that cheated with her. Aside from the fact that she was the side chick, she has all ready seen other signs that he may treat her the same as he did his first wife. Not that she doesn’t deserve loyalty, but you have to look at the obvious. Love is a hell of a drug
@patriciacollins4651 Sadly, she keep asking because deep down inside, she knew she was wrong for dating that married man, and she's looking for reassurance that he won't do the same to her. And the unfortunate thing, she can't even pray to God for that union because he didn't bring them together. But, I don't know their whole situation. Hopefully, he doesn't hurt her
That part. Get them how u loss them
That's why they say that a cheater isn't a prize. He'll cheat on the "upgraded side chick," too.
She did replace the wife and got out. Problem is the nasty dude running thru women.
At what point do we handle situations like mature adults and let go?
At some point, being a coward who's too afraid to end the relationship
...... became masculine? 🤷🏾♀️
@@OrangeMoonGoddess this!!!
💝I believe this the part everyone missing. You have to let go
If men/women could break up with each other without arguing, crying, name calling etc. Things would be different. Just like both the cheater and faithful person should be mature enough to know when to leave. The same should go for when you hear something you don't like. How many men/women do you know hear their spouse say "it's over" and they are accepting of it?? Fight or flight. It's human nature to actually avoid conflict, stress, strife or tumultuous situations.
If you're in the black community ...never
He’s absolutely right! Don’t be smugg because you could have no Idea. As a counselor I have seen it happen more times than I can count.
It happens all of the time. It’s not right at all. Everyone knows if you don’t want to be with someone then leaving is the best option… but many times the actions don’t line up with what a person knows is the right thing to do.
The right thing many times is the hard thing. ***Even worse there are men and women who have gotten married and they do not love who they are with. That’s sad.
Sometimes the side chick does become the main chick. People grow and sometimes grow apart… but let’s talk about the women who is willing to be a side chick. That has to be a depressing role.
sad really
Maybe not because more than likely he's meeting her every need and vice versa,because she's his safe haven peace of mind, but some chick's are just that side sex,no disrespect intended, those in these circumstances know the difference.
@@ruh-ul-qudussaid8446"she's his safe haven and peace of mind"
Give me a break. That's what the man tells the side so that she feels validated because she "succeeded" where another women didn't. She isn't those things to him. He just says that so she keeps hoping that one day all her hard work will pay off if/when he leaves his main for her. He is stringing her along.
Besides, there is no goddamn way that cheating brings true peace into anyone's life. The lying, the hiding, the manipulating, having to constantly face the guilt of cheating..... No way can someone (who isn't an uncaring sociopath) could find peace in that.
Also, for any man who is willing to cheat for that long, no woman will ever give him enough love, peace, good treatment, sex, blowjobs, or home cooked meals to earn his full commitment because a man like that will never fully commit to anyone.
Finally, any man who lies to his main that much for that long will absolutely do the same thing to his side, even if his side ends up "upgrading" to being the main.
Yes. I'm sure it has to be depressing. I'm sure for both. It's not fair to them.
If that's the case, why be married and "stay for the kids" if that isn't where your head and heart was from the beginning? Why make excuses? If your happiness is with someone else, don't kill someone with a lie when you can just as easily free them with the truth 🤷🏾♀️.
Exactly
Again… it’s not right but men and women do it every single day. And it only ends up causing unnecessary pain.
Facts
Some people really don't want to put their kids through the b*******.
I don't think that cheating is the answer....
But some people really feel that they are willing to sacrifice parts of their "happiness" so that their children can have better statistical outcomes.
I personally think it is selfishness to bring a kid into this world and destroy their family, just so you can go lay up with somebody else.
People do it all the time,but it is a pretty selfish and terrible thing to do. Imo
Life ain't always about happiness and sometimes you have to sacrifice for the greater good of those u are supposed to be responsible for.
He explained why some still stay, but their heart is with someone else. Happens a lot!
Listen, I can appreciate him trying to see things from a different perspective and be non-judgmental. I really can. But all he gave was a bunch of rationalizations and justifications for poor character and decision making. No one HAS to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in. If you're a person of low integrity and are too much of a coward to speak your truth, that you don't want to be married anymore, just say that!
No, it's not more complicated than it seems. No, it's not different for men because "insert bullshit excuse blaming biology here"! No, there aren't any more layers to it. No, you're not the exception. Unless everyone is in agreement with the arrangement, you're wrong for doing what he described, so own it! 🧡
you're agreeing with him and don't even realize it. he never said cheating was ok. the question was, can a side become a main. he said its possible. I'm not sure what you heard.🤷🏿♂️
Honestly you've confirmed why women stay stuck to a man who's in love with someone else. You have a whole man explaining to you how men don't view things like women and you still want to dismiss the truth. Alotnifbmen marry for Convenience and people grow apart. You have to accept that
@ARye The King I told you exactly what I heard; excuses for poor behavior and decision making, selfishness, and deception. I don't know what YOU heard, tho!
@Infiniti Empress I misunderstood your comment at first, but I think I get what you're saying. If he's too much of a coward to let go of the marriage (and let's be honest, why would he if he's eating his cake and having it, too 🤷🏾♀️), then we should be willing to walk away. Actually, we shouldn't even be marrying men who find us "convenient"!
@@OrangeMoonGoddess You heard wrong. He said multiple times cheating is wrong. the question presented was can a side become a main. you never addressed that in your comment. yet that's literally the only thing the post was about. 🤦🏾♂️
Hell just go for me. I don't want no man forcing himself to stay with me, because he was no longer mine the minute he took interest in someone else. Let's be adults about it.
All of them are correct, it depends on the situation and people involved. Either that's not a position I want to be in.
And for the people saying that what the last guy said is BS, we have a very public case about a side piece that become the main one, and she's now a queen.
Who are you talking about? And where can I find this full episode?
@@lovelykiyah7415 King Charles and Queen Consort Camilla over in England.
I mentioned Camilla in my comment. Camilla has just now become queen in her 70's. But she looks horrible and has faced open disgrace on a world wide scale because of the scandal that precededed their marriage. She didn't win at anything. It's sad really. He may have loved her, but he didn't value her because he made her sloppy seconds. Really sloppy... Lol.
And is love really worth tearing apart families? Is it worth shaming and degrading your own self. Is it worth waiting years for a man/woman who is already living the family life reality with someone else and hiding you.
Fact is love is a choice we make. It's action... not feeling. And most people don't love well at all. And we call too many things love that are anything but...!
If our standards get any lower in today's society we'll be living in pig pens and eating slop with the pigs too.
This has become nothing but a generational curse!! Men and women just need to say “I break this curse off my family” and stop going after other options!!
Absolutely!
Bingo
The lesson is have your head on straight feel secure in yourself and there won't be a "side chic". People can always move on. If not they're just being a coward. They want their cake and eat it too. Rinse and repeat. Don't be a side chick and don't have a side chick. What seperates the men from the boys is morals and integrity. PERIOD.❤
Exactly!
Say it again so positive so wonderful.
@erintt9840 People need to be good to people and heal their shit...right?!💖💖💖
Women tell themselves a lot of fallacies about men to pacify their hurt feelings. This is one. Every single day men leave the "main" and go be with/marry the "side" and remain faithful to her bc that's who he really wants!! Y'all like to put 100 on 10 when it comes to being a "main" but if he got a side, you're really not even the main!!! Men will get a woman who they think they need then later on meet the woman they want! It's dudes in love with their side everyday B. Y'all keep trying to paint cheating with a broad brush and the truth is, it's all kinda scenarios. Shit Evelyn Braxton still mad as a mfer bc that man left n never looked back and still with that woman some 30 years later. Stop placating yourselves with disproven theories.
There are no scenarios. He doesn't love neither one. And that's what this video should have said. Once that man cheats and leave you for the side, he doesn't love the side either. He's a lover of himself and will always do for self. A true narcissist
It's been disproven countless times and they still refuse to accept reality.
@@marsha-madness-super-badness whew! And I get it bc it's harsh but like you said, it's disproven every single day
No. Stop. There are precisely ZERO scenarios where cheating is ok. It's ALWAYS wrong. Always. Always. Always.
@@badwolf3618 you lack reading comprehension and that's also wrong yet here we are 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
Bernie said it best on Waiting to Exhale...Never get Fkn married. WTF I get stuck with your children, making your house a home, because you had to marry me, settle for me, because we have children together and you don't even like me. I waste my entire life with the wrong man thinking he is for me when he is secretly in love with another woman, adoring her, loving her, wanting her, choosing her...and you think you are doing me a favor...Father please give me the spirit of discernment...give me the ability to see who is really about me not my ability to raise his progeny...What kind of hell is that?
And these are the same men who will talk about a prenup. Waist your life on them and walk away with nothing but trauma.
FINALLY a married woman speaking her REAL truth.
Most men are narcissists therefore they are incapable of love.
That was some real ninja sh!t. I wish I would compete over some confused man. Chile, he's yours we gone be alright
❤❤
Thank you
Never! If he cheating on his wife/gf with a side chick he can do it to her also. Even if he done with main and the side chick becomes "the one" as soon as she mess up its too easy to go to another. If you feel like ya mans is cheating either work that out or leave. Please don't be fooled by social media
Thank you...👏
Easier way to put it: Once a cheater always a cheater.
❤❤❤ to think they think the guy in this video is a real man & then there's men like you. Thank you
They all made valid points but truth is this what the heart wants is what the heart wants whether men or women fall in love with their side piece it happens all the time
Finally someone who said what Ive been saying. You can’t base your relationship off of what other people say on social media. Different strokes for different folks. There’s so many people in this world and so many different situations ppl be on
Yep. Evidently the truth hurts.
U can't base them on social media, but there should be a moral standard by which you conduct your life.
If you are knowingly dealing with a taken person on the side, you are aiding them with deceit and disloyalty. It shows that you're willing to sell your values just to feel good. Or either you lack them to begin with.
That's one of those hard truths. It can happen.
Look it yall, there should be no main chick/side chick dynamic; the woman you love should be the ONLY chick. Damn!
I’ve met side chicks who became the main and lived happily ever after with the man. One in particular the wife was on dope and cheating on him with her dealer. They had two little kids. He stayed a while for the kids sake until it was too much. He left with the kids and he and the side got married a year later and she’s raising the kids as her own and they have one of their own as well.
That’s beautiful. ❤
That sounds like one of the very few exceptions to the rule. If she was a drug addict, she definitely wasn't fully available to be a wife. He had a right to move on with his life, he was just legally bound to a bad situation.
The moment when you take a break from exclusively watching Christian content to see what's going on in the world and see you are missing absolutely nothing lol
I thought I was the only one 😅
@@SparklingOnyx 🤣🤣🤣
Thank God 😅
Say that again
Yeah this is sick and it’s called adultery 😂
A person will never behave consistently in a way that's inconsistent with their programming. If disloyalty is what they are programmed for then thats what they will do.
Talk about lack of accountability. He described a selfish and terrible man.
I know cats personally who left for the side chick and never cheated and was the happiest so
@@lurkingindacomments7865what if the side was a dream and the main just wasnt it no more. It’s case by case, situation by situation.
I am sure those examples exist, but are most certainly the exception, not the rule.
There are always anomolies. However, as the ole saying goes: you'll loose him how you got him. And dnt think that woman dnt play the long game either
Who is he? 😂 I’ve seen him in a few shorts and I love the way he thinks and speaks truth. Extremely attractive!!! I’m a woman who prefers truth over hurt feelings. I’ll get over hurt feelings and I know how to process them but if I’m moving off of false information then I’m moving like a fool and that is unacceptable
Tripp Fontane...and I agree 💯 He's not arrogant like the first clown that responded 🙄 I don't even know his name but Kita gets him together everytime😂
He said, "you have no idea what the dude and the side chick building over there."
😂😂😂😂
If they were building with their wives and their marriages then the side piece wouldn't exist within the marriage.
Face it ladies. Some men value you for being wives but their hearts are really with the side chicks. Lmao. Which is why we are more than likely seeing side chick behavior everywhere.
Side chicks get the time, no responsibility of raising kids, the companionship, shit he'll probably spend his off days with the side piece.
The wife signed up for her husband and family but was met with her emotional, mental, and physical needs being unmet.
Not only that, after he has used you and justified the use by saying you chose to marry him; he will deny obligations to care for you as a wife after the kids are grown. But he will move forward with the side chick.
The side chick avoided all the emotional turmoil just to have the man in the end. And the wife still dying alone. 😂😂😂😂😂
They say they want prenuptial agreements too. Now y'all ain't even left with nothing. He can request within the agreement that in his passing you can't pursue anyone for his estate 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Imagine.
Just remember you can’t build a home on to a rocky foundation it will always crumble. So enjoy it while it’s standing it will crumble.
Listen, you would be surprised on how may houses and build in crappy foundation and going strong to this day, I don't recommend it though.
It doesn't always crumble. Alicia keys and Switz beats build a bigger empire
Only a matter of time. When with forced integrity, you only can hold out but so long. Or force to settle just to save face, but never truly happy
@@InfinitiEmpressNo they didn't because she doesn't even have the career she could've or used to have. She basically sacrificed her own honor, integrity, self respect and career to be with a man that owns her.
@@InfinitiEmpressbut behind the cameras 🎥 you don’t know if they are truly happy. Some people can mask their emotions really well.
Sure it can happen but chances are, how you got him/her is how you’ll lose them. Especially if the person hasn’t discovered a sense of purpose or been through therapy to understand their behaviors, habits, triggers and traumas
💯
My man was married for 15 years and had a so called bestie for 10 years . Soon as he met me the true flame , his marriage was over and he divorced both females , they was mad . Even doing black magic love spells , it didn’t work . Im his only , we stay together and we have a family , the ex wife nor did the side chick aka bestie give him children. All them years both those chicks wasted just for lil ole me to come in and marry him and him love and honor me . Ladies it’s lots of men out here you don’t have to be a side chick for nothing . I set boundaries and lead with love and truth , God is all in my marriage. Black women please stop being the side chick and go where you are loved . It’s ok if the man who love you is not a black man , black women get caught up in the black love stuff . Just love your dark skin and go where your dark skin is praised and loved ,
Now he didn’t miss a beat he spoke facts 💯
While bm sit up and talk about side chicks, men of other races are building their community. Sigh.
Yall don't want good black men that build, Yall want thugs and badboys. Who raised these black men? Yall raise the same types of men Yall complain about. have seen it too many times. Lots of these American women procreate with guys who are destroying the community, that's why so many convicted felons have multiple babymamas. Decent men should get their passports and leave American women alone.
Many men from all races do that.
1000000%
People have no idea what it really takes to be a wife, a good wife. This is why you don’t understand why this conversation is so insulting to good women
Unfortunately it’s mostly the good women that end up in situations like this. You can check all the boxes but if they want to step out, they will…a person does what they want even if it hurts the one they “love”
I feel like if it starts off in deceitfully then that’s how it’s gone end and sidechicks never win. Yes, some men do marry their sidechick but we don’t know if they are really happy or not!
The man never been happy. To cheat on the wife in the first place
The big bearded dude is always one of the realest on this panel. The dude is mostly always on point. The bald headed guy didn't even take time to internalize the question je just blurted NO ...when his answer is TOTAL BS....OF COURSE SIDE CHICKS CAN EVENTUALLY BECOME MAIN CHICKS
Isn’t Steve Harvey’s wife a former side chick? Alicia Keys? Gabriel Union? That news guy that was fired from Good Morning America is now with his side chick and he proposed. This is not new information, people.
And all of those men catching hell😂😂😂
I knew a few side chicks who became mains and are happily married , she was who the man wanted all along
Men and women leave for the sidepiece all the time. Sometimes it works and most times it don’t. I personally think it’s a messy way to start a relationship and if someone would cheat on their partner with you what makes you so special that you can’t be cheated on
Right. The messiness of it all is what turns me off. You're starting out with a foundation of distrust. When the side becomes the main, oftentimes she lives in constant fear that he'll do the exact same to her.
Just because it happens, doesn't mean it's right.
The fact that black men and women are entertaining this shit is beyond me. Social media got people fukked up fr. Thought I was trippin’ for a minute but I’ve accepted the times. It just isn’t for me. This clearly entertainment based and not solution based. I tap out, Son of God gon’ sort out all this foolishness real soon
Exactly. Just foolishness.
It’s possible. King Charles and Queen Camila. Talk about a come up 🤷🏽♀️ And I agree with Fontain. Plenty of men eventually leave or have left their main/wife for the side chick. People have their reasons. I know a few men that eventually left. It don’t have to make sense to anyone else why they did it.
this is call high frequency thinking... We have to start to think on a higher plain everything is not just surface.. some things are divine. We have to cut the low level thinking.
So basically he's saying that a man will keep two women in a horrible situation because divorce is hard and his wife is needed for child rearing... but he "truly loves" his girlfriend and will prove it in about 15 years... after his wife has wasted her youth on his dishonest toxic foolishness? 🤦🏾♀️
I'd rather die alone than deal with this silliness
I seen it happen. My daughter‘s grandfather raises his family made sure his wife was financially good, and then left and went with the side chick and married her. One of my girlfriends that how she got her husband. She was a side chick he was married when they first started dating, and he married her, but for me I can’t do it I get so attached I’m a whole Taurus and possession is part of my DNA so you gotta be all mine!🧐🙄🥰
And that's why Chicago is what it is now 🤦♀️
@@taratarat5818 lol did you say Chicago? I think you need to check with the rest of the states and the world lol trying come at Gods city!
@CHICAGO STEPPERS W/ Lady Margaret Oh don't I know lbs! I know Chicago ISN'T #1 on crime, I tell people that everyday.
There are a lot of kids born by married people spouses even from the 60's.I've talked to a lot of those old thots who tried covering their old ways but, their ways still came out through their kids.
Sad part about it is a lot of those old elders I paid attention to were from the south Georgia, Tennessee and Alabama being the hometown where they were from.
The things I've witnessed those elders doing says a lot. They partaked in drug sells and street fights too because, i ran to them when i got kicked out by an abusive parent (not dad) who ran w/the narrative that having a baby at 16 were grounds to kick me out. So when i ran to these elders thinking they were like the elders in my family only to see they were farrrrrrrr away from my upbringing even with me having an narcissistic parent.
Their ways could NEVER compare to the upbringing my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles taught us. They also were the people their own families didn't want to be bothered with.
The saddest part about it is those elders were all women who bragged about taking men then until I alert them of the punishment they're going through with their kids. Problems like not growing up aways from the drug dealer lifestyle, shootings, using people, bullying people in the neighborhoods, mainly poverty, etc.
I could go on and on about what I experienced w/them. That's when I realized a lot of them were pretty much chased from their towns because, of the reputation they gave themselves before they made it to Chicago and BOOM Chicago is taken over by a bunch of Jezebel mothers who ran from home, resided in Chicago and the cycle repeats which is why Chicago doesn't have a high marriage rate amongst blks.
I know maybe 1 or 2 guys from the south who admits to the infidelity but, they ended up getting married and staying married. Afa those elder women No man wanted them w/their ignorant ways and bad ass kids.
In some cases the bad ass kids and grandkids doesn't want to be bothered w/her unless she's drunk and acting out w/them. Most cases that elder woman is sitting in the house waiting to give hell to the only person who "has" to be bothered (her caretaker). In the end she dies leaving no form of productive legacy other then been a that and still a wreckless name for herself. I've seen it far too many times in Chicago!
Chicago has soooooooo much to offer but, these elders kids has F it up for many!!! Which is why some of them live to go back home, having the nerves to talk down on Chicago as if they weren't the problem and their Karma isn't gonna catch up w/them.
And we all see the Karma... A BloodBath!!!!
There are several examples of side chicke who became main chicks. Angelina Jolie. Alicia Keys. Mary J Blige. LeAnn Rimes. Khloe Kardashian. List goes on, so yes it's very possible. Not sure why people think it doesn't happen.
This is definitely true ... but all but one of them are now the EX-chick! 🤔🤦🏽
@@scthomas4143And the one that's left is almost undoubtedly ALLOWING him to cheat.
Men try to make it seem like they change for the better if they end up with the side chick, when they really be cheating on them too. Ladies if your man leaves you for a side chick, those side chicks are not treated any better than you. They just hide their sh** to not look like idiots. 😂
Not always a idiot
These men up here with a mic like they really got something say!!
Ladies! Please never be dependent on A man to take care of you or the children you create with him. Always put yourself on a position to take care of you and your children. When someone know that you need them they’ll never treat you like you deserve to be treated. If your husband loved and respected you he wouldn’t let another woman get close enough to partake in his betrayal of you. I’m not putting up with any type of infidelity. I’ll pack his shit up and pay for it to be delivered to her door.
Women hate this but a man will leave you and become the man you always wanted or thought of him to be. A lot of times its due to the side chick or new woman
If you feel like she isnt elevating you, why do you need to wait until the next train to hop off and then hop back on a different train? That is a character flaw within yourself bcus it doesnt seem like you cant reconize on your own you arent growing or being fulfilled with that person until a new one comes along.
@@03cornbread this isn’t necessarily true. I know how to grow alone. But it takes some time to find out your mate didn’t or doesn’t bring out the best in you. This was for the women who will feel like that man owes her his new life because that’s what she wanted from him and felt she deserved because of however long they dealt with each other. I just went through this from a 9 year relationship.
I think ppl hear the term side chick and immediately think of cheating but I think the point of the OP was that everyone has different & complex relationship dynamics...
You can love and value someone who isn't your main partner & never cross the line of infidelity.
And when the time to end your main relationship comes go be with the person who you've valued but haven't been able to engage with or commit to
Yo, what are you talking about? Side chick = cheating. Don’t try to legitimize your weak interpretation of this foolishness 😂😂
@@puddincup9879 it's not always foolishness
You can't be IN LOVE with someone without the cheating part. U opening up emotionally to someone IS emotional cheating and is also unhealthy boundaryless behavior.
The part that sticks out while he’s stating how the side chick can become the main chick is exhausting. Why hold up your life waiting on his kids to grow up and his wife to become financially stable before he leaves to choose you is tragic. You will go through so many life’s seasons missing your person over and over again, while waiting on that lady’s husband. Choose yourself !!!
This the first time ive ever heard him say some complete and utter bullshat. Hes usually mad on point. Lol
Thats it!!!! I can't!!!! This is what relationships have become.....side women vs main women....I need to be content in my singleness.
Like Sister Shahrazad Ali said, "sometimes, that's just his other woman". If a man has been in another relationship for 5, 10, 15 years with her, it's obvious that she's not a side chick he's just smashing. If you want true monogamy, you're going to have to get the men y'all skip over (average men). The top level men have never had just 1 woman in the history of Earth. There's only one Prince Charming...he just had Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. 🤷🏾♂️
There’s a saying when it comes to these things. Truth is subjective meaning my truth may not be your truth and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder meaning what I think is attractive you may not agree. Moral of the story is stop trying to fit in peoples boxes, learn how to better communicate YOUR needs and expectations and not just some shit you’ve heard others regurgitating, and learn how to be truly happy! If your single be happily single. And I mean so much so that you never find yourself judging people who have relationships because you’re so happily single. Mind the business that pays you. We are all adults now and should be able to agree to disagree and still be happy. So why are we all not happy? Why is there constantly a condescending conversation in what men/women should be doing?
He’s speaking facts the unspoken truth we all know it but never talk about it
Wtf is this man saying !!! CYNTHIA G IS RIGHT !
Guys, if you're even entertaining the thought of finding a side chick either leave the relationship or fix it. Ladies if you want to know if you're the main just ask him if you can spend time with his family.
A man will still cheat on you even if you are around his family.
I know this by experience
I be around this married man family that love me and his wife so idk this not right of me I went out like second best… forgive me ancestors lol
Family not important to everybody
They can’t leave the relationship until the side piece has been secured
I like when Tripp said, “Learn to leave people tf alone”. This goes for dating, married, children, etc. Life’s too short to try to force a partnership and try to force sex and or love. Forgive out the best exit and even coparenting strategies. You will be better individuals and if you’re parents, your will be able to grow more capacity to be a better parent, hopefully both. But even one healthy and happy parent is better than a toxic relationship parenting a children. Everyone deserves better. Life is too long and life is too short for that shit. Kids need to see parents set the example of not settling in discontent incompatibility.
Lol....the present queen of England would beg to differrrrr
Words of truth & understanding!
Tripp is right however, As the saying goes if he did it with you he will do it to you. When # 2 becomes # 1 she must keep in mind her "old" position in NOW OPEN.
If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you. He may end up with the side chick, but he’ll have another one once the side chick becomes the main. It never fails. He just hasn’t had to deal with the side chick the same way he has had to deal with his wife. The side chick seems adventurous because they don’t live their everyday lives together. The side chick will become his new normal and now he’s gonna get his excitement from a new piece of a$$. You won’t be the only one. So keep thinking you can take someone else’s man… he’s only choosing you cause you’re not considered his regular dose yet. Once you become regular to him, he will find someone else on the side.
If your situation is different let it be your situation...dont let this conversation be your confirmation...the answer should still be "No" going forward
My husband left me for the side chick. Yet he still wants to be with me and how he regrets what he’s done till this day. I blocked his ass. Side chick can have him. Anything built off of lies and deceit and built on another woman’s tears will eventually fall. It won’t stand. He will cheat on her too. Any man that can cheat on you or cheat with you doesn’t love neither parties involved. When you truly love a person you would never betray them or hurt them.
I get the ‘if he can do it with you, he’ll do it to you’. BUT every and any man is capable of cheating. Everyone on this planet in fact, if the right circumstances / person comes along so stop fooling yourselves with that statement
That sounded fucking crazy 😅
Yet it's true....
I love how he kept it 💯
I’ll Be Damned If I’m A Side .. Especially For Years …… That’s Next Level Insecurity
Oh please
@@nathalie8497 Oh Did I Offend You? 🥴🤣
The last guy is talking trash, lol. Just wants to sound sophisticated.
😂😂😂❤❤
A side chick can most deff become the main chick!!!
He is telling nothing but the truth...Just cause he cheated on you with her doesn't mean he's going to cheat on her... Women wanna be so angry at the other woman, instead of spending time looking at self...Stop going so hard on the side chic's wives, cause I know it's hard to fathom, but some of y'all husband's are still with you cause of the side chic's 🧐...
Women swear they hate cheating
But will be the ones encouraging the cheating
My mother and father relationship started on unscrupulous terms. And when his original marriage was over he married her and they continue to marry until his death 50 years later
“There you go!” 😂😂😂😂😂
Don't do it. It's a no win situation. No trust. So now you trust someone who cheated for years on their wife?
So tell it and don't keep it a secret...give the other party the respect of FULL DISCLOSURE about the "SITUATIONSHIP" . Then you can plan the motion TOGETHER. If its a side thing there's an ADVANTAGE.
The way PEOPLE make others miserable when they don't get what they want. Is the reason people just wait til/If they get caught
Yeah but If one wants to justify the 'move' give the other party the opportunity to plan their next move or agree to the terms... Let's keep it business and diplomatic.
I believe what he’s saying a side chick can become the main chick according on the situation
Yes but only if you not in it for the one you with. What dude said the one that has his heart
The state of the world is in shambles. I might as well wait until my daughter is grown to date again because folks are saying anything these days. 😂 Anything built on a faulty foundation will eventually FALL. Just saying 😅
I dont know why we are here but I know its not to play mind games, and waste peoples time. People need to really think about what happens spiritually when you intentionally waste someone's precious time with deceitful behavior. Karma is real we dont get away with anything. 💌💝💌
Tripp is a trip😊.. I love the purely honest outlook on reality. It is helpful on many different levels. His lover should be immensely grateful ❤ I kno I would be. No pun intended 😌
I love these convos because it allows me to get in folk mind but hunty i am so thankful to the Lord Jesus Christ that i am single and i am at rest to stay like this! Whew Chile😂
Its a shame we have to have conversations like this. People just don't know how to treat people and its sick.
But on the other hand, he’s kind of right 🫣 I actually know a man who’s literally living a double life and has been for over 20 years smh. He has 4 kids with his wife, 4 kids with his wife who I call his 2nd wife, and yes she’s knew he was married and still dealt with him slept with him and had children with him for all of those years, 2 homes with each one, vacations, does holidays and family outings with both and for the life of me I dont know why. He says the 2nd wife gives him all the validation and support but he’s scared the 1st wife will take all his money if he leaves so he said she’ll find out when he dies and he won’t be here 🤷🏾♀️
That's crazy. Too much time and energy between the two households. Sounds draining
@@livinmabestlife yea to the point to where he had a heart attack 🤦🏾♀️
So, he's selfish and entitled at the same time...
@@BluDrop5 Bingo!
@@lyndavialetthat's evil. The fact that he said " she find out when I die" just shows that. If you know, why won't you tell his wife. His ACTUAL wife. The first one. Technically the 2ecd one isnt even valid. Your complicit and letting it go on. He deserves to be outed. Someone told me that, you bet your ass I'm telling his wife and his family. The ones that are IN THE DARK. The fact that bitch knows and is not bothered makes her so much evil. They deserved to be so publicly shamed.
That was very well articulated !
If the side chick is his peace and continues to be his peace then she can definitely become the main.
She'll probably be a lot more understanding of him having a side chick if she becomes the main. She will do anything to please him because she wants to keep her spots.
No she will not. She's only understanding because he doesn't have the same level of accountability, responsibility, nor pressure that comes with having his family. If he marries the side chick, it will change the dynamics of the relationship and the level responsibility he has, especially if children from the marriage are involved. And the side chick now wife will always wonder if there is another side chick.
@@mzyotruthnlove8263 I was speaking from experience. I had a girlfriend before I married my current wife. Was dating both for a while but broke with my main and my side become my main. Been together 15 years now.
So it's definitely possible
@@mzyotruthnlove8263my thoughts exactly
@@Carvel0have you cheated on your new main chick?. Also what made you leave your main for your side?
Barbara fixing to be calling Shirley after watching this
Just be playing, side chicks are winning every time. They get more for less! Diana raise those children for Charles and Camilla gets to be queen! It’s not right but it is what it is!
This is why I prefer ethical non monogamy. If done correctly, there won’t be a side chick main chick because everybody knows about each other. I get that it’s not for everyone though and lots of people prefer monogamy. Just don’t hurt peoples feelings in the process. Learn to communicate and comprehend as well as listen deeply
It is the MANS NATURE to be in COMPETITION NOT WOMEN. Ladies yall make the game too easy
Yasssss. I watch my cat run home with 4 male cats. We sat on the porch and watch them fight. Soon as the big black cat came only one battle him "lost" now she pregnant. I wish I would compete with a bish or a confused man
They really do😅
LOL WHY DO PPL ALWAYS SAY HE'LL CHEAT ON YOU TOO? NOT IN ALL CASES. SOME WOMEN AND MEN ARE ACTUALLY MISERABLE IN THE MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAIN AND JUST NOT MEANT TO BE. IT IS VERY POSSIBLE FOR ONE TO BE FAITHFUL IN THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP. NOT SAYING I AGREE WITH CHEATING. BUT THE MAIN AIN'T ALWAYS BETTER ITS JUST CHEAPER TO KEEP HER. LOL. IJS
A man that finds himself in a situation. That's terrible because a man will put himself in those situations. I don't believe men are able to love and be faithful. What he does with you he'll do to you. He can say his heart is wherever that's because he's being served what he wants at that time.
Just do the right thing, people. Act with integrity.
He’s the best person on that podcast
Ok, Tripp is talking about when you have another plan in action and you've played by all the rules that's when it can work! Good!✌️❤
YES she can, because in MANY instances the SIDE chick doesn't even know SHE'S the SIDE chick, These Dudes will have you believing you the main chick and they be cheating on her with you and on you with everybody else.